It happens a lot these days
00:00:01.36\00:00:02.70
where people are so
discouraged and depressed
00:00:02.73\00:00:04.07
that they're just
tempted to take their lives.
00:00:04.10\00:00:06.33
If you know what that's like,
I do know what that's like,
00:00:06.37\00:00:09.74
and I want to
tell you, don't do it.
00:00:09.77\00:00:11.44
There's hope for you.
00:00:11.47\00:00:12.84
So stick with us.
We'll be right back.
00:00:12.87\00:00:14.54
Hi, and welcome back
00:00:36.36\00:00:37.70
to part two of a
three-part series
00:00:37.73\00:00:39.47
called Finding Hope in
Depression and Despair.
00:00:39.50\00:00:43.24
I am Pastor Steve Wohlberg
00:00:43.27\00:00:44.77
and my guest is
Christy Christopher,
00:00:44.81\00:00:47.28
and we're here to share with you
00:00:47.31\00:00:49.54
what we've been through
00:00:49.58\00:00:50.91
and how God has
rescued us and saved our lives,
00:00:50.95\00:00:54.32
and how he can save you too.
00:00:54.35\00:00:56.82
Christy
Christopher works for a man,
00:00:56.85\00:00:58.95
at least as one of her jobs.
00:00:58.99\00:01:01.19
His name is Dr. Neil Nedley.
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He is the head physician
00:01:02.72\00:01:04.93
and the director
of a wonderful program
00:01:04.96\00:01:07.86
called Depression
and Recovery program.
00:01:07.90\00:01:10.00
Actually, the full
program is called anxiety.
00:01:10.03\00:01:12.57
How do you say it?
00:01:12.60\00:01:13.94
It's Depression Anxiety program.
00:01:13.97\00:01:15.67
That's right. Depression
and Anxiety Recovery program.
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He's written a book
called Depression: The Way Out.
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Christy Christopher is my guest.
00:01:20.84\00:01:22.74
She works for Dr.
Nedley during his program.
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She is a
registered nurse in Texas
00:01:26.55\00:01:29.55
in the Fort
Worth area in Dallas.
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And the hospital you work again,
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that's called Medical City?
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Medical City of Dallas.
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Medical City. Yes.
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And, Christy, in
our, in part one,
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she shared her story
00:01:39.56\00:01:40.90
where she grew
up in Pennsylvania
00:01:40.93\00:01:43.33
and made some, some poor choices
00:01:43.37\00:01:46.27
and got involved
in the wrong crowd
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and started also
dealing with depression
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and she had suicidal thoughts
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and tried to take
her life five times,
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but each time
miraculously she survived.
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And so, Christy,
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we want to
continue on with the story.
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Thank you for being here.
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It's a privilege for having
me. Thank you for coming here.
00:02:08.22\00:02:10.63
As I mentioned in part one
00:02:10.66\00:02:13.06
at the time when
we're doing this,
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when we're filming
this, recording this,
00:02:14.80\00:02:17.67
we are in the Coronavirus crisis
00:02:17.70\00:02:21.24
and who knows how
long this will go on
00:02:21.27\00:02:23.84
people that may watch
this program in the future,
00:02:23.87\00:02:26.78
we may not be in this crisis.
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We don't know,
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but we do know that
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whether we are or
whether we're not,
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there's going to be other crisis
00:02:33.58\00:02:35.25
people are going
to be going through.
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And that's just part of
living in this sinful world
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until Jesus comes
back and gets rid of sin.
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That's right.
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So a lot of people are
struggling with depression,
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anxiety, fear, worry,
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medications that they're on.
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And it isn't true, Christy,
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that generally
speaking most of the time
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when a person is depressed
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and they go to
their family physician,
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that most of the time
00:03:00.78\00:03:02.58
they're just prescribed
some kind of antidepressant,
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is that right?
00:03:06.25\00:03:07.98
Sometimes women
will have symptoms
00:03:08.02\00:03:10.39
where they will
just cry for no reason.
00:03:10.42\00:03:13.29
And men typically have more
of that feeling of emptiness.
00:03:13.32\00:03:17.53
And so the women
will lot of times
00:03:17.56\00:03:19.86
go to the physician's office
00:03:19.89\00:03:21.63
and say, I don't
know why I'm just crying.
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And it's something
simple may have happened.
00:03:23.57\00:03:25.37
And they just cry over something
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that normally they
wouldn't cry about.
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And so a lot of times
00:03:29.27\00:03:30.61
their physician
will prescribe them
00:03:30.64\00:03:31.97
an antidepressant at that point.
00:03:32.01\00:03:34.11
And what about the men?
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The men do not seek treatment.
00:03:35.64\00:03:37.78
I don't have statistics on this,
00:03:37.81\00:03:39.21
but the men
typically don't seek treatment
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as often as women.
00:03:41.58\00:03:43.08
So it's actually underdiagnosed.
00:03:43.12\00:03:45.42
So, is that why,
00:03:45.45\00:03:46.79
at least from what we
read in the last program,
00:03:46.82\00:03:48.66
we talked about the CDC
00:03:48.69\00:03:50.73
and the World
Health Organization,
00:03:50.76\00:03:52.09
and they did say that
00:03:52.13\00:03:53.46
depression is more common
among women than among men.
00:03:53.50\00:03:56.67
And is that simply because
00:03:56.70\00:03:58.10
the men don't get
diagnosed as much?
00:03:58.13\00:04:00.87
In my opinion, I
would suspect that.
00:04:00.90\00:04:02.74
So it's probably
equal? I would think so.
00:04:02.77\00:04:04.64
It's probably underreported.
00:04:04.67\00:04:06.61
A lot of times,
even with suicide,
00:04:06.64\00:04:08.28
men are more successful
00:04:08.31\00:04:10.38
because they will
do more fatal means
00:04:10.41\00:04:13.45
to try to end their lives, so.
00:04:13.48\00:04:15.15
Really?
00:04:15.18\00:04:16.85
Do you think
that a lot of people
00:04:16.89\00:04:18.39
who try to commit suicide,
00:04:18.42\00:04:22.02
if their attempt is unsuccessful
00:04:22.06\00:04:24.73
it's because maybe
somewhere inside there,
00:04:24.76\00:04:27.16
they didn't try hard enough.
00:04:27.20\00:04:29.56
Whereas with the men,
00:04:29.60\00:04:30.93
you said they're
often more successful
00:04:30.97\00:04:32.30
with the women, do they?
00:04:32.33\00:04:33.67
It's hard to say.
00:04:33.70\00:04:35.04
I know though they have
done studies on patients
00:04:35.07\00:04:38.27
who have jumped from
the Golden Gate Bridge
00:04:38.31\00:04:40.28
to try to commit suicide.
00:04:40.31\00:04:41.78
And a lot of them
will have the thought
00:04:41.81\00:04:44.65
as they're falling
that, why did I do this?
00:04:44.68\00:04:47.42
I wish I could take this back.
00:04:47.45\00:04:48.85
And so it's an impulsive act.
00:04:48.88\00:04:50.85
And so a lot of times it can,
00:04:50.89\00:04:52.85
you know, if
intervenes in the right way,
00:04:52.89\00:04:56.36
it may not have
to get to that point.
00:04:56.39\00:04:58.23
And I'm assuming that
00:04:58.26\00:04:59.59
people that jump off
the Golden Gate Bridge
00:04:59.63\00:05:00.96
and have that
thought on the way down
00:05:01.00\00:05:02.33
that they survive.
00:05:02.36\00:05:03.70
They survive.
00:05:03.73\00:05:05.07
Because you suicide
and you make it or no.
00:05:05.10\00:05:06.43
Right, right.
They had that thought.
00:05:06.47\00:05:07.80
Yes, exactly.
00:05:07.84\00:05:09.17
So, and thank God that
there are a lot of times
00:05:09.20\00:05:11.47
that the attempts
are not successful.
