Hi, I'm C.A. Murray
and this is "Free Indeed."
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I'm standing in front of
part of the original wall
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for the Michigan city prison.
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This wall dates back to
1860, just about the time
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the United States was beginning
to engage in the civil war.
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We've been locking people
up for an awful long time,
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not only in this country
but in the history of mankind.
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But as long as mankind
has been locking people up,
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Jesus has been
setting people free.
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That's what "Free
Indeed" is all about.
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It's the idea that you can be
free even behind prison walls.
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That if you are in
Jesus, you are free indeed.
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I'm free indeed.
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Exercise is a
very important part
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of the inmate
program in these facilities.
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Baseball,
basketball, jogging in pairs,
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the exercise
room, the weight room,
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all of these are very, very
important parts of inmate life.
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Getting out,
getting a little fresh air,
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having a little
fun with friends.
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On today's broadcast we're
going to meet Steven Foster,
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a young man who is
on that field right now
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getting a little exercise.
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But more than just the exercise
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he's taken time to
get Jesus in his heart.
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He's changed his life.
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And you're going
to meet him today
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and hear a little
of bit from his mom
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and a little
more of his testimony.
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You'll also hear a
little bit from Lemuel Vega
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as we spend some time together
looking at a changed life.
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Exercise changes
the physical life,
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the Bible and the Word of
God changes the spiritual life.
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My son, I got a phone call
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saying that my son was on TV
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and they got him for murder.
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And I said, no, not my son.
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My son wouldn't
do that, not Steven.
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He's a good kid.
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You know, he's got a
kind-- a real kind heart.
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And I kept saying
no, Steve won't do that.
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And then I turn on the news
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and I see my son's
picture on the news.
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For people out there
who's got kids it's hard.
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And plus if you
get them locked up
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it's hard on you as a parent,
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as any parent who
have to go through it.
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And I don't want
to see any parent
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or any kids have to go through
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what my kid is
being going through
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and what he is going through now
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because he had to
spend so much time in prison.
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The roughest part about
being in the penitentiary
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is not being able to always
call home when you want to,
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not being able to reach
out and hold your little ones.
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It's the part
about just missing out,
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missing that family time,
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the little moments in
life that you can't get back.
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Steven, it's a blessing
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to be here with you
in this penitentiary.
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Can you tell me a
little bit about your life
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and who is Steven
is and why you're here?
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Before coming to
prison I was lost,
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addicted to drugs,
addicted to alcohol,
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very angry, struggled
with my anger my whole life.
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I took it upon myself
to always get in trouble.
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I never cared about
anything in the world
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until I came to prison
and I gave my life to God.
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When I was 23 years
old I had my own family.
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I had a pretty happy life,
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but I was abusing
drugs and alcohol.
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And it all started
with one bad night.
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Things didn't go my way.
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So I thought I would stay out.
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And while I was staying
out that night, on my way home
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I ended up getting
into a fight with a guy
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and accidentally killed him.
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For me, I didn't
know I had killed him.
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But when the
police came and got me,
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I found out that I did.
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And it changed my life, losing
everything before my eyes.
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I lost my family,
I lost my freedom.
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Did you--were you
raised in a Christian home?
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No, I wasn't.
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Who began to tell you in
the penitentiary about Jesus?
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You don't just come
here and they give you a pass
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and it says God
and you get connected.
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How did that
happen? Volunteers like you.
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Volunteers come in.
That means a lot, doesn't it?
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Yes, sir. Brother, I understand
the value of volunteerism
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because when I was here
I was on AA count letter.
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And there would be a blizzard.
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There would be 6 inches of snow.
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And the AA sponsor
would always show up.
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And I was like, wow.
And it meant so much.
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So it's a
blessing. Tell me about that.
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It couldn't have been
just from a volunteer.
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Tell me what began to
spark that interest in God.
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I started to look at
myself, see my own anger,
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see who I was,
see who I was being.
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I wanted to be a better person.
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God wanted me to
be a better person.
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I wanted to do God's will.
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And God just
started opening up doors
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when I gave it all to
Him, when I gave up the drugs,
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when I gave up the alcohol,
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when I started
to work on myself,
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God did it for me.
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Amen. Kind of like Jonah.
