Hello friends, grab
your Bible and a friend
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and sit back as
we explore God's word
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together on this
edition of House Calls.
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Welcome to another
House Calls program,
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I'm so glad that
you've chose into tune in
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where John and John
get together and we walk
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through the word of
God on one of the greatest
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journeys that man can ever take.
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So thank you, sit
back and enjoy and I'm not
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here by myself, I
have my good friend John.
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How are you doing John?
It's good to be here John
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once again
another program. You know,
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it's a, what's amazing
is that we are going on
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over five years
in House Calls. Wow!
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It's amazing. I
couldn't think of that,
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but that's doesn't.
You are on 6 almost,
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so it is amazing. That's
the blessing of the Lord.
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Praise the Lord; He
has done a lot of things
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through this, this,
this program. That's right,
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and today is no
exception we have a very
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exciting topic about
relationships, married,
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single into personal,
but we don't do anything
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without going into
God in prayer first,
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so John would you
have prayer for us?
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Let's do that.
Dear Father in heaven,
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you've been so
gracious to us and blessed us
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so much throughout
many years on this program
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and Lord, we ask again
that you would send your
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Holy Spirit to lead us
and guide us, to open our
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hearts to receive that
which you want to impart
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here today not only
to us who are teaching,
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but those who are
listening, who are
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following, along with
us? Father, we look forward
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to that incredible
blessing that you always
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give in Jesus name,
amen. Amen, well friends
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as you know, this
program is not complete without
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your Bible questions
and we wanna just say thank
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you for being so
faithful and sending questions.
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There are some of
you that send questions
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every week and
there are some of you that
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are just sending
them by snail mail still
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to the P.O Box 220,
we appreciate that also,
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but if you have any
Bible questions that you like
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us to answer or even
ask that others maybe
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thinking of here is the
information send those to
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housecalls@3ABN.org,
that's housecalls@3ABN.org
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and we will do our best
by trying to answer them
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from the word of God.
And we have some today,
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I think John what do
you have for us house call?
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Well, I've got
several good questions;
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in fact we have one
that's on point with our topic,
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okay, what we are
talking about today here.
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I won't get to that
one yet that will be next.
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Yeah, let that be the same way.
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Yeah, but this
one here is a question
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that has been
asked several times,
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I don't think we've
ever really answered it.
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Okay. So, I'm gonna
go ahead and share here
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with you 'cause many
have this, this question.
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And it says, hi John
and John, was it a sin or
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was a sin that cannot
be forgiven it's kind of
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broken English here, so
I am trying to translate,
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that after suicide
obviously we can't ask for
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forgiveness and can't confess.
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So, is suicide being
a sin, does it take away
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eternal life? Is
essential the question and good
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question, I mean
really it is because many have
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asked that and
wanted that and you know,
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first of all before we
get into the gist of this
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question and how to
answer it is really the,
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the way it's answered
is more on things that
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we need to ask
ourselves and questions
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we need to consider
because we don't know,
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we don't see as
God sees, that's right,
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we don't see as God
sees, and that's important
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for us to remember,
but there are some basic
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principles I believe
that the Bible does teach
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on this. First of
all, there is nowhere
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anywhere in Scripture
that God would endorse
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suicide as an early
way out of this life.
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Right. He is a God of
life, He does not want
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us to commit
suicide, to end our life early
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to take our life
into our own hands and
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somehow get out of
this or escape the sinful
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world to get to the next life.
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So, there is no
endorsement of that
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whatsoever, but I
would ask you to consider
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several things when
talking about suicide
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and these are just
some general questions here
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that I'll throw
out to you to consider.
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First of all, confession
follows conviction of sin,
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right? Okay. I mean you
got to be convicted of sin
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sin before you
can confess a sin.
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What is someone
isn't convicted of suicide
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being a sin, just
something he considered?
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Okay, what if suicide
is a result of a severe
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mental issue, that's
beyond just someone's
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cognitive
ability to process what
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they're doing. Okay.
Okay, and let's transition
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over into another
topic are the mentally
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handicapped, how
do we judge them?
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You know, the Bible
doesn't talk a lot about
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the mentally
handicapped although we see
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some examples in
there of some who did suffer
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from that, but we
don't know what someone's
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condition is as far as
their ability to process,
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to understand the
love of God to follow God
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in a way that maybe we do.
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So, these are things
we, we can only consider,
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but we have to be
aware of that we don't
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really know and
understand to the fullest
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and as God
knows and understands.
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Right, the
sovereignty of God is beyond
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human understanding.
It's beyond, it is,
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it's beyond human
understanding the way of
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putting it. There
is a verse I'd like to
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bring up, it's not a
verse that I would say I am,
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I am launching a
doctrine into it all, but just
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some other things to consider.
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Second Samuel 12, 13
and 14, I want you to take a
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look at, this is David
who became convicted of
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a sin of lying with
Bathsheba and as you know,
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Nathan the prophet
came to him and approached
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him with a story of
a man who took a sheep
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from someone who had
only one, when he had a
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multitude of them and
sacrificed that sheep.
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Of course, we know the
David was just livid at
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someone doing this.
That's true. And the Nathan
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said of course
that this is you oh!
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King who has
done this great thing,
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this great sin. And
so, we pick it up here in
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verse 13 and it
says David said to Nathan
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after hearing this. I
have sinned against the Lord;
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now look at
Nathan's response here.
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Nathan said to
David, the Lord has put away
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your sin and you shall
not die. He's easing his
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concern, but the issue
here is that David hasn't
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really even had a
chance to confess.
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He's convicted, but
there is no actual verbal
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confession yet, He
is recognized his sin.
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And Nathan's reply
is, the Lord has put away
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your sin. Now, the
reason I bring up this verse
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John is because
some may have this idea
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that as they've
accept to the Lord as their
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Savior as the atoning
sacrifice for their sin
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and they plead God's
blood in their behalf everyday.
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Because you know, we
as sinful human beings
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we don't really
understand the extent of
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our sin really. And
you know, we are completely
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deprived and incapable
really of doing anything
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righteous of our
own. Knowing that the Lord
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does go through a
process of convicting us
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of sin and we go
through a process of confessing
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that sin, repenting of
that sin. But some view
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that when something
they do, a little something
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anger, maybe the
God angry at someone or,
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or maybe they spoke
harshly against their
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spouse or
something like that happens.
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Many have this
view that I am lost.
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Oh! And then I am
saved when I confess
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and I am lost, I
am saved, I am lost,
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I am saved, I am
lost. This is back and forth
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without any really
surety or security and the
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atoning sacrifice of
Christ ongoing interceding
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and their behalf as
they go throughout their
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day and their life
of living. Even says,
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why it talks about the
life we live is being a
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trend of the acts.
Right. The intentions of the
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heart or the desire to do good.
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Yes, we will make
mistakes, yes we will have
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our issues and
struggles, but that doesn't mean
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we're lost one minute and
then we're saved the next,
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every time
something like that happens.
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Okay, so I bring that
up just to show you some
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more things to consider
and the context of suicide.
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We don't know
where that person is?
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We don't understand
their mental capacity,
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we don't understand their state,
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we don't
understand the oppression that
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the enemy has had
upon them, we don't know
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those things though
at the same time I want
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you to let you know
I am not ever endorsing
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by any means
that anyone would ever
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contemplate the
thought of suicide. Right.
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Because to a great
degree, if you're doing
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that as an early
way out that is not the
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Lord's will and you
don't want to operate
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outside of the
Lord's will. That's right.
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So, this is a
touchy sensitive issue that
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I just wanna throw
some of those things out
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because these are
things we do need to
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consider rather
than having a hardened
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fast world with
everyone that well,
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if you commit
suicide you're lost. Okay.
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So, anyway and lay on
that, I think you have
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couple of
things you want to say.
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Yeah, it's a, it's a
topic that people bring up
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from time-to-time
and you know the great
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concern I have
is couple of things.
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One whether or
not they are the ones
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committing suicide or
secondly or if they know
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of one who has
committed suicide.
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Sometimes they ask
that question to wonder
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to try to get an answer
to what happened to them.
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They were a good
Christian to this point
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and they just commit
suicide or they lost,
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then I'm going to
have to spend eternity
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without them. And
so, those are some of the
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sensitive parts of
it. The second part as I
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mention first was I
maybe in a difficult
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situation and I
wanna get out of it.
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Well, I've really had
enough of life and if I
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killed myself is God
going to hold that against me?
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Well, I think that
uneven contemplating I could
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refer to some of
that as pre-meditation.
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And so, when the Bible
says Thou shall not kill
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that include
yourself. And here's the way
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I like to, this is the
Scripture I'd like to add
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to that James 4 and verse 17.
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It says: Therefore to
him that knoweth to do good,
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and does not do
it to him it is sin.
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So, this comes
back to the cognitive,
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cognitive level of do
I know that this is wrong
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and, and knowing that
this is wrong do I do it
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and just hope that
God will go ahead and
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forgive me out of
it. Right. After I can't.
00:10:00.73\00:10:02.94
Which is presumption?
Which is presumption,
00:10:02.95\00:10:04.93
right. The sin of
omission, the sin of commission,
00:10:04.94\00:10:07.31
presumption is a
great word to use and so,
00:10:07.32\00:10:10.32
what we're saying
here today is because
00:10:11.62\00:10:13.09
the Bible doesn't
give us a classic example,
00:10:13.10\00:10:15.66
so many people use Samson. Yeah.
00:10:16.14\00:10:18.58
Don't use Samson as
an example because once
00:10:19.18\00:10:21.83
again we talked about
the sovereignty of God
00:10:21.84\00:10:23.59
you cannot
figure out God's plan.
00:10:23.60\00:10:25.59
You do not know and
God had raised up Samson
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to be a great deliver of Israel.
00:10:28.77\00:10:30.69
And the Bible said,
well he defeated more
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in his death than
he did in his life.
00:10:34.69\00:10:36.98
So, to some degree
the plan of God that
00:10:37.47\00:10:40.15
could have been
more greatly accomplished
00:10:40.16\00:10:42.03
in his life, but still
the Lord had brought down
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the Palestine's and
their kingdom is that
00:10:45.55\00:10:48.19
particular story
through the life of Samson.
00:10:48.20\00:10:50.98
So, let's not use
Samson as the escape code
00:10:50.99\00:10:52.65
to say well, we could
do the same thing and,
00:10:52.66\00:10:54.88
and kill ourselves
and be saved because
00:10:54.89\00:10:57.20
he has talked about
us one of the faithful
00:10:57.21\00:10:59.00
in the Book of
Hebrew, so we must assume
00:10:59.01\00:11:00.89
that he is not
a lost man. Right.
00:11:01.35\00:11:02.99
But I'll just, if I
used to say, if you know to
00:11:03.42\00:11:06.14
do good and don't
do it to you it is sin
00:11:06.15\00:11:09.24
that's what the
Bible says? But it's a
00:11:09.70\00:11:12.74
sensitive topic.
It is and that's why
00:11:12.75\00:11:14.63
I don't approach it
with a hardened fast
00:11:14.64\00:11:16.53
yes to no for,
for any of that but,
00:11:16.54\00:11:18.42
but all things
that we can consider
00:11:18.43\00:11:21.09
with that
question. I need to consider
00:11:21.69\00:11:23.26
to be sensitive
toward those who are going
00:11:23.27\00:11:25.38
through that battle
or have had loved ones
00:11:25.39\00:11:27.74
who had gone. I know
of some people that have
00:11:27.75\00:11:30.36
faced excruciating
pain in their lives
00:11:30.37\00:11:32.90
and some people
think back to the, you know
00:11:33.17\00:11:35.44
Dr. Jack Kevorkian
who, who almost as it were,
00:11:35.45\00:11:40.43
were not almost
supported patients who
00:11:40.44\00:11:43.34
couldn't take it any
longer and then he killed
00:11:43.35\00:11:45.86
themselves
Youthanasia. Right and so,
00:11:45.87\00:11:48.34
we're not
supporting any of that,
00:11:49.83\00:11:50.97
but the sovereignty
of God is greater than
00:11:51.40\00:11:53.04
the understanding of man. Yeah.
