Hello, and welcome
to Issues and Answers.
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My name is Melissa Summers,
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and I want you to grab a
pen and paper really quick
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because if you were like me
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and I know that
you're going through issues,
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because Satan is
seeking whom he may destroy.
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So want you to write me
because at Issues and Answers,
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we have a committee
of Christian councils
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from around the world
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that will pray
with and for you now,
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is the Lord that
has those answers,
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but we will pray with and
for you for those answers.
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Okay, so jot it
down my email address
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is melissa.summers@3abn.org.
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And of course you
can feel free to mail us
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at Issues & Answers, PO Box 220,
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West Frankfort, Illinois 62896.
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Okay, wanted to give
you that right of the bat.
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Now, speaking of issues, today,
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we're gonna be talking about
balance in career and family.
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Is there such a
balance? Is there such a thing?
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Well, we're gonna talk about it.
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Today, we have
some special guests
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that should look
very familiar to you.
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So, ladies, we
are glad to have you,
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Aunty Linda and we have
Miss Cinda from Tiny Tots.
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Now we were thinking,
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who could talk
about raising a family,
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handling a career
better than you two.
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You have studio
filled with children,
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taping and so forth,
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but we really want to just know
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little bit more
about your personal.
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We're not trying to get
into your business, but...
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Why you're laughing?
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But we know, it has to
be a serious challenge,
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just like every
other person in the world,
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I'm sure that's
dealing with family.
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So, you know, starting
with you, career and family.
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Now, honestly, Linda
and I were talking earlier
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and we got two
sides of the spectrum.
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That's right.
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Your side, you're...
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you know, a
mother, you are a wife
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and you were
balancing that effectively.
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So what is effectively,
balancing the career?
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I think you should always
make your children feel like
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they're the most
important thing in your life.
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They're more
important than your career,
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they're more important
than social activities,
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they're more...
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They're just
very important to you.
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And a child needs to feel that.
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They need to feel
loved and they need to feel,
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I mean, your love
and they need to feel
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that they're
important in your life.
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Okay, well,
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another person to
say, I don't have a child,
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so I can't come from
my personal point of view,
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but the others, they
say, I love my children,
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that's why I have to
work, and I come home late,
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because I've got to make money.
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You know, we got to
provide for our children,
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to show them that
love to, so I mean,
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how would you explain that?
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I think by
showing your children,
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I think it's by
spending time with them.
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It's not like
just providing for them
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for their comfort,
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though that is very important,
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and both my husband and
I have very busy careers.
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He's a busy physician.
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I mean, he can work, I
mean sometimes, you know,
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he would be gone for
three days at a time,
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when he is on
call for the weekend
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and but, when he is home,
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he make sure that he
spends time with the kids.
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I make sure
that I'm never taping
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or I'm never out of town on,
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you know, speaking
engagement or doing seminars,
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if my kids are home.
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And even with the older like,
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Catie is in academy
and David is in college,
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but even now, if
she's on home leave,
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I'm gonna be there.
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Okay, so you do taping
for 3ABN for Tiny Tots.
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And what is that
schedule? And cooking, yeah.
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Okay, why and you also,
yeah, you guys come here?
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Us three girls cook together,
our other sister is not here.
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Honestly, when I got here,
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I thought you guys
were full time employees
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working everyday, I'm serious.
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You know, so I'm like,
you know, how do you this?
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Now, now for you.
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How do you see your balance?
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Because, I know immediately,
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initially it was just
gonna be the two of us,
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but you were like, honestly,
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I hope you don't
mind me saying this,
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but you were
like, well, Melissa,
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I think my sister Cinda
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could give a better perspective
on that perfect balance,
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so where do you feel,
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maybe you didn't
have that balance?
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I just...
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I didn't work until my
son was about four years old.
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And then we moved to a
youth camp in Michigan,
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where my husband was
the system manager there
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and I was right away
went into food service.
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If you know
anything about, anybody knows
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anything about food
service, it's all consuming.
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It definitely is.
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And I just poured
my heart into that.
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You know just day
and night, I mean,
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I was going to work
like at 3:30 in the morning
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and finishing at 10 at night.
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Well, I had my
son in the morning,
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where I had a little
playroom but obviously
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what Cinda was talking about
what she does with her kids,
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it wasn't necessarily
that quantity of time,
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she was giving her kids quality.
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You were
concentrating on the quality.
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I had him there,
but I wasn't with him
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and I didn't have the
quality time with him,
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but my husband
picked up the slack on that.
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I mean, my son didn't suffer
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because my husband
did everything with him.
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He took him, if
he was going to go,
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take a group canoeing,
he took our son with him.
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If he was going to go,
take him on a horse trailer,
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if he was in the shop,
he would take him with him,
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and he show him
and he explained him,
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this is how I change the
tire, you know, and he just.
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He would, he
actually involved him
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in his work which I
didn't do as much, so.
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Now, how would you advice,
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you know those having
those issues, the mothers.
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First of all explain the
void that you may have felt,
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you know seeing different,
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you know aspects of
the growth of the child
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that you missed out on possibly.
