Hello and welcome to
"Health for a Lifetime"
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I'm your host Don Mackintosh
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We're glad you're with us today.
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Today we're going to
be talking about stress.
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It's something
that affects most of us,
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either in a positive
way or a negative way.
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And talking with us
today, we have Dr. Skip MacCarty
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And you've been doing a
lot of research on stress.
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You are one of the
members of the American College,
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I guess, a fellow of the
"American Institute of Stress"
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You've given major presentations
for that organization,
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and your "Stress
Beyond Coping Seminar" is now
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being used in many communities
and is endorsed by the
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General Conference of
Seventh-day Adventists
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We're going to be
covering part of that seminar.
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I've been impressed with it;
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we won't be able to cover
everything in the seminar.
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I know that people can get
in touch with that material
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by either calling the General
Conference or here at 3ABN.
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But today, we're going to
be focusing on what you call
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in your seminar,
"life management and how
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it relates to stress management"
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So that's a big thing...
we can't cover everyone's
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whole life here today,
but give us an overview
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of stress as you see it.
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You have that organizational
paradigm - the stress tank,
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and some keys that
you have discovered.
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And then, let's talk
about this life management.
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Don, the "stress tank"
is simply an invitation to
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view your life as a
tank, and you have stresses
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being poured into your
life throughout the day,
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and if you get too much and
it reaches the overflow point,
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the point of overload,
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then various kinds of harm,
you're harder to get along with,
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irritable, it puts a
strain in relationships,
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it can cause
illness and disease.
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...60 to 90% of people who go
to a physician for some kind of
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health problem - it's
estimated now are stress-related
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problems - illnesses
and accident proneness -
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persons more prone to be
in an accident if they are
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under a lot of stress.
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Fortunately, there's a pressure
relief valve on the tank
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that can drain stress
to safe levels and prevent
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the buildup to
the harmful point.
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There are ways we can
close the pressure relief valve
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thinking we're
helping ourselves.
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Six out of the 10 reasons
why people who continue to smoke
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do continue to smoke
are stress-related reasons,
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and #1 reason is to
help them handle stress...
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And yet it boomerangs, it
actually creates more stress.
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social stress,
physical stress, etcetera.
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There are 7 keys that
open the pressure relief valve.
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These are the keys
to managing stress...
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And then this last one
here in this acronym at least,
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"Time management
and organization"
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I assume that's where
life management comes in.
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That's where it fits in -
in the organizational element.
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We've already talked
about time management.
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We had a program
on time management;
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now, we're talking
about organization.
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It's life management
- really is what it is.
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Okay, so then in
the overall scheme of
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stress management,
where would this fall?
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Okay, in the stress
pyramid that I've developed,
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it's one of the 4th
foundational elements.
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So you can see, we've
put it quite high in the
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4 foundational
elements there at the bottom...
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And the real power
elements of stress management
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are the top 3, but
this is still VERY important
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in time management
organization, life management...
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And life management in
some ways, it's kind of a
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catch-all of a lot of different
things going on in our lives...
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It's not as specifically
focused as just time management
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or just exercise,
but it involves a lot of
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different elements.
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So then how does life management
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relate to stress management?
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Well, good organization
in life management, Don,
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#1- It helps put us more
in control of our situation.
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And the control is
such an important concept
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in stress management.
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When people lose
control, they are under stress.
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When they FEEL like they've
lost control of their lives,
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they're under stress.
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When you take someone
who has been independent,
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and you put them
in a nursing home...
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Ooo - that's big. It's very big
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They lose control of
every element of their life.
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They don't even choose,
in many cases, what they wear
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and it's chosen for them...
What they eat, when to get up...
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That's kind of
taking it to an extreme...
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But life management, it's just
trying to get control over the
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various elements of our
life and be MORE in control
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of our lives in that respect.
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Okay so, anything
else besides control,
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I mean, taking away
control that you once had,
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but what else does
life management do?
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The second point is that
it can help prevent distress
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from just by controlling some
of the environment around us.
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That guy does look
a little overloaded...
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Part of our environment that
we do have some control over...
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Yes, he looks a bit
out of control there... yes
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We're trying to help
him get in more control.
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Give you more control and help
you not look like that guy...
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Help prevent the
stress. Yeah and just to control
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some of the elements of
the environment around you.
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All right, so lack of
control, in other words,
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out of control
or losing control.
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What else is
involved in life management?
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What's really
ultimately involved,
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and what's the bottom line?
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Well, basically it's
getting control of your life,
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and trying to arrange
things in your environment...
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It's to keep you from
reaching the overload.
