Participants: Mike Lemon (Host)
Series Code: HDL
Program Code: HDL000007
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00:39 Hello and welcome to Help In Daily Living.
00:40 Today we are going to talking about how to 00:42 get along with others. 00:44 The truth is that getting along with others 00:46 is sometimes very difficult. 00:47 We can always find someone who we don't get along with. 00:50 The way we see life, the way we judge, is not in all 00:54 respects the same. 00:56 If we are judging others, we should really leave that 00:58 work to God because the work of judging belongs to God. 01:02 Sometimes though we complain, we criticize, we compare 01:05 and we compete with one another. 01:07 So how do we get along with one another? 01:09 Before we get into this topic I am going to ask Zack to 01:12 lead us in a word of prayer. 01:14 Dearly Father, Lord, thank you so much for this day. 01:17 Thank you that we can be here to discuss 01:19 these topics together. 01:20 Lord I just pray as we talk about Your judgments, 01:23 not our own, that our hearts be opened and willing 01:25 to accept that sometimes Lord we are 01:27 too harsh to each other. 01:29 Help us to realize and to know that we can get along 01:32 with others and that it is Your will for us. 01:33 Come into our heart, in Your name. Amen! 01:38 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 01:41 When God built our world, He did not create it using any 01:45 method that an artist would use now. 01:47 Instead He spoke it into existence. 01:49 His words instantaneously produced His will. 01:52 During Jesus' ministry on this earth, He brought Lazarus 01:56 back from the dead with a simple command. 01:58 "Lazarus, come forth." 01:59 Throughout the entire Bible we find Christ creating just 02:03 by speaking and He has given us this power as well. 02:06 In Proverbs 18:21 it says, "death and life are in the 02:11 "power of the tongue". With our words we can create life 02:13 by pointing to Jesus, or we can have a negative influence 02:16 by speaking discouragingly. 02:18 Why not use your words to encourage and uplift others 02:21 as Jesus did? 02:24 If any little word of mine 02:28 may make a dark light brighter 02:33 if any little song mine 02:37 may make a sad heart lighter 02:43 God help me speak the helping word 02:47 and sweeten it with singing 02:53 and drop it in some lonely vale 02:58 to set the echoes ringing 03:03 if any little love of mine 03:09 may make a hard life sweeter 03:14 if any little care of mine 03:19 may make a friends love sweeter 03:25 God help me speak a helping word 03:30 and sweeten it with singing 03:35 and drop it in some lonely vale 03:40 To set the echoes ringing 03:46 if any little lift of mine 03:52 May ease a toiler bending; 03:57 God give me love and care and strength 04:03 we live for Him by lending 04:08 God help me speak the helping word 04:13 and sweeten it with singing 04:19 and drop it in some lonely vale 04:24 to set the echoes ringing 04:35 Sometimes the greatest thing that hinders our 04:37 relationships is the desire to compete with one another, 04:41 or compare with one another. 04:42 We look at ourselves and say I can't take it when someone 04:47 else is better than I am, or when someone else is kind of 04:51 they just don't do things the same way I do them. 04:56 How do you relate to that Brooke? 04:58 I've been a person that always has struggled with 05:01 competition, I grew up playing competitive sports and I spent 05:05 countless hours jogging and pushing myself so hard to 05:08 the point I was almost throwing up. 05:10 I'd be in the gym shooting baskets, and my head would be 05:13 spinning because I wanted to be the best. 05:14 I wanted to be the best because I wanted to win. 05:16 It is all that I strived for, so every time it come to 05:19 a game or something like that, if I ever saw someone that 05:22 was better than me it drove me even further and pushed 05:24 me harder and I would practice more and more. 05:27 I can think of this particular girl, every time I saw her 05:30 I would stand up straighter and try harder. 05:34 If she made a good shot I'd say whatever I could probably 05:36 do that, and it would drive me crazy. 05:38 Eventually it came to the point that God was speaking to 05:41 my heart, Brooke you can't handle this competition, 05:44 these long practice hours, these tournaments and games 05:47 is getting to you. 05:48 I would do lots and lots of prayer and study and 05:51 God showed me that I can't handle it. 05:54 I decided I was going to quit playing sports. 05:56 So I did, I quit. It was crazy because even after I quit 06:00 there were still opportunities for me to be competitive. 