The following
program presents principles
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designed to promote good health
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and is not intended
to take the place of
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personalized
professional care. The opinions
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and ideas expressed
are those of the speaker.
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Viewers are
encouraged to draw their own
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conclusions about the
information presented.
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Hello and welcome to
'Health For A Lifetime'.
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I'm your host Don Mackintosh
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and today we are
delighted to have
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Vicki Griffin with us.
She is the Director for
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the Health Department.
Her Lifestyle Matters
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in Michigan Conference
of Seventh-Day Adventist
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and she has the staff
that works with her to
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put together all
kinds of different materials
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to help people
with their nutritional,
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their health needs and
we're glad you are with
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us today Vicki. Thank
you. Now you give a lot
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of speeches, you
give a lot of talks,
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you go to lot of
groups, you motivate people
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and you share
things from a context of a
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personal testimony.
Right. You know you were always
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doing this; you
started out kind of an
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interesting
background. That is correct,
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and that's probably
why I'm so interested
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in these kinds of
topics because I know
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what they do for me personally.
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You were, you told
me before you struggled
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with Bulimia, you
struggled with the
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eating disorder for many years.
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Twenty years
from age 11 to age 31
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and I was a runway
and involved in all kinds
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of aberrant
behavior and attitudes.
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But the Lord gave you victory?
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He did. And you
know that the things can
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change for people? I
know that they can change.
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So, what we wanna
talk about today is how
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to set and then
sustain your most important
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goals, how to
set goals? I mean you
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didn't have any
goals. You didn't have a
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father or mother
sitting there saying
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this is what you need
to do and why not in the
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regular sense and
so some how that happen
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and you have seven
steps that you share
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in different venues
whether it's graduations
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from health
programs or different things.
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You want to share
those seven steps that are,
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I guess really
tell your story too.
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Well in a way they do,
but I just really resonate
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with people that
have trouble maintaining
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their goals.
People struggle, 54% of
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Americans at any
given moment are on a diet,
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but how well do
those diet stick.
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Not they were a
proponent of dieting
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per se, but people
make goals all of the,
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they set goals all of the time.
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They have trouble
sustaining the most
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important goals for
their life, so we have gone
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in and we have taken a
look over several years
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to find out what
are the factors involve,
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the principles. The
principles of long term
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success for staying
with a journey thick or
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thin to achieve your
most important goals.
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Okay so let's take a
look at some of those.
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The first one you talk
about is to Stay Focused.
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Talk to us about that.
How do you stay focused?
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Right. How do you say
your goal stay focused?
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Why we have chosen
this as number one.
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One of the reasons
that we have chosen this
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topic as one of
the primary things to
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think about is that
when a person develops
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an addiction or bad
habit or bad pattern.
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They actually lose
the, their ability to focus
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on different things
and so they become overly
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focused on that, the
bad thing they are doing,
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on that one
destructive thing and they lose
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the ability to, to be
engaged in other kinds of
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mental and
physical processes and so
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everything
deteriorates in the life and so
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learning how to
focus on a positive goal
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and staying with
that goal helps to prevent
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relapse, it helps to
build structurally into the
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life and into the
character those elements
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that are going to
guarantee long term
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success, so focus is
a very important thing.
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So, how do you do that though?
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I mean you talk about
staying focused to say,
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it's easy to say to
someone to stay focus,
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right, but how do
you develop focus?
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Well there was a
study done with Harvard
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Business Millionaires
those who graduate from
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Harvard Business School
that became millionaires.
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Those that became millionaires
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had written down their
short and long term goals.
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They knew where they were going
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and they knew the
steps as to how they were
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going to get there.
And when they do that,
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what age? They did
it, when they enter school
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they had a goal,
they had a priority,
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they set it. They
did not let the daily
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distractions of
life take them away
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and help them, keep
them from losing sight
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of those larger
goals. So the way to stay
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focused is to look
at the, into the eye
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or look into the
row to keep the eye on
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whatever it is and just
not let the other things
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get in the way. You
want to get up in the trees
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and look at the
big picture and that's
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something is very, very
difficult for some of us
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to do. Some people
that are, that are emotion
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based, they are so, they
sort of look at situations
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and react. Some
writers talk about
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response ability. So
we have the ability to
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respond to our
daily situations, but
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we can never let
the daily vicissitudes,
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ups and downs of
life detour us from the
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larger goals that
we have, the priorities
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that we have set in
life. Whatever the priority
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is that, that is
very, very important.
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So it's like the, the
old story about the rabbit
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and the tortoise.
You know that were racing
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and the tortoise
just kept going straight
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to the things
slowly, but surely.
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There is an Irish
saying that if you go slower
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you will get there
faster and that is really true.
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When you
appreciate what your larger
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goals are, then every
activity that you engage
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in during the day is
it becomes an achievement
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rather than just
something that you do.
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And so everything
that you do in your life
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is going to
promote that larger goal.
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Setting a realistic
expectations you talked
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about the, this
is the second one.
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First one stay
focused, set realistic
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expectations.
Right. Some people,
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I know these
Harvard millionaires is this
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realistic to set the
goal I, well one thing
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that, that I would
like to, I think I wanna be
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a millionaire. Right
well one thing I wanna
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backup just a
moment we have a couple of
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examples in the
Bible that are really
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important. It says that
Jesus set his face stead
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fastly toward
Jerusalem. He was going to
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the Cross. He was
going into a challenge.