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There are certain things we
can do - decisions we can make
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to keep our stress tank from
filling to the overload point.
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We don't have control
over a lot of things that
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go on in our lives,
but there is plenty that we
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do have control over and
it's managing to focus on the
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elements we do have
control over like the
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Serenity Prayer suggested...
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Grant me the serenity,
Lord, to accept the things
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I cannot change and
be at peace about them...
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And then to change
the things that I can...
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It's those things that we
can, we do have control over.
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It's really focusing on those
things and gaining control,
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and trying to line
them up so they're not
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stress-producing in our
lives as much as possible.
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What about this, you
know we have a problem with
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information overload.
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Many times you just get
SO much stuff coming in,
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what do you do?
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What does life
management teach us about that?
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Well first of all, I'd like to
back just a little bit from that
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and say that the first point
I'd recommend in light of this
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life management area,
is that we start our days
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slower and
earlier because we lose...
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Many people, if
you get up in the day,
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if it takes you 45
minutes to get ready, to get up
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and quickly get ready for
work and get out the door,
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would recommend
you give yourself -
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try to back that
up in 1/2 an hour,
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and give yourself 1-1/2 hours.
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Give yourself a
little bit of leeway in there
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so you're not so
hurried, you're not so rushed.
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That sets a
different tone for the day.
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Now you can't do it simply
by setting your alarm clock
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1/2 hour earlier
- that doesn't work
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because then you're irritable,
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you haven't got enough sleep
as it is and this is even worse.
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It means
managing the night before;
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trying to get to bed a little
bit earlier the night before.
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You can't do it in a big - like
move it an hour or 2 earlier
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That doesn't work either.
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But just moving it
little by little in increments
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until you give yourself
extra time in the morning.
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Wake up with an alarm clock
- that's what we recommend.
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Set your alarm as a
failsafe but wake up without an
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alarm clock but just wake up
earlier than you ordinarily do
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so you give
yourself plenty of time...
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Any little
emergency come up, it's okay,
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you give yourself
some leeway and it sets a
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different tone for the day,
it's the only way to re-set it.
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That's no alarm
clock - if you can help it.
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Yes, that's one of the
other principles of the
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rest and relaxation
for stress is try to get
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enough sleep at
night so you don't have
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to have that alarm
clock to wake you up.
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You can still set the
alarm clock as a failsafe,
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but if you want to wake
up before the alarm goes off.
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Okay, we're going to come to
this information overload thing,
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and I hope you help me with
that... Yes, that very important
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What about it?
Information overload is
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requiring us to make decisions.
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Junk mail - The amount of
junk mail we get these days...
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If a person opens all
the mail that they get,
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those advertisers, the
marketers design those products,
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and design those ad
pieces so that you have to
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make some kind of decision.
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So we're really - just
adding to all the decisions
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we already have
to make in the day.
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You take
television advertisements,
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that's an amazing amount of
stuff that we have as well...
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So you're saying here,
don't even open the junk mail?
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Don't even open it - a
lot of it you don't even have
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to open the junk mail.
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Turn the radio off...
Turn the radio off one way
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at least one way - on the
way to work or getting home
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from work - turn the
radio off because, again,
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that's information - it
can be information overload,
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but let me tell you
what's happening when the
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radio is on all the
time... is we learn to tune out
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the human voice.
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You've got the
radio on, it's just noise.
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You listen to it for a
while, then after a while,
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you're off thinking something
else, but the guys keep talking
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and you're not
listening anymore.
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So what happens is...
somebody close to you,
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you go home, your wife
talks to you and you're not even
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listening, you're training
yourself on the way home
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to tune out the human voice.
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Maybe you listened for just
a little bit and then "bang"
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your mind is off -
just like with the radio.
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We recommend turning it off.
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If you're not listening
to something, turn it off.
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And TV commercials,
if you're watching TV,
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and it has commercials,
mute the commercials,
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not on 3ABN because
that's valuable information.
00:10:36.74\00:10:39.80
That's very
politically correct to say that.
00:10:39.83\00:10:42.93
So what do you do
with your junk mail?
00:10:42.96\00:10:45.12
See if I'm doing
the right thing...
00:10:45.15\00:10:46.74
I have this big box
where I put all mail in that I
00:10:46.77\00:10:49.44
don't want to open until
later and I put it all in there,
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and then I open it when I
don't have anything else to do.