00:05:11.51\00:05:14.14
In your case, you've had five.
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Yes.
00:05:15.64\00:05:16.98
And I'll share a
little bit more later how
00:05:17.01\00:05:18.91
I never really
tried to kill myself,
00:05:18.95\00:05:21.42
but when I went through
one of my deep struggles
00:05:21.45\00:05:24.85
with depression and anxiety
00:05:24.89\00:05:26.35
and the
medication that I was on,
00:05:26.39\00:05:28.52
the temptation was very strong
00:05:28.56\00:05:30.69
and it was just like this
running voice inside my head,
00:05:30.73\00:05:33.60
you know, just take your life,
take your life, take your life,
00:05:33.63\00:05:35.86
just, you know, end it all.
00:05:35.90\00:05:38.17
You don't have to
worry about this much longer,
00:05:38.20\00:05:40.07
just, you know, I'd be
driving down the highway
00:05:40.10\00:05:42.14
and this thought
would come to me,
00:05:42.17\00:05:43.84
just, you know, the
cars coming out of the way,
00:05:43.87\00:05:45.34
just go around the other
side and just boom, you know?
00:05:45.37\00:05:48.71
And, but I never did that.
00:05:48.74\00:05:51.65
Good. Yeah. Praise God.
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I'm thankful,
very thankful that,
00:05:53.55\00:05:56.08
and that's behind me now,
00:05:56.12\00:05:57.99
you know, all that's behind me,
I feel really good right now.
00:05:58.02\00:06:00.82
We got up both this
morning and we texted each other
00:06:00.86\00:06:04.39
and you're staying
not far from my house.
00:06:04.43\00:06:06.83
And so we got up
and we met this morning.
00:06:06.86\00:06:08.46
We both went
jogging and at about 6:30,
00:06:08.50\00:06:10.37
and we were just
in, in North Idaho.
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My dog ran with us
00:06:13.97\00:06:15.34
and we are both very
thankful to be alive.
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Amen.
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We've both
struggled with depression.
00:06:19.74\00:06:21.08
We've struggled with anxiety.
00:06:21.11\00:06:22.44
We've struggled with medication
and suicidal thoughts,
00:06:22.48\00:06:26.38
but God has been good to us.
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Amen. That's right.
00:06:28.62\00:06:29.95
Okay. So and we
want to give people hope.
00:06:29.98\00:06:32.82
That's why we're
here. That's right.
00:06:32.85\00:06:34.26
So let's go back to.
00:06:34.29\00:06:35.69
You mentioned that you had,
00:06:35.72\00:06:37.06
you know, you were
married and your divorce
00:06:37.09\00:06:40.06
was real, very difficult for you
00:06:40.10\00:06:42.43
and you have seven year old boy,
00:06:42.46\00:06:43.83
and then you...
00:06:43.87\00:06:45.60
There was a failed
suicide attempt in a hotel.
00:06:45.63\00:06:49.74
And after three days you woke up
00:06:49.77\00:06:51.87
and you survived and
it wasn't long after that,
00:06:51.91\00:06:54.21
that your mother called you
00:06:54.24\00:06:56.54
and said that I'm
about to meet Dr. Nedley
00:06:56.58\00:07:00.92
or he's standing
right in front of me,
00:07:00.95\00:07:02.98
Dr. Neil Nedley.
00:07:03.02\00:07:04.35
And he connected you with him
and you enrolled in his program
00:07:04.39\00:07:09.36
in Weimar, California,
in Northern California.
00:07:09.39\00:07:12.53
And you told us also that you,
00:07:12.56\00:07:15.10
your mother told you,
00:07:15.13\00:07:16.46
you get to go to California
and lay out in the sun.
00:07:16.50\00:07:19.07
That's not what happened.
00:07:19.10\00:07:20.70
That was her.
00:07:20.74\00:07:22.07
That was the way she enticed you
00:07:22.10\00:07:23.51
to go to the Dr.
Nedley's Program.
00:07:23.54\00:07:24.87
That's right, 'cause I
thought it was going to be fun
00:07:24.91\00:07:26.61
and games and you get to
kind of lay out by the pool.
00:07:26.64\00:07:29.04
But that, that, that
00:07:29.08\00:07:31.71
found out that it was more
like a mental health boot camp.
00:07:31.75\00:07:34.25
Yeah.
00:07:34.28\00:07:35.62
It's, so it was
vastly different,
00:07:35.65\00:07:37.39
but it's what I needed.
00:07:37.42\00:07:38.82
I just didn't know at the time.
00:07:38.85\00:07:40.19
Yeah. So, okay.
00:07:40.22\00:07:41.56
So tell, let's just, let's
just follow on with your story.
00:07:41.59\00:07:45.09
Just tell us about
maybe your trip there
00:07:45.13\00:07:47.30
and then what
happened when you got there?
00:07:47.33\00:07:49.26
So the trip there was, okay.
00:07:49.30\00:07:51.23
I mean, there wasn't
a lot of event fullness.
00:07:51.27\00:07:53.23
I just flew to California.
00:07:53.27\00:07:55.00
From DFW. From DFW.
00:07:55.04\00:07:56.94
You've probably
landed in Sac Central.
00:07:56.97\00:07:58.84
Right. Landed in Sacramento.
00:07:58.87\00:08:00.21
Sacramento
International Airport.
00:08:00.24\00:08:01.58
I was smoking at the time.
00:08:01.61\00:08:02.94
So I had one last
cigarette at the airport
00:08:02.98\00:08:04.78
before Daniel picked me up.
00:08:04.81\00:08:06.58
So... Daniel?
00:08:06.61\00:08:07.95
Daniel was the
one that picked me up.
00:08:07.98\00:08:09.32
He used to do massage
there for a day or two?
00:08:09.35\00:08:10.69
Yes.
00:08:10.72\00:08:12.05
Yes, he's the missionary pilot
from Venezuela that comes in,
00:08:12.09\00:08:14.42
does the program.
00:08:14.46\00:08:15.79
He has an
incredible story. He does.
00:08:15.82\00:08:17.19
He lives in the
jungle, in the bush.
00:08:17.23\00:08:18.56
Yes. It's amazing.
00:08:18.59\00:08:19.93
And he helps kids.
00:08:19.96\00:08:21.30
I know he's incredible.
00:08:21.33\00:08:22.66
Him and his wife, both,
they do a lot of mission
00:08:22.70\00:08:24.03
and outreach and things
and he was, he was a very...
00:08:24.07\00:08:27.47
He was very kind,
'cause I was very difficult.
00:08:27.50\00:08:30.64
So Daniel picked
you up at the airport?
00:08:30.67\00:08:32.31
Yes.
00:08:32.34\00:08:33.68
Drove you an hour
north to Weimar Institute.
00:08:33.71\00:08:35.88
That's right. Yeah.
00:08:35.91\00:08:37.41
And he was trying
to make small talk,
00:08:37.45\00:08:39.51
but I was pretty closed off.
00:08:39.55\00:08:43.28
Really my thoughts
towards other people,
00:08:43.32\00:08:46.32
I just was pretty closed off
00:08:46.35\00:08:48.52
and just
wanting to just isolate,
00:08:48.56\00:08:50.59
do my own thing.
00:08:50.63\00:08:52.93
You know, stick
with my bad habits
00:08:52.96\00:08:55.50
and just, you know, everyone
just kinda keep a distance.
00:08:55.53\00:08:58.43
And going to the program,
00:08:58.47\00:09:00.74
I didn't know
really what to expect.
00:09:00.77\00:09:03.57
But I got there and
it's not the poolside.
00:09:03.61\00:09:08.38
It was, you know, I had
gone away from the church
00:09:08.41\00:09:11.88
and so I had a negative
view about God in the church.
00:09:11.91\00:09:15.05
And so when I got there,
00:09:15.08\00:09:16.42
I realized it was a
very spiritual atmosphere.
