Hello, and
welcome to Heart Lift.
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I'm Jill Morikone,
and I'm so glad that you
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have joined us today.
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We're on a journey
toward hope, toward healing,
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toward the transformation that
the Lord Jesus wants to work
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in your heart and in mine,
as women, as daughters of God.
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If you're just joining us, we're
in the middle of a journey.
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The last few programs we
have been discussing pride.
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We started with the boastful
heart, the critical heart,
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the jealous heart, and our
last program was on the fearful
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heart, or the fear of
what other people think of me.
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Today is our last
program dealing with
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this subject of pride.
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And we're going to discuss two
different types of pride today:
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the offended heart and
the pride of false humility.
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Our Scripture
today is Psalm 36: 11.
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If you have your Bible,
open up and follow along.
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If not you can grab a pen
and jot down the references
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as we share them today.
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Psalm 36:11. Let not the
foot of pride come against me,
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and let not the hand of
the wicked drive me away.
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Let's pray. Father we
come before You right now
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in the name of Jesus.
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Thank You that You want to
receive us as Your daughters.
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Thank you that You want to
cleanse us and that you want
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to pour into us Your humility.
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Right now we just come before
You and ask that you could give
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us ears, and minds that are open
to hear what is in Your Word.
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And we thank You in the precious
and holy name of Jesus, Amen.
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The air felt balmy and mild.
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It was a mild day for
January, and especially in the
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mountains of Tennessee.
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A slight breeze tugged at
my sister's hair as we headed
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across the parking lot.
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I don't get to see my sister
that often, because she and her
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husband, and boys live in
the mountains of North Carolina,
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while Greg and I live
here in Southern Illinois.
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We had gotten together
in January in Gatlinburg,
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the Great Smoky Mountains.
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And it's a
beautiful place to go visit.
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Our husbands were
watching the boys.
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She had three boys at this
time, and she was pregnant with
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her soon to be fourth.
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We were going shopping.
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And to spend time with my
sister is always exciting.
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But to go shopping
is even more exciting,
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especially outlet shopping.
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To me this was a red letter day.
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We had started off at a good
clip, because we had a lot of
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shopping to accomplish before
we had to go back to the family.
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We went to Oshkosh, and
Children's Place, and Gap,
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for little
shirts for little guys.
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Then we went to Stride Rite
for shoes for ever growing feet.
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Finally we did some
shopping for ourselves.
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We went to Old Navy and
Motherhood Maternity for my
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sister, for the soon
to be baby number four.
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All of a sudden I
looked at the time and I said,
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Oh Lynn, I have to hurry.
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You know, we're
not going to make it.
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I need to step
out to one more store.
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I left her to finalize the color
and the fit of what she was
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going to purchase.
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And as I stepped out of
the store and went onto the
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sidewalk, all of a
sudden my eyes caught sight of a
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man and a little boy
coming across the parking lot.
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The boy was just a
little guy, probably no more
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than eight years old.
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He had both hands clasped
tightly to his daddy's big hand.
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They made quite remarkable
progress across the parking lot.
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Faster than I
would have imagined.
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I knew that I should be
hurrying on to the next store,
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but something told me
to wait, and to see what
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was really going on.
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So I kind of idled on
the sidewalk pretending to be
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walking while
really just watching them,
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and seeing what was going on.
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Something was
different about them.
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Something I couldn't
quite put my finger on.
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I wasn't sure what it was.
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Was it a mental
disability? no it wasn't.
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What was it? Why were the little
boy's eyes so tightly closed?
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Why his tight grip
on his daddy's hand?
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And then it hit
me, he was blind.
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I watched as they
stepped onto the sidewalk and
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disappeared into the crowd.
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And I marveled at the care of
the father, and the total trust
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of that little guy in his daddy.
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Right now you're probably
saying, Jill, what in the world
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does offended pride
have to do with blindness?
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I have no idea where
you're going with this.
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You know, recently a friend
said to me, I have a co-worker
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who is very emotionally needy.
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In fact, Jill, I've never met
anybody who is as emotionally
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needy as this person.
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She never can
see her own issues.
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She never can
see her own faults.
