Hello, and welcome to
Heaven's Point of View.
00:00:15.91\00:00:18.81
This time our series
00:00:18.85\00:00:20.42
is on Love,
Marriage, Sex and Divorce
00:00:20.45\00:00:23.49
from the New
Testament prospective.
00:00:23.52\00:00:25.79
And our featured
host is Dr. Tom Sheperd.
00:00:25.82\00:00:29.52
Dr. Sheperd, is a man
of many accomplishments.
00:00:29.56\00:00:33.50
He is the director for
the Ph.D and Th.D programs
00:00:33.53\00:00:38.53
at Andrews University.
00:00:38.57\00:00:40.10
He's a professor of New
Testament interpretation
00:00:40.14\00:00:43.81
at Andrews University
00:00:43.84\00:00:45.54
and he has an
M.P.H and a Doctorate
00:00:45.57\00:00:49.31
in Public Health, am I right?
00:00:49.34\00:00:50.68
Dr. Sheperd. It's true.
00:00:50.71\00:00:52.55
I did theology in under graduate
00:00:52.58\00:00:54.25
at Pacific Union College.
00:00:54.28\00:00:56.22
And, then I went and did Masters
00:00:56.25\00:00:58.79
in Public Health
Nutrition and then the---
00:00:58.82\00:01:01.82
where they kind
of call at that time
00:01:01.86\00:01:03.19
the Doctor of Health Science
00:01:03.22\00:01:04.56
and later it was grandfathered
into Doctor of Public Health
00:01:04.59\00:01:07.46
so, that's my
Public Health side.
00:01:07.50\00:01:10.37
I sometimes, you know,
I mean, most of my work
00:01:10.40\00:01:12.70
is now in religion and
teaching New Testament,
00:01:12.73\00:01:15.57
but every once in a while
00:01:15.60\00:01:16.94
I kind of put on
my public health that
00:01:16.97\00:01:19.04
and share few health statistics
00:01:19.07\00:01:21.24
with my students
and things like that.
00:01:21.28\00:01:22.71
Well, that's awesome
'cause I know you're gonna share
00:01:22.74\00:01:24.81
some information with us today
00:01:24.85\00:01:26.95
that comes from
that health side as well.
00:01:26.98\00:01:29.18
So we're, really,
really happy and excited
00:01:29.22\00:01:31.49
to have you here
and to talk about
00:01:31.52\00:01:34.42
these topics of Love,
Marriage, Sex and Divorce.
00:01:34.46\00:01:39.03
Because, this is
such an important,
00:01:39.06\00:01:41.76
important array of topics
00:01:41.80\00:01:44.23
with what's going
on in society today.
00:01:44.27\00:01:46.43
Yes.
00:01:46.47\00:01:47.80
Is marriage
really that important?
00:01:47.84\00:01:50.04
Well, that's a,
that's a great question
00:01:50.07\00:01:51.97
because there's just
been an amazing shift
00:01:52.01\00:01:54.54
in American society
over about the last 50 years
00:01:54.58\00:01:58.55
in relationship to
sexually expression,
00:01:58.58\00:02:01.78
sexual behavior and
issues about marriage.
00:02:01.82\00:02:05.35
And it's quite
interesting that the,
00:02:05.39\00:02:07.66
well, the US government
00:02:07.69\00:02:09.02
is quite
interested in these topics.
00:02:09.06\00:02:11.36
They put our text others to work
00:02:11.39\00:02:12.99
and they actually did a
study back in the late 90s
00:02:13.03\00:02:16.03
that was published in 2002,
00:02:16.06\00:02:18.60
which is available on
the Center For diseases,
00:02:18.63\00:02:22.54
the CDC the Center For
Disease Control website,
00:02:22.57\00:02:26.64
you can look it up and
see the full report there,
00:02:26.68\00:02:28.74
but they have a kind of
an interesting summary about
00:02:28.78\00:02:32.61
marriage in this study.
00:02:32.65\00:02:34.72
This was the study
done by the US government
00:02:34.75\00:02:36.58
so, it wasn't from any
religious point of view.
00:02:36.62\00:02:39.85
It was from a government
stand point that they did this.
00:02:39.89\00:02:42.49
And I'd like to
read part of the summary
00:02:42.52\00:02:44.99
of the meaning of
marriage or it's a,
00:02:45.03\00:02:48.13
what it does to our
lives from this study
00:02:48.16\00:02:51.33
and here's what it says.
00:02:51.37\00:02:52.77
It says "Marriage is associated
00:02:52.80\00:02:55.04
with a variety of
positive outcomes,
00:02:55.07\00:02:58.24
and dissolution of marriage,"
that's divorce, break-up,
00:02:58.27\00:03:01.94
"is associated
with negative outcomes -
00:03:01.98\00:03:04.05
for men, women,
and their children.
00:03:04.08\00:03:07.35
Compared with unmarried people,
00:03:07.38\00:03:10.12
married men and women
tend to have lower mortality."
00:03:10.15\00:03:13.62
They don't die so much.
00:03:13.66\00:03:15.89
"Less risky behavior."
00:03:15.92\00:03:18.03
They're not doing drugs
and other kinds of things
00:03:18.06\00:03:20.46
that are messing them up.
00:03:20.50\00:03:22.16
"More monitoring of health."
00:03:22.20\00:03:24.43
Maybe they go to
the doctor more often.
00:03:24.47\00:03:26.43
"More compliance
with medical regimens."
00:03:26.47\00:03:28.80
So they take their
medicine, your wife says,
00:03:28.84\00:03:31.21
your husband says to
you, "Now, take your pill."
00:03:31.24\00:03:33.14
All Right, right.
00:03:33.17\00:03:34.51
"Higher sexual frequency."
They have sex more often.
00:03:34.54\00:03:37.38
"More satisfaction
with their sexual lives."
00:03:37.41\00:03:39.51
They enjoy it more.
00:03:39.55\00:03:40.88
"More savings,
and higher wages."
00:03:40.92\00:03:43.22
Well, this sounds pretty
good, but we're not done.
