Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Linda Schulz
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000228
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00:32 Hello I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome
00:34 again to Issues And Answers, 00:36 I'll bet that you are like me. 00:39 You'll find yourself as a time starved person. 00:42 Well, today is a program that you will not want 00:45 to miss, we're gonna be talking about pressures 00:48 and possibilities and how to go from 00:51 the pressure cooker of expectations to the 00:54 possibilities God holds out to us in life. 00:57 And before I introduce our special guest, 01:00 I want to share a scripture with you it comes from 01:02 Psalms 90 and verse 12 and the Psalmist wrote, 01:07 teach us to number our days that we may get 01:12 us a heart of wisdom, amen to that. 01:16 So what I want to do now is introduce to you 01:19 the Vice President of Transforming Lives For Christ 01:22 and she comes to us from Spokane, 01:25 Washington Linda Schultz. Hi Shelley. 01:28 Linda, thank you so much for joining us. 01:30 Now this is not your first time on 3ABN. 01:34 No, this is the second. 01:36 Okay, you were here for the women of spiritual praise. 01:38 Yes. And did you do a Today Program. That's correct. 01:42 I thought you have. Yes. Oh! We're just so glad 01:44 that you are back with us and I know that you 01:46 and Cynthia Prime worked hand in hand together 01:49 and have a beautiful ministry. 01:51 We're really appreciative for that. 01:53 You are here today we're gonna start off 01:56 with a few in this series and you're gonna be talking 01:59 to us and sharing with us 02:01 a little of your personal testimony. 02:04 But let me kind of get you started here, 02:07 first of all I would like to know did you grow up 02:10 in the church and if so when did your relationship 02:15 or your relationship with the Lord go from being just 02:19 religion into a real intimate personal relationship. 02:24 That's an interesting question because it was 02:27 quite a transition and probably 02:30 occurred over a period of time. 02:32 To begin with my mother was a Christian 02:35 and my father was not and I praised the Lord, 02:37 both of them are today. Amen. But so, I grew up 02:42 in a divided home as far as Christianity 02:45 for a period of time, however I went 02:48 to our schools for the most part and. 02:51 And when you say our school. Our Christians schools 02:54 excuse me and then but I also participated and was 02:57 went to public school for some of my education. 03:02 Then I went on to our Christian high school 03:06 which was wonderful and. 03:08 Now was this the Adventist Church that you were, 03:10 schools that you were going to? Yes. Okay. 03:11 Yes, and I really enjoy that period of time because 03:15 it allowed me a lot of time of fellowship 03:17 with other Christians. So that was very, very special 03:20 and then as I went on to college, 03:24 I did part of my college at our Christian college 03:26 and then in part at a community college 03:29 and finished my degree. 03:30 And then went on and married my husband, 03:33 who is a pastor and so I went into pastoring. 03:37 And I love people so that was a wonderful 03:41 transformation and I've always loved the Lord. 03:43 But I really believe that my personal relationship 03:46 with Christ took place when he took me 03:50 through this journey of understanding 03:52 what he holds out to me in my life. 03:54 And what he wants for me and not necessarily 03:57 all the things I put in it. Amen, 04:00 now let me back up just a moment, 04:02 I believe you are a nurse, right? That's correct. 04:05 So you're you got your degree in nursing 04:07 and now you're working, you're married to a pastor, 04:10 you became a mother of two beautiful children. Yes. 04:14 And you have all of these elements in your life, 04:20 all of these factors that are pulling on you for time. 04:23 As well as being a pastor's wife I am sure 04:27 that we can all imagine I think being a pastor, 04:30 it is a very difficult job being a pastor's wife 04:32 can be even more difficult in that 04:35 you're being pulled in many directions, 04:37 you hear many things that you cannot repeat 04:39 and there's only one person that you can 04:41 take these things to and share it. That's right. 04:43 It's either your husband or the Lord, 04:44 so what did you find here you've got this background 04:50 but you don't really have that intimate 04:53 personal relationship with the Lord yet. 04:55 Set this up for us, what was going on in your life 04:59 with all of these many demands? 