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I believe offended pride is the
inability, or the refusal to see
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ourselves as we really are.
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Have you ever seen yourself?
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I mean really,
really seen yourself?
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How do you react
to perceived slights?
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How do you handle
constructive criticism?
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How do you
interpret or misinterpret what
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someone else says?
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Has the spirit of offense
ever risen in your heart?
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My friend Shelley Quinn always
says the spirit of offense
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is the spirit of pride.
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Let's take our self evaluation
and see how much of this spirit
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of offense, or of offended
pride exists in our heart.
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As always, be honest.
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You don't have to
share it with anybody else.
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It's just for you
to go to God and say,
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Where do I think I fit here?
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Keep an open mind as you
look at these categories.
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Which one best describes you? 1.
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2.
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I can see myself
in both of those. 3.
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I don't know where you
feel today you are in that list.
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You might say, I
don't deal with that at all.
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And if that's the
case, Praise the Lord!
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You might be a
little more like me.
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When I was a little girl, I was
teased constantly, constantly.
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Now my Mom used to
say, Jill, they tease you
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because you react.
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If you would quit reacting
they would lose interest
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and do something else.
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They just tease
you because you react.
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My sister used to
mercilessly tease me.
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And my family, my friends,
even, I mean these are people
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I loved, but
they always teased me.
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And so she told me that,
but it was in vain because I had
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my wounded pride to protect.
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And so I would go off,
much to their amusement.
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It took years of unlearning,
years of choosing to take each
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thought captive to the
Lord Jesus before that spirit
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of offense began to
rise up less in my heart.
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In contrast to this is
the heart of my friend Valera.
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I've sat on school board
meetings with her for years.
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And when we would sit on those
school board meetings I would
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notice that she never took
offense when she was questioned.
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She accepted whatever
responsibility was given her.
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You could discuss
her work objectively,
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and she was not defensive.
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In a world of me first,
of overly sensitive women,
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hers was a rare experience, rare
but beautiful, rare but needed,
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rare but attainable.
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I asked her about that one day.
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I said, Valera, how
come, you know, she is very,
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she's not defensive.
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She's never defensive.
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And I said, Now
how come that is?
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Were you raised that way?
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And she told me that her Mom
used to often quote a certain
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Scripture when
things got a little rough.
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And the Scripture
was this: Psalm 119:165.
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In the King James Version
it says: Great peace have they
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which love Thy law, and
nothing shall offend them.
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Nothing shall offend them.
00:10:04.37\00:10:07.00
There's that spirit of offense.
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If you love God's law; if we
train our minds, and our hearts
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to think about God's
law, you know what it does?
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It releases that spirit
of offense in our hearts.
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Now I want to make
an observation here.
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We want to be careful not
to confuse a sensitive spirit
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with an offended spirit.
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I think they are two
totally different things.
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I believe as women, God has
given us a gift of sensitivity
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and of compassion.
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That is a beautiful thing.
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Showing compassion
to a struggling sister,
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taking time to
hear the cry of a child,
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being open to the
slightest whisper of Jesus
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is a wonderful thing.
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That's not what
we're talking about.
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Sensitivity and
compassion are beautiful.
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However, an offended heart
becomes offended at what other
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people say or do to me.
00:11:05.53\00:11:07.30
It becomes defensive when
my faults are pointed out,
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or my decisions
are being questioned.
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It reacts to jokes
that are made about me.
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You see the difference
between the sensitive spirit
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and the offended spirit.
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There's a quote I love;
someone texted this quote to me
00:11:23.41\00:11:28.48
some time ago when I was
going through a hard time.
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It was one of those times
when I felt like other people
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were talking about me.
00:11:36.19\00:11:37.59
I felt like other people
were saying negative things,
00:11:37.63\00:11:42.20
and it hurt. And I took it to
God and I said, God I don't want
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an offended spirit, but
I don't know how to change.
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I don't know how to get
rid of that pain in my heart.
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I don't know how
to release it to You.
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And this friend sent
me a text with this quote.
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It's a powerful quote.
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I do not know
where it originated.