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How did that feel?
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I didn't even really
notice that void as much...
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Well, I did while I was
there, because I would come home
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and he would be sleeping,
and when I left in the morning,
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he would be sleeping
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and so that was
little bit hard for me.
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And this wasn't, you
know, totally all the time,
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this was during
some of the busier times
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like summer time when, you know,
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I was cooking seven days a week
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and I did have other days
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that we did go camping
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and we did a lot of
things with our son,
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but I just had
this ache inside of me
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to spend more time with him,
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but yet at the other
end of it I wanted to be
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able to give my
job what it needed to,
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and my husband was able
to balance both of them.
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And when my, as
my son got older,
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I really, really missed.
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you know that closeness
and I mean we're close,
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he was always
respectful, you know,
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my husband went out of his way,
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you know to do a lot of
things for him and as it was,
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how it ended up and
Cinda knows this is true
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with our son Jimmy.
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When he was gonna be married,
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he wanted his dad
to stand up with him
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in the wedding
and he said, "Mom,
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I hope you won't mind
that dad won't be beside you,
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but I really
want him beside me."
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And I was like, Jimmy,
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I'm so proud that you
love your dad that much,
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and so, they had that
strong tight bond from that
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and I'm close to him
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but I don't have that
tightness like they have.
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So coming to, you ever fear,
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feel remorseful about that?
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I do but you know,
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that is one thing
that I had to give to God,
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because you know God doesn't,
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He wants us to be
joyful happy Christians.
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Right. Right.
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And you know if I was
doing this with my son,
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you know, you can imagine
what my time with God was like.
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Perfect point, perfect
point, so that was lacking.
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Yes, that was lacking too.
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Yes, I had my
worships but they were,
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I had to hurry up and have it.
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Yes, I would pray
while I was working,
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but now that I've realized
through this thing with my son,
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that it's so important to
take that time alone with God.
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The things that I do with God,
the things that I do for God
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can never
replace my time with him.
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And so, I take time now, so
that I don't have that void,
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where I go off by myself
in the quietness of the woods,
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just me and God.
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And sometimes, I
don't have an agenda,
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just maybe
sitting there, listening
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and this summer I was out there
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and he sent this
every time I go out there,
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he sent this, little goldfinch.
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They would just
sit there and sing,
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just about as close
as we're from right here
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and I would just sit
and watch that goldfinch
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and I felt God's love and power.
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He know, we can. And peace.
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Yes, when we are in a
rat race, we can't do that.
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We have to say,
God you're first.
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You know, what I think about.
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There was a study that I've seen
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and you know it was saying,
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what is the center of your life?
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Is it God? Is it your family?
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Your children? Your work?
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Your husband, you know
or your wife, your spouse?
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And it had
different little questions
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and as you
answer these questions,
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it will show you and I
was, it was so accurate,
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and when you start realizing
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that there is a void
and what comes to my mind is
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thou shall have no
other gods before me.
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Right.
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And anything that we put
before God including family.
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I know we're talking about
balance in career and family,
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but if we have that
sort to speak balance,
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but we don't have God
in it, we're still off.
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He is the balance. Amen.
00:10:05.30\00:10:06.90
But it's knowing how to balance,
00:10:06.94\00:10:09.64
because I mean you can't,
00:10:09.67\00:10:12.81
while you can't miss your
opportunity with God everyday,
00:10:12.84\00:10:18.08
you also can't miss your
opportunity with your husband
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and your children everyday too,
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because if you're
gonna have a relationship,
00:10:22.18\00:10:24.49
you have to
nurture that relationship,
00:10:24.52\00:10:26.79
and if you let it go
biased, you know, oh,
00:10:26.82\00:10:29.59
I'm so busy today,
00:10:29.62\00:10:30.99
you know I'll send the
kids to the babysitter.
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I'll deal with
them tomorrow, you know.
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Prop them in front of the TV,
00:10:35.33\00:10:38.40
you know, give them some food,
okay, I can have my space now.
00:10:38.43\00:10:41.97
You know, since
you bring that up,
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where do you see
or how do you see
00:10:44.01\00:10:45.97
the effects of letting
TV baby sit our children?
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Don't, I
absolutely think that's wrong.
00:10:49.68\00:10:52.41
We didn't allow our
children to watch TV
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and when they got to be
00:10:57.05\00:10:59.25
even in elementary
school and middle school,
00:10:59.29\00:11:03.93
they were only allowed
to watch TV on weekends.
00:11:03.96\00:11:06.53
They could not watch
the TV on school night.
00:11:06.56\00:11:09.50
Well, guess what?
00:11:09.53\00:11:10.87
On the weekends we
would plan these activities.
00:11:10.90\00:11:13.97
We have this really neat Wyatts,
00:11:14.00\00:11:17.44
we happen to live in Knoxville
00:11:17.47\00:11:18.87
which is near
the Smoky Mountains.
00:11:18.91\00:11:20.58
So we would always
take them on picnics
00:11:20.61\00:11:22.68
and hiking and camping
00:11:22.71\00:11:25.81
and so they weren't
used to watching TV,
00:11:25.85\00:11:28.05
so they didn't ask for it.