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Daniel purposed in
his heart not to defile
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himself with the,
with the delicacies of the
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King's table. That's
right and it actually means
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he gave his heart to
it. Now both of these men
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were facing very
negative situations
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they were facing
challenges and what,
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when we lose our
focus we are trying to
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avert pain, we are
trying to find an easier
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path, we are trying
to find some shortcut
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and there is no
shortcut. We have got to
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understand that
the process of working
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through obstacles
and meeting challenges
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and meeting pain
and dealing with stress
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and all of those
things is part of the building
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block to meeting
your larger goals.
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We cannot escape the
fact that there are challenges
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and obstacles. If it, if
it will. If it wasn't hard
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it wouldn't be
worth working toward.
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Okay that's part of
staying focused then
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what about
realistic expectations?
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Well the key to
staying motivated
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and this is where
people just fall off of their,
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their lifestyle
plans. They fall off of their
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goals to read
more books or to turn
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the TV off. Part
of staying motivated
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is setting
realistic expectations.
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I have people come to
my office and they say
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you know I, I
realize that I need to lose
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a 150 pounds, so
from here on now from this
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day forward I'm only
gonna have a half a cup
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of oat milk for
breakfast and six peeled grapes.
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I'm gonna walk 10
miles a day and this,
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if you take into
consideration their
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past history and
where they are right now.
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This is a very
unrealistic expectation
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they are not likely to
be able to follow through
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with that, so it's
extremely important
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to make your goals
to, to code them off
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in little bite
size pieces, so that
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you can
experience daily victories.
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And, so
realistic expectation, yes
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achieving a small
goal, achieving a small goal
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is much more
valuable than brooding over
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impossible dreams.
Okay. So that's an important
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thing, so for
instance, if you know that
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you have a
particular problem with your,
00:08:14.69\00:08:17.05
with being impatient
or with sweets or whatever
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that particular
problems is. You set a
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realistic goal that
you are going to achieve,
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in other words you,
you are striving for
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excellence not
absolute perfection in this area
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because you will
become disappointed.
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So what you are
doing is you are striving
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for continually
making better choices,
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so that you are
actually building your brain
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in the process and
your brain is developing
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resiliency, it's
developing new tools,
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new resources for
handling challenges and
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change in bite size
pieces. You have heard
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this saying, it's,
it's hard by the yard,
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it's a trial by the
mile. Hard by the yard,
00:08:53.62\00:08:56.12
cinch by the inch
and sweeter by the
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millimeter, okay, and
so. So setting a realistic
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expectation of
what you can and cannot
00:09:03.38\00:09:05.17
accomplish is
very very important
00:09:05.20\00:09:08.01
element of long term success.
00:09:08.04\00:09:09.60
Okay so number
one was stay focus,
00:09:10.08\00:09:11.74
number two set
realistic expectations
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and then our third one
was to expect challenges.
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Expect challenges. Or
expect, right, challenges
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okay yeah I mean
this is pretty logical.
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You are not gonna just behind
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something on the silver platter.
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But people that,
people that want to do well.
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It's so easy to
just want everything
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to be perfect and mistake free
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and perfectly polished
and it's so easy to get
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discouraged, when
it doesn't turnout
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just exactly the
way you want. When you,
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when you haven't
handled yourself in that
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board meeting
exactly the way that you know
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that you are.
When haven't taken the,
00:09:48.20\00:09:50.36
the steps with your
lifestyle that you know
00:09:50.81\00:09:53.72
that you opt it. It
can actually eclipse
00:09:53.75\00:09:56.57
improvements that you are making
00:09:56.60\00:09:58.46
and so remember
with Thomas Edison,
00:09:58.49\00:10:00.90
he learned a
thousand ways in order to make
00:10:00.93\00:10:02.58
a light bulb. So it's
very important if you make
00:10:02.61\00:10:05.39
a mistake not to
give up, but to get up.
00:10:05.42\00:10:08.27
That's so very
very important turn
00:10:09.22\00:10:11.58
your mistakes into victories.
00:10:11.61\00:10:13.58
Now you are the
mother of two, yes,
00:10:13.61\00:10:15.34
and you know
probably have tried to help
00:10:15.37\00:10:18.09
them stay focused as
well as set realistic goals
00:10:18.12\00:10:21.74
and you know given
them little tasks, right,
00:10:22.12\00:10:24.98
to do that had
challenges. What kind of things
00:10:25.01\00:10:26.90
that you have your
kids do they were learning
00:10:26.93\00:10:28.51
these kinds of lessons
as they were growing up?
00:10:28.54\00:10:30.32
Oh! Well I
remember our son Anthony
00:10:30.43\00:10:33.11
when he was
younger, he had a real Math
00:10:33.14\00:10:36.38
Anxiety and he had a
lot of trouble with some
00:10:36.41\00:10:40.84
Math concepts and it
used to create so much
00:10:40.87\00:10:43.74
emotional tension with him that
00:10:43.77\00:10:46.12
he couldn't work on the problem,
00:10:46.15\00:10:47.53
and so as he got a little older.
00:10:47.56\00:10:49.05
We didn't want him
to become entrenched
00:10:49.70\00:10:52.14
in negative
thinking and to just become
00:10:52.17\00:10:55.04
a defeatist about
this, so we, his father
00:10:55.41\00:10:58.79
is a pilot and so
we got him interested
00:10:58.82\00:11:01.33
in flying and when
you are learning to fly
00:11:01.36\00:11:03.54
the thrill of flying
and the thrill of being
00:11:03.80\00:11:07.12
behind those
instruments is a great motivator
00:11:07.15\00:11:10.48
for learning the
Math calculations and so,
00:11:10.71\00:11:13.29
so just switching
the way that we think
00:11:14.64\00:11:17.03
about a challenge can actually
00:11:17.06\00:11:19.24
help us to surround him.