00:03:43.25\00:03:45.65
"Compared to
married individuals,
00:03:45.69\00:03:48.12
divorced persons exhibit
00:03:48.16\00:03:49.79
lower levels of
psychological well-being,
00:03:49.82\00:03:52.33
more health problems,
greater risk of mortality,
00:03:52.36\00:03:56.30
more social isolation,
less satisfying sex lives,
00:03:56.33\00:04:00.64
more negative life events,
00:04:00.67\00:04:02.30
greater levels of
depression and alcohol use,
00:04:02.34\00:04:05.04
and lower levels of
happiness and self-acceptance."
00:04:05.07\00:04:07.58
Pretty, pretty...
00:04:07.61\00:04:08.94
That sounds a little depressing.
00:04:08.98\00:04:10.31
Yes, it does.
I'm afraid it does.
00:04:10.35\00:04:12.41
Then there's more, it says,
00:04:12.45\00:04:13.82
"Adverse outcomes
accrue to children of divorce
00:04:13.85\00:04:17.62
and children raised in
single-parent families...
00:04:17.65\00:04:20.22
Children raised in
single-parent families
00:04:20.26\00:04:21.99
are more likely to
drop out of high school."
00:04:22.02\00:04:23.59
That's right.
00:04:23.63\00:04:24.96
"Have lower grades and
attendance while in school,
00:04:24.99\00:04:27.03
and are less likely to
attend and graduate from college
00:04:27.06\00:04:30.43
than children raised
in two-parent families.
00:04:30.47\00:04:33.44
Studies have found that,
00:04:33.47\00:04:34.80
compared to children
in two-parent families,
00:04:34.84\00:04:37.14
children of divorce score lower
on measures of self-concept,
00:04:37.17\00:04:41.94
social competence, conduct,
00:04:41.98\00:04:44.21
psychological adjustment
and long-term health."
00:04:44.25\00:04:47.65
It's amazing. That is amazing.
00:04:47.68\00:04:49.58
And, and I've heard
this time and time again
00:04:49.62\00:04:53.72
that so many children
suffer as a result of divorce.
00:04:53.76\00:04:58.49
Yes.
00:04:58.53\00:04:59.86
You know, and the,
and the financial outcome
00:04:59.89\00:05:02.36
is so much more dismal.
00:05:02.40\00:05:03.77
Yeah.
00:05:03.80\00:05:05.13
For a single parent families,
I mean that's one of the things
00:05:05.17\00:05:07.07
that we deal
with on Dare to Dream,
00:05:07.10\00:05:09.24
and our focus is on
single parent families
00:05:09.27\00:05:12.61
and just trying to help
the erosion of the family.
00:05:12.64\00:05:16.85
Yes, they need
support when that,
00:05:16.88\00:05:18.91
when that kind of
experience happens.
00:05:18.95\00:05:21.28
The, the idea
sometimes people get the idea
00:05:21.32\00:05:25.75
that they will get divorced
for the children's sake.
00:05:25.79\00:05:29.62
That's right.
00:05:29.66\00:05:30.99
Because, they're fighting,
00:05:31.03\00:05:32.36
but actually I mean,
unless there is physical abuse
00:05:32.39\00:05:35.20
and physical
abuse is always wrong.
00:05:35.23\00:05:38.03
But, unless there's that,
00:05:38.07\00:05:39.77
if they're just
fighting verbally,
00:05:39.80\00:05:41.84
you known, I mean, that
can be a pretty unpleasant
00:05:41.87\00:05:45.07
kind of a situation.
00:05:45.11\00:05:46.84
But actually it still
better for the children
00:05:46.88\00:05:51.21
than an experience where
the parents get divorced,
00:05:51.25\00:05:53.78
'cause the children
start to blame themselves,
00:05:53.82\00:05:56.15
like you said, they
have economic problems.
00:05:56.18\00:05:58.72
They don't have that
other person in their family,
00:05:58.75\00:06:01.86
that other male or
female role model before them
00:06:01.89\00:06:06.19
and the children,
they don't see everything
00:06:06.23\00:06:09.83
that's going on always
with the adults especially,
00:06:09.86\00:06:12.63
if the adults are
only arguing behind doors.
00:06:12.67\00:06:15.20
I mean, it's always sad.
00:06:15.24\00:06:16.57
And I, I hope that people can,
00:06:16.60\00:06:19.27
as we go through
these kinds presentations,
00:06:19.31\00:06:21.91
and we learn what
the Bible says about
00:06:21.94\00:06:23.41
marriage and
love, sex and divorce,
00:06:23.45\00:06:26.65
that they can see
00:06:26.68\00:06:28.02
that the Bible holds
out a better message.
00:06:28.05\00:06:29.72
Yeah.
00:06:29.75\00:06:31.09
Happy home, a
message about a happy home,
00:06:31.12\00:06:33.22
of about sharing
love with one another.
00:06:33.25\00:06:35.32
And, I think
that's an important point
00:06:35.36\00:06:37.19
that these programs
are not condemnation
00:06:37.23\00:06:41.06
for those that are divorced
00:06:41.10\00:06:42.53
or going through
these kinds of things
00:06:42.56\00:06:44.90
but, this is just showing
00:06:44.93\00:06:46.60
that the Bible
has a happier outcome,
00:06:46.63\00:06:49.94
a more fulfilling
outcome, a better plan for us.
00:06:49.97\00:06:53.48
God has a better
plan for us, than divorce.
00:06:53.51\00:06:56.01
And, our, our, message is,
00:06:56.04\00:06:59.18
should be
primarily for young people,
00:06:59.21\00:07:02.62
who haven't got married yet,
that they'll make good choices.
00:07:02.65\00:07:05.69
Yes.
00:07:05.72\00:07:07.06
Before, they get married,
they'll make good choices
00:07:07.09\00:07:08.56
in getting married
00:07:08.59\00:07:09.92
and they'll make good
choices after marriage,
00:07:09.96\00:07:12.79
after they get married.
00:07:12.83\00:07:14.60
Good choices
lead to good outcomes.
00:07:14.63\00:07:16.16
That's right.
00:07:16.20\00:07:17.53
Bad choices
lead to bad outcomes.
00:07:17.57\00:07:19.03
And the children,
young people are blessed
00:07:19.07\00:07:22.20
if they have
adults in their life
00:07:22.24\00:07:24.61
that they can trust,
that they can turn to
00:07:24.64\00:07:26.88
and follow good advice.
00:07:26.91\00:07:28.64
Absolutely.
