Hello and welcome to
Health for a Lifetime.
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I'm your host Don Mackintosh.
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Today we're going to be talking
about a very serious subject.
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We're going to
talk about sexual abuse
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and how it relates to children.
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This has been a big problem
recently in this country and
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many places around the
world it is a big problem.
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Today if you are a young
person watching or if you're a
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healthcare provider or if
you are someone that just sees
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something that looks troubling
to you, I know you're going
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to find some
things that will help.
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Talking with us today
is a psychiatrist from
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Pittsburg,
Pennsylvania, Dr. Manjula Borge.
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Doctor, we're just glad
that you could take the time
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out of your busy fellowship.
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You're doing a fellowship now in
adolescent and child psychiatry
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I understand there where you
are doing the fellowship they
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actually have a traumatic center
that actually deals with this
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very problem.
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Yes, thank you
for having me here.
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At Allegany General Hospital
we have a center for traumatic
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disorders.
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We see a lot of children
who are abused in different ways
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and give them
help, give them support.
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But even when I see patients
I see a lot of children who have
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been through
different kinds of abuse.
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It's really very devastating.
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Imagine a child who is growing
up and having a developing mind
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and the adults role is to take
care of them, to protect them
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to teach them, to nurture them.
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When this is broken, when this
is destroyed and someone who's
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in the capacity of helping and
protecting the child, violates
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the child in different ways
be it physical, emotional, or
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sexual the development of the
child is not normal any more.
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It goes in several different
ways and children are affected
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majorly by the
different events that can occur.
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It's a huge, huge impact that is
placed on the developing mind.
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Two things, while we go through
this part of the program, that I
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just want to say.
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If you're involved in abusing
a child, I hope this program
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makes you so uncomfortable
that you turn yourself in.
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You need help.
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If you're someone who's gone
through abuse or experienced
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that, I hope you find hope
and help in the program today.
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Let's look then at what
the impact is of the emotional
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physical, sexual abuse.
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You might want to give
some kind of definition but then
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going into what the impact is,
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what kind of
damage does this cause.
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Studies have shown that people
who are abused they in turn
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return and abuse -
become abusers from what their
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experience has been.
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Like you mentioned earlier,
it's very important to go and
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get the help that they
need so that they will turn out
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to not abuse others.
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In other words, this is a
plea for help even for someone
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that's involved - a perpetrator.
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Absolutely.
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You know there's a lot of
resources, they can go and talk
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to your doctor and
things can remain confidential.
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And you can get
the help that you need.
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How do we know when
someone has been abused?
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We don't want to get into
all the details but how can
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we tell when
someone is being abused
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physically,
emotionally, psychologically?
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What are the
warning signs and symptoms?
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There are several signs of
a person who has been abused
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may not react in
what we call normal ways.
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They might be more irritable,
more anxious, certain things
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that they do
might not be normal.
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For example: children if you
see them playing they might not
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play like a normal child
would with other children.
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They can also
reenact their abuse.
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For example: if they're playing
with toys or with dolls they
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might do the same thing that
was done to them to that doll.
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Those are all BIG warning signs.
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Yes.
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If a child is doing certain
things that show that something
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doesn't look right.
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Or why is the child being so
brutal like killing the doll,
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or killing the
soldier, or whatever?
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So if a child shows symptoms
like that you maybe want to
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find out a little bit more.
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It can be something that is just
know about that they saw from
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TV or learned about.
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But one might want to ask
if you see certain kind of
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actions from the child that
trigger some kind of suspicion
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of abuse.
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By beholding we're changed
and they've been changed by what
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they beheld or
what's been done to them.
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Yes, because a child who is not
supposed to know certain things
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and is exposed to that
will probably show it out
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in certain ways.
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That can be a warning sign to
parents if it's coming from the
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family or from the neighborhood
to find out what's going on.
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Are there any statistics?
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Who are the people
most involved in abusing?
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I think usually what studies
show is people who are known
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to the abused person.
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Is this the person
that drives down the road?
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It's the person
that's in their normal life.
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Yes, well, you can have
people even from the streets,
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strangers who abuse
people who cause rapes.