00:11:53.05\00:11:54.03
Here's another
question from the person
00:11:54.44\00:11:55.92
name Terry, they
have a question about
00:11:55.93\00:11:59.65
Revelation
chapter 20 and verse 10.
00:11:59.66\00:12:02.22
Somebody wants it
well, you know you always
00:12:03.11\00:12:05.48
read Revelation 20
verse 7 to 9 and you stop
00:12:05.49\00:12:09.02
short of Revelation 20 verse 10.
00:12:09.03\00:12:11.90
John, when I read
that it is, it is, it is,
00:12:12.29\00:12:17.53
it requires spiritual
insight to not take into
00:12:19.86\00:12:23.56
consideration what
Revelation 20 verse 9 says.
00:12:23.57\00:12:27.10
Yeah. And just take
into consideration of
00:12:27.11\00:12:29.24
Revelation 20 and
verse 10 says because
00:12:29.25\00:12:31.89
verse 9 and 10
almost seem to be at odds
00:12:31.90\00:12:34.27
with each other
when you read the
00:12:34.28\00:12:35.63
ending of both
verses and here it is.
00:12:35.64\00:12:37.51
It says speaking of
the, of the 2nd resurrection.
00:12:38.60\00:12:41.99
They went up and I
am reading from the
00:12:44.35\00:12:45.83
New King James
Version. They went up on the
00:12:45.84\00:12:47.73
breadth of the
earth and surrounded the
00:12:47.74\00:12:50.08
camp of the saints
and the beloved city.
00:12:50.09\00:12:52.22
And fire came down
from God out of heaven
00:12:52.62\00:12:55.14
and do what?
Devoured them. Devoured them,
00:12:55.15\00:12:58.94
okay now I want
you to know as the word
00:12:59.26\00:13:01.05
devoured there is a
final word, but they said
00:13:01.06\00:13:04.15
okay well, I
know what that says,
00:13:04.16\00:13:05.41
but what about verse
10? Let's look at that.
00:13:05.42\00:13:07.46
And the devil, who
deceived them was cast
00:13:08.48\00:13:11.04
into the lake of fire
and brimstone where the
00:13:11.05\00:13:14.19
beast and the false prophet are.
00:13:14.20\00:13:16.03
And they will be
tormented day and night
00:13:16.62\00:13:18.31
forever and ever. I
always appreciate looking
00:13:18.32\00:13:22.16
at this text
'cause there are number of
00:13:22.17\00:13:23.87
assumptions that come to
the surface in this text.
00:13:23.88\00:13:26.39
First of all the
word, the phrase devoured
00:13:26.40\00:13:29.85
them is
automatically dismissed. Yeah.
00:13:29.86\00:13:32.21
You know, the fire
came down from heaven
00:13:32.65\00:13:34.33
and devoured
them. In another words.
00:13:34.77\00:13:37.05
So, now let's
ignore devoured and go onto
00:13:37.06\00:13:38.73
the forever and ever.
Exactly, I rather that
00:13:38.74\00:13:40.63
forever and ever
because and that will
00:13:40.64\00:13:41.89
give me room to say that
people have eternal life.
00:13:41.90\00:13:44.64
Well, two things,
number of things and I just
00:13:44.65\00:13:46.79
stupid, a number
of things you have to
00:13:46.80\00:13:47.77
consider is
Romans 6 and verse 23.
00:13:47.78\00:13:49.85
See that's the text
that people don't often
00:13:50.39\00:13:51.89
look at in the context
in which the Bible gives it.
00:13:51.90\00:13:54.31
The wages of sin is
death; the gift of God
00:13:55.66\00:13:59.64
is eternal life in
or through Christ Jesus
00:13:59.65\00:14:02.50
our Lord
depending on the translation
00:14:02.51\00:14:04.60
King James and New King James.
00:14:04.61\00:14:06.21
But the wages of sin
is death; the gift of God
00:14:06.62\00:14:10.54
is eternal life.
Now, I know you know the
00:14:10.55\00:14:15.23
answer, but I'm
gonna ask you that just for
00:14:15.24\00:14:16.71
the classroom setting
so that we can get the
00:14:16.72\00:14:18.28
emphasis that I desire.
Do the righteous receive
00:14:18.29\00:14:22.90
eternal life? Yes.
Do the wicked receive
00:14:23.99\00:14:26.41
eternal life? No. Okay,
so eternal life can be a
00:14:26.42\00:14:30.27
gift to the righteous
and the wicked. Right.
00:14:30.28\00:14:32.59
So, if you can't live
forever well let me be
00:14:32.60\00:14:35.72
more specific, if you
are not eternal how can you
00:14:35.73\00:14:39.82
burn eternally?
Well, and keep in mind too
00:14:39.83\00:14:43.23
1st Corinthians 15
that only the righteous
00:14:43.24\00:14:45.29
receive
immortality. That's right.
00:14:45.30\00:14:47.16
It doesn't say that the
wicked receive immortality.
00:14:47.57\00:14:49.83
Right. So, if you
don't have immortality
00:14:49.84\00:14:51.96
what happens?
You die. Right, or as
00:14:51.97\00:14:54.42
John 315 and John 316
says you perish. Yeah.
00:14:54.43\00:14:58.20
The word Perish is
very, very important there.
00:14:58.21\00:15:01.21
So, that that's the
first consideration,
00:15:01.60\00:15:03.71
but they say well
now how do you get rid of
00:15:03.72\00:15:05.67
forever and ever? Well, let me;
00:15:05.68\00:15:08.07
let me give you
another text since that one
00:15:08.08\00:15:09.96
may not be sufficient enough.
00:15:10.62\00:15:11.99
The point I want to
emphasize is only the
00:15:12.40\00:15:14.72
righteous have eternal
life, only the righteous
00:15:14.73\00:15:17.44
have eternal life.
You can't burn eternally
00:15:17.45\00:15:20.06
if you can't live
eternally, but then
00:15:20.46\00:15:23.33
somebody is watching
the program and haven't
00:15:23.34\00:15:25.10
heard this before I may say aah!
00:15:25.11\00:15:26.60
But you have not
addresses the soul
00:15:26.61\00:15:29.23
because somehow
I believe the soul
00:15:29.66\00:15:32.38
is eternal. That's
the view that's obvious,
00:15:32.39\00:15:35.38
so we must assume
somebody is thinking
00:15:35.39\00:15:36.87
that right now. Go with us to
00:15:36.88\00:15:38.73
Matthew chapter 10 and
verse 28. Matthew chapter
00:15:38.74\00:15:43.51
and I'm building
the foundation here,
00:15:43.52\00:15:45.24
but then we're going
to lay it out a very,
00:15:45.25\00:15:48.18
very carefully.
This text by the way.
00:15:48.19\00:15:49.85
I know where you are going;
00:15:49.86\00:15:50.83
I know where you are
going. You know where I'm
00:15:51.29\00:15:52.35
going John okay.
Matthew 10 verse 28
00:15:52.36\00:15:56.32
and the reason why I
want to read this text
00:15:56.76\00:15:58.41
is because it's
often used to support the
00:15:58.42\00:16:03.74
wrong view. I know.
You know, it's often,
00:16:03.75\00:16:06.27
it's once again one
of those texts where they
00:16:06.28\00:16:08.69
ignore the beginning.
Well, they ignore the end
00:16:09.14\00:16:11.88
and just take the
beginning. Why don't you
00:16:12.31\00:16:13.58
read that for us and
read that fully so that
00:16:13.59\00:16:15.63
they can get that. In verse 28:
00:16:15.64\00:16:17.49
Do not fear those
who killed her body,
00:16:17.50\00:16:19.89
but cannot kill the
soul. Okay let's pause
00:16:19.90\00:16:22.14
right there. So,
so they, the soul,
00:16:22.15\00:16:26.88
those who kill the
body can't kill the soul.
00:16:26.89\00:16:30.39
Okay, what's that
saying, let's keep going.
00:16:31.40\00:16:34.40
Okay rest of the
text. But rather fear Him
00:16:34.88\00:16:38.30
who is able to destroy
both soul and body in hell.
00:16:39.43\00:16:43.87
Okay, so who is the
one that we must fear
00:16:44.30\00:16:48.26
who is able to
destroy both body and soul
00:16:48.74\00:16:54.57
in hell. And that
would hell is hell fire,
00:16:54.58\00:16:57.04
the lake of fire. So,
we already read that text
00:16:57.20\00:16:59.45
that the lake of fire
was kindled and destroyed
00:17:00.37\00:17:03.11
them all, right, but
here you know this body
00:17:03.57\00:17:07.91
and soul some I know
you, this is what you're
00:17:07.92\00:17:10.58
saying is that they're
wondering why less them
00:17:10.59\00:17:12.96
separate, they're
not separate. Here's why.
00:17:12.97\00:17:15.40
Oh! Yes. Okay you'll
go for it. No, no, no
00:17:16.58\00:17:19.26
I appreciate you go
ahead. Here's why because
00:17:19.27\00:17:21.94
the body is something
that is susceptible now
00:17:22.82\00:17:26.86
when it's mortal
state to the first death.
00:17:26.87\00:17:29.09
That's right. And you
read, and if you look at
00:17:29.26\00:17:30.92
Revelation 20
there are two deaths,
00:17:30.93\00:17:32.40
first and the second death.
00:17:32.41\00:17:33.66
But the soul is the
person. That's right.
00:17:34.70\00:17:37.30
The being, the entire
person, whether the body,
00:17:37.31\00:17:39.67
their life, it's
spoken of in many context
00:17:40.02\00:17:42.96
throughout the word,
but it's always spoken of
00:17:42.97\00:17:45.11
as they saw, in
fact when we go out to do
00:17:45.12\00:17:47.20
evangelism work, we
often talk about and
00:17:47.21\00:17:48.96
this is throughout
denominations, we go out
00:17:48.97\00:17:50.41
to save souls,
right? Right. You hear a
00:17:50.42\00:17:53.56
report about a plane
crash 243 souls perished.
00:17:53.57\00:17:57.65
Right. Right, so souls
are in other reference to
00:17:57.66\00:18:01.17
the person the entire
being. So, when this is
00:18:01.18\00:18:02.80
saying can destroy both
body and soul in heaven,
00:18:02.81\00:18:05.64
I mean in hell, it
saying that that fire that comes
00:18:06.05\00:18:09.18
out of heaven that
is kindled will not only
00:18:09.19\00:18:11.86
destroy the body as in
the first death context.
00:18:11.87\00:18:15.22
Your body will
perish, but your being,
00:18:15.23\00:18:18.23
your entire being
forever and ever will die.
00:18:18.24\00:18:20.35
It's gone. There
is no more you left.
00:18:21.26\00:18:24.75
That's right. That if
you reading in Obadiah you
00:18:24.76\00:18:27.78
read there that the
condition at the end of
00:18:27.79\00:18:29.95
the kindling of the
lake of fire is that they
00:18:29.96\00:18:32.38
will be as though
they had never been.
