Hello, I'm Shelley
Quinn, and welcome again to
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Issues and Answers.
Today we're going to be
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talking about
foundations for Christian homes,
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and how to build
up that foundation.
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The Bible says in Joshua
24:15: "Choose you this day"
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"whom you will serve.
As for me and my house,"
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"we will serve the Lord.
" And we have back with us,
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returning for, this has been
several times you've been back,
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but we're just really thrilled
to have Carolyn and Paul Rayne
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from Restoration
International joining us again.
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- Thank you. - Oh, it's a joy.
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Tell us a little bit, for those
who haven't seen you before
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what is Restoration
International all about.
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Restoration International is
just a small family ministry,
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4 families in actual
fact, with a real burden
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to communicate to
people all over the world
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the need to take the
knowledge that we have
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of God and make it practical,
make it work in the home,
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make it come alive in
the marriage, in the raising
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of the children, in
our interactions with those
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around us.
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So just bringing Jesus
into the life rather than just
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- into the head. -
And how do you go about
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accomplishing
this in your ministry?
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Well, Restoration International
travels all over the US
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and around the
world. Probably our flagship
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are the family camp meetings,
they run from Wednesday
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through to Sunday, 7 locations
annually around the US,
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and several overseas in Europe
and down in the Philippines.
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There we seek to bring the
people apart from the busyness
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of everyday life and
really focus on what it means
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to be a Christian personally in
our marriage, in our families,
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and then, also we have church
seminars around the country
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and around the world;
not just my wife and I,
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we have Tom and Alane
Waters in our ministry also,
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who travel extensively,
and Edwin and Maria Nebblett
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with their young people,
they travel and their whole
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- family speaks. - Wonderful.
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Well, I know that you've
been here before, and we've been
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discussing some great issues.
Today what we want to talk about
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is "Foundations for
Family Living", and actually,
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as young as Paul and Carolyn
look, they've been married
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18 years. You
cradle robber, you!
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[Everyone laughs]
Well, if I told you how old
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she was when I married
her, and somebody wanted to do
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the math then they would
figure out that we're no spring
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chickens.
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I think it's Satan's Nr. 1 ploy
to ruin families because that's
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what the church is made
up of, the church is a family
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made up of smaller units
of families, so it seems to me
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that families are very
much under attack today.
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What would you say, as
practical advice to those
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who are out there looking
to strengthen their family
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relationships.
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We try to speak not just
from what we've read in a book,
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but from what we have found
to be applicable and working
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for us practically in our
family and one thing that we
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have really found that
ties our family together,
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it's a foundation of a
family we believe, is daily,
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and I want to underscore that
word "daily", family worship.
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Not that we're worshipping
the family, but it's a time
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in the morning before we set
off into the busyness of the day
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to come together as a
family, read a Scripture or two
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from God's word, maybe
sing some songs together,
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and certainly pray together, but
just the time to come together
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as a family, and share
what we're going to be doing
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in the day. It
kind of ties a knot,
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and we seek to do that at
the end of the day as well.
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Often times in a family
dad's out the door because
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he's got to be at work by
6, and mom's had a late night,
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so she hasn't surfaced
yet. We have found that if we
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all make the effort bright
and early, spend some time
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with the Lord individually
and then have family worship,
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it's been a great
blessing to our family.
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It's something that maybe seems
so small, "How can that be such"
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"a blessing?", I
encourage our viewers, try it,
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and you'll know
what we speak of.
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We discussed this on an
earlier program about your
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personal devotional time
and how you all handle this.
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We're going to look at
this again, and maybe cover some
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other aspects because
we're looking at the family
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as a unit, and it
really is true, the old axiom
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that the family that
prays together stays together.
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What are some of the practical
things for our viewers,
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I'm going to start with you
Carolyn, you have 2 children,
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7 and a half, and 9 and a
half. I know you've been doing
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this with your children
since they were very small
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to encourage this
habit of daily devotions.
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What if someone is out in
our audience who has children
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who are in their teens
and they've never had family
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worship together, and they find
that their children are being
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attracted to the things of the
world, and now they're saying
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"I need to do this", what
would you suggest, where would
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- they begin? -
What I wouldn't suggest
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is that right after this program
you sit down with your children,
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say "Right, we're
having family worship. "
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What I would suggest is that
you go to the Lord, you and your
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spouse go to the Lord on
your knees together and pray
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about it first of all. I
know it's the right thing
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to do, but pray about how you
can present this to the family.
