I am told that that wall
behind me the Pendleton wall
00:00:01.06\00:00:04.12
extends 30 feet above the ground
00:00:04.15\00:00:06.73
and another 30
feet below the ground.
00:00:06.76\00:00:09.11
It's so high you
can't get over it.
00:00:09.14\00:00:11.23
It's so low you can't
get under it the song says.
00:00:11.26\00:00:13.84
You got to come in at the door.
00:00:13.87\00:00:15.14
That song talks about
the love of the Jesus.
00:00:15.17\00:00:17.69
God commences love towards us
00:00:17.72\00:00:19.81
in that while we're yet
sinners Christ died for us.
00:00:19.84\00:00:23.92
He gave His life for us
falling in love with Jesus
00:00:23.95\00:00:27.30
is the best
thing you can ever do.
00:00:27.33\00:00:29.76
Falling in love with Jesus
00:00:29.79\00:00:31.18
gives you a brand
new start on life.
00:00:31.21\00:00:33.38
Falling in love
with Jesus freeze you
00:00:33.41\00:00:36.40
from the trinity of
shame, the trinity of sin.
00:00:36.43\00:00:39.25
Even in prison you can
fall in love with Jesus
00:00:39.28\00:00:42.17
and be free in Him.
00:00:42.20\00:00:44.49
I am "Free Indeed."
00:00:57.33\00:01:01.15
Our gracious Heavenly Father,
00:01:01.18\00:01:02.82
we thank You Lord, for this day
00:01:02.85\00:01:04.55
and we shall
rejoice and be glad.
00:01:04.58\00:01:06.00
And as we come together, Lord,
00:01:06.03\00:01:07.84
we pray to no funny shape, form,
or fashion come into the midst.
00:01:07.87\00:01:10.85
We're here for one
purpose and one purpose only
00:01:10.88\00:01:12.89
and that is to magnify
and glorify Your holy name.
00:01:12.92\00:01:16.13
As we come
together, Lord, we pray that
00:01:16.16\00:01:18.02
You would come into the midst
and that You'll will show up
00:01:18.05\00:01:20.50
and show out in
a mighty way Lord,
00:01:20.53\00:01:22.39
that we would come in one way
and leave a whole lot better.
00:01:22.42\00:01:25.30
In Jesus name we pray, amen.
00:01:25.33\00:01:27.63
Praise the Lord this morning.
00:01:28.96\00:01:30.96
Falling in love with Jesus
00:01:33.27\00:01:40.00
Falling in love with Jesus
00:01:41.75\00:01:49.19
Falling in love with Jesus
00:01:50.36\00:01:57.28
Is the best thing
I've ever, ever done
00:01:57.31\00:02:03.28
Help me sing that
00:02:03.31\00:02:07.19
Falling in love with Jesus
00:02:07.22\00:02:13.40
Oh how sweet it is everyday
00:02:13.43\00:02:16.16
Falling in love with Jesus
00:02:16.19\00:02:21.46
Every single day
00:02:21.49\00:02:23.71
Falling in love with Jesus
00:02:23.74\00:02:30.37
Is the best thing
I've ever, ever done
00:02:30.40\00:02:35.94
Let's sing that one more time
00:02:35.97\00:02:37.20
Falling in love with Jesus
00:02:37.23\00:02:43.80
Falling in love with Jesus
00:02:48.27\00:02:53.96
Falling in love with Jesus
00:02:53.99\00:03:01.64
Is the best thing
I've ever, ever done
00:03:01.67\00:03:08.25
In His arms, I am protected
00:03:11.94\00:03:19.08
In His arms, I
never disconnected
00:03:20.33\00:03:27.45
In His arms, I am protected
00:03:28.45\00:03:35.06
There's no place
I'd rather, rather be
00:03:35.09\00:03:40.39
Oh Lord In His arms
00:03:40.42\00:03:45.91
I am protected In His arms,
00:03:47.58\00:03:54.37
I am never
disconnected In His arms,
00:03:55.66\00:04:02.67
I am protected
00:04:03.69\00:04:06.79
There's no place
I'd rather, rather be
00:04:06.82\00:04:13.40
In His arms,
00:04:13.43\00:04:17.06
I am protected In His arms,
00:04:19.40\00:04:27.29
I am never
disconnected In His arms,
00:04:27.32\00:04:34.98
I am protected In His arms,
00:04:35.01\00:04:41.01
I'd rather, rather be
00:04:41.04\00:04:44.77
Falling in love
00:04:44.80\00:04:48.55
Falling in love with Jesus
00:04:48.58\00:04:52.45
Oh how sweet it is everyday
00:04:52.48\00:04:55.97
Falling in love with Jesus
00:04:56.00\00:05:02.60
Falling in love with Jesus
00:05:03.91\00:05:09.07
Is the best thing
00:05:09.10\00:05:10.45
Is the best thing
I've ever, ever done
00:05:10.48\00:05:16.00
Is the best thing
00:05:16.03\00:05:17.98
Is the best thing
I've ever, ever done
00:05:18.01\00:05:23.68
Is the best thing
00:05:23.71\00:05:26.02
Is the best thing
I've ever, ever done
00:05:26.05\00:05:32.62
Oh, no, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah Hallelujah,
00:05:32.65\00:05:36.58
Hallelujah Hallelujah,
Hallelujah Hallelujah,
00:05:36.61\00:05:39.89
Give us some brain.