00:18:32.78\00:18:34.65
That's right. That is
because their soul has
00:18:34.66\00:18:37.22
been destroyed by
God himself. Right and
00:18:37.23\00:18:40.46
you know there the
Bible is not suggesting
00:18:40.47\00:18:42.32
an immortal soul. No.
Now that's, that's the other
00:18:42.33\00:18:45.22
assumption that's
often added to that text
00:18:45.23\00:18:47.28
that the soul is
immortal and the soul therefore,
00:18:47.29\00:18:50.55
but John you made
this point very quickly
00:18:50.99\00:18:52.59
and I want to go back
to it. You just suggested
00:18:52.60\00:18:54.93
First Corinthians, but
go to that text and read it
00:18:54.94\00:18:57.42
because you just made
that point between points
00:18:57.43\00:18:59.71
John talked about First
Corinthians and only the
00:18:59.72\00:19:01.81
righteous receiving
immortality, want you
00:19:01.82\00:19:04.88
to get that. And
here's the point the righteous
00:19:04.89\00:19:07.41
receive immortality
not when they become
00:19:07.42\00:19:10.47
Christians, but when at
the second coming of Christ.
00:19:10.48\00:19:14.19
Now, we received the
promise, but we don't
00:19:14.52\00:19:16.65
receive the gift.
Right. It doesn't become active
00:19:16.66\00:19:19.24
until the second
coming of Christ,
00:19:19.25\00:19:20.63
read that for us. And
that gift is the change
00:19:20.64\00:19:22.76
from mortality to
immortality and this is
00:19:22.77\00:19:25.34
what Paul is talking
about this change that occurs
00:19:25.35\00:19:27.73
in 1st Corinthians 15
beginning with verse 51.
00:19:28.19\00:19:30.76
Behold, I tell you a
mystery: We shall not
00:19:31.46\00:19:34.21
all sleep, that is
our bodies won't just rest
00:19:34.22\00:19:37.99
in that first death
state, but we shall all be
00:19:38.00\00:19:40.68
changed in a moment,
in the twinkling of an eye
00:19:41.11\00:19:44.94
just like that.
At the last trumpet,
00:19:44.95\00:19:47.55
for the trumpet will
sound and the dead will be
00:19:47.94\00:19:49.86
raised incorruptible
and we shall be what?
00:19:49.87\00:19:52.99
Changed, for this
corruptible, we must
00:19:53.86\00:19:56.78
put on incorruption
and this mortal must put on
00:19:56.79\00:20:00.35
what?
Immortality. Immortality. Must.
00:20:00.36\00:20:04.40
Must put on
immortality why must it put on
00:20:04.41\00:20:07.14
immortality because
that's the only thing that you,
00:20:07.15\00:20:09.21
that you have
that would cause you to
00:20:09.92\00:20:11.65
live eternally.
Immortality, so when this
00:20:11.66\00:20:15.91
corruptable has put
on incorruption and this
00:20:15.92\00:20:17.96
mortal has put on
immortality then shall be
00:20:17.97\00:20:20.84
brought to pass the
same that is written.
00:20:20.85\00:20:22.99
Death is swallowed up
in victory. So, those John
00:20:23.00\00:20:26.82
at that point in
the resurrection,
00:20:26.83\00:20:29.13
the last trumpet.
Those who have put on
00:20:29.14\00:20:31.48
immortality do not
suffer death and those
00:20:31.49\00:20:37.41
that do, or that do
not put on immortality.
00:20:37.42\00:20:40.46
Do I say do not
initially? Right. Those who do
00:20:40.47\00:20:42.61
put on immortality
don't suffer death,
00:20:42.62\00:20:44.06
those who do not put
on immortality do suffer
00:20:44.07\00:20:46.75
death and at that
point once they die death
00:20:47.20\00:20:50.70
itself has gone. Right,
because you made a point
00:20:50.71\00:20:54.66
very good. Even
death itself is gonna be
00:20:54.67\00:20:57.62
destroyed. Right. So,
there are not gonna be
00:20:57.63\00:20:59.79
people dying after
immortality has given to
00:20:59.80\00:21:02.65
righteous and death
itself is going to be wiped out.
00:21:02.66\00:21:06.38
Death is not going to
be existing any longer,
00:21:06.39\00:21:08.46
but thank you for
that John; I want to add a
00:21:08.86\00:21:11.68
few more text here
just to make this point
00:21:11.69\00:21:13.96
very clear. Go
with us to Psalms 37,
00:21:13.97\00:21:17.96
Psalms chapter 37
and by the way the word
00:21:17.97\00:21:20.84
there hell in Matthew
chapter 10 and verse 28
00:21:20.85\00:21:23.55
is the word Gehenna,
that lake of fire that
00:21:23.56\00:21:25.99
place of burning
not the actual, not,
00:21:26.00\00:21:28.67
not the grave as the
word Hades refers to,
00:21:29.66\00:21:34.82
but what did I say
Psalms 37, hold on let me go
00:21:35.30\00:21:38.56
there with you
to could make sense.
00:21:38.57\00:21:40.58
I was letting you go
there. Okay, Psalms 37
00:21:40.59\00:21:43.50
and listen to these
verses. Starting with
00:21:44.57\00:21:47.46
verse one,
starting with verse one.
00:21:47.47\00:21:50.75
Do not fret, I'm
reading in the New King James,
00:21:51.93\00:21:55.23
because of
evildoers, nor be envious of the
00:21:55.24\00:21:57.63
workers of iniquity.
For they shall soon be cut
00:21:57.64\00:22:01.08
down like the grass, and
wither as the green herb.
00:22:01.09\00:22:05.09
Verse 9: For
evildoers shall be cut off:
00:22:05.52\00:22:09.66
but those that wait
on the Lord, they shall
00:22:10.23\00:22:12.27
inherit the earth.
So, in other words the
00:22:12.28\00:22:14.79
wicked won't be inheriting
the earth, which means?
00:22:14.80\00:22:16.83
There won't be any
wicked on the new earth.
00:22:17.26\00:22:18.66
Right. Let's go on. For
yet verse 10 of Psalms 37.
00:22:18.67\00:22:23.92
For yet a little while
and the wicked shall be
00:22:24.43\00:22:26.74
no more; Indeed, you
will look carefully or
00:22:27.25\00:22:30.81
diligently for his
place, and it shall be no more.
00:22:30.82\00:22:35.30
Why? And here is
the explanation of that
00:22:35.94\00:22:38.74
torment talked about
in Revelation chapter 20
00:22:38.75\00:22:40.94
verse 10 and the verse
20 now we're looking at
00:22:40.95\00:22:45.01
in Psalms 37. But
the wicked shall perish;
00:22:45.02\00:22:48.72
and the enemies of the
Lord, like the splendor
00:22:49.43\00:22:52.33
of the meadows, shall vanish.
00:22:52.83\00:22:54.63
Into smoke shall
they vanish away. Away.
00:22:55.13\00:22:58.84
Away, they will
vanish away into smoke.
00:22:59.31\00:23:01.95
So but, but there is
a text here that that
00:23:02.39\00:23:05.51
I want to add for the last two.
00:23:05.52\00:23:07.20
Go to Malachi unless
you have another one.
00:23:07.67\00:23:09.79
No. Okay, Malachi
chapter 4, so the question is
00:23:10.32\00:23:13.43
what's gonna be
the end of the wicked.
00:23:13.44\00:23:15.19
They're gonna into
smoke they will vanish away.
00:23:15.20\00:23:17.45
Whenever there is a
fire of anything the smoke,
00:23:17.81\00:23:20.00
when the smoke
clears what do we have left?
00:23:20.01\00:23:21.97
John chapter, Malachi.
Malachi 4:1. Verse 1 and 3.
00:23:22.45\00:23:26.56
For behold, the day
is coming, Burning like
00:23:27.07\00:23:29.28
an oven, And all the
proud, yes, all who do
00:23:29.29\00:23:32.42
wickedly will be
stubble. And the day which is
00:23:32.43\00:23:36.40
coming shall burn them
up, Says the Lord of hosts,
00:23:36.41\00:23:39.19
that will leave them
neither root nor branch.
00:23:39.70\00:23:42.66
And verse 3. And
verse 3, you shall trample
00:23:43.44\00:23:45.07
the wicked, for they
shall be ashes under the
00:23:45.08\00:23:46.79
soles of your feet on
the day that I do this,
00:23:46.80\00:23:49.85
Says the Lord of
hosts. So, the wicked are
00:23:49.86\00:23:53.45
going to be ashes.
Yeah. The day that's coming
00:23:53.46\00:23:56.65
shall burn as an
oven and all the proud
00:23:56.66\00:23:58.43
and all the
wicked shall be stubbled;
00:23:58.44\00:24:00.65
they'll be ashes
under the souls of our feet.
00:24:00.66\00:24:02.68
That's usually what
happens when a fire is
00:24:02.69\00:24:04.43
out of control and
it burns everything
00:24:04.44\00:24:06.19
in it's path. The only
thing left is ashes like
00:24:06.20\00:24:08.52
a crematory, only
thing left is ashes.
00:24:08.53\00:24:11.45
In the case of the
soul and the body though,
00:24:11.46\00:24:13.11
what John the
text that we read in
00:24:13.52\00:24:15.51
Matthew 10 verse
28 was simply this.
00:24:15.52\00:24:17.73
A person may die
in a fire right now,
00:24:18.14\00:24:20.08
but the Lord can resurrect them.
00:24:20.50\00:24:22.07
Right, 'cause their
soul is gone. Right.
00:24:22.08\00:24:24.22
And it's not a
separate soul, right,
00:24:24.67\00:24:26.19
it's just them as a
person is still their life
00:24:26.20\00:24:29.17
preserved with
God. That's right,
00:24:29.18\00:24:30.82
and so in the
existence of that person is not
00:24:30.83\00:24:33.24
wiped out, but when the
Lord wipes out a person,
00:24:33.25\00:24:36.32
they will never be
anymore again. Right.
00:24:37.28\00:24:39.34
That's what Psalms
mean they'll never,
00:24:39.35\00:24:40.84
they'll never be a
resurrection for them,
00:24:40.85\00:24:42.48
they'll never be a
second resurrection that's it.
00:24:42.49\00:24:44.77
That 2nd
resurrection has taken place,
00:24:44.78\00:24:47.25
they were among the wicked,
00:24:47.26\00:24:48.65
they were destroyed,
wiped out of existence
00:24:48.66\00:24:50.89
and then the thing
that capstones this
00:24:51.32\00:24:52.61
whole idea is
Ezekiel 28 verse 18 and 19
00:24:52.62\00:24:56.51
because Ezekiel
talks about Satan I will be
00:24:56.52\00:24:58.89
like the most high,
you know and but here
00:24:58.90\00:25:01.69
it talks about how are
you falling from heaven
00:25:01.70\00:25:03.76
O Lucifer son of the morning.
00:25:03.77\00:25:04.97
So, this Bible context
which talks about Lucifer
00:25:05.40\00:25:08.59
walking back and
forth in the stones in the
00:25:09.05\00:25:10.92
midst of God talks
about his end, and here it is.
00:25:10.93\00:25:13.31
Ezekiel 28 verse 18:
Thou hast defiled thy
00:25:14.31\00:25:17.82
sanctuaries by
the multitude of thine
00:25:17.83\00:25:19.69
iniquities. But notice
the middle of the verse:
00:25:19.70\00:25:23.09
Therefore I will
bring forth a fire from the
00:25:23.58\00:25:26.09
midst of thee, I'll
bring forth a fire from the
00:25:26.10\00:25:28.85
midst of thee it shall
devour thee, that Satan
00:25:28.86\00:25:31.97
and I will bring thee
to ashes upon the earth
00:25:33.13\00:25:35.73
in the sight of all
them that behold thee.
