Hello, and welcome to Heart Lift. 00:00:25.19\00:00:26.72 I'm Jill Morikone, and I'm so glad that 00:00:26.76\00:00:28.99 you've joined us today. 00:00:29.02\00:00:30.56 We're on a journey toward hope, toward healing, 00:00:30.59\00:00:34.56 toward the transformation that the Lord Jesus wants to work 00:00:34.60\00:00:39.43 in your heart and in mine, as women, as daughters of God. 00:00:39.47\00:00:44.24 If you're just joining us today for the first time, 00:00:44.27\00:00:48.04 we're in the midst of our discussion 00:00:48.08\00:00:49.98 on the topic of purity. 00:00:50.05\00:00:52.41 Our last program we discussed purity from the aspect of 00:00:52.45\00:00:56.79 guarding my brother's heart, or dealing with 00:00:56.82\00:00:59.99 my brother in Christ. 00:01:00.02\00:01:01.69 We talked about two dangers, two things to beware of: 00:01:01.72\00:01:06.13 Beware of the unguarded heart. 00:01:06.16\00:01:09.43 Beware of that idleness, or day dreaming, 00:01:09.46\00:01:12.23 or compromising situations. 00:01:12.27\00:01:15.04 The second danger is beware of the discontented heart. 00:01:15.10\00:01:19.87 If you're married, beware of those comparisons that we could 00:01:19.91\00:01:23.78 make with someone else's husband. 00:01:23.81\00:01:26.15 Or beware of just being dissatisfied 00:01:26.18\00:01:28.48 with who God has given you. 00:01:28.55\00:01:30.39 If you're single, beware of that dissatisfaction of 00:01:30.42\00:01:35.19 wishing to be married. 00:01:35.22\00:01:36.66 Now of course, those things are natural and God given. 00:01:36.69\00:01:39.49 We're not saying that. 00:01:39.53\00:01:40.86 We're just saying, Take those feelings, take them to God 00:01:40.90\00:01:44.37 and allow Him to pour His love into your heart. 00:01:44.40\00:01:48.84 Our Scripture for today, as we discuss the forward heart, 00:01:48.90\00:01:53.48 our Scripture today, 1 John 2: 10, 1 John 2:10. The Bible says: 00:01:53.51\00:02:02.32 He who loves his brother abides in the light, 00:02:02.35\00:02:06.62 and there is no cause for stumbling in him. 00:02:06.65\00:02:10.86 Let's pray. Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus. 00:02:10.89\00:02:14.93 Thank You, Lord Jesus, for enabling us to 00:02:14.96\00:02:19.47 abide in Your light. 00:02:19.50\00:02:21.40 And we pray that as we do, as you teach us how to abide 00:02:21.47\00:02:26.57 in Jesus, that there would be no cause, no occasion for anyone 00:02:26.61\00:02:32.55 else to stumble because of us. 00:02:32.58\00:02:34.82 We pray right now, Lord, on this sensitive topic, 00:02:34.85\00:02:38.52 that You would especially give me Your words. 00:02:38.55\00:02:42.09 And I pray that we would be open to hearing 00:02:42.12\00:02:45.63 what's in Your Word. 00:02:45.66\00:02:47.00 And we thank You in the precious and holy name of Jesus, Amen. 00:02:47.03\00:02:51.60 There was a woman that, I'll call her Jane, 00:02:51.63\00:02:57.97 that's not her real name. 00:02:58.01\00:02:59.44 And if you are a Jane, this story does not apply to you. 00:02:59.47\00:03:03.45 I'll call her Jane. 00:03:03.48\00:03:05.25 I did not know her well, but I knew the man 00:03:05.28\00:03:09.18 in the story pretty well. 00:03:09.22\00:03:10.59 She was... ah, started going to church. 