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Jonah looked at his situation,
looked where he was at
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and he decided to try God
even though he ran from God.
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Did somebody give you a
Bible or--how did that work out?
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I don't know how it
worked out in prison.
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I mean, it's different now.
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You bring in decent
Bible set that we like,
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that we enjoy,
that we can get into.
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I got a Bible that
says free on the inside.
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Free on the
inside. Do you know what?
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We want to thank our
sponsors for them Bibles
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because we ain't got a
million dollar credit card.
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It's many, many,
many, many sponsors
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who made this Christmas
behind bars packages possible.
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It's many, many sponsors
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that's made this "Free
Indeed" program possible.
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It's many, many sponsors
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that donated the
satellite dish for your prison
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that you can get
3ABN in your cell now.
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Is that a blessing to you? Amen.
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That's a blessing. Do
you watch 3ABN in prison?
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Yes, I do,
every Sunday 7:00 p.m.
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Yeah, oh, "Free Indeed,"
Sunday night at 7:00 p.m.
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Praise God. Free
Indeed. Free Indeed.
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If you don't
know it, "Free Indeed"
00:07:01.23\00:07:02.53
is on the channel here, 7
o'clock and so God bless you.
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Would you look
out there, Steven,
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and I know there is some hurting
people out there in the world
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that don't know about God.
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Would you share?
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For the people
out there in the world
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that have no hope,
that are addicted to drugs,
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have a anger problem like I did,
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I want to tell
you, don't loose hope.
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Trust in God.
Give in your heart.
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He'll give you all
the love that you need
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to be able to love
someone else and love yourself.
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God will be with you. I promise.
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When I think about
holding on to Jesus,
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I think about all the
times that I've been through
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from a kid going through abuse,
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from a child
growing up being so angry,
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not knowing how to
control my emotions,
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just from being in here,
being in the penitentiary
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and knowing that at any
time I could call on to God
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and I could hold on to Jesus.
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I know He always hears my cries.
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And I know that I always have
to be faithful, faithful to Him.
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And I will
always be a better man.
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Knowing that my son's in prison
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and to other parents out there,
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just keep the faith and just
pray to God to guide your kids
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and help your kids to
lift their hands up to God
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and have God get a hold of them
like they got hold of my son
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and turn their life around,
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like my son is
turning his life around now.
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Because now my son has turned
his life completely around
00:09:06.80\00:09:10.42
and he is not doing drugs.
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He is not on drugs.
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And he was telling me
that he passed a drug test
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and he is bragging about it.
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He said, "Mom, guess
what." I said, "What?"
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He said, "I
passed the drug test,"
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and he said, "I might not have
ever passed a drug test before,
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but you know what, I can now.
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By the grace of God I
could pass the drug test."
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And I told thank God.
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And so now he's, you know,
he's almost like a preacher.
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Because he preaches to
me sometimes, you know,
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Craig come back to
me, like I preach to him.
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So now he is
trying to come back to me
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and he is trying to
help me keep my faith going.
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And even though he
knows I'm having a hard time
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and it's rough for me
because my son is in prison.
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And it's going to
be rough for anybody
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who's got kids in
prison, I mean, rough.
00:10:05.31\00:10:09.19
And I wouldn't want
anybody to go through
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what I've been through, no
one, because it's not easy.
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When your way grows dreary
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And it seems that
the load is too heavy
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Grab a hold to the
anchor which is the Lord
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He will bear what you can't bear
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Just put your trust in Him
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Hold on Hold on
00:11:00.16\00:11:06.61
And keep the
faith Keep the faith
00:11:06.64\00:11:12.13
Don't give up
00:11:12.16\00:11:17.43
He'll be there
00:11:17.46\00:11:20.21
When times get rough
00:11:20.24\00:11:26.50
Hold on to Jesus
He can hear your cry
00:11:28.57\00:11:33.24
Stay strong The
righteous won't be denied
00:11:33.27\00:11:37.56
When things are going wrong
00:11:37.59\00:11:39.91
He can turn it right
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Hold on tight
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Hold on to Jesus
00:11:44.41\00:11:46.65
When I was a young man Yeah
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My momma, she told me
What did she tell you, Sam?