00:25:36.24\00:25:38.06
All they that know
thee among the people
00:25:38.98\00:25:41.25
shall be astonished
at thee: thou shalt be a
00:25:41.26\00:25:44.13
terror, and never
shalt thou be anymore.
00:25:44.14\00:25:47.05
So, Satan is gonna be wiped out.
00:25:47.48\00:25:49.06
So why would his
subjects go on being tormented?
00:25:49.49\00:25:52.87
And refer to that
never, never shall thou be
00:25:52.88\00:25:55.91
anymore, that's not
talking about just his
00:25:55.92\00:25:58.43
body is consumed.
That means perish.
00:25:58.44\00:26:00.40
He is gone. As that
being that has caused sin.
00:26:00.41\00:26:03.45
You know, one other
things too that people
00:26:03.67\00:26:05.38
struggle with
Revelation 20 which is where we
00:26:05.39\00:26:07.39
began is the reference
here to torment the day
00:26:07.40\00:26:11.44
and night forever
and ever. They say,
00:26:11.45\00:26:13.23
well there is, there
you go. There is an eternal
00:26:13.24\00:26:15.47
torment there it goes
on-and-on. Keep in mind
00:26:15.48\00:26:20.05
here that the language
in which this is written,
00:26:20.06\00:26:24.00
Greek, Aramaic
language is the same way;
00:26:24.01\00:26:27.60
you go back even to
the Hebrew language of
00:26:27.99\00:26:29.81
the Old Testament.
Similar way they are much more.
00:26:29.82\00:26:32.56
A broader. Well, I'm
trying to tell you how
00:26:34.36\00:26:37.28
they're broader. The
word used to describe
00:26:37.29\00:26:40.18
the subject that
you're talking about are
00:26:40.56\00:26:43.07
used much more in a,
it's a, it's a language
00:26:43.08\00:26:47.72
connecting to that subject.
00:26:47.73\00:26:50.03
In other words if
you're talking about someone
00:26:50.04\00:26:53.48
who is mortal and
you're describing them as
00:26:53.49\00:26:56.33
forever and ever.
You're speaking of that which
00:26:56.34\00:26:58.71
is mortal, so forever
and ever for something that
00:26:58.72\00:27:01.51
is mortal is until
it's gone. Okay, I got you.
00:27:01.52\00:27:04.52
If you're speaking
in the forever and ever
00:27:04.53\00:27:06.18
context with God what
is forever mean with God?
00:27:06.19\00:27:10.00
It means. Eternally.
Like never stops going on
00:27:10.52\00:27:13.86
because he is
immortal. No beginning, no end.
00:27:13.87\00:27:16.40
No beginning, no end,
but when you're speaking
00:27:16.41\00:27:18.28
about the mortal
which you are speaking about
00:27:18.29\00:27:19.96
with regard to the
wicked here forever
00:27:19.97\00:27:21.82
and ever is, it will
not stop burning until
00:27:21.83\00:27:24.49
they are gone.
Good point. So, for them
00:27:24.50\00:27:28.76
this is descriptive of
the wicked that the fire
00:27:29.10\00:27:31.86
will not go out
until it is done it's work
00:27:31.87\00:27:34.91
and they are gone.
Okay, so be careful
00:27:34.92\00:27:38.01
when you just
simply taken English word
00:27:38.02\00:27:39.62
and pull it out this is
simply a translation from
00:27:40.01\00:27:42.19
the old word of the
Greek and make it up
00:27:42.20\00:27:44.82
to be just what the
English word is saying
00:27:44.83\00:27:46.57
because the other
old language is much more
00:27:46.58\00:27:49.10
descriptive of the
subject it's referring to.
00:27:49.11\00:27:52.11
Very good, and you
know the, the great
00:27:52.12\00:27:54.22
illustration John
and the text that that
00:27:54.23\00:27:56.94
describes that and
brings that home is in
00:27:56.95\00:27:58.72
Jude verse 7, when it
says that Sodom and Gomorrha
00:27:58.73\00:28:02.17
suffered the
vengeance of eternal fire.
00:28:02.58\00:28:05.51
Or some reference,
or some Scriptures say,
00:28:05.93\00:28:07.49
everlasting fire. Right
and so, Sodom and Gomorrha
00:28:07.50\00:28:10.38
is not burning
today, but that that fire
00:28:10.39\00:28:12.92
was eternal until everybody in
00:28:12.93\00:28:14.70
Sodom and Gomorrha were consume.
00:28:14.71\00:28:16.23
And the Bible
makes it very clear
00:28:16.70\00:28:18.69
Sodom and Gomorrha
was destroyed that the
00:28:18.70\00:28:21.25
reference there in
Genesis. And keep in mind
00:28:21.26\00:28:22.52
to unquenchable
doesn't mean it never
00:28:22.53\00:28:25.35
can go out, it means
that you can't put it out.
00:28:25.36\00:28:27.94
Right until it's
accomplishes. Alright, so.
00:28:27.95\00:28:30.25
But, but can God put it
out? Yes, when it's done,
00:28:30.74\00:28:33.39
it's done.
Absolutely. Wow! You know,
00:28:33.40\00:28:35.99
let me read my question
because it's the segued.
00:28:36.00\00:28:37.71
That's right. Alright,
this is a question that
00:28:38.21\00:28:41.37
we receive with regard
to Christian relationships
00:28:41.38\00:28:44.98
and we've been
talking about in our topic
00:28:45.39\00:28:47.18
here over the last
couple of programs the
00:28:47.19\00:28:49.91
relationships God's
way, how God would have
00:28:50.90\00:28:53.62
us have relationships
whether it would be
00:28:53.63\00:28:55.76
in the context of
our family or friends or
00:28:55.77\00:28:57.74
marriage with our
spouse, lots of things,
00:28:57.75\00:29:01.12
but anyway there is
a couple relationships
00:29:01.13\00:29:04.21
that this person is
having and we can kind of
00:29:04.61\00:29:07.16
answer this
briefly, but then I think get
00:29:07.17\00:29:09.14
into our topic.
Okay. Is our topic will
00:29:09.15\00:29:11.57
answer some of
these questions anyway;
00:29:11.58\00:29:13.01
I have a friend
who is a Christian.
00:29:13.46\00:29:14.90
We talk often on
Biblical perspectives however
00:29:15.37\00:29:17.68
I increasingly felt
toxic, toxic emotions
00:29:17.69\00:29:21.18
from this person.
She has even told me
00:29:21.19\00:29:23.65
that she is
sometimes jealous of me and my
00:29:23.66\00:29:25.48
perspectives. Recently
she became quite venomous
00:29:25.49\00:29:29.03
with a very negative
emotional comment that
00:29:30.23\00:29:32.31
was quite hurtful. I
felt like I am at the end of
00:29:32.32\00:29:36.05
my tolerance yet I
want to be a good Christian
00:29:36.06\00:29:38.64
and forgive. When,
where and when is it
00:29:38.65\00:29:41.83
appropriate for a
Christian to draw the line
00:29:41.84\00:29:43.82
in the obligation of
friendship and simply
00:29:44.19\00:29:46.20
go my own separate
way? See we're not made
00:29:46.21\00:29:50.46
to be doormats
constantly, you know suscepting
00:29:50.47\00:29:53.37
or putting our self in
you know, in this kind of
00:29:53.38\00:29:58.57
you know harms way of
these venomous that she
00:29:58.58\00:30:00.48
talks about venomous
very negative emotional
00:30:00.49\00:30:02.62
comments from those.
Here's and, here's the,
00:30:02.63\00:30:06.33
the second part, if
a nonbelievers wants to
00:30:06.34\00:30:08.68
leave a marriage and
the believing spouse wants
00:30:08.69\00:30:11.41
to remarry can he or
she remarry without living
00:30:11.42\00:30:14.70
the rest of his or
her life in the perpetual
00:30:14.71\00:30:16.75
state of adultery
and how is the obligation
00:30:16.76\00:30:19.54
for the believer
to fight to keep the
00:30:19.55\00:30:21.25
marriage in tat.
Alright, so anyway you see the,
00:30:21.26\00:30:24.59
the relationship
issues here that people are
00:30:25.01\00:30:27.22
having and John I
believe it is indicative
00:30:27.23\00:30:29.75
of the relationships
many who are listening to
00:30:30.42\00:30:33.24
this program, who
are viewing this program
00:30:33.25\00:30:35.79
as well have
today you are a pastor,
00:30:35.80\00:30:40.01
I'm a pastor I think
the biggest, the largest
00:30:40.02\00:30:43.19
number of, the largest
type of counseling that
00:30:43.20\00:30:46.07
we do has to deal
with relationships.
00:30:46.08\00:30:49.55
That's right, you
know it's correct.
00:30:49.56\00:30:51.46
The problems that we
have in Churches today
00:30:51.47\00:30:53.73
usually stems
from relationships.
00:30:55.05\00:30:57.56
So, that's why I
think we were compelled
00:30:58.52\00:31:01.26
to do this
program on relationships
00:31:01.27\00:31:02.96
because it needs,
it needs coverage,
00:31:02.97\00:31:05.53
it needs, we need to
talk about relationships
00:31:05.54\00:31:08.27
and how to, how to
manage our relationships?
00:31:08.28\00:31:10.42
Manage not in the
negative concept. Right.
00:31:10.43\00:31:12.54
But how we approach relationship
00:31:12.55\00:31:14.13
to make it healthy,
to make it all that God
00:31:14.14\00:31:17.02
wants it to be
because ultimately a
00:31:17.03\00:31:18.95
relationship
starts with the Lord.
00:31:18.96\00:31:21.26
That's right. He is the
author of relationships;
00:31:21.27\00:31:23.48
it's the only
reason why we were created,
00:31:23.49\00:31:25.13
so we could have a
relationship with us.
00:31:25.14\00:31:27.56
So, therefore the
other second half of the law,
00:31:27.57\00:31:30.02
how do we have
relationships with
00:31:30.03\00:31:31.76
others? That's a
very good point, I was
00:31:31.77\00:31:34.26
thinking that very
same thought and so,
00:31:34.27\00:31:35.77
what we're gonna do
is we're gonna segue
00:31:35.78\00:31:36.89
from our questions
which thank you for
00:31:36.90\00:31:38.77
the bridge that
takes us over into our,
00:31:38.78\00:31:40.34
our actual topic
but, but if you have any
00:31:40.35\00:31:42.92
questions that
have come to your mind
00:31:42.93\00:31:44.82
during this program
or during this question
00:31:44.83\00:31:46.98
time you can send
those questions to
00:31:46.99\00:31:48.76
housecalls@3ABN.org, that's
00:31:48.77\00:31:50.79
housecalls@3ABN.org
and we will get
00:31:50.80\00:31:54.21
those questions
answered in a timely
00:31:54.22\00:31:56.11
manner so keep
watching the program
00:31:56.12\00:31:57.95
for that. John I
was so, I thought
00:31:57.96\00:32:02.42
providential of
you to mention the
00:32:02.43\00:32:04.59
relationship
context. Let's look at the
00:32:04.60\00:32:07.03
model for
relationships and you know
00:32:07.04\00:32:08.74
the Bible talks
about this in Matthew 22
00:32:08.75\00:32:10.59
where it says: Love
the Lord your God with
00:32:10.60\00:32:13.30
all your heart and
then you can love your
00:32:13.31\00:32:16.70
neighbor as yourself. Right.