00:07:28.68\00:07:30.01
But you know, there's no advice
as good as what's in the Bible.
00:07:30.05\00:07:32.41
That's right. The scriptures.
00:07:32.45\00:07:33.88
That's right,
and it's so relevant.
00:07:33.92\00:07:35.35
Yeah. What about divorce?
00:07:35.38\00:07:36.99
Are some people more likely
to get divorced than others?
00:07:37.02\00:07:40.36
They are, again, this big study
00:07:40.39\00:07:42.19
that was done by the government.
00:07:42.22\00:07:43.56
They said the
characteristics of individuals
00:07:43.59\00:07:45.73
related to a higher
probability of divorce
00:07:45.76\00:07:48.50
so, who is more
likely to get divorced?
00:07:48.53\00:07:52.27
And they just looked at
all the stats in terms of
00:07:52.30\00:07:54.90
you know, what
happens in people.
00:07:54.94\00:07:56.27
They found that, if you
get younger age of marriage,
00:07:56.30\00:08:01.64
if you get married younger,
00:08:01.68\00:08:04.05
you're more
likely to get divorced.
00:08:04.08\00:08:06.55
That's an interesting point,
00:08:06.58\00:08:07.95
because what
you, you are kind of,
00:08:07.98\00:08:11.39
your taste at 18 might
not be what you like it at 25.
00:08:11.42\00:08:16.83
Or 40.
00:08:16.86\00:08:18.19
Or 40,
00:08:18.23\00:08:21.06
so the younger, I've heard,
00:08:21.10\00:08:22.96
I've heard actually
some people advocate
00:08:23.00\00:08:25.13
for people getting
married at a younger age
00:08:25.17\00:08:27.97
because that
teaches you responsibility
00:08:28.00\00:08:29.80
and so on and so forth.
00:08:29.84\00:08:31.17
But, I think your
choices, your taste
00:08:31.21\00:08:33.91
is not really as developed.
00:08:33.94\00:08:35.91
Yeah. As
maturely as it should be.
00:08:35.94\00:08:38.28
So divorce happens more often
when younger age of marriage,
00:08:38.31\00:08:42.18
lower education
and later birth cohort.
00:08:42.22\00:08:47.66
Now, I have to
explain this idea of cohort.
00:08:47.69\00:08:49.79
A cohort is a group of people
00:08:49.82\00:08:51.43
that are identified
by some characteristic
00:08:51.46\00:08:55.13
and then you
follow them through time.
00:08:55.16\00:08:56.93
So a later birth cohort
means, a group of people
00:08:56.97\00:09:02.44
who are born later.
00:09:02.47\00:09:04.24
So if you were born
00:09:04.27\00:09:05.94
say back in the, in the 1950s,
00:09:05.97\00:09:10.61
you are less
likely to get divorced
00:09:10.65\00:09:13.52
than somebody was
born in the 1980s.
00:09:13.55\00:09:16.48
Yeah, so later birth cohort
00:09:16.52\00:09:19.59
gives you a higher
probability of divorce.
00:09:19.62\00:09:22.32
That's just one
of the indicators
00:09:22.36\00:09:24.09
that there's been a
shift about marriage,
00:09:24.13\00:09:27.60
about sexual ethics,
about all these things
00:09:27.63\00:09:29.70
in our society
over the last 50 years.
00:09:29.73\00:09:32.97
Then there's also,
later marriage cohort
00:09:33.00\00:09:35.77
so, people who
got married later.
00:09:35.80\00:09:37.91
People who got
married in the 50s
00:09:37.94\00:09:39.94
are less likely to have divorce,
00:09:39.97\00:09:41.98
than people who
got married in the 80s.
00:09:42.01\00:09:44.45
Because our society has
shifted its sexual mores,
00:09:44.48\00:09:47.62
its concepts of marriage,
00:09:47.65\00:09:49.15
its concepts of what
it means to be married
00:09:49.18\00:09:52.52
or to be sexually active.
00:09:52.55\00:09:54.62
Presence of a pre-marital birth.
00:09:54.66\00:09:57.23
So if you have
sex before marriage
00:09:57.26\00:09:58.69
and you get pregnant,
00:09:58.73\00:10:00.06
you're more
likely to have a divorce.
00:10:00.10\00:10:02.43
A pre-marital cohabitation.
00:10:02.46\00:10:04.30
If you got...
00:10:04.33\00:10:05.73
were living with
somebody before you got married,
00:10:05.77\00:10:07.97
you're more
likely to have a divorce.
00:10:08.00\00:10:09.57
Isn't that interesting?
00:10:09.60\00:10:10.94
Because a lot of people
say, "Well, let's try it first."
00:10:10.97\00:10:13.07
We'll try it out.
00:10:13.11\00:10:14.44
Yeah, we'll test drive
and see if it works for us.
00:10:14.48\00:10:17.08
They're actually
setting themselves up
00:10:17.11\00:10:18.98
more likely to
end up with divorce.
00:10:19.01\00:10:20.92
Pre-marital sexual activity,
they have sex before marriage,
00:10:20.95\00:10:23.25
they're more likely
to have divorce as well.
00:10:23.28\00:10:24.89
Yeah.
00:10:24.92\00:10:26.25
That is very
interesting. Yes, striking.
00:10:26.29\00:10:27.82
So, does religious
faith, what role does that play
00:10:27.86\00:10:32.06
in marriage and divorce?
00:10:32.09\00:10:33.66
Well, it makes a
difference actually.
00:10:33.70\00:10:35.60
Again, from the
study, they asked people
00:10:35.63\00:10:39.03
how important
religion was to them.
00:10:39.07\00:10:41.87
And then they
compared this with the data
00:10:41.90\00:10:45.31
for first marriage break-up,
if they're marriage broke-up.
00:10:45.34\00:10:48.44
So, at 15 years, at
15 years of marriage,
00:10:48.48\00:10:51.75
the statistics shows like this,
00:10:51.78\00:10:53.48
people who said that religion
was not important to them.
00:10:53.52\00:10:56.62
54 percent of
their marriages broke-up.
00:10:56.65\00:11:00.32
So about half, if
religion was not important,
00:11:00.36\00:11:03.79
about half of the marriages
at 15 years were broken.
00:11:03.83\00:11:06.83
Religion was
somewhat important to them.