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You're gonna go through some
trials and tribulations, son
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Life won't be easy
00:12:00.06\00:12:03.12
But let not your
heart be troubled
00:12:03.15\00:12:06.66
No, no, no, no
00:12:06.69\00:12:08.82
And whatever you
do, put your hand
00:12:08.85\00:12:14.36
In my God's unchanging hand
00:12:14.39\00:12:16.58
And I know He
will see you through
00:12:16.61\00:12:20.28
And keep the faith
Keep the faith, son
00:12:20.31\00:12:23.81
And don't you ever give up
00:12:23.84\00:12:26.70
No, no, no, no, no
00:12:26.73\00:12:29.36
He'll be there I
know he'll be right there
00:12:29.39\00:12:32.70
When times get rough
00:12:32.73\00:12:35.70
Hold on to Jesus
He can hear your cry
00:12:39.90\00:12:44.04
Stay strong The
righteous won't be denied
00:12:44.07\00:12:48.79
When things are going wrong
00:12:48.82\00:12:50.87
He can turn it right
00:12:50.90\00:12:53.03
Hold on tight
00:12:53.06\00:12:55.06
Hold on to Jesus
00:12:55.09\00:12:58.59
Whatever you're going through
00:12:58.62\00:13:01.53
Whatever you're dealing with
00:13:01.56\00:13:04.74
I recommend, I
recommend to call on Jesus
00:13:04.77\00:13:10.08
He'll see you through
00:13:10.11\00:13:11.54
Yes, He will
00:13:11.57\00:13:13.01
Hold on to Jesus
00:13:13.04\00:13:14.87
Midnight hour,
trouble all around you
00:13:14.90\00:13:18.66
Yeah
00:13:18.69\00:13:21.94
You can't find your way
00:13:21.97\00:13:23.59
I recommend you
call on baby boy yeah
00:13:23.62\00:13:26.66
Yeah, Lord
00:13:26.69\00:13:29.36
Hold on to Jesus
00:13:29.39\00:13:32.27
When you can't figure it out
00:13:32.30\00:13:34.33
Pour out your heart, yeah
00:13:34.36\00:13:36.75
Whenever it seems
things could fall out of place
00:13:36.78\00:13:39.46
Call on Jesus Christ
00:13:39.49\00:13:41.50
Yeah, Lord, I know
He will see me through
00:13:41.53\00:13:44.99
Hold on tight
00:13:45.02\00:13:47.29
Hold on to Jesus
00:13:47.32\00:13:49.44
Hold on to Jesus
He can hear your cry
00:13:49.47\00:13:53.65
Stay strong The
righteous won't be denied
00:13:53.68\00:13:57.82
When things are going wrong
00:13:57.85\00:13:59.98
He can turn it right
00:14:00.01\00:14:02.06
Hold on tight
00:14:02.09\00:14:04.19
Hold on to Jesus
00:14:04.22\00:14:06.47
Hold on to Jesus
He can hear your cry
00:14:06.50\00:14:10.12
Stay strong The
righteous won't be denied
00:14:10.15\00:14:14.73
When things are going wrong
00:14:14.76\00:14:16.95
He can turn it right
00:14:16.98\00:14:18.72
Hold on tight
00:14:18.75\00:14:21.51
I want to refer you
to a text of Scripture
00:14:25.79\00:14:28.62
which doesn't seem
like it means too much
00:14:28.65\00:14:31.63
when you just read it
00:14:31.66\00:14:33.26
but it's really a very
powerful text of Scripture.
00:14:33.29\00:14:36.35
It's found in Matthew 27:36.
00:14:36.38\00:14:39.96
It simply says,
"And sitting down
00:14:39.99\00:14:42.31
they watched Him there."
00:14:42.34\00:14:44.72
It doesn't seem like much.
00:14:44.75\00:14:46.58
Sitting down they
watched Him there.
00:14:46.61\00:14:49.54
But it's talking
about Christ on the cross.
00:14:49.57\00:14:52.82
It's talking about the
people who put Him on the cross
00:14:52.85\00:14:55.28
after they
nailed Him to the cross,
00:14:55.31\00:14:57.65
after they lacerated His flesh,
00:14:57.68\00:14:59.76
after they beat
and bruised His body,
00:14:59.79\00:15:03.72
they sat down to check Him out.
00:15:03.75\00:15:06.83
They sat down and watched Him.
