Welcome to
Heaven's Point of View.
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My name is J.D. Quinn.
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We are working on a series
that is really enlightening,
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love, marriage, sex and divorce
according to the New Testament.
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Our host, our speaker,
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the one that's making
this all come together
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is Dr. Tom Shepherd and
we welcome you, Dr. Tom.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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What we've been talking about,
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we've been talking about
the husbands and the wives
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and their
positions and everything.
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Now in Christian
marriages where are we now?
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So we've been
talking about Ephesians 5,
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this is our last discussion
of Ephesians 5 in this series
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and we're in the section
talking about the husbands.
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So we're gonna look,
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we've already looked
at verses 25, 26, and 27.
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The section on the husbands
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goes from verse
25 through verse 33.
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We worked talking about
verses 25 to 27 last time
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so we're gonna go on from there
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and read some more
about the rest of it.
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So we are gonna
start with verse 28?
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We will. We will.
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Now Paul has been
talking about the church
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almost to the point
where people get the idea like,
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"Oh, well, has he forgotten
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to talk about
Christian marriage?"
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But no, actually the passage is,
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has a lot to say
about the church,
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but Paul is still
discussing Christian marriage.
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So just like he
illustrated talking to wives
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and used Christ
as a paradigm there,
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so now he holds
that up for the husband.
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Okay, so where
are we going from here
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dealing with the
Christian marriage?
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All right, so we're
gonna start in verse--
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Well, you know, I don't think
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it hurts to read
the whole passage again
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because people may not
have-- It's been a while
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since they saw
the previous program
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and if we put,
read the whole passage,
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we get the context.
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It's Ephesians 5:25-33. Okay.
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And I'll read
through this pretty fast
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because I know that
we got a lot to cover up.
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It's true. We got lot this time.
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"Husbands, love your wives,
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just as Christ
also loved the church
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and gave Himself for her,
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that He might
sanctify and cleanse her
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with the washing
of water by the word,
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that He might present her
to Himself a glorious church,
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not having spot or
wrinkle or any such thing,
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but that she should be
holy and without blemish.
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So husbands ought
to love their own wives
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as their own bodies;
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he who loves his
wife also loves himself.
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For no one ever
hated his own flesh,
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but nourishes and cherishes it,
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just as the
Lord does the church.
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For we are members of His body,
of His flesh and of His bones.
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And 'For this reason
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a man shall leave
his father and mother
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and be joined to his wife,
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and the two shall
become one flesh.'
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This is the great
mystery," or a great mystery
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"but I speak concerning
Christ and the church.
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Nevertheless let each
one of you in particular
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so love his own wife as himself,
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and let the wife see that
she respects her husband."
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Okay. Wow.
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Beautiful passage. It is.
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Beautiful passage
and we are thinking now
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of the love
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that husbands are to
show towards their wives.
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We know that last time
we said, you know, Paul said
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that the wife would
submit to their husbands
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and so you might get the
idea that Paul would say it,
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and husbands, rule
your wives, you know.
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But that's not what he says. No.
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He says, you are
supposed to love your wives
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and in case you didn't know
how that was supposed to be,
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it was as
Christ loved the church
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and gave Himself.
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Let's say, giving sacrificial
kind of love that He has.
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The results that this has
in for Christ in the church
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is a sanctified church,
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the waters of
baptism set us apart
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and then he wants to
present us to Christ glorious
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without spot or
wrinkle holy and blameless.
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So it's a process of us
becoming more like Jesus.
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So that's the
sacrificial type? Yeah.
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That's a
sacrificial kind of love
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that husbands are
to have for the wives
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and you think about it,
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when you sacrifice for
your family in this way,
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they really take note of it
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and it has an impact
how they think about you.
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But then he switches
and in verse 28 he says,
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"In the same way,
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husbands should love their wives
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as their own bodies.
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He who loves his
wife loves himself,
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for no one ever
hated his own flesh,
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but nourishes and cherishes it,
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just as Christ does the church."
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This is a
different kind of love.
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Now we are going
to a nurturing type.
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Yes, it's a
nurturing type of love
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that Paul uses the terminology,
you don't hate your own body,
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you cherish it,
you take care of it.
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It is that which
takes care of the other
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because of the
inherent linkage between them.
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So he is talking
about the unity of marriage.
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Paul puts it simply,
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he who loves his
own wife loves himself.
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He who loves his
own wife loves himself.
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It seems to me it's important
to talk well of your spouse
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to other people.
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I know that it's--
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that's real easy
in our relationship
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with Shelley and I.
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We go out--
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It's a nice
testimony. Well, it is.
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It is a testimony and
the thing that I have found
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is that I love
Shelley very much.
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I adore Shelley.
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Now she is my wife I
think that I'm very blessed.
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But in this situation,
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I've always liked
her more than anything.
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And so, you know,
here you're kind of saying.
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So consequently
it's kind of like,
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it just comes natural
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that if I speak well of
her, then she reciprocates.
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That's right.
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Now I have a practice
that I do when I go out
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on my morning
walk or morning run,
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I start thanking God for
people and I start with my wife.
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Amen. Amen.