00:03:10.62\00:03:15.32 And she became infatuated, is the best word I know how to 00:03:15.36\00:03:19.26 describe it, with a certain man in the church; 00:03:19.29\00:03:21.90 the man that I knew. 00:03:21.93\00:03:23.26 And she was maybe 25 years younger than him, 00:03:23.30\00:03:28.50 and she lured him. 00:03:28.54\00:03:30.81 I don't know any other way how to put it except to say 00:03:30.84\00:03:34.51 that she lured him. 00:03:34.54\00:03:36.24 She used her charm, her charisma, her body, 00:03:36.28\00:03:41.18 any way that she could to get him. 00:03:41.22\00:03:44.75 Now this man had some money, and this is just my opinion, 00:03:44.79\00:03:49.06 I think she knew that. 00:03:49.09\00:03:50.79 And so she lured him, she got him. 00:03:50.83\00:03:55.43 And then you know what happened? she married him. 00:03:55.46\00:03:59.07 And it seemed like in the beginning of their marriage they 00:03:59.10\00:04:02.47 were fairly happy, but pretty soon she started using him, 00:04:02.50\00:04:07.44 and she used his money. 00:04:07.48\00:04:09.34 She used the land he had, and he had to sell it off. 00:04:09.38\00:04:12.95 She got him to sign the house over into her name. 00:04:12.98\00:04:16.48 She went through everything that he had. 00:04:16.52\00:04:21.52 Once she had used him, she kind of spit him out, 00:04:21.56\00:04:24.46 and divorced him. They were probably married for ten years. 00:04:24.49\00:04:30.17 And he recently passed away. 00:04:30.20\00:04:31.93 And now she gets his Social Security. 00:04:31.97\00:04:35.70 Even though they're divorced, in the state that they happen 00:04:35.74\00:04:39.54 to live in, after they were married ten years 00:04:39.57\00:04:41.61 she gets his Social Security. 00:04:41.64\00:04:43.55 Now to me that's kind of an extreme example of a woman 00:04:43.58\00:04:46.98 who uses her body, her charms, to reach out and to manipulate 00:04:47.02\00:04:52.65 somebody else, and in this case it was a man, to achieve her own 00:04:52.69\00:04:58.29 hearts desire to get what she wanted. 00:04:58.33\00:05:00.60 Today we're talking, the third danger that we're discussing 00:05:00.63\00:05:03.43 today, is the forward heart. 00:05:03.47\00:05:06.63 I think there's three ways that you and I can be careful, 00:05:06.70\00:05:11.47 can learn to guard, and to make sure we're not being forward. 00:05:11.51\00:05:16.24 And the first is in how we dress. 00:05:16.28\00:05:19.31 My Mom and Dad were coming home from work. 00:05:19.35\00:05:22.68 And they work together, and so they did. 00:05:22.72\00:05:26.05 They don't anymore, but they used to. 00:05:26.09\00:05:27.79 And my Dad had his business, and my Mom 00:05:27.82\00:05:30.26 worked in the business. 00:05:30.29\00:05:31.63 And driving home on the Interstate... 00:05:31.66\00:05:33.56 They live in Massachusetts. 00:05:33.60\00:05:35.70 ...there's a very high bridge. 00:05:35.73\00:05:37.80 The bridge is high. 00:05:37.83\00:05:39.17 There's a deep gorge underneath. 00:05:39.20\00:05:40.90 And there's a river underneath. 00:05:40.94\00:05:42.67 As they were driving home there was a tremendous thunder storm. 00:05:42.70\00:05:46.94 My Mom, telling me the story,... 00:05:46.98\00:05:48.94 This happened years ago. 00:05:48.98\00:05:50.31 But telling me this story, she said the rain was 00:05:50.35\00:05:52.91 coming down in sheets. 00:05:52.95\00:05:54.55 The windshield wipers, you know, they're on high. 00:05:54.58\00:05:56.75 You can hardly see. 00:05:56.79\00:05:58.29 And the lightening and the thunder was really close. 00:05:58.35\00:06:01.06 Just as they got on the highway to that bridge... 00:06:01.09\00:06:05.79 Remember it was high over the gorge? 00:06:05.83\00:06:08.53 All of a sudden my Mom said there was a white light, 00:06:08.56\00:06:12.33 like bright, like, I would say like lightening, 00:06:12.37\00:06:15.70 but that's what it was. 00:06:15.77\00:06:17.11 But there was a white light. 00:06:17.14\00:06:18.47 She said it just filled, like the whole car, flooded them. 00:06:18.51\00:06:22.18 And at the same time she saw the light, she said there was 00:06:22.21\00:06:25.91 the most terrible clap of thunder. 