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Before you go further, I'm going
to interject something to make
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your answer even a
little more challenging.
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Let's suppose that one of
our viewers is a woman who is
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married to a non-Christian
man and has teenage children,
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she can't go to her spouse
and pray together, so let's
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- take it from there. -
She takes it to the Lord
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because He is her spiritual
Father, she can take it
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to the Lord and ask Him
how should she implement this
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in her family. I
have a dear friend
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who is in this situation,
and I know that then my
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encouragement would be
that when you and the Lord,
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you know where you're
going, you know what you want
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to achieve, then sit down
with the rest of your family,
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whether it's your entire family,
whether it's just you and
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the children because
your spouse is not a believer,
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and just talk about it
as a family: "what are we"
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"going to do? This
is what I've found... "
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And what we have found as
parents is that the enthusiasm
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will start here. If we
generate the enthusiasm
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you'll be amazed at how
soon older children and younger
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children will pick up
and go with that enthusiasm,
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and then you'll be able
to ride on their enthusiasm,
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but you must start it yourself.
So what I would encourage,
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we have found that
works in our family is to make
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it relevant to the
ages that your children are.
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So if you have
teenagers, looking at the story
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of baby Jesus probably
isn't going to cut it for them.
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They are looking at what
kind of issues are prevalent
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for a teenager today,
and go into the word of God
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together as a family, and
look at these things together
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as a family, drawing practical
application for the ages
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that the family is currently at.
That is something that we have
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found is a real key and a
real blessing, and not only
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as we do that we can give
a blessing to our children,
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but we can honestly say
that every family worship is a
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- blessing to us as well.
- Another important point,
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especially with teenagers, and
it works with little children
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as well, is to make the
time of family worship short
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and spirited. If
you're going to start
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family worship and say
the father is involved, and he
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says: "Okay family, we're
having family worship now",
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and he reads half of the book
of Job, I can guarantee you,
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though it's the inspired word
of God, he's not going to meet
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with much
enthusiasm the next day.
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Make it short and spirited;
singing, that's what we like
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to do. Singing is as much an act
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of worship as is prayer.
So the singing is something
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everybody can enter
into, and then just a couple
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of Scriptures, maybe
have the young people read,
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or say "well, what do you want
to share", have them involved.
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When we first started singing
together in family worship
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it was just the 2 of
us, when we came across
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the idea of the need for family
worship, and it was kind of
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embarrassing.
You're used to singing
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in church in a group of people,
but just 2 of you, or maybe
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3 or 4, but as you get
used to it you become more
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comfortable with each
other doing that, it becomes
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a real joy and a real
blessing in the family.
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The blessings are had on
the new ground that we've
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entered onto, if we just want
to stay on the ground that we're
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comfortable in, then we're
not going to experience any
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of the
blessings outside of that.
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Well, you know what I
like about what you said about
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keeping it short is that,
particularly if you're trying
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to introduce this in a
family that you've not made it
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your practice to do, by keeping
it short you'll keep their
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interest, and as they
become more interested they will
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participate more, and
if it goes a little longer
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then they will grow into that,
rather than trying to force
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feed them something.
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Many parents that I talk with
say that there's this morning
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battle in their home to get
everybody up and out the door.
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I've talked with so many
who said: "I don't have time"
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"for worship because it's
just trying to get my children"
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"ready for school and
get them out the door".
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What would you counsel
with a parent that is wanting
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to do family worship,
but everything is so hectic
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and at such a pace in the
morning that they're saying:
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- "How are we going to do this?"
- The answer, believe it or not,
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is in Genesis, the
first book of the Bible,
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"the evening and the
morning were the first day,"
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"and the second day,
and the third day", you know
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the creation story, so
the evening, the day starts
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at night, most people think
the day starts in the morning,
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but unless we've got to bed,
and got the whole family to bed
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at a reasonable hour, then
we do find that those morning
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hours, we leave it to the
last minute to get up, we just
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grab a cereal or a bit of
juice and the idea of adding
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even 10 minutes of family
worship in there seems like
00:11:05.52\00:11:08.47
an impossibility. One
thing that Carolyn and I
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have learned is that 10 minutes
in the morning is very valuable.
