Hello, I'm Shelley
Quinn and welcome again to
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Issues and Answers.
Today we're going to be talking
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about the cousins of fear and
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loneliness. I have a scripture
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that goes along with that.
In Psalm 68 let me read to you
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verses 5 and 6. The Bible says:
A father of the fatherless and
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a judge and protector of
the widows is God in his holy
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habitation. God places the
solitary (or the lonely) in
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families and gives the desolate
a home in which to dwell.
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He leads the prisoners out
to prosperity but the rebellious
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dwell in a parched land.
We're going to learn today that
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the rebellious here are those
who are sinners which can lead
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to loneliness and leave you in a
dry spiritual place. But God can
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lead you out of the prison
of loneliness and into the
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prosperity of a personal
relationship with him and
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enjoying fellowship with
many other people. So if you're
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lonely or you know anyone
else who's lonely then I just
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encourage you to stay tuned
for this wonderful program.
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Our special guest today is
someone that I just fell in love
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with the first time I met
her. She and I have become great
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friends. I'm pleased to
introduce to you Derry James.
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She is a Doctor of Ministry
and she is a board certified
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chaplain. She comes to us
from Grass Valley, California.
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Derry, I am so glad that you are
here today and it's good to have
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you back at 3ABN. Thank
you Shelley. I always love
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coming back here and visiting
with my friends and sharing with
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our audience. It's
always a blessing when you
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come because you've done a lot
of spots for us and you've done
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these issues and answers for us
before and we're hoping to bring
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you in to do some more programs.
One thing I appreciate about you
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is that you are a real prayer
warrior so you and I are just
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kind of spiritual
cousins aren't we?
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We are indeed, just at a
moment's notice we break into
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prayer don't we?
Yes, amen. Now speaking of
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cousins though, your title
fascinates me talking about the
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cousins of fear and loneliness.
How is fear a cousin to
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loneliness? Shelley,
we're not going to talk
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a lot about fear today, but I
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think I just would like to
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introduce that topic and maybe
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give some definition to
different types of fear before
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we go into the loneliness part
and how they interact together.
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Okay, that would be great.
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As we think about fear, there is
perceived fear. For example, I
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heard a story of some friends
that went to visit their friends
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They came into the house. The
friends said come on in and sit
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down. They sat down on the sofa
and there in front of them right
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after they sat down sat a huge
Doberman and the Doberman was
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just showing its teeth. They sat
there and they didn't want to
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move and they couldn't wait for
the host to come in and get the
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dog out of there. They just sat
there frozen. They were afraid
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that dog was going to attack
them just sitting there showing
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his teeth. When the host came in
he said, oh I'm so sorry. Grace
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was sitting here and she's
smiling at you. All you had to
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do was reach out and
pet her and she would left.
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I think that would have
gotten my attention too.
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So that was perceived fear,
you know. The dog didn't mean
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any harm; he was actually
smiling. And then there's
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perceived fear. I can remember
when I was a child and we were
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all sleeping on the living room
floor during the holidays and
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I woke up to a sound and, as
a little girl, saw these shadows
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on the wall and I was convinced
that someone was outside the
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window trying to break in and
it was just a bush and the tree
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was moving it. So these
are perceived fears that can
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actually cause terror. Then we
have genuine fear. Like the time
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I walked into my house and there
was a picture of me drawn on my
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window. Someone had definitely
come into my house, broken in,
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and my life was in danger. So
genuine fear needs to be dealt
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with. Perceived fear we need
to let go of. But then we have
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imagined fears. These could be
simple things. It could be going
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to church and a dear friend
didn't speak to us today and we
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walked right by and so suddenly
we imagine that they don't like
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us or they don't care about us
or we're not important or there
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is a problem that's developed
between us. We may have an
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imagined fear that if a family
member isn't home on time that
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something has happened.