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And I thank her for God
for different things about her
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and then I go through
a series of other people.
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I thank God for
all my colleagues
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that I work with, you know,
and staff and the secretaries
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and I'll pray for them too.
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I'm out there, you
know, walking along
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and this morning actually
when I was out for my run,
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I thought of 3ABN.
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Amen. Amen.
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And, you know, I
think thankfulness
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just builds in you a
certain aspect of joy.
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You just feel happier
and to me-- Yeah, go ahead.
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And I'm assuming
that being thankful
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is a first cousin to nurturing.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Because when you're
thankful for somebody,
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you are positive about that.
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So it's easier for you to think
of how you can care for them.
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Yeah.
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In homes, I think
sometimes what happens
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people start to
get into, you know,
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when you first meet somebody,
when they first fall in love
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or when they're first dating
and everything, it's all rosy.
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And then when you
get married you find out,
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oh, this person has some faults.
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Yes.
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And guess what,
they find out that,
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oh, you have some faults too.
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If you focus on the faults,
then things start to go down.
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It starts
eroding in a hurry. Yeah.
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But if you focus
on that which is good,
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you know, I'm so thankful.
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In fact if you tell
them, I'm so thankful
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you're such a
good cook, you know,
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or you like to
keep nice clean house
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and we appreciate that.
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If you actually tell
them the expression of it
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just helps to deepen
the sense of appreciation
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and builds more the
same kind of characteristic,
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you know, be shown to.
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Most certainly. Most certainly.
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And it just seems to me,
I guess it's common sense.
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Goes back to
what you were saying
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the
practicality that Paul brings
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into his message and so--
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So this parallel,
you know, when Paul says
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that you love your
wife like you love yourself.
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It's parallel to Christ
concerned for the church.
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He says, for we are
members of His body.
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Christ cares for us. Why?
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Because we are His body. Amen.
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So when the
husband cares for his wife
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"He who loves his
own wife loves himself."
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Thus the basis of
the sacrificial love
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is the example of Christ
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in giving
himself for the church.
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And the basis of
the nurturing love
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is the unity that
exists in our own body
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and in Christ
love for the church.
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So you have both
of these kinds of love
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sacrificial and nurturing love.
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Now this is rather interesting
because these two kinds of love
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kind of go with two
different characteristics.
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You know, self sacrificing love.
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When you think of
making self sacrifice,
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you think of like a
soldier out in the front lines.
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He runs out and
takes care of his buddies.
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Well, everybody
looks at him and says--
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Wow, he is courageous.
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That man is
courageous, you know.
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He really cares for his buddies.
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He is taking care of them.
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On the other
side nurturing love,
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you think more in
terms of gentleness
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and these two
characteristics are--
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There is little
tension between them in a way,
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I mean, they are
kind of two different ways
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of thinking or doing.
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I think probably most
men have an easier time
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with the courageous aspect.
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There's something in the
man that wants to protect,
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that wants to guard
and to defend his family.
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And when he doesn't
have that opportunity,
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when he is not
offered that opportunity
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there's, you
sort of lose something
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of his manliness.
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He wants to be
able to do that. Yeah.
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But most of us
probably need to find,
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we need to focus more
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probably on the
nurturing side of this of.
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You know, we need to
be able to show people
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that, to show our
families and express to them
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a nurturing caring
kind of love as well.
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Even if it takes us
out of our comfort zone,
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the more that you practice
the better, the easier it is.
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That's right. Right.
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And the more you
express it the more you,
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you know, sometimes
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we will have to say things
that we may not always feel,
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but you are saying
because they are right
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and the right to do
and you-- Very well put.
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You put expressions
there and you practice,
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you practice Christian love.
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And then you become
a more loving person.
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I mean, I know over--
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That's about as
biblical as you get.
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You know, over the 40
years I've been married
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that I have had to
learn to be more patient,
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I had to learn to say
things in different ways
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and the Lord
keeps working with me
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and my wife keeps
patiently being with me.
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Amen.
00:10:47.21\00:10:48.54
I know exactly
what you are saying
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and thank You, Jesus,
that they are patient.
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Yeah, now, verse 29 has
this interesting truism.
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He says, "For no one
ever hated his own flesh,
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but nourishes it
and cherishes it,
00:11:00.62\00:11:02.32
just as Christ does the church."
00:11:02.36\00:11:05.19
Paul is using here a
what we might call a truism.
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It's to describe how
we take care of ourselves.
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Now we know that sometimes
people become discouraged,
00:11:14.77\00:11:18.74
they become depressed
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and they don't feel like
taking care of themselves
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and sometimes they don't.
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Paul is not
denying such behavior
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rather he is describing
what is generally true.
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You know, it's
just generally true
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that people take
care of themselves.
00:11:32.25\00:11:34.86
And so this becomes
the basis for talking about
00:11:34.89\00:11:37.63
caring for your
spouse and marriage
00:11:37.66\00:11:39.39
because your
spouse is one with you.
00:11:39.43\00:11:42.46
It's a fool who
talks bad of his spouse.
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Because--
00:11:45.87\00:11:47.20
you just point the
finger back at yourself really.
