Participants: Shelley Quinn (Host), Linda Brawner
Series Code: IAA
Program Code: IAA000189
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00:31 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn and welcome again
00:33 to Issues and Answers. You know we're all 00:36 very much aware that life has a lot of issues 00:40 that get thrown at us. But aren't we glad 00:42 to know that God has all the answers. 00:45 And today we're going to see how the Lord 00:48 helped provide some of those answers 00:50 for our special guest. Please help me 00:53 welcome again to our program Linda Brawner 00:56 from Mansfield, Ohio. And Linda, 00:58 I'm so glad that you've come back to join us. 01:00 It's good to be here. I enjoyed so much 01:02 the program that we did on grief before. 01:05 And today we're gonna be talking about 01:08 strength, strength of character 01:11 and where it comes from? You know the Bible 01:13 says in Second Corinthians 12 01:15 and verse 9, this is what Jesus told Paul 01:18 on the road to Damascus. He said my grace 01:22 is sufficient for you, my strength is made 01:25 perfect in your weakness. Actually that 01:28 wasn't the road to Damascus, 01:29 that's when he was praying for the thorn. 01:30 But that's such a great scripture. 01:33 This is one of my favorites. It, me too, 01:36 because I love the fact that I can relax 01:40 in my weakness and just say Lord 01:42 I gladly confess my weaknesses to you 01:45 because I know your power will be made 01:47 perfect in weakness. Let's talk about 01:49 the last time you were here, we talked 01:52 about the nervous breakdown that 01:54 you'd had after the death of your father 01:56 and that was brought on because Linda 01:59 tried to deny her grief. She tried to deny 02:02 that she was mad at God and she wasn't 02:05 handling this very well and it ended up that 02:07 she did have a nervous breakdown. 02:09 And as you were coming out of the recovery 02:12 of this break down then your husband was 02:15 diagnosed with chronic illness of 02:18 heart problem, yes. After his surgery 02:20 he had kidney failure so you went through 02:24 an incredible time, and you learned a lot 02:29 about strength. Yes I did. About the time 02:34 that I actually acknowledged I had a 02:36 problem, I went to see a doctor. 02:38 I had an experience where, without words 02:45 I surrendered to God. These problems 02:47 I'm enduring are more than I can handle. 02:50 This is before your, I mean you're just in the 02:52 process of a breakdown. You know I'm sliding in; 02:55 I've not been diagnosed yet, 02:57 and but I'm definitely having problems. 03:00 I said Lord, whatever it takes bring me close 03:04 to you. And again it was just, 03:07 I looked up and I felt helpless 03:10 and I didn't say anything. 03:13 And I felt this tingling throughout my body. 03:15 As if God wanted to take me home right then 03:19 and there. And I couldn't understand it, 03:23 I didn't talk to anybody about at the time, 03:25 but that verse you mentioned; 03:27 my strength is made perfect in weakness. 03:31 I came across that the next day. 03:33 Praise the Lord. And I understood that was 03:36 what God was telling me. He was going to carry me 03:39 through what lay ahead. Praise the Lord. 03:41 I remember once as I was praying God 03:44 gave me what I call a vision. You know 03:46 when you're praying sometimes and puts 03:47 a picture in your mind. Yeah. 03:48 And this picture was a little tiny sugar ant, 03:52 and next to this ant was this huge elephant. 03:56 And suddenly the still small voice of the Lord 03:59 impressed these words upon my mind 04:01 and He said. Why would you want to try to 04:04 get by in your limited human strength, 04:06 which could be compared to this little 04:08 sugar ant next to what is available to you by 04:13 drawing on my strength which this elephant 04:16 that's millions of times greater 04:17 than this little ant. And I thought why 04:20 indeed would I? So what happened for you, 04:23 you thought you were a strong person before. 04:27 Yes. And I was strong in the sense of independent 04:30 and able to do what was right or what I thought 04:35 was right regardless of what people 04:37 thought of me. Self sufficient, independent. 