Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Derry James
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000236
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00:30 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome again to
00:33 Issues and Answers. Today we are going to be 00:36 talking about joy and the title of this program is 00:39 Joy Is Free But Not Cheap. Are you interested in 00:42 finding out what we're talking about? Me too. 00:45 First let me share with you one of my favorite 00:48 scriptures from the Bible and I'm going to be reading 00:52 from the Amplified. This is Romans 15:13 and here's 00:56 what it says: May the God of your hope so fill you 01:00 with all joy and peace in believing that by the 01:04 power of the Holy Spirit you may abound, you may 01:09 overflow, bubble over with hope. You know, I did a 01:12 study in the Greek. You know what hope means in 01:16 the Greek? Eager expectation. When you know the God of 01:21 all hope, the God of eager expectation, the God of 01:26 promises, then you can eagerly expect God to 01:30 do something great in your life. With us again today 01:34 we have Pastor, excuse me, Chaplain Derry James. 01:39 She is a Doctor of Ministry and a board certified 01:43 chaplain coming to us from Grass Valley, California. 01:47 Derry, I'm so glad you're joining us again and I 01:50 can't wait to get into this topic. Let me ask you 01:54 something. I thought you were going to say something. 01:57 I was just going to respond and tell you it's nice to 02:00 be back here with you. 02:01 I'm glad. Let me ask you, I can't wait to hear what 02:06 you mean by joy is free but not cheap. But before 02:10 we get into that, let's define joy. 02:12 Joy is something we have that happens beyond 02:19 our circumstances in comparison to happiness 02:21 that is dependent upon circumstances. 02:24 Amen. It reminds me of Nehemiah 8:10 that says 02:29 the joy of the Lord is your strength. 02:31 So that's also something that's one of the gifts of 02:35 the Spirit. So joy is something that each one 02:38 of can receive from God and it is free but not cheap. 02:43 What do you mean it's not cheap? 02:45 When I came up with that title, Shelley, I was 02:49 thinking of all the different tragedies and 02:53 crises that I have walked through in my own life 02:56 for example and that there are times that I have kind 03:01 of wallowed in the problems as I have gong through 03:05 them and there are times as I became acquainted 03:09 with our Lord and Savior that even though I was 03:12 going through some severe, severe heartache, I had a 03:16 settled peace and joy in my heart because I knew 03:20 that my life was in God's hands and that His 03:24 purposes for me would be fulfilled. So that joy 03:28 sometimes come with a high price tag. That joy 03:31 sometimes comes as we walk through the sorrow 03:35 and suffering of our lives. That joy is 03:39 something that sometimes we can't experience even 03:42 on a high level until we've experienced the suffering 03:44 and heartache in our lives. 03:46 That's true. So many people do confuse joy and 03:49 happiness. They think if only I had more money 03:53 only I could pay all of my bills. They want to be in 03:57 the circumstance or in a situation that is absent 04:01 of negative circumstances. But I know a lot of people 04:05 who have all the trappings that the world could offer. 04:09 They have enough money to go around and help several 04:13 families. They've got maybe no problems with 04:16 their marriage and yet they are empty inside. 04:20 They have everything that makes for happiness in 04:23 life but they have no real joy. They are empty. 04:27 So would it be a fair statement to say that 04:32 true joy is something that we can only receive 04:37 from the Lord and it is a gift? 04:38 I believe that's true. Happiness is not long 04:42 lasting. It's momentary. As we think of the things 04:46 that you have just talked about it seems like as 04:49 we're going that route in life we're always looking 04:53 for one more fix. You know what I mean? 04:56 Yes. One more something to hang onto to give us 04:59 that happiness. If I just have this or if I just go 05:02 this place or if I just do that then I'll be happy 05:07 or that makes me feel good but when we develop 05:10 a personal relationship with our Lord, when we 05:14 learn to depend upon him, when we walk every day 05:18 with him, we have such an inner peace and joy that 05:21 these things of the world really don't matter. They 05:24 don't even call to us because there is a 05:27 settledness within the very depths of our soul 05:30 and the depths of our being. It makes me think 05:34 of the text in Philippians that says rejoice in the 05:37 Lord always and again I say rejoice. Oh that's 05:39 a song, and again I say rejoice. Remember singing 05:42 that song? In fact, in verse 6 here of Philippians 05:46 4 it says be anxious for nothing. In everything by 05:50 prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your 05:53 requests be made known to God. So it sounds like 05:57 that the key is in that text, doesn't it? Yes. 06:00 Be anxious for nothing. And why are we anxious 06:03 for nothing, how are we anxious for nothing? 