00:06:25.95\00:06:28.58 And then all of a sudden their car quit, and my Dad had to 00:06:28.62\00:06:33.79 struggle to get it steered to the side of the road. 00:06:33.82\00:06:38.33 You know what had happened? 00:06:38.36\00:06:40.06 Their car had been struck by lightening. 00:06:40.10\00:06:43.06 She said, Obviously the car, they were 00:06:43.10\00:06:45.53 protected in the metal; it went around. 00:06:45.57\00:06:47.90 The lightening blew out all four of the tires. 00:06:47.94\00:06:51.34 It came out the four rubber tires, and it fried completely 00:06:51.37\00:06:55.61 the electrical system of the car. 00:06:55.64\00:06:58.01 In fact, they never drove that car again. 00:06:58.05\00:07:00.58 It had to be towed, and they never used that car again. 00:07:00.62\00:07:04.52 Now my Dad is dressed for work. 00:07:04.55\00:07:06.15 He's in a white shirt, a tie and slacks, no suit coat, 00:07:06.19\00:07:11.59 but he was dressed up well. 00:07:11.63\00:07:12.99 And he thought, It's pouring down the rain outside, 00:07:13.03\00:07:15.93 I do not want to go outside and get covered in this. 00:07:15.96\00:07:20.70 So he took his tie off to protect it. 00:07:20.74\00:07:22.50 He put on his old coveralls. 00:07:22.57\00:07:25.54 He had them there in the back seat for some work 00:07:25.57\00:07:27.94 on the car, or something. 00:07:27.98\00:07:29.31 So he pulled on the coveralls over his other clothes, 00:07:29.34\00:07:32.58 and he stepped outside to try to flag down a passing 00:07:32.61\00:07:36.75 motorist to get help. 00:07:36.79\00:07:38.12 Now remember I said this happened years ago. 00:07:38.15\00:07:40.56 They didn't have a cell phone at that time. 00:07:40.59\00:07:42.92 So my Mom said my Dad's standing there in the rain, 00:07:42.96\00:07:47.00 in is old dirty coveralls, and car after car 00:07:47.03\00:07:53.80 passed without stopping. 00:07:53.84\00:07:55.37 So then he thought, maybe I don't look very safe. 00:07:55.40\00:07:58.84 I'm in these old dirty coveralls. 00:07:58.87\00:08:01.51 So what he did, he went in the car, he took off those old dirty 00:08:01.54\00:08:05.41 coveralls, and then he stepped back outside 00:08:05.48\00:08:09.52 in the pouring rain. 00:08:09.55\00:08:10.89 This time he's in the slacks that he had had 00:08:10.92\00:08:13.89 on underneath, and the shirt. 00:08:13.96\00:08:15.56 He said that car after car, nobody stopped. 00:08:15.59\00:08:22.76 In desperation he went in the car, he got his tie, 00:08:22.83\00:08:28.34 he put it on and knotted it, and stepped outside 00:08:28.37\00:08:33.88 again into the rain. 00:08:33.91\00:08:35.38 You know what happened? 00:08:35.41\00:08:36.85 The first two cars that passed, they stopped. 00:08:36.88\00:08:40.95 The first two cars stopped. 00:08:40.98\00:08:43.25 Now every time my Mom and Dad, you know when we relive this 00:08:43.28\00:08:47.16 story, I'm thankful, first of all, that God protected them 00:08:47.19\00:08:51.03 in the midst of that lightening storm. 00:08:51.06\00:08:52.69 And that's a good thing. 00:08:52.73\00:08:54.10 But every time we hear that story, we actually kind of 00:08:54.16\00:08:57.07 laugh, because it's kind of funny to think about my Dad 00:08:57.10\00:08:59.67 and those old coveralls, and then getting rid of them, 00:08:59.70\00:09:02.24 and going in and putting on a tie. 00:09:02.27\00:09:04.81 But you know what it shows? that how we dress is important. 00:09:04.84\00:09:09.58 I'm not talking at all about dress clothes, 00:09:09.61\00:09:12.25 wearing jackets, or wearing jeans. 00:09:12.28\00:09:14.35 That's not what we're talking about here. 00:09:14.38\00:09:16.38 We're not talking about dressy versus casual. 00:09:16.45\00:09:18.39 I know that dress, how we dress, is a touchy subject. 