04:39 Yes and those are good qualities 04:41 but they are not what God has for us. 04:44 When we lean on his strength 04:47 and it's a combination of trusting him, 04:51 letting him work in our lives 04:54 and reaching for his gifts. Amen, amen. 04:59 When we understand, you know Galatians 3:3, 05:05 the Lord said, you foolish thing, 05:07 haven't begun in the Spirit, are you now 05:09 trying to perfect it in the flesh? 05:10 We've got to understand there is nothing 05:13 we can perfect in our flesh is there? Nothing. 05:16 And what we've got to do is go to the Lord 05:20 and realize there is power in surrender. 05:22 Yes. So that's the point God got you to is 05:26 when you realize for the first time 05:28 in your life, Lord I'm losing it 05:30 and I'm ready to surrender it all to you, 05:32 what happened. He drew near me 05:36 and I wish I could say that things got better 05:38 like that and I lived happily ever I after. 05:41 But obviously I didn't, but He drew close to me 05:47 and he carried me through that. 05:49 He always shields us from more than 05:51 we can bear and when the trails are really 05:54 bad we need to remember that more than 05:57 we can bear is not more than we can handle 06:01 comfortably, more than will keep us from 06:03 cracking up having a breakdown, 06:05 but more than will cause us to lose our 06:09 faith in Him. He will never let that 06:11 be crushed out of us. Amen. You know that 06:14 scripture, you reminded me of something 06:16 because people often will say, 06:17 well God will not put on us more than we can bear 06:20 but the scripture actually says 06:21 He will not put on more temptation 06:24 than we can bear. But He will always 06:25 provided a way out. Yet in Second 06:27 Corinthians chapter 1, I'm gonna read to you 06:30 something because this is what Paul 06:32 wrote to the Corinthians he said, 06:33 we do not want you to be uninformed brethren 06:36 about the affliction and the oppressing distress 06:38 which be fell us in the province of Asia. 06:40 How we were so utterly and unbearably 06:44 weighed down and crushed that 06:47 we despaired even of life itself. 06:49 And then we felt within ourselves that 06:51 we had received the very sentence of death. 06:53 But, is that more than we can bear, yeah. 06:56 Yeah. But that was to keep us in other words 07:01 God allowed this to happen, to keep us 07:03 from trusting in and depending on ourselves 07:07 instead of interesting in God who raises 07:10 the dead. So when God, when we get to that 07:12 point of being in utter despair God 07:16 is only allowed that to happen to draw us 07:18 near as he did with you. Right. 07:19 And teach you to depend upon him. 07:21 What did he teach you about strength of 07:24 character, can you define what we we're 07:27 talking about? It's the ability to trust God 07:34 when it's all looks black. When all 07:38 your dreams have been crushed, 07:40 it looks like you will never do any of the 07:43 things that were more cherished to you. 07:46 When I had my breakdown I just about 07:47 tossed in the towel in regard to remounting 07:51 anything, to anything as a writer. 07:53 And strength is that ability to just hang 08:00 in there and trust that whatever God is doing 08:04 in your life, he is working and He will 08:08 bring you through this blackness. 08:10 As somebody who has clinical depression, 08:14 sometimes to this day I have bouts of blackness. 08:18 And I've learned to bear them patiently 08:20 and to not let myself get all upset 08:23 and worried over it because each time 08:26 He carries me through, I'm brighter 08:29 and stronger on the other side. Amen. 08:32 If you could define depression for people 08:38 you know I think it's hard for us to 08:40 understand if we're not a depressed personality, 08:44 how would you define depression Linda? 08:46 I define it as a chemical imbalance 08:49 in the brain. You cannot be happy and cheerful 08:53 if your brain is not working right. 08:55 What does it feel like? A lack of hope, 08:59 sometimes in your biology to sleep. 09:01 If it continues it can impair your judgment 09:06 to the point where suicide looks like 09:08 the only way out the only end to the pain. 09:11 An important thing if you are prone to 09:15 depression or it runs in your family is to take 09:18 it seriously to get help. Amen. 09:20 It's so much easier to treat. 