06:02 Even coming here to Fountain View, I will go jogging every 06:06 day and would catch myself running and running until 06:09 I couldn't even feel my legs. 06:10 I thought I was really working out and it came to the 06:14 point eventually that God had to like, make it so 06:17 I couldn't do anything basically. 06:18 I tore my meniscus in my right knee and I couldn't go jogging 06:21 at all. I was like, oh man, I love to jog but through 06:25 that experience God showed me there is a balance to be 06:28 found and that He does want me to do my best in all 06:31 things, but He doesn't want me to push myself so hard 06:33 that I hurt myself. 06:36 That as a Christian, the attitude of self-control, it has 06:41 taken me a long time to recognize, I need to learn that. 06:44 I praise God, because He has been helping me so 06:46 much, I haven't been able to go jogging, but God has 06:49 given me many other ways to exercise and do things where 06:52 I can still keep myself in tone. I praise God for that. 06:54 You know you said an important thing, you said that God 06:57 wants us to do our very best, and that's important. 07:01 So sometimes people have a hard time with that. 07:02 They say, but sometimes we can have friendly competition, 07:05 or healthy competition and that kind of motivates me 07:07 to do better, is there a way in which we can do that? 07:10 That kind of motivates us to do better, where we don't 07:13 have to be competing with one another? 07:15 Right, well I think when you see somebody like, for 07:17 example someone who really knows their Bible very well, 07:19 they can encourage you to want to study my Bible more. 07:22 I need to know it more, I think there is a balance to be 07:25 found, you know like the competition that I had was 07:27 coming straight from pride. 07:28 I would look at it like, I would be better than her. 07:30 There is a balance that can be found, you don't have to 07:34 have pride as reigning power in your heart. 07:36 I mean look at Satan, he wanted to be the best in heaven and 07:37 because of that he went from being in heaven to now 07:41 the king of this world. 07:42 We need to make sure that pride isn't the reigning power 07:44 behind our competition that we have. - right. 07:46 I mean the whole Bible is about people not being able to 07:50 get along with one another, right from the sons of Adam 07:54 and Eve, our perfect parents in paradise. 07:57 You are thinking, how did they not get along with each 08:00 other? Ended one brother killed another brother, so there was 08:04 competition there right from the beginning. 08:05 It doesn't look like friendly competition at all. 08:07 But yet you see Jesus, He did His very best. 08:10 What was it that motivated Him to His very best for us? 08:14 Love! - it was love, absolutely. 08:17 It wasn't pride, He wasn't competing against 08:19 someone else, it was out of love. 08:21 If we have love in our hearts, we can do our very best 08:24 and we can treat each other with dignity and kindness. 08:28 Yeah! - And that's really I think the heart of getting 08:30 along with one another, is having the love of Christ in 08:32 our hearts and being accepting of one another for our 08:36 differences and for our individual strengths as well. 08:44 My mother is someone who sacrifices everything 08:48 for her children's success. 08:49 Growing up she sacrificed so much in order to put me 08:52 and my sister through school and music lessons. 08:55 To be honest I hated those music lessons. 08:58 Yet she still had me take them. 09:00 I remember at one point she decided to become registered 09:03 as an American medical Doctor. 09:05 This was very lengthy and time-consuming process. 09:08 However, as time went on, she realized that 09:11 she was not spending quality time with her family. 09:14 So she decided to quit. She sacrificed her career, 09:18 money and comfort for her family. 09:20 She would often tell me, Moses God created you for 09:24 a purpose, and He has a great plan for your life. 09:27 Everything I do is for you, Moses. 09:29 Her dedication and sacrifices changed my life. 09:33 She looked beyond the present and had hope for the future 09:36 for me and my sister. 09:38 Christ gave up heaven and life itself for us. 09:42 He has promised to come again to bring us to a better 09:46 place, now I, just like my mother can look beyond 09:49 the present to the blessed hope. 09:52 It is because of Christ's sacrifice that 09:55 we have this blessed hope. 10:04 ¤ (musical Introduction of: I Saw One Weary) 10:11 I saw one weary, sad, and torn, 10:16 With eager steps press on the way, 10:20 Who long the hallowed cross had borne, 10:25 Still looking for the promised day; 10:31 While many a line of grief and care, 10:37 Upon His brow, was furrowed there; 10:41 I asked what buoyed His spirits up, 10:46 'O this! Said He "the Blessed hope.". 10:57 (Music playing) 11:11 And one I saw, with sword and shield, 11:15 Who boldly braved the world's cold frown, 11:19 And fought, unyielding, on the field, 11:24 To win an everlasting crown. 