00:05:39.92\00:05:42.10
Amem, amen, amen.
00:05:42.13\00:05:43.39
I have never met
or known my father.
00:05:43.42\00:05:45.50
You know, but--
00:05:45.53\00:05:47.20
I was basically raised by
my grandmother and a neighbor.
00:05:47.23\00:05:52.31
I grew older, kind
of move away from it,
00:05:52.34\00:05:55.40
you know, gang in
the streets, you know.
00:05:55.43\00:05:57.55
If you like the streets like ah,
00:05:58.20\00:06:00.87
this is some that
I want to do or some,
00:06:00.90\00:06:02.70
you know, I feel like
I got to do being that
00:06:02.73\00:06:04.58
I only made it out.
00:06:04.61\00:06:06.21
So I just got to go out there
00:06:06.24\00:06:08.93
and do what the
other guys are doing.
00:06:08.96\00:06:10.98
You know, many--basically deal
with teenagers do out there,
00:06:11.01\00:06:15.37
you know, fight,
you know, smoke weed--
00:06:15.40\00:06:18.84
never really got
into all drugs but,
00:06:19.83\00:06:24.15
you know, I was
00:06:24.18\00:06:26.70
do what the crowd do
so to speak, you know.
00:06:26.73\00:06:29.91
Go home.
00:06:29.94\00:06:32.28
He was an individual that really
didn't want to beat up with
00:06:35.01\00:06:42.83
or want to do
depending on who ruined his day.
00:06:42.86\00:06:46.12
That's what it
bought down, ruin his day.
00:06:46.15\00:06:49.76
Some days might just
be happy going let loose.
00:06:49.79\00:06:55.54
We're birds of this
soul, one day you know,
00:06:55.57\00:06:58.28
the little bird of the soul
00:06:58.31\00:06:59.43
might turn to the
devil of another soul.
00:06:59.46\00:07:02.05
But I have learned
now that it was happening.
00:07:02.08\00:07:05.84
Because whatever I
do, not only impacts me
00:07:05.87\00:07:09.86
it impacts a lot of
other situations and people.
00:07:09.89\00:07:14.64
So if I just
stay, you know, grounded
00:07:14.67\00:07:18.02
and keep my head
in the right direction
00:07:18.05\00:07:21.04
I don't have to worry
about hurting no body.
00:07:21.07\00:07:23.88
We're now have a strong
father frequent in house
00:07:23.91\00:07:26.76
impact me the situation
where I felt it was madly
00:07:26.79\00:07:30.54
to go out there and
acquire manly knowledge.
00:07:30.57\00:07:35.04
You know, and
some of the figures
00:07:35.07\00:07:38.53
that I choose to follow
right were all of the best.
00:07:38.56\00:07:42.35
If I have accepted
Christ whole heartedly
00:07:42.38\00:07:45.04
and followed Him whole heartedly
00:07:45.07\00:07:47.71
there's no way I'm
getting in this situation.
00:07:47.74\00:07:50.65
You know, they made
it so bad, I knew well,
00:07:50.68\00:07:54.73
as in confidence in
me, knew what it was right
00:07:54.76\00:07:58.59
and decided to
take that easy route.
00:07:58.62\00:08:02.80
Easy route ain't so easy.
00:08:04.14\00:08:06.36
It got consequences too with it.
00:08:06.39\00:08:08.69
Open your heart,
00:08:08.72\00:08:10.63
the greatest thing you would do
in your life is open your heart
00:08:10.66\00:08:14.34
and let God into it.
00:08:15.48\00:08:18.24
And let that flower grow,
let that grow into something.
00:08:18.27\00:08:22.27
And you got to pour out
and be part of your life
00:08:23.43\00:08:28.09
and you'll be part of every body
else's life in a good aspect,
00:08:28.12\00:08:32.07
because money,
00:08:32.10\00:08:34.33
you would have all the money
in the world and not be happy.
00:08:34.36\00:08:37.70
You know, you would buy
a lot of things with money.
00:08:37.73\00:08:40.23
You can't buy God with
money. You can't buy love.
00:08:40.26\00:08:43.91
They say money can buy
you love but it really can't.
00:08:43.94\00:08:46.41
It's just...
00:08:46.44\00:08:48.20
put a candy note on top of it.
00:08:48.23\00:08:50.31
Because when an individual
love you for your money
00:08:50.34\00:08:52.40
and the individual
don't love you for you.