05:01 What's real interesting, I seem to know I had 05:04 a sense of what I should be doing and I thought 05:06 that was God's will, what the problem 05:09 was as I wasn't taking that to him. 05:12 I didn't have that personal relationship 05:13 I would get my time with him became hit 05:17 and miss so to speak, some days 05:19 I can have it many days I wouldn't. 05:21 But I was very faithful about my time 05:23 with the children and their relationship with Jesus. 05:26 I was very faithful about the committees 05:28 and doing what I needed to do within the church 05:30 and of course what's interesting is 05:32 I was busy about much good. Yes. 05:36 So it wasn't that I was doing bad things 05:40 and that's what to me I understood 05:42 I was doing and working for the Lord. 05:45 Because look at all these good things. Amen. 05:47 So I became you know I was on the school board, 05:51 I was the pastor's wife, I had the two children 05:56 that were young, I had also decided 05:59 to go back to school to get, complete 06:01 a degree in healthcare administration. 06:03 And all and then I was working part time 06:07 and all of these multitude of things came into play. 06:10 Well as long as everything was functioning alright 06:13 I didn't realize my great need. 06:16 But when trials came then it started to fall 06:21 apart because I didn't have the strength. 06:23 I didn't have the power, see it wasn't about me, 06:27 it was about God and consequently 06:30 what happened was these people who I loved, 06:33 I now started to resent, because I felt 06:37 it was expectations from them that made 06:40 it impossible for me to meet. 06:42 I couldn't meet their expectations. Okay. 06:45 So things started falling apart 06:46 and they started to unravel and the people 06:49 that I loved I started to resent. 06:51 I couldn't see past my hurt to my heart anymore. Yes. 06:56 I became angry and then depression set in. 06:59 And that's a real normal course of thing 07:02 and it happened not suddenly but over a course 07:04 of several years actually for that to occur. 07:07 And I became very, very dissatisfied 07:10 and very, very unhappy and the depression 07:12 became deeper and I was able to cope at work 07:15 but when I come home I wasn't able to make decisions. 07:17 I came to the place that I could put a smile 07:20 on my face and I could go to church 07:21 and when I came home I was exhausted, 07:22 it was all I could do. Are you saying you were just 07:26 so fragmented that it got to that point 07:30 where you know sometimes we can handle 07:32 a multitude of things it seems that 07:35 we can kind of keep all of these balls in the air 07:38 for a certain amount of time and then one day 07:40 you wake up and feel that your life you recognize. 07:44 You're so fragmented that and you have 07:46 so many responsibilities. 07:48 It was the sense that I don't know what to do first 07:51 and that's why you couldn't make a decision, 07:52 there's all of these demands. 07:54 You know you have put your time into the hands 07:57 of others, they're controlling your time. 07:59 That's correct. So that's how you were feeling. 08:02 That's exactly right and then when I started 08:04 to not be able to meet all the expectations 08:07 and I realized I was coming back. 08:09 Because my source of strength 08:12 wasn't with my Savior, it was within. 08:15 Then the resentment started building 08:18 because I thought how dare they, 08:20 do they have any idea how much I am doing? 08:22 Do can't they see that my plate is more than full, 08:26 can't they tell that I am you know some 08:29 of the complaints that would come back you know 08:30 that I am doing actually what they're saying I am not. 08:33 And I was looking see that's a thing my eyes 08:36 were no longer on Christ, my eyes were on the people 08:38 and that's the problem. I needed to be looking 08:42 upward, that's where my focus 08:44 needed to be and it wasn't there. 08:45 So I started to go down and under. 08:48 You know Linda I believe that there is probably 08:50 a lot of people who are watching right now that can 08:53 identify with what you had going on in your life. 08:57 Let me ask you do you feel that did you have 09:00 a difficult time saying no? What set this up? 09:03 You had obviously you were brought up in a Christian 09:08 religion and you had this knowledge of God 09:10 at sometime you had that time you were spending 09:13 with the Lord, kept accepting more and more 09:15 responsibilities but you're just unable to say no 09:18 and that started grabbing your time from the Lord 09:20 or how did this get setup that way. 09:22 Isn't that interesting, obviously I became 09:25 a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser. Okay. 09:28 I ended up and then when I found that I couldn't 09:31 do that when people would ask me to do certain things 09:34 I was very accepting of them because I thought 09:37 oh yes that would be fun I would enjoy 09:39 doing that again I would be involved with people. 