00:11:06.86\00:11:10.03
The percentage was 45
percent, about 10 percent less.
00:11:10.07\00:11:14.90
So, they've still not quite half
00:11:14.94\00:11:17.01
but, still it was higher than,
00:11:17.04\00:11:19.17
than we come to the...
00:11:19.21\00:11:20.64
where religion is very
important to them, 37 percent.
00:11:20.68\00:11:25.38
So, there is about a
20 percent difference
00:11:25.41\00:11:28.68
between those who said religion
was not important to them,
00:11:28.72\00:11:31.72
and where religion
was very important.
00:11:31.75\00:11:33.62
So religion,
00:11:33.66\00:11:35.52
the importance of
religion in a person's life
00:11:35.56\00:11:38.29
has a protective
effect on their marriage.
00:11:38.33\00:11:42.70
And I mean, that make sense
00:11:42.73\00:11:44.13
because if somebody takes
the Bible's message seriously
00:11:44.17\00:11:46.63
and the Bible says,
God say, "I hate divorce."
00:11:46.67\00:11:49.10
They...
00:11:49.14\00:11:51.07
if they take that
seriously in their life
00:11:51.11\00:11:53.74
it's a value that
they've have internalized
00:11:53.78\00:11:55.61
and they say,
"Well, no I can't do that,
00:11:55.64\00:11:57.41
'cause Bible tells
me not to do that."
00:11:57.45\00:11:59.51
So, they're,
they're not likely to do.
00:11:59.55\00:12:01.55
If just somebody says,
religion is not important
00:12:01.58\00:12:03.25
they're like,
00:12:03.28\00:12:04.62
"Well, no. I don't
care for them anymore
00:12:04.65\00:12:05.99
so, I'm just
going to get divorced."
00:12:06.02\00:12:07.36
Yeah.
00:12:07.39\00:12:08.72
So, it gives you a standard
00:12:08.76\00:12:10.13
against which you
can base your life.
00:12:10.16\00:12:12.96
Yeah. Base your choices.
00:12:12.99\00:12:14.50
Yeah, yeah that they also found
00:12:14.53\00:12:16.60
that people who had
no religious affiliation,
00:12:16.63\00:12:19.63
that's people we would say,
00:12:19.67\00:12:21.00
that aren't members of a church,
00:12:21.04\00:12:23.00
okay, that they
were significantly
00:12:23.04\00:12:25.17
more likely to divorce
00:12:25.21\00:12:27.14
then those with
religious affiliation.
00:12:27.18\00:12:30.15
Religion, you
see, makes a difference
00:12:30.18\00:12:32.35
in marriage stability.
00:12:32.38\00:12:34.98
It's the US government
that's telling you this.
00:12:35.02\00:12:38.15
Isn't that interesting?
00:12:38.19\00:12:39.52
Yeah, the title of this study
is, Cohabitation, Marriage,
00:12:39.55\00:12:42.16
Divorce, and Re-marriage
in the United States.
00:12:42.19\00:12:44.19
And it's
available on the Centers
00:12:44.23\00:12:45.79
For Diseases control website,
which is a fantastic website.
00:12:45.83\00:12:49.36
I put on my public
health add here, and say,
00:12:49.40\00:12:51.03
"If you want good
health information,
00:12:51.07\00:12:53.37
go to the CDC website."
00:12:53.40\00:12:54.74
They have, they
have very useful,
00:12:54.77\00:12:56.74
and you'd be
surprised the things
00:12:56.77\00:12:58.11
that they have
on there you know.
00:12:58.14\00:12:59.51
And, one of them is this
whole big study on marriage.
00:12:59.54\00:13:03.31
That's tremendous.
00:13:03.35\00:13:05.15
I love the fact that we
can really go to the word
00:13:05.18\00:13:10.19
and find out,
just, it's so relevant.
00:13:10.22\00:13:12.52
It applies to us today. Yes.
00:13:12.55\00:13:15.12
And, to me worship together
00:13:15.16\00:13:17.33
is a really
intimate kind of thing.
00:13:17.36\00:13:19.49
When you worship
with your family,
00:13:19.53\00:13:21.50
it's such an intimate act
00:13:21.53\00:13:23.97
that I think we underestimate
the power of worship.
00:13:24.00\00:13:29.47
You know, they, the
studies that people talk about
00:13:29.50\00:13:31.97
are children do better in school
00:13:32.01\00:13:34.44
when the family has a
meal together, you know.
00:13:34.48\00:13:37.41
Isn't that interesting?
00:13:37.45\00:13:38.78
They eat, they eat
meals together you know,
00:13:38.81\00:13:40.15
when the children will
do well-- why, why is that?
00:13:40.18\00:13:41.52
Well, you're talking together.
00:13:41.55\00:13:43.49
It's not just eating
food, your conversing
00:13:43.52\00:13:46.52
and the children are learning
00:13:46.55\00:13:48.02
the vocabulary of
their parents, you know.
00:13:48.06\00:13:50.16
And, maybe they are
talking about the day.
00:13:50.19\00:13:52.09
Well, I'll tell you, for
years, what my family has done,
00:13:52.13\00:13:55.20
my wife and I will
have morning worship,
00:13:55.23\00:13:57.60
we read the
Sabbath school lesson.
00:13:57.63\00:13:59.77
We eat breakfast, we read
the Sabbath school lesson,
00:13:59.80\00:14:01.64
and we have a prayer calendar
from our Sabbath school class,
00:14:01.67\00:14:04.57
and from another
Sabbath school class.
00:14:04.61\00:14:05.94
And, we pray for people
00:14:05.97\00:14:07.31
and I just put in little
plug here for a 3ABN, that...
00:14:07.34\00:14:11.21
3ABN says, that you should
pray for everybody at 7o'clock.
00:14:11.25\00:14:14.25
7 and 7, you pray
for the Holy Spirit,
00:14:14.28\00:14:16.89
and my wife has set a little,
00:14:16.92\00:14:18.69
we're usually
eating breakfast around 7,
00:14:18.72\00:14:20.42
and my wife has set a
little alarm clock on her phone.
00:14:20.46\00:14:23.36
And, it goes off.
00:14:23.39\00:14:24.73
It sounds like a
little alarm clock going off
00:14:24.76\00:14:26.70
and little birds
singing or something.