00:08:52.43\00:08:54.65
Then they had money
00:08:55.20\00:08:57.32
I said, well, look at I
have rather four people to love,
00:08:57.35\00:09:00.39
whooping for whooping.
00:09:00.42\00:09:02.27
Not 'cause I got a lot of money,
00:09:02.30\00:09:04.21
not 'cause I
could make pains happy
00:09:04.24\00:09:07.24
because I can't make them
happy without God in my life.
00:09:07.27\00:09:09.84
And if that means
00:09:10.87\00:09:11.91
that you'll love me for
the materialistic things
00:09:11.94\00:09:15.43
I don't need you, no.
00:09:15.46\00:09:17.59
Friends they are
there, they are gone,
00:09:18.89\00:09:22.09
God there always.
00:09:22.12\00:09:23.99
I joined a gang because
at the age of seven years old
00:09:32.97\00:09:35.88
I was sexually
molested by a family member.
00:09:35.91\00:09:38.37
And I learn that you
couldn't trust anyone
00:09:38.40\00:09:40.38
and like, you
know, I was on my own.
00:09:40.41\00:09:42.41
So at the age of 13,
00:09:42.44\00:09:44.50
I was out of my own
living on the streets.
00:09:44.53\00:09:46.84
I went away from
home numerous times.
00:09:46.87\00:09:48.69
My father was the--
heavy haul truck driver.
00:09:48.72\00:09:50.51
So I didn't get the love
and attention that I needed.
00:09:50.54\00:09:53.09
The streets became my
family that's all I knew
00:09:53.12\00:09:55.54
I love the
streets and they loved me.
00:09:55.57\00:09:57.94
So one turns to outside the home
00:09:57.97\00:10:01.41
when they don't fell love,
they don't feel comfortable,
00:10:01.44\00:10:03.59
they feel neglected,
00:10:03.62\00:10:05.20
they feel like
they don't matter.
00:10:05.23\00:10:07.94
What we fail to realize
as children at that time
00:10:07.97\00:10:11.22
is that our parent are
doing every thing that they can
00:10:11.25\00:10:14.20
in order to give
us a better life.
00:10:14.23\00:10:16.09
But we don't realize
what that is at that time.
00:10:16.12\00:10:18.05
We just know they're not there.
00:10:18.08\00:10:19.81
So in turn we want what we want
00:10:19.84\00:10:23.35
when we want it
for selfish reasons
00:10:23.38\00:10:25.73
because we're choosing
and that's all we know.
00:10:25.76\00:10:28.45
So when I joined
the gang it was--
00:10:28.48\00:10:32.78
I thought the grass was
greener on the other side
00:10:32.81\00:10:35.66
only to find out that it wasn't.
00:10:35.69\00:10:37.74
And all things that
I grew up believing in
00:10:37.77\00:10:40.50
was that loyalty, respect, love
00:10:40.53\00:10:44.85
that came from
the gang was all false
00:10:44.88\00:10:47.64
and imaginable to me
and I didn't know that.
00:10:47.67\00:10:50.75
But after 27 years today I do.
00:10:50.78\00:10:53.37
I would encourage any one today
before they turn to the streets
00:10:53.40\00:10:57.98
to take a look at what
the streets have to offer
00:10:58.01\00:11:00.37
and it's not what
we're looking for.
00:11:00.40\00:11:02.52
I've watched many
of my friends die.
00:11:02.55\00:11:05.01
I've watched many
of my friends get shot
00:11:05.04\00:11:07.14
and killed in front of me.
00:11:07.17\00:11:08.66
I have been stabbed.
00:11:08.69\00:11:10.52
I have lost a
child in the process.
00:11:10.55\00:11:14.04
And I completely
lost my whole family
00:11:14.07\00:11:16.04
and here it is 20 years later
00:11:16.07\00:11:17.52
that my family is
again put back together
00:11:17.55\00:11:19.61
and for a long time I
thought my family left me
00:11:19.64\00:11:23.46
until I realize
that they didn't leave me
00:11:23.49\00:11:25.80
and then they were
stop loving me I left them.
00:11:25.83\00:11:28.33
And from a parents
point of view right now
00:11:28.36\00:11:30.92
when I went to
the streets it was--
00:11:30.95\00:11:34.14
I believe that it
was easier for my parents
00:11:34.17\00:11:36.64
to act like I wasn't there
and that I was out on my own
00:11:36.67\00:11:40.48
rather for them to believe
every single day for their life.
00:11:40.51\00:11:45.10
Am I gonna get a phone
call that my child is dead.
00:11:45.13\00:11:48.20
Am I gonna get
a phone call that,
00:11:48.23\00:11:51.22
I don't know where she
is and what she's doing.
00:11:51.25\00:11:56.44
So today, I want to go
back out on to the streets
00:11:56.47\00:12:00.77
and show those children that
there's a better way of life.
00:12:00.80\00:12:02.78
And if I can give
one of them what I have
00:12:02.81\00:12:06.02
there's hope for tomorrow.