06:05 Because we're in prayer. Because we have a thankful 06:08 heart. Let me ask you something. 06:10 It occurs to me you are currently working as a 06:13 chaplain and I'm sure that you have people as you are 06:17 dealing with death, which you often do, families in 06:21 crisis where they are at that turning point that 06:25 they've lost a loved one, have you seen the difference 06:28 between Christians and non-Christians in the way 06:31 they deal with death? Have you met Christians 06:35 that can walk through the valley of the shadow of 06:38 death and still have joy in the Lord, still 06:41 Nehemiah 8:10 is holding true that the joy of the 06:45 Lord is their strength? 06:46 That's absolutely true and it's an amazing thing. 06:50 It's interesting to see the reactions and 06:52 and difference even with our staff members at the 06:55 hospital as they are dealing with these families. 07:00 Because people that are so totally let's 07:04 just say sold out to Jesus and totally dependent 07:07 upon God, they can be around the bedside singing. 07:12 together as their loved one is dying and there is 07:16 such a settledness in them because they have 07:20 that hope and they know that this is not the end. 07:24 This is only a temporary situation. Yes exactly. 07:28 But the beginning will be coming when our Lord and 07:32 Savior comes again to receive us to himself. 07:34 They know that hope. 07:36 You know whenever I send a card of consolation I 07:39 always try to remember to include that in my message, 07:42 if I'm writing to a Christian which is that it's only a 07:46 temporary separation and that indeed you have 07:49 eternity to spend with your loved one and I hope you 07:52 find comfort in that because it certainly brings 07:55 me a lot of comfort. 07:56 That's learning to trust in God even in a crisis. 08:00 Let me share something with you, Derry, that my 08:03 college roommate was trying to get hold of me. 08:06 We had lost track. We both moved at the same time 08:10 and I lost tract of her for about a year. 08:11 She had her sister contact my mother trying to get 08:15 hold of me and I missed connecting with her. 08:19 Long story short, about a year later I ran into my 08:23 friend and I said You know I got the message from my 08:26 mother that you were trying to contact me and I'm so 08:29 sorry I missed it. She said well let me tell you why. 08:32 My daughter was killed; a drunk driver hit her 08:36 daughter and she was only nine years old, beautiful 08:38 little girl and it killed the daughter. 08:43 Now she was telling me that when she first went 08:47 there and was standing with her daughter's little 08:50 broken body on the ground that some friends had gone 08:54 with her and she said I was just hysterical at 08:57 first and her Christian friends surrounded her and 09:00 they became to pray from Philippians 4 for the peace 09:03 that transcends all understanding and she said 09:06 Shelley, God filled me with that peace right there. 09:10 And the difference, her husband turned away from 09:14 God. He was mad at God. But she went through this 09:17 whole thing holding onto the hope that she's got 09:20 eternity to spend with her daughter. God gave her 09:23 peace even to the point that people thought, she's 09:26 in denial because she is not grieving the way a 09:29 mother should grieve. She grieved but not that 09:33 horrendous type of grieving. She drew nearer 09:37 to the Lord. Her husband on the other hand stepped 09:41 back and really severed from God for about 10 09:44 years. It took him 10 years to come around to where he 09:48 accepted that. But now let me ask you, you've been 09:52 through some experiences in your own life and is it 09:55 okay with you, I'm asking you here on camera. 09:59 Let me ask you about your divorce. Okay. That had 10:03 to be a time when it certainly wasn't happy 10:07 circumstances. Were you able to draw on that inner 10:12 strength from God and find joy? 10:16 You know actually I'm glad you asked the question. 10:18 I am glad you asked the question because God 10:22 proved himself so powerful and so loving to me during 10:26 that time. So let me tell you a little bit about that 10:30 story, Shelley. During the time of my divorce, actually 10:34 my husband left just when I started the new job and 10:38 that was a chaplain. It wasn't just that I became 10:41 a chaplain, but that they had never had a chaplain's 10:44 department there so I had the privilege of setting up 10:47 the first chaplain's department. So when I got 10:51 the job he walked out the door and here I was 10:55 after having been a stay- at-home mom all these 10:58 years suddenly a professional in a brand 11:01 new place, new occupation, everything new about it 11:04 and devastated. So this is kind of how me routine 11:08 went: I was home at night and I was crying 11:11 hysterically and could hardly sleep, sobbing, and 11:14 I would get up in the morning and I would say 11:18 I can't do this, I just can't do this. And I 11:22 would hear the prompting of the Lord saying, praise 11:26 me. I said, praise you, I can't even talk. I was 11:28 thinking this in my mind as I was praying to God. 11:32 And God said sing. Now I just sing for my own 11:35 amusement; it's not anything that I'm very 11:38 gifted at. But I can carry a little bit of a tune you 11:41 know and God said sing and I said I can't even 11:44 talk. I would get in the car and drive the 15 11:47 minutes to work and obediently I would try to 11:50 croak out a song of praise to God. I would 11:54 start and the lump in my throat was so big I truly 11:57 could hardly utter the words. By the time I got 12:00 to the hospital, I was singing a song of praise. 