00:14:26.73\00:14:28.96
And, then we know
it's time to pray.
00:14:29.00\00:14:30.80
And, then we stop and we'll pray
00:14:30.83\00:14:32.47
and we have some
grandchildren now,
00:14:32.50\00:14:35.00
and well, the
grandchildren they would say,
00:14:35.04\00:14:36.84
"Oh, it's time to pray."
00:14:36.87\00:14:38.21
You know, and if we
already prayed for them,
00:14:38.24\00:14:40.08
"Oh, we're gonna
pray again." You know.
00:14:40.11\00:14:42.48
So these kinds
of experiences are
00:14:42.51\00:14:45.28
which bring
stability to families.
00:14:45.31\00:14:47.18
Yes. Yeah.
00:14:47.22\00:14:48.55
Yes, and it's so important
00:14:48.58\00:14:50.62
to see fathers
pray, mothers pray.
00:14:50.65\00:14:53.42
Yes.
00:14:53.46\00:14:54.79
You know, because it
shows that God is at the center.
00:14:54.82\00:14:57.16
And we can relay upon
him and depend upon him.
00:14:57.19\00:14:59.56
Exactly.
00:14:59.59\00:15:00.93
Let's see what
words say in Ephesians 5.
00:15:00.96\00:15:02.70
Ephesians 5 has a section
00:15:02.73\00:15:05.10
that we're gonna
study when we're--
00:15:05.13\00:15:06.53
you know this, this
whole series of studies
00:15:06.57\00:15:09.17
that we're doing
talks about love,
00:15:09.20\00:15:11.34
we've already
talked about those,
00:15:11.37\00:15:12.77
the Old
Testament and New Testament
00:15:12.81\00:15:14.68
and I Corinthians 13,
00:15:14.71\00:15:16.18
and now, we're
gonna start on a serious
00:15:16.21\00:15:18.18
of a
presentation to on marriage.
00:15:18.21\00:15:20.48
Then we'll look at,
the presentations on sex,
00:15:20.52\00:15:23.45
and then we'll finish with
the presentation on divorce,
00:15:23.49\00:15:25.42
which is almost kind of sad
00:15:25.45\00:15:26.79
you know, like
finishing it up with divorce,
00:15:26.82\00:15:28.16
'cause that's not what
we hope people will end.
00:15:28.19\00:15:29.89
What we need to
know what the Bible says
00:15:29.92\00:15:31.26
about this subject.
00:15:31.29\00:15:32.63
But now as we turn to
the subject of marriage,
00:15:32.66\00:15:34.83
the Apostle Paul
has in Ephesians 5,
00:15:34.86\00:15:37.70
some very important
instruction about the household.
00:15:37.73\00:15:42.44
He was writing to
people 2000 years ago,
00:15:42.47\00:15:44.87
what we call the
Greco-Roman world
00:15:44.91\00:15:46.81
and the Greco-Roman house hold.
00:15:46.84\00:15:48.84
He was instructing people
00:15:48.88\00:15:50.35
how to be a Christian household.
00:15:50.38\00:15:53.05
So, he introduces
this in Chapter 5.
00:15:53.08\00:15:55.18
Now the book
Ephesians written by Paul
00:15:55.22\00:15:58.55
has at least four
major theological themes.
00:15:58.59\00:16:02.96
These four
themes are Eschatology,
00:16:02.99\00:16:06.03
Christology,
Soteriology, and Ecclesiology.
00:16:06.06\00:16:09.53
Bunch of ologies.
00:16:09.56\00:16:10.90
Yeah, bunch of
ologies, that's right.
00:16:10.93\00:16:12.40
Now, Eschatology has to
do with last day events.
00:16:12.43\00:16:15.47
Okay.
00:16:15.50\00:16:16.84
And the Apostle presents
that there are two ages,
00:16:16.87\00:16:20.04
there's the present age
00:16:20.08\00:16:21.41
and what he
calls the age to come.
00:16:21.44\00:16:23.75
That's when
Jesus comes back. Okay.
00:16:23.78\00:16:26.41
He emphasizes the,
00:16:26.45\00:16:28.22
in the book of
Ephesians the present benefits.
00:16:28.25\00:16:31.12
The present
benefits of the age to come.
00:16:31.15\00:16:34.92
It's in Ephesians
that we read the words
00:16:34.96\00:16:36.29
"By grace you have been saved."
00:16:36.32\00:16:37.79
Yes, yes.
00:16:37.83\00:16:39.16
So, you have present benefits
00:16:39.19\00:16:40.66
but, there's a
final consummation later.
00:16:40.70\00:16:43.06
Jesus is going to come back.
00:16:43.10\00:16:44.93
And, we'll experience
that when He returns soon.
00:16:44.97\00:16:48.44
The second great major theme
of this book is Christology;
00:16:48.47\00:16:52.54
probably you might say
the biggest theme of the book,
00:16:52.57\00:16:55.34
all about Jesus Christ...
00:16:55.38\00:16:57.51
Jesus Christ, is the risen Lord,
00:16:57.55\00:16:59.81
He is seated at
the right hand of God.
00:16:59.85\00:17:02.45
Yeah.
00:17:02.48\00:17:03.82
And His authority is for
the blessing of the church.
00:17:03.85\00:17:06.29
He talks about
giving gifts to the church
00:17:06.32\00:17:08.32
and blessing the church.
00:17:08.36\00:17:10.56
And the Apostle also says,
00:17:10.59\00:17:11.99
we're sitting in
heavenly places with Christ.
00:17:12.03\00:17:14.43
And, so it's kind of beautiful.
00:17:14.46\00:17:15.86
Then there's Soteriology;
that's all about salvation.
00:17:15.90\00:17:18.63
So we have last day
events, the doctrine of Christ,
00:17:18.67\00:17:21.64
Jesus Christ,
and then Soteriology,
00:17:21.67\00:17:23.20
it's a doctrine of salvation.
00:17:23.24\00:17:24.81
Christians experiences the
blessings of salvation now.
00:17:24.84\00:17:29.01
And, they will
receive the inheritance
00:17:29.04\00:17:31.11
when Jesus comes back.
00:17:31.15\00:17:32.48
Okay.
00:17:32.51\00:17:33.85
And, then the last
one is Ecclesiology,
00:17:33.88\00:17:35.22
that's doctrine of the
church, all about the church.