00:11:19.27\00:11:20.27
So, you have gave
him some things to do
00:11:20.30\00:11:21.83
maybe simulator
things and little things that
00:11:21.86\00:11:23.90
were small things
going towards that
00:11:23.93\00:11:25.43
and then your
daughter what do you ever
00:11:25.46\00:11:27.06
do take piano,
violin, orchestra or what?
00:11:27.09\00:11:29.58
She did all of
those things and, and,
00:11:29.61\00:11:31.37
and they learned how
to master difficulties.
00:11:31.40\00:11:33.75
I mean some of these
things have challenges
00:11:33.78\00:11:36.19
in them. I mean
playing the violin,
00:11:36.22\00:11:37.63
playing the piano
can be challenging.
00:11:37.66\00:11:39.22
It's very hard and
both of our children
00:11:39.25\00:11:40.96
took violin. Jennie
took violin and piano
00:11:40.99\00:11:43.50
and one time one of the
children was complaining
00:11:43.53\00:11:46.82
about how difficult
it was, especially violin
00:11:46.85\00:11:49.01
you have to just
get it just write
00:11:49.04\00:11:50.71
and the teacher said if
it wasn't hard everybody
00:11:50.74\00:11:54.49
would be doing it and
she was challenging him.
00:11:54.52\00:11:56.65
She was challenging
him to accept the fact
00:11:56.99\00:12:00.94
that good things
are hard and it's worth
00:12:01.19\00:12:03.34
working toward. So, I
mean this is just a part
00:12:03.37\00:12:05.44
of good parenting
too. It's not just
00:12:05.47\00:12:06.95
for yourself, but for
others to help them stay
00:12:06.98\00:12:08.82
focused, realistic
goals, but then kind of break
00:12:08.85\00:12:12.12
it up and help
them learn how to deal
00:12:12.15\00:12:15.14
with challenges
in small increments.
00:12:15.17\00:12:17.01
Well that's why
they have musicians that
00:12:17.04\00:12:19.20
do scales. You
know when you are first
00:12:19.23\00:12:21.27
learning how to
cook health food.
00:12:21.30\00:12:22.36
You don't go and try
to cook a Gourmet meal.
00:12:22.39\00:12:24.03
You learn how to
cook beans and you learn
00:12:24.06\00:12:25.61
how to make a
burrito and you learn
00:12:25.64\00:12:28.87
how to make a fruit salad.
00:12:28.90\00:12:30.53
You don't go in and try
to do some impossible dish.
00:12:30.56\00:12:34.81
Yeah I'm still right
there. I mean those are
00:12:34.84\00:12:36.24
kind of challenging
for me I'm still working
00:12:36.27\00:12:38.05
on the popcorn recipe.
So expect the challenges.
00:12:38.08\00:12:41.90
Okay so what's your next one?
00:12:41.93\00:12:43.51
So for instance, let me
just give you a personal
00:12:43.54\00:12:45.44
example. Alright.
I love landscaping,
00:12:45.47\00:12:47.29
but I don't know how
to do it. And so what I,
00:12:47.50\00:12:50.91
what I, where I
started, where I was tempted
00:12:50.94\00:12:53.81
to start was just to
give up and be discouraged
00:12:53.84\00:12:56.11
just I would look at
these glorious magazines
00:12:56.14\00:12:58.08
with these great
pictures and I want my yard
00:12:58.11\00:13:00.24
to look like that,
but where I started
00:13:00.27\00:13:01.90
was with a very small
budget and a few seeds
00:13:01.93\00:13:04.32
and finding somebody
at the local nursery.
00:13:04.35\00:13:06.51
They can give me a
little bit of advice
00:13:06.71\00:13:08.46
and so you start with
the little piece of land
00:13:08.49\00:13:10.32
and you do just a
little bit and it builds
00:13:10.35\00:13:12.86
your ability and
our whole message
00:13:12.89\00:13:15.73
it's not the
starting or the finishing
00:13:15.76\00:13:18.19
that's not the glory.
The glory is in the journey.
00:13:18.48\00:13:22.23
It's in staying
with the program as
00:13:22.26\00:13:24.84
you continue to
learn and improve.
00:13:24.87\00:13:26.70
We're talking
with Vicki Griffin.
00:13:26.73\00:13:28.28
We're talking about
how to set and achieve
00:13:28.31\00:13:30.57
realistic goals join
us when we come back.
00:13:30.60\00:13:33.11
Are you confused
about the endless stream
00:13:35.36\00:13:37.77
of new and often
contradictory health
00:13:37.80\00:13:40.01
information with
companies trying to sell
00:13:40.04\00:13:42.47
new drugs and special
interest groups paying
00:13:42.50\00:13:44.98
for studies that spin
the fact, where can you find
00:13:45.01\00:13:47.95
a common sense
approach to health.
00:13:47.98\00:13:49.65
One way is to ask
for your free copy of
00:13:50.14\00:13:52.30
Dr. Arnott's 24
realistic ways to improve your
00:13:52.33\00:13:55.44
health. Dr. Timothy
Arnott and the Lifestyle
00:13:55.47\00:13:57.93
Center of America
produced this helpful
00:13:57.96\00:13:59.94
booklet of 24 short
practical health tips
00:13:59.97\00:14:02.68
based on scientific
research and the Bible
00:14:02.71\00:14:05.11
that will help you
live longer, happier
00:14:05.14\00:14:07.38
and healthier. For
example, did you know
00:14:07.41\00:14:10.10
that women who
drink more water lower
00:14:10.13\00:14:12.15
the risk of heart
attack or the 7 to 8 hours
00:14:12.18\00:14:14.92
of sleep a night can
minimize your risk of ever
00:14:14.95\00:14:17.33
developing diabetes.
