Hello and welcome to Heaven's Point of View. 00:00:15.54\00:00:18.38 Our Series is on Love, Marriage, Sex, and Divorce 00:00:18.41\00:00:23.08 from the New Testament perspective. 00:00:23.12\00:00:25.92 Our featured Host is Dr. Tom Sheperd. 00:00:25.95\00:00:28.69 He is the Professor of New Testament Interpretation 00:00:28.72\00:00:32.36 at Andrews University. 00:00:32.39\00:00:33.73 He is the Director for the Ph. D. 00:00:33.76\00:00:36.60 and Th. D. Programs in that arena there 00:00:36.63\00:00:40.30 and he is also an MPH and Doctor of Public Health as well. 00:00:40.34\00:00:46.04 So, you just wear a number of hats don't you? 00:00:46.07\00:00:48.88 Yes and in this Series we kind of combine this again, 00:00:48.94\00:00:53.45 most of our focus is on what the Scriptures say 00:00:53.52\00:00:55.92 but we also take a look at what some of the statistics are 00:00:55.95\00:01:01.22 about marriage, about sexual experience, 00:01:01.26\00:01:04.49 about divorce 00:01:04.53\00:01:05.89 so that people understand some of the gravity 00:01:05.93\00:01:10.30 of the problems 00:01:10.33\00:01:12.03 and get an idea of the changes that are taking place 00:01:12.07\00:01:16.60 in our Society. 00:01:16.64\00:01:18.07 Yes and today we're going to talk about divorce 00:01:18.14\00:01:22.11 and look at it statistically and Biblically. 00:01:22.14\00:01:25.35 Right. 00:01:25.41\00:01:27.05 So, let's take a look at it, 00:01:27.08\00:01:29.95 it's a huge problem in the United States. 00:01:29.98\00:01:32.32 I'm afraid that it is, now, 00:01:32.35\00:01:33.69 people who live in other countries 00:01:33.72\00:01:35.12 who are watching these programs 00:01:35.16\00:01:36.62 can check material from their own country 00:01:36.66\00:01:39.89 and see what the results are and where things are 00:01:39.93\00:01:42.90 but we've put together, for this program, 00:01:42.93\00:01:45.73 a series of charts, 00:01:45.80\00:01:47.30 I know sometimes people may not like statistics, 00:01:47.34\00:01:50.14 I don't know, when I studied in Public Health 00:01:50.17\00:01:52.57 we had to do a lot of Statistics' studying, 00:01:52.61\00:01:54.94 I kind of like Statistics, it's sort of fun to look at 00:01:54.98\00:01:58.28 and try to figure out what's going on 00:01:58.31\00:02:00.48 and so, that's some of what we do here, 00:02:00.52\00:02:03.49 but before we approach the statistics 00:02:03.52\00:02:05.85 and look at those kinds of figures, 00:02:05.89\00:02:08.16 I want to stress that we are Christians talking about this 00:02:08.22\00:02:12.66 and that we are called to minister to people 00:02:12.69\00:02:15.60 in whatever situation they find themselves in life. 00:02:15.63\00:02:18.43 In this last section of this series 00:02:18.47\00:02:21.10 we're looking at the question of divorce 00:02:21.14\00:02:24.07 and that's such a sad, sad experience 00:02:24.11\00:02:26.98 but there is light, there is hope, 00:02:27.04\00:02:29.84 and the church is called to minister and to help the people 00:02:29.88\00:02:33.62 and actually, seeing these statistics 00:02:33.65\00:02:35.78 is, what shall I say, 00:02:35.82\00:02:39.32 maybe kind of a helpful "wakeup call" 00:02:39.35\00:02:41.16 to the church to say, 00:02:41.19\00:02:42.52 "Wow! this is a major problem in our Society," 00:02:42.56\00:02:45.66 and our church tends to reflect the Society around it 00:02:45.69\00:02:50.23 and make up, we should take this seriously, 00:02:50.27\00:02:53.17 we should not just focus attention only on married people 00:02:53.20\00:02:56.60 or only on young people, 00:02:56.64\00:02:58.37 we need to think about people who are single, 00:02:58.41\00:03:00.68 we need to think about people who are divorced 00:03:00.71\00:03:03.71 and have programs in the church to support them. " 00:03:03.75\00:03:07.08 When we said that having... the other time... 00:03:07.12\00:03:09.98 that having church affiliation helps people not get divorced, 00:03:10.02\00:03:15.09 there's a reason for that, 00:03:15.12\00:03:16.46 I mean, the wonderful teachings of the Bible 00:03:16.49\00:03:19.03 but also in connection with that... the community of faith 00:03:19.06\00:03:23.00 that that has developed also creates a network of people 00:03:23.03\00:03:28.07 sort of a safety net to keep you from going off. 00:03:28.10\00:03:30.74 And that's so important, I mean, I'm a divorced person 00:03:30.77\00:03:34.08 and divorce is never an easy process 00:03:34.11\00:03:38.75 and if you're a Christian, it's not an easy journey 00:03:38.78\00:03:42.32 because you know what God expects 00:03:42.35\00:03:45.52 and yet, you are in a certain situation 00:03:45.55\00:03:48.12 so it is important to have that network, 00:03:48.16\00:03:50.53 that safety net, 00:03:50.56\00:03:51.89 that family of support around you 00:03:51.93\00:03:55.70 because the journey in divorce is a difficult one for everyone. 