00:15:08.81\00:15:13.11
I wonder what they saw.
00:15:13.14\00:15:14.46
I saw a program on "60
Minutes" some time ago.
00:15:17.10\00:15:20.52
It says that there are a number
of people in the United States
00:15:20.55\00:15:22.97
who have a disease
00:15:23.00\00:15:25.16
that doesn't allow
them to recognize faces.
00:15:25.19\00:15:29.41
It was on recognition of faces.
00:15:29.44\00:15:31.74
There are mothers who don't
recognize their own children.
00:15:31.77\00:15:35.67
They've got
something in their brain
00:15:35.70\00:15:38.37
that doesn't allow
them to recognize a face.
00:15:38.40\00:15:41.37
You can sit and talk with them.
00:15:41.40\00:15:44.34
Turn your back and then
turn your face to them again
00:15:44.37\00:15:48.15
and they don't
remember who you are.
00:15:48.18\00:15:50.12
It's a disease.
00:15:50.15\00:15:51.70
They also said that
about 50% of the population
00:15:51.73\00:15:55.69
who know you, your own parents,
00:15:55.72\00:15:57.95
your own siblings,
your wife, your husband,
00:15:57.98\00:15:59.48
if you turned your
picture upside down,
00:15:59.51\00:16:03.09
they wouldn't recognize you.
00:16:03.12\00:16:05.07
It's a very
interesting thing about mental,
00:16:05.10\00:16:09.11
the work of the mind
and facial recognition.
00:16:09.14\00:16:14.52
There are a
number of universities
00:16:14.55\00:16:16.31
who have come out
with studies that say that
00:16:16.34\00:16:19.37
people who are
considered good-looking
00:16:19.40\00:16:23.57
are treated better than
people who are not good-looking.
00:16:23.60\00:16:29.63
It is no coincidence that
00:16:29.66\00:16:32.43
a cute girl or a
handsome guy gets treated better
00:16:32.46\00:16:37.53
than someone who is
considered not so cute.
00:16:37.56\00:16:41.63
They've also said
that it is no accident
00:16:41.66\00:16:45.50
that most of the successful
con artists in the world
00:16:45.53\00:16:50.09
are good-looking
and well dressed.
00:16:50.12\00:16:54.68
Now you can hustle
somebody in a pair of jeans.
00:16:54.71\00:16:57.93
But if you want to
get the real big money
00:16:57.96\00:17:01.11
you got to be
good-looking and well dressed,
00:17:01.14\00:17:05.63
because we will
accept a lie from a person
00:17:05.66\00:17:09.19
simply on the
basis of their looks.
00:17:09.22\00:17:12.98
If somebody beautiful enough
comes in here would align,
00:17:13.01\00:17:19.24
scientists say you'll buy it
00:17:19.27\00:17:21.53
simply because it is
come from a pretty face.
00:17:21.56\00:17:23.64
Mm-hmm.
00:17:25.67\00:17:26.70
We are, in our world today,
over impressed with looks.
00:17:29.19\00:17:37.12
It's true.
00:17:37.15\00:17:38.18
A suit and a tie
trumps a T-shirt and jeans.
00:17:40.20\00:17:45.52
Cosmetics, a seven
billion dollar industry.
00:17:45.55\00:17:52.40
Folks trying to buy stuff
to make themselves look good.
00:17:52.43\00:17:56.68
Cosmetic surgery,
that's plastic surgery,
00:17:56.71\00:17:59.91
200 million dollars a year.
00:17:59.94\00:18:03.15
Cutting and pasting and tucking
00:18:03.18\00:18:04.68
and whatever else they do.
00:18:04.71\00:18:06.51
Hair color, 7 to
10 million dollars.
00:18:09.43\00:18:14.30
I don't have to
worry about that.
00:18:14.33\00:18:17.48
10 million dollars
just buying hair color,
00:18:17.51\00:18:19.54
mustache color,
hair color for men,
00:18:19.57\00:18:22.02
all that kind of stuff.
00:18:22.05\00:18:24.71
In Isaiah 53:2 it
talks about Jesus.
00:18:24.74\00:18:28.30
Here is what it says.
00:18:28.33\00:18:30.32
"He has no form on
comeliness and when we see Him
00:18:30.35\00:18:34.39
there is no beauty
that we should desire Him."