00:12:05.62\00:12:07.56
I do know they use it in AA
meetings, but I actually don't
00:12:07.59\00:12:10.83
know where it originated.
00:12:10.86\00:12:12.66
And the quote is this: Humility
is perpetual quietness of heart.
00:12:12.69\00:12:18.80
It is to have no trouble.
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It is never to be fretted
or vexed, irritable or sore.
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To wonder at
nothing that is done to me,
00:12:25.64\00:12:28.31
to feel nothing done against me.
00:12:28.34\00:12:31.95
It is to be at rest
when nobody praises me.
00:12:31.98\00:12:35.12
And when I am
blamed and despised,
00:12:35.15\00:12:38.02
it is to have a blessed
home in myself where I can go in
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and shut the door, and
pray to my Father in heaven,
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and be at peace, as in a deep
sea of calmness, when all around
00:12:47.20\00:12:52.93
and about, is seeming trouble.
00:12:52.97\00:12:55.90
That is a beautiful thing.
00:12:55.94\00:12:59.27
That is a beautiful experience.
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I want that! I want that
humility where all about is
00:13:03.08\00:13:07.22
seeming trouble, and all these
challenges and things going on
00:13:07.25\00:13:10.12
around? None of that matters,
because all that matters is that
00:13:10.15\00:13:13.82
I go in; I shut the door,
and I'm at peace with my Father
00:13:13.86\00:13:20.50
in heaven, with the world.
00:13:20.53\00:13:22.40
To be at rest when
nobody blames me or praises me;
00:13:22.43\00:13:26.13
none of that matters.
00:13:26.17\00:13:27.97
There's a quote I like,
this came from the book,
00:13:28.00\00:13:32.37
the Desire of Ages. And it
says something very similar.
00:13:32.41\00:13:35.01
It talks about Jesus.
00:13:35.04\00:13:36.85
It says, In the heart of Christ,
where rained perfect harmony
00:13:36.88\00:13:41.52
with God there
was perfect peace.
00:13:41.55\00:13:45.09
He was never elated by applause,
nor dejected by censure
00:13:45.12\00:13:50.99
or disappointment.
00:13:51.03\00:13:52.36
Unless we make a total
surrender of our hearts to God,
00:13:52.39\00:13:57.90
we cannot find peace.
00:13:57.93\00:14:00.10
And then this quote I
like, I have it actually written
00:14:00.14\00:14:03.00
in the front pages of my
Bible, I put my favorite quotes.
00:14:03.04\00:14:06.94
And this says, It is the
love of self that brings unrest.
00:14:06.98\00:14:12.91
So you know what that tells me?
00:14:12.95\00:14:14.42
Anytime I feel unsettled in
my spirit, anytime I have angst
00:14:14.45\00:14:19.35
inside, anytime there's trauma
and stress and I just don't
00:14:19.39\00:14:23.66
feel right with the
world, you know what I say?
00:14:23.69\00:14:25.96
Jill you've got self inside.
00:14:25.99\00:14:27.90
That self is not
surrendered to the Lord Jesus.
00:14:27.93\00:14:31.37
That self is still alive.
00:14:31.40\00:14:34.04
God says,
Surrender it back to Me.
00:14:34.07\00:14:38.71
We're discussing two
types of pride today:
00:14:38.74\00:14:40.78
the offended pride, and
the pride of false humility.
00:14:40.81\00:14:44.81
Now I think of all the prides,
this one is the most difficult
00:14:44.85\00:14:48.48
to discern, and we don't
have any self evaluation for it,
00:14:48.52\00:14:51.85
cause it's very tricky;
it's very hard to sense.
00:14:51.89\00:14:56.06
The pride of false humility is a
type that meekly grovels in the
00:14:56.09\00:15:00.43
dust, pretending to be nothing,
while in my heart I really
00:15:00.46\00:15:05.03
believe I am something.
00:15:05.07\00:15:06.90
It would be someone who says,
I didn't do a very good job
00:15:06.94\00:15:10.47
preaching, when in reality
many people in the congregation
00:15:10.51\00:15:14.38
said that they were blessed.