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You think about the average
morning, if you think you have
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a phone call for 10 minutes
in the morning, it's like I've
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hardly got time for it, but
in the evening 10 minutes is
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nothing. What
I'm saying is make it
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a habit to go to bed a
little earlier, that takes some
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self control, that takes
a commitment to the Lord,
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"Lord, I'll be in bed
by such and such a time",
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which leads us onto one
of the subjects we wanted
00:11:39.45\00:11:42.18
to talk about,
and that is schedule.
00:11:42.21\00:11:44.61
So schedule a time for bedtime,
then if you just get up half
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an hour earlier in the morning,
it opens up a chunk of time
00:11:48.74\00:11:52.79
for family worship, for
some personal devotions,
00:11:52.82\00:11:55.39
and even for a hearty breakfast.
So you do this with your
00:11:55.42\00:11:59.21
family; would you encourage
people to actually have
00:11:59.24\00:12:02.52
their worship before breakfast,
because if you leave it
00:12:02.55\00:12:06.13
to the end you're going to
have somebody who's running late
00:12:06.16\00:12:08.71
and getting ready to
go out the door, right?
00:12:08.74\00:12:11.32
That's exactly right, in
fact, in our family we encourage
00:12:11.35\00:12:14.43
that if you're looking for
good physical food for the day,
00:12:14.46\00:12:19.22
you need your good
spiritual food for the day first
00:12:19.25\00:12:21.79
because you're going to
get through the day without
00:12:21.82\00:12:24.86
your physical food, not
that we go and starve ourselves,
00:12:24.89\00:12:27.54
but you're going to get to
the end of the day if you never
00:12:27.57\00:12:30.52
took a bite, but often we
don't think about: "will we get"
00:12:30.55\00:12:33.20
"to the end of the day if we
never take a spiritual bite",
00:12:33.23\00:12:36.27
and we go through so many days
starving ourselves spiritually.
00:12:36.30\00:12:39.58
So we encourage that in a very
practical way in our family,
00:12:39.61\00:12:42.62
we have our personal
devotions, our family worship,
00:12:42.65\00:12:45.10
- then we move on to
breakfast. - That's good.
00:12:45.13\00:12:48.90
The reality of that is that
we have tried in our family,
00:12:49.40\00:12:52.73
just through the push
and stress of life sometimes:
00:12:52.76\00:12:55.64
"I'll tell you what,
let's just have worship after"
00:12:55.67\00:12:58.52
"breakfast", and we've tried
it about half a dozen times,
00:12:58.55\00:13:01.43
and I think we maybe did
it once, it's just once you've
00:13:01.46\00:13:04.70
had the meal and you're
into the cleanup and dad's
00:13:04.73\00:13:06.83
got to go, it just disappears,
so do it before hand,
00:13:06.86\00:13:11.49
it works much better,
the mind is clearer as well.
00:13:11.52\00:13:14.04
Excellent counsel. I
was thinking as you were
00:13:14.07\00:13:16.70
speaking, I took care of
my niece for a short time
00:13:16.73\00:13:21.25
about a year and a half,
and she was a teen, 15, when I
00:13:21.28\00:13:25.97
first was caring for
her, she was not in the habit
00:13:26.00\00:13:29.17
of eating a meal at the
dinner table, so I found it very
00:13:29.20\00:13:33.51
difficult to get her
to communicate with me.
00:13:33.54\00:13:36.36
When I suggested that we would
start having all of our meals
00:13:36.39\00:13:39.28
at the dinner table
instead of eating on the run,
00:13:39.31\00:13:42.15
at first she did not like
the idea, so I just set a nice
00:13:42.18\00:13:45.14
table and sat down and
after the first couple of times
00:13:45.17\00:13:48.14
of her sitting there,
then she was the one who wanted
00:13:48.17\00:13:51.14
to set the table;
sometimes maybe for a parent,
00:13:51.17\00:13:53.92
they may have to start
just having that worship
00:13:53.95\00:13:56.48
in the morning and letting the
children discuss how wonderful
00:13:56.51\00:14:00.01
the results were for them
to see that there's a value
00:14:00.04\00:14:03.79
- to this. - It's
new habit patterns
00:14:03.82\00:14:06.22
that we're really seeking
to generate, and the Lord
00:14:06.25\00:14:08.84
is the only one that can give
us that, but like I said before,
00:14:08.87\00:14:11.97
if we won't step outside of the
ground that we're comfortable
00:14:12.00\00:14:15.23
with, then we'll stay where
we are, but the Lord's calling
00:14:15.26\00:14:18.24
- us on to higher ground.