00:12:06.05\00:12:08.00
Before I came
into the GRIP program
00:12:08.03\00:12:09.94
and before I got,
them came to prison
00:12:09.97\00:12:11.64
actually I have
been to person before,
00:12:11.67\00:12:13.07
I went to prison in my 1998
00:12:13.10\00:12:15.28
and that was organized
for the charge in Florida.
00:12:15.31\00:12:18.94
And I grew up in New York City,
00:12:18.97\00:12:21.12
so as you can see
the pattern never change
00:12:21.15\00:12:23.13
I went from place to
place and city to city
00:12:23.16\00:12:25.34
doing what I
thought was best for my life
00:12:25.37\00:12:27.47
on the spree at the moment
00:12:27.50\00:12:29.70
never thinking
about what tomorrow maybe.
00:12:29.73\00:12:32.69
So my
prospective on life was that
00:12:32.72\00:12:34.36
I was doing every thing
right for all the right reasons
00:12:34.39\00:12:36.89
because it was
for self pleasure.
00:12:36.92\00:12:39.68
I didn't care who I hurt
because I hurt other people.
00:12:39.71\00:12:43.67
I hurt so why not hurt them.
00:12:43.70\00:12:48.36
I fought my way
through life a lot times
00:12:48.39\00:12:52.61
and before I came
here it was pretty much
00:12:52.64\00:12:59.66
I love the streets
and the streets loved me.
00:12:59.69\00:13:02.50
That was my home,
It was the fast life,
00:13:02.53\00:13:04.85
it was the
action, it was glamorous,
00:13:04.88\00:13:06.69
it was-- I had
everything I needed.
00:13:06.72\00:13:08.27
I had money, I had cars, I
had history with my friends.
00:13:08.30\00:13:14.23
But that's the highlights
00:13:14.26\00:13:15.29
now let me tell
you the lowlight of it.
00:13:15.32\00:13:17.62
I've lived in
street in New York City
00:13:17.65\00:13:19.89
underneath the
bridges as you think that
00:13:19.92\00:13:21.63
it just what you see in
the movies living on barrels
00:13:21.66\00:13:24.68
and in underneath
trying to stay warm.
00:13:24.71\00:13:26.36
That is real life.
00:13:26.39\00:13:27.81
I remember tearing up
books and try to stay warm
00:13:27.84\00:13:30.68
and boxes can only
keep you from the rain
00:13:30.71\00:13:33.76
so much you're
still gonna get wet.
00:13:33.79\00:13:35.55
Your clothes are wet
you're muggy, you stink
00:13:35.58\00:13:37.86
and you have to
sleep with one eye open
00:13:37.89\00:13:40.22
because you don't
know whose is gonna come
00:13:40.25\00:13:43.22
if you gonna
wake tomorrow morning.
00:13:43.25\00:13:45.38
That is not a way of
life for anyone to live
00:13:45.41\00:13:48.49
but it was my way of life and
I don't even know how I did it.
00:13:48.52\00:13:53.30
I don't know
how I am here today.
00:13:53.33\00:13:56.94
I know that through finding
00:13:56.97\00:14:00.26
it wasn't until I went to
lock in Rockville actually
00:14:00.29\00:14:04.08
where I've spend 17 days a lock
00:14:04.11\00:14:05.86
for putting my
hands on a young lady
00:14:05.89\00:14:08.17
for saying something to
me about slamming a locker.
00:14:08.20\00:14:13.36
Slamming a locker
and I got so mad and hit
00:14:13.39\00:14:15.79
and put my hands
on that young lady.
00:14:15.82\00:14:17.88
I spent 17 days in a lock.
00:14:17.91\00:14:20.22
And in that 17 days that I spent
in lock I had nowhere to turn.
00:14:20.25\00:14:24.92
I was lonely and the
funniest part about it
00:14:24.95\00:14:28.12
was that we were
allowed to have our radios
00:14:28.15\00:14:29.99
and our Bibles that's was it.
00:14:30.02\00:14:31.86
Everybody else on the
other side of the hall
00:14:31.89\00:14:34.17
got radio
stations that were hip-hop
00:14:34.20\00:14:37.82
and solo and jazz and rock.
00:14:37.85\00:14:40.20
The only radio station
00:14:40.23\00:14:41.26
that will come in on
mine was Christian music.
00:14:41.29\00:14:43.59
Had no other way to turn.
00:14:43.62\00:14:44.70
So as I began to pray
because I had nothing else to do
00:14:57.79\00:15:01.00
as I am listening to
this music I open my Bible
00:15:01.03\00:15:03.55
and I got the understanding
00:15:03.58\00:15:07.82
red was which I
was totally against
00:15:07.85\00:15:10.69
because of the gang life.
00:15:10.72\00:15:12.74
And you wouldn't believed
this but I am gonna tell you
00:15:12.77\00:15:15.07
what God told me
and its chokes me up.