Find out how to lower your
00:14:17.36\00:14:20.28
blood pressure and
much more if you're looking
00:14:20.31\00:14:22.49
for help not hike, then
this booklet is for you.
00:14:22.52\00:14:24.69
Just log on to 3abn.org
and click on free offers
00:14:24.97\00:14:28.57
or call us during
regular business hours,
00:14:28.60\00:14:30.85
you'll be glad you did.
00:14:30.88\00:14:32.46
Welcome back we are
glad you are with us
00:14:34.76\00:14:36.31
on the Health for a Lifetime.
00:14:36.34\00:14:37.31
Today, we are talking
about things that seem
00:14:37.32\00:14:39.22
simple to many
people and perhaps they
00:14:39.25\00:14:41.87
seem simplistic to
you, but they really
00:14:41.90\00:14:44.27
are essential. We're
talking with Vicki Griffin.
00:14:44.30\00:14:47.38
We are talking
about setting goals
00:14:47.41\00:14:49.21
and then achieving
those goals and you know
00:14:49.24\00:14:51.13
some of these things
seem pretty simple that
00:14:51.16\00:14:52.77
we gone through
how to stay focused,
00:14:52.80\00:14:54.31
set realistic expectations, and
00:14:54.34\00:14:56.68
expect challenges.
You know that we are
00:14:56.71\00:14:58.82
going through
this list of how to set
00:14:58.85\00:15:00.49
and achieve
goal. But really I mean
00:15:00.52\00:15:02.90
as you think about it
when I think about these
00:15:02.93\00:15:05.86
things they seem so
simple maybe to someone
00:15:05.89\00:15:08.19
that has, has been successful,
00:15:08.22\00:15:10.21
but a lot of
people out there just kind
00:15:10.24\00:15:12.10
of a drift, they
are not going anywhere
00:15:12.13\00:15:14.50
and they are not
going anywhere fast.
00:15:14.53\00:15:16.58
And it's really
important to not just tag a list
00:15:16.61\00:15:20.54
like this up on the
wall, but this has to be part
00:15:20.57\00:15:23.29
of automatic thinking
and response when a mistake
00:15:23.32\00:15:26.88
is made. When
something starts to hinder your
00:15:26.91\00:15:28.91
most important goals
and interfere with that.
00:15:28.94\00:15:30.87
When you start to
become unrealistic
00:15:30.90\00:15:32.69
and you are thinking
an expectation to have
00:15:32.72\00:15:34.72
the internal ability
to instantly recognize
00:15:34.75\00:15:37.43
and check it is
what keeps you on course.
00:15:37.46\00:15:40.31
Now it's ever a time
to bailout your goals.
00:15:40.34\00:15:42.90
Well when they don't
work, when they become
00:15:43.56\00:15:45.47
counterproductive,
when you obsess about
00:15:45.50\00:15:47.70
it or may be the wrong goal,
00:15:47.73\00:15:49.38
it maybe the wrong goal.
00:15:49.41\00:15:50.58
That's exactly right.
Have you ever given up
00:15:50.61\00:15:51.74
on a goal? Yes,
I'm sure that I have.
00:15:51.77\00:15:54.79
Yes, I have
given up on some goals.
00:15:55.34\00:15:56.96
But these are,
assuming these are good goals
00:15:56.99\00:15:59.24
you know sometimes
people say I wanna do
00:15:59.27\00:16:00.99
this and do that.
Right. But then a higher
00:16:01.02\00:16:02.74
source of authority
or situation takes place
00:16:02.77\00:16:05.24
maybe their family,
maybe they read the scriptures,
00:16:05.27\00:16:08.01
maybe they understand something
00:16:08.04\00:16:09.37
and they go wait
a minute wrong goal.
00:16:09.40\00:16:11.44
We don't wanna be inflexible.
00:16:11.47\00:16:13.53
The most important
we're gonna actually
00:16:13.85\00:16:15.80
be discussing in a
later program what the most
00:16:15.83\00:16:19.61
important goals are.
Okay. Seven important
00:16:19.64\00:16:21.75
goals for design your lifestyle.
00:16:21.78\00:16:23.15
Right yeah. And
you have, you have your
00:16:23.18\00:16:25.59
personal,
personal subcategories of
00:16:25.62\00:16:28.21
achievement that fit
into that, but there are basic
00:16:28.24\00:16:30.34
major goals
that should be a part
00:16:30.37\00:16:32.26
of every balanced
life. Okay let's review
00:16:32.29\00:16:34.74
what we did here we
talked about setting
00:16:34.77\00:16:37.26
goals, stay
focused we saw first.
00:16:37.29\00:16:39.11
We set realistic expectations;
00:16:39.52\00:16:41.41
we expect
challenges, but then maintaining
00:16:41.44\00:16:44.73
a positive
attitude. Now you seem to be
00:16:44.76\00:16:46.85
the personification
of positive attitude.
00:16:46.88\00:16:49.68
That is really a very
funny statement because
00:16:49.71\00:16:53.33
I used to be
such a, because of my
00:16:53.36\00:16:55.91
background and
my inheritance I was
00:16:55.94\00:16:58.17
naturally very
negative person and very
00:16:58.20\00:17:00.39
pessimistic
person. When I open my eyes
00:17:00.42\00:17:02.58
in the morning
before my feet hit the floor
00:17:02.61\00:17:04.98
if unchecked I will
think of every horrible
00:17:05.44\00:17:07.87
thing that could
possibly happen that day.
00:17:07.90\00:17:09.51
So you have to
discipline yourself of this and
00:17:09.54\00:17:11.66
this is why you
put it down maintain.
