Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn, and
welcome to Issues and Answers.
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I know you are going
to enjoy today's program,
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because we are gonna be
talking about forgiveness
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and the process of forgiveness,
what is it? What isn't it?
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I am gonna start
with the scripture
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that you might guess that I
am going to, it is in Matthew 6
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and I am gonna
begin in verse 14,
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this is the Lord
Jesus speaking and he says,
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if you forgive
people their trespasses,
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in another words their
reckless and willful sins
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and if you will
forgive them by leaving them,
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letting them go, and
giving up your resentment.
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If you'll forgive them he says,
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your heavenly Father
will also forgive you.
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But if you do not
forgive others their trespasses,
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neither will the Father
forgive you your trespasses.
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See why this
program is so important
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and I want to welcome
back for a second time,
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our special guest and
that is Dr. Richard D'Avanzo.
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Thank you. Dr.
D'Avanzo, good to have you here.
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And I am having trouble
talking. You know you are the,
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you are a PhD. in
Christian psychology,
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that you would back to
school at the age of 62,
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yeah, that so amazing.
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And you are a
part time professor
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at the Florida
Christian University, yeah.
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You are also the
author of a wonderful book
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When the Vow Breaks, yes.
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And I like the play on
words When the Vow Breaks
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instead of when the vow breaks.
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We discussed in the last
program when you were age 61,
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your wife of nearly
35 years came to you
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and said, I want a divorce.
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Yeah, we're married
about 35 years, yeah.
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Turned your world
upside down didn't it?
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It sure did, it was a shock,
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nothing can be a bigger
shock to me, nothing, nothing.
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One thing that I want be sure
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that I bring up that we covered
in our last program, yeah, yeah.
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You went through great pain,
a great since of loss, yes,
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you just praying
to the Lord saying,
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just take me now,
I just as soon die.
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You already had a
close relationship, yes,
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but you made the
comment and you counseled people
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when you are going through
this don't waste the pain,
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yes, what do you mean?
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Well, God can do certain
things when the arrogance
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of our self-centeredness
is down and out of the way.
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He can do things with us
when we don't get in the way.
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In other words, the
pain drives you to the point
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where I just feel
helpless, I can't do it myself.
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I don't have anything in me
that can solve this problem,
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this dilemma, but God can.
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And now I have opened
the gate for God to come in.
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The pain was the
thing that let me say that.
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So don't let
that pain be wasted,
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say that and then
begin to work with God.
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God will then give you
the love and the peace,
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kindness, the gentleness,
the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
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Yes. So you learned
to embrace your pain,
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and embracing your pain,
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God taught you all
about the forgiveness. Yes.
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overtime, it's
not a straight up,
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its look up and
down, but it's there,
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the trend is up and
God is always there,
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he never lets us go. Amen.
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we're gonna talk today about the
process that God led you through
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I've got some points
here you from your book, yeah,
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and I thought
perhaps in understanding
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the importance of forgiveness.
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The easiest way would be
just to go point by point
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through your book
and let you discuss it,
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okay, elaborate on it, yes.
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You said in your book
what forgiveness is not.
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Forgiveness
doesn't mean we condone
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the wrongs done to us anymore
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then God condones our
sins when He forgives us, yeah.
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You know
forgiveness is not saying
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what you did to me is okay.
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You now, it just, it
doesn't say I condone it,
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it's all right, the
hurts of pain I went through.
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No, that's not forgiveness.
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Whether if someone
has been abused or,
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yeah, there's been infertility,
whatever it is. Right.
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it's not saying it was okay,
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so that's
important to understand that.
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And of course we
get it from Jesus,
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because when we
sin so many times,
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and I look back at my life
and God says, well, it's okay,
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I forgive you, I forgive you.
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And so when his
spirit is living in us,
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we have that same attitude.
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Now that's not
easy, that's very hard,
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we're gonna talk
more about that yeah.
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And especially, we,
what you're saying is,
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when God forgives us it's, He
is not condoning our behavior,
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He is not saying it was okay for
you to do those things, right
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So, lets get on into
little bit more, yeah,
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we'll uncover this
a little more. Okay,
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the second point
is that you made,
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forgiveness isn't a sign
of weakness but our commitment
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to follow the Lord by the
strength the Holy Spirit in us.