00:15:15.10\00:15:18.24
We had to put on red suits to go
out of our cell at any anytime.
00:15:18.27\00:15:22.55
But I refused to put
it on because it was red.
00:15:22.58\00:15:26.13
But I wanted to take a shower
00:15:26.16\00:15:27.48
I wasn't coming
out of that shower,
00:15:27.51\00:15:29.66
out of that
room to take a shower
00:15:29.69\00:15:31.02
unless I put
that red jumpsuit on.
00:15:31.05\00:15:33.93
So when I was praying about
it I said, I am not doing it.
00:15:33.96\00:15:39.76
And I heard clear as
day that it it was my blood.
00:15:39.79\00:15:44.44
The color of my
blood washed away your sins
00:15:44.47\00:15:47.30
and that was at that
point as I put that red on
00:15:47.33\00:15:49.94
to go take that shower
that I heard those words
00:15:49.97\00:15:53.13
that I was washed in
the blood of the lamb.
00:15:53.16\00:15:57.45
And it chokes me up today
because as I sat in that cell
00:15:57.48\00:16:01.45
for those 17 days
I was 36 years old.
00:16:01.48\00:16:05.53
It was two yeas
ago and I wrote down
00:16:05.56\00:16:08.37
every single thing that
ever happened in my life
00:16:08.40\00:16:10.77
and it was the first
time that my father ever knew
00:16:10.80\00:16:13.79
anything that happened to me.
00:16:13.82\00:16:15.10
36 years I held
that and never told him.
00:16:15.13\00:16:17.92
It was time for me to tell him
00:16:17.95\00:16:19.42
the resentments I
had and why I held in.
00:16:19.45\00:16:22.54
How much I hurt and
when I let it all out
00:16:22.57\00:16:26.02
it was when I began to heal.
00:16:26.05\00:16:30.09
The amazing part
of that whole story is
00:16:30.12\00:16:32.93
I came out of lock with no CAB.
00:16:32.96\00:16:39.12
How I was pardoned I don't know.
00:16:39.15\00:16:41.46
How any things
happened I couldn't tell you
00:16:41.49\00:16:45.32
but I know it was at that point
that my life is gonna change.
00:16:45.35\00:16:50.14
I sent that letter
out in July of 2010,
00:16:50.17\00:16:55.48
and I didn't receive a
response from my father
00:16:55.51\00:16:57.87
until March of 2011 and it was
short little verse that said,
00:16:57.90\00:17:03.41
"I never meant to hurt you,
I always wanted to protect you.
00:17:03.44\00:17:06.93
You're always my
little girl and I love you.
00:17:06.96\00:17:09.67
If I could have
changed I would have."
00:17:09.70\00:17:12.12
So you see a held
resentment and hurt against him
00:17:12.15\00:17:15.38
for things that you never knew.
00:17:15.41\00:17:17.48
But that was my own insecurities
00:17:17.51\00:17:19.82
and if I would have told him
maybe my life wouldn't have been
00:17:19.85\00:17:22.26
in the streets of New York City
or the gangs and the lifestyles.
00:17:22.29\00:17:28.51
I looked for the
love in the wrong places
00:17:28.54\00:17:30.43
when it was there all along.
00:17:30.46\00:17:32.50
Today my parents now
raise my 17 years old child
00:17:32.53\00:17:36.30
and I resented
her for a long time
00:17:36.33\00:17:38.16
because I felt they loved
her more than they loved me.
00:17:38.19\00:17:42.51
They didn't take
her for me, not at all
00:17:42.54\00:17:46.20
but I didn't see that, I fought
them every step of the way.
00:17:46.23\00:17:49.29
What they did was give her
the life that I never could
00:17:49.32\00:17:51.98
and they saved
her from the system
00:17:52.01\00:17:53.78
of what I would have
never known where she was at
00:17:53.81\00:17:57.74
So my prospective on life before
00:17:57.77\00:18:00.34
was that I had a good
life but it was really twisted.
00:18:00.37\00:18:06.99
Because today I have a
good life sitting behind bars
00:18:07.02\00:18:10.05
in a prison is the best life
that I could had for 36 years.
00:18:10.08\00:18:18.05
Had I only know, what
love and Christ is all about.
00:18:21.05\00:18:28.34
The colors of the
gang from where I grew up,
00:18:28.37\00:18:31.79
you know, I
didn't agree with red.
00:18:31.82\00:18:35.53
You would never
catch me in red and--
00:18:35.56\00:18:38.05
well today still you
know, it's hard for me
00:18:38.08\00:18:40.91
because even
though I have Christ
00:18:40.94\00:18:42.44
I look at red and
it's a trigger for me.
00:18:42.47\00:18:44.72
I don't want to see it I
don't want to deal with it.
00:18:44.75\00:18:46.96
It replays in mind
the blood of Christ.
00:18:46.99\00:18:50.25
But red still a
significant to me.
00:18:50.28\00:18:52.44
It was the enemy and I
didn't agree with it at all.