00:32:16.71\00:32:18.40
You made that
wonderfully clear that the
00:32:19.01\00:32:22.52
first obligation we
have is, loving God. Now,
00:32:22.53\00:32:25.13
John I believe and
I think that we could
00:32:25.14\00:32:27.23
agree on this, I
believe that you can agree
00:32:27.24\00:32:29.22
with us on this
whether you're listening
00:32:29.23\00:32:30.80
or watching the
program that, if we have a love
00:32:30.81\00:32:34.56
relationship with God
He has so filled us that
00:32:34.57\00:32:38.69
it is so much easier
to love our neighbors
00:32:38.70\00:32:41.96
as we love
ourselves. Right. But if we
00:32:41.97\00:32:45.29
don't have a love
relationship with God
00:32:45.30\00:32:46.89
and we're trying
to love people without
00:32:46.90\00:32:48.30
the love of God
or the power of God
00:32:48.31\00:32:49.91
available to us,
we can't do it because
00:32:49.92\00:32:51.97
it's just not
human. Right, you know
00:32:51.98\00:32:54.14
and this is modeled, yeah,
00:32:54.15\00:32:55.53
in the life of
Christ. Christ is the one
00:32:55.54\00:32:58.06
that we emulate.
We're Christians,
00:32:58.07\00:33:00.48
Christians, we're
followers of Christ,
00:33:00.49\00:33:02.99
we do what Christ taught us and
00:33:03.00\00:33:05.08
think about Christ's
life, I mean how many times
00:33:05.09\00:33:07.60
did you find that
Christ hated someone
00:33:07.61\00:33:10.64
and spout out anger or
angry words at somebody
00:33:10.65\00:33:14.26
or reacted harshly
or, or in a way that
00:33:14.27\00:33:17.22
damaged and broke
down relationships.
00:33:17.23\00:33:19.21
You know Jesus
never did that because why
00:33:19.22\00:33:22.44
His relationship with
His Father was so strong
00:33:22.45\00:33:24.99
and because His
relationship with
00:33:25.68\00:33:27.26
His Father was so
strong and the Spirit
00:33:27.27\00:33:29.21
of God, the Holy
Spirit was so in Him
00:33:29.22\00:33:32.37
and filled Him and
He walked in the Spirit
00:33:32.38\00:33:34.66
that even in the
face of enemies John,
00:33:34.67\00:33:37.66
and conflict and
stress and the Cross.
00:33:37.67\00:33:42.17
He yet managed and handled those
00:33:43.22\00:33:45.85
relationships and
obey that show that He
00:33:45.86\00:33:48.71
is a God of Love.
So, shouldn't it be that
00:33:48.72\00:33:52.65
way in our own relationships no
00:33:52.66\00:33:54.17
matter what kind of
relationships they are,
00:33:54.18\00:33:55.54
right, I believe it
should. That's right
00:33:55.55\00:33:57.97
when the Lord
talks about the greatest
00:33:57.98\00:33:59.79
evidence of love
in Matthew chapter 12,
00:33:59.80\00:34:03.78
Mark chapter 12 and verse 31,
00:34:04.83\00:34:07.22
I like this he
says. And the 2nd is like
00:34:07.23\00:34:11.32
it or like this.
You shall love your
00:34:11.33\00:34:14.79
neighbor as
yourself and this is amazing
00:34:14.80\00:34:17.71
there is no other
commandment greater
00:34:17.72\00:34:20.34
than these. Loving
the Lord Your God with
00:34:20.35\00:34:22.45
all Your heart, mind,
soul and strength. Well,
00:34:22.46\00:34:24.44
if you do that how
do, how do you have
00:34:24.45\00:34:25.56
love left for your neighbor?
00:34:25.57\00:34:26.68
Because if you
love your neighbor as
00:34:27.03\00:34:28.67
much as you
love yourself that's,
00:34:28.68\00:34:31.27
that's the key, if
you think of the love
00:34:31.28\00:34:33.52
that God has given
to you then that love
00:34:33.53\00:34:36.27
activates the
love for your neighbor.
00:34:36.28\00:34:37.88
There is no greater
commandment than that,
00:34:37.89\00:34:39.55
but at the core at
the foundation of this
00:34:39.56\00:34:44.37
issue is a hard
heart, at the foundation
00:34:44.38\00:34:48.60
of this issue we
talked about this before
00:34:48.61\00:34:50.34
the program and
I, and I'll give you
00:34:50.35\00:34:51.80
the room here to
emphasize or expand
00:34:51.81\00:34:54.23
on that is
people just want to have
00:34:54.24\00:34:56.22
their own way.
You know, people want
00:34:56.23\00:34:58.78
to, I notice when
I'm, I couple, I marriage,
00:34:58.79\00:35:02.75
I do a lot of
marriage counseling to
00:35:02.76\00:35:04.97
married couples
and I notice that when,
00:35:04.98\00:35:07.49
when the, when
the situation is hot
00:35:07.50\00:35:09.96
or when it's
freezing in another words,
00:35:09.97\00:35:13.96
hot tempered or cold emotions.
00:35:13.97\00:35:16.31
I don't care
anymore giving up, yeah.
00:35:16.32\00:35:17.93
They both want to
be seen as right. Yeah.
00:35:18.96\00:35:21.65
And it's not so
much the same person
00:35:21.66\00:35:23.58
that you married
many years ago or
00:35:23.59\00:35:26.87
few years ago,
it's not the same person
00:35:26.88\00:35:28.69
that you loved or,
or valued your love
00:35:28.70\00:35:30.95
to it's like you
almost mortal enemies.
00:35:30.96\00:35:33.11
And so, the thing
that people seek to do
00:35:33.83\00:35:35.69
is to maintain
their, their, I'm innocent
00:35:35.70\00:35:39.31
in the eyes of everybody else.
00:35:39.32\00:35:40.82
While they're
crucifying a fresh,
00:35:40.83\00:35:42.51
while they're
crucifying all over that person
00:35:42.52\00:35:44.90
they vowed to love
and cherish and honored
00:35:44.91\00:35:46.31
and, and, and,
and support, so we got
00:35:46.32\00:35:49.93
to get to the point of what is,
00:35:49.94\00:35:51.61
what does it take to
have a viable relationship?
00:35:51.62\00:35:53.92
What does it take
for that love that seems
00:35:53.93\00:35:57.51
impossible to give
to be possible to give?
00:35:57.52\00:36:00.49
That's right. In a
relationship setting.
00:36:00.50\00:36:02.06
I think one of the
biggest things that
00:36:02.92\00:36:04.65
we do in
counseling is try to get them
00:36:04.66\00:36:08.69
to turn from a selfish view,
00:36:08.70\00:36:10.89
a very
self-centered view which is what
00:36:10.90\00:36:13.71
they want to get
out of the marriage
00:36:13.72\00:36:16.07
to how they can
put into the marriage,
00:36:16.08\00:36:19.89
which is a very giving view?
00:36:19.90\00:36:22.56
So, rather than
taking from the relationship,
00:36:22.57\00:36:25.24
they turn their
heart more toward putting
00:36:25.25\00:36:27.69
into or giving into
the marriage and when
00:36:27.70\00:36:31.62
all you want to
do is to take, take,
00:36:31.63\00:36:33.06
take at some point
there's just nothing
00:36:33.07\00:36:34.42
left. And it's a
very selfish thing,
00:36:34.43\00:36:36.47
it's as you
meet, and as you begin
00:36:36.48\00:36:39.58
to talk to a lot of
couples you're right,
00:36:39.59\00:36:41.91
they want to
defend their position,
00:36:41.92\00:36:43.23
they wanna see
and show you why the
00:36:43.24\00:36:44.98
other person is
wrong and they are right.
00:36:44.99\00:36:47.27
And the first
thing you've, we try
00:36:47.87\00:36:50.55
to do after listening
of course for a period
00:36:50.56\00:36:52.20
of time is to try
and turn this into what
00:36:52.21\00:36:57.81
do I need to do to improve the
00:36:57.82\00:37:00.21
relationship.
Even though I may have
00:37:00.22\00:37:02.34
been wrong and
there are legitimate
00:37:02.35\00:37:04.23
spouses that have been wronged
00:37:04.24\00:37:06.13
by the other and
they had every argument
00:37:06.14\00:37:07.88
to get for that,
but no matter what has
00:37:07.89\00:37:10.03
happened there
even Jesus forgave His,
00:37:10.04\00:37:12.81
those who were crucifying Him?
00:37:12.82\00:37:14.21
How do we forgive
and then in a way,
00:37:14.22\00:37:17.44
how do we turn
our heart more toward
00:37:17.45\00:37:20.12
putting into the
relationships something
00:37:20.13\00:37:22.18
that we have not
putting into it to get
00:37:22.19\00:37:24.48
it to go to the
next level? The level of
00:37:24.49\00:37:26.47
intimacy that
God wants us to have.
00:37:26.48\00:37:28.49
We're talking now
about the marriage
00:37:28.50\00:37:30.25
it seem to be going
into more the marriage
00:37:30.26\00:37:32.08
relationship here.
And so, John how can
00:37:32.09\00:37:35.36
'cause there are
couples out there who
00:37:35.37\00:37:38.07
are fighting, who are battling,
00:37:38.08\00:37:39.42
who are struggling
with their marriages?
00:37:39.43\00:37:40.97
What are some
things they can do to
00:37:41.25\00:37:43.25
begin to put to look
at putting into their
00:37:43.26\00:37:46.79
marriage more than
taking out of their
00:37:46.80\00:37:50.08
marriage something
they want in a very selfish
00:37:50.09\00:37:53.46
perspective? No
matter how legitimate
00:37:53.47\00:37:55.08
their issue or
they're great maybe with
00:37:55.09\00:37:57.35
their spouse? How can they begin
00:37:57.36\00:37:59.36
to put in rather
than take out? Well,
00:37:59.37\00:38:01.58
I think one of
the first things that
00:38:01.59\00:38:02.56
we need to do John and speaking
00:38:02.57\00:38:04.55
to those who are
watching and listening to
00:38:04.56\00:38:05.92
the program. The
first thing we need
00:38:05.93\00:38:07.66
to do rather than
trying to accomplish
00:38:07.67\00:38:09.46
something in our human effort.
00:38:09.47\00:38:10.89
We've got to
literally stop and pray.
00:38:11.26\00:38:13.45
Lot of people don't
pray and ask the strength
00:38:14.47\00:38:16.34
'cause you know
what? If I said okay,
00:38:16.35\00:38:19.87
I'm angry with
you, here's what I'm
00:38:19.88\00:38:21.31
gonna do? Well,
you know you're not
00:38:21.32\00:38:22.82
capable of
accomplishing anything outside
00:38:22.83\00:38:24.82
of the power of
God. Right. That's made
00:38:24.83\00:38:26.03
available to you and
when Jesus says a pray
00:38:26.04\00:38:29.12
that you're into,
not into temptation.
00:38:29.13\00:38:30.84
The spirit is
willing, but the flesh is weak.
00:38:30.85\00:38:34.04
So somebody people may say, so
00:38:34.59\00:38:36.42
what you have to do is
if the Spirit is willing,
00:38:36.43\00:38:38.41
we have to pray
Lord we pray that your
00:38:38.42\00:38:41.76
Holy Spirit
will make me willing.
00:38:41.77\00:38:43.74
Lot of people no
willing. Lord change my spouse,
00:38:44.08\00:38:46.96
doesn't work. I mean
I see that and laugh,
00:38:47.60\00:38:52.28
but this is what
people are praying about
00:38:52.29\00:38:54.41
a lot of times in their prayers,
00:38:54.42\00:38:55.48
they're praying for
the other one. Right.