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But usually if it's something
that's going on within the
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family situation, within
the neighborhood, it's usually a
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like a known person probably
a boyfriend or even a spouse
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or a parent can
be the perpetrator.
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For a professional, clinician,
nurse, doctor, psychologist,
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etc they're duty bound to report
anything that they think is
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suspicious.
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If they don't they
could loose their license.
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They need to do that.
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A school principal,
a teacher - same thing.
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They need to report that, if
they don't then they're going
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to be in trouble.
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But what about lay people?
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What should they do?
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How should they relate?
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I think lay people should
definitely ask for help or find
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out resources that
they can get the help from.
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Imagine if someone is
going through certain abuse
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you want to protect that person.
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You want to
prevent any further abuse.
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So for a lay person I
think it's important to contact
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any mental health resource
agency or any kind of facility
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where you can find out
and learn something more.
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A lot of these places
sometimes they don't even ask
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who is the person reporting.
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You don't need to
be fearful of that.
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At least once you report
the authorities can come and
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investigate the problem
and find out what's going on.
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I think one should not be
hesitant to seek help to help
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somebody who's going
through a certain type of abuse.
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I think it's important that
you don't necessarily have to
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know the abuse in 100% happening
even if you suspect it but
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you're not sure,
you can report it.
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The authorities will come
and try to find out the details
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of what is going on.
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So even if you suspect
certain physical abuse or danger
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to a child or threat to the
child's life or sexual abuse
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one can report that and then
it's up to the authorities to go
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investigate if
this is the case or not.
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Let's talk about the impact this
has on the children themselves.
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What are the studies showing?
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What is the impact for
these types of abuse - physical,
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emotional, and sexual?
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One can just imagine what
impact it has on the child.
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I see a lot of
patients who've been abused.
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They are very devastated.
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People who are supposed to
protect them are abusing them.
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I think children go through
a period of where they mistrust
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protectors.
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It's not just they mistrust
them, they even mistrust other
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people like medical
professionals and other people
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who are trying to help them.
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The trust is lost.
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They think that you're not
going to care or you're not
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going to do anything
about it or even if you care,
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what can you do, the
situation is hopeless.
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This is happening
because of my own loved one,
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so what can you do?
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I think there's a
lot of mistrust involved.
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a lot of feelings of
basically hopelessness.
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This is an environment where
they're supposed to be protected
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and kept safe and this
violation is happening to them.
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So they feel very hopeless.
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Sometimes they even feel
like nothing can be done.
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If their father is abusing
them and they tell their mom,
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the mom is going to get
more upset and more angry
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so they might as
well not tell them that.
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They might as well
not hurt the other parent.
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Are they unaware that
they are being abused?
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Do they think it's normal?
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Sometimes that could be.
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If a child doesn't
know what's proper,
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what is right from wrong,
they might think that this
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is something that is
supposed to be happening.
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But I think that when
the children talk in school
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with their friends about
what is going on, they can
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find out from their teachers
that this is something not
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supposed to be happening and
I think they can get the help
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that they need.
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So impact of them is: trust,
hopelessness, fearfulness,
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a sense of anxiety.
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Is there any other impact?
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Absolutely.
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There is a lot of physical
and emotional impact that the
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child might have problems
with physical complaints.
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They might show it as having
nightmares, night terrors,
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and difficulty sleeping.
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They might become very
aggressive with their peers.
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They might become threatening.
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Just like how they are
threatened during the process
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to not tell anybody
or to be quiet about it.
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They in turn can become bullies
at school and be very angry and
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resentful.
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So any drastic change here
or building change would cause
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you to think, "I
need to check this out. "
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What about this?
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Sometimes people say,
"Well, that child's lying. "
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Do children
ever lie about abuse?
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Well, sometimes
children can do that.
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Sometimes if a child is upset
with the parent or some reason
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they didn't get their way, if
they didn't get their allowance,
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or they were not allowed to
go on a date and they've been
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through a situation
before where they were abused
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and they got the
help that they needed.
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So they might look at this
situation as, "Well, if I just
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lie, I might get the
help and I might be able to do
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what I want to. "
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So, you know, you can have
instances where children lie.
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But that's rare.
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Yes, that is rare.