11:29 Though worn with toil, oppressed by foes, 11:35 No murmur from His heart arose; 11:40 I asked what buoyed His spirits up, 11:44 'O this! Said He "the Blessed hope.". 11:55 (Music Playing) 12:08 While pilgrims here we journey on 12:12 In this dark vale of sin and gloom, 12:17 Through tribulation, hate, and scorn, 12:22 Or through the portals of the tomb. 12:27 Till our returning King shall come 12:32 to take His exile captives home, 12:37 O! what can buoy the spirits up? 12:41 'Tis this! the Lord "the Blessed hope." 12:53 ¤ (Music Playing) 13:11 You know sometimes we can have really good relationships 13:14 with people and good friendships but what prevents that 13:18 is that we prejudge one another. 13:20 Sometimes we stereotype another person, we say, oh that 13:23 is that kind of person. 13:24 I could never get along with that kind of person and then 13:27 we stay away from them. 13:30 I think sometimes it is the devil that is behind it, 13:33 you know, it kind prevents us from getting close to 13:36 a person who could be a really good friend. 13:39 So by prejudging we prevent ourselves from having good 13:45 friendships with one another. 13:46 Allie, how do you relate to that? 13:50 Well I guess I'll just explain, is best explained by 13:55 having good friends with these two girls here. 13:57 Last year my junior year, there were a lot of new 14:00 girls in my class, two of them where Valerie and Victoria. 14:04 At the beginning of the year I didn't think I could be 14:06 friends with them, to me they just seemed both so smart 14:11 and they spoke so intelligently, and I don't. 14:14 Just felt kind of inferior, like I couldn't really be 14:19 friends with them. 14:20 But one night, somehow I ended up studying with Victoria 14:24 and I remember walking to her room and was really 14:27 worried that would say something stupid. 14:29 I was worried I would embarrass myself, I was walking 14:32 to her room and remember thinking this is dumb. 14:34 Smart people need friends too. (group laughing) 14:38 We ended up actually having a lot of fun together. 14:40 We connected really well, and it was really great. 14:43 So I found even though, that is what I thought originally, 14:47 but we were able to actually be friends, even though that 14:51 was not what I had expected. 14:52 You see Allie didn't have that view of us for no reason. 14:56 Back home I was used to being the smartest kid in the 14:59 class, so I guess that kind of came across to Allie. 15:02 I think Victoria was the same way at home. 15:05 When I came to Fountain View, I knew there would be 15:08 talent, but I guess I wasn't really prepared for all 15:11 the talent that I would face. 15:13 So I got here and all of a sudden my antenna went up. 15:15 I soon discovered who was on my level, so to speak. 15:19 And Victoria, - that was in violin right? 15:23 That was one of them, yes. - playing violin. 15:25 Yeah, playing the violin, and we were both really good 15:28 violinist and so I think some sort of mutual competition 15:32 sort of developed really early on. 15:34 It kind of prevented us from becoming close friends that year 15:37 Umhumm. Yeah you see when I came to Fountain View, 15:41 my senior year, I was thinking I'm a great violinist 15:45 I'll do fine placing in the orchestra and everything. 15:47 I did, Val became concert mistress and I sat right beside 15:51 her for most of the pieces. 15:53 I went on an Oregon Tour with everyone in the chorus too and 15:58 which was really cool since only a few musicians got to go. 16:00 But I guess it was really then, during that time, 16:04 I began to get really jealous of Val. 16:07 I guess I thought to myself, I'm a really good violinist 16:11 I'm sitting up here with her, and then I started to think, 16:13 I'm a better violinist then her, why am I not sitting in the 16:16 concert mistress seat? So I became really jealous. 16:20 Pride had definitely taken root in my heart. 16:22 Then she would tell me little things, like change the 16:27 bowing here, or play softer in this section, or do this 16:31 kind of stroke or something and I would just hate that. 16:34 I would resent it when she would tell me to correct 16:37 something, because I didn't like being corrected. 16:39 I just thought I knew better, yeah, 16:42 I thought I knew better. 16:44 So I guess I really got upset with her, and it 16:52 creeped into a lot of areas of life, this jealousy. 16:55 Val is really smart like Allie was saying earlier 16:58 and so we had kind of competi- tion there with schoolwork. 17:02 She would sometimes help me with my physics homework. 