09:41 I forgot to take it to my Savior 09:43 to see what he wanted. Yes. 09:44 Lord, is this what you want me to include 09:46 in my life instead I was putting it into my life. 09:50 And the more I put in the heavier the burden 09:54 became and then it just mounted and that bag 09:57 that I was carrying on my back, that burden 10:00 became so heavy I could no longer carry it. 10:03 And that's when I started to become very angry, 10:06 very discouraged and that's when I realized 10:09 I can't meet their expectations but instead 10:13 of it had nothing to do with those people whatsoever. 10:17 It had everything to do with the fact 10:19 that I didn't have my priority straight. 10:20 And Christ was getting squeezed out of the picture. 10:24 You know once the Lord gave me this I believe, 10:28 he said that if you want to keep a finger 10:30 on your spiritual pulse, then what you need to do 10:34 is check how much time you're spending 10:36 in the Bible and in prayer. That's correct. 10:39 If you're not in the word and you're not in prayer, 10:41 you're gonna start being spiritually weak. 10:44 And what's you were doing is what I mean 10:47 we can all identify with this in particularly 10:49 anyone who is in ministry. 10:50 You were doing the good and sacrificing the best. 10:54 That's right. Okay, so. That's right. 10:56 What happened I mean when this started you found 10:59 yourself starting to become resentful, 11:03 angry and then getting into depression. 11:06 What, did your husband recognize this right away? 11:09 Actually he could tell something was happening 11:12 but he didn't know what it was, until one day 11:16 when I walked into his office and I said, I said 11:19 I love the Lord but I said I can't handle this anymore, 11:25 so you need to make a choice. 11:27 It's either me or the church you can't have them both. 11:29 Oh! I couldn't handle it any further. 11:32 It was too much and bless his heart he said to me, 11:37 he said Linda he says if I get you a good Christian 11:41 counselor he said would you be willing to go? 11:43 And I said that would be fine, I don't really care. 11:48 I was to the point where nothing mattered anymore. 11:51 And you know, there is. How old were your children. 11:55 My children were in elementary school 11:56 at that time and I kept this very, very private. 11:59 There were two or three close friends that I had 12:03 because I need a prayer partner 12:06 and I needed support through this. 12:07 And to this day I listen them up I am so grateful 12:11 to the Lord for them but the other person 12:13 that will have a star I believe in his crown for me, 12:16 from me is the counselor that I was sent to. 12:19 There is such a benefit to a good Christian 12:23 counselor when we needed. Yes. 12:24 And he helped remove the busyness in my life. 12:27 Helped me focus on my Lord again. Amen. 12:32 And then helped me regain who I as a person was 12:35 and I am today, so he changed all of that 12:39 but it was very difficult road I had to give 12:42 up everything and I had to start from scratch because 12:45 see all of those things I had they were there 12:48 for all the wrong reasons and that's not 12:51 what God has us to do. He wants it to be 12:54 for the right reason and when He puts it in place 12:56 and He gives the submission then when He commands 13:00 He enables. Exactly. So provides us our strengths, 13:03 he gives us what we need for the day; 13:05 he gives us wisdom, discernment certainly 13:09 not but I had at that point. 13:10 But he puts all of those things in place if I stay 13:14 connected and it takes me back to Hebrews 13:17 where he says you know that Jesus 13:19 is the author and the finisher of our faith. Amen. 13:22 We need to be looking unto Jesus. Amen. 13:24 And we need to be doing that every single day. Amen. 13:27 And we have to remember 2nd Corinthians 12:9 13:30 that His grace is sufficient, 13:32 His power is made perfect in our weakness. 13:35 So, if we're trying to live our lives in our own 13:39 limited human power we're in pitiful condition. 13:42 Exactly. If we're not drawing on the power 13:45 of his spirit and walking in his power 13:48 then where we are in a difficult situation, 13:51 that's right. So what was it for you I mean 13:54 when you first you've recognize the problem 13:57 some what I mean you didn't identify the problem 14:01 correctly you were just saying 14:02 it's the church I will need that. 14:04 You cannot be a pastor anymore but you know 14:06 you've got a problem, you go to this Christian 14:09 counselor what how many sessions did you take with him 14:14 before you realized, hey I've let everyone else 14:18 control my life except the Lord, 14:21 what was the turning point for you? 14:23 Was there a catalyst? 