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That's fine... you
might even eventually decide,
00:10:57.72\00:11:02.61
is some of that not
even worth that kind of time
00:11:02.64\00:11:05.48
because maybe
there's something else,
00:11:05.51\00:11:06.62
a book you'd rather read or
something else that would be
00:11:06.65\00:11:08.86
even more valuable, but
it's up to you how you do that
00:11:08.89\00:11:12.50
Questionable junk
mail I put in this box.
00:11:12.53\00:11:15.25
The other junk mail I put
it right in the fireplace.
00:11:15.28\00:11:18.55
Yes, right... I hate to say that
00:11:18.58\00:11:20.91
No junk mail... But
that's not a bad place
00:11:20.94\00:11:23.08
for it or recycle...
00:11:23.11\00:11:24.50
I have a recycle bin
and I recycle that stuff.
00:11:24.53\00:11:28.53
Okay, so after we get a
handle on it through getting
00:11:28.56\00:11:32.04
rid of the junk mail,
not listening to the radio
00:11:32.07\00:11:35.71
both ways and these other
things you've talked about,
00:11:35.74\00:11:38.06
what's the next step?
00:11:38.09\00:11:40.07
I mean, there seems to
be so many things that are
00:11:40.10\00:11:41.73
required of us today to
do, I mean, just basically
00:11:41.76\00:11:44.73
LIFE seems to be
more complicated -
00:11:44.76\00:11:46.94
or am I missing
something? What should we don?
00:11:46.97\00:11:48.91
I think we're all feeling
the same crunch on that, Don,
00:11:48.94\00:11:52.99
and the next thing on
my list that I recommend is
00:11:53.02\00:11:56.47
that we regulate the
amount and the intensity of
00:11:56.50\00:11:59.58
activities that
we're involved in.
00:11:59.61\00:12:01.27
I like the statement that
was made by Dr. Meyer Friedman.
00:12:01.30\00:12:04.74
He was one of the
researchers that discovered
00:12:04.77\00:12:09.29
the type A - type B
personality and wrote that
00:12:09.32\00:12:11.86
and put that
before us, and he said...
00:12:11.89\00:12:14.57
And what got him to that
point of doing that, Don,
00:12:32.65\00:12:37.16
was that when he
was 40 years old, he had
00:12:37.19\00:12:39.21
his first heart
attack; a cardiologist,
00:12:39.24\00:12:40.68
a very successful
cardiologist in San Francisco.
00:12:40.71\00:12:43.85
He had his first
heart attack at age 40.
00:12:43.88\00:12:46.26
He began to re-think his
life and reevaluate his life,
00:12:46.29\00:12:49.69
and then he came up
with this 5-year test...
00:12:49.72\00:12:51.88
And he says, you put things
in perspective when you do that.
00:12:51.91\00:12:54.56
Is it really going to matter?
00:12:54.59\00:12:58.35
What he did - he just
slowed down the amount of
00:12:58.38\00:13:01.08
things happening in his
life and began to regulate
00:13:01.11\00:13:04.84
his life and his situation more.
00:13:04.87\00:13:05.92
So the question
practically again is to say,
00:13:05.95\00:13:07.72
"Hey look, whatever is
being asked of me to do,
00:13:07.75\00:13:10.27
is it going to
really MATTER in 5 years?"
00:13:10.30\00:13:13.55
And again, I think the
other thing you talked about
00:13:13.58\00:13:16.54
one of the other keys was
this time management principle
00:13:16.57\00:13:19.41
where you were looking
at things and prioritizing
00:13:19.44\00:13:23.37
what you wanted to
do today and in 5 years,
00:13:23.40\00:13:25.79
and then this and that -
Maybe you're going to cover
00:13:25.82\00:13:27.42
a little bit of that today.
00:13:27.45\00:13:28.48
Focus on the things that are the
00:13:28.51\00:13:29.74
most important - that's correct.
00:13:29.77\00:13:30.98
Okay, so once you've done
that, I'm sure there are other
00:13:31.01\00:13:35.73
steps and things that you
will cover and I'm starting to
00:13:35.76\00:13:39.37
get an idea of what this means.
00:13:39.40\00:13:40.57
It's a pretty broad
topic - life management,
00:13:40.60\00:13:42.86
but these are
very practical things.
00:13:42.89\00:13:44.36
We've been talking
with Dr. Skip MacCarty
00:13:44.39\00:13:46.34
We've been talking
about time management,
00:13:46.37\00:13:48.26
and actually a life management
as it relates to stress,
00:13:48.29\00:13:52.59
how you can reduce your stress
if you get a handle on this.
00:13:52.62\00:13:55.98
Join us when we come
back, we'll talk more about it.