00:18:34.42\00:18:39.57
I'll tell you a secret.
00:18:39.60\00:18:41.34
I have a problem
with pictures of Jesus
00:18:41.37\00:18:44.85
that try to make
Him look too cute.
00:18:44.88\00:18:47.48
Personally I don't
like those pictures
00:18:47.51\00:18:50.33
that try to make Him look like
00:18:50.36\00:18:51.45
He just stepped out of
a beauty salon, you know.
00:18:51.48\00:18:53.86
Every hair in place
00:18:53.89\00:18:55.37
and that's not the
Jesus that I envision.
00:18:55.40\00:18:59.28
Like, I don't
envision the Hollywood Jesus.
00:18:59.31\00:19:02.88
Now don't get me wrong.
00:19:02.91\00:19:04.89
I don't think
Jesus was unattractive.
00:19:04.92\00:19:08.73
But the Bible seems to indicate
00:19:08.76\00:19:10.62
he wasn't the kind of
guy who was so good-looking
00:19:10.65\00:19:13.74
that people would say,
"You know what, let's follow Him
00:19:13.77\00:19:15.71
because He is
such a handsome guy."
00:19:15.74\00:19:17.77
If you follow the Lord,
if you follow the Master,
00:19:17.80\00:19:23.83
it was because of the
message, not the messenger.
00:19:23.86\00:19:27.86
The Bible says man looks
on the outward appearance.
00:19:27.89\00:19:31.18
Man is impressed with the looks.
00:19:31.21\00:19:34.28
God looks on the heart.
00:19:34.31\00:19:38.10
So God sees beyond your looks.
00:19:38.13\00:19:41.24
And then Jesus
said in His own words,
00:19:41.27\00:19:42.85
"The words that I speak to you,
they are spirit, they are life."
00:19:42.88\00:19:46.02
Not about the messenger,
it's about the message.
00:19:46.05\00:19:51.36
You see we live in a
first glance society.
00:19:51.39\00:19:54.08
People talk about love
at first sight. It's a lie.
00:19:54.11\00:19:58.35
You cannot love
what you do not know.
00:19:58.38\00:20:01.80
You can lust at first sight.
00:20:01.83\00:20:04.19
You can get
turned on at first sight.
00:20:04.22\00:20:06.83
But you can't love
what you don't know.
00:20:06.86\00:20:10.08
That's why a lot of
people say I love Jesus.
00:20:10.11\00:20:12.29
You can't love Jesus
unless you know Jesus.
00:20:12.32\00:20:15.89
And you can't know Jesus
00:20:15.92\00:20:17.70
unless you put in
the time with Jesus.
00:20:17.73\00:20:19.91
Jesus is not a quick fix,
00:20:19.94\00:20:22.86
instant Burger King
have-it-your-way kind of God.
00:20:22.89\00:20:26.98
To love Him,
you got to know Him.
00:20:27.01\00:20:29.62
To know Him, you got to
put in the time with Him.
00:20:29.65\00:20:36.29
So if you just
glance at your Bible,
00:20:36.32\00:20:38.61
it's not gonna help you.
00:20:38.64\00:20:40.91
You got to dig for gold.
00:20:40.94\00:20:43.11
Gold doesn't lie on the surface.
00:20:43.14\00:20:44.32
You know, if it
was cheap and easy,
00:20:44.35\00:20:45.54
you can get it at Wal-Mart.
00:20:45.57\00:20:47.63
But religion is not that way.
00:20:47.66\00:20:49.35
We work in television.
00:20:49.38\00:20:51.26
Found out something
interesting about television.
00:20:51.29\00:20:53.54
They say if you are
putting something on TV
00:20:53.57\00:20:56.81
you get 7 seconds to
hold on to your audience.
00:20:56.84\00:21:02.02
You got cable television,
you got 500 channels.
00:21:02.05\00:21:05.55
You want them to
watch your channel.
00:21:05.58\00:21:07.86
The average person
will give you 7 seconds.
00:21:07.89\00:21:10.48
He's got that remote in his hand
00:21:10.51\00:21:12.36
and he is
clicking every 7 seconds.
00:21:12.39\00:21:14.33
So if he looks at your
channel and he doesn't see
00:21:14.36\00:21:16.18
what he wants in 7
seconds, he is gone.