Or if someone calls when the
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phone rings at 3 o'clock in the
morning. We never expect good
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news. It alarms us and we wake
up and we're just expecting a
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bad report. Right,
right. Well it's those
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imagined fears that actually
can roll right into loneliness
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because when we imagine that
we're not being accepted or that
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there's a problem, then we tend
to isolate instead of deal with
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things directly often times. And
as we begin to isolate if other
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people don't recognize we have
chosen to isolate and they don't
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draw us out, then we begin to
feel more lonely, more unloved,
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more unaccepted and we have set
ourselves up. We've actually set
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ourselves up. So fear
can lead to this state
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of mind where you are isolating
yourself from others and it
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actually is... loneliness
is a state of mine, is it not?
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Well that's true, that's exactly
true. And I think that we also
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need to recognize it as a sin
because often times it's because
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of our pride or it's a form
of selfishness and then that
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intensifies. So it's' this
little root that can begin to
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build. I'd like to define
loneliness for a minute because
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there is an undesired aloneness
that we have to deal with but
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then there is actually the
solitude part which is just the
opposite which is a
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desired aloneness and that's
healthy; that's a healthy thing.
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And we'll talk a
little bit more about that.
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But before we do because I know
there's someone who's sitting
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out there that something that
you just said that loneliness is
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a sin. It can be a sin. It's not
always as sin thought. Because
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there are times when you
are forced into a situation or
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perhaps you've lost a loved one
and you go through that natural
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sense of loneliness. So it's not
always a sin. But something else
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that you said, you know, I'm
thinking about Hebrews 13 that
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says that Jesus is always with
us; that he never leaves us or
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forsakes us. And there are
people who almost choose in a
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selfish way to isolate
themselves from others because
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of fear and they do suffer that
loneliness and it is almost a
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sin. It's like they are not
recognizing the presence of the
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Lord or they're
choosing to close God out.
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I was just going to say, they're
also pulling away from God.
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They isolate from people but
then they begin to isolate from
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God and then they
begin to question God.
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Well, let's define loneliness,
Shelley. Loneliness is solitary,
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it's without company, it's
destitute of sympathetic or
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friendly companionship. It's
depressed by being alone. It can
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be sorry for yourself or
self pity and weepy, you can get
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weepy, and it actually can
develop into severe illness.
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So loneliness can go into
depression; I mean it can make
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a chemical change
in your brain, right?
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Right. Okay. And it's kind
of the dark night of the soul.
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You know people go
through these tragedies or these
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difficult situations in life and
we come apart to deal with it
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and then we become so isolated
and so alone that we cut
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ourselves off from other people,
we cut ourselves out from God,
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and it truly can be a
dark night of the soul.
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I've been there. As
have I, and I think anybody
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that's going through a really
severe case of loneliness knows
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what that's like. But, may I ask
you a question? I have a friend,
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I recall this story so vividly
because she was my college
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roommate. She married, she was
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living on a ranch and I had
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called her one day just to catch
up and she told me, she said,
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Shelley, I am so lonely. She and
her husband were quite isolated
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from others. I think their
closest neighbor was maybe 50
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miles away. So she was in the
middle of this huge ranch and
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she said the loneliest time of
my life is in the evenings when
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comes in from working outside
and she said we're in the same
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room but there's no real
communion or communication.
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So you can even feel alone or
feel that loneliness when you're
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with someone, right?
Absolutely. Yes we are going
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to address that precise thing
that you have the loneliness
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even when you're not alone. So
what does that feel like. Let's
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talk about some definitives of
what that loneliness feels like
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that probably our audience
can identify with. Feelings are
00:10:02.42\00:10:05.58
obviously depression. We've
talked about how it can go into
00:10:05.61\00:10:08.73
even deep depression. But
a person that is lonely feels
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detached. They feel like
a zombie, they feel hollow,
00:10:13.25\00:10:17.64
sometimes even totally empty.
They can feel intense emotion,
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vulnerable, helpless, hopeless.