00:03:55.73\00:04:01.47 I'd like to say here that in the church 00:04:01.50\00:04:03.20 I think, we need to make some changes in the way we approach 00:04:03.24\00:04:07.84 and think about these issues 00:04:07.88\00:04:09.34 because sometimes what happens is 00:04:09.38\00:04:11.38 well, whenever I think divorce occurs... 00:04:11.41\00:04:15.05 it's something that people feel bad about, 00:04:15.08\00:04:18.65 it's an issue of shame for people who've gone through it 00:04:18.69\00:04:22.69 and shame is hard to deal with 00:04:22.72\00:04:25.29 and so what happens is people tend to drift away, 00:04:25.33\00:04:27.76 they tend to back off from the church, 00:04:27.80\00:04:30.00 maybe they go to a different church 00:04:30.03\00:04:32.17 and if there's another church in the area, that's... 00:04:32.20\00:04:34.27 at least they have a place they can go, 00:04:34.30\00:04:36.37 but we need to be watching for people 00:04:36.40\00:04:38.44 and supporting them and say, 00:04:38.47\00:04:40.54 "You know, we're sorry that 00:04:40.58\00:04:42.14 this happened to you but you know what? 00:04:42.18\00:04:43.78 We still love you and we still know that God loves you 00:04:43.81\00:04:46.55 and don't worry... this isn't the end of your Christian life, 00:04:46.58\00:04:50.02 this isn't the end of the road, don't give up hope. " 00:04:50.09\00:04:52.62 You know, it's so important Dr. Sheperd because 00:04:52.65\00:04:55.16 when I had... well even... at the time... 00:04:55.22\00:04:58.59 I was probably contemplating divorce 00:04:58.63\00:05:01.23 but hadn't gotten there yet and I remember being at church 00:05:01.26\00:05:04.93 and a lady just came up to me and she said, 00:05:04.97\00:05:07.70 "You look like you could use a friend. " 00:05:07.74\00:05:10.44 Yeah. 00:05:10.51\00:05:11.84 And... it was... it so profoundly touched me 00:05:11.87\00:05:15.14 because I did need a friend 00:05:15.18\00:05:16.75 because I was going through a really dark time 00:05:16.78\00:05:19.68 and that's what our church family can offer 00:05:19.71\00:05:22.58 that kind of support... not necessarily taking sides 00:05:22.62\00:05:26.59 or ostracizing one of the two partners 00:05:26.62\00:05:31.29 but just being there as a support 00:05:31.33\00:05:34.03 and praying for that person that's going through that time. 00:05:34.06\00:05:37.40 We have to realize that when people go through this, 00:05:37.47\00:05:38.80 it is so stressful, it's like major illness 00:05:38.83\00:05:42.64 it's like losing a family member it is so deeply stressful 00:05:42.67\00:05:45.87 and if you've never had deep stress in your life, 00:05:45.91\00:05:49.04 you're not as sensitive, 00:05:49.11\00:05:51.31 but if you've had any kind of deep stress, 00:05:51.35\00:05:53.31 illness, loss of a loved one, some of these kinds of things 00:05:53.35\00:05:56.89 or divorce in your experience of... or in a family member, 00:05:56.92\00:06:00.22 you're sensitized to it more 00:06:00.26\00:06:02.59 and we just need to be open to the Holy Spirit speaking to us 00:06:02.62\00:06:06.70 and saying, "I think you should support them 00:06:06.73\00:06:09.56 maybe invite them over for lunch or something 00:06:09.60\00:06:12.43 or go pray with them" 00:06:12.47\00:06:13.80 and it can be so encouraging to people 00:06:13.84\00:06:16.74 and sometimes... it's such small little things. 00:06:16.77\00:06:19.51 Just that small thing stayed in my heart 00:06:19.54\00:06:21.74 all these years, "I think you need a friend. " 00:06:21.78\00:06:24.51 Yeah... yeah... 00:06:24.55\00:06:25.98 So, I didn't mean to digress but... 00:06:26.01\00:06:28.08 so what do the statistics say about divorce in the Country? 00:06:28.12\00:06:31.39 Okay, yeah, so we should take a look at it, 00:06:31.42\00:06:32.75 the first... we have these charts... 00:06:32.79\00:06:34.12 and the first one shows the difference and the comparison 00:06:34.16\00:06:37.33 between the marriage rate and the divorce rate 00:06:37.39\00:06:39.53 in the United States between 2000 and 2007 00:06:39.56\00:06:41.66 and when you look at this chart, you notice that 00:06:41.70\00:06:44.93 the divorce rate is about half of what the marriage rate is 00:06:45.00\00:06:49.40 okay, so, this gets... quite a few people will say, 00:06:49.44\00:06:52.84 they'll look at that kind of chart and they'll say, 00:06:52.87\00:06:56.24 "Wow! that must mean that 00:06:56.28\00:06:58.15 50 percent of the marriages end in divorce. " 00:06:58.21\00:07:00.68 In fact, I've heard that. 00:07:00.72\00:07:02.05 Yeah, yeah, well, actually, when you look at this statistic, 00:07:02.08\00:07:05.32 you can't draw that conclusion from this statistic. 00:07:05.35\00:07:08.32 Now, why is that? 00:07:08.36\00:07:09.79 Well, this rate of divorce... 