- So families who are having
00:14:18.27\00:14:22.44
this devotional time together in
the morning and scheduling this,
00:14:22.47\00:14:26.92
it sounds like this really
would bring more unity and peace
00:14:26.95\00:14:30.52
into the family, what are some
of the other pillars that you
00:14:30.55\00:14:33.81
see as holding
a family together?
00:14:33.84\00:14:38.04
I think that we haven't
necessarily really covered
00:14:38.07\00:14:40.51
the idea of a schedule
because the schedule isn't just
00:14:40.54\00:14:43.34
to make sure that "I
get my devotions", but for a
00:14:43.37\00:14:46.06
complete day for a family.
We have found that it's been
00:14:46.09\00:14:50.64
such a blessing to our
family, and particularly for our
00:14:50.67\00:14:53.39
children, to give them
this stability and the security
00:14:53.42\00:14:56.95
that they have, is to know
that "this is when we're going"
00:14:56.98\00:14:59.73
"to eat, and this is
when I'm going to go to bed,"
00:14:59.76\00:15:02.59
"and I know that in my
day mommy and daddy are going"
00:15:02.62\00:15:05.52
"to take family take with
me", because we've scheduled
00:15:05.55\00:15:08.49
it through our day. So
that is something that a lot
00:15:08.52\00:15:11.40
of people stand back in
horror and say: "I don't want"
00:15:11.43\00:15:14.08
"to be scheduled, that's putting
me in a box", but you know,
00:15:14.11\00:15:16.80
God is a God of order, and
that is His character that is
00:15:16.83\00:15:19.93
in there, and we don't
have a natural desire for it,
00:15:19.96\00:15:24.43
then I would encourage
our viewers to ask Him to put
00:15:24.46\00:15:27.25
it there because it wasn't
natural for us to want to say:
00:15:27.28\00:15:30.37
"Okay, we're going to got
to be every time at this time"
00:15:30.40\00:15:33.08
"so that we'll get up
every time this time... ",
00:15:33.11\00:15:35.78
and it's a step of faith to
say that I'm going to do that,
00:15:35.81\00:15:38.32
but when you step out of
faith and do that, then you see
00:15:38.35\00:15:41.55
the beautiful results
coming into your family from
00:15:41.58\00:15:44.97
the stability that it
gives. Now, we travel all over
00:15:45.00\00:15:47.31
the place, and our schedule is
very changeable when we're gone
00:15:47.34\00:15:50.83
from home, but our
children know when we get home,
00:15:50.86\00:15:53.45
"give us 24 hours to get
unpacked and back to normal,"
00:15:53.48\00:15:57.43
"we'll be on schedule", and
it gives them that stability
00:15:57.46\00:16:00.17
and security in the home.
00:16:00.20\00:16:02.46
You know, it's true that
even teenagers that I've spoken
00:16:02.49\00:16:05.62
with, it seems that children
want boundaries, they like
00:16:05.65\00:16:09.17
that security, it does give
them that sense of security,
00:16:09.20\00:16:13.23
and they like
consistency, don't they?
00:16:13.26\00:16:16.25
That's one thing I really
want to encourage parents with
00:16:16.28\00:16:19.06
because in my experience,
again, counseling with people,
00:16:19.09\00:16:22.13
I have found the sometimes,
even I've had young people
00:16:22.16\00:16:25.29
come to me and say: "I
told my parents I didn't like"
00:16:25.32\00:16:29.87
"it, and I would put on
the outside it was a fight,"
00:16:29.90\00:16:33.53
"but really in my heart I
loved what they were doing. "
00:16:33.56\00:16:36.49
So I want to
encourage the parents,
00:16:36.52\00:16:39.15
even if you're meeting
with a little resistance
00:16:39.18\00:16:42.10
there, they will thank
you for it in the end, this is
00:16:42.13\00:16:44.74
the consistent scheduled
life, the real battle is not
00:16:44.77\00:16:49.02
with young people, the
real battle is with dad and mom.