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And my husband and I,
we had one day a week,
00:11:31.89\00:11:36.29
that no matter, we,
now it always changed,
00:11:36.32\00:11:38.69
but we always did it date night,
00:11:38.73\00:11:41.26
because I also think
00:11:41.30\00:11:42.63
it's important
for the kids to see
00:11:42.66\00:11:45.07
that their parents
have a strong relationship.
00:11:45.10\00:11:47.27
Right, right.
00:11:47.30\00:11:48.64
It's a best gift you can give
00:11:48.67\00:11:50.01
to your children
is to love, you know.
00:11:50.04\00:11:52.24
Yeah, love one another.
00:11:52.27\00:11:53.61
You should let
your children see you,
00:11:53.64\00:11:57.18
hugging your husband
or kissing him goodbye,
00:11:57.21\00:11:59.58
I'm not talking about anything,
00:11:59.61\00:12:01.62
you know, intimate or you know.
00:12:01.65\00:12:03.45
I'm saying, just like goodbye,
honey or let him hear you say.
00:12:03.49\00:12:08.09
You know, have a good day honey,
00:12:08.12\00:12:09.46
I love you, give him a
kiss, let your kids see,
00:12:09.49\00:12:12.79
John and I always hold hands
00:12:12.83\00:12:14.46
when we're walking, always have.
00:12:14.50\00:12:16.90
Now doesn't that set a
precedence for children
00:12:16.93\00:12:19.33
as they grow up to, you know,
have families of their own,
00:12:19.37\00:12:24.14
and they saw mom and dad
00:12:24.17\00:12:25.97
relate to one
another in this way,
00:12:26.01\00:12:27.78
so this must be the way.
00:12:27.81\00:12:29.14
Right.
00:12:29.18\00:12:30.51
But that says a lot, you know,
00:12:30.55\00:12:32.01
and that's a whole
different program talking about,
00:12:32.05\00:12:35.25
you know, single parent family,
00:12:35.28\00:12:37.82
which believe it
or not is the majority
00:12:37.85\00:12:39.85
at least in the United States,
00:12:39.89\00:12:41.66
but that's a whole
different show, but.
00:12:41.69\00:12:43.02
But I was getting
back to the date night,
00:12:43.06\00:12:45.19
we also made, so once
a week, um, oh, goodness,
00:12:45.23\00:12:49.56
we've done this
for 20 or more years.
00:12:49.60\00:12:51.70
We always went out on a date,
00:12:51.73\00:12:54.17
just Joel and I
but we made that night
00:12:54.20\00:12:56.84
very special for the children.
00:12:56.87\00:12:59.27
We had a
babysitter and you know,
00:12:59.31\00:13:00.91
God blesses this
wonderful nursing student that,
00:13:00.94\00:13:03.45
you know, she
was their babysitter.
00:13:03.48\00:13:04.81
And they still love her,
and they still love Velvet.
00:13:04.85\00:13:07.15
They still.
00:13:07.18\00:13:09.08
You hear that, hear
that, they still love her,
00:13:09.12\00:13:11.95
taking some of mommy's love.
00:13:11.99\00:13:13.89
I mean, we made
that the special night.
00:13:13.92\00:13:16.83
Whenever we had date night,
they got to choose the video
00:13:16.86\00:13:21.46
and they got to have a treat.
00:13:21.50\00:13:23.23
They got to have, you know
ice cream sundae or you know,
00:13:23.26\00:13:27.30
something that was a treat.
00:13:27.34\00:13:28.67
And her kids are like,
00:13:28.70\00:13:30.04
mommy isn't time
for your date night?
00:13:30.07\00:13:31.47
They would.
00:13:31.51\00:13:32.84
We'll talk about
teaching them about health
00:13:32.87\00:13:34.21
and that some
day we'll go there.
00:13:34.24\00:13:36.75
But you know, if we could do
like a chronological list for,
00:13:36.78\00:13:41.22
you know, families
and I love the date night,
00:13:41.25\00:13:44.05
so we would say, you
know, establishing a relation
00:13:44.09\00:13:46.49
before the
children, planned activities.
00:13:46.52\00:13:48.96
Now what I want
really loved is the activity
00:13:48.99\00:13:51.19
that you were saying.
00:13:51.23\00:13:52.56
These activities
are our out in nature.
00:13:52.59\00:13:54.66
Where do you
learn about God most?
00:13:54.70\00:13:57.10
But in nature, aside
from of course the Bible,
00:13:57.13\00:14:00.00
and these are things that
we need to teach our children.
00:14:00.04\00:14:02.84
I mean again, I don't have
any children but am I right?
00:14:02.87\00:14:05.01
Yes. Oh, exactly.
00:14:05.04\00:14:06.37
And, you know, while I
said that it's important to,
00:14:06.41\00:14:10.71
take care of
their physical needs,
00:14:10.75\00:14:12.08
you know food,
sleep, you know, that.
00:14:12.11\00:14:15.55
But you need to incorporate
00:14:15.58\00:14:17.12
where they know you're
spending time with him.