14:25 I think one of the most wonderful things was for me, 14:29 he was able to allow me to spell out you know 14:33 I think in terms of medicine, you know medical. 14:35 When you have an infection and sometimes 14:38 that infection is underneath the surface, 14:40 sometimes it has to be excised and it has to be 14:44 released before it can be cleansed, 14:46 all of that garbage had to be gotten out. 14:49 So it provided an opportunity to get it out 14:52 in a safe environment where it was going no where 14:55 else except to the Lord and then he removed it. 14:59 It kind of got put on that scape goat and taken out. 15:02 Yes. I didn't have to deal with that anymore 15:05 and then the healing process could be started 15:07 and it was after I was able to get it out probably 15:11 after several sessions and to remove 15:13 what was in my heart the anger, the resentment, 15:16 then I could see clear enough and the Lord provided me 15:20 I believe that insight to start seeing 15:22 what took me there and why it was there. 15:25 And then it didn't have to do with the people, 15:28 it had to do with the fact that I had relinquished 15:31 control over my life to somebody else. 15:32 And that is a dangerous territory. Yes it is. 15:35 Dangerous territory ther is only one person 15:38 you can do that to and that is Jesus. Amen. 15:40 That is it. So did this counselor, 15:44 now when we talk about Christian counseling 15:47 typically these are counselors who will use 15:51 the Bible as their guide and they're going 15:54 to be giving you scriptural counsel 15:55 and pointing you back to the Lord. 15:57 What tools did he use to help you come along in this? 16:03 I think part of it was that he removed again 16:06 he removed from me the busyness of life, 16:09 had me start reconnecting with Jesus. 16:11 But explain what you say; when you say 16:13 he removed from you the busyness of life 16:15 explain what you're saying to me? 16:17 I actually had to resign from offices. Okay. 16:21 I stopped my entertaining because we used 16:23 to have lots of people in and in fact it was not 16:27 uncommon that we had people actually 16:28 staying at our house. All right. 16:29 That needed to be there we had to start all that, 16:32 my home became what I would say a sanctuary 16:34 it was a place where it was a haven I could come, 16:37 I can spend time with the Lord, 16:39 I had my family there but as far as the busyness 16:41 of entertaining and having people over, 16:44 we removed that for just a time until we can heal, 16:47 okay, and the offices had to stop, 16:51 I had to back up, I had to reconnect. 16:54 And then when we started to put things back 16:58 in the place we did it very carefully, 17:01 prayerfully and making sure 17:04 it's what God wanted in place. 17:05 And not just what man wanted in place. 17:08 Okay so the counselor now has he's prescribed 17:11 first you have to remove the busyness, 17:14 resign from many of these positions; 17:17 you're over burdened, over scheduled and make 17:21 your home a place that is sanctuary of safe haven 17:25 rather than this all this busyness 17:27 that entertaining for the time. 17:29 What was the next thing that he prescribed for you? 17:32 Well we went through that took a quite a process 17:35 because we not only had to do with that 17:38 but we had to deal with other things in my life 17:40 such as the guilt of saying no that was extremely 17:45 difficult and he prepared me for that he said 17:47 you have to learn to say no and he said 17:49 when you're saying no he said you're gonna 17:51 feel guilty and then this is what 17:53 I want you to know is it down the road. 17:55 Pretty soon you're gonna be feeling guilty 17:57 that you no longer feel guilty. 17:58 It was quite a cycle but what was interesting 18:01 was I did cycle through all of that because you see 18:05 guilt means that you're doing something wrong. 18:07 The guilt we carry over saying no is actually 18:11 a false guilt but unless it's Jesus asking us 18:16 to do something and we choose not. 18:18 Well I think somebody out here, 18:20 you will need to repeat that again because 18:22 I think particularly with women I know 18:25 I have a difficult time saying no especially you know 18:29 people will say you're the only one that can do this. 18:31 That's right you know its your talent your guilt 18:34 or something you're the only one, 18:35 we know you can do this and then to say no 18:38 you feel like you are really not only not meeting 18:43 their expectations but that you are letting them 18:45 down in such a major way that there is a boy 18:48 that will not be filled, may be that's his false 18:50 sense of pride there, but you're saying that the guilt, 18:54 repeat what you just said, that's a false guilt. 