00:21:16.21\00:21:18.48
Because we are in
an instant society.
00:21:18.51\00:21:20.48
Folks want it now.
But it's not that easy.
00:21:20.51\00:21:22.62
You can't give Jesus 7 seconds,
00:21:22.65\00:21:25.60
because He is
not a 7-second God.
00:21:25.63\00:21:27.56
If you want to
get out from Jesus,
00:21:27.59\00:21:30.09
you got to put in with Jesus.
00:21:30.12\00:21:32.12
Amen.
00:21:32.15\00:21:33.37
Folks say, well, it
doesn't work for me.
00:21:33.40\00:21:34.79
That's because you
haven't given Him the time.
00:21:34.82\00:21:37.44
God says if you
give Me the time,
00:21:37.47\00:21:40.06
I will give you the grace.
00:21:40.09\00:21:42.12
If you give Me the time,
I will give you the glory.
00:21:42.15\00:21:44.90
If you give Me,
I will give to you.
00:21:44.93\00:21:49.14
Jesus says you will find Me
00:21:49.17\00:21:52.21
if you search for
Me with all your heart.
00:21:52.24\00:21:56.31
So if you haven't found Him,
00:21:56.34\00:21:58.72
may I ask you to do me a favor?
00:21:58.75\00:22:01.05
Look again, but this
time, take a long look.
00:22:01.08\00:22:06.15
Not a glance.
Take a good long look.
00:22:06.18\00:22:11.45
And He will become more and
more beautiful in your life.
00:22:11.48\00:22:16.02
Because He loves
you, He died to save you.
00:22:16.05\00:22:19.42
And He wants you,
all of you and only you.
00:22:19.45\00:22:27.26
God bless you.
00:22:27.29\00:22:28.32
We are in a women's prison.
00:22:34.76\00:22:37.37
And would you share with me
00:22:37.40\00:22:38.44
a little bit
about your life, April?
00:22:38.47\00:22:40.94
I spent most of my
life in drug addiction.
00:22:40.97\00:22:42.82
I grew up, like a
lot of people said,
00:22:42.85\00:22:44.24
I grew up in an addictive home.
00:22:44.27\00:22:45.77
My mother and father
were both alcoholics.
00:22:45.80\00:22:47.43
Later my mother
became a drug addict.
00:22:47.46\00:22:49.46
And so it was natural.
00:22:49.49\00:22:51.25
It was just a
normal thing for me.
00:22:51.28\00:22:52.93
That's what was
going to happen in my life.
00:22:52.96\00:22:54.39
That's what I
accepted. That's what I knew.
00:22:54.42\00:22:56.50
I married a drug dealer.
We had a beautiful child.
00:22:56.53\00:22:58.85
And that marriage became,
of course, abusive in our use
00:22:58.88\00:23:02.85
and our drug of choice was meth.
00:23:02.88\00:23:04.46
And about 8 years
into my son's life
00:23:04.49\00:23:08.38
my ex husband
went to federal prison
00:23:08.41\00:23:09.76
and when that
happened I started shooting up.
00:23:09.79\00:23:12.52
And I've never done that before.
00:23:12.55\00:23:13.86
And for those of you'd have,
00:23:13.89\00:23:15.60
it takes
something extreme from you.
00:23:15.63\00:23:21.40
And about a year
after that happened
00:23:21.43\00:23:23.39
I walked away from everything
I loved including my son.
00:23:23.42\00:23:25.79
And I went to prison.
00:23:25.82\00:23:27.50
I started making
meth and went to prison.
00:23:27.53\00:23:28.95
I served 3 years at Rockville,
00:23:28.98\00:23:30.37
when I was in the county jail,
00:23:30.40\00:23:31.43
I accepted Jesus into my life.
00:23:31.46\00:23:33.02
And this man came and he told me
00:23:33.05\00:23:34.97
I could be a princess.
00:23:35.00\00:23:36.03
And all little girls
want to be princesses.
00:23:36.06\00:23:37.79
So I wanted to do that.
00:23:37.82\00:23:39.47
And I accepted in my life
00:23:39.50\00:23:40.53
and I meant that
with all my heart.