00:18:52.47\00:18:57.45
I would so much say the
same thing with purple and gold
00:18:57.48\00:19:02.93
we just didn't agree with them.
00:19:02.96\00:19:04.49
They were colors
that weren't for us.
00:19:04.52\00:19:07.76
At that point that I was
sitting in that jail cell
00:19:07.79\00:19:12.09
and I though about all
the life that I had wasted,
00:19:12.12\00:19:17.02
my children who
didn't know who I was,
00:19:17.05\00:19:20.75
my family who carried the same
pain that I did for many years
00:19:20.78\00:19:26.23
of loosing a child.
00:19:26.26\00:19:28.77
You see, I have spoke
about loosing my oldest child
00:19:28.80\00:19:32.36
that was 21 years ago.
00:19:32.39\00:19:34.43
I never realized
that when I lost my child
00:19:34.46\00:19:36.92
my parents also lost their's.
00:19:36.95\00:19:40.47
I didn't take that
into consideration.
00:19:40.50\00:19:43.17
I didn't take any consideration
00:19:43.20\00:19:44.56
that my brothers
lost their sister,
00:19:44.59\00:19:46.38
that my
grandparents lost a grandchild,
00:19:46.41\00:19:48.81
that cousins lost their
significant part of their family
00:19:48.84\00:19:52.09
I removed myself from the world
00:19:52.12\00:19:54.44
of love and joy and happiness
00:19:54.47\00:19:59.10
and took myself
into a world of chaos.
00:19:59.13\00:20:01.49
The darkness of
drugs, sex, partying
00:20:01.52\00:20:06.35
and I have seen things that
I never wanted to see before.
00:20:06.38\00:20:09.98
The killings, the
drive-byshootings,
00:20:10.01\00:20:13.03
the stealing, the rapes.
00:20:13.06\00:20:16.17
That is something that I
never want to deal with again
00:20:16.20\00:20:19.57
and if I can give
back to one person
00:20:19.60\00:20:24.91
the love that
Christ has given me
00:20:24.94\00:20:26.74
and told me, you see,
00:20:26.77\00:20:30.87
Satan knows I
should have been dead
00:20:30.90\00:20:33.07
but it's only
by the grace of God
00:20:33.10\00:20:34.53
that I am still here
today to tell my story.
00:20:34.56\00:20:37.65
To give someone what I
didn't have in those streets.
00:20:37.68\00:20:41.37
If I can encourage
someone and let them know
00:20:41.40\00:20:44.69
that there is
love and hope out there
00:20:44.72\00:20:46.71
versus the drugs,
versus of the beatings,
00:20:46.74\00:20:52.56
the rapes,
living under the bridge,
00:20:52.59\00:20:56.93
that is not a
lifestyle for any child
00:20:56.96\00:20:58.84
let alone an adult to live.
00:20:58.87\00:21:03.30
But God has brought to me
00:21:03.33\00:21:04.44
to a place in my
life of self-acceptance
00:21:04.47\00:21:08.50
and He has taught me
that there's no greater love
00:21:08.53\00:21:11.22
than to lay down your life
for your brother or sister.
00:21:11.25\00:21:15.04
Not to lay down your
life because someone hurt you,
00:21:15.07\00:21:18.26
not to lay down your
life or take someone else life
00:21:18.29\00:21:23.27
because they looked
at you the wrong way.
00:21:23.30\00:21:26.18
They said something
to you that offended you.
00:21:26.21\00:21:29.48
No one knows what
they're going through
00:21:29.51\00:21:31.31
because no one knew
what I was going through.
00:21:31.34\00:21:33.96
But if I never
take the time to ask
00:21:33.99\00:21:36.05
and I am not doing
God's will in my life.
00:21:36.08\00:21:40.21
God has brought
my life to a point
00:21:40.24\00:21:42.56
of wanting to
give to other people
00:21:42.59\00:21:47.16
the same love that
He provided for me.
00:21:47.19\00:21:50.28
There is hope,
there is a future.
00:21:50.31\00:21:54.48
His word says, but for yet
00:21:54.51\00:21:56.43
I had to abandon
you for a little while
00:21:56.46\00:21:58.78
but with great compassion
I to have to give back.
00:21:58.81\00:22:01.96
So when I left Him
He had to abandon me
00:22:01.99\00:22:04.33
to show me that He loved me.
00:22:04.36\00:22:06.99
Sao that when
He did take me back
00:22:07.02\00:22:09.16
He took me back
with the compassion
00:22:09.19\00:22:11.21
and filled me
with the love of Christ
00:22:11.24\00:22:13.25
that I may fill other people.
00:22:13.28\00:22:17.90
I can go on forever with
what I think about the Lord.
00:22:17.93\00:22:21.02
What I think about the
Lord is something awesome,
00:22:21.05\00:22:26.13
something pack greater then me,
00:22:26.16\00:22:28.65
something that's unexplainable
00:22:28.68\00:22:30.87
because I think about
the blessing in abundance.