00:14:17.15\00:14:19.79
By that, I mean
00:14:19.82\00:14:21.19
when I would
talk to my children,
00:14:21.22\00:14:23.66
bend down and
get at their level,
00:14:23.79\00:14:25.53
look them in the eye.
00:14:25.56\00:14:26.90
Don't just look down and
go, okay, honey, mommy knows.
00:14:26.93\00:14:29.73
It's almost like yeah, yeah.
00:14:29.83\00:14:31.17
Mommy is busy or you know...
00:14:31.20\00:14:32.53
I'm on the
phone, I'm on the phone.
00:14:32.57\00:14:34.80
Or I'm so tired, kids
don't understand that.
00:14:34.84\00:14:38.61
They want what they
want, when they want it.
00:14:38.64\00:14:39.97
Yes, they don't understand.
00:14:40.01\00:14:41.64
So get down on their level
and that alone, by you just,
00:14:41.68\00:14:46.28
you know scrunching down
and getting in their level,
00:14:46.31\00:14:49.15
that says you have my attention.
00:14:49.18\00:14:52.05
You know, go ahead, tell
me, 'cause I'm listening.
00:14:52.09\00:14:55.36
Well, I know, I've
seen you Cinda too,
00:14:55.39\00:14:57.79
like if she is on a
phone call and her kid,
00:14:57.83\00:15:01.16
Catie want something
or David wanted something,
00:15:01.20\00:15:03.70
she would say to
the person on the phone,
00:15:03.73\00:15:05.30
excuse me just a moment.
00:15:05.33\00:15:06.97
Put the phone down
00:15:07.00\00:15:08.34
and get look
into the yes and say,
00:15:08.37\00:15:09.70
mommy is on the phone right now
00:15:09.74\00:15:11.07
and I'll help you
as soon as I'm on,
00:15:11.11\00:15:13.44
you know, I'm through
and then she would say,
00:15:13.48\00:15:15.74
okay, you run along.
00:15:15.78\00:15:17.11
Okay now, we're ready now.
00:15:17.15\00:15:18.48
That's because that teaching
them respect and patience.
00:15:18.51\00:15:23.75
And you know, I
just go back to you know,
00:15:23.79\00:15:25.59
raising a child in
the way he should go
00:15:25.62\00:15:27.66
and when he is old he
will not depart from it.
00:15:27.69\00:15:30.33
So when we start
establishing this character,
00:15:30.36\00:15:33.90
you know, or
fruits of the spirit
00:15:33.93\00:15:35.86
so to speak as little children,
00:15:35.90\00:15:37.97
because they say
children come out of the womb
00:15:38.00\00:15:40.47
wanting and demanding.
00:15:40.50\00:15:42.04
You know crying
00:15:42.07\00:15:43.41
when they want
milk and so forth.
00:15:43.44\00:15:44.77
That's right.
00:15:44.81\00:15:46.14
You know, so, nurturing is
00:15:46.17\00:15:47.51
and teaching them this patience.
00:15:47.54\00:15:48.88
Right.
00:15:48.91\00:15:50.25
You know, also
appointments that we have
00:15:50.28\00:15:52.41
and you know some people
may not like to hear this
00:15:52.45\00:15:54.92
but I don't think there is
an appointment that we have
00:15:54.95\00:15:58.55
that's more
important than your child.
00:15:58.59\00:16:01.02
If your child needs you...
00:16:01.06\00:16:02.39
Except for our
appointment with God,
00:16:02.42\00:16:03.76
I know what you're saying.
00:16:03.79\00:16:05.13
Right, but you
know what I'm saying.
00:16:05.16\00:16:06.49
I mean, you know like,
just what 2 months ago,
00:16:06.53\00:16:10.67
Catie and I had
been traveling together.
00:16:10.70\00:16:15.37
So Catie is your daughter?
00:16:15.40\00:16:16.74
Catie is my daughter,
and she's in the academy,
00:16:16.77\00:16:18.37
at Highland
Academy in near Nashville.
00:16:18.41\00:16:20.01
And she is the one that
does cooking on Kids' Time.
00:16:20.04\00:16:21.91
Okay, yeah, little
Catie. Cooking on Kids' Time.
00:16:21.94\00:16:23.48
Yes.
00:16:23.51\00:16:24.85
And we had flown into Nashville
00:16:24.88\00:16:27.62
and driven an hour to the school
00:16:27.65\00:16:30.02
and then I dropped
her off at the school
00:16:30.05\00:16:32.65
in Nashville, in Highland
00:16:32.69\00:16:34.02
and then I drove
three hours to home.
00:16:34.06\00:16:37.43
And this was, I just
got to the edge of Nash,
00:16:37.46\00:16:41.16
I mean Knoxville,
00:16:41.20\00:16:42.83
and it was like
10 o'clock at night.
00:16:42.86\00:16:44.43
And how many hours was that?