00:16:49.05\00:16:56.26
If the Lord can work on
our hearts, and we can bring
00:16:56.29\00:16:59.36
that into the children's life.
Just to carry on on that topic
00:16:59.39\00:17:02.01
of consistency, not
just consistency in time,
00:17:02.04\00:17:06.47
but also consistency in what
is expected of the children.
00:17:06.50\00:17:11.49
You used the word "boundaries",
what we like, as all people,
00:17:11.52\00:17:18.75
what we like about boundaries
is that they don't move.
00:17:18.78\00:17:22.40
For instance, I don't
know if any of our viewers have
00:17:22.43\00:17:25.32
had the chance to go to
the Eiffel Tower in Paris,
00:17:25.35\00:17:29.75
I went on one occasion
because we were born and raised
00:17:29.78\00:17:32.28
in Europe, and it has a
boundary, a guard rail that
00:17:32.31\00:17:37.48
stops you falling all the
way down into the city, and it's
00:17:37.51\00:17:41.24
nice that that thing is rock
solid. You know it won't move,
00:17:41.27\00:17:45.70
so quite happily you can
move around it within it,
00:17:45.73\00:17:49.26
within safety, and you
know you can't go any further.
00:17:49.29\00:17:52.65
But what happens if we are
not consistent in our parenting
00:17:52.68\00:17:56.84
is that we set boundaries,
and we say to our young person:
00:17:56.87\00:18:00.90
"You need to be back
home by 9", and they come in
00:18:00.93\00:18:05.41
at 9.30 and we don't say
anything, and then the next
00:18:05.44\00:18:09.55
time they come in at
9.45, and we don't say anything,
00:18:09.58\00:18:13.90
then they come in at
11.00, and all of sudden we say
00:18:13.93\00:18:16.84
"No, that's not good enough.
" Well, where is the boundary?
00:18:16.87\00:18:19.77
We need to be consistent,
and the young people,
00:18:19.80\00:18:23.53
and our little children, they
just thrive because they know
00:18:23.56\00:18:26.08
- where they stand. -
In consistency, Carolyn,
00:18:26.11\00:18:30.60
have you counseled with
people where the father says
00:18:30.63\00:18:33.79
one thing and the mother says
another, what effect does that
00:18:33.82\00:18:37.39
- have on the
children? - It's very negative
00:18:37.42\00:18:40.53
because then the child starts
to manipulate the parents,
00:18:40.56\00:18:43.35
and then the child is running
the home because the child
00:18:43.38\00:18:46.43
know "I go ask daddy
when I want a certain thing,"
00:18:46.46\00:18:49.37
"and I won't ask
mommy that question. "
00:18:49.40\00:18:52.16
I know because I did it as
a child, I knew which parent
00:18:52.19\00:18:55.05
to go to to ask which question.
I knew that ultimately my father
00:18:55.08\00:18:57.85
had the ultimate last say,
but I knew I could go to my
00:18:57.88\00:19:01.06
mother with certain things
or him, and it's very negative
00:19:01.09\00:19:03.86
in the family. So
the question that we will
00:19:03.89\00:19:06.23
ask in what we encourage
with those that we talk with,
00:19:06.26\00:19:09.21
is ask of your
child: "what did daddy say?"
00:19:09.24\00:19:13.26
Our children will still do it
even those we are training them,
00:19:13.49\00:19:16.57
it's within us as humans I
think, to seek to get the best
00:19:16.60\00:19:19.41
angle we can, whatever our
situation is, so they'll go
00:19:19.44\00:19:23.35
and I'll say: "So
Caleb, what did you ask daddy?"