It's a powerful emotion and they
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can have a lack of direction, a
lack of hope, a lack of purpose,
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it gets to the point where there
are no goals, there are no plans
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Values are questioned and there
is a loss of significance. We're
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talking about intense, intense
feelings and responses and
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reactions as we deal with the
aloneness and loneliness that
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isn't chosen. So
I'm listening to you and
00:10:58.65\00:11:01.77
what's coming into my mind right
now, Derry, is that loneliness
00:11:01.81\00:11:05.34
and when we entertain loneliness
for an extended period of time
00:11:05.37\00:11:09.22
it's almost like a switch that
can shut down the rest of our
00:11:09.26\00:11:13.53
emotions and it's like we're
turning off from the world.
00:11:13.57\00:11:18.59
Some people may not recognize
it, but they are lonely by
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choice. Is that correct? Because
there are people who will say
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you know I go to church and
I come home and I don't think
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anybody really even notices
me. Have you ever had somebody
00:11:32.53\00:11:36.74
say nobody talked to me, but
what they didn't recognize was
00:11:36.78\00:11:39.37
that they went in and they
sat down and maybe it was their
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fears, but that they sat on the
back row and hopped up and left
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and they kept their head down
and they just scurried in and
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scurried out. These things
happen but it's not always a
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choice but
sometimes it is a choice.
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In your sharing that it made
me think of a little comment:
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To have friends, we have
to prove ourselves friendly.
00:12:03.01\00:12:05.42
You know, that we have to reach
out as well as expecting people
00:12:05.46\00:12:09.52
to reach out to us. And when we
have ourself in this kind of a
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deep hole, it's hard to do that,
you know, because we're rather
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cocooned ourselves. But if
we think of loneliness, there's
00:12:17.62\00:12:23.01
actually an implied absence of
God in that whole thing and we
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can think of David in Psalms
142 and 143 who cries out.
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He just cries out to God and he
wonders about where God is and
00:12:33.63\00:12:38.77
why God isn't there. And Job;
Job expressed it over and over
00:12:38.80\00:12:43.70
again, particularly in Job 23.
But Jesus expressed it on the
00:12:43.73\00:12:48.77
cross too, that absence of
God his Father in his life. That
00:12:48.81\00:12:56.19
aloneness. So the feelings of
aloneness can be misunderstood
00:12:56.23\00:13:01.39
when we're going through
that. But also it's very easy to
00:13:01.42\00:13:05.87
misunderstand other people
as we are in this state of
00:13:05.90\00:13:10.12
loneliness. You know, I'm
thinking of a text in Hebrews
00:13:10.15\00:13:14.30
12:14 & 15 when you're talking
about that we can feel lonely
00:13:14.34\00:13:18.66
even when we are with other
people. It says pursue peace
00:13:18.70\00:13:23.07
with all people and holiness
without which no one will see
00:13:23.10\00:13:27.40
the Lord, looking carefully lest
anyone fall short of the grace
00:13:27.43\00:13:31.34
of God, lest any root of
bitterness springing up cause
00:13:31.38\00:13:37.74
trouble and by this many become
defiled. You know, when we're
00:13:37.77\00:13:41.49
feeling alone even when we're
with people then we begin to
00:13:41.53\00:13:46.29
develop resentments and
bitterness and it's interesting
00:13:46.32\00:13:50.16
that when we don't come
and talk it out, if we don't
00:13:50.20\00:13:53.97
confront people that we think
there may be a problem that
00:13:54.00\00:13:57.43
we're having, this is all an
imaginary case that we've set
00:13:57.47\00:14:00.87
ourselves up to just get
into a deeper, deeper hole.
00:14:00.90\00:14:04.34
But, Derry, what about
the person who is very shy by
00:14:04.37\00:14:07.74
nature and they've grown up and
they're more introverted than
00:14:07.78\00:14:12.61
extroverted, what about
that person when they're in this
00:14:12.64\00:14:17.85
pain; because loneliness can
be very painful and I think you
00:14:17.89\00:14:21.03
said that you've been through
it, I've been through it and
00:14:21.06\00:14:24.79
sometimes it's circumstantial.