12:04 God honored that. You know the scripture says I will 12:08 offer him the sacrifice of praise. Well I believe 12:11 that that was my sacrifice of praise because I 12:14 certainly did not feel like praise at that time. 12:17 As I walked into the hospital, it was like the 12:21 Lord anointed me, gave me a whole new spirit. I was 12:24 overwhelmed with an anointing where I had the 12:28 joy, I had the peace, I had the presence to be 12:31 with the patients and minister to their needs. 12:33 So this whole routine went on for a while. God allowed 12:39 me the gift of grieving at home but he absolutely 12:43 filled my soul as I allowed myself to be obedient to 12:47 him, give myself to him, and praise him in all things. 12:51 So you're proving the point the same as with my friend 12:54 is that we can have joy in our hearts even when 12:58 there's no happiness in our hearts. Exactly. 13:02 You know when you were saying about Him asking 13:05 you to sing and to praise him, you know what I was 13:10 thinking? Why does God require praise? It doesn't 13:14 change him. Who does praise change? It's for us. 13:18 It changes us. And as we praise him and focus on 13:23 his goodness and on his mercy and his love, it's 13:27 hard not to be joyful no matter what the circumstances. 13:30 We may be trapped in negative circumstances. 13:34 You were trapped in those circumstances. Your husband 13:37 wanted a divorce. He walked out the door. 13:40 It caught you off guard. But now here you are 13:43 even though you are in those circumstances you 13:47 found joy and strength immeasurable. 13:50 Shelley, why don't we look at together how do we 13:54 deal with circumstances that we are actually 13:59 living in with other people where we are 14:03 stretched maybe to the limit. Let's just say for 14:08 a moment we're living in our marital situation and 14:11 we're not getting along well with our spouse or 14:15 we have some major issues with our spouse and let's 14:19 take the same example living with children and 14:23 maybe the children are not responsive to the adult 14:27 authorities there. Maybe there are some major 14:31 conflicts between the parents and children or 14:35 children and parents, which ever way you want to look 14:38 at it. The child is turning toward drugs for example. 14:40 Or maybe the child wants to follow Jesus and the 14:42 parents don't want to have anything to do with it. 14:45 So it really doesn't matter. I'm just saying 14:48 let's look at other situations. I'd like to 14:50 share with you something God taught me just a few 14:54 years ago that to me has been a powerful, powerful 14:58 tool. Okay. I went to a seminar and they had 15:01 actually kind of parallel themes, but the main 15:05 theme was The Unoffendable Christ. 15:08 I thought the unoffendable Christ. Now that's 15:12 interesting. I really contemplated that and I 15:17 thought well I pray frequently Jesus help me 15:20 be like you. But I don't have this check list of 15:24 how I want to be like Jesus. I just say help me 15:27 to be like you. As I thought of the unoffendable 15:30 Christ, I thought, well of course Jesus didn't get 15:33 offended. So if Jesus didn't get offended, why 15:35 do I need to get offended? Then I thought, well I'm 15:39 human, I'm not God. But I thought about that whole 15:42 concept. Then another parallel theme was 15:45 bless those that despitefully use you, bless those that 15:50 curse you. I truly,truly... It was a five-hour drive, 15:55 and on the way home I thought about everything 15:58 that was presented there. I thought this is true; 16:01 Jesus didn't get offended and if Jesus didn't get 16:04 offended why do I need to get offended? 16:06 You know, people are people. We all have our 16:09 baggage, we all have our problems, we all have those 16:12 idiosyncrasies that we need to overcome and we 16:16 need to give each other grace. If someone has a 16:19 reaction to me or they're having a bad day doesn't 16:22 mean I have to let it get to me. I can love them in 16:25 spite of it. So how does that play out? Well that 16:28 plays out with the second part, that parallel theme, 16:31 of blessing those that persecute you. I can 16:36 remember coming home after the seminar and one of my 16:40 children had moved back home temporarily and they 16:43 had had like a really bad day. I'd been gone for 16:46 about three days. When I left everything was great. 