00:11:47.24\00:11:48.57
You are the one
that chose this person.
00:11:48.60\00:11:50.44
You know, so you really
ought to speak well of them
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and that speaks
well of your choice.
00:11:53.51\00:11:55.08
Yes. You know.
00:11:55.11\00:11:56.44
And sometimes if you
get off to a bad start,
00:11:56.48\00:12:00.32
then this goes back into
what you were saying earlier,
00:12:00.35\00:12:02.85
maybe you need to practice
some skills, some life skills
00:12:02.88\00:12:06.62
and then you'll reciprocate,
you know, that feeling.
00:12:06.65\00:12:11.53
And you know, most of us
we learn our life skills,
00:12:11.56\00:12:15.56
we learn about what
is normal in the home,
00:12:15.60\00:12:19.50
in our own homes
when we were children.
00:12:19.53\00:12:22.24
And if our own homes
00:12:22.27\00:12:23.71
were not the
loving Christian homes
00:12:23.74\00:12:25.07
that they should be.
00:12:25.11\00:12:27.38
We don't know
that the right way.
00:12:27.41\00:12:30.25
We don't know the Christian way.
00:12:30.28\00:12:31.61
This is why the church
must take time to educate.
00:12:31.65\00:12:34.68
We must have
relationship between people
00:12:34.72\00:12:36.38
and maybe
sometimes even people saying,
00:12:36.42\00:12:38.85
"Oh, is that you
are in another home
00:12:38.89\00:12:40.26
and you see how a husband
treats the wife or something.
00:12:40.29\00:12:43.66
I remember we were missionaries
00:12:43.69\00:12:45.59
I think I mentioned to you,
we were missionaries in Brazil
00:12:45.63\00:12:48.43
and one Sabbath I was there
00:12:48.46\00:12:51.30
and there was this visiting
professor from Argentina
00:12:51.33\00:12:54.87
and he was sitting there,
00:12:54.90\00:12:57.37
after lunch we
were talking little bit
00:12:57.41\00:12:59.41
and I said to him,
00:12:59.44\00:13:00.98
I said, "Do you
believe in women's liberation?"
00:13:01.01\00:13:04.25
And he probably
didn't know anywhere
00:13:04.28\00:13:06.28
where I was going with
this, you know, and he was,
00:13:06.31\00:13:08.48
he probably didn't want
to offend me or anything
00:13:08.52\00:13:10.39
and he kept kind of
serious look on his face
00:13:10.42\00:13:13.25
and he said, "Oh,
yes there is, there is."
00:13:13.29\00:13:15.32
As he was very conservative
guy if I would call.
00:13:15.36\00:13:17.96
He looked at me and
he said, well, there,
00:13:17.99\00:13:19.66
there are certain aspects
of that that I agree with.
00:13:19.69\00:13:22.96
I said, well, good, let's
you and I go wash the dishes
00:13:23.00\00:13:25.07
and let women
just sit here and talk.
00:13:25.10\00:13:29.07
Amen.
00:13:29.10\00:13:31.01
So, you know... He
probably, oh, is that?
00:13:31.04\00:13:34.94
Is that what you are gonna
try, that's what you want to do?
00:13:34.98\00:13:37.25
Yeah, you know,
00:13:37.28\00:13:38.61
we need to do
things for our wives.
00:13:38.65\00:13:39.98
Just a lot of, you know,
a lot of homes the wife does
00:13:40.02\00:13:42.68
like all the
house work and things.
00:13:42.72\00:13:44.15
You know, they shouldn't be.
00:13:44.19\00:13:45.52
We husbands should be in
there, we should be working,
00:13:45.55\00:13:47.66
we should be supporting them,
00:13:47.69\00:13:49.19
letting them sit and rest a bit.
00:13:49.22\00:13:50.63
Yes.
00:13:50.66\00:13:51.99
It's very positive.
00:13:52.03\00:13:53.36
That something that,
00:13:53.40\00:13:54.76
that I certainly
need to work harder on.
00:13:54.80\00:13:57.53
Well, some thing, as
we mentioned a while ago,
00:13:57.57\00:14:00.04
some things come
easier than others.
00:14:00.07\00:14:01.84
My wife and I have
become a team when we are,
00:14:01.87\00:14:04.31
when we are washing,
00:14:04.34\00:14:05.67
when we are
cleaning up after meal.
00:14:05.71\00:14:07.04
Amen.
00:14:07.08\00:14:08.41
I'm the one who
washes the dishes
00:14:08.44\00:14:09.78
and puts them in the dishwasher.
00:14:09.81\00:14:11.15
We've discovered that,
00:14:11.18\00:14:12.51
actually if we run
washes dishes in the dishwasher
00:14:12.55\00:14:13.88
we don't get
cold as much 'cause-
00:14:13.92\00:14:16.42
Yes.
00:14:16.45\00:14:17.79
So I'm the one washing them off,
00:14:17.82\00:14:19.15
putting in the dishwasher
and she puts the food away.
00:14:19.19\00:14:20.79
So we kind of a nice
team. Well, that's fair.
00:14:20.82\00:14:22.89
We kind of do this back
and forth kind of a thing.