You know circumstances, you may
00:14:24.82\00:14:29.79
be cut off from your family. I'm
just thinking about this last
00:14:29.83\00:14:34.76
Christmas when everyone was
snowed in in the airports and
00:14:34.80\00:14:38.50
maybe if you were traveling
alone and you ended up spending
00:14:38.54\00:14:42.57
Christmas in an airport isolated
from your family, totally
00:14:42.61\00:14:46.57
surrounded by strangers, if you
were an introvert, how painfully
00:14:46.61\00:14:52.15
alone you must have felt. But
is it not true that in a sense,
00:14:52.18\00:14:57.93
as a Christian in particular,
that being alone we should never
00:14:57.97\00:15:02.62
feel loneliness recognizing that
God is the God of relationship
00:15:02.66\00:15:07.27
and that he is with us always.
00:15:07.31\00:15:09.04
Absolutely. Shelley, you're
talking about that shy person
00:15:09.08\00:15:14.44
and some people are alone
and comfortable with that. They
00:15:14.47\00:15:19.76
enjoy their aloneness. But we're
talking about the person that
00:15:19.80\00:15:24.94
needs others and so they need
to think outside of themselves
00:15:24.97\00:15:30.12
a bit. For the shy person, we'll
talk about this more later,
00:15:30.15\00:15:34.76
we'll give some actual
tips on how to come out of our
00:15:34.80\00:15:39.38
loneliness but for that
shy person, if they are not
00:15:39.41\00:15:43.52
comfortable being communicative
face to face, they could write a
00:15:43.56\00:15:47.91
note. They could do something
that's thinking outside of
00:15:47.94\00:15:50.68
themselves and and reaching out.
When we think of aloneness and
00:15:50.72\00:15:57.31
when we think of broken
relationships, those are the
kind of things that are
00:15:57.34\00:16:02.39
difficult to deal with, when we
have that lack of intimacy any
00:16:02.42\00:16:07.44
longer with people that are
around us that we love. It's
00:16:07.47\00:16:10.95
feeling alone when there are
people with us. So we have two
00:16:10.99\00:16:14.62
groups of people really; we have
those that are actually alone,
00:16:14.66\00:16:18.89
living alone, they're alone
for whatever reasons and then we
00:16:18.93\00:16:23.13
have people that feel
alone in the midst of family or
00:16:23.16\00:16:26.58
friends. But the answers are the
same. I was just thinking of a
00:16:26.62\00:16:34.74
scripture here in Philippians
2:3 -  4. It says: Let nothing
00:16:34.77\00:16:41.19
be done through selfish ambition
or conceit but in lowliness of
00:16:41.23\00:16:46.68
mind let each esteem others
better than themselves. Let each
00:16:46.72\00:16:50.98
of you look out not only for his
own interests but also for the
00:16:51.02\00:16:55.76
interests of others. See this is
really key; it's scriptural, but
00:16:55.79\00:17:00.28
it's a key to stop thinking of
ourselves and think of others.
00:17:00.31\00:17:04.91
And even in our pain and the
things we're going through it's
00:17:04.94\00:17:09.51
trying to refocus. I
remember when my sister was
00:17:09.54\00:17:12.52
living in Chicago and she called
me once and she was really
00:17:12.56\00:17:15.93
lonely because she wasn't
working, her husband was gone
00:17:15.97\00:17:19.65
all day and he didn't get in
till late at night and had to
00:17:19.69\00:17:23.20
take the AO coming home. She
would call me and she was going
00:17:23.23\00:17:26.57
into depression because her
loneliness was over a protracted
00:17:26.60\00:17:30.31
period of time. I told her, I
said, You know what you need to
00:17:30.35\00:17:33.91
do, you need to quit focusing
on yourself. Go volunteer at the
00:17:33.95\00:17:37.70
Salvation Army, go volunteer
anywhere; and when she did take
00:17:37.73\00:17:41.43
that advice it totally turned
her life around because her
00:17:41.47\00:17:45.75
focus was so much on self
and just being isolated when she
00:17:45.78\00:17:49.43
didn't want to be. But when
she got out and reached out to
00:17:49.47\00:17:53.09
others it
totally changed her life.