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See, we just got
through talking about that,
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we just said that the
spirit is living in me.
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So I make a choice to
say Lord no matter what,
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I am going to follow
what you want me to do.
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Not my Will, but your Will.
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You want me to forgive
because you are a God of love
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and you love me
with everlasting love.
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And so everything
you want me to do,
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it's for the best,
no question about it.
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You used an
interesting word, choice.
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Forgiveness is a
choice that we make,
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a decision that we make
to follow God's will, right,
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and it doesn't mean that
we're gonna just lay down
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and be a doormat for
someone. Right, right.
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Okay, I like that,
let's go on because I think
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you're gonna really get a clear
picture each point we go over.
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You said forgiveness
isn't based upon feelings,
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because we're never
going to feel like forgiving.
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It's our choice to follow
the will of God, no matter what,
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because we are trusting
in God who loves us deeply.
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Yeah feelings, too many times
we've rely on feelings you know.
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Feelings have the
strength of steel,
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yes, but they crack like crystal
when difficulties come in.
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And so you don't want to
judge or rely on feelings,
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feelings are unreliable.
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And when you're
experiencing pain
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and rejection and all
of that, your feelings.
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Emotions are
overwhelming many times
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and so they're not trustworthy.
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And so what we
do is, we don't say,
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well I don't
feel like forgiving.
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Well, don't ever think you
will, no one ever feels like it.
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I'm doing it
because I made a choice,
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because God living in me has
given me the strength to say,
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I will do it because you said so
Lord, and you know what's best.
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All right, this one,
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forgiveness doesn't mean
that I will instantly forget.
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It means that I won't dwell
upon the wrongs done to me.
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And you quoted First
Corinthians 13:5, right,
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that tell us that
those who walk in God's love
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keep no records if wrong, yes.
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But you know you said here,
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it doesn't mean
we instantly forget,
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do we really ever forget?
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Well, its a little bit like
the stronger forgiveness gets,
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you see forgiveness
is almost a process,
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I mean you make a
decision to forgive,
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but it's a
process that continues on
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and it strengthens with time.
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And as God's grace fills
us and replaces that anguish
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that we have. Forgetness,
we begin to forget and slowly.
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You know, I wanna, let me
see if you agree with this.
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What I think is that,
greater the forgiveness,
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its not that you
ever totally forget,
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yeah, but if ever comes back up,
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there is none of that emotion
and pain involved with it.
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No bitterness, no resentment,
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you're just dealing with
it, it's just a fact of life.
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Okay, okay, I like that.
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And another point you made was,
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forgiveness doesn't
mean you necessarily
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trust the other
person right away.
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Trust may take a long
time to reestablish. Yes,
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trust is earned, you
know if somebody has somebody,
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their partner was unfaithful,
I mean that is long time,
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a lot of time
or the person lied.
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You know, I mean there
are so many things that
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just because you
forgive doesn't mean that,
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that you are
gonna be able to say,
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oh well, everything is okay now.
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I think this you know I
like these points because,
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yeah, don't you think
this is gonna help us learn
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how to be more
of forgiving nature
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and yet without being
taken advantage of, yes.
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Alright, the sixth
point you make here is,
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Forgiveness is
not reconciliation,
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it precedes reconciliation.
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But forgiveness
doesn't require remarriage.
00:10:01.50\00:10:05.13
So we're looking at this
in the context of divorce.
00:10:05.14\00:10:08.80
Yeah, its all...We look
at a three step process,
00:10:08.81\00:10:12.58
forgiveness is
non-negotiable for a Christian.
00:10:12.59\00:10:16.10
It eventually has to take place.
The sooner the better. Yes,
00:10:16.11\00:10:20.76
absolutely, by the
power of God. Absolutely.
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You are not gonna do it
under your own strength.
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So, forgiveness goes there.
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Now if there is any
opportunities for reconciliation
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that forgiveness has to be there
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before
reconciliation takes place.
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Before reconciliation can be,
before remarriage can take place
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reconciliation has to take
place. So you have forgiveness,
00:10:44.11\00:10:47.15
reconciliation, reconciliation
is a peaceful relationship.