00:38:55.49\00:38:57.04
When they needed
to pray Lord help
00:38:57.05\00:38:58.79
me as I relate to
my spouse, help me
00:38:58.80\00:39:01.83
to be more loving
and kind and patient
00:39:01.84\00:39:03.69
and willing to work
on this relationship.
00:39:03.70\00:39:06.35
You know, we go
for microscope to,
00:39:06.36\00:39:08.09
to telescope when
it comes to looking
00:39:08.10\00:39:10.60
at the faults in
others. Yeah. And
00:39:10.61\00:39:12.09
sometimes we go down
to the cellular level
00:39:12.10\00:39:14.47
and in some cases it is true.
00:39:14.82\00:39:16.76
Some people are just
nit picky, some people
00:39:16.77\00:39:18.96
are na, na, na, na,
they will nag you to death.
00:39:18.97\00:39:21.21
Other people will
get angry and stay angry
00:39:21.40\00:39:23.14
and some people will
demand your allegiance,
00:39:23.15\00:39:25.87
no matter what they do to you,
00:39:25.88\00:39:26.97
they just want you
to be allegiant and
00:39:26.98\00:39:28.74
we've seen some
very toxic relationships.
00:39:28.75\00:39:30.92
I've seen some
situations where it seems
00:39:30.93\00:39:32.70
like it's impossible
it's almost like pouring
00:39:32.71\00:39:34.60
acid on a napkin, it
will consume the other
00:39:34.61\00:39:36.87
person instantly,
but once again if that
00:39:36.88\00:39:39.61
person
remembers, if you go back to
00:39:39.62\00:39:41.19
the beginning, if
you go back to the time
00:39:41.20\00:39:42.80
and the relationship was good.
00:39:42.81\00:39:43.84
I call it go on back as Dr. Gary
00:39:43.85\00:39:48.08
Chapman wrote a
book entitled The Four
00:39:48.09\00:39:49.91
Seasons of
Marriage. Great book I would
00:39:49.92\00:39:52.80
recommend anybody
getting that book because
00:39:52.81\00:39:54.46
it talks about the
winter, the spring,
00:39:54.47\00:39:56.88
the summer, and
the fall. Most people
00:39:56.89\00:40:00.05
don't consider
anything wrong with their
00:40:00.06\00:40:02.02
relationship till
about the end of the fall
00:40:02.03\00:40:03.97
and going into
cold dead winter. Right.
00:40:03.98\00:40:07.20
And if you notice
that in the winter time
00:40:07.21\00:40:08.55
trees are barren, trees
are without any foliage.
00:40:08.56\00:40:14.60
And you wonder how
on earth in the blast
00:40:14.61\00:40:17.72
of winter is that
tree is going to come
00:40:17.73\00:40:19.46
back to life. Well,
that tree hasn't die,
00:40:19.47\00:40:21.63
it just has become
recluse, it is now going
00:40:21.64\00:40:24.64
to, gone with the
self-preservation.
00:40:24.65\00:40:26.14
All of the life
is now on the inside
00:40:26.45\00:40:29.06
it's not showing on
the outside and here's
00:40:29.07\00:40:31.64
my point. We're
gonna go to some Bible
00:40:31.65\00:40:34.25
verses here. There
still life on the inside
00:40:34.26\00:40:37.25
when Christ is
there. Well, we have to pray
00:40:37.26\00:40:39.80
for the Lord to do is
to get us out of winter.
00:40:39.81\00:40:42.10
Get us into a
spring setting of our
00:40:42.91\00:40:45.27
relationship so that
the life that He knows,
00:40:45.28\00:40:47.93
He has put within
us will start showing
00:40:47.94\00:40:50.19
on the outside
through tend the words.
00:40:50.20\00:40:52.64
A principle one of
those is the Bible says,
00:40:52.65\00:40:56.11
pray for one
another. Let's go to James 5
00:40:57.08\00:41:00.49
and verse 16 and
this is something does,
00:41:00.50\00:41:03.00
it doesn't say pray
for one another in other
00:41:03.01\00:41:04.50
words, Lord I'm
praying that my husband
00:41:04.51\00:41:06.56
loses his temper
or I'm praying that my
00:41:06.57\00:41:08.96
gets her attitude
together. We're not
00:41:08.97\00:41:11.44
talking about
that. We're saying Lord,
00:41:11.45\00:41:13.42
I pray that I
could win my wife back.
00:41:13.43\00:41:15.98
I pray that I could
win my husband back,
00:41:15.99\00:41:18.36
I pray that I could
love my wife or my husband
00:41:18.37\00:41:20.78
the way that you've
called me to love them.
00:41:20.79\00:41:22.49
I pray that I can
see the best in them
00:41:22.50\00:41:25.10
and stop picking
them apart, but James 5
00:41:25.11\00:41:28.57
and verse 16. Now,
read that for me John.
00:41:28.58\00:41:30.53
Confess your
trespasses to one another,
00:41:32.31\00:41:34.17
and pray for one
another, that you maybe healed.
00:41:35.07\00:41:38.08
The effective,
fervent prayer of a righteous
00:41:38.70\00:41:40.59
man avails much.
Now, the three steps,
00:41:40.60\00:41:43.39
what's the first
thing? Confess to each other.
00:41:43.40\00:41:45.57
Okay. Your, your
faults and your trespasses,
00:41:45.58\00:41:47.73
that means
confess what you have done
00:41:47.74\00:41:50.47
to wrong to
somebody else. Right, now
00:41:50.48\00:41:52.59
what they've done
to wrong you. Right,
00:41:52.60\00:41:53.95
exactly. I like
somebody say you know,
00:41:53.96\00:41:55.86
you go to you and
say, okay we don't have,
00:41:55.87\00:41:58.22
we're two guys here,
but if, if I got to my
00:41:58.23\00:42:00.16
wife I don't say
honey I confess you really
00:42:00.17\00:42:02.88
have a bad temper. That's not.
00:42:02.89\00:42:04.79
That doesn't work.
That's not the confession.
00:42:04.80\00:42:06.28
Well, we try it,
but it doesn't work.
00:42:06.29\00:42:07.85
Honey, I confess
that you really know
00:42:07.86\00:42:09.79
how to dig into my
attitude; I confess
00:42:09.80\00:42:12.16
that you have a
bad attitude that's not
00:42:12.17\00:42:14.34
the confession.
Right, that's right.
00:42:14.35\00:42:16.23
You know, we say I
confess okay I have
00:42:16.24\00:42:19.84
done wrong and we
have get so specific
00:42:19.85\00:42:23.46
sometimes you
know, and that initial
00:42:23.47\00:42:26.04
breaking through the
ice, the hardest thing
00:42:26.05\00:42:28.68
to do is to think
that you're going to get
00:42:28.69\00:42:30.97
through the ice
on the first attempt,
00:42:30.98\00:42:33.31
but as better and
easier to melt eyes and
00:42:34.69\00:42:39.17
a whole lot less
effort then trying to break
00:42:39.18\00:42:41.55
through the ice.
You get that warm torch
00:42:41.56\00:42:44.69
of love that
warm torch of embrace,
00:42:44.70\00:42:46.84
the ice will melt a
lot faster than all the
00:42:46.85\00:42:49.59
activity and energy
you can do and trying
00:42:49.60\00:42:51.75
to break that eyes.
That's right. And so,
00:42:51.76\00:42:53.77
I'll start there
first of all praying for
00:42:53.78\00:42:57.03
one another. Well
and when you confess your
00:42:57.04\00:42:59.56
faults to someone
else and there when it
00:42:59.57\00:43:01.53
says you pray for one another.
00:43:01.54\00:43:02.75
I think the
context there is you're
00:43:02.76\00:43:05.16
communicating.
Right. Because you're
00:43:05.17\00:43:07.41
confessing into one another,
00:43:07.42\00:43:08.39
so as he transitions
to pray for one another,
00:43:08.40\00:43:10.88
there is a
praying together here. So,
00:43:10.89\00:43:13.77
what about you know as you're,
00:43:13.78\00:43:15.44
as you are
warmed, as you, as husband
00:43:15.45\00:43:18.33
and wife are
warm to each other and
00:43:18.34\00:43:19.77
confessing to
each other your faults?
00:43:19.78\00:43:21.20
What about then just
getting on your knees
00:43:21.83\00:43:24.65
and praying that
this situation that
00:43:24.66\00:43:26.43
your marriage,
the things that have
00:43:26.44\00:43:27.98
happened in your
marriage? Maybe it's
00:43:27.99\00:43:29.32
a specific
instance that has gone away
00:43:29.33\00:43:30.95
and, or things have
happened that are wrong
00:43:30.96\00:43:33.30
and, and maybe
praying about that
00:43:33.31\00:43:35.59
for each other and
I tell you there is
00:43:35.60\00:43:38.45
nothing like, you
know if I'm with Russell
00:43:38.46\00:43:40.95
and if we're praying together.
00:43:40.96\00:43:41.95
There's nothing
that a warmer heart to
00:43:42.35\00:43:44.00
me more than for
me to confess to God
00:43:44.01\00:43:46.73
in prayer her hearing
me, but I have wronged her.
00:43:46.74\00:43:50.03
Because then she
knows that I am then making
00:43:50.81\00:43:53.31
it right with God
and that God's blessings
00:43:53.32\00:43:56.59
then can flow from
that because it says that:
00:43:56.60\00:44:00.04
The effective,
fervent prayer of a righteous
00:44:01.76\00:44:02.99
man avails much. In order words,
00:44:03.00\00:44:04.79
it means that God
will move. That's right.
00:44:04.80\00:44:08.64
So, as I'm
confessing to the Lord my wrong
00:44:08.65\00:44:10.55
to somebody else and
they're hearing that,
00:44:10.56\00:44:12.53
it's her affirmation
that our relationship
00:44:12.54\00:44:15.43
is going
somewhere or God is going to
00:44:15.44\00:44:17.49
bless it because, if
she doesn't hear that
00:44:17.50\00:44:19.61
for me, if she
doesn't hear my confession.
00:44:19.62\00:44:21.35
She knows that the
Lord can't bless and
00:44:22.12\00:44:25.49
bring us together.
That's right. Because
00:44:25.50\00:44:27.07
I'm leaving him
out, I'm doing it my way.
00:44:27.08\00:44:29.35
So, there is a lot in
adverse, there is a lot
00:44:29.36\00:44:32.86
in adverse. And
then when it comes
00:44:32.87\00:44:34.03
to confessing to
one another don't throw
00:44:34.04\00:44:36.19
your hands up and say,
okay you, this is going
00:44:36.20\00:44:38.56
to hear, is this
what you want to hear,
00:44:38.57\00:44:40.02
I'm wrong okay, I've
confessed, I'm wrong,
00:44:40.03\00:44:42.08
okay I'm the
problem. That's not an
00:44:42.09\00:44:43.94
attitude of confession. Exactly.
00:44:43.95\00:44:45.58
That's not the
Spirit that Christ wants us
00:44:45.59\00:44:47.75
to have because
some people go from it's
00:44:47.76\00:44:50.42
your fault to
okay I'm wrong is that
00:44:50.43\00:44:52.81
what you want to
hear? Okay, fine I
00:44:52.82\00:44:53.88
have admitted it I'm wrong,
00:44:53.89\00:44:55.49
I'm the problem,
and nothing really get
00:44:55.50\00:44:57.47
solved because
what happens is they go
00:44:57.48\00:44:59.33
from crucifying the
person to crucifying
00:44:59.34\00:45:01.64
themselves, it's
this pendulum swing that
00:45:01.65\00:45:04.50
goes from one extreme
all the way to the other
00:45:04.51\00:45:08.18
and it's just as bad
as, you know it's like you
00:45:08.19\00:45:10.85
switch places and
the spouse will say.
