Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Linda Schulz
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000229
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00:32 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome again to
00:34 Issues and Answers. Do you find yourself 00:36 starved for time, finding difficulty in 00:39 putting boundaries in your life so that you 00:42 have balance in your life? I know I do and I'm 00:45 so glad that we are going to be talking about 00:48 time management today, specifically boundaries 00:52 and balance. Let me share a 00:53 scripture with you, it comes from Ephesians 00:56 chapter 5 and this is verses 15 and 16 from 01:00 the amplified Bible. Listen carefully it says, 01:04 Look carefully then how you walk! 01:07 Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, 01:10 not as the unwise and witless, but is wise. 01:14 Making the very most of the time, 01:16 because the days are evil. The Bible is 01:20 counseling us to consider how we're living our 01:23 lives and we have returning with us today 01:26 someone who has really got a lot of personal 01:32 experience in learning how to develop boundaries 01:36 and gain balance back in her 01:38 life and that is Linda Schultz. 01:40 Linda, thank you so much for coming back all 01:42 the way from Spokane, Washington. 01:45 Now many people know you as the Vice President 01:48 of Transforming Lives for Christ, 01:50 you work with Cynthia Prime, 01:52 we're very thrilled to have you back here 01:55 and let me ask you a question, 01:57 we talked during the last program that you 01:59 were with us a little bit about your 02:01 personal testimony, can you just kind of 02:04 give us that in a nut shell again today for 02:07 people who don't know you. Tell us why gaining, 02:11 learning how to set boundaries and gain 02:14 balance in your life was so important. 02:17 Well, what I found in my life was that I 02:21 had let people provide the control for my life 02:25 rather then Christ and I had detached more 02:29 and more from my relationship and my 02:30 commitment to him and I had increased the 02:34 demands that were coming in from the church. 02:37 I'm a pastor's wife and there was much to 02:39 be done and I love working with people and 02:43 I allowed that to take control. 02:45 But it was after that, that I then discovered 02:49 through the process of becoming so empty because 02:53 I didn't have Christ in my life giving not 02:56 refilling that I ended up going through anger, 02:59 resentment and depression and then coming out 03:01 of that realizing that I had nothing to do with 03:04 this people but the fact that I had lost that 03:06 connection with Christ and was then able to 03:09 reconnect and I would just like to share a text 03:12 here that probably most, I think it very 03:16 realistically states exactly how I felt which 03:20 is Ecclesiastes 2:11, it says then I looked on 03:23 all the works that my hands had wrought, 03:25 and on the labor that I had labored to do; 03:28 and behold, all was vanity and 03:30 vexation of spirit, and there was no profit 03:33 under the sun. Amen, amen. 03:35 It was through that process of coming to 03:39 that and then realizing I was so empty and then 03:44 ending up transitioning, thank the Lord for my 03:49 husband into a good counselor so that 03:51 I could get help that I was then able to put 03:55 aside the demands of society and start 03:59 reconnecting with my savior. Amen. 04:01 And something we learned last time that I 04:03 really appreciated here you were a nurse, 04:06 a mother of two young elementary students, 04:09 a pastor's wife, entertaining in your 04:11 home all the time and what your counselor had you 04:14 do is empty your life of your busyness learn 04:17 how to say no without guilt and come to the 04:21 Lord and learn to rest, that's right, 04:23 and it was beautiful how he led you in all that. 04:27 What, the bottom line was you had time that 04:32 you weren't managing, the Lord wasn't managing 04:35 it was being surrendered to everyone else. 04:37 That's correct, so let's talk about 04:40 today how you learned to set boundaries in your 04:44 life so that you actually ended up 04:47 with balancing. Well I like to address 04:51 probably three areas that we find or and I found 04:54 most distinctly happens when we don't 04:58 manage our time, yeah, and when I say that 04:59 I say that in the context that when I'm talking 05:00 about managed time I'm talking about managed 05:03 time with Christ at the head, Amen, amen. 05:06 Unmanaged time means we aren't in control, 05:09 typically somebody else is in control, 05:12 so one of the first ways we see it is unmanaged 05:15 time surrenders to the demands of all emergencies 05:19 and there's probably not one of us that haven't 05:21 had that time when something comes up 05:23 there is emergencies that take place and we 05:25 feel we are the person for the cause, right, 05:28 and we have to step in where the cure or we got 05:31 in a call and we're supposed to be they 05:37 desperately need us on that committee or an 05:38 emergency has come up and it needs to be, 05:39 their attention needs to be paid now. Amen. 05:42 And you know we forget that the Lord 05:44 is as close as par away from us and we surrender 05:49 too often our time to all these little 05:51 emergencies and I'm reminded of the story of 05:55 Lazarus death, yes. If we want to talk 05:59 about an emergency there was an emergency. 