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One of harmony together,
that mean you are married,
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you don't remarry necessarily,
but there is harmony
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and is very important
later on we talk about children.
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Yeah, so then remarriage can
take place if it's appropriate.
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And you know it occurs to me,
let me ask you this question.
00:11:05.57\00:11:08.65
Let's say there is forgiveness
and even reconciliation in that,
00:11:09.19\00:11:12.71
perhaps someone, their spouse
has been unfaithful. Yeah.
00:11:12.72\00:11:17.73
had affairs, yeah
maybe multiple affairs, sure.
00:11:17.74\00:11:20.36
And so the
Christian, the divorced person
00:11:20.37\00:11:24.66
who is a
Christian must forgive them,
00:11:24.67\00:11:27.15
they might be
reconciled to them.
00:11:27.16\00:11:28.92
In the fact that maybe they're
the parent of their children,
00:11:28.93\00:11:31.78
sure, they get
together on certain dates
00:11:31.79\00:11:34.65
and things to celebrate
with the children and go to,
00:11:34.66\00:11:37.28
right, civil
public, things with them.
00:11:37.29\00:11:42.32
But, because they don't have
to trust them to forgive them,
00:11:42.33\00:11:47.13
reconciliation
doesn't even mean that
00:11:47.14\00:11:49.82
remarriage is required,
it's not always required.
00:11:49.83\00:11:53.27
And it's not
required, it is something
00:11:53.28\00:11:57.33
that I think God would like
to see happen if it's possible,
00:11:57.34\00:12:00.72
okay. But you as an
individual I know obligation.
00:12:00.73\00:12:05.74
Would you marry
someone that you didn't trust?
00:12:05.75\00:12:07.99
I would have to have
a reconciliation process
00:12:08.56\00:12:11.77
long enough
that, that I did trust,
00:12:11.78\00:12:13.45
okay, that's why I
say it takes a long time.
00:12:13.46\00:12:16.65
That's the point I
wanted to get across, yeah.
00:12:16.66\00:12:19.02
Number seven, you said,
forgiveness doesn't require
00:12:19.03\00:12:22.17
any action from the
person who has wronged us.
00:12:22.18\00:12:25.74
In other words, I say okay Lord,
00:12:26.93\00:12:29.62
I believe that forgiveness
is the right thing to do
00:12:30.21\00:12:34.04
and you want me to do
it. And I am gonna do it,
00:12:34.05\00:12:36.95
and I go ahead and
I ask for forgiveness
00:12:37.35\00:12:39.92
and I can ask forgiveness
in many different ways,
00:12:39.93\00:12:42.52
we'll talk about that later.
00:12:42.53\00:12:44.29
But and then the person is
negative and I get all upset.
00:12:44.30\00:12:51.38
She didn't even
appreciate or he didn't respond
00:12:52.77\00:12:56.44
or they didn't answer.
00:12:56.45\00:12:59.04
Look,
forgiveness doesn't require
00:12:59.37\00:13:01.96
any particular kind of response.
00:13:01.97\00:13:04.73
You are not doing
it for their benefit,
00:13:05.49\00:13:07.78
you are doing it
because God wanted me to.
00:13:07.79\00:13:09.73
Yes. Okay, and there response
is what God may deal with.
00:13:09.74\00:13:14.25
I had a lady once who
came up to me and she said
00:13:16.00\00:13:18.33
oh, yes, you
know the Bible says,
00:13:18.34\00:13:21.46
Jesus says to love your enemies,
00:13:21.47\00:13:23.51
pray for those who
persecute you. Yeah.
00:13:23.52\00:13:25.90
And by this we are heaping
burning coals upon their heads.
00:13:25.91\00:13:28.69
She said, I am really praying,
00:13:28.70\00:13:30.70
because I want lots of
burning coal upon their head.
00:13:30.71\00:13:33.27
And somehow she
had the idea that
00:13:33.49\00:13:35.78
this was some kind of punishment
00:13:35.79\00:13:37.31
and for those who may
not know in Jesus day,
00:13:37.32\00:13:40.74
there was a practice
by a certain sect that
00:13:40.75\00:13:44.52
when they were
walking in repentance,
00:13:44.53\00:13:47.79
they would put this
flat plate on their head
00:13:47.80\00:13:51.26
and put burning coals on it, to
show that they were repentant.