09:23 It took me two years to recover from 09:25 my breakdown. If I would have started 09:28 getting medication which I knew about, 09:30 knew it was available. If I would have gone 09:32 into see a doctor six months sooner, 09:33 I probably never would have had that 09:35 recovery period. It probably would have 09:38 been a lot faster. Right. And God works 09:41 through these people. Yes. 09:44 One thing depression is not, is a lack of faith. 09:47 Amen. When I had my breakdown Christ was 09:50 holding my hand all the way. He had his arms 09:53 around me. I knew that I belonged to Him. 09:58 I knew He loved me. It just took him 10:01 and I time to put my life back together. 10:04 Amen. So don't, you know if you have a friend 10:08 who gets depressed don't assume that 10:11 they're doing something wrong spiritually. 10:13 And the strength for you came in accepting 10:19 this about yourself and just trusting 10:21 in the Lord. Yes. And leaning not on your own 10:23 understanding, right? Yes. You mentioned 10:25 my strength is made perfect in weakness. 10:27 Paul has some kind of thorn in the flesh. 10:30 Right. Some argued that was an estranged wife, 10:34 others say it was some kind of 10:35 physical infirmity. I firmly believe that 10:37 depression is my thorn in the flesh. 10:40 It is what God will use to keep me close to him 10:43 and He will use it so that I can better help 10:46 others. Praise the Lord. You know 10:48 I have a personal opinion I can't prove 10:50 this by scripture. But my belief is that 10:54 Paul's thorn in the flesh, remember 10:56 when Ananias was sent to Paul and Jesus said 10:59 I'm sending you to him to open his eyes 11:02 but you must tell him how much he will suffer 11:05 for me. I think that Paul went through 11:08 all of these hardships, the beatings 11:10 and he endured so much. I think that was 11:12 the thorn in his flesh that you know, 11:14 that's what I've always thought anyway. 11:16 That makes sense. That's what he is praying 11:18 to have removed and yet as he said in 11:20 Second Corinthians chapter 1. 11:22 God allowed these things to happen to keep Paul 11:26 close to him. And everything that God 11:28 does is for our eternal benefit. 11:29 One could argue that I could accomplish 11:32 much more if I did not have this disease. 11:35 I also deal with chronic pain which I'm sure 11:39 it contributes to the disease I need more 11:42 sleep than the average person. 11:43 I need to avoid a certain amount of 11:46 stress. But the fact is when you cannot see 11:51 God clearly you cannot serve him well. 11:54 So it doesn't matter if you can work 16 hour 11:57 days and then tap dance on your way home. 12:00 Amen. Okay now we've said that the strength 12:05 comes from God, but what is our part? 12:08 Our part is to choose to reach for it. 12:14 To say Lord I want this, I know you can carry 12:19 me through this, and we don't, 12:23 rarely do we encounter a problem say 12:27 oh thank you Lord, you can use this to make 12:29 me strong. There is a certain amount of 12:32 whaling and gnashing of teeth 12:33 and that's okay. We get to the point of 12:36 being strong by being honest with God about 12:39 how we feel and you know what worries us, 12:42 what makes us angry, what makes us afraid. 12:45 So let me paraphrase what you're saying. 12:49 When you said, our part is to choose to receive 12:52 from God. Philippians 2:13 says that God works 12:56 in us to will and to act according to his 12:59 good purpose. So our part is going into him 13:02 then and saying okay Lord. Work in me 13:06 to will, I'm willing to be made willing to do 13:08 your will. Yes. And Lord now help me step out 13:11 in faith and work in me to act. 13:13 In another words we're surrendering 13:15 to his leading choosing and looking up 13:18 and expecting to receive from him. Yes. Yes. 13:21 And I think that is probably the biggest key 13:24 to faith or to strength is expecting him 13:27 to do for us. Because there are certain 13:31 prayers we have a right to expect answers to, 13:33 anything we need to hear him 13:36 and more clearly to see him better 13:39 and to tell others about him. 13:41 He will answer that prayer. It may not be 13:46 exactly the way He expects, we expect, 13:49 but He will answer that prayer. 13:51 Yes, that's true. So what character traits, 13:55 how do we reach for those character traits 13:57 that make us strong? It takes a lot of 14:03 discipline. Not getting carried away with how 14:09 you feel. And I found a way. 14:11 Now wait a minute, what do you mean? 14:12 Well we are emotional beings. Right. 