16:48 When I came home he was hardly speaking to me. 16:51 Now five hours I'd contemplated on this theme, 16:54 Shelley. Not to be offended. That's right. 16:56 And I walk in the door and have this confrontation 16:59 immediately with my son who, just honestly, was 17:03 was downright rude at that moment. I thought, I don't 17:07 need this. First reaction, I don't need this. I've 17:10 been gone for three days I've just come home, what 17:13 is his problem. That's all going through my head as 17:16 I carry my luggage in. I sat down in my room and 17:19 Oh! The unoffendable Christ, blessed. So I went 17:22 up to my office and I said oh Father bless my son 17:25 with the give of communication, bless him 17:26 with unconditional love, bless him with respect and 17:29 honor for his parent. Bless him with the knowledge 17:32 that I love him no matter what. I was just up there 17:35 blessing him and blessing him and blessing him. 17:38 He came upstairs and he was still upset but you 17:42 know what, I'll use the word "magic" for a moment; 17:46 the "magic" happened in me. God changed me. There was 17:51 a major transformation and anything he said it was 17:55 just like water off a duck's back. I was at total peace 17:59 and because I was at total peace that just spilled 18:02 right over to him and the whole thing was gone and 18:06 over. So we can have joy in difficult circumstances 18:10 no matter what if our focus remains on our Lord 18:14 and if our responses and reactions follow our Lord's 18:17 example. Amen! You know when you're 18:20 sitting here talking... You're going to love this: 18:24 I was praying one day and as I sat at the feet of 18:27 the Lord being still to know that he was God, 18:30 waiting for his response, he said something to me 18:33 that just caught me off guard, because I was really 18:35 expecting the Lord to give me a pat on the back 18:38 for some things that he had accomplished through 18:41 me. And all of a sudden what was impressed upon 18:43 my mind is, I will cure you of the spirit of offense. 18:49 I thought, yes, I had been offended that day and he 18:53 said the spirit of offense is nothing more than the 18:56 spirit of pride which is the spirit of antichrist. 19:00 Now when you think about that, see Christ was never 19:04 offended because he had no pride. It was perfect 19:08 humility. Philippians tells that we are to have that 19:13 same likeness of Christ the same mind of Christ. 19:16 So when we get offended it's just because our pride 19:20 has popped up and that robs us of joy. 19:24 So I'm just sitting here thinking out loud that 19:28 pride will rob us of joy. Absolutely. Pride will 19:32 make us insecure. Pride will make us easily offended. 19:37 That is something that robs us of our joy. 19:41 But then likewise I had a situation, J.D. and I, with 19:45 a business partner and I won't go into it but we 19:49 ended up $250,000 in debt because of this man and it 19:53 was terrible. The man threatened my life. 19:57 It was horrible. God knew that I was holding 20:01 unforgiveness in my heart for this person. You cannot 20:04 have joy with unforgiveness in your heart. Darkness 20:07 and light have no association. So what 20:10 happened the Lord kept telling me pray for him. 20:13 Pray for his salvation. You know what my first 20:16 response was? I don't care if he's saved or not, and I 20:20 really wanted him to rot somewhere else, if you 20:24 will. This was many years ago, but finally the Holy 20:28 Spirit was working on me to the point, Derry, that 20:33 I said Okay Lord I'll pray for his salvation because 20:35 you're asking me to. You know, because I'm saying 20:38 how can I forgive him. How can you demand that I 20:41 forgive him? As I prayed for this man's salvation 20:45 at the leading of the Lord God did such a work in my 20:48 heart. He put forgiveness... You cannot pray for 20:51 somebody's salvation and not get forgiveness in 20:55 your heart. God released me from the chain of the 20:59 wicked that was binding me. He restored my joy as I 21:04 was blessing the one who was cursing me by praying 21:07 for his salvation. So this is a biblical principle 21:10 and it works. Absolutely and you can't 21:12 hate somebody that you are praying for, you can't. 21:16 No because the Lord shows you that person from his 21:21 perspective and his love for them gets transferred 21:25 into your heart. You know you brought up 21:28 the forgiveness issue and as you brought that up 21:31 I was thinking. You know again I'm going back to 21:35 Jesus as our example here Shelley. But when Jesus 21:38 was on the cross, he didn't have to take time to 21:42 kind of chew on it or cogitate. 21:45 Jesus forgiveness for the people that had so treated 21:52 him the way they had was instantaneous. 