00:17:35.25\00:17:38.15
"The church is
the body of Christ."
00:17:38.19\00:17:40.56
Says, Paul.
00:17:40.59\00:17:41.92
It is God's family,
it is the new temple,
00:17:41.96\00:17:44.86
it is Christ's fullness,
and it's Christ's bride.
00:17:44.89\00:17:47.36
There's a lot
about the church...
00:17:47.40\00:17:49.06
Yes. In the book of Ephesians.
00:17:49.10\00:17:50.93
Now, the book divides
into two main sections, okay.
00:17:50.97\00:17:56.84
The first three chapters
are focused a lot on theology.
00:17:56.87\00:18:00.88
Give you the theological part.
00:18:00.91\00:18:02.51
And then, Chapter four to six
00:18:02.54\00:18:04.51
are instructions
in Christian living.
00:18:04.55\00:18:06.85
So, you learn the
theology, what's the doctrine
00:18:06.88\00:18:09.12
and what differences does
the doctrine make in your life.
00:18:09.15\00:18:12.35
If the doctrine doesn't make
any differences in your life,
00:18:12.39\00:18:15.62
then you know...
00:18:15.66\00:18:17.99
So, would you
say it's the teaching
00:18:18.03\00:18:19.36
and the application then?
00:18:19.39\00:18:20.76
Yeah, you can put
it that way certainly,
00:18:20.80\00:18:22.70
the teaching
and the application.
00:18:22.73\00:18:24.63
And, so the section of Chapter 5
00:18:24.67\00:18:27.17
is in this
second part of the book.
00:18:27.20\00:18:30.21
It runs from 5:21 through 6: 9,
00:18:30.24\00:18:32.94
and we'll study that
in a little bit later.
00:18:32.97\00:18:35.11
We're gonna do the
preamble this time.
00:18:35.14\00:18:36.54
Yeah. Sort of get ready for it.
00:18:36.58\00:18:39.18
But Paul links, interestingly,
00:18:39.21\00:18:41.12
he links his
household instructions
00:18:41.15\00:18:45.05
with the themes of the letter.
00:18:45.09\00:18:47.22
So, we say
there's those four themes,
00:18:47.26\00:18:48.89
Eschatology, Christology,
00:18:48.92\00:18:51.86
Soteriology, and Ecclesiology.
00:18:51.89\00:18:54.93
Now, the primary linkage
00:18:54.96\00:18:57.10
in the instructions
to the Christian home
00:18:57.13\00:18:59.47
are to
Christology and Ecclesiology.
00:18:59.50\00:19:02.40
When we get
there, we'll find out
00:19:02.44\00:19:04.07
that he talks about Christ
as the head of the church.
00:19:04.11\00:19:07.34
And he talks about the
church as Christ's body.
00:19:07.38\00:19:10.38
And he all intermingle
00:19:10.41\00:19:11.85
he's talking to
husbands and wife.
00:19:11.88\00:19:13.55
Sometimes, you
almost get the feeling like,
00:19:13.58\00:19:16.18
"Paul, are you still
talking about the home here?
00:19:16.22\00:19:20.29
Or are you
talking about the church?"
00:19:20.32\00:19:21.89
You know, he doesn't forget,
but he intermingles the two.
00:19:21.92\00:19:25.03
There is a...
00:19:25.06\00:19:27.50
there are secondary linkages
00:19:27.53\00:19:29.86
to Soteriology
and Eschatology but,
00:19:29.90\00:19:32.03
the big stuff is Christology
and, and Ecclesiology.
00:19:32.07\00:19:35.64
Now this is rather
important, that he has this,
00:19:35.67\00:19:40.01
this strong linkage
between the themes of the letter
00:19:40.04\00:19:42.64
and the
instructions for the home.
00:19:42.68\00:19:44.51
On illustration,
00:19:44.55\00:19:46.01
that Paul in writing
about the Christian home,
00:19:46.05\00:19:49.95
he's not just
giving a set of rules.
00:19:49.98\00:19:53.22
You know, he doesn't just, yeah,
00:19:53.25\00:19:55.09
sometimes people want to say,
00:19:55.12\00:19:56.46
"oh, he's just
parroting the people of his era.
00:19:56.49\00:19:59.46
You know, he's just talking like
00:19:59.49\00:20:01.13
everybody would
talk in his time.
00:20:01.16\00:20:03.06
Well, no...
00:20:03.10\00:20:04.93
You know, he's
intimately tying together
00:20:04.97\00:20:08.77
instruction for how you're
supposed to act as a Christian
00:20:08.80\00:20:12.11
with instruction for what
it means to be a Christian.
00:20:12.14\00:20:15.54
So, first you
learn that doctrine,
00:20:15.58\00:20:17.45
like you said, "The teaching."
00:20:17.48\00:20:18.81
And the, what does it
mean, how do you practice.
00:20:18.85\00:20:21.45
So, that is all on display
00:20:21.48\00:20:24.29
when he's talking
about the Christian home.
00:20:24.32\00:20:26.05
So it's really
beautiful, you know,
00:20:26.09\00:20:27.42
the way he just ties
them together so closely.
00:20:27.46\00:20:29.19
Yes, yes it's a
about relationship.
00:20:29.22\00:20:32.83
One's
relationship with one's spouse.
00:20:32.86\00:20:36.67
And, that relationship
as it links with God.
00:20:36.70\00:20:38.03
Husbands and wives. Yeah, yeah.
00:20:38.07\00:20:39.40
Yeah, and children and parents.
00:20:39.43\00:20:40.77
So the purpose of
these instructions
00:20:40.80\00:20:43.41
is to help a is to
help a Christian house
00:20:43.44\00:20:48.41
or house hold
in that time period
00:20:48.44\00:20:50.91
in that Greco-Roman world,
00:20:50.95\00:20:52.31
to understand what difference
it makes that you're Christian.
00:20:52.35\00:20:56.02
So it's not like we
said, not just a list of rules
00:20:56.05\00:20:58.92
but he actually
modifies the Greco-Roman home.