17:05 She is really good at that. 17:06 And musically, like we talked about, then Val was also 17:11 a very spiritual student and she is a leader at Fountain View 17:14 so I became jealous of her for that. 17:16 She also has lots of friends, and the list just seem to get 17:19 bigger of things that I could be jealous of her for. 17:21 So I just got so fed up, it was mostly an internal 17:25 struggle that I was having, but still I just felt like 17:29 I really needed to talk to her about this. 17:31 I thought to myself, it was kind of a battle between myself, 17:35 should I talk to her, should I not talk to her because 17:37 it really wasn't her fault and I knew that. 17:40 I knew it was my own struggle, but I still felt like 17:42 I needed to talk her. 17:44 So she came to my room one evening and I just started 17:47 telling her how I felt she was coming across to me, 17:49 and how I thought she was looking down her nose at me 17:51 because she thought she was so much better. 17:53 I guess I will let her tell you what she said. 17:58 Well when she asked to talk to me and I went and talked 18:02 to her, she told me about this struggle she'd be having. 18:05 I had no idea that she was struggling with this. 18:10 I realized that I hadn't been careful with what 18:14 I was doing with my acts and influence upon her. 18:18 Because I was ignorant of how she was feeling. 18:21 I thought it was leftover feelings from the year 18:26 before perhaps, I knew there was something wrong. 18:28 But I was really glad she told me, because I have 18:32 a struggle with pride as well. I told her that. 18:35 It kind of made a connection between the two of us. 18:38 Yeah, and I guess it helped to talk about it. 18:43 But I really, what I had to do was I had to take 18:45 my feelings to God and let my pride and jealousy and 18:49 competition, all these feelings I had to take them 18:51 to God, and just give them to Him. 18:53 Basically let Him take over I guess. 18:56 It wasn't an instant thing, you know just right as soon 19:00 as I told God all these problems that it went away. 19:03 That wasn't how it was, it was a gradual thing 19:06 and over time God had to just change my heart and 19:09 melt those feelings away. 19:11 But eventually He's given me peace in place of all those 19:16 strife, feelings of strife I had and Valerie and I are able to 19:22 be friends today because of that. - Well I got to be 19:27 friends with Victoria last year, but with Val I didn't 19:30 really get to be friends with her and tell halfway 19:34 through the school year at least. 19:35 We had gone to school events together and stuff but we never 19:38 really talked deeply. 19:40 To me she seem like one of those people that sits in 19:41 the room and memorizes pie for fun. 19:44 One time we were on school campus together and ended 19:50 up sharing a room. 19:51 One night during the weekend she came in and I was sitting 19:55 on my bed, and she said, don't you have any problems? 19:59 the time there were some things I was struggling with? 20:02 So I was thinking in my head, Honey let me tell you. 20:06 But I didn't, so we start talking and I found out 20:10 she was struggling with the same things I was. 20:11 It was really amazing and we connected and started sharing 20:15 with each other, I shared with her what a struggling with 20:18 and we were able to encourage each other actually, 20:21 help each other, and that really was the start 20:24 of a friendship deeply. 20:26 Throughout the rest of the year we started hanging out 20:28 more and praying with each other when one of us was feeling 20:31 down and we also started helping each other with our 20:33 schoolwork, our English assignments and found out 20:35 we think a lot alike in that way. 20:37 Our friendship just grew a lot and I think back like I never 20:43 would have expected to be friends with either one of 20:45 these girls, but if I hadn't withheld my judgment with Val 20:51 and Victoria, if I had just continued to think like 20:53 stereotyping them in my mind, I would never have been blessed 20:56 like I have been. 20:58 I wouldn't have been able to gain the blessing 21:00 spiritually that I have, and the encouragement that 21:03 they have been to me. 21:04 I just think that we need that in our relationships, 21:07 to withhold judgment, and to try to see people 21:10 as God sees them. 21:11 Praise the Lord, so the three of you are friends now? 21:14 Yeah. - it is a wonderful to see that, and you really 21:19 had to take time and trust that the other person wasn't 21:24 going to hurt you, and they weren't going to judge you 21:26 as you were judging them. 21:28 Things turned out completely opposite from what all 21:32 three of you had expected from the beginning. 21:34 Isn't that wonderful how God sees things completely different 21:38 and He can open our eyes, when we are prepared to be open 21:41 to one another, and He can enlarge our friendships so that 21:46 we can get along with one another. 