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Usually kids who are abused,
usually that's going on in the
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family and maybe
it's not just them.
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It's probably the
other siblings also.
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It could probably
even be the spouse.
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So you can figure it out by just
looking into... you have ways
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of figuring out whether
or not it's a lie or not?
00:13:05.66\00:13:06.85
Yes, you can get more history,
more collateral history and
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then find out.
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I think sometimes kids if they
do that and if they lie they
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come out after some
time and they will tell you
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that they did lie about it
when you were interviewing them.
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So they'll come and say, "I
did this just so I could have
00:13:21.37\00:13:24.71
this or do this. "
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The perpetrator, the
person watching, they probably
00:13:25.73\00:13:31.51
many times will focus while
that person is lying and they
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really play that up.
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I'm sure they do that to
get around and not be caught.
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Let me ask this about
those who are abusing others.
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There was a large church
organization that unfortunately
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was involved and recently
many people heard about this
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where people in authority
were abusing parishioners
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But then they would be shifted
and they would cover it up.
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Now they're
taking stronger measures.
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I don't know everything about
what that particular church is
00:14:02.65\00:14:05.51
doing, but I do know that some
people say there is really very
00:14:05.54\00:14:12.78
limited amount of hope
for someone that is actually
00:14:12.81\00:14:16.70
an adult that is abusing people.
00:14:16.74\00:14:18.98
They many times
don't get over this.
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They've been for years in
treatment and then they go
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right out and do it again.
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Is there any
hope for perpetrators?
00:14:25.10\00:14:27.07
Absolutely.
00:14:27.10\00:14:28.07
I think there is ALWAYS hope.
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If one want to change their
ways of whatever they've been
00:14:30.19\00:14:34.89
doing, be it even
if they were abused.
00:14:34.92\00:14:38.11
You know a lot of people,
like I mentioned, abuse others
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because they themselves have
been abused and if they look at
00:14:40.95\00:14:44.36
that as something that shouldn't
have happened to them or how
00:14:44.40\00:14:49.30
could it and as a way of revenge
of what happened to them.
00:14:49.33\00:14:54.20
on others.
00:14:54.23\00:14:55.20
I think that
definitely there is always hope.
00:14:55.21\00:14:58.87
When one wants to and it matters
if you want to help yourself.
00:14:58.91\00:15:06.16
That is an important aspect
also because if you go to the
00:15:06.19\00:15:08.98
different clinicians and if you
go to different people to get
00:15:09.01\00:15:11.76
the help and yourself
don't want to necessarily change
00:15:11.80\00:15:16.26
or be helped then I think
whatever one can do might not
00:15:16.29\00:15:20.72
be helpful to that person.
00:15:20.75\00:15:21.87
But if you want to get help
or whatever addiction you have
00:15:21.90\00:15:26.04
there is definitely hope.
00:15:26.07\00:15:27.98
You go speak to your physicians
and they can talk with you.
00:15:28.01\00:15:33.26
I think fear of not getting
the help is a barrier that
00:15:33.30\00:15:38.41
stops people going
and getting the help.
00:15:38.45\00:15:41.11
And also fear of
the consequences of what
00:15:41.14\00:15:43.76
will happen.
00:15:43.80\00:15:44.77
But I think one needs to deal
with that fear and one needs to
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be able to put up with
the consequences of what
00:15:48.32\00:15:51.31
you've done.
00:15:51.35\00:15:52.32
You never know that while going
through that process of maybe
00:15:52.33\00:15:56.65
some things that you have
done in the past will help you
00:15:56.68\00:15:59.80
and make you a better
person and will teach you.
00:15:59.84\00:16:04.73
I think it's very important
to go and get the help and
00:16:04.76\00:16:08.40
there is a lot of hope for
people who hurt other people.
00:16:08.43\00:16:12.00
I really hope that if there is
anyone in that situation to know
00:16:12.03\00:16:16.33
there is a lot of hope
and a lot of help out there.
00:16:16.37\00:16:19.70
We're talking
with Dr. Manjula Borge
00:16:19.74\00:16:22.80
She's a
psychiatrist from Pennsylvania.
00:16:22.84\00:16:25.84
When we come back we're
going to look at some hope
00:16:25.87\00:16:29.16
and some help.