00:20:58.95\00:21:04.09
And, we'll talk about more later
00:21:04.13\00:21:05.99
the Greco-Roman
home was very top down,
00:21:06.03\00:21:08.66
very male oriented,
00:21:08.70\00:21:10.53
the leader of the home
was called paterfamilias
00:21:10.57\00:21:12.73
and he was pretty
much large and in charge,
00:21:12.77\00:21:14.60
he was the guy, you know,
was in charge of everything.
00:21:14.64\00:21:17.94
And, Paul really modifies
00:21:17.97\00:21:19.57
this a lot with
a different sense
00:21:19.61\00:21:21.21
of what it means
to, to be a Christian.
00:21:21.24\00:21:25.25
The section of the letter
00:21:25.28\00:21:27.52
that talks about this divides
into three unequal sections.
00:21:27.55\00:21:31.55
He talks to wives and husbands,
to children and parents,
00:21:31.59\00:21:35.42
to slaves and masters.
00:21:35.46\00:21:36.93
Interestingly,
he talks to the ones
00:21:36.96\00:21:39.06
that are not usually
considered to be the leaders,
00:21:39.09\00:21:40.93
he talks to them first.
00:21:40.96\00:21:42.70
So, he talks to wives first,
he talks to children first,
00:21:42.73\00:21:45.03
he talks to the slaves first
before he talks to the others.
00:21:45.07\00:21:48.04
In each case, the subordinate
party is addressed first.
00:21:48.07\00:21:52.07
And there are two parties
00:21:52.11\00:21:53.64
that actually
receives the most instruction.
00:21:53.68\00:21:56.14
That is the
husbands and the slaves.
00:21:56.18\00:22:00.22
Probably
because those two groups
00:22:00.25\00:22:02.15
had the most
that needed to change
00:22:02.18\00:22:04.52
from what was typical
in Greco-Romans society.
00:22:04.55\00:22:07.62
In ever pair, in every
case, Christ is the pattern.
00:22:07.66\00:22:11.73
Christ is the pattern to follow.
00:22:11.76\00:22:13.90
We probably ought to read here,
00:22:13.93\00:22:15.33
that first section
of Ephesians 5:1-14,
00:22:15.36\00:22:19.40
which is a kind of build
up just before our section.
00:22:19.43\00:22:22.34
So we get sort of the context
of what Paul is talking about.
00:22:22.37\00:22:25.61
Why don't you read that for us?
00:22:25.64\00:22:26.98
Ephesians Chapter 5: 1 to 14.
00:22:27.01\00:22:33.42
"Therefore be imitators
of God, as dear children.
00:22:33.45\00:22:36.75
And walk in love, as
Christ also has loved us,
00:22:36.79\00:22:39.72
and given Himself for us,
00:22:39.75\00:22:41.59
an offering and
a sacrifice to God
00:22:41.62\00:22:44.16
for a sweet smelling aroma.
00:22:44.19\00:22:46.56
But fornication,
and all uncleanness,
00:22:46.59\00:22:48.90
or covetousness,
00:22:48.93\00:22:50.27
let it not even
be named among you,
00:22:50.30\00:22:52.63
as is fitting for saints.
00:22:52.67\00:22:54.40
Neither filthiness,
nor foolish talking,
00:22:54.44\00:22:57.11
nor coarse jesting,
which are not fitting:
00:22:57.14\00:22:59.94
but rather giving of thanks.
00:22:59.97\00:23:02.08
For this you know
that no fornicator,
00:23:02.11\00:23:04.41
unclean person,
nor covetous man,
00:23:04.45\00:23:07.02
who is an idolater,
00:23:07.05\00:23:08.48
has any inheritance in
the kingdom of Christ in God.
00:23:08.52\00:23:12.45
Let no one deceive
you with empty words,
00:23:12.49\00:23:15.02
for because of these things
00:23:15.06\00:23:16.79
the wrath of God comes down
upon the sons of disobedience.
00:23:16.83\00:23:20.60
Therefore do not be
partakers with them.
00:23:20.63\00:23:23.87
For you were once darkness,
00:23:23.90\00:23:25.47
but now you are
light in the Lord.
00:23:25.50\00:23:27.80
Walk as children of light:
00:23:27.84\00:23:29.80
For the fruit of the
Spirit is in all goodness
00:23:29.84\00:23:32.37
and righteousness and truth;
00:23:32.41\00:23:34.18
finding out what is
acceptable to the Lord.
00:23:34.21\00:23:37.01
And have no fellowship
00:23:37.05\00:23:38.75
with the
unfruitful works of darkness,
00:23:38.78\00:23:41.08
but rather expose them.
00:23:41.12\00:23:43.28
For, it is shameful
even to speak of those things
00:23:43.32\00:23:45.79
which are done
by them in secret.
00:23:45.82\00:23:47.96
But all things that are exposed
are made manifest by the light,
00:23:47.99\00:23:52.06
for whatever
makes manifest is light.
00:23:52.09\00:23:54.76
Therefore he says,
00:23:54.80\00:23:56.13
"Awake you who
sleep, arise from the dead,
00:23:56.16\00:23:59.67
and Christ will give you light."
00:23:59.70\00:24:02.00
Isn't that
beautiful? That's beautiful.
00:24:02.04\00:24:03.47
The way that ends. Beautiful.
00:24:03.51\00:24:05.11
Yeah, now so this is
like the immediate background,
00:24:05.14\00:24:09.28
a context of the instructions
00:24:09.31\00:24:11.78
he's gonna give to the household
00:24:11.81\00:24:13.15
which he gets down to
in verse 21, 22 and onward.
00:24:13.18\00:24:16.62
We have a one more
little section to read
00:24:16.65\00:24:18.29
which is very fascinating.
00:24:18.32\00:24:19.65
And that will be in
another study that we look at.
00:24:19.69\00:24:21.72
But, we want to
see here how he begins.
00:24:21.76\00:24:23.63
In Chapter 5: 1 and 2,
00:24:23.66\00:24:27.70
the Apostle
begins by telling them
00:24:27.73\00:24:31.20
that they are to imitate God.
00:24:31.23\00:24:36.20
They are called to
be imitators of God,
00:24:36.24\00:24:38.31
and beloved children and
they are to walk in love.
00:24:38.34\00:24:40.94
That's in verses
1 and 2, all right.
00:24:40.98\00:24:42.98
So he gives you
first the pattern
00:24:43.01\00:24:45.58
of how you're supposed to,
00:24:45.61\00:24:46.98
the overall sort of
big large idea thesis
00:24:47.02\00:24:50.92
of what you're
supposed to imitate God.