00:09:16.45\00:09:19.15
I was not going
to be able to smoke
00:09:19.19\00:09:21.02
in that setting
00:09:21.06\00:09:22.52
and I just wanted out.
00:09:22.56\00:09:24.89
I was not onboard
00:09:24.93\00:09:26.56
with the
program from the get-go.
00:09:26.59\00:09:28.50
I was pretty like,
okay, I want out of here.
00:09:28.53\00:09:31.50
I didn't know
where I was going to go.
00:09:31.53\00:09:32.87
I just wanted out of it.
00:09:32.90\00:09:34.24
And did you, were you still
on medication at that point?
00:09:34.27\00:09:36.00
Yeah.
00:09:36.04\00:09:37.37
Do you remember
what you were taking?
00:09:37.41\00:09:38.74
I think it was Clonazepam,
00:09:38.77\00:09:40.41
I was on the
stair-step medications.
00:09:40.44\00:09:42.74
I was on
Trazodone, Adderall, Cymbalta.
00:09:42.78\00:09:47.82
And there was something
else that they had me on.
00:09:47.85\00:09:49.75
So I was on the five or six
00:09:49.78\00:09:51.12
different heavy duty
pharmaceutical drugs.
00:09:51.15\00:09:53.99
And were you
drinking at that point too?
00:09:54.02\00:09:55.99
At that point I
wasn't, I've been sober.
00:09:56.02\00:09:57.36
Just smoking and no other drugs?
00:09:57.39\00:09:59.66
No other drugs. Yeah.
00:09:59.69\00:10:01.26
Only prescription.
00:10:01.30\00:10:03.73
And were you...
00:10:03.77\00:10:05.87
As far as your
thoughts about God,
00:10:05.90\00:10:07.24
you said you just wanted
00:10:07.27\00:10:08.60
really nothing to do
with Him at that point?
00:10:08.64\00:10:09.97
I didn't want anything, yeah.
00:10:10.01\00:10:11.77
And you weren't planning
on any of that changing?
00:10:11.81\00:10:13.64
No, I was pretty...
00:10:13.68\00:10:15.68
I'm curious also where
you, how about your sleeping,
00:10:15.71\00:10:17.45
where you, a lot of people
that go through the program,
00:10:17.48\00:10:19.08
like when I went through it,
00:10:19.11\00:10:21.65
there was four days in a row,
00:10:21.68\00:10:23.92
four nights in a row
00:10:23.95\00:10:25.35
where actually I
didn't sleep at all.
00:10:25.39\00:10:26.96
That was the
worst of my insomnia
00:10:26.99\00:10:29.32
was four nights
in a row, no sleep.
00:10:29.36\00:10:32.79
Yeah. It was awful.
00:10:32.83\00:10:34.16
So how about you, were
you sleeping at that time?
00:10:34.20\00:10:36.56
Sometimes I'd stay up 24 hours
00:10:36.60\00:10:39.07
and then just hit
the ground running
00:10:39.10\00:10:42.14
just, you know,
00:10:42.17\00:10:43.51
and there'd be
times I was just...
00:10:43.54\00:10:44.94
I don't know, it
was just adrenaline,
00:10:44.97\00:10:46.47
and I guess.
00:10:46.51\00:10:48.64
I had issues with
sleep too, a lot of insomnia,
00:10:48.68\00:10:50.75
a lot of anxiety.
00:10:50.78\00:10:52.55
Sometimes I'd just lay
there just with racing thoughts
00:10:52.58\00:10:55.32
and just, I didn't know
how to turn my mind off.
00:10:55.35\00:10:58.35
I'm just like you are kind
of turn against me in a way.
00:10:58.39\00:11:00.56
And I'm like, how
do I turn this off.
00:11:00.59\00:11:02.46
Right.
00:11:02.49\00:11:03.83
Now, at that
time you were still,
00:11:03.86\00:11:05.39
you are an RN at the
Medical City Hospital,
00:11:05.43\00:11:07.40
correct?
00:11:07.43\00:11:08.76
At that time, I was at
a level-1 trauma center.
00:11:08.80\00:11:11.23
So I worked in intensive care.
00:11:11.27\00:11:13.34
So there was...
00:11:13.37\00:11:14.70
We'd have care
flights, flying traumas,
00:11:14.74\00:11:16.97
people, mass transfused.
00:11:17.01\00:11:18.67
So it was a lot of
high intensity situations,
00:11:18.71\00:11:21.71
life and death
situations at work.
00:11:21.74\00:11:24.21
You are on medication
during that whole time?
00:11:24.25\00:11:25.95
I was on medication.
00:11:25.98\00:11:27.32
Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:27.35\00:11:28.68
Did that affect
your ability to think?
00:11:28.72\00:11:30.05
I'm sure it did.
00:11:30.09\00:11:31.42
At the time I
was able to still do,
00:11:31.45\00:11:34.29
you don't have good
reviews at work by God's grace
00:11:34.32\00:11:37.13
and still be able to
take care of patients,
00:11:37.16\00:11:39.19
but you know,
00:11:39.23\00:11:40.56
when Dr. Nedley saw the
list of medications I was on
00:11:40.60\00:11:43.77
and what I did, he's like, okay,
00:11:43.80\00:11:46.13
he's like, your
brain is operational.
00:11:46.17\00:11:47.80
We need to get
you off of this stuff
00:11:47.84\00:11:49.50
and get it better.
00:11:49.54\00:11:51.31
We could optimize it.
00:11:51.34\00:11:52.67
So it was, it was hard.
00:11:52.71\00:11:55.61
And, so you were on medication
and you were still smoking.
00:11:55.64\00:11:57.68
You didn't want God,
00:11:57.71\00:11:59.05
you didn't, you thought Weimar
was going to be a vacation.
00:11:59.08\00:12:01.38
Yeah.
00:12:01.42\00:12:02.75
You didn't really know
what you're getting into.
00:12:02.78\00:12:04.12
You're there because your
mother wanted you to there.
00:12:04.15\00:12:05.49
She knew what you were
going to be getting into.
00:12:05.52\00:12:07.09
Right, right.
00:12:07.12\00:12:08.46
And so, you landed there,
00:12:08.49\00:12:09.82
Daniel who's one of
the massage therapists
00:12:09.86\00:12:11.93
picked you up, drove you
00:12:11.96\00:12:13.63
and you drove on the
campus and then what happened?
00:12:13.66\00:12:15.80
Ooh.
00:12:15.83\00:12:18.63
I was upset.
00:12:18.67\00:12:21.17
You know, I think
I took my cigarettes
00:12:21.20\00:12:23.57
and went down to
the river or something
00:12:23.61\00:12:25.67
and I was trying
to take these tests
00:12:25.71\00:12:27.51
'cause they have you
take a bunch of tests
00:12:27.54\00:12:28.88
when you first come in, like,
00:12:28.91\00:12:30.41
you know, your
PQ-9 and your DAT test.
00:12:30.45\00:12:32.51
And so I'm answering
all these things and,
00:12:32.55\00:12:34.62
you know, I just
was not a happy camper.
00:12:34.65\00:12:36.18
I just didn't want to be there.
00:12:36.22\00:12:38.05
So it was, it was hard.
00:12:38.09\00:12:40.12
I feel bad looking back
00:12:40.16\00:12:41.49
of how difficult
I was to deal with.
00:12:41.52\00:12:45.09
And I feel sincerely
sorry towards Dr. Nedley for,
00:12:45.13\00:12:48.53
you know, that was difficult.
00:12:48.56\00:12:49.90
The staff really
was patient with me,
00:12:49.93\00:12:52.53
really, really patient.
00:12:52.57\00:12:54.74
They basically
loved me back to life
00:12:54.77\00:12:56.84
is how I, how I term it.