14:14 God made us to feel things. There is nothing 14:17 wrong with anger, fear, joy, happiness 14:21 but sometimes because we don't express them 14:26 appropriately they carry us off instead of 14:31 being part of a healthy life serving the Lord. 14:34 For example joy, you know if something 14:38 good happens to me and I let joy carry me off 14:42 take control well the next bump in the road 14:46 where I feel a little sad, God's not with me. 14:49 God's not blessing me. And that's not true. 14:53 And when we're angry we need to find appropriate 14:57 ways to express it. Because when we don't 15:00 as I've told you in the last show it pops out 15:03 in the most inappropriate and 15:05 hurtful ways that does so much damage to 15:08 ourselves and others. Amen, amen. 15:11 You know I failed to mention that Linda 15:14 has authored a book, precious book called 15:17 Keep Sweet. And I would like you to explain 15:21 why you titled that keep sweet 15:24 and want to tell people how to get hold of that 15:26 book, okay. It's available on my website 15:30 keepsweetforever.com. And how do we keeping 15:40 sweet is like the most important thing 15:42 a Christian can do and we do that. 15:44 But what is that mean to keep sweet? 15:46 It's very simple, don't get bitter. 15:49 That's correct. Or maybe don't stay bitter. 15:53 You know we all get exposed to things 15:56 we all have moments of bitterness 15:57 but it's not supposed to be the trend of 15:59 our lives. Yes and that's I liked 16:02 this book. She is a very engaging writer. 16:06 You've got quite a sense of humor 16:08 and as I told you the night that I read 16:10 your book, I had only had two hour sleep 16:13 the previous night and I was so worn out 16:17 and I wanted to read it before our first 16:19 program together. And when I read that book 16:21 I picked it up and I couldn't put it down 16:23 because it was very engaging, 16:25 your writing style, but it was filled with such 16:28 spiritual insight and I could tell immediately 16:31 Linda that you really do have an intimate 16:34 relationship with the Lord. Why do you think 16:38 that some people are strong while some people 16:44 just seem to fall apart at seems for any reason? 16:47 Well some of it is a lack of maturity. 16:53 My teenage daughter is more inclined to fall 16:57 apart since she rarely does it; I have very low 17:01 patience with it when it happens. 17:03 You know so, you know the longer, 17:06 the longer we walk with God the more 17:09 we see him help us, the calmer we remain. 17:12 But then sometimes we just expect for some 17:18 reason we stay in the faith 17:20 and we remind babies. We expect, 17:23 you know, we expect God if we drop our rattle 17:26 He is gonna bring it back to us. Amen. 17:28 And that if we were hungry we are going to 17:31 cry and He is gonna come right to us. 17:32 But now he wants us to learn how to dig 17:37 into scripture, how to make ourselves 17:40 available to other people in need because 17:43 when we help others whether we actually 17:47 speak about Christ or simply doing either way 17:49 we are sharing who Jesus Christ is, 17:52 that the nature of God is He loves us 17:55 and wants us happy and comfortable. 17:57 So you know even if we don't have the courage 18:01 to speak, who we are, what we do? 18:04 Is a powerful witness to the nature of God. Amen. 18:09 Now when you said dig into the scriptures 18:11 I'm gonna ask you a question that I already 18:13 know the answer to but because you 18:15 and I share something in common, 18:16 what are some of your favorite Bible 18:19 tools to study the Bible? A concordance, 18:22 an a topical Bible. The topical Bible is helpful 18:27 when you can't remember like let's say 18:30 you want to talk about the topic of how a woman 18:32 should dress modestly. You're not gonna 18:35 find a chapter in the Bible, right, 18:38 titled that. But if you look it up in the 18:41 topical Bible it would give you all the verses 18:44 that deal with the subject and it's 18:46 important on something like that to deal 18:48 with all the verses. Absolutely. 