00:17:11.69\00:17:13.42
All the time. So
you start out reading
00:17:13.65\00:17:15.53
to be attitude.
Well when my husband used
00:17:15.56\00:17:18.78
to go on business trips,
I would call him or leave
00:17:18.81\00:17:20.31
a message on his
answer phone and say please
00:17:20.34\00:17:22.02
tell me what's
going on at your meeting,
00:17:22.05\00:17:23.43
so I will know
what to worry about.
00:17:23.46\00:17:24.68
I mean I didn't even
disguise at his prayer.
00:17:24.71\00:17:26.48
It was just raw
worrying all the time.
00:17:26.51\00:17:29.25
And people like that
have that kind of a problem,
00:17:29.28\00:17:32.69
have to take very
active steps to overcome it
00:17:32.72\00:17:35.35
and there are some
very simple strategies.
00:17:35.38\00:17:37.63
So what do you do
to overcome your worry
00:17:37.66\00:17:39.35
wart problem
focused personality?
00:17:39.38\00:17:42.26
Well I, I recognize
that it's disobedient.
00:17:42.55\00:17:46.20
It's a disobedient way
of thinking for one thing,
00:17:46.23\00:17:48.37
because God inhabits
praise and it says the joy
00:17:48.40\00:17:50.81
of the Lord is our
strength and so when
00:17:50.84\00:17:52.66
I'm outside of that
I'm so outside of his
00:17:52.69\00:17:55.24
strength and I'm just
dusting to all the other
00:17:55.27\00:17:58.23
steps and goals that
we talked about just go
00:17:58.26\00:18:00.39
right down the gutter
when I given into incisive
00:18:00.42\00:18:03.82
worrying and
catastrophizing people
00:18:03.85\00:18:05.63
that worry tend to
catastrophize as well.
00:18:05.66\00:18:07.55
And so I, I
recognize that tendency.
00:18:07.84\00:18:11.37
So you know your
negative thought patterns
00:18:11.40\00:18:13.09
when they start and
you say what do you do?
00:18:13.12\00:18:14.97
I mean I used to have this one,
00:18:15.00\00:18:16.27
a lady in my church
excellent health educator
00:18:16.30\00:18:18.86
her name is Amy Sherald and she,
00:18:18.89\00:18:21.27
when she was
helping people stop smoking.
00:18:21.58\00:18:24.08
She would have to
wear this bigger rubber
00:18:24.11\00:18:25.54
band and as soon as
they had this urge come on,
00:18:25.57\00:18:28.62
she just snap
that rubber band bang
00:18:28.65\00:18:30.98
and then don't think
about something else.
00:18:31.01\00:18:32.57
So that lessons. What do you do?
00:18:32.60\00:18:34.21
What she is doing is
really scientific because
00:18:34.81\00:18:36.79
she is lessening the
reward of that addictive
00:18:36.82\00:18:40.31
behavior and you also;
you also want to reinforce
00:18:40.34\00:18:43.46
the positive
thinking. So for instance,
00:18:43.49\00:18:44.98
I go to the gym
several times a week
00:18:45.39\00:18:47.68
with my husband
because I know that
00:18:47.71\00:18:49.85
it is a going to have
a very powerful impact
00:18:49.88\00:18:52.37
on my ability to
cope with stress and mood.
00:18:52.40\00:18:54.57
My diet takes care of
all this, when I get out
00:18:54.60\00:18:57.17
of bed in the
morning in Michigan freezing,
00:18:57.20\00:18:59.29
sleeting cold
weather early in the morning.
00:18:59.33\00:19:01.38
You run 15 miles to
the gym. No I don't,
00:19:01.41\00:19:03.51
I don't even like
to exercise frankly,
00:19:03.69\00:19:06.19
but I know that
it is so beneficial
00:19:06.22\00:19:08.37
and I feel so
good. So what I chose to
00:19:08.40\00:19:10.45
focus on. I have
two choices I can either
00:19:10.48\00:19:13.35
chose to focus on
how freezing cold it is,
00:19:13.43\00:19:16.09
how tired I'm. I
really would rather spend
00:19:16.12\00:19:18.96
an extra hour in
bed; I could focus on,
00:19:18.99\00:19:21.15
the fact that I'm
aging and could eventually
00:19:21.18\00:19:23.70
fall apart anyway.
I could focus on all
00:19:23.73\00:19:25.78
of those things or I
can focus on the fact
00:19:25.81\00:19:29.64
that this is going
to give me an amazing
00:19:29.67\00:19:31.87
boost of energy. I'm
gonna meet some very nice
00:19:31.90\00:19:34.14
people there. I'm
gonna have companionship
00:19:34.17\00:19:35.85
with my husband,
I'm gonna build tone
00:19:35.88\00:19:37.94
and muscle into
my body and throttle
00:19:37.97\00:19:41.73
up my mood, so I
can chose which set of.
00:19:41.76\00:19:43.91
Of course you can also
stand before the people
00:19:43.94\00:19:45.35
that you represent
as a health department
00:19:45.38\00:19:47.66
director and say I exercise.
00:19:47.69\00:19:49.01
Yes, I could tell
them that I do that,
00:19:49.04\00:19:50.74
so you have to
make up your mind what
00:19:50.77\00:19:54.08
list you are gonna
focus on and you have
00:19:54.11\00:19:56.21
to decide what you
are gonna focus on.
00:19:56.24\00:19:57.77
And negative
thinking is habitual and often
00:19:57.80\00:20:00.98
times a self pity
is a very real factor.