00:15:14.41\00:15:16.08
It would be the
student who says, I'm not very
00:15:16.11\00:15:18.95
good at literature, when
they're getting straight A's.
00:15:18.98\00:15:22.78
It would be someone who
says, I'm not doing very much
00:15:22.82\00:15:26.59
for Jesus, when in
reality they have a
00:15:26.62\00:15:29.66
powerful ministry for God.
00:15:29.69\00:15:32.99
It's a creeping, and insidious
pride, because it looks so good.
00:15:33.03\00:15:36.97
It appears humble.
00:15:37.00\00:15:38.77
What's the problem?
00:15:38.80\00:15:40.50
It's that it's self focused
instead of Jesus focused.
00:15:40.54\00:15:44.51
It's concerned with looking
humble instead of seeking
00:15:44.57\00:15:48.51
to please my Father's heart.
00:15:48.54\00:15:51.61
It's obsessed with what
other people think of me,
00:15:51.65\00:15:55.35
rather than what
God thinks of me.
00:15:55.38\00:15:58.52
It's entirely about
myself while I still appear,
00:15:58.55\00:16:02.92
or try to appear
entirely selfless.
00:16:02.96\00:16:07.33
I had a friend who used
to talk fairly regularly
00:16:07.36\00:16:12.17
about her shortcomings.
00:16:12.20\00:16:14.10
She would say, Oh, I'm
not a very hard worker.
00:16:14.14\00:16:18.04
Oh, I don't do a
really good job at that Jill.
00:16:18.07\00:16:21.94
Oh, I'm just not
really good with people.
00:16:21.98\00:16:24.55
And you know what the truth was?
00:16:24.58\00:16:26.11
She was a very hard worker.
00:16:26.15\00:16:29.15
She was excellent with people.
00:16:29.18\00:16:32.12
She had a beautiful
smile, a sweet spirit.
00:16:32.15\00:16:34.92
She was good
working with other people.
00:16:34.96\00:16:37.66
How sad that 1. It could
have been lack of self-worth;
00:16:37.69\00:16:42.76
not seeing who God saw her as.
00:16:42.80\00:16:45.63
And that could have been
it, or it could be the other,
00:16:45.67\00:16:48.27
the produce false humility.
00:16:48.30\00:16:50.74
And, you know, God never
calls us to judge someone else.
00:16:50.81\00:16:53.84
He never calls us to
say, Okay, that's your issue.
00:16:53.88\00:16:57.55
He never calls us to
diagnose what is going on
00:16:57.58\00:17:01.18
in someone else's heart.
00:17:01.22\00:17:02.62
He only calls us
to examine ourselves.
00:17:02.65\00:17:05.75
He only calls us to
look at ourself and say,
00:17:05.79\00:17:08.72
God, is there any pride of false
humility going on in my life?
00:17:08.76\00:17:15.53
C. S. Lewis says, A
humble person will not be
00:17:15.56\00:17:19.60
thinking about humility.
00:17:19.63\00:17:21.57
He won't be thinking
about himself at all.
00:17:21.60\00:17:25.14
It seems like the more I try
to be humble, the more I think
00:17:25.17\00:17:28.61
about myself, and then
the more prideful I've become.
00:17:28.64\00:17:32.21
So how do we break free?
00:17:32.28\00:17:35.45
I want to share five quick
steps for how to break free
00:17:35.48\00:17:40.49
from this type of pride.
00:17:40.56\00:17:42.09
First one is in
Galatians 6, Galatians 6.
00:17:42.12\00:17:49.16
First, don't be discouraged.
00:17:49.20\00:17:52.00
Galatians 6:9, this is
my Bible's New King James.
00:17:52.03\00:17:55.40
It says, Don't be
weary while doing good:
00:17:55.44\00:17:58.77
for in due season we shall
reap, if we do not lose heart.
00:17:58.81\00:18:02.84
But I especially like it in the
NLT, so I'm going to read it,
00:18:02.88\00:18:06.85
to you as well in that version,
News Living Translation.
00:18:06.92\00:18:09.62
Lets not get tired
of doing what is good.
00:18:09.65\00:18:13.02
At just the right time we
will reap a harvest of blessing,
00:18:13.05\00:18:18.03
if we don't give up.