00:17:53.12\00:17:56.47
Yes. There's a creation account
that I'd like to go back and
00:17:56.51\00:18:01.07
talk about because I like
to tie everything back to the
00:18:01.10\00:18:03.97
scripture. You know, humans were
created maybe out of loneliness,
00:18:04.01\00:18:08.33
God wanted relationship. I don't
know that God was lonely. He had
00:18:08.37\00:18:12.66
the angels and so on around
him. But Adam was lonely for a
00:18:12.69\00:18:18.65
companion and what did God say
in scripture. He said, It is not
00:18:18.69\00:18:22.33
good for man to be alone. That
came straight from the mouth
00:18:22.36\00:18:27.34
of God. So Eve was provided for
companionship for Adam. It is
00:18:27.38\00:18:33.17
also interesting to me that when
Cain slew Abel, what was the
00:18:33.20\00:18:38.96
judgment? It was a
curse. He had to be
00:18:38.99\00:18:41.98
alone. That's
right, he was sent out
00:18:42.02\00:18:44.94
alone and he even said this is
more than I can bear which kind
00:18:44.98\00:18:48.75
of makes me think of you know
punishment when you're in prison
00:18:48.79\00:18:52.53
What is the worst punishment?
00:18:52.56\00:18:54.25
Solitary confinement.
That's right. So this is an
00:18:54.29\00:18:57.62
amazing state of mind, it's
an amazing thing that can happen
00:18:57.66\00:19:03.58
to us in that
aloneness and lonely time.
00:19:03.61\00:19:07.73
Okay, we only have about eight
minutes left, so let's talk
00:19:07.77\00:19:12.02
about some therapeutic
actions, how we can come out of
00:19:12.05\00:19:16.23
loneliness. What do you say to
people who are listening to us
00:19:16.27\00:19:20.54
right now. How do they
overcome this loneliness?
00:19:20.57\00:19:23.77
Shelley, I think that before
we go into that I'd like to back
00:19:23.80\00:19:27.19
track a little bit, because in
order to come out of it we have
00:19:27.23\00:19:31.02
to be aware that we're in it.
So let's talk about how can we
00:19:31.06\00:19:34.82
be aware, awareness of
loneliness, because loneliness
00:19:34.85\00:19:39.35
is actually a control of our
heart. First of all we need to
00:19:39.38\00:19:44.50
recognize and admit that we are
lonely. Then we have to look at
00:19:44.53\00:19:49.61
ourselves and think what
inner need is not being met that
00:19:49.65\00:19:54.66
this is happening to me and how
can I get them met. Then if I
00:19:54.69\00:19:59.67
can't, how can I adjust
under these limitations or these
00:19:59.70\00:20:04.26
circumstances. It puts us
in a position where we need to
00:20:04.30\00:20:09.49
actually make some new choices,
make some conscious choices.
00:20:09.52\00:20:17.14
We can't confuse the person that
is actually alone or even alone
00:20:17.18\00:20:24.76
and married, we cannot
confuse sexual deprivation with
00:20:24.79\00:20:31.31
loneliness. We need to actually
admit just like in your advice
00:20:31.35\00:20:38.32
to your sister, we need
to admit to ourselves that
00:20:38.35\00:20:40.92
inactivity can contribute
to loneliness in our lives and
00:20:40.95\00:20:47.36
that loneliness itself can lead
to a spiritual development where
00:20:47.39\00:20:53.60
we need spiritual healing.
00:20:53.64\00:20:54.77
Yes, because loneliness can lead
to self-pity and self-pity is
00:20:54.81\00:20:59.57
straight from the pits of
hell. That's right. It is.
00:20:59.60\00:21:02.51
So I think if we have these
awarenesses then we can move
00:21:02.54\00:21:05.38
into the therapeutic solutions.
So it's admitting, it's taking
00:21:05.42\00:21:10.13
a kind of an
inventory of ourselves.