06:02 Lazarus was dying where was Jesus, 06:04 he was told he was to come but Jesus put 06:07 that off and I think it was meant for many 06:10 reasons but I think one of them was to 06:12 demonstrate that we don't have to, 06:14 not every emergency is one that we need to 06:17 respond immediately to because there could be, 06:21 if we are connected with the father there could 06:23 be a reason that we need to wait, 06:25 there could be something else that's going to 06:27 be done in that person's life or on that 06:29 committee where there is another person that 06:31 needs to come into play at that time, Amen, 06:33 that's why we need to be in tune to make sure 06:35 that we aren't always stepping in where 06:38 maybe God doesn't want us. 06:40 You know this is something that what 06:41 you just said strikes me is that often people 06:45 who are gifted or talented are called upon 06:48 particularly in church to say, yes, 06:50 we've got 20 percent of the people who do 06:51 80 percent of the work, that's right and what 06:54 will happen is because you have gotten into 06:58 an habit of doing these type of things, 07:00 stepping in to fill on the committees in 07:02 the board and this, that and the other 07:06 what happens is if you always allow someone 07:09 else to manipulate your time by saying we've 07:11 got to have you, you could actually 07:13 be robbing someone else of that opportunity 07:16 that the Lord may want to raise up in the church, 07:18 that's correct, to stand up there, 07:20 exactly, God does have purposes for us in saying 07:24 no and we should just realize he sees the 07:26 end from the beginning, that's right, 07:28 right we don't. That's right, 07:30 that's right and sometimes it's a process, 07:32 sometimes it's a process in which we need to 07:34 allow maybe whatever is occurring, 07:38 if it's a crises maybe in a family or something 07:40 or someone perceives we need to step 07:43 in right away, so often that's dangerous, 07:45 that is especially dangerous ground to 07:47 go into without making sure that we 07:49 submitted that to God, Amen, 07:51 because those are the kinds of times we 07:53 definitely need his wisdom and discernment 07:55 if we are to be part of that process. 07:57 So we just need to be sure we are connected, 07:59 make sure that if we are to be a part of 08:01 that we have, we're going in his 08:04 strength and in his wisdom and not 08:05 in our own, Amen. And I like what you said 08:07 that its unmanaged time is anytime that he's 08:10 not in control, that's right, 08:11 so what are some of the other things that you 08:13 found about unmanaged time? 08:15 The other thing I noticed is that it gets 08:16 invested in things that gain public acclamation, 08:19 its interesting that we are more likely to give 08:22 our unbudgeted time to events that will bring 08:24 the most immediate and greatest praise. 08:28 Give me some examples of what you are 08:30 talking about? Well, for instance when 08:32 you get the call on the phone and somebody 08:34 wants you to be the chairman of the board, 08:37 the school board let's say, okay, 08:39 well you feel very honored that they would 08:41 consider you for such a position and so often 08:44 what you do is or I found even that I would 08:48 be doing I would be doing is that I would 08:49 look at the position and I start thinking about 08:51 it and think wow that will be fun thing to do. 08:54 I think I could do it and I start thinking 08:57 within myself without including God in 08:59 the conversation, and that's where the 09:02 problem rises because we don't want to go 09:04 anywhere that God doesn't go with us, Amen. 09:07 Because we have to do it in his strength, 09:09 when he commands he enables, 09:11 otherwise we step out of step with him. 09:14 So, one of the things is then if we are looking 09:17 at that public acclamation which we all have that 09:20 tendency to appreciate recognition, 09:24 let's put it that way. So what you're saying is 09:29 time that we are managing ourselves which is 09:30 unmanaged time because God is not in control, 09:31 that's right, we can then go beyond 09:35 where he wants us to be where our life gets 09:38 out of balance then more of these types of 09:40 things that we accept. That's correct, 09:42 that's correct, that's right 09:44 and you know its not a matter of choosing the 09:45 good from the bad it's the matter of choosing 09:48 the best from all of the good and it's a matter 09:53 of including God in that. Keeping him in that 09:56 equation because for the most part we are 10:00 involved in very good things when we take a 10:02 look at our lives, you know we're good people 10:04 we want to do what's right but we become 10:07 overburdened with what we choose to allow come, 10:11 what we choose to allow coming into our lives. 