00:23:40.56\00:23:42.09
And I served the
Lord and I served Him
00:23:42.12\00:23:43.65
the whole time I was in prison.
00:23:43.68\00:23:45.30
I came out on fire for God.
00:23:45.33\00:23:46.89
Me and my husband
were serving the Lord.
00:23:46.92\00:23:48.62
We got into church.
00:23:48.65\00:23:50.44
I was on the praise
team. He played the drums.
00:23:50.47\00:23:52.97
We ministered, we
traveled, we did that
00:23:53.00\00:23:55.21
and then I got
involved in this place called
00:23:55.24\00:23:57.72
the Lighthouse Recovery center.
00:23:57.75\00:23:59.00
It was to help
other Christian addicts
00:23:59.03\00:24:01.11
come to know the
Lord and stay clean.
00:24:01.14\00:24:03.03
And we did that
and I stayed clean
00:24:03.06\00:24:05.40
for about 9
years, close to 9 years.
00:24:05.43\00:24:08.45
And I used to
say that I relapsed
00:24:08.48\00:24:11.69
and I had only
relapsed for 4 months.
00:24:11.72\00:24:14.15
But when I fell, I
can-- and I can remember
00:24:14.18\00:24:17.39
the day the devil
kicked my door in.
00:24:17.42\00:24:19.18
I was walking on
a beach in Florida
00:24:19.21\00:24:20.77
and for some reason
in my mind I thought
00:24:20.80\00:24:23.25
it would be a good idea
that I could drink a beer.
00:24:23.28\00:24:25.50
I hadn't drank in years.
00:24:25.53\00:24:26.89
It didn't seem like
that big of a deal to me.
00:24:26.92\00:24:28.64
And I did that.
00:24:28.67\00:24:30.02
And it wasn't
very long after that
00:24:30.05\00:24:31.37
I got hurt and I
got on pain pills.
00:24:31.40\00:24:33.06
And that was it for me.
00:24:33.09\00:24:36.48
Everything came
crashing down. I lost my home.
00:24:36.51\00:24:39.33
My husband and I were
on the verge of divorce.
00:24:39.36\00:24:41.37
I was using with my
17 1/2-year-old son.
00:24:41.40\00:24:44.21
And I was crying out,
God how could that happen?
00:24:44.24\00:24:46.82
How could You allow
this to happen to me?
00:24:46.85\00:24:49.25
Not this thing, you know.
00:24:49.28\00:24:51.09
I thought I could
have took anything else.
00:24:51.12\00:24:52.89
I could have
handled anything else
00:24:52.92\00:24:55.02
but this thing, you know.
00:24:55.05\00:24:56.96
And we relapsed on meth.
00:24:56.99\00:25:00.44
And then it wasn't even
one month, we were smoking it.
00:25:00.47\00:25:04.01
The next month
we were shooting it.
00:25:04.04\00:25:05.25
The next month
we were making it.
00:25:05.28\00:25:06.84
The next month I was in jail.
00:25:06.87\00:25:08.78
And they gave me 12
years, 15, serve 12, do 6.
00:25:08.81\00:25:14.18
And I asked the
Lord in that jail,
00:25:14.21\00:25:17.27
I laid in the floor and I said,
"Lord I'm broken and undone.
00:25:17.30\00:25:21.54
And there is
not much left of me.
00:25:21.57\00:25:24.12
But what there is left
of me, if You will use me
00:25:24.15\00:25:27.66
I'll do whatever
You ask me to do."
00:25:27.69\00:25:29.88
I did not believe
that God could forgive me.
00:25:29.91\00:25:32.30
I thought I was going to hell.
00:25:32.33\00:25:33.72
I thought I had gone too far.
00:25:33.75\00:25:35.90
I went to a church where if
you could walk too far away,
00:25:35.93\00:25:40.44
you could jump out
of the hand of God.
00:25:40.47\00:25:42.38
And I believed
that I had done that.
00:25:42.41\00:25:44.64
I didn't think I
could face my Father again.
00:25:44.67\00:25:46.88
I just did not believe that.
00:25:46.91\00:25:48.53
And He lifted me off that floor
in that jail where it all began.
00:25:48.56\00:25:51.15
I was in the same
jail where I got saved
00:25:51.18\00:25:53.31
and He lifted me
up off that floor
00:25:53.34\00:25:55.41
and He still
called me His daughter.