00:07:09.82\00:07:13.63 of marriage rate and of divorce rate... 00:07:13.70\00:07:16.63 shows you the number of people per thousand 00:07:16.67\00:07:19.60 or per hundred thousand 00:07:19.63\00:07:20.97 that are getting married or divorced each year, 00:07:21.00\00:07:24.01 the problem is, they are two different populations 00:07:24.04\00:07:27.31 okay, so, you're either married or you're not married. 00:07:27.34\00:07:30.25 Right, like... either pregnant or you're not pregnant 00:07:30.28\00:07:33.18 right... right... 00:07:33.21\00:07:35.32 So, the people getting married, are all getting married 00:07:35.35\00:07:39.05 from people who are not married, obviously, 00:07:39.09\00:07:41.99 okay, the people who are getting divorced, 00:07:42.02\00:07:44.89 are people who are getting divorced 00:07:44.93\00:07:47.40 from the group that is married. Ahh... 00:07:47.43\00:07:49.83 So, you have two different groups of populations 00:07:49.86\00:07:52.83 and you're actually looking at a static figure 00:07:52.87\00:07:55.74 as to what happens at a particular time. 00:07:55.77\00:07:58.27 Now, fortunately, when most people in a marriage, 00:07:58.31\00:08:00.91 they stay there for at least some time, 00:08:00.94\00:08:04.35 a number of years, 00:08:04.38\00:08:05.85 and many people... a good number of years, 00:08:05.91\00:08:08.32 and so to say that the divorce rate is at... 00:08:08.35\00:08:10.75 four per thousand 00:08:10.79\00:08:13.42 or that the marriage rate is eight per thousand, 00:08:13.46\00:08:17.89 just tells you the rate of what's going on 00:08:17.93\00:08:20.26 from the whole number of... all the population 00:08:20.30\00:08:22.60 but the two groups are coming 00:08:22.63\00:08:23.97 from two separate parts of the population. 00:08:24.00\00:08:25.70 So, if you look at the next chart, 00:08:25.73\00:08:28.67 it shows you the actual numbers of marriages and divorces 00:08:28.70\00:08:34.11 and you see that, typically we have... 00:08:34.18\00:08:37.95 in between 2 and 2.3 million divorces 00:08:38.01\00:08:41.72 in the United States each year, on the other hand, 00:08:41.75\00:08:46.76 the chart after that shows a figure of about 850,000 00:08:46.79\00:08:52.19 or so, of people getting divorces or annulments 00:08:52.23\00:08:57.20 or even up to 950,000 over the same period of time 00:08:57.23\00:09:02.14 or approximate period of time, 00:09:02.17\00:09:03.51 now if you look at those statistics carefully, 00:09:03.54\00:09:06.11 you would see that the total population groups were different 00:09:06.14\00:09:09.21 there is about 300 million people in the marriage group 00:09:09.24\00:09:13.28 that were listed and about 240, 230... in the divorce group 00:09:13.31\00:09:18.65 and people will say, "Why is that, 00:09:18.69\00:09:20.69 has the population of the United States suddenly changed?" 00:09:20.76\00:09:23.36 No, it's that some States don't report. 00:09:23.39\00:09:26.29 Ahhh... 00:09:26.33\00:09:28.33 Now, there are a number of health statistics that are... 00:09:28.36\00:09:31.63 we have in the United States 00:09:31.67\00:09:33.00 and we find that there are certain States, 00:09:33.03\00:09:35.44 for various reasons, will not report what's happening 00:09:35.47\00:09:40.88 and in this case, it's divorce, 00:09:40.91\00:09:42.28 when it comes to abortion, 00:09:42.31\00:09:44.31 there has been a series of States 00:09:44.35\00:09:47.15 that just... they don't report them anymore 00:09:47.18\00:09:49.78 and I'm afraid, not for public health reasons, 00:09:49.82\00:09:52.22 it's for political reasons that they don't do so, 00:09:52.25\00:09:54.32 Hmmm... hmmm... Right... 00:09:54.39\00:09:56.42 So that leads us on to our 00:09:56.46\00:09:58.86 our, our, our, next data, 00:09:58.89\00:10:01.26 so, just because half the marriages... 00:10:01.30\00:10:04.07 the divorce rate and the marriage rate 00:10:04.10\00:10:06.77 are about half of each other, doesn't mean that 00:10:06.80\00:10:10.87 half the marriages are ending in divorce. 00:10:10.91\00:10:13.51 There are two different populations 00:10:13.54\00:10:15.51 so it really doesn't tell you but we can get some better idea 00:10:15.54\00:10:19.38 when we look at... yet some other Stats... 00:10:19.41\00:10:22.65 okay, so, now we come to the slide that talks about 00:10:22.68\00:10:27.89 the percentage of the United States population 00:10:27.92\00:10:31.59 that is married, and it's rather interesting, 00:10:31.63\00:10:35.26 it's been dropping. Hmmm... 00:10:35.30\00:10:38.77 Back in 1970, about 70 percent 00:10:38.80\00:10:42.20 of the U.S. population was married. 00:10:42.24\00:10:44.11 By 1990, it had dropped to just over 60 percent, 00:10:44.14\00:10:48.74 and by 2002, it had dropped to just under 60 percent. 00:10:48.78\00:10:53.48 Hmmm... Right... 00:10:53.52\00:10:54.85 So you have a drop of about... 00:10:54.88\00:10:57.15 about ten percent of the number of people... 