10:16 What can I relate to what you are 10:17 saying right now, so essentially if 10:20 we are not allowing God to manage our time 10:24 what we end up doing is sacrificing our 10:28 time to others, is that correct? 10:30 That's correct, because we either 10:32 choose to give our time to the Lord and work 10:35 with him where we find our joy or we relinquish 10:39 it to others and they are in control and we 10:41 essentially turn our control over to those 10:44 other people. So, so when who do we 10:48 most likely I mean who is the one if we are not 10:50 giving it to God. Who in our life is 10:52 the one that is taking control without 10:54 us recognizing it? Interestingly enough 10:58 dominant people in our world and I think we 11:00 probably all experienced that, 11:02 someone that you get a lot of pressure from that 11:07 you must do this, you are the only 11:09 one that can do this, I need you to do this very 11:12 and we have a sense that we're, 11:15 we feel the pressure of needing to submit 11:18 and to acknowledge that we're willing to do 11:21 whatever it is they would like and you know 11:24 its in those times that we are on very dangerous 11:26 territory because again if we're not submitting 11:30 it to the Lord and making sure it's where he 11:31 wants us to go we are gonna be walking that 11:33 path alone in our own power and that's why 11:38 I love the verse where we are told that Jesus 11:40 stands at the door and he knocks and he wants 11:43 to come in and he wants to dine with us and 11:46 I love because that means He is coming in 11:48 not just to, not just to 11:50 hear about our, not just to come 11:53 into our home, He wants to sit down, 11:54 He wants us to lay before him on a, 11:57 He wants us to lay out before him all of our day 12:00 activities and then He and I together can 12:03 discuss where he wants me, where he can use me 12:06 best and its when we do that, 12:08 that we get accomplished what needs to be done. 12:12 Its been reported that Martin Luther said 12:15 the busier his day was when people would say 12:18 you do not have time for prayer, 12:20 he said the busier my day is the longer I 12:22 take in the morning because the more I know 12:24 I need it and there is a lot of truth in that. 12:27 If you lay it out before the Lord he will order 12:31 your steps and you can count on being 12:35 empowered to do what he is calling you to do 12:38 that day and sometimes I even, 12:39 I prayed for, when I pray for divine 12:41 appointments the Lord always gives me. 12:44 That's right, that's right, 12:45 someone else once said that Jesus went from place 12:48 of prayer to place of prayer and did 12:49 miracles in between, oh! I like that, 12:51 and I love it, I think of it in practical 12:54 life for me today I should be going from 12:57 place to prayer to place to prayer and doing his 12:59 bidding in between, that's beautiful. 13:02 Jesus was and as you have learned the 13:05 perfect role model for time management and you 13:08 mentioned that before the program I'm interested 13:10 to hear in how the Lord has led you and what 13:13 he has taught you from the word? 13:14 He is, he is just beautiful, 13:16 you know that's the beauty of scripture and 13:20 the demonstration of his life because if you 13:22 go back and you look through it you realize 13:24 that he is so well provided for us a role 13:27 model in so many different areas but he did it 13:30 also in time management. One of the first things 13:32 I noticed is that he actually knew 13:35 his own limits. Now I know that comes 13:37 a little bit funny because we don't think of 13:40 Christ in terms of having limits but 13:43 interestingly enough he knew that he had to be 13:46 before his Father in the morning before he go 13:48 forth with His day. He was, 13:50 He could not go out without that connection, 13:54 in fact in Mark 1:35, let me just read 13:57 this for you, Now in the morning, 13:59 having risen a long while before daylight, 14:01 He went out and departed to a solitary place; 14:04 and there He prayed. First thing before 14:07 anything else and what is interesting is the 14:09 verse that follows, And Simon and those 14:12 who were with Him searched for Him. 14:14 Immediately being inundated by the world, 14:17 the needs, the press and they were 14:19 all good things but he always took time first 14:23 of all with his Father so that was important. 