00:16:44.47\00:16:45.97
Well, I've already
been driving four hours,
00:16:46.00\00:16:49.04
because it's a three hour trip
to the school from Knoxville
00:16:49.07\00:16:53.31
and plus, I come
from the airport,
00:16:53.34\00:16:55.04
so but a whole
bunch were driving,
00:16:55.08\00:16:57.41
but anyways I got ride
to fours hours a drive,
00:16:57.45\00:17:00.48
but I got to the
edge of Knoxville,
00:17:00.52\00:17:03.35
my phone ring
and it was the dean
00:17:03.39\00:17:06.99
and she says it's
10 or 10:30 at night
00:17:07.02\00:17:09.72
and she said
Catie is just vomiting
00:17:09.76\00:17:13.19
and vomiting and she said,
00:17:13.23\00:17:15.93
she's already you
know vomit around,
00:17:15.96\00:17:18.37
how many times and
she's sick and I said,
00:17:18.40\00:17:22.40
well, does she have the fever?
00:17:22.44\00:17:23.87
Oh, no.
00:17:23.91\00:17:25.24
I mean I used to be a
nurse, so it was like okay.
00:17:25.27\00:17:28.64
You still are.
I'm still a nurse.
00:17:28.68\00:17:31.61
Because I don't it...
Your momma finish that as well.
00:17:31.65\00:17:33.95
Okay, but I said,
uh, food poisoning,
00:17:33.98\00:17:38.65
because she had
eaten at a fast food place
00:17:38.69\00:17:41.26
in the airport had a sandwich,
00:17:41.29\00:17:42.96
which I had from,
you know, a chain.
00:17:42.99\00:17:46.59
And lettuces
00:17:46.63\00:17:49.06
and she had mostly
lettuce on the sandwich
00:17:49.10\00:17:51.13
and lettuce is very
high in for food poisoning.
00:17:51.17\00:17:54.27
You have to be really careful,
00:17:54.30\00:17:55.67
so I knew she
had food poisoning,
00:17:55.70\00:17:57.37
so you know, I thought, I said,
00:17:57.41\00:18:00.28
you know what, I
didn't even hesitate,
00:18:00.31\00:18:02.58
I took the first exit
and I drove three hours
00:18:02.61\00:18:06.38
all the way back to the school.
00:18:06.41\00:18:08.52
I said to the
dean, I will be there,
00:18:08.55\00:18:10.55
1, 2, about 10, 11,12,
1 o'clock in the morning,
00:18:10.59\00:18:14.52
I said I'll be there by
1 o'clock in the morning
00:18:14.56\00:18:16.73
and I start, I
turn the car around
00:18:16.76\00:18:20.56
and started the three hour trip
all the way back to the school
00:18:20.60\00:18:23.26
because I
didn't want Catie to be
00:18:23.30\00:18:26.67
there in the
dorm room, that sick,
00:18:26.70\00:18:30.44
even though I knew that,
you know it probably 24 hours,
00:18:30.47\00:18:34.14
she would be okay,
00:18:34.18\00:18:36.08
but I called my
husband and I said,
00:18:36.11\00:18:39.11
can you call in a
prescription to a pharmacy,
00:18:39.15\00:18:41.98
you know on the way.
00:18:42.02\00:18:43.39
And so, he found the pharmacy
that was open at midnight
00:18:43.42\00:18:47.29
and I swung off the freeway
and got her some medication.
00:18:47.32\00:18:51.76
Drove three
hours all the way back,
00:18:51.79\00:18:53.19
so now I've been
driving seven hours, then...
00:18:53.23\00:18:55.60
'Cause you
brought her back with you.
00:18:55.63\00:18:56.97
'Cause I brought her back, yeah,
00:18:57.00\00:18:58.33
so then I turned around
00:18:58.37\00:18:59.70
and drove three hours back home.
00:18:59.73\00:19:02.50
So she could be in
her own bed with mommy.
00:19:02.54\00:19:03.87
So she could be in
her own bed with me,
00:19:03.91\00:19:06.24
helping take care of in
her familiar surrounding.
00:19:06.27\00:19:09.24
You know so that,
she could recover...
00:19:09.28\00:19:11.98
And, she's an independent child,
00:19:12.01\00:19:13.62
so it's not like she...
00:19:13.65\00:19:14.98
No, but she was so sick,
00:19:15.02\00:19:16.35
but it was like and
you know afterwards,
00:19:16.38\00:19:18.35
Catie wrote me a
letter and she said, mom,
00:19:18.39\00:19:20.59
she said, I cannot believe,
you would drive all night,
00:19:20.62\00:19:23.99
just so I can spend 24 hours
in my bed just to recuperate.
00:19:24.03\00:19:28.50
She said that
meant the world to me.
00:19:28.53\00:19:30.37
And she will never
forget that. That's right.
00:19:30.40\00:19:32.90
I mean, that's a sacrifice.
00:19:32.93\00:19:34.94
That says so much,
you know when you...
00:19:34.97\00:19:37.11
Yeah, of course, we love
our children but to sacrifice,
00:19:37.14\00:19:41.21
nothing else aside from
God before our children.
00:19:41.24\00:19:43.85
That's what I'm saying.