00:13:56.01\00:13:58.85
Have you found yourself wishing
00:14:04.19\00:14:05.40
that you could
shed a few pounds?
00:14:05.43\00:14:07.10
Have you been on a
diet for most of your life,
00:14:07.13\00:14:09.51
but not found anything that
will really keep the weight off?
00:14:09.54\00:14:12.44
If you've answered "yes"
to any of these questions,
00:14:12.47\00:14:15.24
then we have a
solution for you that works!
00:14:15.27\00:14:18.14
Dr. Hans Diehl and
Dr. Aileen Ludington
00:14:18.17\00:14:21.01
have written a
marvelous booklet called...
00:14:21.04\00:14:23.04
"Reversing Obesity Naturally"
00:14:23.07\00:14:25.27
and we'd like to send
it to you FREE of charge.
00:14:25.30\00:14:28.02
Here's a medically sound
approach successfully used by
00:14:28.05\00:14:30.93
thousands who were able
to eat more and lose weight
00:14:30.96\00:14:33.95
permanently without
feeling guilty or hungry
00:14:33.98\00:14:36.84
through lifestyle medicine.
00:14:36.87\00:14:38.38
Dr. Diehl and Dr. Ludington
have been featured on 3ABN
00:14:38.41\00:14:42.09
and in this booklet
they present a sensible
00:14:42.12\00:14:44.57
approach to eating,
nutrition and lifestyle changes
00:14:44.60\00:14:47.68
that can help you
prevent heart disease, diabetes
00:14:47.71\00:14:50.07
and even cancer.
00:14:50.10\00:14:51.55
Call or write today
for your free copy of...
00:14:51.58\00:14:53.63
"Reversing Obesity Naturally"
00:14:53.66\00:14:55.37
and you could be on your
way to a healthier happier YOU!
00:14:55.40\00:14:58.60
It's ABSOLUTELY free of
charge so call or write today.
00:14:58.63\00:15:03.49
Welcome back, we've
been talking about stress
00:15:06.75\00:15:08.59
and stress
management - what you can do to
00:15:08.62\00:15:10.78
alleviate stress in your life.
00:15:10.81\00:15:12.48
The thing we've been talking
about today with Dr. MacCarty
00:15:12.51\00:15:15.20
is LIFE MANAGEMENT and
what we've talked about is that
00:15:15.23\00:15:19.42
if we just take an
overall look at our life,
00:15:19.45\00:15:22.06
and we get started
early in the morning,
00:15:22.09\00:15:23.90
we slow things down and we
really take a steady look at
00:15:23.93\00:15:27.96
things, we really can
have a more positive outlook
00:15:27.99\00:15:30.94
and we can have less stress...
00:15:30.97\00:15:32.28
At least some stress is
good but unhealthy stress...
00:15:32.31\00:15:36.09
Is there anything
else that's involved?
00:15:36.12\00:15:38.93
Anything else you'd
like to add to that?
00:15:38.96\00:15:41.32
Well, another thing
that we don't often think of
00:15:41.35\00:15:43.72
specifically as a major stressor
of life and it may not be,
00:15:43.75\00:15:47.04
but it's another point
and that is avoiding clutter.
00:15:47.07\00:15:50.96
AVOIDING
CLUTTER... Avoiding clutter..
00:15:50.99\00:15:53.49
When you get in a car every
day that's cluttered with stuff;
00:15:53.52\00:15:56.16
go home every day and the main
00:15:56.19\00:15:58.52
rooms you live in
are cluttered with stuff,
00:15:58.56\00:16:01.94
just avoiding
clutter is very important.
00:16:01.98\00:16:04.33
So start your day slower,
limit the number of decisions
00:16:04.36\00:16:06.90
required through
getting rid of the junk mail
00:16:06.93\00:16:08.74
and telemarketers and
whatnot, and regulate the amount
00:16:08.77\00:16:12.81
and intensity of activities
as well as avoiding CLUTTER!
00:16:12.84\00:16:15.87
My wife and I, since
she's a professional too,
00:16:16.74\00:16:19.64
and she works full-time, we
kind of share the housework,
00:16:19.67\00:16:24.04
and we even have to, at
times, have had somebody come in
00:16:24.07\00:16:26.56
and help us with that
because we just get so busy
00:16:26.59\00:16:29.00
with our work.
00:16:29.03\00:16:30.21
But we went together to kind
of a housework seminar one time
00:16:30.24\00:16:36.11
by a professional and this
person was a real professional.
00:16:36.14\00:16:39.55
It was fun to watch
them... It sounds like a very
00:16:39.58\00:16:40.94
exciting seminar -
a housework seminar!