00:12:56.87\00:12:59.34
So then, the Nedley program
00:12:59.37\00:13:02.54
you're, you're with how
many about 19 other people
00:13:02.58\00:13:04.98
or 20 other people?
00:13:05.01\00:13:06.35
Twenty three other people.
00:13:06.38\00:13:07.72
And you're there for 10 days,
00:13:07.75\00:13:09.08
and you're pretty much isolated
00:13:09.12\00:13:10.45
from the rest of the world?
00:13:10.49\00:13:11.82
Right. And you're given a room?
00:13:11.85\00:13:13.19
Right.
00:13:13.22\00:13:14.56
I'm assuming at the Weimar
in, you had a room at the end.
00:13:14.59\00:13:16.12
I had a room at the end
00:13:16.16\00:13:17.79
and then they have
sort of an orientation
00:13:17.83\00:13:20.00
that kind of
tells us what to expect.
00:13:20.03\00:13:22.80
You fill out some paperwork...
00:13:22.83\00:13:24.23
Right.
00:13:24.27\00:13:25.60
And you look around
and you see other people
00:13:25.63\00:13:27.20
that are depressed and
anxious and not sleeping.
00:13:27.24\00:13:29.57
And one thing they told me,
00:13:29.60\00:13:30.94
or they told the group that
00:13:30.97\00:13:32.31
when you get up in the morning,
00:13:32.34\00:13:33.68
if you're making friends
00:13:33.71\00:13:35.04
with the other participants
00:13:35.08\00:13:36.41
that they don't want you to,
00:13:36.44\00:13:38.31
you know, ask, like, if
I saw you in the morning,
00:13:38.35\00:13:40.42
you know, how'd you sleep.
00:13:40.45\00:13:41.95
They don't want you
to say, how'd you sleep?
00:13:41.98\00:13:43.39
How'd you
sleep? How'd you sleep?
00:13:43.42\00:13:44.75
Because most, a lot of
times people don't sleep well.
00:13:44.79\00:13:47.12
Right.
00:13:47.16\00:13:48.49
And they don't just, you know,
00:13:48.52\00:13:49.86
they'd rather
just kind of keep that
00:13:49.89\00:13:51.39
under wraps at this
point, not talk about it.
00:13:51.43\00:13:53.60
Right. They still say it.
00:13:53.63\00:13:54.96
So, okay.
00:13:55.00\00:13:56.33
So let's go on what...
00:13:56.36\00:13:57.70
It's 10 days and you got
there, you got your room.
00:13:57.73\00:13:59.70
You didn't want to be there
00:13:59.73\00:14:01.47
and you started
getting some blood tests...
00:14:01.50\00:14:03.24
Yeah. And keep going.
00:14:03.27\00:14:05.74
What they discovered
in the program too, is
00:14:05.77\00:14:08.18
they do
comprehensive panels on lab work
00:14:08.21\00:14:12.21
and they do something
called the Walsh panel.
00:14:12.25\00:14:14.55
And that's not
something that's typically done
00:14:14.58\00:14:16.42
in most other programs.
00:14:16.45\00:14:17.79
So that's something
that Dr. Nedley trained on
00:14:17.82\00:14:19.59
specifically to try
to help participants
00:14:19.62\00:14:22.42
with its epigenetics,
00:14:22.46\00:14:24.89
basically with
epigenetics it said that
00:14:24.93\00:14:27.93
lifestyle loads the gun,
00:14:27.96\00:14:29.76
or no genetics loads the gun
00:14:29.80\00:14:31.40
and lifestyle pulls the trigger.
00:14:31.43\00:14:33.60
And so some things
can actually be changed.
00:14:33.64\00:14:36.20
And so in looking
00:14:36.24\00:14:38.57
at some of the
genetic profiling though,
00:14:38.61\00:14:41.01
that he did discover I have
a metal metabolism disorder.
00:14:41.04\00:14:43.98
So what that is,
00:14:44.01\00:14:45.35
is typically we'll
have cellular plasma in.
00:14:45.38\00:14:47.25
It's kind of the
carrier for copper
00:14:47.28\00:14:49.28
that will draw
that out of yourself.
00:14:49.32\00:14:51.92
If it does not do that,
00:14:51.95\00:14:53.29
there's some
sort of dysfunction,
00:14:53.32\00:14:54.66
it can manifest
itself with depression
00:14:54.69\00:14:57.73
and low norepine or
high norepinephrine.
00:14:57.76\00:15:00.60
And basically like
00:15:00.63\00:15:02.03
you just don't take a
lot of pleasure in life.
00:15:02.06\00:15:04.23
And so that's what I had.
00:15:04.27\00:15:05.60
And so there was a
genetic component too.
00:15:05.63\00:15:07.90
So with the copper,
00:15:07.94\00:15:09.30
does that mean
that there's more copper
00:15:09.34\00:15:11.27
floating around
in your bloodstream?
00:15:11.31\00:15:12.87
Yes, precisely. So, yeah.
00:15:12.91\00:15:14.28
So it's, it's interesting that
you have similar to what I had
00:15:14.31\00:15:18.35
'cause I, when I got to
Weimar for the first time,
00:15:18.38\00:15:20.35
I... This was in
the summer of 2017,
00:15:20.38\00:15:22.68
I was very depressed
00:15:22.72\00:15:24.25
and I was on Lorazepam
00:15:24.29\00:15:25.62
and I mentioned
that last program.
00:15:25.65\00:15:26.99
That's why Dr.
Nedley told me on the phone,
00:15:27.02\00:15:29.02
you've got to get down here.
00:15:29.06\00:15:30.69
And, and I went
there and I was, you know,
00:15:30.73\00:15:34.10
all mixed up and messed up.
00:15:34.13\00:15:35.53
Didn't know if there
was, if it was possible
00:15:35.56\00:15:37.30
that anybody could help me
and they did the blood work,
00:15:37.33\00:15:40.04
just like they did with you.
00:15:40.07\00:15:41.40
And Dr. Nedley
looked at my chart
00:15:41.44\00:15:42.77
and he saw that in my brain,
00:15:42.80\00:15:45.07
there was a very
elevated norepinephrine,
00:15:45.11\00:15:47.98
just like with you.
00:15:48.01\00:15:49.34
And there was very
elevated free copper,
00:15:49.38\00:15:52.28
just like with you and those,
00:15:52.31\00:15:54.65
you know, imbalances contribute
to all kinds of problems.
00:15:54.68\00:16:00.29
And I've learned that,
00:16:00.32\00:16:02.09
you know, as we've talked about
00:16:02.12\00:16:03.79
sometimes people are depressed
00:16:03.83\00:16:05.16
because of some event
00:16:05.19\00:16:06.86
that happens in their lives,
00:16:06.90\00:16:08.23
or they don't have hope,
00:16:08.26\00:16:09.60
or they're just,
you know, discouraged
00:16:09.63\00:16:10.97
because of finances or a
marriage or whatever else.
00:16:11.00\00:16:15.04
And there are other times
00:16:15.07\00:16:16.60
that there's
just a chemical issue
00:16:16.64\00:16:19.21
going on in the brain
00:16:19.24\00:16:21.18
for whatever
reason, maybe it's genetics,
00:16:21.21\00:16:24.18
too much free copper,
too much norepinephrine.
00:16:24.21\00:16:28.62
And that just helps
contribute to the slide.
00:16:28.65\00:16:32.32
Right.
00:16:32.35\00:16:33.69
And that's, again, one
of the wonderful things
00:16:33.72\00:16:35.09
about Dr.
Nedley's program is that
00:16:35.12\00:16:37.26
he looks at all of these things.
00:16:37.29\00:16:38.96
He doesn't just,
you know, diagnose you,
00:16:38.99\00:16:41.60
oh, you're depressed.
00:16:41.63\00:16:43.03
Let me give you a medicine.