00:10:57.19\00:11:00.06 the percentage of people that are married. 00:11:00.09\00:11:02.86 So why do you think that people are getting married less? 00:11:02.89\00:11:05.19 Ah, well, there's any kinds of number of Stats 00:11:05.23\00:11:10.63 that are causing it, 00:11:10.67\00:11:12.00 now, if we actually look at the next slide, 00:11:12.03\00:11:14.17 the percentage of the United States population 00:11:14.20\00:11:16.00 that is divorced... 00:11:16.04\00:11:17.37 this is really kind of more shocking, 00:11:17.41\00:11:19.47 people not getting married... well that's one thing... 00:11:19.54\00:11:22.44 but people getting divorced... 00:11:22.48\00:11:24.78 the percentage of the population that's divorced has been rising, 00:11:24.81\00:11:28.18 back in 1980, it was at about six percent, 00:11:28.22\00:11:31.75 in 1990, it was eight percent, in 2002, it was ten percent. 00:11:31.79\00:11:37.59 Hmmm... 00:11:37.63\00:11:38.96 Now, the previous Stats that I gave you 00:11:38.99\00:11:41.70 about that percentages of the population that were married 00:11:41.73\00:11:45.13 was... in about... 00:11:45.17\00:11:46.84 well, in the first one it was about 20-year gap 00:11:46.87\00:11:49.70 from 1970 to 1990 00:11:49.74\00:11:51.34 and then another 12 years from 1990 to 2002 00:11:51.37\00:11:55.34 but the percentages of the U.S. population divorced 00:11:55.38\00:11:58.18 is in about ten-year intervals going from 1980 to 1990 to 2002 00:11:58.21\00:12:03.89 so you go from six to eight to ten, 00:12:03.92\00:12:06.76 Hmmm... hmmm... 00:12:06.79\00:12:08.12 That is striking. It is. 00:12:08.16\00:12:10.19 We have about 300 million people in this Country, 00:12:10.23\00:12:13.73 about 300 million is about the population of the United States, 00:12:13.76\00:12:17.07 when you say that ten percent of the population... 00:12:17.10\00:12:20.20 well, that's 30 million people who are now divorced. 00:12:20.24\00:12:24.27 Wow! it's much easier to get divorced now-a-days 00:12:24.31\00:12:28.28 than it used to be. 00:12:28.31\00:12:29.68 I'm afraid so. 00:12:29.71\00:12:31.25 And we had... on Dare to Dream... 00:12:31.28\00:12:33.92 we had a sermon on "Grounds for Marriage" 00:12:33.95\00:12:39.82 instead of "Grounds for Divorce" it was "Grounds for Marriage" 00:12:39.85\00:12:44.43 and the Preacher was saying, essentially, 00:12:44.46\00:12:47.60 and it was at Andrews, in fact, but he was saying 00:12:47.63\00:12:51.77 that it's much easier to just get into marriage now 00:12:51.80\00:12:55.77 and harder... I mean... 00:12:55.80\00:12:57.14 it's easier to get divorced than it is to get married, 00:12:57.17\00:13:00.68 so people are rushing... 00:13:00.71\00:13:04.85 some people are rushing into marriage 00:13:04.88\00:13:06.75 and then they get married and they find out, 00:13:06.78\00:13:09.58 "Oh! this is not what I wanted" 00:13:09.62\00:13:11.25 and then they're ready to get out 00:13:11.29\00:13:12.82 and they can get out much more easily, 00:13:12.85\00:13:14.66 you know, Society fosters that. 00:13:14.72\00:13:16.76 And actually, we should not make it easy to get divorced 00:13:16.79\00:13:21.16 because divorce destabilizes the Community 00:13:21.20\00:13:24.33 and it creates lot of trouble for... 00:13:24.40\00:13:27.70 particularly for women and for children, now, we can say 00:13:27.74\00:13:31.31 "That's just not fair, it's just not right" 00:13:31.34\00:13:33.01 but that's the reality of what happens. 00:13:33.04\00:13:34.38 It is. 00:13:34.41\00:13:35.74 And so, people who plan for Society and the Church, 00:13:35.78\00:13:40.12 we have a role in promoting things 00:13:40.15\00:13:42.62 should try to do things that help stabilize 00:13:42.65\00:13:44.85 and protect the vulnerable in our Society 00:13:44.89\00:13:47.59 and in our Society, it is still true 00:13:47.62\00:13:50.49 that the more vulnerable groups are women and children 00:13:50.53\00:13:54.50 and the poor and we should do things to help these people, 00:13:54.53\00:13:58.47 now there are several changes in our Society 00:13:58.53\00:14:00.37 that have helped to foster some of these changes, 00:14:00.40\00:14:03.30 where there are fewer people getting married, 00:14:03.34\00:14:06.21 there's more divorce taking place, 00:14:06.24\00:14:08.61 the development of effective treatments 00:14:08.64\00:14:12.48 for sexually transmitted diseases 00:14:12.51\00:14:17.39 has removed much of the fear of sex outside of marriage 00:14:17.42\00:14:21.22 and so, people don't always feel 00:14:21.26\00:14:23.66 that they need to get married in order to have sex, 00:14:23.69\00:14:26.43 we've already had quite a bit of discussions 00:14:26.46\00:14:30.03 about sex in these programs, and we can just reiterate 00:14:30.07\00:14:33.80 that while... it's wonderful to have good treatments 00:14:33.84\00:14:37.54 for sexually transmitted diseases, 00:14:37.57\00:14:39.61 I'm not opposed to treating those diseases, 00:14:39.64\00:14:41.74 I think it's important to treat them 00:14:41.81\00:14:43.35 and as a Public Health Training guy, 00:14:43.38\00:14:44.85 I'm like, "You know you need to find out who is infected 00:14:44.88\00:14:47.75 and you need to get them treated," 00:14:47.78\00:14:49.58 because these diseases can become 00:14:49.62\00:14:51.75 more and more resistant to treatment. 