00:19:43.88\00:19:45.21
You could, it's
things like that that show,
00:19:45.25\00:19:47.38
it's spending
your time, you know,
00:19:47.42\00:19:51.15
you could take your kids...
00:19:51.19\00:19:52.52
Your quality, you
don't always have quantity.
00:19:52.55\00:19:55.36
If you don't have
quantity, that's okay.
00:19:55.39\00:19:57.73
Just let your kids know
that you're there for them.
00:19:57.76\00:20:00.80
If you know,
00:20:00.83\00:20:02.66
I wanted my kids to know
that I would drop whatever.
00:20:02.70\00:20:05.93
I never even thought twice
about turning that car around.
00:20:05.97\00:20:09.17
I never thought twice
about not helping her.
00:20:09.20\00:20:13.68
Oh, she'll be,
you know, I'm a nurse,
00:20:13.71\00:20:15.54
I know she'll be ready,
she'll be okay in 24 hours,
00:20:15.58\00:20:19.91
but it was,
00:20:19.95\00:20:21.28
I wanted her to feel
the comfort and the love.
00:20:21.32\00:20:24.19
Those are gifts of love
00:20:24.22\00:20:27.26
that you can't buy at a store.
00:20:27.29\00:20:29.79
You know it's easy when,
00:20:29.82\00:20:31.33
you know, we think
what can we get our kids,
00:20:31.36\00:20:32.89
you know and we try to find
this perfect gift to give him,
00:20:32.93\00:20:36.60
which you know probably
ends up on the shelf for
00:20:36.63\00:20:38.73
they don't even hardly look at.
00:20:38.77\00:20:40.20
But when you wrap up
gifts of love like this
00:20:40.24\00:20:42.97
and give them to a child,
00:20:43.00\00:20:45.87
that's just and
I had a lot of...
00:20:45.91\00:20:48.14
God's so gracious.
00:20:48.18\00:20:49.98
I've had chances now
that when as my son gotten,
00:20:50.01\00:20:53.11
you know older in an academy.
00:20:53.15\00:20:54.78
But I had chances to come back
00:20:54.82\00:20:57.72
and give him some
of those gifts of love.
00:20:57.75\00:20:59.42
So God does open up
those stores for us,
00:20:59.45\00:21:02.32
if there are
parents out there saying,
00:21:02.36\00:21:03.96
I know what you mean,
00:21:03.99\00:21:05.33
I haven't spent
time with my kids
00:21:05.36\00:21:06.70
or whatever, you know what?
00:21:06.73\00:21:08.06
It's now with
Christ that counts.
00:21:08.10\00:21:09.60
We can still do
things for our kids right now
00:21:09.63\00:21:11.90
even if they're older.
00:21:11.93\00:21:13.27
And you know,
and just, you know,
00:21:13.30\00:21:14.64
some of the reading
that I've done in the counsel
00:21:14.67\00:21:16.30
that we have of
course, you know and the Bible
00:21:16.34\00:21:18.41
and you know other writers,
00:21:18.44\00:21:20.51
I know there's a
writer called Ellen G.
00:21:20.54\00:21:22.44
White who is truly my favorite.
00:21:22.48\00:21:24.38
And she has a book
called child guidance.
00:21:24.41\00:21:27.12
And absolutely incredible book
00:21:27.15\00:21:28.68
and it says how we have
to put our families first,
00:21:28.72\00:21:31.95
I mean what I
think about is Mary,
00:21:31.99\00:21:35.66
she had to
devote her time to raise
00:21:35.69\00:21:37.76
the most important being of
the universe which is Jesus,
00:21:37.79\00:21:42.23
and she had to make time
00:21:42.26\00:21:43.77
because that was where he
got his first vision of heaven
00:21:43.80\00:21:47.90
and what God was
like and the character.
00:21:47.94\00:21:50.14
It was through, you know,
00:21:50.17\00:21:51.61
the need of his
mother and of course,
00:21:51.64\00:21:53.34
God's word and nature.
00:21:53.38\00:21:55.61
So to hear this and of
course, I always go back,
00:21:55.64\00:21:57.71
I go back to your
planned activities
00:21:57.75\00:21:59.65
and being out there.
00:21:59.68\00:22:01.28
And like you said,
Linda, when we see...
00:22:01.32\00:22:05.05
you know, where
we've fallen short
00:22:05.09\00:22:06.79
with giving our children
00:22:06.82\00:22:08.42
and raising them and
given them that time.
00:22:08.46\00:22:10.06
It's never too
late, even as adults.
00:22:10.09\00:22:12.79
No, my daughter-in-law
is expecting another child.
00:22:12.83\00:22:18.30
I have one grandson.
00:22:18.33\00:22:19.87
You're a grandmother.
I wouldn't say granny.
00:22:19.90\00:22:23.10
Okay. Oh, my goodness.
00:22:23.14\00:22:24.71
And he's like 18 months
00:22:24.74\00:22:26.21
and their other it's
due the end of September,
00:22:26.24\00:22:28.18
maybe the first of October.