00:09:18.42\00:09:24.49 I'm well aware of the common thought, 00:09:24.53\00:09:27.76 thinking, thought process. 00:09:27.80\00:09:29.93 If my brother is struggling with something I'm wearing, 00:09:29.96\00:09:33.23 that's his fault; that's not mine. 00:09:33.27\00:09:36.47 You know Romans 8:1, Romans 8:1 says, There is therefore now 00:09:36.50\00:09:42.38 no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. 00:09:42.41\00:09:46.68 If we stop right there, then that thinking would be accurate. 00:09:46.72\00:09:51.32 We could say, I'm in Jesus. 00:09:51.35\00:09:53.72 It doesn't matter. 00:09:53.76\00:09:55.09 I can wear what I want, and I can say what I want, 00:09:55.12\00:09:57.56 I can do what I want. 00:09:57.59\00:09:59.13 None of that matters. 00:09:59.16\00:10:00.63 But if you read the rest of the verse, Yes, it begins by saying, 00:10:00.66\00:10:06.00 There's no condemnation now to those who are in Christ Jesus. 00:10:06.03\00:10:09.34 But do you know what it says after that? 00:10:09.37\00:10:11.61 For those who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 00:10:11.67\00:10:17.31 I believe, Yes, God holds men accountable for their thoughts, 00:10:17.35\00:10:22.95 for their own issue with lust. 00:10:22.98\00:10:25.39 Absolutely! We're all accountable before God. 00:10:25.42\00:10:28.49 I believe that. But I believe as women we can 00:10:28.52\00:10:31.59 also be accountable. 00:10:31.63\00:10:34.50 We can also do our job to be responsible in this area. 00:10:34.53\00:10:38.83 I think God wants us to turn our hearts, our faces toward Him 00:10:38.87\00:10:45.41 so much that we receive from Him our identity. 00:10:45.44\00:10:51.01 Who am I? Who am I in Christ? 00:10:51.05\00:10:54.12 Is who am I identified by what the TV or 00:10:54.15\00:10:58.32 movies say I should be? the way my body ought to look? 00:10:58.35\00:11:03.22 the amount of skin I ought to show in order to be sexy 00:11:03.26\00:11:07.36 in the world's eyes? 00:11:07.40\00:11:08.73 Is that who I am? or who I am is really who am I in Jesus? 00:11:08.76\00:11:15.14 My worth, my self identity comes from Jesus. 00:11:15.17\00:11:19.21 And when He looks at you and me, He says, I love you! 00:11:19.27\00:11:21.98 You're beautiful! I made you! 00:11:22.01\00:11:26.35 I have a special garden, and a special hedge about you. 00:11:26.41\00:11:30.52 We get our identity, we get our worth, 00:11:30.59\00:11:32.89 we get our value from God alone. 00:11:32.92\00:11:35.66 Now I've been blessed with a husband, Greg, that chooses to 00:11:35.69\00:11:40.06 honor God with his eyes. 00:11:40.10\00:11:42.66 That's a rare commitment in today's world. 00:11:42.70\00:11:46.00 And how much I appreciate my husband's commitment. 00:11:46.03\00:11:50.87 Turn with me to Philippians 2. 00:11:50.91\00:11:53.17 If you don't have your Bible open, just jump over, 00:11:53.24\00:11:57.81 jot it down, and you can look it up later. 00:11:57.88\00:12:01.55 Paul speaking. 00:12:01.58\00:12:08.89 He says, Fulfill my joy by being like minded, having the same 00:12:08.92\00:12:14.66 love, being of one accord, of one mind. 00:12:14.70\00:12:18.47 That's verse 2. Then we have verse 3. 00:12:18.50\00:12:22.17 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit; 00:12:22.20\00:12:26.17 but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other people 00:12:26.21\00:12:30.11 as better than ourselves. 00:12:30.15\00:12:34.22 What's that saying? 