00:25:55.44\00:25:57.89
And He's been
using me ever since.
00:25:57.92\00:26:00.08
And I was praying
tonight before this happened.
00:26:00.11\00:26:03.20
And He just, as plain as day,
00:26:03.23\00:26:05.15
the Holy Spirit
spoke to me and said,
00:26:05.18\00:26:06.81
"You can't get to the world.
00:26:06.84\00:26:08.76
So I will bring
the world to you.
00:26:08.79\00:26:12.20
I will bring the world to you
00:26:12.23\00:26:13.76
because I ran and
fought my ministry."
00:26:13.79\00:26:17.06
We all have something
that God's chosen for us.
00:26:17.09\00:26:20.28
We all have a call on our
lives that God predestined.
00:26:20.31\00:26:24.94
It doesn't
matter how far we fall.
00:26:24.97\00:26:27.46
God didn't see me
fail. He saw me fall.
00:26:27.49\00:26:31.15
And He reached down
in the muck and the mire.
00:26:31.18\00:26:34.24
And He didn't care what length
00:26:34.27\00:26:35.65
He had to go to, to get me back.
00:26:35.68\00:26:38.39
It wasn't about whether
He would forgive me or--
00:26:38.42\00:26:40.54
it was about when I
would just come home.
00:26:40.57\00:26:44.86
Today in jail, in this prison,
00:26:44.89\00:26:47.24
I have a true
relationship with Jesus Christ.
00:26:47.27\00:26:50.11
And my message would be,
no matter how far you've gone,
00:26:50.14\00:26:55.87
it's not too far.
00:26:55.90\00:26:57.50
Your Father sees you whether
you make your bed in hell.
00:26:57.53\00:27:00.75
He sees you. He
knows that you're there.
00:27:00.78\00:27:03.32
He has a purpose for
you. We are not lost causes.
00:27:03.35\00:27:07.63
We are not
hopeless cases. We are not.
00:27:07.66\00:27:11.45
It's not a matter
of will He use you.
00:27:11.48\00:27:14.39
It's a mater of are you
willing to let Him use you.
00:27:14.42\00:27:18.19
Today I'm willing.
00:27:18.22\00:27:19.98
My favorite Scripture
is 2nd Chronicles 7:14.
00:27:20.01\00:27:23.46
It says "If my people
who are called by My Name,"
00:27:23.49\00:27:27.10
today I'm called by His Name,
00:27:27.13\00:27:29.16
"will humble themselves
and pray and seek My face
00:27:29.19\00:27:32.17
and turn from their wicked ways,
I will hear them from heaven.
00:27:32.20\00:27:35.93
And I will forgive their
sin and heal their land."
00:27:35.96\00:27:39.15
Today He is healing my
land. He is healing my land.
00:27:39.18\00:27:43.32
And not only healing your land,
00:27:43.35\00:27:44.73
He went to prepare a home
for us in the kingdom of heaven.
00:27:44.76\00:27:47.23
Praise God In
closing, what would you share
00:27:47.26\00:27:49.16
to those people in the
world who have not found
00:27:49.19\00:27:51.15
the promise and the
hope that you have today?
00:27:51.18\00:27:53.94
Just cry out wherever you are.
00:27:53.97\00:27:56.08
There is a God and He is
real and I am a witness to that.
00:27:56.11\00:27:59.70
In my addiction, even
after I'd served the Lord,
00:27:59.73\00:28:02.39
I said that there can't be a God
00:28:02.42\00:28:04.86
that He'd allow this to happen.
00:28:04.89\00:28:05.97
Even if you've
spoken those words,
00:28:06.00\00:28:07.52
no matter how far you've gone,
00:28:07.55\00:28:09.83
no matter how
far, that's my message,
00:28:09.86\00:28:12.48
is that no matter how far,
00:28:12.51\00:28:14.24
He still will reach
down and pick you up.
00:28:14.27\00:28:16.59
He's not a God who is
afraid to get His hands dirty.
00:28:16.62\00:28:19.51
He's just not. He loves us.
00:28:19.54\00:28:21.68
He loves me and He loves you.
00:28:21.71\00:28:23.80
God bless you so much.
00:28:23.83\00:28:25.75