00:24:50.95\00:24:53.56
So, your Christian home,
00:24:53.59\00:24:55.22
your life as a Christian
00:24:55.26\00:24:56.59
should be following
God's lead, being like Him.
00:24:56.62\00:24:59.86
All right.
00:24:59.89\00:25:01.23
But, then Paul goes on
00:25:01.26\00:25:03.03
and once he laid that foundation
00:25:03.06\00:25:05.47
how Christian are supposed
to act in verses 1 and 2,
00:25:05.50\00:25:08.67
he proceeds to give
a rather a long section
00:25:08.70\00:25:11.71
on how they're
not supposed to be.
00:25:11.74\00:25:13.78
What they're not supposed to do.
00:25:13.81\00:25:15.61
They're supposed to be
no illicit sexual behavior,
00:25:15.64\00:25:18.08
no uncleanness, no
greed, no wickedness,
00:25:18.11\00:25:21.45
no foolish
talking, or coarse jesting.
00:25:21.48\00:25:24.72
This is suggestive jokes
00:25:24.75\00:25:27.12
that have no place
in a Christian's life.
00:25:27.16\00:25:30.53
Sometimes people have
looked at some of these and say,
00:25:30.56\00:25:32.33
"Oh, Christians aren't supposed
to smile or tell jokes."
00:25:32.36\00:25:35.20
That's not what
he's saying. Right.
00:25:35.23\00:25:36.63
He's saying, what
you're not supposed to do,
00:25:36.67\00:25:38.70
is tell dirty
jokes, tell jokes that are,
00:25:38.73\00:25:41.27
you know, have
these double entendres
00:25:41.30\00:25:42.84
and all that kind of thing.
00:25:42.87\00:25:44.27
Paul draws a very
dark and deep line
00:25:44.31\00:25:48.64
or clear distinction
between the way of the world,
00:25:48.68\00:25:51.78
and way of life
of the Christian.
00:25:51.81\00:25:53.92
He gives reasons
00:25:53.95\00:25:55.28
for the Christians'
behavior being different.
00:25:55.32\00:25:57.69
And it's interesting
because he kind of gives
00:25:57.72\00:25:59.19
three different patterns here.
00:25:59.22\00:26:01.52
He talks first
about the "wrong doers
00:26:01.56\00:26:04.46
will not inherit the
kingdom of Christ and of God."
00:26:04.49\00:26:08.63
Some people
don't like that idea.
00:26:08.66\00:26:10.23
But, he makes that very clear,
00:26:10.27\00:26:11.87
"Don't be deceived."
00:26:11.90\00:26:13.23
"Don't be deceived"
exactly, they will not.
00:26:13.27\00:26:15.47
Then he goes on and he
talks about God's wrath,
00:26:15.50\00:26:17.94
"God's wrath is coming on
the sons of disobediences."
00:26:17.97\00:26:20.81
That's such an important topic,
00:26:20.84\00:26:22.18
the question of
the wrath of God.
00:26:22.21\00:26:23.88
You know, later discussion
in, in about sexuality,
00:26:23.91\00:26:28.02
we will talk about
what Paul says about
00:26:28.05\00:26:30.15
the wrath of God
in Romans Chapter 1.
00:26:30.19\00:26:32.39
People want to
listening on that.
00:26:32.42\00:26:34.39
But, he says "The wrath of God
00:26:34.42\00:26:35.76
is coming on the
sons of disobedience.
00:26:35.79\00:26:37.13
That's an Eschatological idea.
00:26:37.16\00:26:39.23
Then he talks about
the history of the change
00:26:39.26\00:26:41.46
that took place
in the Christians,
00:26:41.50\00:26:42.83
how they changed
from darkness to light
00:26:42.86\00:26:44.90
and he ends up
with the hidden things
00:26:44.93\00:26:46.40
of darkness are shameful.
00:26:46.43\00:26:47.77
So, he has an
Eschatological argument,
00:26:47.80\00:26:50.37
a salvation history
argument, and a moral argument.
00:26:50.41\00:26:53.98
He rejects the
world, and tells people
00:26:54.01\00:26:56.34
that they're
supposed to follow God's ways
00:26:56.38\00:26:59.41
and not the world's ways.
00:26:59.45\00:27:01.18
Yeah.
00:27:01.22\00:27:02.55
Yeah, he really captures
00:27:02.58\00:27:05.49
and encapsulates a lot
with this first chapter.
00:27:05.52\00:27:09.69
As, you said it's
kind of the over arching.
00:27:09.72\00:27:11.73
Yeah. Overview.
00:27:11.76\00:27:13.90
Yeah. Of what's to come.
00:27:13.93\00:27:15.26
Yeah, and so he gives them
00:27:15.30\00:27:16.87
this sense of how they're
supposed to live their lives
00:27:16.90\00:27:20.27
different than the world.
00:27:20.30\00:27:21.64
We Christians must
have a different prospective
00:27:21.67\00:27:24.47
and live in a way
that is following Christ
00:27:24.51\00:27:26.98
and in line with His principles.
00:27:27.01\00:27:28.44
Yes, and we'll have joy. Yeah.
00:27:28.48\00:27:31.41
Well, thank you,
so much, Dr. Sheperd.
00:27:31.45\00:27:33.58
Next time, we're gonna look at
00:27:33.62\00:27:34.95
what immediately precedes
Paul's household instruction.
00:27:34.98\00:27:39.22
Thank you so much for joining us
00:27:39.25\00:27:40.92
and be sure to
join us next time.
00:27:40.96\00:27:42.86
You don't want to
miss these programs.
00:27:42.89\00:27:46.26
Dr. Sheperd has
tremendous insights
00:27:46.29\00:27:49.46
that the Holy
Spirit has given him.
00:27:49.50\00:27:51.73
So, you don't want
to miss these programs.
00:27:51.77\00:27:54.44
Tune in next time as
we delve into the word
00:27:54.47\00:27:58.41
and look at Love,
Marriage, Sex and Divorce.
00:27:58.44\00:28:03.21
May God bless
you, as you continue
00:28:03.24\00:28:05.51
to seek Him in
spirit and in truth.
00:28:05.55\00:28:08.28