18:57 That's a false guilt. Guilt means you've done 18:59 something wrong, if you are turning down 19:02 something the Lord is asking you to do. 19:04 That is guilt but if you are turning down something 19:07 that man has only asked you to do that is a false 19:11 guilt and we need to separate that out 19:14 and we need to be very aware and assured of what, 19:18 why we're doing what we're doing, 19:20 and whether it's what God's calling us to do? 19:22 Or just what man is calling us to. 19:24 So when someone asks you something today 19:26 and sometimes God does speak through other people 19:29 or he may direct someone toward us. 19:31 Absolutely. How do you handle that to know 19:34 whether you're gonna say yes or no? 19:35 One of the things I've learned in fact 19:37 it's something that I have definitely been using 19:42 a lot lately is that when I have been asked 19:45 I say let me pray about it and I'll get back with you. 19:48 Okay. It gives me time, a lot of times 19:51 we also are very spontaneous and impulsive 19:54 and we will make decisions out of that. 19:57 That's scary, when we have time to put it before 20:02 the Lord, spend time to think it through, 20:04 spend time to look at the schedule 20:08 we have before us and listen to his voice 20:10 because you know John 10:27 says 20:14 my sheep listen to my voice, 20:15 I know them and they follow me. Amen. 20:18 So when we take the time to connect with him, 20:22 we will hear his voice and we will know 20:24 if it's of God and if it's where we need to be 20:27 and if it's not we don't want to be there 20:29 because then we're doing it in our strength 20:31 and not His. So when I want to that was such 20:36 a great statement there and I want to back up 20:39 just a moment though because we've read yourself 20:41 at the busyness, you're learning to say no 20:44 so that you don't refill that schedule 20:46 but really what happened to you is you had given 20:52 and given and given till the world went dry. 20:55 That's correct. I mean you were empty, 20:57 what did you do, what did your Christian counselor 21:01 have you do, what steps did you take to reconnect 21:05 with Christ and to be filled again? 21:08 Rest. Rest. Rest. Rest both physically and spiritually 21:16 and there is nothing more beautiful 21:18 then when you spend time resting in Jesus. 21:21 And how do you do that for somebody 21:23 that might be watching that says 21:25 I don't know what is she talking about? 21:27 You know it's real interesting it came in many forms, 21:30 I remember many long walks and just communicating 21:34 with the Lord as I would walk because sometimes 21:38 we find ourselves thinking that we have to spend 21:40 an hour in the word or we have to spend 21:42 this much time praying or whatever it is but you know 21:45 when we are told to pray without ceasing, 21:47 I think that means that we are in a relationship 21:50 of communication with Jesus. Amen. 21:51 Whatever that is and so we're able to spend time 21:54 in the word, we are able to spend time in good 21:57 Christian literature, we are able to spend time 22:00 going on a walk and getting refreshed, 22:02 we are able to get rest for our bodies 22:04 so that we can think properly because a lot of times 22:07 with all of this comes very little rest time. 22:11 And you know I don't know the statistics on it 22:14 but I heard recently that when we get a depleted 22:17 amount of rest and we're not getting 22:21 the number of hours we sleep need. 22:22 It's the equivalent of having so many 22:25 alcoholic drinks. Yes and that's scary. Yes. 22:28 Because then we can't make good intelligent decision, 22:33 we also I believe are not gonna be into what 22:37 Christ is trying to tell us and teach us. Amen. 22:40 So we have to get a physical rest and if our 22:44 schedule is so full that we're living on 22:46 4 to 5 hours a day I have to sometimes question 22:49 is that what God's calling us to. Amen. 22:51 And we need to be on our knees before Him 22:53 I am not saying that there are times that we're 22:56 pushed beyond because he has a mission, 22:58 he has something he needs to accomplish 23:00 but I think He provides us energy for that. 23:02 I don't think He expects us to live on it. Amen, amen. 23:06 So that's the physical rest, 23:08 what's the spiritual rest that you're talking about? 