00:14:51.79\00:14:53.25 Absolutely. 00:14:53.29\00:14:54.62 But effective treatments have decreased the fears 00:14:54.66\00:14:58.06 of having sex outside of marriage, 00:14:58.09\00:15:00.70 then there's the development of the Birth Control Pill 00:15:00.73\00:15:03.30 which... about 50 years ago also became effective 00:15:03.33\00:15:07.87 methods of contraception 00:15:07.90\00:15:09.24 and you could have sex outside of marriage without fear 00:15:09.27\00:15:12.14 that you were going to become pregnant, pretty much, 00:15:12.17\00:15:15.01 and... so that also helped to foster 00:15:15.04\00:15:18.61 more promiscuous... 00:15:18.68\00:15:20.72 I mean, it doesn't foster it in the sense 00:15:20.75\00:15:23.92 so people have to choose it, 00:15:23.99\00:15:25.32 but it makes it a little bit more of an option 00:15:25.35\00:15:27.49 available to them 00:15:27.56\00:15:28.89 then there's the economic independence of women 00:15:28.92\00:15:30.83 which has given them more opportunities 00:15:30.86\00:15:34.16 to depend on themselves instead of on a marriage 00:15:34.20\00:15:37.20 in order to have a home, 00:15:37.27\00:15:38.60 and then the rapid rise in abortion 00:15:38.63\00:15:41.30 making it possible for unwanted pregnancies to be terminated. 00:15:41.34\00:15:44.64 Now, the first three of these, we all applaud, 00:15:44.67\00:15:47.94 we say, "Good treatment for disease," amen. 00:15:47.98\00:15:51.25 We say, "birth control," of course, you should be able to 00:15:51.28\00:15:53.68 you know, plan your family out 00:15:53.72\00:15:56.22 and the "economic independence" of women... sure... fine... 00:15:56.25\00:16:00.32 "abortion," we know we as Christians have issues with that 00:16:00.36\00:16:03.56 that this is, life begins at conception 00:16:03.59\00:16:06.09 and that we should protect the unborn, 00:16:06.13\00:16:08.56 but, all these, except the last, we recognize as 00:16:08.60\00:16:12.10 advances and good in our Society 00:16:12.13\00:16:14.04 and tending towards... actually... 00:16:14.07\00:16:15.90 they have tended to push 00:16:15.94\00:16:17.37 in the direction of fewer people getting married. 00:16:17.41\00:16:20.31 So, there you have the decrease in the marriage rate. 00:16:20.34\00:16:23.21 Hmmm... hmmm... hmmm... 00:16:23.24\00:16:24.58 But the increase in the number of people divorced 00:16:24.61\00:16:27.65 also suggests that somehow our Society's view 00:16:27.68\00:16:30.85 of divorce has shifted and the idea of staying married 00:16:30.89\00:16:34.86 has shifted and that creates other problems. 00:16:34.89\00:16:38.89 So, we should also note several other marital statistics 00:16:38.93\00:16:46.00 I just have a few more to share, 00:16:46.03\00:16:47.37 24 percent of the population has never been married before. 00:16:47.40\00:16:51.24 That's pretty large. 00:16:51.27\00:16:53.98 Yeah, now, people say, "Wait a minute, wait a minute 00:16:54.01\00:16:57.71 you said that 60 percent of the people aren't married," 00:16:57.75\00:17:01.38 okay, that's about... 00:17:01.42\00:17:02.75 you're saying, 10 percent are married, 00:17:02.78\00:17:04.25 that's... I guess... it all adds up 00:17:04.29\00:17:05.92 about 35 to 40 percent, 00:17:05.95\00:17:07.56 but I bring this statistic up 00:17:07.59\00:17:10.69 because, we in the church, tend to focus attention 00:17:10.73\00:17:13.40 on those who are married, those who have children 00:17:13.43\00:17:16.00 and the singles tend to get lost in the shuffle some place. 00:17:16.03\00:17:21.67 That's very true. 00:17:21.70\00:17:23.04 Or sometimes, a "Single's Club" is seen as a place to get... 00:17:23.07\00:17:27.74 to find a spouse, you know, and there are people who 00:17:27.78\00:17:31.18 for different places in their life or different times, 00:17:31.21\00:17:34.55 they don't want to get married, 00:17:34.58\00:17:35.92 they're single and they're just in a situation where they are... 00:17:35.95\00:17:40.29 and to be pressured by people to do that 00:17:40.32\00:17:43.02 is just kind of odd and not right. 00:17:43.06\00:17:45.76 That's so true and sometimes people are insensitive, 00:17:45.79\00:17:48.56 you know, "When are you getting married?" 00:17:48.60\00:17:49.96 "Why aren't you married yet?" 00:17:50.00\00:17:51.87 You know, especially if the woman has never been married, 00:17:51.90\00:17:55.54 and she's asked, "When are you getting married?" 