00:13:51.27\00:13:55.28
So, what Jesus was
saying is that by loving
00:13:55.29\00:13:58.74
and forgiving
those who are enemies,
00:13:58.75\00:14:01.61
we actually may bring them
to repentance, yes, yes, so...
00:14:01.62\00:14:05.31
But that's between God,
that's between God, yeah.
00:14:05.32\00:14:07.83
And God doesn't ask us to
forgive others for their benefit
00:14:07.84\00:14:12.16
he asks us for our benefit,
00:14:12.17\00:14:14.36
so that he can
continue to work in us.
00:14:14.37\00:14:16.58
Yes, because
that's the only the way
00:14:16.59\00:14:17.72
the fullness of the
Holy Spirit can be within us.
00:14:17.73\00:14:20.07
Absolutely, yes, absolutely.
00:14:20.08\00:14:22.19
Okay, so that's
what forgiveness is now,
00:14:22.20\00:14:24.26
let see what Dr.
D'Angelo says forgiveness is,
00:14:24.27\00:14:29.37
did I say that, D' Avanzo,
I knew I said that wrong.
00:14:29.38\00:14:32.63
What forgiveness is,
00:14:32.64\00:14:34.96
forgiveness is my
decision to walk with God.
00:14:35.33\00:14:38.86
Plan and simple number
one, God wants me to do it,
00:14:39.02\00:14:43.10
I am doing it, I am
not, I don't feel like it,
00:14:43.11\00:14:48.87
I may not even want to.
00:14:48.88\00:14:51.00
I may not even be willing to
00:14:52.16\00:14:54.47
and so I may have to pray Lord,
00:14:55.52\00:14:57.14
help me to be
willing to be willing
00:14:57.15\00:15:00.09
Amen, Lord, I am
willing to be made willing.
00:15:01.68\00:15:04.34
He will meet us wherever we are.
00:15:04.35\00:15:06.12
See, it doesn't
make any difference,
00:15:06.44\00:15:07.91
well I'm not good enough to get,
00:15:07.92\00:15:09.51
no, no, God goes
wherever you are.
00:15:09.52\00:15:11.66
You know and
Philippians 2:13 says that
00:15:12.81\00:15:14.99
it's God who works in us to will
00:15:15.00\00:15:17.07
and to act according
to his purpose. Amen,
00:15:17.08\00:15:18.97
I like this. All right you also
said forgiveness is giving up
00:15:19.84\00:15:24.50
my desire to punish
the person who has hurt me.
00:15:24.51\00:15:27.89
The Lord tells
me in Romans 12:19,
00:15:28.34\00:15:31.55
"It is mine to
avenge; I will repay."
00:15:31.56\00:15:34.04
Yes, see, he says to
me, he said look Richard,
00:15:34.05\00:15:36.61
you keep out of this, anything
you do is gonna mess it up.
00:15:36.62\00:15:40.74
You can't do it,
00:15:40.75\00:15:42.67
I will take care of how
to deal with the your Ex,
00:15:42.68\00:15:46.40
he says your job is
just to ask for forgiveness.
00:15:46.41\00:15:50.27
For the wrongs
that you did to her
00:15:50.28\00:15:52.23
and you forgive her for
the wrong she did to you.
00:15:52.24\00:15:55.41
Amen, in other words, don't
try to be God in this matter.
00:15:57.45\00:16:01.48
Yes, he doesn't need any help.
00:16:01.49\00:16:02.92
Okay, forgiveness is
real when I can sincerely
00:16:04.21\00:16:08.85
wish good for the
person who has wronged me.
00:16:08.86\00:16:11.24
I like this point.
Christ teaches us to pray
00:16:11.25\00:16:14.33
for those who
persecute you, Matthew 5:44.
00:16:14.34\00:16:17.18
Yes, yes, you
know that's a sure sign
00:16:17.19\00:16:20.04
that
forgiveness is taking place,
00:16:20.05\00:16:21.99
when you can really
sincerely begin to pray
00:16:22.00\00:16:25.24
for the well being of the
person who maybe hurt you.