00:21:10.16\00:21:11.93
You know, I'm the type of person
that required some solitude.
00:21:11.96\00:21:16.17
I don't get nearly enough, but
I don't function well without
00:21:16.20\00:21:20.97
it. So we're not talking
about if you choose to be alone.
00:21:21.00\00:21:25.73
There's nothing wrong. If you're
00:21:25.77\00:21:27.58
happy and
you're alone, you know,
00:21:27.62\00:21:29.36
you might be spending great
amounts of time in deep study
00:21:29.40\00:21:33.07
of the Bible or you may be doing
a great work. That's not what
00:21:33.11\00:21:36.39
we're talking about. We're
talking about people who find
00:21:36.42\00:21:40.41
it painful, they're suffering
this condition of loneliness.
00:21:40.44\00:21:44.39
Remember Jesus even took time to
00:21:44.43\00:21:47.97
be alone. So there are benefits
00:21:48.00\00:21:50.87
in taking this solitude, this
00:21:50.90\00:21:53.68
alone time, this healthy alone
00:21:53.72\00:21:56.43
time. Exactly. Okay, so some
therapeutic actions would be
00:21:56.46\00:22:01.46
number one, not to blame
anyone else for our loneliness.
00:22:01.50\00:22:06.43
Sometimes we want to shift the
blame and make it someone else's
00:22:06.47\00:22:11.17
responsibility to get us out of
that loneliness that we're going
00:22:11.20\00:22:16.78
through. So we can't shift the
blame. Then it will help if we
00:22:16.82\00:22:21.69
stop living in the past and
we look forward to the future,
00:22:21.73\00:22:26.53
because living in the past puts
us in a position often of living
00:22:26.57\00:22:32.19
with bitterness, guilt, some of
those unhappy feelings that are
00:22:32.22\00:22:37.80
causing us to blame ourselves,
regrets that make us feel
00:22:37.84\00:22:43.61
unworthy maybe to
be with other people.
00:22:43.64\00:22:46.51
Amen. You know, I had a
scripture. Let me turn to that
00:22:46.54\00:22:49.02
real quickly here because Isaiah
43:18-19 says: Do not earnestly
00:22:49.05\00:23:12.34
remember the former things
neither consider the things of
00:23:12.37\00:23:16.13
old. Behold I am doing a new
thing. Now it springs forth; do
00:23:16.16\00:23:19.88
you not perceive it. So
if you're living in the past,
00:23:19.91\00:23:23.65
remember Isaiah 43:18-19, God
saying quit looking in the rear
00:23:23.68\00:23:27.79
view mirror because you can't
go forward, you can't see the
00:23:27.82\00:23:31.70
new thing that I'm doing. He
wants you to look forward to the
00:23:31.74\00:23:35.58
plan that he has for
your life. Right? Amen, Yes.
00:23:35.62\00:23:40.03
Well, another therapeutic point
might be to realize there's no
00:23:40.07\00:23:45.83
shame in being alone. Sometimes
when we go through death or loss
00:23:45.87\00:23:51.61
divorce, we're not used to being
alone so we feel like we're very
00:23:51.64\00:23:57.90
conspicuous and again we begin
to cocoon. People aren't really
00:23:57.93\00:24:02.56
paying any attention. They're
not recognizing or noticing as
00:24:02.59\00:24:07.25
much as we might think they are.
So there's no shame in being
00:24:07.29\00:24:12.79
alone. We need to find the joy
and the possibilities of that
00:24:12.83\00:24:17.92
alone time as well. Then to
get help we have to give help.
00:24:17.96\00:24:23.02
That's exactly right. I
think that if we don't hang
00:24:23.06\00:24:27.91
onto anything else, that's a
very important point to remember
00:24:27.95\00:24:31.46
that in the very fact of giving
help we are helping ourselves
00:24:31.49\00:24:34.97
heal and get out
of this whole dilemma.