00:16:29.20\00:16:30.17
We started talk about that
now, not only for a perpetrators
00:16:30.18\00:16:33.97
but also for those who have
been the recipients of abuse.
00:16:34.00\00:16:38.10
Join us when we come back.
00:16:38.13\00:16:39.10
Have you found
yourself wishing that you could
00:16:40.44\00:16:42.46
shed a few pounds?
00:16:42.49\00:16:43.46
Have you been on a
diet for most of your life?
00:16:43.47\00:16:46.02
But not found anything that
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00:16:46.05\00:16:48.79
If you've answered yes to
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00:16:48.82\00:16:52.51
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00:16:52.54\00:16:54.36
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00:16:54.39\00:16:57.54
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00:16:57.57\00:16:59.77
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00:17:09.72\00:17:11.41
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00:17:11.44\00:17:15.08
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00:17:15.11\00:17:18.66
and in this booklet they present
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00:17:18.69\00:17:22.17
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00:17:22.20\00:17:25.39
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00:17:25.42\00:17:27.86
Call or write
today for your free copy:
00:17:27.89\00:17:30.29
Welcome back.
00:17:41.14\00:17:42.11
We're talking with Dr.
Borge from Pennsylvania.
00:17:42.12\00:17:45.79
She is a psychiatrist that
is now doing a fellowship in
00:17:45.82\00:17:51.51
child and adolescent psychiatry.
00:17:51.54\00:17:54.84
She has to deal, unfortunately,
with people that have gone
00:17:54.87\00:17:58.26
through significant
abuse - physical, emotional,
00:17:58.29\00:18:01.21
and sexual abuse.
00:18:01.24\00:18:02.44
You've been talking
about the problem and what
00:18:02.47\00:18:06.14
the impact can be.
00:18:06.18\00:18:07.18
Now we want to talk
about the treatment.
00:18:07.21\00:18:08.91
We want to talk
about help and hope.
00:18:08.94\00:18:10.79
What kind of things
do you as a clinician do?
00:18:10.82\00:18:13.57
What can we do?
00:18:13.60\00:18:14.57
What can those listening do
to get the help that they need?
00:18:14.58\00:18:17.68
Now we're talking not about
the perpetrators, although we
00:18:17.71\00:18:19.98
talked about that a little bit,
but we're talking about those
00:18:20.01\00:18:23.50
who have been abused.
00:18:23.53\00:18:24.50
I feel very privileged to
work with people who have been
00:18:24.51\00:18:31.43
abused and have been violated.
00:18:31.46\00:18:34.00
I think that being in a position
where I can be of help and
00:18:34.03\00:18:39.85
support to them it
just makes me very happy.
00:18:39.88\00:18:43.08
I feel fortunate to be in that
position to work with people.
00:18:43.11\00:18:48.16
What can people who
have been abused do about it?
00:18:48.19\00:18:53.72
I think number one is going
out there and seeking help.
00:18:53.76\00:19:01.35
I think that's an important
step that one can take.
00:19:01.38\00:19:04.53
Because if one stays with the
guilt and all the suffering that
00:19:04.56\00:19:07.97
they're going through and feel
that there is nothing they can
00:19:08.01\00:19:11.38
do about it or
it's just so impossible.
00:19:11.42\00:19:13.68
That is a huge problem.
00:19:13.72\00:19:17.08
It's more devastating.
00:19:17.11\00:19:18.08
Absolutely.
00:19:18.09\00:19:19.06
If you don't know what kind of
help is out there, I think you
00:19:19.07\00:19:24.61
cannot be benefited from it.
00:19:24.65\00:19:25.98
So let's say you're a 5 year old
or a 7 year old, you're just one
00:19:26.02\00:19:28.70
of these little children,
tell someone, tell an aunt,
00:19:28.74\00:19:33.88
tell an uncle, tell
them to go get some help.
00:19:33.91\00:19:35.87
Sure.
00:19:35.90\00:19:36.87
If the unfortunate situation
if it is happening with your own
00:19:36.89\00:19:41.94
parent or parents then you
can tell your family members or
00:19:41.97\00:19:46.99
you can tell
your school teacher.