00:16:25.25\00:16:28.76
Yeah, there is only one
person in my entirely life
00:16:28.77\00:16:32.20
that I felt hatred toward
and I won't go into the story,
00:16:32.21\00:16:35.82
but I will say this.
00:16:35.83\00:16:37.21
The Lord started me off
with Matthew 6:14 and 15
00:16:37.89\00:16:41.73
telling me I had to
forgive and I said Lord,
00:16:41.74\00:16:44.18
I don't want to, yeah,
I don't know how to, yeah,
00:16:44.19\00:16:46.38
and the Lord led me to
pray for their salvation,
00:16:46.39\00:16:49.41
and did you know I didn't want
to pray for their salvation.
00:16:49.42\00:16:52.01
I would have just
assumed that they had spent,
00:16:52.02\00:16:54.45
gone somewhere
else. And I just obeyed
00:16:55.77\00:17:00.53
and I started
praying for their salvation,
00:17:00.54\00:17:02.34
you know what pretty, you can't
pray for someone salvation too
00:17:02.87\00:17:05.85
long before you actually do
begin to experience forgiveness.
00:17:05.86\00:17:09.61
The Holy Spirit,
begins to work, yeah.
00:17:09.62\00:17:12.70
And you know you
mentioned, you know some people,
00:17:12.71\00:17:16.11
to just quickly clear that up.
00:17:16.12\00:17:18.07
See I can't, I can't
ask for forgiveness because
00:17:19.06\00:17:22.42
my acts is
detonating or it is hostile.
00:17:22.43\00:17:27.09
Okay and I can
get in their presence
00:17:27.60\00:17:29.79
without harm maybe coming in.
00:17:29.80\00:17:31.68
Well, then you do it,
perhaps by letter or by phone,
00:17:32.18\00:17:36.46
if a person is dead
then you just make it to God.
00:17:37.08\00:17:40.88
Okay, but the
important thing is that you do
00:17:41.88\00:17:44.04
it to the person
if they're living,
00:17:44.05\00:17:46.57
one way or another by phone,
by letter or by in person.
00:17:47.23\00:17:51.63
So, you're saying it's important
for you to tell the person,
00:17:51.82\00:17:56.63
yes, that you forgive them.
00:17:56.64\00:17:58.10
Yeah, it's just not saying,
you're not saying to God,
00:17:58.11\00:18:00.82
oh! Lord, forgive me for
hurting my Ex in this way
00:18:00.83\00:18:04.19
and that way and I
forgive them for hurting me
00:18:04.20\00:18:06.10
in this way and that way.
00:18:06.11\00:18:07.38
That what it's about,
it's my act of making contact
00:18:07.39\00:18:11.70
with that person in
some form or another,
00:18:11.71\00:18:14.01
it's a lot of power.
00:18:15.32\00:18:17.53
Then after we do that, God says,
00:18:17.54\00:18:19.77
now you come to me
and ask for forgiveness,
00:18:19.78\00:18:22.24
because when you hurt
my creation, you hurt me.
00:18:22.51\00:18:25.98
I'm not sure I have
wrote this man a letter,
00:18:29.24\00:18:31.36
I'm thinking about this, okay.
00:18:31.37\00:18:34.69
Number four, forgiveness is
a non-negotiable requirement
00:18:34.70\00:18:39.32
for every
believer. Jesus teaches us,
00:18:39.33\00:18:42.04
if you forgive men
when they sin against you,
00:18:42.05\00:18:44.09
your heavenly Father
will also forgive you.
00:18:44.10\00:18:46.57
But if you do not
forgive men their sins,
00:18:46.58\00:18:48.38
your Father will not forgive
your sins that's Matthew 6:14-15
00:18:48.39\00:18:52.73
Yeah, there is wallowing there,
00:18:52.74\00:18:53.96
you just you can
waffle in that one, yeah.
00:18:54.50\00:18:57.32
I mean it's so plain,
00:18:57.33\00:18:58.79
but is plain because
God loves us so much,
00:18:58.80\00:19:01.31
he know that unforgiveness
is gonna cause bitterness
00:19:01.32\00:19:04.92
and resentment in us
00:19:04.93\00:19:06.93
and it's gonna it is
eat us up like a cancer.