00:12:34.25\00:12:35.82 If I truly esteem someone else as better than myself, 00:12:35.85\00:12:40.29 then I'm going to care how my clothing choices effect 00:12:40.32\00:12:44.69 my brother's commitment to his wife, or effect my brother's 00:12:44.73\00:12:48.46 commitment to his future wife. 00:12:48.53\00:12:51.07 Now you might be saying, Jill, what am I to wear? 00:12:51.10\00:12:53.17 Only God can tell you that. 00:12:53.20\00:12:54.80 We are not getting into any discussion of that. 00:12:54.84\00:12:58.07 Because if we do that, I think that's judgment. 00:12:58.11\00:13:01.28 I think, Go to God, and in the quietness of your heart, 00:13:01.31\00:13:05.38 and just say, Is what I'm wearing pleasing to You, God? 00:13:05.41\00:13:09.42 Is what I'm wearing esteeming my brother? 00:13:09.48\00:13:12.62 If it is, wonderful! 00:13:12.65\00:13:15.29 If it's not, then be open to what God wants to tell you. 00:13:15.32\00:13:19.66 Only God can tell us how to dress. 00:13:19.69\00:13:21.76 You could have a dress up party. 00:13:21.80\00:13:23.80 You can invite your girlfriends, or ask your husband. 00:13:23.83\00:13:26.53 I do that with Greg. 00:13:26.57\00:13:27.90 What about this? And he'll say, Oh, I love that, Jilly. 00:13:27.94\00:13:30.27 And I'll say, That's not too, whatever? 00:13:30.31\00:13:32.07 Oh no, that's great. 00:13:32.11\00:13:33.44 Or he'll say, You know, I have a little caution 00:13:33.48\00:13:35.98 in my heart about that. Maybe don't. 00:13:36.01\00:13:38.61 And so I want to honor my husband 00:13:38.65\00:13:41.18 in addition to that as well. 00:13:41.22\00:13:42.78 First, how we dress. 00:13:42.82\00:13:44.85 Second way, we need to guard the forward 00:13:44.89\00:13:47.56 heart, is how we act. 00:13:47.59\00:13:49.56 Flirting is fun, and just being honest with you, 00:13:49.59\00:13:53.90 I've done way more than my share of it in my youthful days. 00:13:53.93\00:13:56.83 It's kind of how we laugh, and how we talk, and the twinkle 00:13:56.87\00:14:00.87 in the eye, and all of that type of stuff. 00:14:00.90\00:14:03.61 Mrs. Potiphar, Potiphar's wife, we talked about her 00:14:03.64\00:14:07.64 in the last program. 00:14:07.71\00:14:09.38 She's the one who seduced Joseph; tried to seduce. 00:14:09.41\00:14:14.22 We want to clarify that because initially Joseph said no, 00:14:14.25\00:14:18.05 and he was thrown in prison for his commitment to honoring God. 00:14:18.09\00:14:21.72 Mrs. Potiphar did more than flirt. 00:14:21.76\00:14:23.83 If you're familiar with the story, 00:14:23.86\00:14:25.56 you know she did more than that. 00:14:25.59\00:14:27.20 She came straight out and asked Joseph for sex. 00:14:27.23\00:14:31.40 She didn't try to be coy about it, or do this and that. 00:14:31.43\00:14:34.97 The Bible says in Genesis 39 she just said, Lie with me. 00:14:35.00\00:14:38.51 She just came straight out and asked. 00:14:38.57\00:14:40.91 Our society today, as women, it seems like we're free to be 00:14:40.94\00:14:46.18 liberated, free to be crass, and bold, and uninhibited. 00:14:46.21\00:14:51.42 It's so different from the calling God has on our 00:14:51.45\00:14:57.19 hearts, and on our lives. 00:14:57.23\00:14:59.09 We see that calling in 1 Peter 3:4, 1 Peter 3:4. 00:14:59.13\00:15:07.47 Now this is a whole section about Paul's council to wives, 00:15:07.54\00:15:12.27 and then he talks about council to husbands. 00:15:12.31\00:15:14.54 So there's plenty of council to husbands, but right now we're 00:15:14.58\00:15:18.38 just discussing women, because this is a woman's program. 00:15:18.41\00:15:21.42 He says, Don't let your adornment be from the outside. 00:15:24.85\00:15:29.82 Then he says, Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, 00:15:29.86\00:15:34.80 with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit. 00:15:34.83\00:15:39.73 I think, as woman, when we come before God and realize, 00:15:39.77\00:15:45.34 Who am I in Christ? 