00:14:22.92\00:14:25.56
All right, so--
00:14:25.59\00:14:26.93
And you are the guy that takes
for 25, 26, 27 someday you go,
00:14:26.96\00:14:32.43
you live long enough,
00:14:32.47\00:14:33.80
you could buy out
the whole store of roses
00:14:33.84\00:14:35.87
on your anniversary.
00:14:35.90\00:14:37.24
I think that's the neat story.
00:14:37.27\00:14:38.64
Well, that, you know, to
see what happened is that
00:14:38.67\00:14:41.84
she is actually become
a little allergic to roses
00:14:41.88\00:14:43.85
so I don't get her roses.
00:14:43.88\00:14:45.21
Well, thank you, Jesus.
00:14:45.25\00:14:47.68
But she still, you know,
00:14:47.72\00:14:51.45
we are still
going together there
00:14:51.49\00:14:52.82
and she is getting much sweeter.
00:14:52.85\00:14:54.19
That's right.
00:14:54.22\00:14:55.56
So there's really a--
00:14:55.59\00:14:57.93
you are gonna say something.
00:14:57.96\00:14:59.29
Yeah, you had mentioned earlier
00:14:59.33\00:15:01.50
that there is a
big surprise in here.
00:15:01.53\00:15:03.67
There is actually.
00:15:03.70\00:15:05.03
Yes, and I'm anxious to see
00:15:05.07\00:15:06.40
what we are
talking about the surprise.
00:15:06.43\00:15:08.57
Yeah, so when Paul
talks, here's the thing.
00:15:08.60\00:15:12.41
When Paul talks to
the wives, you know,
00:15:12.44\00:15:15.34
if you go back to the
wives you see he says,
00:15:15.38\00:15:17.95
"Wives, submit to your
own husbands, as to the Lord."
00:15:17.98\00:15:19.98
that's instruction to them.
00:15:20.02\00:15:21.35
"For the husband is
the head of the wife,
00:15:21.38\00:15:23.99
even as Christ is the
head of the church, his body,
00:15:24.02\00:15:27.12
and is himself its Savior."
00:15:27.16\00:15:28.69
Okay, so when he
talks to the wives,
00:15:28.72\00:15:32.03
the reason he gives is
he talks about the husband,
00:15:32.06\00:15:36.06
all right.
00:15:36.10\00:15:37.43
When he gets over to
the husbands, he says,
00:15:37.47\00:15:38.97
husbands love your wives.
00:15:39.00\00:15:40.64
Okay.
00:15:40.67\00:15:42.00
So, now he is giving
instructions to husbands.
00:15:42.04\00:15:43.37
Yeah. And
talking directly to them.
00:15:43.41\00:15:44.74
As Christ love the church
and gave Himself up for her.
00:15:44.77\00:15:49.04
The surprising thing is
00:15:49.08\00:15:51.81
that when he talks to the wives,
00:15:51.85\00:15:54.45
the focus is on something
that relates to the husbands.
00:15:54.48\00:15:58.92
Yes.
00:15:58.95\00:16:00.29
And when he
talks to the husbands,
00:16:00.32\00:16:02.32
the focus is on something
that relates to the wives.
00:16:02.36\00:16:06.56
The idea is that your
life, your married life,
00:16:06.59\00:16:11.50
your married
experience as a Christian
00:16:11.53\00:16:14.14
is not supposed to focus on you.
00:16:14.17\00:16:17.87
Yes.
00:16:17.91\00:16:19.24
It's supposed to
focus on your spouse.
00:16:19.27\00:16:23.28
Blessing and
uplifting and honoring them.
00:16:23.31\00:16:26.55
Yes.
00:16:26.58\00:16:27.92
You know,
unfortunate in our world today,
00:16:27.95\00:16:29.88
there is lots of turmoil
00:16:29.92\00:16:32.22
and I have a hard time
00:16:32.25\00:16:33.62
understanding
people like terrorists
00:16:33.66\00:16:35.89
and people that
are fighting and,
00:16:35.92\00:16:37.93
you know, just
doing all these things.
00:16:37.96\00:16:39.93
And I think
somebody one time said to me,
00:16:39.96\00:16:42.43
"Well, Tom, the
reason you think that way
00:16:42.46\00:16:46.27
is because you are Christian.
00:16:46.30\00:16:48.00
You get up in the morning
and you look in the mirror
00:16:48.04\00:16:50.11
and you say, whom
can I bless today?
00:16:50.14\00:16:53.44
Whom can I help today?"
00:16:53.48\00:16:54.81
I tell you what,
00:16:54.84\00:16:56.18
I get no greater joy
than helping somebody else.
00:16:56.21\00:16:59.21
I'm this PhD director,
what's my day involved?
00:16:59.25\00:17:02.55
Students coming into my
office with the problems
00:17:02.58\00:17:05.02
that they are facing.
00:17:05.05\00:17:06.39
It's this class or this
problem or this deal, you know.
00:17:06.42\00:17:09.42
I just love to help
solve the, you know,
00:17:09.46\00:17:11.36
open the door for them
00:17:11.39\00:17:12.73
so kind of
solve the problem and,
00:17:12.76\00:17:14.56
you know, figure something out.