00:16:40.97\00:16:42.83
It was only a half a
day... she was great!
00:16:42.86\00:16:46.38
It was a passion
for her doing housework,
00:16:46.41\00:16:49.43
and so she had all
these different tips.
00:16:49.46\00:16:50.98
But one of the things she
said that stuck with me...
00:16:51.01\00:16:53.57
Has influenced me
from that point on...
00:16:53.60\00:16:55.75
Every room in our house,
our car, cluttered places
00:16:55.78\00:17:00.63
or most of them are 5
minutes from being clutter-free.
00:17:00.66\00:17:04.78
...5 minutes from clutter...
00:17:04.81\00:17:06.45
Now not 5
minutes from being clean,
00:17:06.48\00:17:09.17
like my wife
considers cleanliness,
00:17:09.20\00:17:11.18
maybe clean like
I might accept it,
00:17:11.21\00:17:14.83
but being from clutter-free
00:17:14.86\00:17:16.53
from stuff just
laying all around.
00:17:16.56\00:17:18.08
You can go through
quite quickly in a room
00:17:18.11\00:17:20.01
that's really cluttered and
it IS stressful for most people
00:17:20.04\00:17:23.94
to be in cluttered
areas all the time.
00:17:23.97\00:17:25.92
Especially at night when
you trip over that stuff...
00:17:25.95\00:17:27.93
You know, the
average executive's desk
00:17:27.96\00:17:31.36
has 36 hours of
work sitting on the desk.
00:17:31.39\00:17:35.06
At times, mine has been
known to have more than that!
00:17:35.09\00:17:38.79
And the best time
management experts say it's best
00:17:38.82\00:17:44.01
to have a clutter-free desk.
00:17:44.04\00:17:45.71
To take that stuff and
put it in another drawer,
00:17:45.74\00:17:49.31
so it kind of sits out of
sight and then prioritize it
00:17:49.34\00:17:52.93
if you can so that you can
start working off the top of it,
00:17:52.96\00:17:55.53
but only have the
thing on your desk
00:17:55.56\00:17:57.17
that you're working on -
one thing at a time on your desk
00:17:57.20\00:18:00.04
Now, you know, I try to do that;
most of the time I'm not there,
00:18:00.07\00:18:04.89
but I know the
goal and you know what,
00:18:04.92\00:18:07.37
I work better, I work
faster, it's a better feeling...
00:18:07.40\00:18:11.09
All the way around,
it's less stressful.
00:18:11.13\00:18:13.16
Less stressful to be in
a clutter-free environment.
00:18:13.20\00:18:15.93
And clutter-free is not clean,
but it's much less stressful.
00:18:15.96\00:18:21.21
I must confess to you
- that I think my office
00:18:21.24\00:18:22.78
is about 7 minutes away
from being clutter-free,
00:18:22.81\00:18:26.22
but I like the
point and I'm sure my wife
00:18:26.25\00:18:29.48
will like the point
too as she hears this.
00:18:29.51\00:18:31.78
Well moving from the
clutter-free environment
00:18:31.81\00:18:34.43
which is, of course,
good and it's a great thing,
00:18:34.46\00:18:37.31
and I do feel better too
when my desk is clutter-free...
00:18:37.34\00:18:40.27
What about so many global
things that are happening?
00:18:40.30\00:18:43.62
Now so many things seem to
be bombarding the individual
00:18:43.65\00:18:46.78
at least in the
affluent society of America,
00:18:46.81\00:18:50.30
what can we do to
get a handle on that?
00:18:50.33\00:18:51.82
Is there any way
we can manage that?
00:18:51.85\00:18:54.00
Don, we live in a world
in which living is change.
00:18:54.03\00:18:57.93
Life is changed today.
00:18:57.96\00:18:59.37
So many changes taking
place so fast in our lives.
00:18:59.41\00:19:03.39
And the experts again,
suggest that there's only a
00:19:03.42\00:19:07.42
certain amount of change that
we can handle at any one time
00:19:07.45\00:19:10.64
and then we actually, just
in the change perspective alone,
00:19:10.67\00:19:13.81
it's a whole
change theory of stress;
00:19:13.84\00:19:15.76
saying that stress
is primarily change,
00:19:15.79\00:19:18.40
and you get too much of
it and you're overloaded,
00:19:18.43\00:19:21.20
and you can literally
start to have health breakdowns
00:19:21.23\00:19:25.50
that adversely
affect your immune system.