00:20:01.01\00:20:03.81
Self pity is
Elisabeth Elliot said that
00:20:03.84\00:20:06.42
self pity is a death
from which there is no
00:20:06.45\00:20:08.65
resurrection. It is a
sinkhole from which no
00:20:08.68\00:20:11.87
helping hand can save you,
00:20:11.90\00:20:13.37
because you have
chosen to be there and so,
00:20:13.40\00:20:15.12
so this self pity
attitude and pour me is a
00:20:15.39\00:20:20.17
destructive negative
type of thinking that
00:20:20.20\00:20:22.13
just must be overcome.
And nobody really likes
00:20:22.16\00:20:23.42
to hang around that.
Nobody likes someone,
00:20:23.45\00:20:24.93
Who's always just
talking about negative things.
00:20:24.96\00:20:26.94
No, if you throw a
pity party you are gonna
00:20:26.97\00:20:28.55
have very few
guests. Laugh and you laugh
00:20:28.58\00:20:30.88
and the world laughs with you.
00:20:30.91\00:20:32.01
Weep and you weep
alone. That's right.
00:20:32.04\00:20:33.58
Now number five I think our next
00:20:34.46\00:20:35.89
on our list. We
have to stay focused,
00:20:35.92\00:20:37.85
set realistic
expectations, expect
00:20:37.88\00:20:40.70
challenges, maintain a positive
00:20:40.73\00:20:41.74
attitude, seek support
00:20:41.77\00:20:43.38
and accept responsibility.
00:20:43.41\00:20:45.60
That's right that's another one
00:20:45.63\00:20:47.18
it's very very important.
00:20:47.21\00:20:48.86
Spending time with and forming
00:20:48.89\00:20:51.87
relationships with people who
00:20:51.90\00:20:53.71
have positive life skills is one
00:20:53.74\00:20:56.02
of the best ways to learn new
00:20:56.05\00:20:58.09
habits and new ways of thinking.
00:20:58.12\00:20:59.40
We are gonna become what we
00:20:59.43\00:21:00.76
surround ourselves with and so.
00:21:00.79\00:21:02.30
I always try to find someone in
00:21:02.33\00:21:03.47
school that was
smarter, brighter,
00:21:03.50\00:21:04.98
and faster. It wasn't too hard.
00:21:05.01\00:21:06.70
That's a good
program. At first and so.
00:21:06.73\00:21:09.58
And there are,
there are people that
00:21:09.61\00:21:13.06
God puts into our
lives for a reason
00:21:13.09\00:21:15.14
because he wants
us to see how they
00:21:15.17\00:21:18.12
are dealing with
life, how they think
00:21:18.15\00:21:19.89
about things. I
like to find people
00:21:19.92\00:21:22.03
that think about
things in a better
00:21:22.06\00:21:23.62
way then I do
and I like to adopt
00:21:23.65\00:21:25.80
and practice
those new behaviors.
00:21:25.83\00:21:27.40
It's not easy and I don't always
00:21:27.43\00:21:29.15
succeed in
trying on new behaviors
00:21:29.18\00:21:32.24
and doing the perfect thing.
00:21:32.27\00:21:33.47
It doesn't always work for me,
00:21:33.50\00:21:35.32
but it's a really great program
00:21:35.35\00:21:37.86
to be on. And the
thing about support,
00:21:37.89\00:21:40.46
support is the
very important thing
00:21:40.49\00:21:42.00
we all want to feel supported,
00:21:42.03\00:21:43.31
but the only reason you have
00:21:43.34\00:21:44.80
social relationships
is for support that's
00:21:44.83\00:21:46.97
really
crippling. We also need to
00:21:47.00\00:21:49.11
understand that
part of the positive
00:21:49.14\00:21:51.45
affect of social interaction and
00:21:51.48\00:21:55.30
being involved with hobbies and
00:21:55.33\00:21:57.49
projects and classes and friends
00:21:57.52\00:21:59.39
and
volunteerism and all of those
00:21:59.42\00:22:01.95
kinds of things. It's important
00:22:01.98\00:22:04.78
because then we have an
00:22:04.81\00:22:07.08
opportunity to manifest
00:22:07.11\00:22:09.14
responsibility to exhibit
00:22:09.17\00:22:10.81
responsibility
in various areas of
00:22:10.84\00:22:12.64
our lives and we
also have built into
00:22:12.67\00:22:17.14
those situations accountability.
00:22:17.17\00:22:18.80
An
accountability is something that
00:22:18.83\00:22:20.49
we all need as human beings.
00:22:20.52\00:22:21.55
We are all gonna behave better,
00:22:21.58\00:22:22.87
when we are around each other.
00:22:22.90\00:22:24.08
We gonna learn better behavior
00:22:24.11\00:22:25.50
when we are in
contact with one another.
00:22:25.53\00:22:27.15
It's called social
restraint. So not to
00:22:27.18\00:22:29.89
seeking support so that you can
00:22:29.92\00:22:31.55
have someone
listen to all year soap
00:22:31.58\00:22:34.07
stories and
listen that, but to get
00:22:34.10\00:22:35.40
involved and it
holds you accountable.
00:22:35.43\00:22:37.60
It gives you, I
mean there is lot
00:22:37.63\00:22:39.02
of studies on this that show how
00:22:39.05\00:22:40.57
people would show up if
you know, oh absolutely,
00:22:40.60\00:22:41.57
even if you have a
dog that's a little
00:22:42.89\00:22:44.81
more responsibility.
You got to take it
00:22:44.84\00:22:46.04
out for a walk. That's right.
00:22:46.07\00:22:47.64
The part of that
is self support right,
00:22:47.67\00:22:49.16
having a pet would that
00:22:49.19\00:22:50.24
be okay for social support?
00:22:50.27\00:22:52.39
Yes and you can't, you know.