00:16:43.06\00:16:44.83
But he looks at your blood work,
00:16:44.87\00:16:46.20
and he says,
00:16:46.23\00:16:47.57
Ah, here's all
these things going on.
00:16:47.60\00:16:49.54
And let's see if we can give you
00:16:49.57\00:16:50.91
some supplements
to help with this.
00:16:50.94\00:16:52.91
Right. Yeah.
00:16:52.94\00:16:54.28
And that's very helpful
00:16:54.31\00:16:55.64
for a lot of
people too coming in.
00:16:55.68\00:16:57.01
And it was very
hopeful for me to find that out
00:16:57.05\00:16:58.55
because then it's,
it's one thing to be,
00:16:58.58\00:17:01.92
you know, having a label,
00:17:01.95\00:17:04.02
for instance, like,
00:17:04.05\00:17:05.39
'cause sometimes
people can start to identify
00:17:05.42\00:17:06.96
with a label like,
00:17:06.99\00:17:08.32
oh, I'm depressed,
that's my identity.
00:17:08.36\00:17:10.09
And it's not as
much of an identity,
00:17:10.13\00:17:12.33
but a diagnostic
criteria for other practitioners
00:17:12.36\00:17:15.13
to know that this is
the cascade of symptoms
00:17:15.16\00:17:17.60
that we need to be
on the lookout for.
00:17:17.63\00:17:19.43
So I think that
can kind of blur.
00:17:19.47\00:17:21.94
So to have a solution
was very, very good to have.
00:17:21.97\00:17:25.14
And so he did do
supplements, zinc
00:17:25.17\00:17:27.38
because copper and zinc
need to be a one-to-one ratio.
00:17:27.41\00:17:30.31
So it said that
00:17:30.35\00:17:31.68
if you give more
zinc than copper,
00:17:31.71\00:17:33.92
then it flushes the copper out
00:17:33.95\00:17:35.28
and you have a
more normalized balance.
00:17:35.32\00:17:38.15
And so that testing was done.
00:17:38.19\00:17:41.09
Then with the DAT testing,
00:17:41.12\00:17:42.49
there's the 10
different categories
00:17:42.52\00:17:44.43
that you're probably
familiar with that Dr. Nedley
00:17:44.46\00:17:47.20
came up with the
depression anxiety test.
00:17:47.23\00:17:50.20
So you can have
genetic lifestyle.
00:17:50.23\00:17:53.70
I think it's exercise.
00:17:53.74\00:17:55.57
There's a...
00:17:55.60\00:17:56.94
There's 10
different categories that,
00:17:56.97\00:17:58.31
oh, I think in
basically the home life.
00:17:58.34\00:18:01.98
So there's some different things
00:18:02.01\00:18:03.35
that cannot be changed,
00:18:03.38\00:18:04.71
but the good news is
eight out of 10 can be.
00:18:04.75\00:18:07.45
So when I went
through the program,
00:18:07.48\00:18:08.82
I had nine out of 10
hits, and so that was high.
00:18:08.85\00:18:12.72
Which sure it explained
the fact with the depression.
00:18:12.75\00:18:14.62
Right.
00:18:14.66\00:18:15.99
You're depressed
because boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:18:16.02\00:18:17.36
Right. Exactly.
00:18:17.39\00:18:18.73
And so we started to kind
of, those started to change.
00:18:18.76\00:18:22.80
I was being taught as
you go through the program,
00:18:22.83\00:18:25.23
there's a lot of lectures.
00:18:25.27\00:18:26.94
So they do the hydrotherapy.
00:18:26.97\00:18:29.37
I don't know if
you touched on that,
00:18:29.40\00:18:31.14
but it's the hot and the cold.
00:18:31.17\00:18:32.51
We mentioned a little bit
in the last program. Yeah.
00:18:32.54\00:18:33.88
Yeah. Hot and
cold, hot and cold.
00:18:33.91\00:18:35.24
Some people love
it, some people hate it.
00:18:35.28\00:18:36.61
Some people, yeah.
00:18:36.64\00:18:37.98
I was kind of a
mixed, mixed bag.
00:18:38.01\00:18:39.51
When I first started,
00:18:39.55\00:18:40.88
I thought, how is
this going to help?
00:18:40.92\00:18:42.25
I just, I had a bad attitude
00:18:42.28\00:18:43.62
about a lot of things
coming from healthcare
00:18:43.65\00:18:45.82
and thinking that
00:18:45.85\00:18:47.19
these just sound
like quackery methods.
00:18:47.22\00:18:48.99
And that's kinda what I
was thinking in my head.
00:18:49.02\00:18:51.09
And then I started to
see Dr. Nedley's lectures
00:18:51.13\00:18:54.26
and I saw the
evident scientific research
00:18:54.30\00:18:57.07
that he was putting,
that really resonated
00:18:57.10\00:18:59.53
because that's indisputable.
00:18:59.57\00:19:00.90
A lot of people want
hard, cold scientific facts
00:19:00.94\00:19:03.64
and he delivered on that.
00:19:03.67\00:19:05.01
So I couldn't dispute that.
00:19:05.04\00:19:06.81
And plus I was seeing
people around me getting better
00:19:06.84\00:19:09.58
and I wasn't fully engaged.
00:19:09.61\00:19:11.18
I tried to leave
four or five times
00:19:11.21\00:19:14.98
and a one point
basically I was...
00:19:15.02\00:19:17.22
You tried to leave
four or five times?
00:19:17.25\00:19:18.59
Tried to leave the program.
00:19:18.62\00:19:19.95
How did you do that?
00:19:19.99\00:19:22.22
I called a taxi
00:19:22.26\00:19:23.83
and tried to
leave outside the gate
00:19:23.86\00:19:26.73
and Nathan Hyde, I
guess, intervened with the taxi.
00:19:26.76\00:19:30.60
And he went to the front gate
00:19:30.63\00:19:32.83
and was waiting for
the taxi to come, and...
00:19:32.87\00:19:34.74
How did he know
the taxi was coming?
00:19:34.77\00:19:36.44
It was, I think it was
somehow intercepted on the phone
00:19:36.47\00:19:39.87
where they had figured this out.
00:19:39.91\00:19:41.24
Now, they take your
phones away when you go through?
00:19:41.28\00:19:42.98
And I had my cell
phone I wasn't supposed to.
00:19:43.01\00:19:46.48
At one point, like I
kept it an extra day,
00:19:46.51\00:19:49.38
so I was not, not compliant.
00:19:49.42\00:19:51.49
I was one of the more
difficult participants.
00:19:51.52\00:19:53.96
You were a rebel.
00:19:53.99\00:19:55.32
I was definitely, yeah.
00:19:55.36\00:19:56.69
But not for a
cause, I don't know...
00:19:56.73\00:19:58.06
Yeah, more like
Jimmy Dean. Yeah, I was.
00:19:58.09\00:20:00.43
Were you were like Jimmy
Dean, rebel without a cause.
00:20:00.46\00:20:02.60
Without a cause,
I just don't know
00:20:02.63\00:20:04.33
where I was gonna go.
00:20:04.37\00:20:05.70
But so that was a challenge,
00:20:05.73\00:20:08.10
but yeah, it was, it
was an interesting ride.
00:20:08.14\00:20:11.37
So, Nathan found out
that you had called a taxi
00:20:11.41\00:20:15.41
to pick you up and
take you out of there.
00:20:15.44\00:20:16.98
Yes.
00:20:17.01\00:20:18.81
Where was the
taxi going to take you?
00:20:18.85\00:20:20.32
I had like a hotel in
Colfax where I was going to go.
00:20:20.35\00:20:25.25
And Dr. Nedley at one point,
he caught wind of all this
00:20:25.29\00:20:30.39
and he's like, we know
what you do at hotels, Christy.
00:20:30.43\00:20:32.73
We're not going
to let you go there.
00:20:32.76\00:20:34.66
And so...