00:19:25.98\00:19:27.84
There has been a scale that is
probably the most scientifically
00:19:27.87\00:19:37.10
validated instrument for
measuring the amount of stress
00:19:37.13\00:19:41.10
that we're under and it is what
is called the "change scale"
00:19:41.13\00:19:46.57
developed by Dr. Thomas
Holmes and Richard Rahe,
00:19:46.60\00:19:49.21
University of Washington
00:19:49.24\00:19:50.69
Thomas Holmes, I
believe, is deceased now,
00:19:50.72\00:19:53.65
and Richard Rahe is at
the University of Nevada,
00:19:53.68\00:19:55.79
at Reno at the present time.
00:19:55.82\00:19:58.12
But this is a
scale that took the
00:19:58.15\00:19:59.34
death of a spouse at 100 points.
00:19:59.37\00:20:01.28
It has 43 items on it
and all the way down to
00:20:01.31\00:20:05.38
Christmas being 12
points, traffic ticket being 11.
00:20:05.41\00:20:08.64
So even things that we think
are good are actually stressful
00:20:08.67\00:20:11.35
That's one of the things
we learned from that scale.
00:20:11.38\00:20:14.13
You can have up to,
like 300 points and not be
00:20:14.16\00:20:18.08
high stress - but you get over
300 points and your chances of
00:20:18.11\00:20:21.19
a major illness or accident in
the next 12 months are like 80%
00:20:21.22\00:20:27.26
And I've had people in
my seminars that have scored
00:20:27.29\00:20:30.66
500-600 points on those tests,
00:20:30.69\00:20:33.76
and they're
really in a danger zone.
00:20:33.79\00:20:35.74
Now it doesn't mean
that that means definitely
00:20:35.77\00:20:38.58
they're going to get serious
illness or be in an accident,
00:20:38.61\00:20:42.52
but it means they
need to be much more alert
00:20:42.55\00:20:44.60
and they need to be working
on some things in their lives
00:20:44.63\00:20:48.04
and one of the things,
some other stress principles
00:20:48.07\00:20:50.69
one of the things that
is highly recommended, Don,
00:20:50.72\00:20:53.40
is if you're in a
change time of life,
00:20:53.43\00:20:58.05
slow down the number
of changes in your life
00:20:58.08\00:21:02.00
as much as you're able to do.
00:21:02.03\00:21:04.01
In other words, when you
have all the stress going on,
00:21:04.04\00:21:07.39
it's not a good
time to get a new house
00:21:07.42\00:21:09.52
and move across town if
you have a whole bunch of
00:21:09.55\00:21:11.94
other things
happening. Exactly right!
00:21:11.97\00:21:16.21
For instance, if someone
is going through a divorce,
00:21:16.24\00:21:17.89
oftentimes, they'll
even leave a community...
00:21:17.92\00:21:20.72
Not a good thing to do...
Not a good thing to do because
00:21:20.75\00:21:24.11
they're upsetting
their social support system;
00:21:24.14\00:21:26.93
they've got to reestablish
themselves somewhere...
00:21:26.96\00:21:29.74
That means new shopping areas;
00:21:29.77\00:21:31.30
it means new physicians;
00:21:31.33\00:21:32.85
it means so many changes
taking place in their lives,
00:21:32.88\00:21:37.16
MAJOR things that they can
easily spike over 300 points
00:21:37.19\00:21:40.73
precipitated by that one
change and then they chose
00:21:40.76\00:21:44.50
to make other major
changes without thinking about
00:21:44.53\00:21:47.44
the consequences of that.
00:21:47.47\00:21:48.72
But we suggest people slow down.
00:21:48.75\00:21:50.54
The death of a spouse -
sometimes the surviving spouse
00:21:50.57\00:21:54.57
will move quite quickly.
00:21:54.60\00:21:55.82
We suggest SLOW that
down and spend some time
00:21:55.85\00:21:58.95
to get readjusted before you
00:21:58.98\00:22:00.20
make any other major
moves during that time.
00:22:00.23\00:22:02.55
Well what about our schedules?
00:22:02.58\00:22:03.69
Many times they stay so
packed with different things,
00:22:03.72\00:22:05.57
what can we do about that?
00:22:05.60\00:22:06.81
Well, as hard as it
seems, our recommendation is to
00:22:06.84\00:22:11.15
monitor their schedule
and and it so that it's not...
00:22:11.18\00:22:15.54
you know, regulate it so that
it doesn't get out of control,
00:22:15.57\00:22:18.04
and when it does, we just
put the most important things
00:22:18.07\00:22:20.96
at the top and do the
best we can with them,
00:22:20.99\00:22:23.97
and when you go to bed,
you have to go to bed with
00:22:24.00\00:22:25.48
peace in your heart knowing
you did the best you could
00:22:25.51\00:22:27.38
for the day and forget the rest
00:22:27.41\00:22:29.05
of it and just go
to bed with peace.