21:55 Again, looking at Jesus as our example, that's where 21:59 we need to go, not nursing those grudges, 22:02 not nursing those problems. What you went through was 22:06 major crisis. Yes. Major. I mean life changing 22:12 affecting crisis. To say well tritely we'll just 22:17 forgive him. I mean you had your own emotions 22:20 you had to work through plus you had all the 22:23 repercussions in your life that you had to work 22:27 through. But the bottom line is that's where you 22:31 were and you could either hang onto that lack of 22:34 forgiveness and let it absolutely destroy you 22:37 which ultimately was giving this person control over 22:39 you still or you could release the whole thing 22:43 to God and God's judgment. So often we forget to say 22:48 thank you in the midst of trial. We forget to say... 22:52 We don't want to say thank you. 22:54 No we don't but as we say thank you and praise you 22:58 God for this we actually are releasing God to work 23:02 in our lives, releasing God to be effective, 23:05 releasing God to do something with the 23:08 situation as we praise him. I mean, that is biblical. 23:12 You know, I'm thinking about joy being free. 23:17 Galatians 5:22: The fruit of the Spirit: Love, joy 23:20 peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, 23:23 faithfulness and self- control. Love, joy and 23:27 peace, this is something that God pours into us. 23:31 He is the Spirit of Love. He is the God of Peace, 23:35 Jehovah Shalom. His joy is our strength. So this 23:39 is a gift from him. But I know we've got someone 23:43 who is listening to us, Derry, who is saying, I 23:46 want that joy. How do I get reconnected to my 23:51 joy? You're saying it's not free. It takes a 23:56 little effort doesn't it to connect again to God. 23:59 If you've been robbed of your joy you're really 24:03 disconnected from God. Would you agree? 24:05 Oh absolutely. Okay, how does someone get 24:08 connected back to God to open their heart and 24:10 receive his joy? Well, I can tell you 24:13 something that definitely has worked for me. 24:16 When I was beginning to go downhill emotionally 24:21 and feeling sorry for myself, that just meant 24:24 that I wasn't living in the position of gratitude 24:29 or praise. So I gave myself the assignment of writing 24:33 down 10 things for 10 days, all different things, 24:38 that I could be thankful for. I couldn't repeat, I 24:41 had to come up with 10 new things and it could be 24:43 as simple as I'm thankful that I have a glass of 24:46 water, I'm thankful that the sun came up today. 24:49 Like I told you before the program I was thankful 24:52 after Christmas day when we had no hot water, I was 24:57 thankful for hot water. Exactly. So as I 25:01 focused on those things in life that I can be thankful for 25:06 and took the focus off all those things that were 25:12 pulling me down, that attitude of gratitude put 25:17 me in a spirit of oneness with Jesus which ultimately 25:21 opened me up again to let him pour himself into me. 25:25 So it was meditating on those blessings, it was 25:30 spending time with my God sharing my heart to him 25:34 as a friend, letting him know exactly how I felt 25:37 about everything and letting him know all the 25:40 hopes and dreams that I had or the ones that were 25:44 dashed and just opening my heart to total trust 25:47 and confidence in his plan. You know, we've each 25:51 been created for a particular destiny and 25:54 the enemy wants to thwart God's plan in our life and 25:58 as we come to focus on the fact that this is a battle 26:02 over our very soul to snatch us away from the 26:05 hands of our Lord. As we consciously choose to put 26:09 ourselves back in God's hands and say Lord fulfill 26:13 your destiny in my life, it brings a settledness 26:16 to our spirit. In fact, with what you were just 26:20 sharing about the gifts, it just seems to me that 26:24 we could say joy equals peace equals love. 26:28 And love equals joy equals peace. Exactly right. 26:32 Well you know so we've looked at several things 26:35 and one being that God told you to praise him and 26:38 that helped restore your joy. Meditating on good 26:41 things, spending time in prayer with the Lord 26:44 in his presence. Something else I find is 26:47 focusing on his promises. Absolutely. As I claim 26:49 his promises and speak them over my life, I find 26:53 that if my level of joy is low he brings me up. 26:56 You know what? Our time is almost all gone again. 26:59 Derry, will you please come back and do some more 27:02 programs with us. I would love to join you again. 27:05 This was great fun. Thank you so much. 27:07 I know you're so good at the work that you do as 27:11 chaplain. You have such a gentle, precious spirit. 27:14 Well thank you. We're not good at anything 27:17 without Jesus. Amen. 27:19 For those of you at home I hope that the joy of 27:22 the Lord will be your strength. I hope that you 27:25 will go to the God of hope and ask him, Lord help 27:28 me to open my heart to you. Pour out your love 27:31 joy and peace in me. Give me the fruit of the Spirit 27:35 Give me eager expectation that you are a God of your 27:39 word and that your promises can be trusted. 27:42 May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of 27:46 the Father and the fellowship of the Holy 27:48 Spirit be with you today and throughout the rest of 27:52 this year. Thank you for joining us. |
Revised 2014-12-17