00:19:47.02\00:19:49.09
Pastor, school
teacher - just tell someone.
00:19:49.13\00:19:51.36
Sure.
00:19:51.40\00:19:52.37
I think that that is a
very important step one can take
00:19:52.38\00:19:56.52
in healing themselves by
going and seeking for help by
00:19:56.56\00:20:01.16
telling someone.
00:20:01.19\00:20:02.16
That just opens a huge
area of where you can get help
00:20:02.17\00:20:08.27
and be supported.
00:20:08.30\00:20:09.70
I think coming out with that and
asking for help is important.
00:20:09.73\00:20:13.47
You don't have to explain
exactly the details because
00:20:13.51\00:20:16.64
once that you ask for
help they'll get to that.
00:20:16.68\00:20:20.40
They will refer you to the
right person so you might not
00:20:20.43\00:20:23.12
want to explain the whole detail
if you don't feel comfortable
00:20:23.15\00:20:26.94
with that person.
00:20:26.97\00:20:27.94
But at least if that person
can hook you up with the right
00:20:27.95\00:20:31.73
facility to get the help, then
you can go and discuss that with
00:20:31.77\00:20:35.42
your psychiatrist who
will keep things confidential
00:20:35.46\00:20:38.63
but of course like you mentioned
before in cases of abuse
00:20:38.67\00:20:42.70
confidentiality has to be
breached because the right
00:20:42.73\00:20:45.80
authorities have to be informed
so that this will be prevented
00:20:45.83\00:20:49.23
from further happening.
00:20:49.26\00:20:51.46
You talk about seeking
some support from the community
00:20:51.49\00:20:54.12
and the family.
00:20:54.16\00:20:55.60
Of course the family is
involved sometimes that's
00:20:55.63\00:20:57.46
not possible,
although an extended family...
00:20:57.49\00:20:59.56
But what kind of things can a
community do or a family that's
00:20:59.60\00:21:03.79
not involved do to
support someone that's gone
00:21:03.83\00:21:06.80
through abuse?
00:21:06.84\00:21:07.97
I think community is very
important and as community
00:21:08.00\00:21:10.52
I think we need to
be not be judgmental.
00:21:10.56\00:21:13.85
We shouldn't look at the person
and start saying, "Well, it's
00:21:13.89\00:21:17.67
probably because of how they
were or their bad behavior or
00:21:17.71\00:21:21.46
different things
they have been through. "
00:21:21.50\00:21:24.38
Blame the person who's abused
for their abuse is not good.
00:21:24.41\00:21:28.17
Is what you're saying?
00:21:28.20\00:21:29.17
Yes, yes.
00:21:29.18\00:21:30.75
We have to be very, as a
community and as Christian
00:21:30.79\00:21:34.77
people, we need to be very
supportive of the people who
00:21:34.80\00:21:38.75
have been through
difficult situations.
00:21:38.78\00:21:41.01
We need to understand
where they're coming from.
00:21:41.05\00:21:44.07
Sometime they can be upset
with us when we're trying to
00:21:44.10\00:21:47.54
help them.
00:21:47.58\00:21:48.55
They might be rude to us.
00:21:48.59\00:21:50.08
They might be like, "Ok,
why are you trying to do this,
00:21:50.11\00:21:52.38
I don't need your help. "
00:21:52.41\00:21:53.38
I think we as Christians
need to understand that.
00:21:53.39\00:21:56.17
We need to be supportive
no matter what response we get
00:21:56.21\00:21:59.70
from that person.
00:21:59.73\00:22:00.73
Because once a person
starts seeing that you are
00:22:00.77\00:22:04.47
understanding of them
even though they were mean
00:22:04.50\00:22:08.40
or rude or abrupt
with you that builds trust.
00:22:08.44\00:22:12.27
That builds trust and
then probably they are able to
00:22:12.30\00:22:15.86
open up more to you and
get the help that they need.
00:22:15.90\00:22:19.66
So being supportive, being
understanding no matter how
00:22:19.70\00:22:23.42
the person reacts to
you is very important.