00:19:06.94\00:19:09.26
And so it's great love
for us says, this is must,
00:19:10.16\00:19:12.93
so I can give
you something better,
00:19:13.47\00:19:15.31
the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
00:19:15.61\00:19:17.10
Amen, and I like the
point that you brought out from
00:19:17.11\00:19:20.43
Philippians 4:13, yeah,
because so many people will say,
00:19:20.44\00:19:23.75
I don't have the
strength, I can't do this,
00:19:23.76\00:19:26.17
yeah, I can't forgive.
But Philippians 4:13 says,
00:19:26.18\00:19:29.91
you can do all things through
Christ Jesus who strengthens you
00:19:29.92\00:19:33.42
Yes, and that's
true. Amen, it is.
00:19:33.43\00:19:35.98
All right, I like this point
that you made in your book,
00:19:36.66\00:19:40.64
forgiving is a
blessing from God to us
00:19:40.65\00:19:43.81
and in the case that
your book is on divorce,
00:19:44.29\00:19:47.04
so is you are saying
it's a blessing from God to us
00:19:47.05\00:19:50.25
to our former spouse and
even to our children. Yes,
00:19:50.26\00:19:53.79
you see, it's not just one
sided, because it can bless,
00:19:53.80\00:19:58.87
you don't know where
that other person is,
00:19:58.88\00:20:00.67
God knows and that
maybe just the tool
00:20:00.68\00:20:03.53
that God needs
to bring that person
00:20:03.54\00:20:07.14
into a closer
relationship. Amen.
00:20:07.15\00:20:09.72
But I can guarantee you, our
forgiveness if we have children
00:20:09.73\00:20:13.72
will be the greatest
blessing to them, amen.
00:20:14.78\00:20:17.57
And we're gonna
talk about this I guess
00:20:17.58\00:20:19.06
in another program about
children and divorce, yes,
00:20:19.07\00:20:21.23
and this pivotal, because
our forgiveness releases us
00:20:21.41\00:20:25.78
from many
bitterness and resentment and
00:20:25.79\00:20:29.33
our children need to hear that
because that's their parent.
00:20:29.34\00:20:32.79
Amen, amen. But I
liked that you said here
00:20:32.80\00:20:37.63
when you said forgiveness
is a blessing from God to us.
00:20:37.64\00:20:41.04
Its not really an
power you know Romans 5:5,
00:20:41.05\00:20:44.82
it says that it is God who
pours His love into our hearts
00:20:44.83\00:20:50.61
by His Holy Spirit, right,
00:20:50.62\00:20:52.06
we are capable in our own power
to love and forgive others.
00:20:52.48\00:20:57.09
We have to go to
the Lord and say,
00:20:57.58\00:20:59.03
Lord pour your love
into my heart for them
00:20:59.04\00:21:01.57
and you cause me to
forgiveness, yes, yes,
00:21:01.58\00:21:04.08
that's so you brought
that point out beautifully.
00:21:04.09\00:21:06.93
Number 6, forgiving is
exercising my free will,
00:21:06.94\00:21:12.69
my power of choice and
it freeze God to enable me.
00:21:12.70\00:21:17.83
Yes, you see God says, Richard,
00:21:19.09\00:21:21.51
you must forgive this is
very vital for your relationship
00:21:21.52\00:21:25.35
with me and for the joy
that you have in your life,
00:21:25.36\00:21:29.01
you must do this,
amen. And if I do it,
00:21:29.98\00:21:33.50
I don't feel
like it, but I do it,
00:21:34.17\00:21:36.59
that enables God
to pour the blessings.
00:21:36.60\00:21:40.96
Amen, I want to share
something with you because,
00:21:40.97\00:21:44.48
yes, I was asking
God wants to teach me how
00:21:44.49\00:21:48.36
to explain this to
people in an illustration, yeah,
00:21:48.37\00:21:51.34
and I am using this
book that I am writing, yeah.
00:21:51.35\00:21:53.28
And I said, Lord, teach
me why it's some important
00:21:53.82\00:21:57.09
for us to forgive others
and how can I illustrate this,
00:21:57.10\00:22:00.06
yeah. So, let me share with you,
00:22:00.07\00:22:01.77
if you can envision
this mountain stream,
00:22:01.78\00:22:04.25
that is coming down and
somebody takes little wire
00:22:04.26\00:22:08.42
and we just tack one wire
on one side of the mountain
00:22:08.43\00:22:12.16
or the stream I mean and
the other end of the wire
00:22:12.17\00:22:14.90
on the other side of the stream.