00:17:14.60\00:17:16.56
That's a great joy
to me. It's a great joy.
00:17:16.60\00:17:18.27
Whereas these other people,
they get up in the morning
00:17:18.30\00:17:20.44
and they say, "Who can I hurt?
00:17:20.47\00:17:22.04
How can I aim?
Who can I blow up?"
00:17:22.07\00:17:24.04
That is sin.
00:17:24.07\00:17:25.51
As a Christian
that is so foreign.
00:17:25.54\00:17:27.18
Yeah, it's so foreign.
00:17:27.21\00:17:28.54
So, you know, our
job, our role as Christians
00:17:28.58\00:17:31.65
and particularly in
the Christian family
00:17:31.68\00:17:34.18
is to bless and encourage.
00:17:34.22\00:17:36.05
Now when you think about it,
00:17:36.08\00:17:37.52
if you have a self
sacrificing husband
00:17:37.55\00:17:41.29
who is focusing
on blessing his wife,
00:17:41.32\00:17:44.26
is that a hard
person to submit to?
00:17:44.29\00:17:46.93
No.
00:17:46.96\00:17:48.30
And if you think about a
wife who submits, who is--
00:17:48.33\00:17:52.23
I mean, it's not like
she is a doormat or anything
00:17:52.27\00:17:54.50
but she listens to
you, you listen to her
00:17:54.54\00:17:57.97
and you're gonna is
that a hard person to help?
00:17:58.01\00:18:00.28
No. No.
00:18:00.31\00:18:01.64
So Paul in both of these cases
00:18:01.68\00:18:04.41
points out the
importance of our need
00:18:04.45\00:18:07.38
to think of the other person.
00:18:07.42\00:18:09.52
And that takes
away some of the sting
00:18:09.55\00:18:11.65
that some people get
with this idea of submission.
00:18:11.69\00:18:13.52
They are like, oh,
that's so controlling.
00:18:13.56\00:18:16.42
That's so, you
know, you are in charge.
00:18:16.46\00:18:19.29
Jesus said, that's
what the gentiles do.
00:18:19.33\00:18:22.20
That's what the gentiles do,
He says, but not so with you,
00:18:22.23\00:18:25.03
but whoever wants to be
00:18:25.07\00:18:26.40
your master
must be your servant.
00:18:26.43\00:18:28.10
Amen. Must serve you.
00:18:28.14\00:18:29.47
Because the Son of Man
00:18:29.50\00:18:31.14
did not come to be
served but to serve
00:18:31.17\00:18:33.91
and to give His life as a ransom
00:18:33.94\00:18:35.28
to so many, for many.
00:18:35.31\00:18:36.64
The life of Jesus is the
great paradigm for our homes.
00:18:36.68\00:18:41.75
It's really interesting because
00:18:41.78\00:18:43.12
I was thinking
about this the other day.
00:18:43.15\00:18:44.62
I have a brother and I
have a sister and myself
00:18:44.65\00:18:46.96
and we are all giving people.
00:18:46.99\00:18:49.29
I mean, we all want to
go out our way to help.
00:18:49.32\00:18:52.13
So I don't know if
my father and my mother
00:18:52.16\00:18:56.63
I was fortunate
enough to, you know,
00:18:56.67\00:18:59.17
for them to remain married.
00:18:59.20\00:19:02.10
I don't know if they
had a plan or not, you know,
00:19:02.14\00:19:06.11
but I do know
that out of three kids,
00:19:06.14\00:19:09.01
you have three servants.
00:19:09.04\00:19:10.38
Nice.
00:19:10.41\00:19:11.75
So something was done right.
00:19:11.78\00:19:13.11
Something was right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:13.15\00:19:14.48
And you know, I've just versus--
00:19:14.52\00:19:16.55
I do know that personality
00:19:16.58\00:19:18.25
where it's more about themselves
00:19:18.29\00:19:20.26
and what can I get.
00:19:20.29\00:19:21.62
Well, can you,
could you run the store?
00:19:21.66\00:19:24.03
Man, it's kind of like
I've already picked the keys
00:19:24.06\00:19:26.53
and already gone,
you know, versus, well,
00:19:26.56\00:19:30.43
what we are paying
for gas to go do it.
00:19:30.47\00:19:33.84
You know, I mean there is just
00:19:33.87\00:19:35.20
a difference in
mentality there, you know,
00:19:35.24\00:19:37.01
and it just seems
like that's a blessing.
00:19:37.04\00:19:40.81
I remember one of
the greatest gifts--
00:19:40.84\00:19:44.11
See my wife is a medical doctor.
00:19:44.15\00:19:45.55
She is now retired
because of health issues
00:19:45.58\00:19:48.38
but she practiced
medicine for a number of years.
00:19:48.42\00:19:51.49
But I remember one
of the greatest gifts
00:19:51.52\00:19:54.19
that I believe that my
wife ever gave to our family
00:19:54.22\00:19:57.43
was for the first five
years of my daughter's life,
00:19:57.46\00:20:02.06
we have two kids
little boy and girl.