18:52 If you're gonna ever build a doctrine, 18:54 you don't wanna build it on just a scripture 18:56 to you. You wanna look at every scripture 18:58 on that topic and study it from Genesis to 19:00 Revelation, right. Right. Now you use Bible 19:02 software though too, don't you? Yes I do. 19:05 In fact my husband would be just delighted 19:09 if he would know how much I use my computer 19:12 now 'cause he was the one who dragged me 19:13 kicking and screaming in front of my monitor. 19:16 And had to put up with my fussing 19:18 and carrying on for a number of years. 19:21 But the nice thing about the software 19:25 is you've got it all and I have problems 19:28 with my neck and shoulders from waiting 19:30 on tables so many years. Lifting these heavy 19:33 books is not comfortable where as with the 19:36 computer software once you get the hang 19:38 of it you can flip from volume to volume, 19:41 from page to page in seconds. Absolutely. 19:44 And you could study with, you know 19:46 all open up and I have four or five Bibles 19:48 open at the same time and studying 19:50 comparative verse to verse 19:52 and I've got Vine's Expository. 19:55 I mean the dictionary, I have all of these Greek 19:58 concordances and dictionaries 20:01 and it's wonderful to study. 20:03 And if you are interested in 20:05 Bible software, please don't call me, 20:07 just look on the website and you can. 20:10 There's wonderful Bible packages out there. 20:12 But now in developing strength I know 20:16 from reading your book Keep Sweet 20:18 that a lot of your strength, you had a 20:21 personal relationship with the Lord before 20:24 your breakdown. Right. You realized that 20:26 after what caused the breakdown was 20:30 you building a wall between you and God. 20:33 Yes. Because you were angry with God 20:35 and not expressing it. Right. 20:36 So you learned that openness with the Lord 20:38 and then when He was drawing you out, 20:41 you kept getting deeper into the word, 20:43 your husband was drawing closer 20:45 to the Lord. So you know that Bible study 20:48 open communication with God, 20:50 dialoging with God was important. 20:52 What other factors do you think; 20:55 outside factors influence or hinder that 20:59 development of strength? Okay, 21:01 first I would like to say something about 21:02 Bible study. When I had my breakdown 21:05 my mind was functioning so poorly, 21:08 that I could not understand more than 21:11 the basics and yet I read four chapters a day 21:14 in the Bible. There is power in healing 21:19 in his words. Absolutely. We should do 21:22 everything in our power to try to understand 21:24 it. But on those days where it just 21:27 doesn't click. It's okay, keep reading. 21:30 You know Psalm 107:20, the Lord said, 21:33 He sent his word to heal me and His word 21:38 does have transforming life giving power, 21:42 it is alive and active and sharper 21:44 than any two-edged sword. So amen. 21:47 That was a good word sister. 21:49 Now Linda, back to the question, okay. 21:51 What are the outside factors that influence 21:54 or hinder the development of 21:55 our strength? There's a couple things, 21:58 lifestyle choices, okay. You know, 22:01 if you are into substance abuse. 22:03 Let's go back, let's take these one by one. 22:06 Okay. Lifestyle choices. How does, 22:08 how could that hinder or help strengthen us? 22:14 Okay. If you make bad choices in regard to our 22:17 lifestyle like choosing substances that are, 22:22 you know that harm the body, okay. 22:25 You can't hear God as clearly. 22:27 For the same reason you can't be happy 22:30 if your brain isn't right, working right. 22:32 You can't hear God if your brain 22:34 isn't working right. So whether it's alcohol 22:36 or if it's drugs, if some sort, 22:39 you're in a brain fog. You are not, 22:41 God's not going to be able to get through 22:43 as easily. And unhealthy relations outside. 22:46 Let me, let me back up that what about diet? 22:48 Definitely. Some people are actually 22:55 able to manage their depression with diet 22:58 and exercise alone. I've gone the medication 23:02 route, I would urge anybody who makes 23:04 changes and how they're managing depression 23:06 to have the guidance of a professional 23:10 because once your judgment gets impaired, 23:13 you know. Yes. You know I did some programs. 