00:45:10.86\00:45:13.63
Oh! Look, I'm not
saying that you are
00:45:13.64\00:45:14.95
the total
problem, oh! Yes, you are
00:45:14.98\00:45:16.85
and I'm taking
total blame for this one
00:45:16.86\00:45:19.07
nothing gets done.
Yeah. So, just you got
00:45:19.08\00:45:22.08
to pray for that
passion to calm down and
00:45:22.09\00:45:24.80
that the criticism
to calm down and one of
00:45:24.81\00:45:27.81
the first things I
say is you've to give full
00:45:27.82\00:45:29.89
attention to
your spouse, to your,
00:45:29.90\00:45:31.89
to your partner
because you know what John?
00:45:31.90\00:45:34.48
I have discovered
this when relationship
00:45:35.13\00:45:36.98
start going bad,
people give more attention
00:45:36.99\00:45:39.69
to the phone than
to their partner. Yeah,
00:45:39.70\00:45:43.82
and friends with listening ears.
00:45:43.83\00:45:46.23
And they, they
pull together an army of
00:45:46.92\00:45:49.85
people that agree
with them without hearing
00:45:49.86\00:45:52.08
the other side.
To affirm their own
00:45:52.09\00:45:54.28
conclusion of
what's going wrong.
00:45:54.29\00:45:56.87
So, they can get
their way. And even
00:45:56.88\00:45:58.51
more than that what
we find and you know
00:45:58.71\00:46:01.05
there is articles
out there on the internet
00:46:01.06\00:46:03.31
about you know how to make your
00:46:03.32\00:46:04.29
relationships
stronger and so forth and to
00:46:04.30\00:46:07.12
the last one what
you will find is they say
00:46:07.13\00:46:09.47
that as you're
communicating these
00:46:09.48\00:46:11.67
confessions, these
issues between each other,
00:46:11.68\00:46:13.63
if you, most of
the time when you don't
00:46:13.96\00:46:16.30
get anywhere,
what's happening is
00:46:16.31\00:46:18.29
that you are
thinking of a next thing
00:46:18.30\00:46:20.70
you're going to
say without really
00:46:20.71\00:46:21.95
listening to your
spouse. Right. So, as your
00:46:21.96\00:46:24.70
spouse is voicing
maybe their concern or,
00:46:24.71\00:46:27.03
or how they've
been wronged because
00:46:27.04\00:46:29.03
that is a Matthew 18
principle right. Right.
00:46:29.04\00:46:31.09
Go to someone;
let him know how they
00:46:31.10\00:46:32.25
have wronged you?
Right. So, as you're
00:46:32.26\00:46:34.02
doing that instead
of getting defensive,
00:46:34.03\00:46:36.90
how to build the relationship is
00:46:36.91\00:46:38.61
to listen to their
issue, the complaint
00:46:38.62\00:46:42.88
that they have. And
then respect them enough
00:46:42.89\00:46:46.22
to then examine
yourself and to agree that
00:46:46.23\00:46:51.42
you may have some
part to play in this.
00:46:51.43\00:46:54.34
Oh! Yeah. Not
thinking of how you're going
00:46:54.35\00:46:56.21
to defend with
what they do to you,
00:46:56.22\00:46:58.56
well you do this
and now, well you'd,
00:46:58.57\00:47:00.93
you know just
escalates from there.
00:47:00.94\00:47:02.35
That's not
respecting each other,
00:47:02.36\00:47:03.60
that's not minding
your manners, that's, that's
00:47:03.61\00:47:06.14
not communicating
effectively that is
00:47:06.15\00:47:08.30
not God's way of
having a marriage
00:47:08.31\00:47:10.90
relationship. And you know John,
00:47:10.91\00:47:12.98
the other thing
that's very good point.
00:47:12.99\00:47:14.69
The other thing that
when we read the Bible
00:47:14.70\00:47:16.29
and we look at
principles, sometimes
00:47:16.30\00:47:17.56
we wonder why the
Bible give so much
00:47:17.57\00:47:19.20
advice to the
husband and not to the wife.
00:47:19.21\00:47:20.98
You know for
example here in Colossians 3
00:47:21.57\00:47:24.30
and verse 19 it
says: Husbands love your
00:47:24.31\00:47:28.63
wives and do not
be bitter toward them
00:47:28.64\00:47:32.23
and it says, wives
submit to your own husbands
00:47:32.24\00:47:35.91
as is fitting in
the Lord. Okay, you find
00:47:35.92\00:47:39.77
verse 18 submitting.
The Bible, the context
00:47:39.78\00:47:44.11
of this was written
in the, in the culture in
00:47:44.12\00:47:46.78
which women were
submissive to their
00:47:46.79\00:47:49.48
husbands and the
sense of the husband
00:47:49.49\00:47:52.85
was truly the
head of the home, but
00:47:52.86\00:47:55.34
in the western
society where you have
00:47:55.35\00:47:57.60
both working
outside of the home, both
00:47:57.61\00:47:59.97
bringing in an
income. We have a society
00:47:59.98\00:48:02.56
where we teach
our equal rights for
00:48:02.57\00:48:05.35
equal pay not a
bad, not a bad philosophy
00:48:05.36\00:48:07.65
at all, if could drive
a, if could drive a bus,
00:48:07.66\00:48:09.47
you drive a bus,
would you get the same
00:48:09.48\00:48:10.85
amount of money?
Exactly. But what
00:48:10.86\00:48:12.90
happened is in
the western society;
00:48:12.91\00:48:14.33
many of the
principles that were intact
00:48:14.34\00:48:17.00
and in a force in
the days when this is
00:48:17.01\00:48:19.05
written are not
exercised here in America.
00:48:19.06\00:48:21.23
You know, you use
a phrase like, well
00:48:22.08\00:48:23.70
who wears the pants
in this home and both
00:48:23.71\00:48:25.90
are wearing pants
physically. You get
00:48:25.91\00:48:28.80
to the point where
who makes more money
00:48:28.81\00:48:30.68
or who is more
educated and all those
00:48:30.69\00:48:32.30
kinds of issues come
to the forefront and so,
00:48:32.31\00:48:34.71
therefore when it
says husbands love your
00:48:34.72\00:48:36.67
wives and do not
be bitter toward them.
00:48:36.68\00:48:38.44
We could expand
on that and say love
00:48:38.45\00:48:40.75
each other and do
not be bitter toward
00:48:40.76\00:48:42.81
each other. And
that's the principle
00:48:42.82\00:48:44.74
in the text don't
let the sun go down
00:48:44.75\00:48:46.78
on your wrath. Yes.
That applies to both of us.
00:48:46.79\00:48:49.35
And the
submission there, you were
00:48:49.36\00:48:51.10
mentioning is, is
another word for that really
00:48:51.11\00:48:54.29
is a respect in
meekness. Right. Really,
00:48:54.30\00:48:57.63
it's a, it' a acknowledging the
00:48:57.64\00:48:59.84
man's roleas the protector of
00:48:59.85\00:49:02.25
the family, the
strength of the family holding
00:49:02.26\00:49:06.28
it together, the
one kneading it and
00:49:06.29\00:49:07.79
making sure that
number one, spiritually stays
00:49:07.80\00:49:12.46
together, but
number two even physically
00:49:12.47\00:49:14.02
that he is the
protecting hand and arm
00:49:14.03\00:49:15.85
of that family.
Right. And a wife recognizes
00:49:15.86\00:49:18.71
that in out of
respect, submit or is, is
00:49:18.72\00:49:22.27
allowing him to
fulfill his role. Now,
00:49:22.28\00:49:25.62
the other part is
husbands love your
00:49:25.63\00:49:28.08
wives as Christ
loved the Church. Okay.
00:49:28.09\00:49:31.08
So, the issue there
is that it's a possible
00:49:31.09\00:49:33.69
that Christ knew
that husbands would have
00:49:33.70\00:49:36.21
trouble with their
protective strong self
00:49:36.22\00:49:39.80
would have to be
encouraged to love
00:49:40.55\00:49:43.32
their wives.
Yes, I believe that's
00:49:43.33\00:49:45.55
the case, men we
are hard. You know
00:49:45.56\00:49:50.16
most of us, I'm not
saying all of us, but
00:49:50.17\00:49:52.19
unless we work on
that how Christ loved
00:49:52.20\00:49:56.07
the Church part.
Tenders. The tender or
00:49:56.08\00:49:58.46
the kindness, the
meekness, the love
00:49:58.47\00:50:00.19
and the, the
compassion then we will not
00:50:00.20\00:50:02.93
be able to love
our wives as we do.
00:50:02.94\00:50:05.76
We will default right
to that sinful strength
00:50:05.77\00:50:09.09
that part of us it
says, hey I'm in control,
00:50:09.10\00:50:11.99
you listen to me.
That was never God's design
00:50:12.00\00:50:14.57
that a man would
have to step up to his
00:50:14.58\00:50:16.04
wife and say,
listen I'm the head of
00:50:16.05\00:50:17.52
this household,
and you listen to me
00:50:17.53\00:50:18.78
and you sit back
and do what I tell you
00:50:18.79\00:50:20.12
to do? That's not
the context in which God
00:50:20.13\00:50:23.53
is saying wives
submit to your husbands
00:50:23.54\00:50:25.52
that is abuse.
That's Right. And so,
00:50:25.53\00:50:28.48
we need to be
aware as husbands that
00:50:28.49\00:50:30.44
we're doing our part to
love our wives as Christ
00:50:30.45\00:50:33.36
loved the Church.
And so, when it says
00:50:33.37\00:50:35.29
submit yourselves
unto your own husbands,
00:50:35.30\00:50:37.72
the context is as unto
the Lord. That's right.
00:50:37.73\00:50:41.31
You're submitting
to a loving husband.
00:50:41.32\00:50:43.02
Yours, you're not
submitting to a tyrant
00:50:43.47\00:50:45.68
and vice versa, any
submission at all to
00:50:45.69\00:50:49.04
the other is done
in love. That's right.
00:50:49.05\00:50:51.79
Be not in fear that
if I don't submit to you,
00:50:51.80\00:50:54.60
what' gonna happen to
me? Right, never that.
00:50:54.61\00:50:57.22
Yeah if you do that
it's like. And that's the sad
00:50:57.23\00:51:00.96
part is that's what
the word has taken on
00:51:00.97\00:51:02.82
in this context
in modern days. Yeah.
00:51:02.83\00:51:04.90
Submission is really
this context of what else,
00:51:04.91\00:51:07.64
but that's not really
the Biblical word to submit.
00:51:07.65\00:51:10.42
And people start
reviewing the laws of a
00:51:10.43\00:51:12.27
land to see how I
can come out ahead
00:51:12.28\00:51:13.70
of the other, but let
me give you a couple of,
00:51:13.71\00:51:15.58
of couple of
pointers here that we're gonna
00:51:15.59\00:51:17.19
build on, one when
you're communicating,
00:51:17.20\00:51:19.40
when you're
communicating and anything
00:51:19.41\00:51:21.06
is to maintain
the context that God
00:51:21.07\00:51:23.57
intends, give full attention to
00:51:23.58\00:51:25.97
your partner when
he or she is speaking.