00:18:18.06\00:18:20.20
1. Just don't give up.
00:18:20.23\00:18:22.46
Don't feel discouraged.
00:18:22.50\00:18:24.70
If you feel that pride coming
all over you, go to Jesus.
00:18:24.73\00:18:28.44
He can forgive. He can cleanse.
00:18:28.47\00:18:31.87
Don't feel discouraged.
00:18:31.91\00:18:34.44
2. Spend time
in the word of God.
00:18:34.51\00:18:38.95
I know many of you maybe
have come from a broken home.
00:18:38.98\00:18:43.79
Maybe you suffered abuse in
your past, or maybe right now
00:18:43.82\00:18:48.56
you're suffering
some sort of abuse.
00:18:48.62\00:18:51.26
Whatever is in your life, and
in your heart, you might have
00:18:51.29\00:18:55.70
because of that past, because
of that pain, you might have a
00:18:55.73\00:19:00.07
warped picture of God.
00:19:00.14\00:19:02.50
You might say, I don't
know if I can trust Him.
00:19:02.54\00:19:06.07
I don't know if I can love Him.
00:19:06.11\00:19:07.71
I don't know! That's
where the word of God comes in.
00:19:07.74\00:19:14.02
Those are lies from the enemy.
00:19:14.05\00:19:15.82
But the word of God can
straighten out whatever warped
00:19:15.85\00:19:19.65
thinking we have
about God the Father.
00:19:19.72\00:19:22.06
Trust the word
of God to do that.
00:19:22.12\00:19:23.96
Jeremiah 31:3 says, The Lord
appeared of old to me saying,
00:19:23.99\00:19:31.57
Yes, I loved you
with an everlasting love:
00:19:31.60\00:19:35.34
therefore with loving
kindness I have drawn you.
00:19:35.37\00:19:39.74
If you think God isn't
love, or God can't love me,
00:19:39.77\00:19:43.65
or God can't forgive
me, go to the word of God,
00:19:43.68\00:19:47.05
and it can alter, it can
strengthen our warped picture.
00:19:47.08\00:19:51.35
It will alter that so that it
comes in line with who God is.
00:19:51.39\00:19:55.42
And we know that God is love.
00:19:55.49\00:19:59.39
Maybe you're not real
comfortable with the Bible.
00:19:59.43\00:20:02.96
I was talking with a woman
on the phone, and she said,
00:20:03.00\00:20:05.17
Jill, I'm just, I don't
even know where to start.
00:20:05.20\00:20:08.20
I don't read my Bible.
00:20:08.24\00:20:09.70
I'm not very comfortable.
00:20:09.74\00:20:11.17
I don't know
what to do with this.
00:20:11.21\00:20:13.04
And so I encouraged her.
00:20:13.07\00:20:14.84
Start in one of the gospels.
00:20:14.88\00:20:16.58
She decided to start
in the gospel of John,
00:20:16.61\00:20:19.11
which happens to
probably be my favorite gospel.
00:20:19.15\00:20:21.82
She started there.
00:20:21.85\00:20:23.18
And I said, Just read
a few verses every day.
00:20:23.22\00:20:26.19
I think it's more important
to read a short passage,
00:20:26.22\00:20:29.39
and to meditate on it, to
see what God has for you today
00:20:29.42\00:20:33.83
in that passage than it is
for you to read great quantities
00:20:33.86\00:20:39.00
and not get anything from it.
00:20:39.03\00:20:40.57
It's more important to
spend time on just a little bit.
00:20:40.64\00:20:44.54
She said she got so into
the word of God, in one week
00:20:44.57\00:20:48.48
she read the whole book
of John, and how she had
00:20:48.51\00:20:51.35
learned so much in that.
00:20:51.38\00:20:54.15
So you start. Pick the gospels.
00:20:54.18\00:20:56.55
Pick a few verses every day.
00:20:56.58\00:20:58.85
And just ask God
before you read it,
00:20:58.92\00:21:01.49
God will you
show me who You are?
00:21:01.52\00:21:04.03
Will You show me
about Your character?