00:22:23.46\00:22:26.49
So a listening ear from an
authority figure because their
00:22:26.52\00:22:29.55
authority figures has been
abusing them and they need to
00:22:29.59\00:22:33.14
have them re-established a
confidence in a person that's in
00:22:33.18\00:22:36.70
a position of authority.
00:22:36.73\00:22:38.66
Sometimes we
just need to listen.
00:22:38.70\00:22:42.22
We just need to not say much
and just be there and listen.
00:22:42.25\00:22:46.89
That is also very important.
00:22:46.93\00:22:48.58
What
specifically should we avoid?
00:22:48.61\00:22:49.64
What are the taboos?
00:22:49.68\00:22:50.76
You said judgmentalism and
some of these other things.
00:22:50.79\00:22:53.97
but are there any
other things to avoid?
00:22:54.01\00:22:56.59
Jumping to conclusions where
you think that this person is
00:22:56.62\00:23:03.10
not saying the truth because of
how they are, because of their
00:23:03.13\00:23:06.43
history of lying so they're
probably not saying the truth.
00:23:06.46\00:23:09.39
You know you don't know that.
00:23:09.43\00:23:11.16
You need to make sure.
00:23:11.19\00:23:13.88
You need to get the right
kind of help so that people will
00:23:13.92\00:23:17.21
investigate of what's going on.
00:23:17.24\00:23:18.93
Ok, for the person that's been
abused 5, 7, 8, 10, 12 year old
00:23:18.96\00:23:23.68
whatever, is there hope?
00:23:23.71\00:23:26.01
Absolutely.
00:23:26.05\00:23:27.42
You talk about getting
help but what's the hope?
00:23:27.45\00:23:29.36
Once again there is hope.
00:23:29.39\00:23:31.48
Once you talk with somebody
or the right professional,
00:23:31.52\00:23:36.16
or another clergy, or whoever,
you need to realize that it was
00:23:36.20\00:23:40.69
not your fault, it was not their
fault of what has happened.
00:23:40.73\00:23:45.47
So once the people are able
to realize that it was not their
00:23:45.50\00:23:48.62
fault and they don't need
to be dealing with all that
00:23:48.66\00:23:51.31
guilt, resentment and hurt,
so that opens up a whole new
00:23:51.34\00:23:56.79
ways of healing.
00:23:56.83\00:23:59.02
Once you are able to do that
for yourself, once you're able
00:23:59.06\00:24:03.44
to forgive yourself AND the
person that has done that to you
00:24:03.48\00:24:07.83
that just is such a
huge healing process.
00:24:07.87\00:24:11.53
As a psychiatrist
you're telling me that
00:24:11.57\00:24:15.20
forgiveness is important.
00:24:15.24\00:24:17.02
Yes, forgiveness
is very important.
00:24:17.06\00:24:20.09
If you don't forgive it breeds
a lot of hatred, resentment,
00:24:20.12\00:24:23.89
anger, and anger
turned inward is depression.
00:24:23.92\00:24:29.51
And then you turn that
all inside and then you get
00:24:29.55\00:24:32.51
depressed and you
suffer worst consequences.
00:24:32.54\00:24:36.81
You suffer some consequences
of all that build up inside -
00:24:36.85\00:24:42.78
hurt and guilt and anger.
00:24:42.81\00:24:44.15
Whereas if you are able to free
that and forgive that person
00:24:44.19\00:24:49.56
who has done that to you,
you find a new hope which is
00:24:49.60\00:24:53.60
indescribable.
00:24:53.63\00:24:55.89
You find that new hope, that
new reassurance that you can
00:24:55.92\00:25:00.29
go on with your life.
00:25:00.32\00:25:01.41
You can go on to have families,
to have kids and be supportive
00:25:01.45\00:25:05.00
of them rather than abuse
another person like you've
00:25:05.04\00:25:08.75
been abused.
00:25:08.78\00:25:10.49
So you can be able to do
that once you forgive someone
00:25:10.53\00:25:14.29
who has done that to you.
00:25:14.32\00:25:15.29
Now you've talked about
some exciting studies as well.
00:25:15.30\00:25:19.39
I want you to talk about those.
00:25:19.43\00:25:20.96
But first, two things
I want you to talk about:
00:25:20.99\00:25:22.90
1. Setting boundaries with
the person that has abused you.