00:19:23.38\00:19:26.19
"Oh yeah... ", I say:
"Then you have your answer. "
00:19:26.22\00:19:29.06
That self has to die
within you because I might not
00:19:29.09\00:19:31.76
agree with him, but it's
recognizing that the important
00:19:31.79\00:19:36.72
thing is to be consistent, and
that is a foundational pillar
00:19:36.75\00:19:40.25
when we recognize how important
that is, then later I can say
00:19:40.28\00:19:43.67
to him "Why did you say
that? That wouldn't have been"
00:19:43.70\00:19:47.02
"what I would have said", and
then in our couple communication
00:19:47.05\00:19:50.09
together, we can be talking
about "Okay, so why did I"
00:19:50.12\00:19:53.14
"say what I did?" But
keeping the consistency
00:19:53.17\00:19:56.08
there for the
sake of the children.
00:19:56.11\00:19:58.83
- That's good. -
There's yet another avenue
00:19:58.86\00:20:01.61
in consistency that I want to
cover, and that is consistency
00:20:01.64\00:20:04.76
in standards. Often
times daddy will say
00:20:04.79\00:20:07.68
"Children, take your shoes
off", and then he looks down at
00:20:07.71\00:20:11.25
his feet and he sees
he's got his shoes on,
00:20:11.28\00:20:14.42
maybe on the new carpet,
or maybe it's muddy boots,
00:20:14.45\00:20:17.57
and we have sought, and
we have found this gives
00:20:17.60\00:20:20.33
the children a great deal
of confidence if they know
00:20:20.36\00:20:24.10
that mom and dad are
willing to abide by the same
00:20:24.13\00:20:28.62
rules, I guess we could
call them, the same standards
00:20:28.65\00:20:31.18
that the children
are. So we don't have one
00:20:31.21\00:20:33.78
standard for them,
and one standard for us.
00:20:33.81\00:20:36.18
Now, in some things obviously
there's a different standard,
00:20:36.21\00:20:38.67
we don't all go to bed at
the same time, mommy and daddy
00:20:38.70\00:20:41.55
go to bed later, but I
think that's understood,
00:20:41.58\00:20:44.19
but where there's a principle
that is binding on all members
00:20:44.22\00:20:46.61
of the family, daddy or
mommy can't be exempt from that
00:20:46.64\00:20:52.50
because what does
that do in a child's heart?
00:20:52.53\00:20:55.01
I'll tell you what it does,
and it's pretty scary when I
00:20:55.04\00:20:58.16
realized what was
happening. If we tell them to do
00:20:58.19\00:21:01.11
one thing, yet we do not do it
ourselves, we're not consistent,
00:21:01.14\00:21:04.39
we are inadvertently
planting the seeds of rebellion
00:21:04.42\00:21:08.58
in their hearts. No,
they don't show up in
00:21:08.61\00:21:11.31
the early years, but
sooner or later they see
00:21:11.34\00:21:15.61
the inconsistency and then they
start to see inconsistencies
00:21:15.64\00:21:20.05
at church, and then
they say: "Well, why can't I"
00:21:20.08\00:21:22.40
"be inconsistent", and
then they say: "well, I know"
00:21:22.43\00:21:25.51
"the word of God's true, but
I'm going off into the world",
00:21:25.54\00:21:28.23
and it's all because of
those little inconsistencies in
00:21:28.26\00:21:31.06
the home. So
consistency has to do
00:21:31.09\00:21:33.28
with time, and it has to do
with standards, it has to do
00:21:33.31\00:21:36.53
with boundaries, it's a
broad subject, we would love
00:21:36.56\00:21:39.28
to explore that a little
further, but time won't allow.
00:21:39.31\00:21:44.68
I think that it's important
for parents to remember as well
00:21:44.78\00:21:48.00
that children become who they
behold, so if you're not being
00:21:48.03\00:21:51.19
consistent, if you're suggesting
one thing and the child
00:21:51.22\00:21:54.99
does not do it, and yet you
are doing it, the child is going
00:21:55.02\00:21:58.46
to rebel and they're going
to become what they behold.
00:21:58.49\00:22:01.60
Now, in an ideal situation,
we're talking about some
00:22:01.63\00:22:03.96
good things here, we're talking
about family worship to bring
00:22:03.99\00:22:07.30
unity, having a
schedule that is a set schedule,
00:22:07.33\00:22:11.92
standards that are consistent,
being consistent parents,
00:22:11.95\00:22:15.36
not discussing their
disagreements in front
00:22:15.39\00:22:17.97
of the children, but talking
about that behind closed doors.
00:22:18.00\00:22:23.48
In an ideal situation,
what other things do you think
00:22:24.66\00:22:28.35
would be good to
bring more family unity?