14:26 And you know when you speak of the 14:27 limitations even though we don't think about that 14:29 of course as Philippians 2 tells us that he 14:33 limited himself of this glory he took on this 14:35 form of a man, that's right, 14:36 so he did had this same physical limitations, 14:38 that's right that you and I had. 14:40 And he did then have to know that it is, 14:45 as He said He would come apart for a day of rest 14:48 or something He would spend all night in prayer 14:51 to the Lord often but Christ knew his 14:53 limitations as a human being and he knew he had 14:57 to rely totally on his Father didn't he, 14:59 that's right, that's right. 15:00 And I think of some of the wilderness experiences 15:02 that we so often see you know Moses in 15:04 that wilderness, Jesus wilderness experience, 15:07 "Joseph's wilderness experience," 15:11 I always think to myself usually those were 15:14 needed in preparation for the mission 15:17 that God had, yes, so we, 15:19 if we can look at it is a very positive time 15:22 obviously our prayer life is positive. 15:24 The time that we spend with him and 15:25 we get filled, our cup gets filled to 15:28 such a blessing that even those times when 15:30 it feels like we are in drought. 15:32 We need to realize it's diamonds in desert 15:35 during that time, that's good, that's good. 15:37 So, Jesus understood his mission? 15:39 He did, he understood his mission, 15:41 he knew the value of rest, there is an old time 15:46 Italian proverb I love what it says, 15:48 it says where the river is deepest it makes 15:50 the least noise. We're deepened in 15:52 the quiet places, that's beautiful. 15:55 Call back, call back. In Isaiah 30:15, 16:00 another one that falls on that same tone, 16:03 in quietness and in confidence shall 16:05 be our strength. That's actually a verse 16:08 that I used a life verse Isaiah 30:15, 16:11 in the beginning of it says in returning to me 16:14 and resting in me the Lord showed me that that 16:18 was when I celebrated the first Sabbath. 16:21 That was the first time that I got in to 16:24 at resting in God and I mean it was 16:27 beautiful and that was an experience. 16:31 So, we are looking then at the understanding 16:35 our limitations, now Jesus did but 16:40 he also understood his mission, 16:43 he certainly did and you know He was spiritually 16:47 sharpened by His time with His Father and 16:49 then He understood exactly where his Father 16:52 want to send Him. John 5:30, 16:54 let me just give another verse here, 16:56 it says I can of my own self do nothing. 16:59 I seek not my own will, but the will of the 17:02 Father which has sent me. We can only do His will 17:05 if we know Him, Amen, and you know He was never 17:09 held hostage by the demands of the world 17:12 that's what was interesting. 17:13 If you want to talk about something that 17:14 was pressed in from every side with expectations 17:18 that was Jesus. But Jesus chose 17:20 where he went and when he went and that, 17:24 He chose after the Father told him, 17:25 yes, absolutely, absolutely, 17:28 that connection was so, that connection was so 17:32 tight from that time in the morning that he 17:34 spend with him, that when they laid out 17:36 the day he knew where he was to go 17:38 and he knew what he needed to do. 17:41 So what we're trying to point out here is 17:43 that understanding your own limitations helps 17:46 you to put boundaries in your life, 17:49 understanding you mission helps you to 17:51 put boundaries on you life and its all 17:54 we're gonna, all this is coming 17:57 together to help us understand how to 18:00 have balance in our life right, yes, yes. 18:03 So what else did you learn through Jesus? 18:05 Well you know Proverbs 16:9, 18:08 says A man's heart devises his way, 18:11 but the Lord directs his steps, 18:13 yeah. So I think that the important when 18:17 we're talking about balance and boundaries 18:19 I think the very first think I think about is 18:22 connection with Jesus first thing, 18:25 spending that time with him in the word 18:27 and in prayer, what's been beautiful 18:30 about the prayer. What's been beautiful 18:31 about the word is I found that its like 18:32 a open scripture. God know where I'm 18:34 in my walk and its like he takes me right, 18:37 absolutely, right there with 18:38 him in the scripture. I'm so amazed of 18:41 what he gives to me, I come away excited 18:43 because it's like he has laid before me and 18:46 said I understand, I understand where 18:48 you are at, what you have, 18:49 here let me give you some valuable thoughts. 