00:25:22.93\00:25:26.81
2. Resilience - the
good news about resilience.
00:25:26.85\00:25:31.68
I think it's very important.
00:25:31.72\00:25:34.18
I think a person who is abused
is usually afraid of you going
00:25:34.22\00:25:39.16
and telling authorities thinking
that they will get in some
00:25:39.19\00:25:41.94
kind of trouble and it will
become worse because if this
00:25:41.98\00:25:45.83
is coming from your
own parent, let's say.
00:25:45.87\00:25:47.97
I think that it is important
that a person that is being
00:25:48.00\00:25:52.18
abused realizes that, that
it is important to do that.
00:25:52.22\00:25:56.32
If you don't do that then you're
not going to be able to get out
00:25:56.36\00:26:00.09
of that situation.
00:26:00.13\00:26:01.10
The boundaries are not
necessarily set by you,
00:26:01.11\00:26:03.86
I'm not saying that.
00:26:03.89\00:26:04.86
You turn them in and the
people that are professionals
00:26:04.87\00:26:06.98
will set the boundaries.
00:26:07.01\00:26:08.06
Sometimes they put people
away, sometime they do this...
00:26:08.09\00:26:10.51
but being comfortable
with the fact that there
00:26:10.54\00:26:12.67
needs to be boundaries set.
00:26:12.70\00:26:13.67
Absolutely.
00:26:13.68\00:26:14.72
Sometimes children who are being
abused need to realize that
00:26:14.75\00:26:17.89
maybe if it's going on in the
family and maybe if the other
00:26:17.92\00:26:21.44
parent is not going to
be supportive that there are
00:26:21.47\00:26:23.99
foster homes, there are group
homes where the child is taken
00:26:24.03\00:26:26.97
out for a period of time
and kept in a safe environment
00:26:27.01\00:26:30.44
so that the abuse
will not continue.
00:26:30.48\00:26:32.15
Resilience - quickly,
what's the hopeful news about
00:26:32.19\00:26:36.70
resilience studies?
00:26:36.73\00:26:38.18
Being knowledgeable
about what has happened to you
00:26:38.22\00:26:42.24
and that it shouldn't
have happened and being able to
00:26:42.28\00:26:46.27
realize that.
00:26:46.30\00:26:47.27
Being able to forgive the person
is very important and this
00:26:47.28\00:26:52.15
brings resilience in a person.
00:26:52.18\00:26:53.92
So the forgiveness is key?
00:26:53.95\00:26:55.66
Absolutely.
00:26:55.69\00:26:56.66
It is very freeing.
00:26:56.67\00:26:58.49
It frees you from the hatred,
the guilt, the anger that you
00:26:58.53\00:27:03.47
have against this person.
00:27:03.50\00:27:05.02
It not only getting help for
yourself and forgiving yourself
00:27:05.05\00:27:09.73
but forgiving the person
brings out a whole new area
00:27:09.76\00:27:14.14
where you feel very
freed and very positive
00:27:14.17\00:27:17.14
and are able to move
on with your regular life.
00:27:17.17\00:27:20.31
We've been
talking with Dr. Borge.
00:27:20.34\00:27:23.64
She's a psychiatrist.
00:27:23.67\00:27:24.68
Thank you so
much for joining us.
00:27:24.71\00:27:26.76
I want to close today with a
Bible thought and it's found in
00:27:26.79\00:27:30.98
Ezekiel 18.
00:27:31.01\00:27:32.29
It talks about someone
who's gone through a traumatic
00:27:32.32\00:27:34.55
situation and it says
this, "He sees all the sins that
00:27:34.58\00:27:37.30
his father has done
and considers them but does
00:27:37.33\00:27:40.91
not do likewise. "
00:27:40.94\00:27:42.62
We hope that if you've been
through a traumatic situation
00:27:42.65\00:27:45.24
you be able to
consider it and understand it.
00:27:45.27\00:27:48.84
But by God's grace, through
His power, through the right
00:27:48.87\00:27:51.92
help you don't
have to do likewise.
00:27:51.95\00:27:54.07
May God bless you today.
00:27:54.10\00:27:56.88