00:20:34.70\00:20:36.13
Oh, because you had tried
to kill yourself in a hotel?
00:20:36.16\00:20:37.60
Yeah.
00:20:37.63\00:20:38.97
So he, he had, he's like,
we're not going to let you go.
00:20:39.00\00:20:41.10
Now how many
days into the program
00:20:41.14\00:20:42.97
did you call the taxi?
00:20:43.00\00:20:44.61
'Cause it's a 10-day program.
00:20:44.64\00:20:45.97
So was it the
second day, third day?
00:20:46.01\00:20:48.11
That point there
were some other times
00:20:48.14\00:20:49.94
that I had packed,
00:20:49.98\00:20:51.48
so I packed my suitcase
and basically try to go.
00:20:51.51\00:20:56.55
But at one point
Dr. Christina Harris,
00:20:56.58\00:20:59.52
I don't know if you've met her.
00:20:59.55\00:21:01.59
She tells her
testimony at the program,
00:21:01.62\00:21:03.16
but she, her and I
became like sisters.
00:21:03.19\00:21:06.26
I had said some
things that stuck out to her
00:21:06.29\00:21:09.76
and the staff that
she had also dealt with.
00:21:09.80\00:21:13.07
I said, I don't fit in.
00:21:13.10\00:21:14.67
I said, we're people
with, well, she didn't say this,
00:21:14.70\00:21:17.21
but I was like, where
all the people with tattoos,
00:21:17.24\00:21:18.77
I'm like, I can't relate.
00:21:18.81\00:21:20.48
Like, you know, I
just want to relate to,
00:21:20.51\00:21:22.61
to people like that.
00:21:22.64\00:21:23.98
And so she was sent to
my room and cried on my bed
00:21:24.01\00:21:28.32
because she did
not want me to leave.
00:21:28.35\00:21:30.15
And at first I
thought, this is crazy.
00:21:30.19\00:21:31.89
She doesn't even know
me. Why does she care?
00:21:31.92\00:21:34.56
And she showed
me empathy that day,
00:21:34.59\00:21:37.63
that someone
loved me enough to say,
00:21:37.66\00:21:39.83
no, we're not
going to let you do this.
00:21:39.86\00:21:41.20
And do you remember,
was this the second day
00:21:41.23\00:21:42.73
or third day or
fourth day or fifth day?
00:21:42.76\00:21:44.73
That specific instance,
I think was the second day.
00:21:44.77\00:21:48.10
Second day, so early on.
00:21:48.14\00:21:49.47
And just to clarify for those
that are there watching this,
00:21:49.50\00:21:53.07
the Weimar Nedley program,
00:21:53.11\00:21:54.48
it's 10 days
00:21:54.51\00:21:55.88
and there's
about 20 people there.
00:21:55.91\00:21:57.58
And then they're surrounded
00:21:57.61\00:21:58.95
also by a very qualified group
00:21:58.98\00:22:03.28
of loving, very intelligent,
00:22:03.32\00:22:06.72
empathetic staff
00:22:06.76\00:22:08.62
who are watching
over you at all times,
00:22:08.66\00:22:10.69
including Nathan
Hyde and including...
00:22:10.73\00:22:14.20
Dr. Harris.
00:22:14.23\00:22:15.56
Dr. Harris and
Daniel that's right,
00:22:15.60\00:22:18.97
and others.
00:22:19.00\00:22:20.34
And so they're
always watching you.
00:22:20.37\00:22:21.70
And so somehow they
intercepted your phone call
00:22:21.74\00:22:24.57
and found out
about your phone call
00:22:24.61\00:22:26.61
to call a taxi
and to go to a hotel.
00:22:26.64\00:22:29.44
And so Dr. Harris
then came into your room
00:22:29.48\00:22:32.81
and pleaded with
you not to do it.
00:22:32.85\00:22:34.22
Yeah.
00:22:34.25\00:22:35.58
This was a little
further down the line.
00:22:35.62\00:22:37.85
With actually I...
00:22:37.89\00:22:39.65
There was nothing that
was gonna work in my mind.
00:22:39.69\00:22:41.86
And so she called my
counselor at the time.
00:22:41.89\00:22:44.56
I said, Flavio is
not going to work.
00:22:44.59\00:22:46.80
I'm not going to work.
00:22:46.83\00:22:48.16
Dr. Nedley, you're
going to have to get here
00:22:48.20\00:22:49.53
and help us out.
00:22:49.56\00:22:50.90
And so he came out of his office
00:22:50.93\00:22:52.27
and I had my bag packed.
00:22:52.30\00:22:53.64
I was on the third
floor, lugging my suitcase down.
00:22:53.67\00:22:56.10
He stops me in the middle
of landing there and says,
00:22:56.14\00:22:59.11
"Where are you
going? What are you doing?"
00:22:59.14\00:23:01.11
And I'm like, "I'm
going out. I'm going home."
00:23:01.14\00:23:03.18
And he's like, "Really?"
00:23:03.21\00:23:04.55
And so he's like,
"Where are you planning to go?"
00:23:04.58\00:23:06.78
And he asked me a
really poignant question
00:23:06.82\00:23:08.78
that I had no answer to.
00:23:08.82\00:23:10.55
He said, "What have we
done here to harm you?"
00:23:10.59\00:23:13.49
And I had to stop and
pause. And I said nothing.
00:23:13.52\00:23:17.03
And he said, "Where
are you going to go?"
00:23:17.06\00:23:18.39
And I said, "Take me to
the Psychiatric Institute
00:23:18.43\00:23:20.40
in Sacramento,
I'll fit in there."
00:23:20.43\00:23:22.73
And he's, he had nothing to do
00:23:22.76\00:23:25.60
as a critical care physician.
00:23:25.63\00:23:27.77
He had to call over next of kin,
00:23:27.80\00:23:29.50
which is my mom and dad,
00:23:29.54\00:23:30.87
and let them know of
a change in condition
00:23:30.91\00:23:32.41
like you would in
a hospital setting.
00:23:32.44\00:23:34.54
And he half
expected them to say,
00:23:34.58\00:23:36.41
you know, let her go.
00:23:36.44\00:23:37.78
We'll take her to the
psych institute again.
00:23:37.81\00:23:39.31
And they said,
00:23:39.35\00:23:40.68
"No, Dr. Nedley,
do everything you can
00:23:40.72\00:23:42.05
to keep her there."
00:23:42.08\00:23:43.42
So my parents were instrumental
in this whole entire thing,
00:23:43.45\00:23:48.26
having the faith
that I could get help.
00:23:48.29\00:23:51.19
And so they said
to keep me there.
00:23:51.23\00:23:53.29
So it's by God's
grace and my parents
00:23:53.33\00:23:55.93
and Dr. Nedley working together
to keep me in this program.
00:23:55.96\00:23:59.10
So... Wow.
00:23:59.13\00:24:00.47
And again, just to clarify that
00:24:00.50\00:24:01.84
the program is a
multifaceted program
00:24:01.87\00:24:05.17
where Dr. Nedley and others,
00:24:05.21\00:24:08.34
like Dr.
Harris, Christina Harris
00:24:08.38\00:24:10.25
are giving lectures,
00:24:10.28\00:24:12.51
teaching about depression
and anxiety and the causes
00:24:12.55\00:24:15.62
and the things to do to get
out of this and suicidal issues.
00:24:15.65\00:24:20.36
So you have lectures.
00:24:20.39\00:24:21.72
You also have, you're given
00:24:21.76\00:24:23.93
a plant-based very healthy diet
00:24:23.96\00:24:27.03
for your meals.
00:24:27.06\00:24:28.40
Your phone is taken away
00:24:28.43\00:24:29.93
except for 45
minutes in the evening.
00:24:29.96\00:24:32.50
At least that's
what it's supposed to be,
00:24:32.53\00:24:33.87
that you had, you had
kind of circumvented that
00:24:33.90\00:24:36.40
with your phone.