23:11 The spiritual rest was that communion with Him, 23:14 interestingly enough I found that it came in 23:18 bits and pieces because I was so. 23:20 Dry. Dry I was so dry but it's kind of like taking 23:26 a emaciated person and giving him a huge meal 23:28 and expecting them to eat it all. Yeah. 23:30 You can't do it. So it was piece by piece, 23:33 small amounts of time by small amounts of time 23:36 and I found it divided through the day, 23:38 those talks that I would have through the day 23:41 as I was cleaning the house as I was talking to Jesus. 23:44 As I was out on my walk so I was talking to Jesus, 23:46 as I was sitting down with my children 23:48 and the word wasn't just, I wasn't sitting down 23:51 with them to just feed them anymore. 23:53 I was sitting down and feeding me 23:54 out of those stories. It took on a new dimension 23:58 for me. So is this that point in your life 24:02 it sounds like to me anyway that you've learned 24:05 how to surrender to God, to surrender control 24:08 of your life to the Lord and then he begin 24:12 to lift you up. That's right, that's right. 24:15 And when He does then you come forth 24:18 with renewed strength. Yes. 24:20 And renewed energy and actually He is the one 24:24 that provides the ability to say no and to start 24:28 feeling comfortable with knowing you have 24:30 limitations, you have boundaries. 24:32 You have balances that needs 24:33 to be present in your life. 24:35 And what do you mean by balance? 24:37 Balance is a really difficult word. 24:40 Yes, well I hope you'll come back 24:43 and talk to us about that. I was going to say, 24:44 I do we have a session we'll do on 24:47 balance and boundaries. Wonderful. 24:49 But it is a matter of trying to find those parameters 24:53 that we work within that are Christ given. 24:56 Linda, I'm just so glad that you're here to share 24:59 this today but let me ask you one more question. 25:01 As the Lord is leading you and I believe 25:06 he led through your husband and put the. 25:08 Praise the Lord that you had a Christian counselor 25:10 to go through, praise the Lord that you had 25:12 a husband who is wise up to send you there. Yes. 25:15 Because now your husband is still in ministry, 25:18 you're still a pastor's wife so worked all of a 25:21 sudden and you are now ministering from a full up. 25:25 You've learned how to draw on the Lord. 25:28 Were there are any other resources that you used 25:31 other than the Bible, was there anything 25:33 that particularly spoke to you to help you 25:36 really recognize your problem? 25:40 As far as where I had gotten 25:45 at that point of time I think it was. 25:49 Books that were helpful or anything like that? 25:50 No, because I had pretty much, I didn't had time. 25:53 Okay. I was just so empty but I do wanna share 25:56 a text if I can, because it was one that I had 25:59 never seen before, Galatians 1:10, 26:02 "for do I now persuade men or God 26:05 or do I seek to please men, for if I yet please men 26:09 I should not be the servant of Christ." Amen. 26:13 Boy was that an eye opener. Amen. 26:16 And it was a refresher to me to let me know 26:19 Linda don't go there its all about me just stay 26:23 with me because if you are wearing 26:27 a yolk that is too heavy. 26:29 I've got to ask you who asked you to carry it? 26:32 Because Christ says mine is light. 26:35 And we're all yoked in service it's just 26:39 if we're not yoked to Jesus, whatever else 26:42 we're yoked to is a yolk of bondage isn't it? Right. 26:45 And so that is where the Lord has let you 26:49 out of that bondage, who's cut you free 26:51 from the cord of the wicked that was binding you 26:53 and now you have a very full life 26:57 but one that's controlled by his direction. 27:01 Praise the Lord. Amen. 27:03 Linda, thank you so much for being here 27:05 and I am glad that you're gonna be coming back 27:07 because you know God has what he has taught you 27:10 and the comfort he has bought you, 27:12 now he is sending you out to comfort others 27:15 with the same comfort that he has given you. Amen. 27:17 Oh! It's wonderful, you know I hope for you 27:20 at home that you've learned something 27:21 from this and I hope that you're going to pray 27:24 Psalm 90 verse 12 that if you wanna learn 27:27 how to go from the pressure cooker of expectation 27:30 of the world into the possibilities of how God 27:34 can lead you and what he can do for you. 27:36 Pray and teach us to number our days 27:39 that we may get us a heart of wisdom. 27:42 Now may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, 27:45 the love of the Father and the fellowship of the 27:48 Holy Spirit be with you today and everyday. 27:52 Please join us again next time. |
Revised 2014-12-17