00:20:02.10\00:20:03.97
The girl is older.
00:20:04.00\00:20:05.33
But the first five years
of that little girl's life
00:20:05.37\00:20:07.67
she stayed home
00:20:07.70\00:20:10.21
and was taking
care of this little,
00:20:10.24\00:20:12.11
this little
children and helping them
00:20:12.14\00:20:15.84
and I still see
that the results of that
00:20:15.88\00:20:19.28
in the lives of
my children today,
00:20:19.31\00:20:20.88
both are still in the church.
00:20:20.92\00:20:22.65
My daughter and her husband
are both teachers down at,
00:20:22.68\00:20:25.52
down at Keene,
00:20:25.55\00:20:26.89
down at Southwestern Adventist
University biology department.
00:20:26.92\00:20:30.26
And my son, he is
in accounting work
00:20:30.29\00:20:33.19
and he has little children.
00:20:33.23\00:20:35.53
We have these little
grandchildren running around,
00:20:35.56\00:20:37.30
so you know, it's a great joy.
00:20:37.33\00:20:40.34
So good seed were planted?
00:20:40.37\00:20:41.84
Good seed were planted
00:20:41.87\00:20:43.20
and we are thankful
that they sprouted up.
00:20:43.24\00:20:45.04
This really
brings us to verse 31.
00:20:45.07\00:20:46.57
I wonder if you
read that for us again.
00:20:46.61\00:20:48.64
Thirty one. Verse 31.
00:20:48.68\00:20:50.01
Yes. Yes.
00:20:50.05\00:20:51.81
"For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother
00:20:51.85\00:20:54.22
and be joined to his wife,
00:20:54.25\00:20:55.68
and the two shall
become one flesh."
00:20:55.72\00:20:58.22
It's fantastic.
00:20:58.25\00:20:59.59
So I'm interested to see
00:20:59.62\00:21:00.96
how you're gonna handle to that.
00:21:00.99\00:21:02.32
Yes, now this is actually a
quote from the Old Testament
00:21:02.36\00:21:05.23
and he is quoting from
the Book of Genesis 2:24.
00:21:05.26\00:21:08.96
So I want to
turn over to Genesis
00:21:09.00\00:21:10.83
and read that passage,
00:21:10.87\00:21:12.93
Genesis 2 verse 20,
00:21:12.97\00:21:16.74
Genesis 2:18-25.
00:21:16.77\00:21:22.24
Genesis 2:18-25.
00:21:22.28\00:21:27.65
"And the Lord God said,
00:21:27.68\00:21:29.02
'It is not good
that man should be alone,
00:21:29.05\00:21:31.29
I will make him a
helper comparable to him.'
00:21:31.32\00:21:34.59
Out of the ground the Lord God
formed every beast of the field
00:21:34.62\00:21:37.36
and every bird of the air,
00:21:37.39\00:21:38.73
and brought them to Adam to
see what he would call them.
00:21:38.76\00:21:42.63
And whatever Adam
called each living creature,
00:21:42.66\00:21:44.77
that was its name.
00:21:44.80\00:21:46.37
So Adam gave
names to all cattle,
00:21:46.40\00:21:48.50
to the birds of the air,
00:21:48.54\00:21:50.11
and to every beast of the field.
00:21:50.14\00:21:51.64
But for Adam he was not found
a helper comparable to him.
00:21:51.67\00:21:56.81
And the Lord God
00:21:56.85\00:21:58.18
caused a deep
sleep to fall on Adam,
00:21:58.21\00:21:59.98
and he slept, and He
took one of his ribs,"
00:22:00.02\00:22:03.42
It's with the capital
H "Took one of his rips
00:22:03.45\00:22:05.89
and closed up the
flesh in its place.
00:22:05.92\00:22:09.66
Then the rib in which the
Lord God had taken from man
00:22:09.69\00:22:12.33
He made into a woman,
00:22:12.36\00:22:14.20
and He brought her to the man.
00:22:14.23\00:22:16.43
And Adam said,
00:22:16.46\00:22:17.97
'This is now bone of my
bones, and flesh of my flesh.
00:22:18.00\00:22:21.24
She shall be called Woman,
00:22:21.27\00:22:23.27
because she was
taken out of Man.'
00:22:23.30\00:22:25.81
Therefore a man shall
leave his father and mother
00:22:25.84\00:22:28.34
and be joined to his wife,
00:22:28.38\00:22:30.41
and they shall become one flesh.
00:22:30.45\00:22:32.98
And they were both
naked, the man and his wife,
00:22:33.01\00:22:36.38
and were not ashamed."
00:22:36.42\00:22:38.45
Okay. Amen.
00:22:38.49\00:22:39.82
It's a very interesting story.
00:22:39.85\00:22:42.02
Verse 18 is where the
story begins and it says,
00:22:42.06\00:22:44.33
''It is not good for
the man to be alone."
00:22:44.36\00:22:48.70
There are these two
stories of creation,
00:22:48.73\00:22:50.93
Genesis 1 focuses especially
on God's amazing power,
00:22:50.97\00:22:54.27
God the creator.