00:21:04.06\00:21:07.73
And He will reveal Himself
to you in an incredible way.
00:21:07.76\00:21:12.77
1. Don't get discouraged.
00:21:12.80\00:21:15.34
2. Spend time in His word.
00:21:15.40\00:21:17.87
Take those thoughts
captive, as you read and study,
00:21:17.91\00:21:21.34
2 Corinthians 10:5, Bringing
into captivity every thought
00:21:21.38\00:21:25.65
to the obedience of Christ.
00:21:25.68\00:21:28.88
Bring those thoughts captive.
00:21:28.92\00:21:32.09
And we can't even bring
them captive unless we know what
00:21:32.12\00:21:34.62
the word of God says.
00:21:34.66\00:21:35.99
Spend time in the word of God.
00:21:36.02\00:21:38.19
3. Focus on other people.
00:21:38.26\00:21:41.50
God has blessed my husband
Greg with a listening heart.
00:21:41.56\00:21:45.57
Many times maybe
we'll go out with friends,
00:21:45.63\00:21:47.74
and we'll come back, and
I'll say, Oh, but we were having
00:21:47.80\00:21:51.04
this discussion
about such and such,
00:21:51.07\00:21:52.67
and you didn't share about that.
00:21:52.71\00:21:54.14
And he'll say, and when he
does, it kind of rebukes me
00:21:54.18\00:21:57.55
in my heart, he'll say, It's
okay Jilly, I don't need to tell
00:21:57.58\00:22:01.45
them about that. I was so
blessed by what they told me.
00:22:01.48\00:22:07.32
God has blessed him
with a listening heart.
00:22:07.36\00:22:10.39
Focus on other people.
00:22:10.43\00:22:12.39
As we focus on others,
we focus less on ourselves.
00:22:12.43\00:22:16.73
Ask God for a listening heart,
a heart that's going to hear,
00:22:16.77\00:22:20.40
a heart that listens, a heart
that empathizes with others.
00:22:20.44\00:22:25.17
James 1:19 says, My beloved
brethren, let everyone be
00:22:25.21\00:22:31.55
swift to hear, slow to
speak, and slow to wrath.
00:22:31.58\00:22:35.42
How often I'm swift to
speak and slow to hear.
00:22:35.45\00:22:38.55
And God says, Jill,
you have that mixed up.
00:22:38.59\00:22:41.62
Ask me. I can make you
swift to hear and slow to speak.
00:22:41.66\00:22:46.73
4. Pray for humility.
00:22:46.76\00:22:50.67
Ask God to work in your
heart and life humility.
00:22:50.70\00:22:56.64
1 Peter 5:6, 7 says, Humble
yourself under the mighty hand
00:22:56.67\00:23:02.41
of God, that He may exalt you
in due time: casting all your
00:23:02.44\00:23:08.15
care upon Him;
for He cares for you.
00:23:08.18\00:23:11.05
So humble ourselves
under the mighty hand of God.
00:23:11.09\00:23:14.66
And finally, 5. Guard
against the first step of pride.
00:23:14.69\00:23:19.73
Proverbs 4:23 says, Keep
your heart with all diligence;
00:23:19.79\00:23:24.77
for out of it
spring the issues of life.
00:23:24.83\00:23:27.97
Focus on what's going on inside.
00:23:28.00\00:23:31.07
Guard against that
first step of pride.
00:23:31.11\00:23:34.41
1. Don't be discouraged
if you feel like there is
00:23:34.44\00:23:39.61
pride in your heart.
00:23:39.65\00:23:40.98
2. Spend time in His word.
00:23:41.02\00:23:43.08
See who Jesus really is.
00:23:43.15\00:23:45.69
3. Focus on other
people, not ourselves.
00:23:45.72\00:23:49.82
4. Pray for humility.
00:23:49.86\00:23:52.53
And 5. Guard against
the first step of pride.
00:23:52.56\00:23:56.73
We're going to
take a short break.
00:23:56.77\00:23:58.23
We'll do our practical
application for this week.
00:23:58.27\00:24:00.64
We'll be right back.
00:24:00.67\00:24:02.00