00:17:55.57\00:17:58.81 And the implication is, 00:17:58.84\00:18:00.18 "Something's wrong with you because you're not married. " 00:18:00.21\00:18:03.48 Well, then we'd have to say the 25 percent of the population 00:18:03.51\00:18:05.31 has got something wrong with them, right? 00:18:05.38\00:18:06.92 It's rather a biased view and it shouldn't be. 00:18:06.98\00:18:10.29 Seven percent of the population is widowed. 00:18:10.35\00:18:13.66 Hmmm... 00:18:13.69\00:18:15.32 And we need to think about those people. 00:18:15.36\00:18:16.96 Now, the median age of first marriage has been rising 00:18:16.99\00:18:20.13 for males it's right now almost 27-years old, 00:18:20.16\00:18:23.06 for women, it's 25.3 years, okay, so, 00:18:23.10\00:18:27.10 this is a large... this is a much later 00:18:27.14\00:18:31.07 but people aren't waiting for sex. 00:18:31.11\00:18:34.14 That's true, that's what's happening. 00:18:34.18\00:18:36.44 Yeah, that's one of the big pressures 00:18:36.48\00:18:38.65 you see, back earlier... it was a shame, 00:18:38.68\00:18:41.68 it was terrible and it was risky 00:18:41.72\00:18:43.05 to have sex outside of marriage and so you waited 00:18:43.08\00:18:45.89 actually marriages were earlier, 00:18:45.95\00:18:47.39 like early 20s, maybe even back into the teens, 00:18:47.42\00:18:50.13 okay, but now, with all of these different methods of presenting 00:18:50.16\00:18:55.13 and preventing pregnancy, even if you get pregnant, 00:18:55.16\00:18:58.63 dealing with it, of not having problems with 00:18:58.67\00:19:01.34 sexually transmitted diseases as much 00:19:01.40\00:19:03.64 people say, "Well, I can have sex and not get married," 00:19:03.67\00:19:07.08 now, we also have 5.5 million 00:19:07.14\00:19:09.68 unmarried couples living together 00:19:09.71\00:19:12.35 I mean, that's a 11 million people. 00:19:12.38\00:19:14.95 That's a whole lot of people, 00:19:14.98\00:19:19.02 and 89 percent of the unmarried couples living together 00:19:19.05\00:19:21.79 are male/female couples, so some are same sex, as well, 00:19:21.82\00:19:24.53 and so, these statistics are... 00:19:24.56\00:19:27.50 are... are... are rather striking, 00:19:27.53\00:19:29.43 we have the percentage listed here as well 00:19:29.46\00:19:33.00 of married people who reach a marriage anniversary 00:19:33.03\00:19:36.91 and if you look at that table, 00:19:36.94\00:19:38.67 you'll see that has been dropping 00:19:38.71\00:19:40.18 oh well, it drops off, 00:19:40.21\00:19:41.88 the fifth anniversary... about 80 percent of people reach that, 00:19:41.91\00:19:45.15 tenth anniversary... about 60-some people... 00:19:45.18\00:19:50.22 65 percent reach that, 00:19:50.29\00:19:52.09 fifteenth year... it's at about the 50 percent level 00:19:52.12\00:19:55.02 so, some people will say, 00:19:55.06\00:19:57.03 "Well then, are half of the marriages 00:19:57.06\00:20:00.40 ending in divorce anyways, is that within the outcome?" 00:20:00.43\00:20:03.93 Well, I wish we could tell that from this... 00:20:03.97\00:20:06.57 from this statistic, but the problem is 00:20:06.60\00:20:09.30 when you get to the 15th anniversary, 00:20:09.34\00:20:12.01 there'll be... many people are still living 00:20:12.04\00:20:15.01 but some will have died, not so many... 00:20:15.04\00:20:17.95 not so many, 00:20:17.98\00:20:19.31 25th wedding anniversary... only 30 percent reach that, 00:20:19.35\00:20:21.88 35th anniversary... 20 percent reach that 00:20:21.92\00:20:25.62 and the 50th anniversary... 00:20:25.65\00:20:26.99 only about 5 percent reach the 50th anniversary. 00:20:27.02\00:20:28.79 Now, that's not because they all got divorced, 00:20:28.82\00:20:31.16 that is because by the 50th Anniversary 00:20:31.19\00:20:33.40 most people are in their 70s or 80s or something 00:20:33.46\00:20:35.83 and they're just... 00:20:35.86\00:20:38.07 both spouses didn't survive till that time 00:20:38.13\00:20:40.47 but it's still obvious when you look at the statistic 00:20:40.54\00:20:43.67 that there's a huge problem 00:20:43.71\00:20:47.11 in our Country with divorce and that's what our big point is 00:20:47.14\00:20:51.25 in this presentation, 00:20:51.28\00:20:52.68 is that there's a very large problem with divorce, 00:20:52.71\00:20:55.55 one more statistic, no I guess I got two more... 00:20:55.58\00:20:58.69 the percentage of people who have ever been married 00:20:58.72\00:21:01.82 is listed in... 00:21:01.86\00:21:03.19 and for most people by the time they reach their mid-fifties, 00:21:03.22\00:21:07.10 95 percent of the people have been married 00:21:07.16\00:21:09.83 at one time or another 00:21:09.86\00:21:11.50 by the time they reach in their mid-fifties, 00:21:11.53\00:21:13.23 now for a lot of people 00:21:13.30\00:21:14.64 that would be about their 30th wedding anniversary 