00:22:29.08\00:22:30.70
Finances?
00:22:30.73\00:22:31.87
Finances - a major
one, a major one today.
00:22:31.90\00:22:35.17
And I can tell you that
one of the greatest stressors,
00:22:35.20\00:22:40.37
my wife can tell you - is if I
even THINK I'm getting close to
00:22:40.40\00:22:44.65
being in debt, it overwhelms me.
00:22:44.68\00:22:47.87
It overwhelms
me, yeah it does...
00:22:47.90\00:22:49.82
And even though I
teach all this stuff,
00:22:49.85\00:22:51.83
you know, I just want to stay
as far away from the debt ditch
00:22:51.86\00:22:54.86
Avoid it like the plague.
00:22:54.89\00:22:56.05
Now, the interesting thing
is, I've got in front of me
00:22:56.08\00:22:58.41
right now, the August
27, 2001 issue of "Newsweek"
00:22:58.44\00:23:03.17
and the cover
article is "Maxed Out"
00:23:03.20\00:23:05.54
And it's talking about...
It says, "American consumers
00:23:05.57\00:23:08.56
are drowning in debt... How
to swim to financial security"
00:23:08.59\00:23:13.19
Do you know that the
American public today is
00:23:13.22\00:23:17.22
7.3 trillion dollars in
debt, 5 trillion of that is
00:23:17.26\00:23:24.26
mortgage debt but can
you imagine that half of the
00:23:24.30\00:23:31.27
mortgage debt is
in credit card debt.
00:23:31.31\00:23:33.79
What I mean by that is
half the amount of mortgage debt
00:23:33.83\00:23:40.35
is credit card debt.
00:23:40.38\00:23:41.94
It's almost all credit
card debt and card debt,
00:23:41.97\00:23:45.20
larger interest rates.
00:23:45.23\00:23:47.00
So many people are
having record bankruptcies
00:23:47.03\00:23:50.04
and so many people
are just drowning in debt,
00:23:50.07\00:23:53.85
and that is a GREAT stressor.
00:23:53.88\00:23:56.01
So what do we do about it?
00:23:56.04\00:23:57.13
Well, there are some
things that can be done.
00:23:57.16\00:24:02.88
The Bible says in Proverbs -
00:24:02.91\00:24:06.45
That's the truth! So
we know that the goal is
00:24:08.80\00:24:11.08
not to be in slavery
to a lender if possible.
00:24:11.11\00:24:15.63
Now the rules of
thumb for indebtedness is...
00:24:15.66\00:24:17.74
#1- Don't charge an
item that goes down in value.
00:24:17.77\00:24:21.97
Now that's not like a home - a
home is not a depreciating item.
00:24:22.00\00:24:25.68
A home is an
appreciating item. Hopefully...
00:24:25.71\00:24:28.74
Cars and a lot of things that
are purchased by credit cards
00:24:28.77\00:24:33.59
...most things that are
purchased by credit cards
00:24:33.62\00:24:37.20
depreciate in value.
00:24:37.23\00:24:39.18
And 60% of the
people that use credit cards
00:24:39.21\00:24:43.14
do not pay them off
at the end of the month.
00:24:43.17\00:24:44.73
Sixty percent?... 60% Amazing!
00:24:44.76\00:24:46.85
And secondly, don't borrow to
invest in speculative ventures.
00:24:46.88\00:24:50.40
I know it should go without
saying and the recommendations
00:24:50.43\00:24:55.04
by the finance experts
is, "Don't borrow money
00:24:55.07\00:24:58.45
to pay another debt. "
00:24:58.48\00:24:59.75
Even though you're
borrowing with less interest;
00:24:59.78\00:25:02.63
even though
you're consolidating -
00:25:02.66\00:25:05.24
because what
happens is generally people
00:25:05.27\00:25:07.90
like they'll
refinance their home at a
00:25:07.93\00:25:09.88
lower interest rate
in order to pay off debt,
00:25:09.91\00:25:11.88
but when they do
that, their credit cards -
00:25:11.91\00:25:14.67
they start putting up
their credit cards again,
00:25:14.70\00:25:19.28
charging on their credit cards,
00:25:19.31\00:25:20.63
so then they get
right back into debt again.
00:25:20.66\00:25:23.06
Now here are the 3 suggestions
for getting out of debt...