18:53 And Linda it is over and over again no matter 18:55 who we're talking with, when they're in 18:57 the word that everyone's experience, 18:59 this word is inexhaustible, it is you cannot wear 19:03 it out but God always meets you where your need 19:06 is and that's where he speaks to you from 19:08 that point, yes, its amazing. 19:10 It is, its for me I can't help myself, 19:13 I get so excited, I have to run say Clinton 19:16 look what he gave me today because it is so 19:19 exciting to see what he does. 19:22 And you know the other thing I think about 19:23 when I think about balance and boundaries is that 19:26 things can come in that we don't have 19:28 planned or that we don't anticipate but it's 19:30 something that God has planned for the day. 19:33 And I remember once specific incident when I 19:35 was in the middle of the day that 19:37 was unbelievable, I had so much on 19:39 my plate I had no idea how it's gonna get done 19:41 and I got a call in the middle of the day and 19:43 it was an individual a woman that had called and 19:47 said well she was crying and she said I really 19:50 need to talk, I need to talk 19:51 to someone and my immediate response 19:54 I'm very type A I see what my plate is, 19:56 so let's see if we can you know is that something 19:59 that needs to be done now or may we could do 20:01 it in an hour or two if you seek my mind 20:03 was functioning like that. This is well I said is 20:06 this something that we need that you would 20:07 like for me to you would like to come over and 20:10 we can talk now or is this something that maybe 20:11 I could talk with you a little bit later 20:13 about and boy, the Lord rebuked 20:15 to me and he said no its now and so I 20:19 immediately said, you know what, 20:20 I said forget that I said you come over, 20:23 I said lets spend some time in prayer and in 20:25 talking and so she came over and I bet she 20:28 was there probably two to three hours out of 20:29 my day and I thought to myself when I got done 20:32 with it I felt so at peace and so grateful that 20:36 God could use me and so grateful for the peace 20:39 that it brought to her and I said Lord, 20:42 you just reminded me this day is about you and 20:45 so whatever I get done today is what you 20:47 intended from me to get done, 20:49 absolutely because I've followed your 20:52 direction so, when I got done with 20:54 my day and I looked over my day exactly what 20:56 needed to be accomplished was 20:58 nothing more, nothing less. 21:00 And you know something that I'm trying to really 21:03 grasp in my own life because I have a tendency 21:06 to be a workaholic, the Lord led me out 21:09 of that and I was really had a lot of balance 21:14 in my life for a number of years, 21:15 now I'm finding that I'm struggling to maintain 21:19 balance again and something that I've found 21:22 though is that the work never gets done, 21:24 that's right. Sometimes we just 21:26 have to if God gives you a divine appointment 21:29 or something comes up maybe it's a divine 21:31 appointment with a child, your child, 21:33 that's right, that needs you. 21:35 You just have to let realize that sometimes 21:39 even I'm beginning to see some things that I 21:42 think were just, are so critical to get 21:44 done they don't and yet life goes 21:47 on without them. That's right and 21:49 interestingly enough that's why if 21:51 it's God's agenda, the important things will, 21:55 the rest of them obviously can wait. 21:58 And it really does bring perspective back 22:01 into my life, because before I 22:03 would have been run by that whole agenda for my 22:07 day and felt that okay now I'm going to be up 22:09 till midnight trying to complete my work. 22:11 But that's not all at all what happens; 22:14 the other thing I love is because in balance 22:16 and in boundaries he brings us peace, Amen. 22:19 And lets for the purpose of our viewing audience 22:23 and listening audience lets describe what we're 22:26 talking about when we say balance. 22:29 Balance is interesting isn't it because when 22:32 you look at it it's like you have a plate full 22:37 of things to be done and a lot of times what 22:40 happens is the weight on one side gets much 22:43 heavier than the weight on the other side 22:46 and so how I think of balance is that I 22:50 have on one side God's priorities and I have 22:53 on the other side the demands of the world and 22:57 what I assume might need to get done. 23:00 And what I do is when I wake up in 23:03 the morning and I spend that time with 23:04 him he takes his and mine combines them and makes 23:09 it balanced, that's good. 23:12 And then that way I know I'm doing his bidding 23:16 and that might mean that some of these things 23:18 that are over here initially aren't there 23:20 when we get done with our time together. 