00:22:14.91\00:22:16.31
Now, upstream somebody
has a Mcdonald's wrapper,
00:22:16.67\00:22:21.13
they're having a little picnic,
00:22:21.14\00:22:22.22
they throw their
trash into the stream,
00:22:22.23\00:22:24.81
it comes floating down
the river and what it is do
00:22:24.82\00:22:28.79
when it reaches that wire,
yeah, it hangs up there, yeah,
00:22:28.80\00:22:31.98
and over a period of
time as others put trash
00:22:31.99\00:22:35.19
into their stream
just like a beaver
00:22:35.20\00:22:38.95
would built a
dam stick by stick,
00:22:38.96\00:22:40.82
that trash gets
collected long that wire.
00:22:40.83\00:22:43.91
And the Lord were
showing me this that the stream
00:22:44.71\00:22:47.24
would be dammed up
and I am going okay.
00:22:47.25\00:22:49.53
And He said the wire
is unforgiveness, yeah.
00:22:49.54\00:22:53.53
And just that little tiny piece
of unforgiveness in our heart
00:22:53.54\00:22:56.90
all the trash of
life comes and it begins
00:22:56.91\00:22:59.97
to collect around there, yes,
00:22:59.98\00:23:01.68
and you know bitterness
and resentment built up.
00:23:01.69\00:23:04.70
And pretty soon
you've dammed up the flow
00:23:04.71\00:23:07.67
of the living water the flow
of the Holy Spirit through you.
00:23:07.68\00:23:11.46
So, forgiveness damages
us and our life with God,
00:23:11.79\00:23:16.16
but when we remove that wire,
00:23:16.17\00:23:18.77
the Holy Spirit can
flow through us again.
00:23:18.78\00:23:21.05
And flow through
us to others, yeah,
00:23:21.06\00:23:23.99
more precious like our
children, yeah, our friends.
00:23:24.00\00:23:28.29
I think one of the most amazing
things and I love this quote,
00:23:29.65\00:23:34.51
yeah, an unknown author, but
this what's in Richard's book.
00:23:34.52\00:23:39.55
"When you forgive,
you set a prisoner free
00:23:39.81\00:23:44.49
and only then discover
that the prisoner was you."
00:23:44.91\00:23:50.03
Was that your
experience, yes, with your wife?
00:23:50.04\00:23:53.59
Yes, you know its I
counsel people I gave divorce,
00:23:53.60\00:23:58.31
seminars and I know that people
who do this and this is hard,
00:23:58.32\00:24:02.79
it's not easy to do.
00:24:02.80\00:24:03.92
And but I counsel
them to pray before he end
00:24:04.92\00:24:08.69
and ask God's
strength and when they do it,
00:24:08.70\00:24:11.85
I said Aha! It just like I
feel like oh, I feel so good.
00:24:12.30\00:24:17.31
I feel like I
have been set free,
00:24:19.28\00:24:21.76
set free and God says
yes, I have set you free,
00:24:22.66\00:24:28.69
and now he pours his goodness,
his Holy Spirit in you and me,
00:24:29.68\00:24:35.26
so that we can
minister to others.
00:24:35.27\00:24:38.02
I just am amazed at
that how the Lord uses us
00:24:41.91\00:24:45.88
to you know just simple earthen
vessels, yeah, like you and me.
00:24:45.89\00:24:51.30
To share from our pain, yeah
from our recovery his goodness.
00:24:51.80\00:24:57.52
Now, your book is available
this is When the Vow Breaks,
00:24:57.53\00:25:01.41
Richard D'Avanzo,
yeah, and this is available
00:25:01.42\00:25:06.51
in the ABC book
stores by Pacific Press, yes.
00:25:06.52\00:25:09.64
I think that you're an
amazing person, Wow! Thank you.
00:25:09.93\00:25:13.40
And you're a delightful person
00:25:13.41\00:25:14.38
and I say that
because I seen Jesus in you.