00:22:54.30\00:22:55.64
Genesis 2 focuses more
attention on the people
00:22:55.67\00:22:58.77
and how God put them together.
00:22:58.81\00:23:02.54
Verse 18 of chapter 2 is
the first time in the Bible
00:23:02.58\00:23:05.25
when we have
something said, "It's not good."
00:23:05.28\00:23:07.52
"It's not good." Yeah, well.
00:23:07.55\00:23:08.88
In chapter 1
everything was good,
00:23:08.92\00:23:10.25
it was good, it was very good.
00:23:10.29\00:23:11.62
Now here's
something that's not good,
00:23:11.65\00:23:13.42
"It's not good for
the man to be alone."
00:23:13.46\00:23:15.32
So what's the next
thing that God does?
00:23:15.36\00:23:19.03
God, He says, then we
need to make it good."
00:23:19.06\00:23:23.70
We need to make it good.
00:23:23.73\00:23:25.07
We need to find
you a mate, a helper.
00:23:25.10\00:23:27.54
Yeah, so what does he do?
00:23:27.57\00:23:30.21
See, we go back to the story.
00:23:30.24\00:23:32.14
Now this is the
surprising thing.
00:23:32.17\00:23:33.51
So what does he do?
00:23:33.54\00:23:34.88
He brings him all
the animals to name.
00:23:34.91\00:23:38.31
Okay. And that's kind of...
00:23:38.35\00:23:39.91
That's, that's...
That's kind of odd.
00:23:39.95\00:23:42.68
You know, what
he is trying to...
00:23:42.72\00:23:44.05
Yes, really. Yeah.
00:23:44.09\00:23:45.42
He is trying to match
him up with the animals.
00:23:45.45\00:23:46.79
You know, this one--
oh, that's not good enough.
00:23:46.82\00:23:49.02
You know, this one,
oh, that's not good.
00:23:49.06\00:23:50.39
This man is just
too hard to set right.
00:23:50.43\00:23:51.76
No, not this one, then we go to.
00:23:51.79\00:23:53.86
Actually the-- it
says and there was no,
00:23:53.90\00:23:57.80
there was no on found.
00:23:57.83\00:23:59.23
There was no creature found.
00:23:59.27\00:24:00.60
There was no
suitable helper for him.
00:24:00.64\00:24:01.97
So suitable helper. Yeah.
00:24:02.00\00:24:03.34
Now lot of people will say,
00:24:03.37\00:24:04.71
oh, they came in twos
00:24:04.74\00:24:06.07
and he noticed
that was male, female.
00:24:06.11\00:24:07.44
There is no burden for
him. It doesn't say that.
00:24:07.48\00:24:08.81
No it doesn't.
00:24:08.84\00:24:10.18
The difference actually is
not the difference of gender
00:24:10.21\00:24:12.88
but the difference of kind.
00:24:12.91\00:24:14.82
They are animals he is man.
00:24:14.85\00:24:16.52
And they are not like him
00:24:16.55\00:24:17.89
so they are not
suitable for him.
00:24:17.92\00:24:19.25
They don't match him.
00:24:19.29\00:24:20.62
And so what God does is then
He does the first anesthesia,
00:24:20.66\00:24:23.99
He does the first surgery
00:24:24.03\00:24:25.76
and He takes the
rib from the man side
00:24:25.79\00:24:28.40
and He makes the woman
and He brings it to the man.
00:24:28.43\00:24:30.87
And when she
comes, she is brought,
00:24:30.90\00:24:32.97
she is brought to him then
he has the first love poetry.
00:24:33.00\00:24:36.91
Yeah. Women love
this type of stuff.
00:24:36.94\00:24:38.94
But he does the
first poetry and he says,
00:24:38.97\00:24:40.51
"Now this is bone of my
bones, and flesh of my flesh,
00:24:40.54\00:24:43.08
shall be called Woman."
00:24:43.11\00:24:44.45
So what happened was
God was creating a miracle
00:24:44.48\00:24:46.75
in this ancient world.
00:24:46.78\00:24:48.12
He was producing a sense
of need in a perfect world.
00:24:48.15\00:24:52.52
So the man would
sense his need of the woman.
00:24:52.55\00:24:55.22
And then the apostle,
then Moses goes on to say
00:24:55.26\00:24:59.06
that the "Man leaves
his father and mother,
00:24:59.09\00:25:00.90
he becomes joint to his wife,
00:25:00.93\00:25:03.06
they become one flesh
and there is no shame."
00:25:03.10\00:25:06.27
There is these four steps.
00:25:06.30\00:25:07.64
Now we are kind of
running short on time
00:25:07.67\00:25:09.50
so but we will kind of--
00:25:09.54\00:25:10.87
Let's look at the four steps.
00:25:10.91\00:25:12.24
We will look at the
four steps real quick.
00:25:12.27\00:25:13.68
Yes. All right.
00:25:13.71\00:25:15.04
First they leave,
He leaves his family.
00:25:15.08\00:25:18.75
Now Israel was a
patrilineal society,
00:25:18.78\00:25:21.58
so the man would not be
the person who normally leave,
00:25:21.62\00:25:23.92
the woman would,
00:25:23.95\00:25:25.29
but he leaves and now
he is joint to his wife
00:25:25.32\00:25:27.86
because it is a new home.