00:22:28.21\00:22:30.05
Well, my son
called up and he said,
00:22:30.08\00:22:32.01
mom do you think
you and dad could come,
00:22:32.05\00:22:34.58
they live in Ohio,
00:22:34.62\00:22:36.52
where my son's a
nuclear technologist there
00:22:36.55\00:22:38.59
and he is very busy.
00:22:38.62\00:22:39.95
Wait a minute, you
sounds like who and a what?
00:22:39.99\00:22:42.86
He's a nuclear technologist.
00:22:42.89\00:22:44.23
He works at Kettering
Adventist Hospital there.
00:22:44.26\00:22:46.83
Okay. Okay.
00:22:46.86\00:22:48.20
So, I mean, he has...
00:22:48.23\00:22:49.56
God's really
blessed him with a good job
00:22:49.60\00:22:51.20
and a wonderful family
and he is a wonderful daddy,
00:22:51.23\00:22:54.27
I have, I mean,
I can't tell you,
00:22:54.30\00:22:56.60
it's just so
exciting to watch him
00:22:56.64\00:22:58.87
do things for his own son now,
00:22:58.91\00:23:02.34
modeling what his
daddy has done for him
00:23:02.38\00:23:05.38
and things I've done, you know,
00:23:05.41\00:23:07.02
God's allowed me to do
things with him, you know too.
00:23:07.05\00:23:10.22
But the incredible
thing is that he called up
00:23:10.25\00:23:12.55
and he said, will
you come and watch Jack,
00:23:12.59\00:23:15.66
while you know,
she goes into labor
00:23:15.69\00:23:18.76
and we said yes, we
will take a week off
00:23:18.79\00:23:21.03
and do that, and he
said, you would do that for me?
00:23:21.06\00:23:23.20
He said that means so much
00:23:23.23\00:23:24.87
and so we had to
cancel some things
00:23:24.90\00:23:27.77
and you know I like
they were important to let
00:23:27.80\00:23:30.67
and re-juggle
commitments to say yes,
00:23:30.71\00:23:33.17
we will be here to go for you
00:23:33.21\00:23:36.34
and that was
exciting to be able to do that
00:23:36.38\00:23:38.55
'cause it meant a lot to him.
00:23:38.58\00:23:40.25
And it had meant a
lot for you. Right.
00:23:40.28\00:23:42.58
Because, you know,
00:23:42.62\00:23:44.05
I just really want to encourage,
00:23:44.09\00:23:45.85
you know those that are watching
00:23:45.89\00:23:47.36
and or listening to us,
00:23:47.39\00:23:49.12
because it's never to
late to fill in the void,
00:23:49.16\00:23:52.79
they just felt you may have had.
00:23:52.83\00:23:54.76
But you know what, I
also want to stress is,
00:23:54.80\00:23:57.07
you know right
now we're taking about
00:23:57.10\00:23:58.70
our kids being older but,
when my kids were littler,
00:23:58.73\00:24:02.50
it's like you
have meals to get out
00:24:02.54\00:24:06.01
or you're so
busy, involve the kids.
00:24:06.04\00:24:10.45
I would set them on the counter,
00:24:10.48\00:24:13.11
exactly and you know
kids learned from you,
00:24:13.15\00:24:16.42
so how you talk to your kids,
00:24:16.45\00:24:18.82
you hear them talking
to other people like that.
00:24:18.85\00:24:21.72
And don't
children act things out
00:24:21.76\00:24:23.39
with each other as well?
00:24:23.43\00:24:24.76
Yes.
00:24:24.79\00:24:26.13
So, you know, you
need to be careful,
00:24:26.16\00:24:27.70
how you talk to your kids,
00:24:27.73\00:24:29.06
how you relate your kids
00:24:29.10\00:24:30.43
and how you
relate to other people.
00:24:30.47\00:24:32.60
Okay, ladies. Okay.
00:24:32.63\00:24:34.84
I'm looking at a time,
00:24:34.87\00:24:36.20
we have like three
minutes and nineteen seconds.
00:24:36.24\00:24:38.51
I don't have a child
and if the Lord blesses
00:24:38.54\00:24:40.61
that I remarry and that possibly
00:24:40.64\00:24:42.61
I have a child, what
advice would you give to me
00:24:42.64\00:24:45.31
on both sides
of the spectrum as,
00:24:45.35\00:24:47.42
you know, a career woman
and finding that balance?
00:24:47.45\00:24:50.69
Both of you.
00:24:50.72\00:24:52.05
Spend as much time with
your children as possible.
00:24:52.09\00:24:54.86
Read to them and we...
00:24:54.89\00:24:58.63
I would always have worship
00:24:58.66\00:25:00.30
every morning with the children
00:25:00.33\00:25:02.53
and I stress to
them, family worship.
00:25:02.56\00:25:05.23
My husband was not always there
00:25:05.27\00:25:06.60
because he leaves the house
at 5 o'clock every morning.
00:25:06.63\00:25:09.67
But sometimes, you didn't have
time to have it right there,
00:25:09.70\00:25:11.94
you would have it
on the way to school
00:25:11.97\00:25:14.74
and as they got older,
00:25:14.78\00:25:16.11
have one of them
read the worship verse.