00:51:25.98\00:51:28.48
Some people turn the
television up real high,
00:51:29.21\00:51:31.62
some people on the phone, yeah,
00:51:31.63\00:51:33.31
yeah, yeah,
whatever, whatever they're
00:51:33.32\00:51:35.49
complaining to the
mother-in-law or their
00:51:35.50\00:51:37.09
friend or whomever
is on the other end
00:51:37.10\00:51:38.68
of the line or
they're calling their moms and
00:51:38.69\00:51:41.17
dads and brothers
and sisters and friends
00:51:41.18\00:51:42.83
and officials and
they are on the phone
00:51:42.84\00:51:45.12
and the other one is
saying, don't destroy
00:51:45.13\00:51:47.24
because what
happens John? I look at
00:51:47.25\00:51:49.06
relationships like
a pillow, a feather
00:51:49.07\00:51:50.73
pillow. You've heard
the illustration before
00:51:50.74\00:51:52.85
in other context,
but sometimes people will
00:51:52.86\00:51:55.05
take each other
and they'll beat their
00:51:55.06\00:51:56.73
feathers out of
each other and that that
00:51:56.74\00:51:59.63
represents
complaining and spreading all
00:51:59.64\00:52:02.51
these statements
about each other and
00:52:02.52\00:52:04.39
the wind takes it
and carries it away and
00:52:04.40\00:52:06.86
then. So much
damage has done, how do
00:52:06.87\00:52:08.67
you put the
feathers back in the pillow?
00:52:08.68\00:52:09.92
You can't, everybody
will, some people will
00:52:09.93\00:52:12.94
go with the
attitude that oh! John is a
00:52:12.95\00:52:14.95
terrible guy. You
know Lomacang, Stanton
00:52:14.96\00:52:18.09
are awful guys and
you have finally got your
00:52:18.10\00:52:21.02
issue together.
You and your wife have
00:52:21.03\00:52:22.27
resolved things and
it's all put together,
00:52:22.28\00:52:23.83
but people still go
away with all those feathers.
00:52:23.84\00:52:26.03
They think that
you're still the worst. Yeah,
00:52:26.04\00:52:27.60
and it gets out
there so, I would say keep
00:52:27.61\00:52:29.39
it between the
two of you and, if you
00:52:29.40\00:52:30.90
can keep it between
the two of you between
00:52:30.91\00:52:33.01
you and the Lord
and get a counselor
00:52:33.02\00:52:34.76
or a pastor, but
please whatever you do,
00:52:34.77\00:52:37.59
do not enlist
friends, do not enlist family
00:52:37.60\00:52:42.05
members, do not
enlist people that are going
00:52:42.06\00:52:44.17
to be bias. And let me
just also add this part,
00:52:44.18\00:52:46.90
if you are related
to the person who is in
00:52:47.24\00:52:49.46
a problem and you
start giving advice.
00:52:49.47\00:52:51.59
Don't ever think
that you could be seen
00:52:52.11\00:52:53.41
as not being biased.
That's right. You know,
00:52:53.42\00:52:55.36
if you're my brother
and you start giving advice
00:52:55.37\00:52:57.33
to my wife or vice
versa, if you're my wife's
00:52:57.34\00:53:00.60
sister and you
start giving advice to her
00:53:00.61\00:53:02.75
husband, there's
no way that you're not
00:53:02.76\00:53:04.53
gonna be seen as
bias. That's right.
00:53:04.54\00:53:05.98
There is no way,
sort of say, well I'm not
00:53:05.99\00:53:07.83
biased, see I'm
just talking about to how
00:53:07.84\00:53:09.91
I see it,
there's no way you cannot
00:53:09.92\00:53:11.60
be seen bias
because blood when it comes
00:53:11.61\00:53:14.11
to problems, people
see it is thicker than
00:53:14.12\00:53:15.71
water. And there
are levels as a problem
00:53:15.72\00:53:18.08
begins. Right. There
are levels that this spouse
00:53:18.09\00:53:22.49
can take it to
and so, we're talking
00:53:22.50\00:53:24.63
about keeping that from
going to the next level.
00:53:24.64\00:53:27.43
Don't let it get
beyond your dear friends,
00:53:27.44\00:53:29.68
and family work on
at yourself, let God
00:53:29.69\00:53:31.96
be your guide and put
Him at the head of this,
00:53:31.97\00:53:34.81
He'll help to correct
and reconcile the issue
00:53:34.82\00:53:37.28
between you. You
know, one of the things
00:53:37.29\00:53:38.86
here too that we that I
just want to mention is,
00:53:38.87\00:53:41.47
sure, not over doing
things. Okay. You know;
00:53:41.48\00:53:45.63
blowing mounting
out of a mount hill kind
00:53:45.64\00:53:47.59
of thing, don't
blow things something
00:53:47.60\00:53:49.32
up that really isn't so
big. Out of the portion.
00:53:49.33\00:53:51.79
Here's, here's one
example someone said
00:53:53.64\00:53:54.92
this to me
recently, if I can remember
00:53:54.93\00:53:56.43
it correctly you
know, do you ever speak
00:53:56.44\00:53:58.51
before you wonder, if
you can really remember
00:53:58.52\00:54:00.06
what you're backing
or we're gonna reference,
00:54:00.07\00:54:01.32
but let me think
about it here for a second.
00:54:01.33\00:54:02.86
We have to be
careful not to offend others,
00:54:02.87\00:54:07.59
but we also have to
be careful not to be
00:54:08.53\00:54:12.44
offended by others.
Very good one. See. Okay.
00:54:12.45\00:54:16.66
So, there is both sides to this.
00:54:16.67\00:54:18.99
There are people
who are quick to offend,
00:54:19.58\00:54:21.47
but you know
people who are quick to be
00:54:21.48\00:54:24.04
offended and they
will take something
00:54:24.05\00:54:26.50
that someone
doesn't intent to say, maybe
00:54:26.51\00:54:29.76
words that aren't
well chosen, but the
00:54:29.77\00:54:32.13
intention is into
really you know, be taking
00:54:32.14\00:54:36.12
it as, as they
have and they'll be so
00:54:36.13\00:54:38.66
offended that
they will turn it into
00:54:38.67\00:54:41.10
something huge.
Right. When that person
00:54:41.11\00:54:43.43
simply said something, maybe not
00:54:43.44\00:54:44.96
describing it
well, but said something
00:54:44.97\00:54:46.40
they really didn't
mean to say. I can tell
00:54:46.41\00:54:49.34
you sometimes and you now,
00:54:49.35\00:54:50.49
we can let little
tidbits about our relationships,
00:54:50.50\00:54:53.58
but probably when I early on my
00:54:53.59\00:54:55.46
relationship
with Russell. Probably
00:54:55.47\00:54:57.78
one of the things
that God is into these
00:54:57.79\00:54:59.36
little arguments sometimes was
00:54:59.37\00:55:00.70
that I or her
would use words that we
00:55:00.71\00:55:04.14
didn't really, we
weren't really good at
00:55:04.15\00:55:06.36
describing. Loaded
words sometimes. Yeah,
00:55:06.37\00:55:08.97
or just
something like for example,
00:55:08.98\00:55:12.79
that's obnoxious.
Well, then the response
00:55:14.45\00:55:18.01
would be, you
called me obnoxious.
00:55:18.02\00:55:21.15
No, I didn't call
you obnoxious, I said
00:55:22.28\00:55:24.37
what you were doing
there was bother some.
00:55:24.38\00:55:26.82
Oops, excuse me
wrong word not obnoxious
00:55:26.83\00:55:29.12
and then it goes
from there you see,
00:55:29.13\00:55:30.43
I'm just use an
example that things can
00:55:30.44\00:55:33.75
start and then fuel
and someone's offend and
00:55:33.76\00:55:35.92
then someone's
gonna offend again then
00:55:35.93\00:55:37.36
it becomes a
fight, let's be tempered
00:55:37.37\00:55:39.66
and how we
communicate? Whatsoever
00:55:40.39\00:55:43.26
things are true I
mention that verse before
00:55:43.27\00:55:45.12
in the last time?
Philippians 4:8. Yes,
00:55:45.13\00:55:47.15
Philippians 4:8:
Whatsoever things
00:55:47.16\00:55:48.26
are true. Don't
read the motives of what
00:55:48.27\00:55:51.65
someone is saying,
don't read into the words
00:55:51.66\00:55:54.85
as what they're
saying is how you've
00:55:54.86\00:55:57.69
interpreted because
they may not be meaning
00:55:57.70\00:55:59.33
how you've taken it.
Find out what's true?
00:55:59.34\00:56:01.75
Communicate with
them on a one-to-one
00:56:01.76\00:56:03.65
level and make
sure you don't just blow
00:56:03.66\00:56:05.63
everythingout of
proportion. Don't be
00:56:05.64\00:56:07.48
easily offended
and make sure you try
00:56:07.49\00:56:09.20
not to offend. Very,
very well, very well put,
00:56:09.21\00:56:13.56
I wanna give you a
kind of a list sort of
00:56:13.57\00:56:15.80
speak as we wind up
this portion of our program.
00:56:15.81\00:56:17.85
And by the way,
we're not gonna end
00:56:18.00\00:56:20.00
it on here, we're
gonna try to cover this
00:56:20.01\00:56:21.41
in another program,
in an upcoming program
00:56:21.42\00:56:23.07
'cause there's so
much about relationships,
00:56:23.08\00:56:24.76
we can do this whole
year long, yeah, but one
00:56:24.77\00:56:26.95
gearfull attention
to your partner when he
00:56:26.96\00:56:28.63
or she is talking to
you. One focus, number
00:56:28.64\00:56:31.46
two focused on the good
qualities in that person
00:56:31.47\00:56:33.85
and praise them for
it, three, be assertive.
00:56:34.19\00:56:37.10
In other words,
don't be afraid to say what
00:56:37.11\00:56:38.60
you must say, but do
so in love and kindly
00:56:38.61\00:56:41.55
avoid criticism, but
if you must talk about
00:56:41.56\00:56:45.03
the negative,
don't forget to talk,
00:56:45.04\00:56:46.26
also talk about the positive.
00:56:46.27\00:56:47.44
Listen to
understand and not to judge.
00:56:48.04\00:56:49.89
Use active
listening; make sure that you
00:56:50.64\00:56:52.36
hear what your
partner has said before you
00:56:52.37\00:56:54.56
respond and it's clear.
Avoid blaming each other
00:56:54.57\00:56:57.45
and work together
for a solution and then
00:56:57.46\00:56:59.61
use conflict resolution
and then seek counseling
00:56:59.62\00:57:04.01
from the Lord and from
a qualified counselor and
00:57:04.02\00:57:07.08
also from a pastor.
And you now friends,
00:57:07.09\00:57:09.14
when you turn your
life over to Christ,
00:57:09.15\00:57:10.70
all things are
possible, but remember First
00:57:10.71\00:57:13.30
Corinthians 15,
the principles they are
00:57:13.31\00:57:14.95
great love is long
suffering, it's kind,
00:57:14.96\00:57:17.93
it's not
boastful, it's not proud.
00:57:17.94\00:57:19.50
It doesn't seek its
own and when you live your
00:57:20.15\00:57:22.94
daily life to bring
out the love and the
00:57:22.95\00:57:25.00
kindness in each
other, the love of Christ
00:57:25.01\00:57:27.34
will be seen in
your life. And so, begin
00:57:27.35\00:57:28.79
today by knowing
the Lord who loves us
00:57:28.80\00:57:32.04
for who we are? God bless you
00:57:32.05\00:57:33.95
and have a great day.
00:57:33.96\00:57:35.16