00:25:27.89\00:25:30.29
Ellen White puts it nicely
00:25:30.33\00:25:31.66
in the book Ministry
of Healing, page 361.
00:25:31.69\00:25:34.76
"Around every family
there is a sacred circle
00:25:34.80\00:25:37.27
that should be kept unbroken.
00:25:37.30\00:25:39.27
Within this circle no other
person has a right to come.
00:25:39.30\00:25:42.84
Let not the husband or the wife
00:25:42.87\00:25:44.24
permit another to
share the confidences
00:25:44.27\00:25:46.07
that belong
solely to themselves.
00:25:46.11\00:25:47.98
Let each give love
rather than exact it.
00:25:48.01\00:25:50.68
Cultivate that which
is noblest in yourselves,
00:25:50.71\00:25:52.98
and be quick to recognize
00:25:53.01\00:25:54.35
the good
qualities in each other.
00:25:54.38\00:25:56.35
The consciousness
of being appreciated
00:25:56.38\00:25:58.19
is a wonderful
stimulus and satisfaction.
00:25:58.22\00:26:00.89
Sympathy and respect encourage
the striving after excellence,
00:26:00.92\00:26:04.23
and love itself increases as
it stimulates to nobler aims."
00:26:04.26\00:26:09.06
That's beautiful.
Beautiful passage.
00:26:09.10\00:26:10.60
So when it
comes to being joined,
00:26:10.80\00:26:13.30
it's a sense of permanence
00:26:13.34\00:26:14.90
and of passion that
they have for one another.
00:26:14.94\00:26:17.41
The idea of one
flesh clearly has a linkage
00:26:17.44\00:26:20.44
to the concept
of sexual relations
00:26:20.48\00:26:23.28
but the Old Testament
uses the word "to know"
00:26:23.31\00:26:27.88
as a euphemism
for sexual relations.
00:26:27.92\00:26:29.68
Adam knew his wife but
it's more than just sex
00:26:29.72\00:26:32.85
that's involved here
00:26:32.89\00:26:34.26
because sex in its
joy, in its permanence,
00:26:34.29\00:26:37.66
in its
pleasure, and its intimacy
00:26:37.69\00:26:39.73
unites two people
as nothing else can do.
00:26:39.76\00:26:42.56
You do something
with everybody else
00:26:42.60\00:26:44.10
but there is only one thing
00:26:44.13\00:26:45.47
that you only
do with your spouse
00:26:45.50\00:26:46.87
and that's sexual relation.
00:26:46.90\00:26:48.24
That's why it's so precious
00:26:48.27\00:26:49.60
and that's why the
devil wants to destroy it.
00:26:49.64\00:26:52.34
Now verse 25 seems
like an odd ending.
00:26:52.37\00:26:54.48
It says, they were both
naked but they weren't ashamed.
00:26:54.51\00:26:57.41
But the idea here is
the idea of innocence
00:26:57.45\00:27:03.32
and there was nothing shameful
00:27:03.35\00:27:05.15
about sex in that ancient world.
00:27:05.19\00:27:07.99
Well, that really brings
us to the end of the verses
00:27:08.02\00:27:11.09
in verses 32 and 33
00:27:11.13\00:27:13.16
and we may be just
read those real brief.
00:27:13.19\00:27:15.06
"This mystery is profound,
00:27:15.10\00:27:16.43
and I am saying that in
terms of Christ and the church.
00:27:16.46\00:27:19.40
However, let each one of
you love his wife as himself,
00:27:19.43\00:27:21.74
and let the wife see that
she respects her husband."
00:27:21.77\00:27:24.51
Paul summarizes all this.
00:27:24.54\00:27:25.87
Jesus is the pattern
for the husband and wife.
00:27:25.91\00:27:28.51
As the wife submits to the Lord,
00:27:28.54\00:27:30.78
she is to submit to her husband.
00:27:30.81\00:27:32.48
As Christ loves the
church and gave Himself for her,
00:27:32.51\00:27:37.05
so the husband
is to love his wife
00:27:37.09\00:27:38.59
sacrificially and supportively.
00:27:38.62\00:27:40.99
Christian marriage is not 50-50
00:27:41.02\00:27:43.02
it's 100 percent, 100 percent.
00:27:43.06\00:27:44.96
Amen. Amen.
00:27:44.99\00:27:46.43
So that's a summary
of Christian marriage.
00:27:46.46\00:27:49.10
Here again, Dr, Shepherd,
we want to thank you so much
00:27:49.13\00:27:52.00
because this is,
this is good stuff.
00:27:52.03\00:27:54.87
And in closing, I
thank with this very sample.
00:27:54.90\00:27:57.61
"Jesus Christ is the pattern
for the husband and wife."
00:27:57.64\00:28:01.34
Yes. You know.
00:28:01.38\00:28:02.71
So I thank you again
for being with us today,
00:28:02.74\00:28:05.68
for spending this time with us.
00:28:05.71\00:28:07.72
God bless you.
00:28:07.75\00:28:09.08