00:21:14.67\00:21:16.60 and if you go back to the previous slide, 00:21:16.64\00:21:19.24 you'll notice that at the 35th wedding anniversary, 00:21:19.27\00:21:22.88 only 20 percent of the people reach that 00:21:22.94\00:21:25.35 so, there's a fair bit of divorce going on, I'm afraid, 00:21:25.38\00:21:30.29 a fair bit of divorce, 00:21:30.32\00:21:31.92 the very last chart that I have is... 00:21:31.95\00:21:35.42 the probability of a first-marriage disruption 00:21:35.46\00:21:37.96 within ten years by Marriage Cohort, 00:21:37.99\00:21:41.26 now that is such a mouthful to look at that chart 00:21:41.30\00:21:45.90 what in the world does this chart mean? 00:21:45.93\00:21:49.34 Okay, a birth... a Marriage Cohort means 00:21:49.37\00:21:52.67 a group of people who got married at a particular time. 00:21:52.71\00:21:55.34 Okay. Okay... 00:21:55.38\00:21:57.18 So, if you look at the chart, you'll see that it has... 00:21:57.25\00:22:00.52 it breaks them into like four... four- or- five-year segments, 00:22:00.55\00:22:04.92 there's 1950 to 1954, 1955 to 1959, 00:22:04.95\00:22:08.86 1960 to 1964 and so on up to 1980 to 1984... 00:22:08.89\00:22:11.83 these are the people that got married at this time, 00:22:11.86\00:22:14.70 how likely was it within ten years 00:22:14.73\00:22:18.33 that their marriage would split up, okay, 00:22:18.37\00:22:21.44 and this is divided between whites and blacks, 00:22:21.47\00:22:24.11 okay, so we notice that in the 1950s, 00:22:24.14\00:22:27.58 for people being married for ten years, 00:22:27.61\00:22:31.75 the percentage for white couples was 13 00:22:31.78\00:22:35.88 and for black couples was 24, 00:22:35.92\00:22:37.72 sadly that black couples is 00:22:37.75\00:22:39.49 always higher than the white couples, 00:22:39.52\00:22:41.46 this is not to say there's any racial kind of thing here 00:22:41.49\00:22:44.56 somebody is better than somebody else or something, 00:22:44.59\00:22:47.66 there are stresses on different people 00:22:47.70\00:22:49.80 in different parts of Society 00:22:49.83\00:22:51.17 that play a lot of challenge in their life and everything 00:22:51.20\00:22:54.30 we should not be judges 00:22:54.34\00:22:56.00 so we're just presenting the data here of what happens 00:22:56.04\00:22:58.54 but what we notice for both groups 00:22:58.57\00:23:01.61 is that from the 1950s to the 1980s, 00:23:01.64\00:23:04.61 the chances of a first marriage 00:23:04.65\00:23:09.25 breaking up within ten years has about doubled. 00:23:09.28\00:23:12.09 Wow! Yeah, has about doubled! 00:23:12.12\00:23:15.39 So for the people in the white population 00:23:15.42\00:23:20.23 it went from 13 out of a 100 00:23:20.26\00:23:21.96 to almost 30 out of a 100, that's about double, 00:23:22.00\00:23:25.03 for the black population about 24 to 47, 00:23:25.10\00:23:27.80 that's also about double 00:23:27.84\00:23:29.17 so there was something happening back... 00:23:29.20\00:23:31.11 or there was something about our culture 00:23:31.14\00:23:33.17 back in the 1950s, that was quite different 00:23:33.21\00:23:36.88 about our culture in the 1980s. 00:23:36.91\00:23:38.25 Hmmm... hmmm... 00:23:38.28\00:23:39.65 So that it was much more likely that marriages would break up 00:23:39.68\00:23:43.95 so you see, this is a very important topic. 00:23:43.99\00:23:47.26 True. 00:23:47.29\00:23:48.92 It's just something that we as a church need to think about, 00:23:48.99\00:23:51.66 we need to talk about, we need to develop programs 00:23:51.69\00:23:55.96 to help our church members to stay together, 00:23:56.00\00:23:59.53 the best way is for none of this to happen 00:23:59.57\00:24:03.27 for us to help people stay connected together 00:24:03.30\00:24:06.94 and to have a healthy, happy marriage, 00:24:06.98\00:24:09.44 we need to have Seminars to talk about marriage health 00:24:09.48\00:24:12.68 we need to have programs 00:24:12.71\00:24:14.32 that encourage families to do things together, 00:24:14.35\00:24:17.05 that's why I believe so much in things like Pathfinders 00:24:17.09\00:24:21.39 and Little Lambs and Adventurers and all these programs 00:24:21.42\00:24:25.66 that we have and when our young people are in those programs, 00:24:25.69\00:24:28.90 then we, as parents, should be in them too. 00:24:28.93\00:24:31.73 Hmmm... You know... 00:24:31.77\00:24:33.10 That's how our children see our faith on display 00:24:33.13\00:24:36.30 and that's what helps them to recognize 00:24:36.71\00:24:38.51 that our faith is important to us, 00:24:38.54\00:24:40.11 that gives them security, children want security, 00:24:40.14\00:24:45.61 they're unhappy, if actually, 00:24:45.65\00:24:47.82 there are no rules in the household, 00:24:47.85\00:24:49.48 a household with no rules is an unhappy house. 00:24:49.52\00:24:52.95 That's very true, it's reflected in Government as well, 00:24:52.99\00:24:57.66 you have to have rules. 