21:49 Whenever I fail God, whenever I fall into a temptation 21:52 over and over, it usually happens just before I've told 21:56 Him I would never ever do it again. 21:57 I suddenly start to feel like a Jonah, like I'm fleeing 22:01 His still small voice and I am ashamed to talk 22:03 to Him that next day. 22:04 I run from His calling and totally ignored the promptings 22:07 of His Holy Spirit. 22:08 Have you ever felt this way? That you couldn't talk to 22:12 God because of your weaknesses? That there is no way 22:15 that He could forgive you for what you have done? 22:17 The book 'Help In Daily Living' says, "when we have sinned 22:21 "and we feel we cannot pray it is then the time 22:24 "time to pray. No matter how shameful, disgraced or 22:27 "humiliating we may feel in front of God, 22:29 "He still accepts us lovingly and tenderly." 22:32 "This gift of salvation is not something that can be 22:36 "obtained by mere wealth or wisdom or even achievement, 22:39 "rather when I take this step of faith, I experience 22:43 "His cleansing grace." In your life you will meet with 22:46 adversity, no doubt you will fail, but when you submit 22:50 yourself to Him with a contrary heart, a willing spirit, and a 22:53 patient forgiving character, God can and will make you 22:56 whiter than snow, if you will only ask Him. 23:05 ¤ (Music playing) 23:25 Lord Jesus, I long to be perfectly whole; 23:31 I want Thee forever to live in my soul; 23:38 Break down every idol, cast out every foe 23:46 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 23:55 Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow, 24:02 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 24:18 ¤ (Music Playing) 24:27 Lord Jesus, look down from Thy throne in the sky 24:35 And help me to make a complete sacrifice; 24:42 I give up myself, and whatever I know 24:50 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 25:02 ¤ (Music Playing) 25:08 My Lord Jesus, for this I most humbly entreat, 25:15 I wait, blessed Lord, at Thy crucified feet, 25:23 By faith for my cleansing, I see thy blood flow 25:31 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 25:40 Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow, 25:47 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 26:00 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow! 26:26 One of the lessons that I can take from my favorite Bible 26:28 character David, is the way he treated Saul. 26:31 Saul was actively trying to kill and take his life. 26:33 But David always treated him with kindness and 26:36 forbearance. That always blows my mind. 26:38 David's men would be saying, he's killing me fight back, 26:42 but he said, whom am I to raise my hand against the 26:44 Lord's anointed king? Right? 26:45 That hits me because, as everybody in our lives we just 26:50 meet people that we just clash, you just rub personalities. 26:53 I mean that happens quite frequently in the human walk. 26:56 For me, like you think about who are we to raise our hand 27:00 against the anointed of the Lord, against His people? 27:03 Who are we to speak bad about them? 27:05 Who are we to judge, and not give them the benefit of the 27:07 doubt. And that is freeing, right? 27:09 There is a strategy is to every time you think bad about 27:13 somebody, speak well of their character. 27:15 To point something good out, and for me that is the 27:18 last thing I want to do, that frustrates me so much. 27:20 Because you are in a mood where you are angry and 27:21 you don't even want to try to do that, but the Lord 27:24 has been really teaching me this year, this is important 27:26 and you can do it with Him. 27:27 It is hard though. It is real good strategy for how to get 27:31 along with others. Allie can you close with a word 27:34 of prayer for us? 27:35 Father God, You know how easy it is to just think the 27:39 worst of everyone, and I know I do that all the time. 27:41 I would like to ask that You would create in us a heart 27:44 full of sympathy and love for the ones we want to judge 27:47 and cut down. 27:48 Please help us to think well of them and speak well 27:51 of them and to remember that they are Your children 27:53 just as much as we are. 27:55 I just thank You that You don't judge us for what 27:59 we appear to be on the outside. In your name, Amen! 28:05 Help in Daily Living is a 13 part series from Fountain 28:08 View productions, designed to share the solid principles 28:12 of practical everyday Christianity. 28:14 It is a simple way to share the good news about the power 28:17 of the gospel with your friends, family, and coworkers. 28:21 Order your copies now by calling 1-877-490-4141. 28:27 Or visit us online at: www.fountainviewproductions.com 28:34 Help In Daily Living is also available at your local 28:37 ABC Christian bookstores. |
Revised 2014-12-17