00:22:30.90\00:22:35.00
I think about all the
things that I did have.
00:22:35.03\00:22:38.66
Going from what was
the house, the home,
00:22:38.69\00:22:42.33
the cars, the
children, the family
00:22:42.36\00:22:45.67
to how I gave all
that up for merely nothing
00:22:45.70\00:22:49.20
in the lifestyle
that I choose to live.
00:22:49.23\00:22:52.52
None of that meant anything
00:22:52.55\00:22:54.80
compare to how I
think about the Lord
00:22:54.83\00:22:56.73
and how He
restored my family onto me.
00:22:56.76\00:23:00.47
You know, when I decided
to turn my care and my love
00:23:00.50\00:23:03.30
over to the God
of my understandings
00:23:03.33\00:23:05.23
who is Jesus Christ
and the Heavenly Father
00:23:05.26\00:23:08.59
I give Him my life to
do as He would do with it
00:23:08.62\00:23:11.79
to who I had to question
where it goes from here.
00:23:11.82\00:23:15.27
Who am I to
judge the next person?
00:23:15.30\00:23:19.14
Who am I to look at someone
and say their attitude is wrong.
00:23:19.17\00:23:23.86
So when I think about the
Lord and all He's done for me
00:23:23.89\00:23:27.66
I think about the
heavens and earths
00:23:27.69\00:23:29.53
and just how
they split wide open
00:23:29.56\00:23:31.49
to continue pour
their blessings down.
00:23:31.52\00:23:34.54
I am nothing but a vessel
00:23:34.57\00:23:37.00
and if I don't allow
it to flow through me
00:23:37.03\00:23:39.91
then I stop someone else
from receiving what I have.
00:23:39.94\00:23:43.83
Hi, Erica.
00:23:43.86\00:23:45.09
Now I am told you spent a
little time in jail yourself.
00:23:45.12\00:23:48.03
Yes, I did.
00:23:48.06\00:23:51.05
Tell me about your involvement
with Christmas Behind Bars
00:23:51.08\00:23:55.32
and what it means to you
and what it does for you.
00:23:55.35\00:24:00.65
Because of my past I
felt a calling from the Lord
00:24:00.68\00:24:03.41
to come and share my past
with you guys because its--
00:24:03.44\00:24:08.53
I don't, I was lonely
just like some of you may feel.
00:24:08.56\00:24:12.50
I am not alone anymore,
00:24:12.53\00:24:13.61
I have Christ that
comes with me everywhere I go
00:24:13.64\00:24:15.77
and I want you to know that
00:24:15.80\00:24:17.22
everywhere you go
you just not alone ever.
00:24:17.25\00:24:19.96
So I came in
Christmas at Christmas time
00:24:19.99\00:24:23.49
and I came up for
one of the programs
00:24:23.52\00:24:25.32
and then I
actually spent more of time
00:24:25.35\00:24:27.02
I don't know if any
of you all remember me
00:24:27.05\00:24:28.30
but I spent most
of time downstairs
00:24:28.33\00:24:30.17
speaking one on one
with several of you.
00:24:30.20\00:24:32.18
And, man, that touched my life.
00:24:32.21\00:24:35.39
So I just felt like
its really important
00:24:35.42\00:24:36.72
because not only
I mean we're coming
00:24:36.75\00:24:38.77
to try to talk to
you guys about the Jesus
00:24:38.80\00:24:41.12
and how He can
save you and stuff.
00:24:41.15\00:24:42.83
Man, you all really
a rich blessings to me
00:24:42.86\00:24:45.49
when I went home so
that's I need the spiritually,
00:24:45.52\00:24:48.99
you know, just as
much as you guys do.
00:24:49.02\00:24:52.16
We design this
program not to be a program
00:24:52.19\00:24:54.25
so much about how
we can preach to you
00:24:54.28\00:24:56.50
the preaching segment are free
00:24:56.53\00:24:57.94
indeed a very
little us talking to you.
00:24:57.97\00:24:59.89
It's more about
you talking to us.
00:24:59.92\00:25:03.42
Tell us about this
thing that God does for us
00:25:03.45\00:25:07.04
that when you
minister to someone else.
00:25:07.07\00:25:09.40
You yourself are minister too
perhaps even in a greater way
00:25:09.43\00:25:12.21
than what you're
giving you're receiving.
00:25:12.24\00:25:15.61
I know that when I
left here I went home
00:25:15.64\00:25:17.53
and I was so on a spiritual high
00:25:17.56\00:25:19.76
as you guys will
leave here tonight
00:25:19.79\00:25:21.21
and be set on a spiritual high.
00:25:21.24\00:25:23.49
But even when I get on my
knees and I pray for you guys
00:25:23.52\00:25:26.65
I am still on
that spiritual high
00:25:26.68\00:25:29.25
and it just carries with me
00:25:29.28\00:25:31.23
as long as I'm
speaking to my Lord
00:25:31.26\00:25:33.10
it just makes it all
that much stronger with me.