00:25:23.09\00:25:26.42
#1- Incur no new
debt... If you just make THAT
00:25:26.45\00:25:30.32
commitment - I will
incur no NEW debt, eventually
00:25:30.35\00:25:34.28
you'll get out of debt.
00:25:34.31\00:25:35.57
If you can make your payments,
even the minimum payments,
00:25:35.60\00:25:37.47
eventually
you'll get out of debt.
00:25:37.50\00:25:38.76
So just make that decision -
00:25:38.79\00:25:40.32
We're not going
to buy anything new;
00:25:40.35\00:25:41.77
we're not going to start
out on anything new. #1- Yep
00:25:41.80\00:25:44.27
#2- When you pay
off your smallest debt,
00:25:44.30\00:25:47.08
add that amount
toward the retirement of your
00:25:47.11\00:25:50.77
next smallest debt.
00:25:50.80\00:25:53.33
Now even though it may
not be as much interest
00:25:53.36\00:25:56.02
as another one,
what you want to do is
00:25:56.05\00:25:57.50
get a sense of momentum.
00:25:57.53\00:25:58.74
So you have one
credit card with $87 on it,
00:25:58.77\00:26:01.89
another one with $214 and
another one with $2,000 on it;
00:26:01.92\00:26:07.59
you pay off your smallest
one first and get it paid off
00:26:07.62\00:26:10.17
as fast as you can -
then take that payment
00:26:10.20\00:26:13.21
and turn it right over
and add that to the payment
00:26:13.24\00:26:15.20
you're making on your
200-and-something-odd-dollar one
00:26:15.23\00:26:17.04
When you get done with
that, add those 2 payments
00:26:17.07\00:26:19.83
additional to that larger
one and just keep doing that
00:26:19.86\00:26:23.30
until you get out of debt.
00:26:23.33\00:26:24.56
It may take several years,
but it's worth it to do it.
00:26:24.59\00:26:27.01
Then continue following those
2 steps until you're out of debt
00:26:27.04\00:26:29.92
What if you're
really deep in debt?
00:26:29.95\00:26:31.34
There's no other way than
to follow the same process,
00:26:31.37\00:26:34.62
but you may need to - if you're
so deep that you're facing
00:26:34.65\00:26:37.47
bankruptcy, you may
need to go to a counselor,
00:26:37.50\00:26:39.41
and consult a
financial counselor.
00:26:39.44\00:26:44.40
So these are very
practical things from clutter to
00:26:44.43\00:26:47.40
what you do with your
cash when it talks about
00:26:47.43\00:26:49.40
life management.
00:26:49.43\00:26:50.56
What one thing would you
like to leave with people
00:26:50.59\00:26:53.19
as they're looking over this
whole idea of life management?
00:26:53.22\00:26:55.65
Well Don, as
redundant as this may seem,
00:26:55.68\00:26:57.83
as often as I refer to this,
it's because it's so important
00:26:57.86\00:27:00.61
and that would be
the Serenity Prayer
00:27:00.64\00:27:03.59
Every day and my wife can
tell you how many situations
00:27:03.62\00:27:07.63
I say... How does this Serenity
Prayer apply to this situation?
00:27:07.66\00:27:12.53
And then we think it through.
00:27:12.56\00:27:14.44
What are the things
that we can do nothing about?
00:27:14.47\00:27:17.93
If we can identify those things,
00:27:17.96\00:27:20.00
then release them to God.
00:27:20.03\00:27:21.65
He can do something
about them - we can't.
00:27:21.68\00:27:23.88
So don't spend
any energy on them,
00:27:23.91\00:27:25.80
and then focus on the things
you can do something about.
00:27:25.83\00:27:29.18
It may be very small,
but focus on those things,
00:27:29.21\00:27:32.35
and work on those things.
00:27:32.38\00:27:33.90
Do the best you
can on those things,
00:27:33.93\00:27:35.26
and go to bed every
night with peace in your heart.
00:27:35.29\00:27:37.46
We've been talking
with Dr. Skip MacCarty.
00:27:37.49\00:27:40.56
We've been
talking about stress...
00:27:40.59\00:27:42.46
how we can get a handle on it.
00:27:42.49\00:27:43.90
We can have not negative
stress but positive stress
00:27:43.93\00:27:48.29
as we look at life management.
00:27:48.32\00:27:50.17
You can find out
more information about
00:27:50.20\00:27:52.41
Dr. MacCarty's seminar by
contacting us here at 3ABN.
00:27:52.44\00:27:56.55
Thanks for watching us today.
00:27:56.59\00:27:58.54