00:15:45.37\00:15:46.71 In Christ I am forgiven. 00:15:46.74\00:15:48.88 In Christ I am cleansed. 00:15:48.91\00:15:51.61 In Christ I am made new. 00:15:51.65\00:15:54.28 If anyone is in Christ, the old things have passed away, 00:15:54.32\00:15:58.75 behold all things have become new. 00:15:58.79\00:16:02.32 In Christ I don't have to hang on to any of that 00:16:02.36\00:16:04.99 junk from the past, because I am a new creation in Jesus. 00:16:05.06\00:16:09.46 In Christ I am loved. 00:16:09.50\00:16:12.47 In Christ I am wanted. 00:16:12.50\00:16:15.40 In Christ I am safe. 00:16:15.44\00:16:18.57 In Christ I am pure. 00:16:18.61\00:16:21.71 That's who you are in Jesus Christ. 00:16:21.74\00:16:24.61 Don't take any of this stuff and feel like we have to act, 00:16:24.65\00:16:27.85 or be, or dress a certain way in order to achieve approval. 00:16:27.88\00:16:33.86 We get that straight from the Father above. 00:16:33.89\00:16:38.16 3. How we talk. We talked about how we dress, then how we act, 00:16:38.19\00:16:45.50 what about how we talk? 00:16:45.53\00:16:48.07 Be careful with over sharing. 00:16:48.10\00:16:51.21 Too much openness in discussions in sharing with someone 00:16:51.24\00:16:55.74 of the opposite sex creates intimacy 00:16:55.81\00:16:58.78 where it doesn't belong. 00:16:58.81\00:17:00.55 Now vulnerability is a beautiful thing, if it's to my Father 00:17:00.58\00:17:04.35 in heaven, if it's to your spouse. 00:17:04.42\00:17:06.62 Vulnerability is wonderful. 00:17:06.65\00:17:08.29 Vulnerability is even good with some trusted Godly girlfriends, 00:17:08.32\00:17:12.43 or those accountability partners that we talked with. 00:17:12.46\00:17:15.23 However, with a man, that can be dangerous. 00:17:15.26\00:17:19.20 Learn to share with your husband, 00:17:19.23\00:17:23.20 or a trusted girlfriend, or a family member, 00:17:23.24\00:17:26.37 not your co-worker or the nice man you just met at church. 00:17:26.41\00:17:32.18 My girlfriend is really learning how to model 00:17:32.21\00:17:37.72 this, how to do this. 00:17:37.75\00:17:40.02 She grew up in a home where boundaries were not modeled. 00:17:40.06\00:17:45.26 And perhaps you experience this yourself. 00:17:45.29\00:17:50.40 Maybe you grew up in a home where the boundaries 00:17:50.43\00:17:53.03 were constantly violated. 00:17:53.07\00:17:55.07 They could have been violated physically, and you were abused 00:17:55.10\00:17:59.47 in some way through no choice of your own. 00:17:59.51\00:18:01.71 It was pushed upon you. 00:18:01.74\00:18:03.08 Maybe they weren't violated physically, 00:18:03.11\00:18:05.38 but they were violated emotionally, or verbally. 00:18:05.41\00:18:10.02 Maybe you didn't realize you had a choice, 00:18:10.05\00:18:12.85 and you could actually say no. 00:18:12.89\00:18:16.02 Maybe that was trained in you since childhood. 00:18:16.06\00:18:19.89 In my girlfriend's case, she grew up in a home with some 00:18:19.93\00:18:23.73 dysfunction, some pain, and so she never saw 00:18:23.77\00:18:30.27 boundaries being modeled. 00:18:30.31\00:18:32.94 She never saw them lived out, so for her it was hard to know, 00:18:32.97\00:18:37.78 What does this look like? 00:18:37.81\00:18:39.15 What am I supposed to do with this? 00:18:39.18\00:18:41.88 But now, as an adult, she's learning how to share, 00:18:41.92\00:18:48.19 what to share, how much to share, and probably the most 00:18:48.22\00:18:53.63 important, with whom to share. 00:18:53.66\00:18:56.00 That's key. It's important to learn boundaries. 00:18:56.03\00:18:59.73 And you might be saying, I don't think I have any boundaries. 