23:16 Are you familiar with Dr. Neil Nedley 23:18 he's a specialist on clinical depression 23:21 and when I did the programs with Dr. Nedley 23:23 he said if you're on a prescription 23:25 medication you never come off of it without 23:27 your doctor's supervision. Right. 23:30 But yet there are things that if you are eating 23:33 things like English walnuts or something 23:37 that is high in Omega-3 fatty acids, yes, 23:40 like the, what is it, that we sprinkle over 23:43 the, my mind went blank, wheat germ. 23:45 Not a wheat germ but we'll think of it 23:47 in a minute. But there are things that 23:49 we can do to improve mental health through 23:52 our diet and exercises well because 23:55 that improves our circulation. 23:56 What are some other things? 23:58 Our relationships. Are they healthy 24:03 relationships? So you're saying that an 24:05 unhealthy relationship can hinder you from 24:08 developing a good character traits. 24:11 Yeah, and for, you know in a mate, 24:16 in your family you want people who are 24:22 committed to the well being of the family. 24:27 Not just your own well being because 24:30 if Jerry would have dropped what he was 24:32 doing and made me the focus of his attention. 24:35 Well number one he could have died before 24:38 he had that open heart surgery, 24:39 'cause he would not have sought help from self. 24:41 And number two, he would have created 24:44 a spoiled brat. There is no, you know, 24:48 somebody who's sick does not need to be spoiled. 24:51 They may need more help than someone else 24:54 but spoiling somebody who is sick regardless 24:57 of the illness is probably the worst thing 24:59 you can do for them. That's interesting, 25:01 because I want you to even delve into that 25:05 a little bit more, okay. Are you saying that 25:07 if someone is, when you went through 25:10 your depression, if someone coddled you 25:13 too much, if they encouraged the wining, 25:18 in the complaining, and the murmuring, 25:19 you're saying you wouldn't have gotten 25:20 well as quickly as you did? Right. 25:22 In fact I did have one friend, we eventually 25:25 had to stop being friends because 25:27 she tried to fix it all the time. 25:30 And it was like candy, I loved that, 25:34 you know here my life's a shambles 25:36 and here's somebody who is willing to fix it 25:39 for me. But it's not how we were made to be, 25:43 we weren't meant to be infects forever. 25:46 We were meant to learn to walk and to grow 25:50 and to take care of our own needs to a certain 25:53 degree. So when you said she tried to fix it, 25:55 you mean physically doing things for you 25:57 or was she just so sympathetic 26:00 and understanding that she just nurtured 26:02 those negative feelings. Yeah. 26:03 So sympathetic and understanding that 26:07 she didn't, she tried but she couldn't 26:15 effectively say Linda, don't be so 26:18 self-centered, because the very nature 26:21 of any serious illness is you do focus on self 26:26 more because you do require more attention. 26:28 We're running out of time so fast. Yeah. 26:31 But let me ask you what are some things 26:33 that can actually outside influences that 26:36 can, help you strengthen personal 26:39 characteristics like, I know Bible study was 26:43 one that we mentioned. The right friends are 26:46 priceless. Friends who won't be discouraged 26:49 that you don't make a lot of improvement 26:50 but who are willing to say to you, 26:53 no you can do a little bit more. 26:55 You can get a little bit better, 'cause the next 26:58 thing you know and it may really be a 27:00 long time but all of sudden your life has 27:03 dramatically improved, inch by inch by inch. 27:06 How about the power of intercessory prayer? 27:09 Oh that is priceless. I'm sure that my life 27:14 is so wonderful because people took time 27:17 to pray. My church did not understand 27:20 what to do. I firmly believe everyone tried 27:23 their best and the one thing they got right 27:26 is they prayed and prayed and prayed. 27:29 Oh, I'm so sorry that we're out of time today 27:31 Linda but thank you so much. 27:33 You know we want to go to her website, 27:35 keepsweetforever.com and get this 27:38 wonderful book and until we can see you again. 27:41 May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, 27:44 the love of the Father and the fellowship 27:47 of the Holy Spirit be with you always. 27:49 And thank you so much for joining 27:52 us today. Amen. Thank You. |
Revised 2014-12-17