23:23 And sometimes we have to remember too that 23:25 balance means that for example one area I'm 23:28 out of balance in my life right now 23:29 is in exercise. Everything crowd out 23:34 anytime to exercise and I know that my 23:37 body is the temple of the living God, 23:38 I know I should be exercising but my 23:41 schedule is so jam packed there is no 23:44 time for that. So being balanced 23:47 means to be balanced in your home life, 23:50 your work life, your mission work, 23:52 your exercise and taking care of yourself 23:56 and rest, there is all 23:57 of these areas that again I keep referring 24:01 to the juggling balls that we have, 24:03 but we need to keep them in balance and 24:05 as you said, I like the way 24:07 you said it because when I tell people for 24:10 me if it's not under God's control its all out 24:12 of balance, that's right, 24:14 so that's wonderful. Yes, and I appreciate 24:17 what you just brought up because it is so 24:18 important that we remember that we have to take 24:21 care of our bodies, its an important part 24:23 because if we don't take care of our bodies 24:25 we will not be able to work for Jesus. 24:28 And so he's given us, you know, 24:29 we know that we need to be temperament 24:32 in all things, we need to 24:33 have our rest and we need to be able to have 24:36 good diet because right now there's so many 24:40 times when people aren't even, 24:41 we're not even getting the meals we 24:42 need and the nutrition we need. 24:44 And we really need to also make time have 24:48 adequate time for those who are closest to us, 24:52 yes, which often that's what all the demands and 24:55 the pressures you find parents who are finding 24:57 they're not having quality time with their 24:59 children and you find couples who you have 25:03 become strangers but that's one thing you see 25:06 about Jesus is he always took time for those 25:09 around Him to teach them didn't he. 25:11 Yes he did, he disciple them and 25:14 he didn't feel that, he didn't have the 25:16 great need to think that he could do it 25:19 to everyone, everywhere. It was those who were 25:21 closest to Him, He took a few he 25:24 mentored them, he disciple them. 25:27 He still fed the 5000, he still did his healing 25:31 but he discipled and mentored those closest to 25:34 him and he spend time and that's another 25:37 important part because as we give its important 25:40 that we also as we receive, 25:43 its also important that we give back and 25:46 mentoring others spiritually and what a 25:51 blessing it enlivens our life and it provides a 25:55 blessing and a foundation for 25:56 someone else, Amen, Amen. 25:59 So what are some of the practical ways that you 26:02 are keeping balance? You go before the 26:04 Lord and it's easy to start off that way, 26:07 but how are you keeping balance, 26:09 how do you draw boundaries in your life. 26:12 We've got just about a minute left, 26:14 tell me some of the very particles things you do? 26:17 One of the important things that I've added 26:18 into my life there is important news, 26:21 I've added my exercise program in, okay, 26:23 and I found as a result to that I actually feel 26:26 better and I can accomplish more. 26:29 First thing Christ, second thing I've 26:32 is my exercise, I'm trying, 26:33 I'm still working on the issue of being very 26:36 balanced on my meals but I'm also balancing 26:40 out I think everything just is encompassed 26:45 with my relationship with Jesus and day by 26:48 day it's in that connection and 26:50 allowing him to speak to me that I'm then able 26:53 to go forth and he gives me that balance 26:56 in all of these areas because any one area can 26:58 become out of balance easily, 27:00 easily and it happens and it is, 27:04 I know I'm gonna confront that again and again 27:07 but its something that I know where to go 27:09 now to be fed. Well I know change can 27:13 throw you out of balance as you go through 27:15 different changes and that we have ran out of 27:18 time for today but I thank you so much for 27:20 being with us again and I just want to talk 27:23 to you at home, to really watch how God 27:27 is leading you get up in the morning ask Him 27:30 to lead and to give you balance to teach 27:34 you how to draw boundaries in your life 27:36 because you will be so much happier if you 27:39 do and now until the next time, 27:41 may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ the love 27:45 of the Father and the fellowship of the 27:47 Holy Spirit be with you. And I hope you 27:49 will be joining us again when Linda Schultz 27:52 comes back for our next program. 27:54 Thank you so much. |
Revised 2014-12-17