00:25:16.14\00:25:17.48
So they would
take turns reading.
00:25:17.51\00:25:18.85
One would read the worship,
one would have the prayer.
00:25:18.88\00:25:20.98
She'd go dada,
my turn for prayer.
00:25:21.02\00:25:23.42
Oh, how older she'd been?
00:25:23.45\00:25:24.79
I mean, oh, yeah, little,
she called him dada or bubba
00:25:24.82\00:25:28.52
and she'd say, I
can't read bubba,
00:25:28.56\00:25:31.26
you read, I'll pray.
00:25:31.29\00:25:32.63
She would tell her grandmother.
00:25:32.66\00:25:35.76
But do you think
still that at the age
00:25:35.80\00:25:38.23
where they can barely taught.
00:25:38.27\00:25:39.60
Right. Wow.
00:25:39.63\00:25:40.97
And so they knew,
that I mean they helped,
00:25:41.00\00:25:43.47
they helped with the worship
but we always had worship
00:25:43.51\00:25:46.01
and then in the
morning and I told them
00:25:46.04\00:25:48.88
that you always
have to ask Jesus
00:25:48.91\00:25:51.11
into your heart everyday,
00:25:51.15\00:25:53.78
because Jesus doesn't
just come in your heart.
00:25:53.82\00:25:56.58
So you have to ask
him in every morning.
00:25:56.62\00:25:59.32
So that was
important, we started the day
00:25:59.35\00:26:01.59
and even if we were in a hurry,
like Linda said, I forgot that,
00:26:01.62\00:26:05.16
we would have it in the car.
00:26:05.19\00:26:07.10
And I remember Catie would
go, mama don't close your eyes,
00:26:07.13\00:26:11.53
I can't drive it.
00:26:11.57\00:26:12.90
That's a wise child.
00:26:12.93\00:26:14.80
And then she go, she
goes like this, she go,
00:26:14.84\00:26:16.94
bubba are your eyes closed?
00:26:16.97\00:26:21.11
We can tell that you're
used to doing Tiny Tots.
00:26:21.14\00:26:24.21
And what about you, Linda?
00:26:24.25\00:26:25.75
I would say that the
very most important thing
00:26:25.78\00:26:29.48
is to start your day
out first with God yourself,
00:26:29.52\00:26:32.25
because we cannot give our kids
what we do not have ourselves
00:26:32.29\00:26:35.69
and so we need to
ask him to fill us,
00:26:35.72\00:26:38.59
so full of His Holy Spirit
'cause we need the wisdom,
00:26:38.63\00:26:41.63
we need the strength
to get through the day,
00:26:41.66\00:26:43.30
we need courage
to face the things
00:26:43.33\00:26:45.23
that everyday families
have to face in this world
00:26:45.27\00:26:48.20
and there is a
lot of unhappiness,
00:26:48.24\00:26:49.60
unpleasant things,
but we can have the joy,
00:26:49.64\00:26:51.67
even though we may have
tears because of our humanness.
00:26:51.71\00:26:54.41
If we have started
our day out with God,
00:26:54.44\00:26:56.81
we know he's first,
00:26:56.85\00:26:58.18
He is the one we
are gonna run to.
00:26:58.21\00:26:59.55
Okay, Lord, this
kids having a problem,
00:26:59.58\00:27:01.48
what do you want me to do?
00:27:01.52\00:27:02.85
How do you want me
to handle this, Lord?
00:27:02.88\00:27:04.22
The kids will see
that, that's important
00:27:04.25\00:27:07.62
that you've made
God first in your life
00:27:07.66\00:27:09.52
and that will have
an effect on them too.
00:27:09.56\00:27:11.29
Well, the kids
don't always, I mean...
00:27:11.33\00:27:13.86
We saw our mother
praying and reading her Bible,
00:27:13.90\00:27:16.97
and even though we
didn't understand it,
00:27:17.00\00:27:19.20
we saw there was
some connection there.
00:27:19.23\00:27:21.40
But I'm saying even
if the kids don't see
00:27:21.44\00:27:23.47
you having your worship,
make sure that you have worship
00:27:23.51\00:27:26.41
every morning
with your children.
00:27:26.44\00:27:27.94
Yes, Miss Cinda and Aunty Linda.
00:27:27.98\00:27:31.45
Thank you so much
for being with us,
00:27:31.48\00:27:33.25
and thank you so
much for joining us.
00:27:33.28\00:27:35.18
We pray that the Lord has sent
00:27:35.22\00:27:37.52
a special message just for you.
00:27:37.55\00:27:39.39
And remember,
balance in career and family,
00:27:39.42\00:27:42.22
there is a balance.
00:27:42.26\00:27:43.59
That balance is none
other than the heavenly Father
00:27:43.63\00:27:46.36
and He will
show you where it is.
00:27:46.39\00:27:48.26
Okay, and until next
time, be eternally bless
00:27:48.30\00:27:51.17
we're praying with and for you.
00:27:51.20\00:27:53.07
Talk to you then. Okay,
next time, love you, bye.
00:27:53.10\00:27:55.60