00:22:28.38\00:22:32.12
I really want to express at
this point that we're moving
00:22:32.54\00:22:35.56
on to the ideal, and if
God opens the way, I would
00:22:35.59\00:22:40.30
encourage families to move
out of the cities and move out
00:22:40.33\00:22:45.00
- into a
country location. - Why?
00:22:45.03\00:22:47.97
"Why?" Thank you
for your abruptness...
00:22:48.00\00:22:51.08
- ... Because; I'll
answer it. - Go ahead.
00:22:51.11\00:22:54.00
By beholding we come changed,
and if we are Christians
00:22:54.03\00:22:58.30
and we're seeking to live
all for the Lord, to be prepared
00:22:58.33\00:23:01.47
for His return, and we live
right in the middle of a city,
00:23:01.50\00:23:04.34
we will be changed
whether we know it or not,
00:23:04.37\00:23:06.62
whether we choose to be
or not, by what we behold,
00:23:06.65\00:23:09.63
and so will our children.
So for us, we began to seek
00:23:09.66\00:23:13.61
the Lord earnestly to take us
from the negative that we could
00:23:13.64\00:23:17.31
see around us, to a
place that we could see Him;
00:23:17.34\00:23:20.37
and that country environment
where you are beholding
00:23:20.40\00:23:23.54
the things of His
creation rather than the devices
00:23:23.57\00:23:26.08
of men, is the ideal
environment to raise a family,
00:23:26.11\00:23:29.86
to be as a family.
There's nothing new under
00:23:29.89\00:23:32.06
the sun, all the way through
the Old Testament you see
00:23:32.09\00:23:34.50
God's people out in the hills
and all the trouble going on
00:23:34.53\00:23:37.97
down in the city.
Abraham and Lot is just
00:23:38.00\00:23:40.28
a classic. Abraham was up there,
00:23:40.31\00:23:43.07
Lot was down there, Lot
had to get out, he didn't want
00:23:43.10\00:23:45.71
to get out, and sometimes
if work is there, and family
00:23:45.74\00:23:49.62
are there, it's
a difficult thing.
00:23:49.65\00:23:53.02
For my wife and I, we
prayed every single day
00:23:53.05\00:23:55.98
for 2 and a half years,
"Lord, take us out from here",
00:23:56.01\00:23:59.12
and He did, God answers
prayer in miraculous ways.
00:23:59.15\00:24:02.14
And as we minister, we
have seen so many families
00:24:02.17\00:24:06.42
who have said "it'll
never happen for me", and then
00:24:06.45\00:24:08.70
year after year as we see
these families at family camp,
00:24:08.73\00:24:11.13
they'll come and say "You didn't
hear from us for the last"
00:24:11.16\00:24:13.74
"9 months because this
is what the Lord did... ",
00:24:13.77\00:24:17.02
and we could share hours
here of different testimonies
00:24:17.05\00:24:19.97
of people that the
Lord has heard their voices,
00:24:20.00\00:24:22.99
they've pled with Him to take
them out of the city environment
00:24:23.02\00:24:26.68
- and the Lord has
done that. - Wonderful.
00:24:26.71\00:24:28.53
For those who are still stuck,
I'll just take a quick minute,
00:24:28.56\00:24:32.32
what would you tell the families
that are stuck in the city
00:24:32.35\00:24:36.33
and they can't get out.
How can they incorporate
00:24:36.36\00:24:38.98
some of those good values there?
00:24:39.01\00:24:41.28
Start where you are.
00:24:41.31\00:24:44.20
You don't have to be in the
country to start implementing
00:24:44.23\00:24:47.61
family worship, it can happen
on the 10th floor, or the 20th
00:24:47.64\00:24:50.59
floor, find a city park that's
around there and just spend
00:24:50.62\00:24:55.08
some time with the children.
That's one of the things
00:24:55.11\00:24:58.31
we didn't cover, but
part of that schedule would be
00:24:58.34\00:25:01.44
scheduling some family
time with the children.
00:25:01.47\00:25:04.84
Take them to the park, or
if you've got young children,
00:25:04.87\00:25:07.14
just push them, if you've got
older youth, then find something
00:25:07.17\00:25:12.00
that you can do together
as a family: take a bike ride,
00:25:12.03\00:25:14.69
or whatever's a common interest.