00:22:52.42\00:22:53.98
A pet alligator or something.
00:22:54.01\00:22:55.52
People join walking clubs.
00:22:55.55\00:22:57.15
They get together and they share
00:22:57.18\00:22:58.51
together and in our society you
00:22:58.54\00:23:00.87
know the remote
control, garage door
00:23:00.90\00:23:03.20
openers and air
conditioning have
00:23:03.23\00:23:04.83
eliminated the front porch and
00:23:04.86\00:23:06.26
people don't
sit on their porches
00:23:06.29\00:23:07.51
and visit anymore, so we are
00:23:07.54\00:23:09.02
losing social
contact with people
00:23:09.05\00:23:11.06
and yet this is a
very vital element
00:23:11.09\00:23:12.82
for healing and for growth and
00:23:12.85\00:23:14.97
for positive
role modelling, so its
00:23:15.00\00:23:17.15
very very
important that we engage
00:23:17.18\00:23:20.00
with positive
people who have positive
00:23:20.03\00:23:22.03
life skills.
It's like my husband
00:23:22.06\00:23:23.50
says you can't
sore with the eagles
00:23:23.53\00:23:25.70
if you are
walking with the turkeys
00:23:25.73\00:23:26.97
and so you have got to choose
00:23:27.00\00:23:31.17
who you pattern after and who
00:23:32.20\00:23:33.72
you hang with on a regular
00:23:33.75\00:23:35.96
basis very carefully.
00:23:35.99\00:23:37.54
Well they say the
banana that leaves
00:23:37.57\00:23:40.15
the bunch usually gets eaten.
00:23:40.18\00:23:41.25
So you got to hang with the
00:23:41.28\00:23:43.27
bananas right.
Yeah, I haven't heard,
00:23:43.30\00:23:44.38
I haven't heard
that one and it's not
00:23:44.41\00:23:45.58
that we don't
care for all people.
00:23:45.61\00:23:47.05
It's not that we
don't have a heart
00:23:47.08\00:23:48.41
for people with
problems, but if we
00:23:48.44\00:23:50.19
are not gaining
skill and strength
00:23:50.22\00:23:51.90
ourselves and exposing ourselves
00:23:51.93\00:23:53.81
to positive
modelling. Right, then we won't
00:23:53.84\00:23:56.07
have anything. And this is
00:23:56.10\00:23:57.07
big in your
health classes people go
00:23:57.08\00:23:58.79
through them and they just.
00:23:58.82\00:23:59.79
You don't want to
just have an event;
00:23:59.80\00:24:00.77
you want to have
a process. Exactly.
00:24:00.78\00:24:02.66
So they get involved
in alumni association
00:24:02.69\00:24:04.66
or whatever they have. You have
00:24:04.69\00:24:06.21
developed your
materials, they have
00:24:06.24\00:24:07.42
noticed that,
they are kind of like
00:24:07.45\00:24:08.83
a year long
process and people can
00:24:08.86\00:24:11.28
can have that
curriculum where the
00:24:11.31\00:24:12.72
one habit is
then, you know support
00:24:12.75\00:24:15.59
and social support and all those
00:24:15.62\00:24:16.95
different things very you know
00:24:16.98\00:24:18.24
it's pretty basic but it can't
00:24:18.27\00:24:19.67
be underscored enough.
00:24:19.70\00:24:20.91
People don't
realize how important it is,
00:24:20.94\00:24:22.37
they think to themselves well
00:24:22.40\00:24:23.70
if I go and I
get this information
00:24:23.73\00:24:25.28
on how to live a
better life and eat
00:24:25.31\00:24:26.78
better than, I will
just go home and do it.
00:24:26.81\00:24:27.97
Well only two
to three percent of
00:24:28.00\00:24:31.18
people that
actually have that mindset,
00:24:31.21\00:24:33.19
highly motivated
people will be able
00:24:33.22\00:24:35.28
to do that, but
most people need to
00:24:35.31\00:24:37.03
have an environment around them
00:24:37.06\00:24:38.32
of positive
people if they think that
00:24:38.35\00:24:40.72
way and are encouraging those
00:24:40.75\00:24:42.70
kinds of choices
and they can continue
00:24:42.73\00:24:44.20
to learn from one another how to
00:24:44.23\00:24:45.99
implement positive choices and
00:24:46.02\00:24:47.99
make them a part of their lives.
00:24:48.02\00:24:49.17
We got about
three minutes and we
00:24:49.20\00:24:50.39
got two points, so if that means
00:24:50.42\00:24:52.05
we gonna have to time ourselves,
00:24:52.08\00:24:53.15
but practicing new choices and
00:24:53.18\00:24:55.64
then connecting those are the
00:24:55.67\00:24:57.17
last two and we only have about
00:24:57.20\00:24:59.76
three minutes.
We wanna talk about
00:24:59.79\00:25:01.18
both of them, practicing new
00:25:01.21\00:25:02.40
choices and connecting.
00:25:02.43\00:25:03.69
What about
practicing new choices?
00:25:03.72\00:25:05.03
Well, for instance, if you are a
00:25:06.23\00:25:07.93
negative person
naturally and naturally
00:25:07.96\00:25:10.73
irritable you want
to practice positive
00:25:10.76\00:25:13.37
responses that
means you practice
00:25:13.40\00:25:15.59
it in your
prayers and you practice
00:25:15.62\00:25:17.06
it mentally
instead of rehearsing
00:25:17.09\00:25:20.19
over and over the difficulties.
00:25:20.22\00:25:21.93
You rehearse the
positive responses
00:25:21.96\00:25:24.30
that you want to be yours.