00:25:33.13\00:25:36.59
Praise God. There
is a wonderful text.
00:25:36.62\00:25:39.54
People always ask me do
you have a favorite text,
00:25:39.57\00:25:41.53
a favorite-- I don't
have a favorite text.
00:25:41.56\00:25:43.09
I don't have favorite food,
00:25:43.12\00:25:44.15
I don't have a
favorite anything.
00:25:44.18\00:25:45.21
Kind of aggravates my
wife because she says,
00:25:45.24\00:25:46.74
what do you want for dinner?
00:25:46.77\00:25:48.68
Cook it, I'll eat it.
00:25:48.71\00:25:49.74
You know, I am
very easy to please.
00:25:49.77\00:25:51.87
What I have is a
text that does it for me
00:25:51.90\00:25:53.92
at that
particular time in my life.
00:25:53.95\00:25:56.72
When I was dosen't--
00:25:56.75\00:25:58.83
told that I have prostate
cancer couple of years ago
00:25:58.86\00:26:00.78
God gave me a text
that saw me through that.
00:26:00.81\00:26:03.50
But the text
that comes in mind now
00:26:03.53\00:26:04.93
is one of the very
first text that I learned.
00:26:04.96\00:26:07.40
Joshua 1:9, the Lord says,
"Have not I commanded thee?
00:26:07.43\00:26:10.52
Be strong and of a
good courage, be not afraid,
00:26:10.55\00:26:13.43
neither be thou
dismayed, for the Lord
00:26:13.46\00:26:15.58
thy God is with thee
whithersoever thou goest."
00:26:15.61\00:26:19.27
That's one of those kind of
texts that you can just stand on
00:26:19.30\00:26:21.80
because it lets
you know you're never
00:26:21.83\00:26:23.09
ever, ever, ever, ever alone
00:26:23.12\00:26:25.23
even when you fell
alone you're not alone
00:26:25.26\00:26:28.17
because Jesus is
right by your side.
00:26:28.20\00:26:30.35
Thank you so very much,
Erica and God bless you.
00:26:30.38\00:26:32.19
Thank you.
00:26:32.22\00:26:34.35
We are going into a lock-up
facility inside a prison.
00:26:42.18\00:26:45.81
These guys
cannot exit their cell
00:26:45.84\00:26:47.34
without being
handcuffed or shock hold
00:26:47.37\00:26:49.28
and they can't move throughout
the prison without an escort.
00:26:49.31\00:26:52.01
So it's a real
blessing coming here.
00:26:52.04\00:26:54.67
We are in I unit at the Indiana
State Prison at Michigan City.
00:26:59.36\00:27:05.24
Behind me is death row
and these 12 individuals
00:27:05.27\00:27:09.33
that are on the death row
00:27:09.36\00:27:10.39
have been visited by
some of our volunteers
00:27:10.42\00:27:12.57
that are working with
Christian Behind Bars.
00:27:12.60\00:27:14.76
These 12 men are
literally waiting for the state
00:27:14.79\00:27:17.99
to tell them when
they are gonna die.
00:27:18.02\00:27:20.19
Now may of them
have filed appeals
00:27:20.22\00:27:22.00
and these
appeals can take weeks,
00:27:22.03\00:27:23.89
they can take
months, they can take years.
00:27:23.92\00:27:25.87
Some appeals have
been going on for decades.
00:27:25.90\00:27:28.67
These appeals can
extend their life.
00:27:28.70\00:27:32.20
It can lengthen the amount
of time that they have to live
00:27:32.23\00:27:35.37
but sooner or later their
faith is going to be sealed.
00:27:35.40\00:27:39.12
They will have to face death.
00:27:39.15\00:27:41.67
And that's what
Christmas Behind Bars,
00:27:41.70\00:27:43.27
Free Indeed try's to let
even men on death role know
00:27:43.30\00:27:46.27
that theirs is life after death
00:27:46.30\00:27:49.37
indeed there's life after life,
00:27:49.40\00:27:52.20
that there's eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
00:27:52.23\00:27:55.90
We never imagine the
blessing or the beauty
00:27:55.93\00:27:59.02
that the God would
bring out of this endeavor
00:27:59.05\00:28:01.29
working together
for the kingdom of God.
00:28:01.32\00:28:03.99
Bringing hope to our
brother and sisters behind bars
00:28:04.02\00:28:07.20
and now our brothers
and sisters behind bars
00:28:07.23\00:28:09.45
are actually bringing
hope and encouragement
00:28:09.48\00:28:11.99
to our viewers around the world.
00:28:12.02\00:28:14.88
God blessed you and
we look forward to you
00:28:14.91\00:28:17.72
partnering with us,
christmasbehindbars.org.
00:28:17.75\00:28:22.00
Blessings to you
until we meet again.
00:28:22.03\00:28:25.19