00:24:57.69\00:24:59.53 You have to have rules, you have to have laws, 00:24:59.56\00:25:01.20 and for children, it's kind of like 00:25:01.23\00:25:03.40 a wall that you can put your hand on, you know, 00:25:03.47\00:25:07.54 and you're not going to fall over, 00:25:07.60\00:25:08.94 it gives them security, 00:25:08.97\00:25:10.54 and we've gone through some of these statistics, 00:25:10.57\00:25:12.54 and we've talked about what happens to children in marriage 00:25:12.57\00:25:15.88 and what happens in divorce and what it causes, 00:25:15.94\00:25:18.05 it's so sad, it's so troubling 00:25:18.08\00:25:20.68 that we need to carefully help to prevent these things. 00:25:20.72\00:25:23.99 So, I want to hear at the end of this first section 00:25:24.02\00:25:27.26 we talked a lot about statistics, you know, 00:25:27.32\00:25:29.19 I've got to take the Public Health Hat back off 00:25:29.22\00:25:31.09 and put on the Bible Hat, 00:25:31.13\00:25:32.63 we need to open the Bible to Malachi 2 verse 16, 00:25:32.66\00:25:37.47 if you could read that verse for us. Yvonne: Sure. 00:25:37.50\00:25:39.67 The very last book of the Old Testament 00:25:39.70\00:25:43.24 gives us God's perspective, Malachi 2 and verse 16. 00:25:43.30\00:25:48.04 Malachi 2:16, it says, "For the Lord God of Israel 00:25:48.08\00:25:52.75 says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment 00:25:52.78\00:25:57.12 with violence," Says the Lord of hosts. 00:25:57.15\00:25:59.75 "Therefore, take heed to your spirit, 00:25:59.79\00:26:02.52 that you do not deal treacherously. " 00:26:02.56\00:26:05.29 Yes, it says, "I hate divorce. " 00:26:05.33\00:26:09.16 Hmmm... 00:26:09.20\00:26:10.53 "I hate divorce. " Hmmm... hmmm... 00:26:10.57\00:26:12.23 And I want to emphasize because we'll be talking about 00:26:12.27\00:26:16.97 in coming segments, we'll be talking about, 00:26:17.01\00:26:20.34 "What does Jesus say about divorce?" 00:26:20.38\00:26:21.78 We'll be talking about, "What does Paul say about divorce?" 00:26:21.81\00:26:23.78 And... 00:26:23.81\00:26:25.31 people will often... you know... 00:26:25.35\00:26:26.88 when you get into this question, 00:26:26.92\00:26:28.62 people will say, "Well, is it... 00:26:28.65\00:26:30.32 do they have Biblical grounds? 00:26:30.35\00:26:32.05 and what are the Biblical grounds? 00:26:32.12\00:26:33.72 Do they have the right to this 00:26:33.76\00:26:35.39 or do they not have the right to this and everything... 00:26:35.42\00:26:38.06 and you can lose the forest for the trees. 00:26:38.09\00:26:41.26 Hmmm... hmmm... 00:26:41.30\00:26:42.63 I want to bring the "forest message" 00:26:42.66\00:26:45.17 the forest message that God says is, 00:26:45.20\00:26:47.77 "I hate divorce. " Hmmm... hmmm... 00:26:47.80\00:26:50.37 Now He doesn't hate the people, 00:26:50.41\00:26:52.57 but He hates divorce because of what it does 00:26:52.61\00:26:55.81 to children and what it does to families, 00:26:55.84\00:26:57.58 women and men, it just... 00:26:57.61\00:26:59.75 it's just bad, 00:26:59.78\00:27:01.12 we got to try and stay away from it, 00:27:01.15\00:27:02.78 and help our people to do so. 00:27:02.82\00:27:04.15 Absolutely, so would you just summarize 00:27:04.19\00:27:06.25 what we learned from this discussion? 00:27:06.29\00:27:08.36 We've learned that American Society 00:27:08.39\00:27:10.83 has shifted, because of a number of 00:27:10.86\00:27:13.23 opportunities or types of things that have happened 00:27:13.29\00:27:16.26 in our Society, many of them good, 00:27:16.30\00:27:18.07 it has become easier for people to not get married 00:27:18.10\00:27:22.74 and more people have been getting divorced as a result, 00:27:22.77\00:27:26.31 so we have a higher percentage of our population... divorced, 00:27:26.34\00:27:28.98 a lower percentage married 00:27:29.01\00:27:30.61 which just means we have a more unstable Society. 00:27:30.65\00:27:33.45 We've seen that the Bible's message is, 00:27:33.48\00:27:35.65 "It opposes divorce," 00:27:35.68\00:27:37.02 and so we want to emphasize what the Bible does. 00:27:37.05\00:27:39.32 Amen, well thank you so much Dr. Sheperd. 00:27:39.35\00:27:42.42 We want you to be sure to tune in 00:27:42.46\00:27:45.26 take notes, share this information, 00:27:45.29\00:27:47.80 this is such valuable information 00:27:47.83\00:27:50.30 that Dr. Sheperd is giving us 00:27:50.33\00:27:52.30 and the statistics are really important 00:27:52.33\00:27:54.27 because it's showing where we're going as a Society. 00:27:54.30\00:27:57.51 Well, we know where we're going right now, 00:27:57.54\00:28:00.08 we have to end... but we ask you to tune in next time 00:28:00.11\00:28:03.35 as we talk about these timely messages. 00:28:03.38\00:28:07.15 May God bless you. 00:28:07.18\00:28:08.52