00:25:24.33\00:25:25.91
As you, the
practicing new choices
00:25:25.94\00:25:27.89
would be like
going to the gym everyday
00:25:27.92\00:25:29.50
doing these
different things practice
00:25:29.53\00:25:31.07
makes perfect. If
you're grouchy in the
00:25:31.10\00:25:32.34
morning practice being pleasant.
00:25:32.37\00:25:33.92
How are you this morning?
00:25:33.95\00:25:34.93
I'm happy to see
you, may I fix you
00:25:34.96\00:25:36.54
some oat milk.
This is practicing a
00:25:36.57\00:25:38.73
response that
feels like it's unnatural
00:25:38.76\00:25:41.73
to an impulse, but
it's going to create
00:25:41.76\00:25:43.64
a neurologic
overlay and actually create
00:25:43.67\00:25:46.06
a new network
in the brain and it
00:25:46.09\00:25:47.90
will throttle up
your ability to become
00:25:47.93\00:25:50.24
the very person
that you want to be.
00:25:50.27\00:25:51.67
Well I mean,
with all the respects
00:25:51.70\00:25:54.22
sometimes people
can act really nice,
00:25:54.25\00:25:55.71
but they are
still seething inside,
00:25:55.74\00:25:57.24
so I think your last one kind of
00:25:57.27\00:25:58.47
address is that. Doesn't it?
00:25:58.50\00:25:59.77
It talks about connection. Oh!
00:25:59.80\00:26:01.16
Absolutely because you know
00:26:01.19\00:26:02.56
circumstances
alone cannot change
00:26:02.59\00:26:04.35
our heart, but we
must not underestimate
00:26:04.38\00:26:06.77
the power of the spoken word.
00:26:06.80\00:26:08.25
We think that
we can say whatever
00:26:08.28\00:26:09.50
we want and that
it's not going to
00:26:09.53\00:26:10.89
affect us, but as
a man thinks so easy,
00:26:10.92\00:26:14.38
but also as you
speak so you become.
00:26:14.41\00:26:17.35
So if you have a will and desire
00:26:17.38\00:26:18.93
to be more pleasant person and
00:26:18.96\00:26:21.04
I'm using this is
an example and you
00:26:21.07\00:26:22.59
begin to rehearse
pleasant responses.
00:26:22.62\00:26:24.37
It will have an
affect on your levels
00:26:24.40\00:26:26.66
of irritability. It will help,
00:26:26.69\00:26:28.01
but we have to remember that
00:26:28.04\00:26:29.56
without the power
of God the natural
00:26:29.59\00:26:31.53
heart cannot
change. God is at the
00:26:31.56\00:26:34.27
centre of everything and he must
00:26:34.30\00:26:35.52
change our heart.
He changes our will,
00:26:35.55\00:26:37.32
He changes our desires, but then
00:26:37.35\00:26:39.32
as we implement the tools that
00:26:39.35\00:26:41.52
he has given us
such as practicing
00:26:41.55\00:26:43.50
those better responses.
00:26:43.53\00:26:44.64
What does the Bible say.
00:26:44.67\00:26:45.64
It says put on
the Lord Jesus and
00:26:45.65\00:26:48.12
make no provision for the flesh.
00:26:48.15\00:26:49.45
And it says we have to practice
00:26:49.48\00:26:51.45
these things and
so as we implement
00:26:51.48\00:26:54.27
these things on
principle they will
00:26:54.30\00:26:56.61
become a part of our lives.
00:26:56.64\00:26:58.01
Yeah that's good news too.
00:26:58.04\00:26:59.48
Let's just review what we have
00:26:59.51\00:27:01.05
covered today and look
00:27:01.08\00:27:02.41
out our graphic again.
00:27:02.44\00:27:03.54
Stay focused, set
realistic expectations,
00:27:03.57\00:27:06.07
expect challenges,
maintain a positive
00:27:06.10\00:27:08.74
attitude. Seek
support and accept
00:27:08.77\00:27:10.72
responsibility.
Practice new choices,
00:27:10.75\00:27:13.25
but probably most importantly
00:27:13.28\00:27:15.26
to make all those of the words
00:27:15.29\00:27:16.55
connect with God
who can really make
00:27:16.58\00:27:19.24
all of those things and to final
00:27:19.27\00:27:21.04
all those things
for us isn't that right?
00:27:21.07\00:27:22.38
He is the only
one that can give us
00:27:22.41\00:27:23.59
the will and the desire to stay
00:27:23.62\00:27:25.21
with the
journey. Thank you so much
00:27:25.24\00:27:27.27
Vicki for being
with us. Thank you.
00:27:27.30\00:27:29.15
And thank you
for the work you do
00:27:29.18\00:27:30.57
at the Michigan Conference
00:27:30.60\00:27:31.63
and thank you for working so
00:27:31.66\00:27:34.08
affectively with
Lifestyle Matters
00:27:34.11\00:27:36.00
and that ministry
lifestylematter.com.
00:27:36.03\00:27:38.52
And I know that
you know I access that
00:27:38.55\00:27:41.52
many times in my
ministry and I know
00:27:41.55\00:27:43.51
it could be a great
help to our listeners.
00:27:43.54\00:27:44.88
Thank you for
joining us. We hope
00:27:44.91\00:27:46.54
today the simple
yet very powerful
00:27:46.57\00:27:49.19
concepts you
can incorporate into
00:27:49.22\00:27:51.73
your life and as
a result you can be
00:27:51.76\00:27:53.86
focused and be an
effective tool for
00:27:53.89\00:27:57.39
the master. May God bless you as
00:27:57.42\00:27:59.17
you have health
that last for lifetime.
00:27:59.20\00:28:00.99