00:25:14.39\00:25:16.64
Well, that's why all
of us need Jesus, amen.
00:25:16.65\00:25:19.85
Because without that
we are nothing really.
00:25:19.86\00:25:23.50
If you could look into
the camera and tell somebody
00:25:23.51\00:25:26.13
that might be really
struggling with unforgiveness,
00:25:26.14\00:25:30.06
just give them a word of hope.
00:25:30.07\00:25:31.75
Yeah, you know as
difficult it seems to you
00:25:31.76\00:25:35.78
right now you may sitting
there and a saying to yourself,
00:25:35.79\00:25:38.57
I can do that. Well
you know you really can't,
00:25:38.58\00:25:42.95
but you can with
God. You call upon Jesus,
00:25:44.02\00:25:47.28
and you know it's not
just calling ones or twice,
00:25:47.29\00:25:50.84
it's sitting down kneeling
down before God everyday.
00:25:50.85\00:25:55.32
Maybe twice day, maybe
three times a day and say,
00:25:56.01\00:25:59.03
Lord, I know you
want me to do this,
00:25:59.04\00:26:00.55
give me the strength to do this,
00:26:00.76\00:26:02.73
I want to walk with
you in all fullness,
00:26:02.74\00:26:06.38
I want the love and
the joy and the peace
00:26:07.30\00:26:10.16
to reign in my
heart that you can give.
00:26:10.17\00:26:13.01
And you know God will give you
the strength to ask forgiveness
00:26:13.73\00:26:19.64
for the things
that you've done wrong
00:26:19.65\00:26:21.31
and forgive those things that
were done that hurts to you.
00:26:21.32\00:26:25.72
Amen, amen brother, I was just
thinking of the scripture too,
00:26:25.73\00:26:30.49
it's in Second
Corinthians 5 hence in verse 16,
00:26:30.50\00:26:35.04
and this help me,
yeah. It's Paul's writing,
00:26:35.05\00:26:38.34
he says consequently,
from now on we no longer
00:26:38.35\00:26:41.50
regard anyone from a
purely human point of view,
00:26:41.51\00:26:45.05
even though we
once did look upon
00:26:45.06\00:26:47.11
on Christ like from
the human point of you.
00:26:47.12\00:26:49.33
You know ask God to
help you see that person
00:26:50.17\00:26:54.05
who hurt you
from his perspective.
00:26:54.06\00:26:56.72
That they were
lost and suffering,
00:26:56.73\00:26:59.16
and anybody who is running
around doing these things,
00:26:59.17\00:27:01.52
I don't care if they
call themselves a Christian.
00:27:01.53\00:27:03.29
That's right. If
they're hurting others
00:27:03.30\00:27:04.65
in such a way particularly
in infertility or divorce, yes.
00:27:04.66\00:27:07.89
They're not, I mean they
are not walking with God,
00:27:07.90\00:27:10.39
they're lost
and suffering. Yeah,
00:27:10.40\00:27:11.89
and you're not knowing the
joy that they can have, amen.
00:27:11.90\00:27:14.63
But, remember if you
have had that kind of sin
00:27:14.64\00:27:18.23
in your life God
forgives, amen, amen.
00:27:18.24\00:27:21.60
And you can be set
free, amen, amen, amen.
00:27:21.61\00:27:23.77
Richard, thank you so
much for being with us today.
00:27:23.78\00:27:26.13
You are welcome. And I
know we're gonna come back
00:27:26.14\00:27:27.78
and do another
program on children
00:27:27.79\00:27:30.27
and how your children
are effected by the divorce
00:27:30.28\00:27:32.72
and how you can
minimize the risk
00:27:32.73\00:27:35.23
of carrying that
weight throughout their life.
00:27:35.24\00:27:38.58
So, I am so glad that
you've joined us today
00:27:38.69\00:27:41.37
and hope you'll
tune in again next time.
00:27:41.38\00:27:43.47
And until we see
each other again,
00:27:43.48\00:27:45.54
may the grace of
the Lord Jesus Christ,
00:27:45.55\00:27:47.89
the love of the Father and
fellowship of the Holy Spirit
00:27:47.90\00:27:51.17
be with you.
Thanks for joining us.
00:27:51.18\00:27:54.21