00:24:36.44\00:24:37.77
Yeah.
00:24:37.81\00:24:39.14
And then you also
have hydrotherapy,
00:24:39.17\00:24:40.51
which is hot and
cold water treatments.
00:24:40.54\00:24:42.18
You get massage,
00:24:42.21\00:24:43.55
you have a very
vigorous exercise program,
00:24:43.58\00:24:48.25
lights out at 9 o'clock.
00:24:48.28\00:24:50.79
I remember Daniel
knocking on my door
00:24:50.82\00:24:54.12
at 5:30 every morning
time to get up and exercise.
00:24:54.16\00:24:57.26
That's right.
00:24:57.29\00:24:58.63
And so, it's a
very intense program
00:24:58.66\00:25:00.73
that, that deals with
a whole host of things,
00:25:00.76\00:25:03.37
basically, to try
to reboot your body
00:25:03.40\00:25:06.97
and your mind and your
life along with the blood work,
00:25:07.00\00:25:09.74
and Dr. Nedley
looking at all the details
00:25:09.77\00:25:11.44
that he sees in the charts
and recommending supplements.
00:25:11.47\00:25:15.11
So it's this
whole combination of,
00:25:15.14\00:25:17.95
it's kind of like
a health boot camp
00:25:17.98\00:25:20.12
and all the, and
the staff are all,
00:25:20.15\00:25:21.98
you know, committed to
helping you get through this.
00:25:22.02\00:25:24.75
That's right.
00:25:24.79\00:25:26.12
That's what it's all
about. Yeah, absolutely.
00:25:26.15\00:25:27.99
So Dr. Nedley stood
there and stopped you?
00:25:28.02\00:25:31.59
He stopped me. Yeah.
00:25:31.63\00:25:32.99
I know, we kind of
laugh about it today,
00:25:33.03\00:25:34.50
but you know, at the time
00:25:34.53\00:25:36.67
it was, I think I
pulled something out of,
00:25:36.70\00:25:39.53
you know, I thought
this was a voluntary program.
00:25:39.57\00:25:42.64
Let me talk to
my lawyers and we...
00:25:42.67\00:25:45.84
Dr. Nedley and I have,
00:25:45.87\00:25:47.21
if we were sitting here
we'd be laughing about it
00:25:47.24\00:25:48.58
and I've apologized
00:25:48.61\00:25:50.25
because I was just ridiculous.
00:25:50.28\00:25:52.51
And so he, you know, obviously
had to do his due diligence
00:25:52.55\00:25:56.35
and call my family and all that.
00:25:56.38\00:25:58.22
So he was very
gracious, allowed me to stay.
00:25:58.25\00:26:01.79
And Dr. Harris was like,
00:26:01.82\00:26:03.93
I asked her, I'm like,
00:26:03.96\00:26:05.29
well, what am I
going to do in three days?
00:26:05.33\00:26:06.96
'Cause I had the
three-day program
00:26:07.00\00:26:08.43
at that point.
00:26:08.46\00:26:09.83
She remembered
the resurrection...
00:26:09.86\00:26:11.20
So it wasn't a 10-day program?
00:26:11.23\00:26:12.57
It was 10 day,
but I wasn't engaged.
00:26:12.60\00:26:14.74
Like that was
basically the pivotal point
00:26:14.77\00:26:17.61
is the last three days.
00:26:17.64\00:26:19.87
So that all happened
with Dr. Nedley on the stairs
00:26:19.91\00:26:22.28
and wanting to
leave on the seventh day.
00:26:22.31\00:26:24.81
And basically Dr.
Nedley told his staff
00:26:24.85\00:26:27.82
though that legally
we cannot keep her here.
00:26:27.85\00:26:30.42
She's in danger.
00:26:30.45\00:26:31.79
And you know, we
don't have the staff
00:26:31.82\00:26:33.22
to keep her on site.
00:26:33.25\00:26:34.59
So we need to send
her to Sacramento site,
00:26:34.62\00:26:36.62
unless you
sleep outside her door
00:26:36.66\00:26:38.93
and take shifts
00:26:38.96\00:26:40.33
and cycle in and out
and watch her all night.
00:26:40.36\00:26:43.00
And they did
that. They did that?
00:26:43.03\00:26:44.53
Linda, the program director,
it was Pilaar, one of the...
00:26:44.57\00:26:48.70
She helps with the program
and then Christina Harris
00:26:48.74\00:26:52.17
and it might've been Priscilla,
the nurse at the time,
00:26:52.21\00:26:54.31
actually, it might
not have been Linda,
00:26:54.34\00:26:55.68
but the three of
them basically cycled.
00:26:55.71\00:26:57.85
And they slipped
outside your door?
00:26:57.88\00:26:59.21
They slept outside my door.
00:26:59.25\00:27:00.58
I had no idea
this was happening.
00:27:00.62\00:27:01.98
Wow. Yeah.
00:27:02.02\00:27:03.35
I slept all night.
00:27:03.39\00:27:04.72
You know... Yeah.
00:27:04.75\00:27:06.09
I wonder how, I mean, I'm
sure there's so many people
00:27:06.12\00:27:07.82
that struggle with
these issues that if they had,
00:27:07.86\00:27:10.46
if they were in an
environment surrounded by people
00:27:10.49\00:27:12.59
that were trying to help them,
00:27:12.63\00:27:14.50
you know, how many
people would get out of this.
00:27:14.53\00:27:16.13
Yes, exactly.
00:27:16.16\00:27:17.50
And what we'll
talk about at the end,
00:27:17.53\00:27:18.87
the last part three,
00:27:18.90\00:27:20.24
we'll go into the resources
that are available to people
00:27:20.27\00:27:23.04
because they don't...
00:27:23.07\00:27:24.41
If they go through
the 10- day program,
00:27:24.44\00:27:25.77
that's fantastic.
00:27:25.81\00:27:27.14
But some people
can't afford that.
00:27:27.18\00:27:28.51
Right. And so
there's other options.
00:27:28.54\00:27:30.15
There's a home program,
there's a community program.
00:27:30.18\00:27:32.05
There's different
programs, different ways.
00:27:32.08\00:27:34.05
So we'll get into all that.
00:27:34.08\00:27:36.25
But I want to, let's go back to,
00:27:36.28\00:27:40.39
you know, at what point
did you feel like exercising
00:27:40.42\00:27:45.13
and eating a good diet
00:27:45.16\00:27:47.70
was beginning to
actually help you to,
00:27:47.73\00:27:51.23
you know, when did
you kind of get on board?
00:27:51.27\00:27:53.64
What was, I mean,
Dr. Nedley stopped you,
00:27:53.67\00:27:55.30
but when did you,
00:27:55.34\00:27:56.87
when did you decide,
00:27:56.91\00:27:58.87
I really I'm going
to give this a try?
00:27:58.91\00:28:01.58
It was the last three days.
00:28:01.61\00:28:03.65
I was very engaged,
00:28:03.68\00:28:05.01
but Dr. Nedley said,
00:28:05.05\00:28:06.38
well, you've had
the three-day program.
00:28:06.41\00:28:07.75
You need to stay and you know...
00:28:07.78\00:28:09.98
What do you mean
the three-day program?
00:28:10.02\00:28:11.49
You said, you've been
there for seven days, right?
00:28:11.52\00:28:13.89
And then three days
were the engaged days, right?
00:28:13.92\00:28:15.72
Right.
00:28:15.76\00:28:17.09
So, he considered really, like,
00:28:17.13\00:28:18.46
you went through
a three-day program
00:28:18.49\00:28:19.83
because the first seven
days you just weren't into it?
00:28:19.86\00:28:21.20
Exactly.
00:28:21.23\00:28:22.56
So I was trying to run
00:28:22.60\00:28:23.93
and I was coming
off of medications.