00:25:14.72\00:25:17.05
We always try to keep it based
around nature because that's
00:25:17.08\00:25:21.26
God's second book in a
way, that's where we can behold
00:25:21.29\00:25:24.01
Him without necessarily having
the Scriptures open in front
00:25:24.04\00:25:27.02
of us, but start where
you are, God'll provide a way.
00:25:27.05\00:25:30.17
And would you recommend
to parents that what their
00:25:30.20\00:25:33.64
children are watching on the TV,
the music that they're listening
00:25:33.67\00:25:36.48
to, the number of
Gameboys and electronic aids
00:25:36.51\00:25:40.36
that they have, what
would you say according to that?
00:25:40.39\00:25:43.56
Well, you know, just as I've
said, by beholding we become
00:25:43.59\00:25:46.07
change, and if you can't change
out there for the time being,
00:25:46.10\00:25:49.99
you most
definitely can change in here.
00:25:50.02\00:25:52.91
What we've start to do in our
home was to apply the principle
00:25:52.94\00:25:55.95
of what sort of things
were pure, true, lovely, honest,
00:25:55.98\00:25:59.01
and apply those principles
to what was in our home.
00:25:59.04\00:26:02.21
You'll probably get rid of 50%,
at least, of what's in your home
00:26:02.24\00:26:04.91
in terms of the things,
the entertainments, the things
00:26:04.94\00:26:07.85
you read, the things you look
at, what your children watch,
00:26:07.88\00:26:11.18
will start to change
just within your own 4 walls,
00:26:11.21\00:26:14.16
and that will start to change
what happens once the Lord
00:26:14.19\00:26:16.83
- is taking care about
that. - But there's a key here,
00:26:16.86\00:26:19.18
it's called "the replacement
principle", you can't just take
00:26:19.21\00:26:21.91
the Gameboy away, you
can't take the TV away
00:26:21.94\00:26:25.55
because you'll set off a course
that you might not be able
00:26:25.58\00:26:28.19
to stop, you've got to
replace it with something.
00:26:28.22\00:26:31.51
The Lord's motto is "something
better", and the best thing
00:26:31.54\00:26:35.01
that you can give your children
is yourself: time with mom,
00:26:35.04\00:26:39.54
time with dad, time with the
family, and then all of a sudden
00:26:39.57\00:26:43.24
they won't miss those
things quite as much, if you
00:26:43.27\00:26:45.63
leave a vacuum, you're just
generating a situation that's
00:26:45.66\00:26:49.48
going to be more difficult
to deal with then the TV.
00:26:49.51\00:26:52.08
Yes, absolutely.
Well, I think we've covered
00:26:52.11\00:26:55.28
some really lovely things,
and very practical advice today.
00:26:55.31\00:26:58.46
I'm afraid that we're out
of time again, but Carolyn,
00:26:58.49\00:27:01.24
I want to thank you, and Paul,
thank you very much both of
00:27:01.27\00:27:05.09
you for the work that
you're doing for the Lord,
00:27:05.12\00:27:08.15
we very much appreciate it, and
we thank you for coming back.
00:27:08.18\00:27:11.14
Now, we're going to have
you back yet again, so we're
00:27:11.17\00:27:14.18
going to leave our viewers
with that tantalizing idea.
00:27:14.21\00:27:18.05
We're very appreciative of
what the Raynes do for the Lord,
00:27:18.08\00:27:21.12
and I hope that you've enjoyed
this program, and that you've
00:27:21.15\00:27:24.11
gotten something, an idea, that
you can take before the Lord
00:27:24.14\00:27:27.90
and say, "Lord, help me to
do this in our own family",
00:27:27.93\00:27:31.55
so we look forward
to you being back again.
00:27:31.58\00:27:34.38
For those of you at home, we
want to just invite you to tune
00:27:34.41\00:27:38.07
in next time, and until
then, may the grace of our Lord,
00:27:38.10\00:27:41.51
Jesus Christ, the love of
the Father, and the fellowship
00:27:41.54\00:27:44.81
of the Holy Spirit be with
you, and remember: make God
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the rock that you're
building your family upon.
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Thank you.
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