00:24:35.00\00:24:37.88
May I share a quick story. We
have a widow in our church and
00:24:37.91\00:24:42.18
she was devastated by her
husband's death. She had married
00:24:42.21\00:24:47.50
quite early, had a background
of growing up with severe abuse
00:24:47.53\00:24:52.79
and he had rescued her from
this and they had had a very
00:24:52.82\00:24:56.73
beautiful happy marriage for
over 30 to 35 years maybe and
00:24:56.77\00:25:00.61
she was so devastated. We were
all so concerned. You know what
00:25:00.65\00:25:04.58
she has done now? On Friday
evenings she has opened up her
00:25:04.61\00:25:09.33
home to a vespers program. She
recognized her need for company
00:25:09.37\00:25:14.05
and she started becoming
involved herself and giving help
00:25:14.09\00:25:18.38
to others who had no place
to go. I mean she volunteers for
00:25:18.42\00:25:22.55
potluck teams and she's so
involved in the church now and
00:25:22.59\00:25:26.86
we've watched her blossom,
it's really been wonderful.
00:25:26.90\00:25:31.10
Actually that ties in with our
next therapeutic point, Shelley,
00:25:31.13\00:25:36.18
because it's simply do something
do something. Put your energy
00:25:36.22\00:25:40.32
into something else, whether
it's reaching out to people or
00:25:40.35\00:25:45.17
whether it's a new hobby or
interest but do something to
00:25:45.20\00:25:49.94
get yourself active and involved
because so often you're shutting
00:25:49.98\00:25:54.67
out life, you know, and you're
not participating in life at
00:25:54.71\00:25:59.37
all. Replace loneliness
with love and those all tie in
00:25:59.40\00:26:03.56
together. Okay, you're going
to have to explain that one,
00:26:03.59\00:26:07.71
replace loneliness with love.
00:26:07.75\00:26:08.88
Well, when we're so isolated
and we're so hurting and we're
00:26:08.91\00:26:14.92
nursing those hurts then we're
not reaching out, but as we put
00:26:14.95\00:26:19.22
others before ourselves just
like we read in scripture, think
00:26:19.25\00:26:22.71
of others as more important
than yourselves and we make an
00:26:22.74\00:26:26.69
investment into others and it
may even be a pet for a while.
00:26:26.72\00:26:30.72
The more we begin to invest the
more we can allow ourselves to
00:26:30.76\00:26:35.22
open up those feelings and let
that love begin to flow. So let
00:26:35.25\00:26:39.36
the loneliness begin to express
itself in love and in loving
00:26:39.39\00:26:44.27
ways and actions. I liked your
scripture that you opened with
00:26:44.31\00:26:48.78
today and I'd like to use
that maybe as one of our closing
00:26:48.81\00:26:52.94
scriptures as well that God
takes the lonely and he places
00:26:52.97\00:26:57.47
them in families. God doesn't
want us to be lonely. God is a
00:26:57.51\00:27:01.49
God of relationship and he
wants that personal relationship
00:27:01.52\00:27:05.72
with us and he wants to have
that us have that relationship
00:27:05.76\00:27:09.26
with others. That's what we're
here for, that's what it's all
00:27:09.29\00:27:13.43
about, to interact with each
other and to have fullness of
00:27:13.46\00:27:17.56
joy and fullness of life. Jesus
promises that he will restore
00:27:17.59\00:27:22.15
our soul. In Psalm 23:3 that's
a promise we can cling to; Jesus
00:27:22.18\00:27:27.52
will restore our soul. No matter
how we feel or what we're going
00:27:27.56\00:27:32.86
through Jesus says I will
never leave you or forsake you.
00:27:32.90\00:27:37.25
So even if we think we're alone
there is the promise that Jesus
00:27:37.28\00:27:43.10
will never leave
us or forsake us.
00:27:43.13\00:27:44.69
Derry, we really appreciate you
being here today. Thank you for
00:27:44.72\00:27:48.41
coming. For those of you at home
please look to the Lord and he
00:27:48.44\00:27:52.09
can bring you out
of your loneliness.
00:27:52.12\00:27:53.96
May he richly bless you.
00:27:53.99\00:27:58.32