00:18:59.77\00:19:02.57 I didn't even know how to get boundaries in my life. 00:19:02.60\00:19:05.94 I don't know how to put... 00:19:05.97\00:19:07.31 I don't even know what that looks like. 00:19:07.34\00:19:09.88 There's a fabulous book. 00:19:09.91\00:19:11.71 I like it. It's called Boundaries. 00:19:11.78\00:19:13.42 That's a good book. 00:19:13.45\00:19:14.78 You could get that. 00:19:14.82\00:19:16.15 But I think we can go to God, we can learn in community 00:19:16.18\00:19:19.62 as sisters, learning how to establish boundaries. 00:19:19.65\00:19:23.16 What boundaries are even supposed to look like. 00:19:23.22\00:19:26.56 Get in a mentorship with an older Godly woman, 00:19:26.59\00:19:29.86 or even a younger Godly woman who's Godly. That's the key. 00:19:29.90\00:19:33.87 And learn what boundaries are supposed to look like. 00:19:33.90\00:19:37.21 See the boundaries as they are modeled. 00:19:37.24\00:19:40.28 And my girlfriend is learning what's appropriate to say, 00:19:40.31\00:19:42.81 what's not appropriate to say, who to say it to, 00:19:42.84\00:19:46.58 and who not to say it to, and what to do with this 00:19:46.61\00:19:50.35 issue of over sharing. 00:19:50.39\00:19:53.12 When you share remember to share it with your husband, 00:19:53.15\00:19:56.56 with the trusted girlfriend, with a family member. 00:19:56.59\00:20:00.36 Not over sharing with someone of the opposite sex. 00:20:00.40\00:20:04.10 And go to God and ask Him to show you, 00:20:04.13\00:20:07.27 Who am I over sharing with, and what am I 00:20:07.34\00:20:10.41 over sharing about? 00:20:10.47\00:20:12.14 In addition, as well as over sharing, it's important also to 00:20:12.17\00:20:16.81 think about the content. 00:20:16.85\00:20:18.18 What are you actually talking about? 00:20:18.21\00:20:20.92 Or not even what you are talking about, 00:20:20.95\00:20:23.69 but what are you listening to? 00:20:23.72\00:20:25.95 I know in my own life this can be a battle for me, 00:20:25.99\00:20:28.62 because I might say, Well, I'm not going to say that, 00:20:28.66\00:20:31.23 but you know what I do? 00:20:31.26\00:20:32.76 I sit and listen to it. 00:20:32.79\00:20:34.23 I sit and hear it. 00:20:34.30\00:20:37.03 And sometimes, probably more often than I should, 00:20:37.07\00:20:42.74 I just, okay, I take it in. 00:20:42.77\00:20:46.27 I don't say anything. 00:20:46.31\00:20:47.64 I think, Well, if I am a good Christian I probably shouldn't 00:20:47.68\00:20:51.48 rock the boat, and I'll just sit here and listen to it. 00:20:51.51\00:20:54.78 But what if God says, No, I want you to stand up. 00:20:54.82\00:21:00.06 And that's something that, in my own life, I'm trying to learn. 00:21:00.09\00:21:04.26 When to say, Okay, that boundary is being crossed. 00:21:04.29\00:21:06.90 Maybe not with anything they're doing, but with something 00:21:06.93\00:21:09.56 they're telling me, or something they're sharing, 00:21:09.60\00:21:11.40 or something maybe sexual. 00:21:11.43\00:21:13.00 And say, No, you're not my husband. 00:21:13.03\00:21:15.17 I shouldn't be hearing about that. 00:21:15.20\00:21:17.37 I shouldn't be listening to that. 00:21:17.41\00:21:20.04 It's an important thing to learn. 00:21:20.08\00:21:22.51 I think as a society we're open. 00:21:22.54\00:21:27.38 Today's society, women and men are just free to be bold, 00:21:27.42\00:21:31.19 and crass, and uninhibited. 00:21:31.22\00:21:33.46 To me that's the key, uninhibited. 00:21:33.49\00:21:35.42 The Bible tells us in Matthew, remember when the disciples 00:21:35.46\00:21:38.86 were talking about what are the signs of the end of the world, 00:21:38.89\00:21:42.30 and what are the signs of Jesus' coming? 00:21:42.33\00:21:43.90 Remember one of those signs? 00:21:43.93\00:21:45.53 What was one of those signs? 00:21:45.57\00:21:47.10 He said, It's going to be men eating and drinking, 00:21:47.14\00:21:50.61 marrying and giving in marriage, and all of that stuff, 00:21:50.64\00:21:53.24 just like the licentiousness and the sin that existed 00:21:53.27\00:21:57.91 in this world at the time of the flood, at the time when Noah, 00:21:57.95\00:22:02.52 God had Noah build the ark. 00:22:02.55\00:22:04.29 It's interesting because now we see that again here at the end 00:22:04.32\00:22:09.59 of time, here right before Jesus is going to come, 00:22:09.62\00:22:13.19 we see that again. 00:22:13.23\00:22:15.00 You see sexual immorality on the rise. 00:22:15.06\00:22:19.00 We see homosexuality on the rise, or maybe not even 00:22:19.03\00:22:23.81 on the rise, but it is more prevalent. 00:22:23.84\00:22:26.37 It is definitely more accepted. 00:22:26.41\00:22:30.01 We see things that 50, 20, 10, 5 years ago 00:22:30.05\00:22:37.52 would not be accepted, would not be tolerated. 00:22:37.55\00:22:41.22 Things about how we dress. 00:22:41.26\00:22:43.32 I remember I was in Wal-Mart and there was someone at the 00:22:43.36\00:22:48.16 checkout counter, not the clerk behind the counter, 00:22:48.20\00:22:50.73 but it was a girl checking out. 00:22:50.77\00:22:52.50 And I've never, being honest, in my entire life 00:22:52.53\00:22:57.61 seen shorts that short. 00:22:57.64\00:22:59.64 Now I've seen short shorts. 00:22:59.67\00:23:01.61 I've seen a lot of short shorts. 00:23:01.64\00:23:03.04 But these she had cut to make them shorter than you can 00:23:03.08\00:23:05.68 actually make them in the store. 00:23:05.71\00:23:07.08 It was incredible! 00:23:07.12\00:23:08.55 I have never seen that in my whole life. 00:23:08.58\00:23:10.69 And I thought, she was beautiful, she was beautiful. 00:23:10.72\00:23:16.86 And I thought, Oh, look at, you know, look at whatever lies 00:23:16.89\00:23:24.23 Satan has in her heart, and in her life. 00:23:24.27\00:23:27.64 Maybe it's not even a lie. 00:23:27.67\00:23:29.90 Maybe it's just thinking, I want to be socially accepted. 00:23:29.94\00:23:33.61 Society does it. Everybody does it. 00:23:33.64\00:23:36.81 So therefore I should do it, too. 00:23:36.85\00:23:39.48 Because I want people to like me. 00:23:39.51\00:23:42.08 I want to be popular. I want to fit in. 00:23:42.12\00:23:45.89 Wherever you are in your walk with Jesus today, 00:23:45.92\00:23:50.33 God says, I want to purify you. 00:23:50.36\00:23:54.30 I want to work in your heart, in the forward heart. 00:23:54.33\00:23:59.77 I want to go through your closet. 00:23:59.80\00:24:02.00 I want to look at the stuff that you wear and say, 00:24:02.07\00:24:05.51 Okay, what is pleasing to God? 00:24:05.54\00:24:07.14 And then maybe, is there an outfit or two that 00:24:07.18\00:24:10.21 I should maybe get rid of? 00:24:10.25\00:24:12.65 Only God can tell you that. 00:24:12.68\00:24:15.02 We're not here to say, Do this, do that. 00:24:15.05\00:24:17.99 Only God can tell you that. 00:24:18.02\00:24:20.92 Look, go to God. How do I act? 00:24:20.96\00:24:23.83 How do I talk? Is there anything in my life that's 00:24:23.86\00:24:28.43 misrepresenting the character of Jesus? 00:24:28.46\00:24:32.20 Whatever it is, He wants to show us. 00:24:32.23\00:24:35.94 And in addition, He wants to change us. 00:24:35.97\00:24:39.67 I love that about our God. 00:24:39.71\00:24:41.98 We're going to take a short break right now. 00:24:42.04\00:24:44.25 We're going to do our practical application for this week. 00:24:44.28\00:24:48.05 And then our next program we'll be discussing the issue 00:24:48.08\00:24:53.62 of a boastful heart, or pride. 00:24:53.66\00:24:55.82 We'll be right back. 00:24:55.86\00:24:57.19