00:28:23.97\00:28:25.30
And so I just wasn't
able to rationally be present
00:28:25.33\00:28:29.20
for a lot of the, the lectures
00:28:29.24\00:28:30.94
just 'cause my mind was hurting.
00:28:30.97\00:28:33.07
Yeah.
00:28:33.11\00:28:34.44
And so he's
like, you need to stay.
00:28:34.48\00:28:35.88
And so I told him, I
would think about it.
00:28:35.91\00:28:37.88
Really I had a date
with this millionaire
00:28:37.91\00:28:40.08
when I got home.
00:28:40.12\00:28:41.45
And so I was thinking about this
00:28:41.48\00:28:42.82
and I was going to go home.
00:28:42.85\00:28:44.19
So I told him, I think about it.
00:28:44.22\00:28:45.55
But there is a
point in the program
00:28:45.59\00:28:46.92
where we have a burning
00:28:46.96\00:28:48.29
and basically you put
all the different things
00:28:48.32\00:28:49.66
you may remember you put.
00:28:49.69\00:28:51.29
You can put misbeliefs
and you can put medications.
00:28:51.33\00:28:53.60
It's whatever you
want to put in there
00:28:53.63\00:28:54.96
that you just want
to get out of your life.
00:28:55.00\00:28:56.33
Things you want to get rid of,
00:28:56.36\00:28:57.70
you write them
on a piece of paper
00:28:57.73\00:28:59.07
and then burn them?
00:28:59.10\00:29:00.44
And then you put it on the fire
00:29:00.47\00:29:01.80
and you make you
say it public testimony
00:29:01.84\00:29:03.17
and studies have
shown that if you do that,
00:29:03.20\00:29:04.67
you're more
likely to stick with it.
00:29:04.71\00:29:06.11
And so I stood up, I said,
00:29:06.14\00:29:07.48
I was going to put
meat into the fire.
00:29:07.51\00:29:09.34
I was going to put my
cigarettes into the fire
00:29:09.38\00:29:11.61
and I was going to put
my relationship with men
00:29:11.65\00:29:13.45
into the fire.
00:29:13.48\00:29:14.82
And so I put all those things.
00:29:14.85\00:29:16.18
The staff was
pretty happy about those.
00:29:16.22\00:29:18.52
They weren't
expecting a lot for me.
00:29:18.55\00:29:20.12
They weren't sure
00:29:20.16\00:29:21.49
what I was even going to put in.
00:29:21.52\00:29:22.86
So they were happy about that.
00:29:22.89\00:29:24.93
But then I go home,
00:29:24.96\00:29:26.29
I have this
date and I'm at home.
00:29:26.33\00:29:29.50
I'm jogging in my
parents' neighborhood.
00:29:29.53\00:29:32.30
And I... So now you're done?
00:29:32.33\00:29:33.70
I'm done.
00:29:33.74\00:29:35.07
Now, you're subscribing
at the end of the program,
00:29:35.10\00:29:36.44
you went home?
00:29:36.47\00:29:37.81
Yeah, and then I went home,
so I didn't end up staying.
00:29:37.84\00:29:39.17
He's like, well,
you know where we're at?
00:29:39.21\00:29:40.54
That's what Dr. Nedley said.
00:29:40.58\00:29:41.91
I said, okay.
00:29:41.94\00:29:43.28
So he was anticipating
I would need to come back.
00:29:43.31\00:29:46.11
So I went home, I
was following the program
00:29:46.15\00:29:47.75
as much as I could.
00:29:47.78\00:29:49.12
My parents saw a
pretty big turnaround,
00:29:49.15\00:29:50.89
even in that
short amount of time.
00:29:50.92\00:29:52.42
Now, did he take
you off all the benzos
00:29:52.45\00:29:54.49
and all the
meds that you were on
00:29:54.52\00:29:56.16
during those 10 days?
00:29:56.19\00:29:57.53
Everything, except Trazadone.
00:29:57.56\00:29:58.89
That was the last
thing that he took me off of,
00:29:58.93\00:30:00.70
but all the other
things I was off of.
00:30:00.73\00:30:02.66
And did you go
through side effects?
00:30:02.70\00:30:04.07
Oh, yes, it was, it was rough.
00:30:04.10\00:30:07.90
A lot of feeling
00:30:07.94\00:30:11.17
kind of
disconnected from my body.
00:30:11.21\00:30:13.71
It's kind of hard to articulate,
00:30:13.74\00:30:15.08
but just weird side effects.
00:30:15.11\00:30:17.35
I don't know if you can attest
to what you had went through,
00:30:17.38\00:30:20.08
but just not feeling myself,
just not thinking right just...
00:30:20.12\00:30:24.02
I mean, when I went through,
00:30:24.05\00:30:25.39
when I was there and
I went through the...
00:30:25.42\00:30:26.76
I mentioned in part one
00:30:26.79\00:30:28.12
that I went four
days without sleeping.
00:30:28.16\00:30:29.72
Yeah.
00:30:29.76\00:30:31.09
I think it was a part one,
maybe I mentioned it part two,
00:30:31.13\00:30:32.59
four days without sleeping.
00:30:32.63\00:30:34.80
And I was getting off the benzo.
00:30:34.83\00:30:37.43
The Lorazepam was, was my benzo
that Dr. Nedley took me off
00:30:37.47\00:30:40.97
and he warned me.
00:30:41.00\00:30:42.34
He said, you're
going to have two weeks
00:30:42.37\00:30:43.71
where it's going to
be a nightmare for you,
00:30:43.74\00:30:45.07
but you'll get through it.
00:30:45.11\00:30:46.44
Or maybe he said 10
days, 10 days or two weeks,
00:30:46.47\00:30:48.24
but you'll get through it.
00:30:48.28\00:30:49.61
And during those,
00:30:49.64\00:30:50.98
during the time
when I was withdrawing
00:30:51.01\00:30:52.35
from that benzo,
00:30:52.38\00:30:53.95
I mean, I had all
kinds of suicidal thoughts.
00:30:53.98\00:30:58.65
And I just, I remember kneeling
and praying and just saying,
00:30:58.69\00:31:01.46
God, I'm right on the edge.
00:31:01.49\00:31:02.82
I'm on the edge of just
going into a psych ward.
00:31:02.86\00:31:05.06
I've never had this
happen to me before,
00:31:05.09\00:31:06.73
but my mind is just,
00:31:06.76\00:31:08.60
and I had all
kinds of The devil,
00:31:08.63\00:31:11.23
I think, was putting all
these thoughts in my head.
00:31:11.27\00:31:14.24
I'd get up in the morning
after I hadn't slept all night.
00:31:14.27\00:31:16.37
And I'd hear this
voice that says, ha-ha-ha,
00:31:16.40\00:31:18.51
you know, see you tonight,
Wohlberg, see you, I got you.
00:31:18.54\00:31:20.78
I got you, Wohlberg,
you're mine, you're mine,
00:31:20.81\00:31:23.01
all these thoughts.
00:31:23.04\00:31:24.61
And then I had
this picture of my kids
00:31:24.65\00:31:26.51
on my, in my room,
on my desk, my dresser
00:31:26.55\00:31:30.65
of Seth and Abby looking at me.
00:31:30.69\00:31:32.15
And I remember
thinking to myself,
00:31:32.19\00:31:33.52
I can't kill myself.
00:31:33.56\00:31:35.46
What am I gonna do to my kids?
00:31:35.49\00:31:37.43
What am I gonna do to my wife?
00:31:37.46\00:31:38.79
You know, they're
going to be devastated
00:31:38.83\00:31:40.36
if I take my life.
00:31:40.40\00:31:41.73
So I kept saying, no, no,
no, I'm not going to do this.
00:31:41.76\00:31:44.33
And I do want to talk
about more at some point
00:31:44.37\00:31:46.74
how it was, it
was, it was promises.
00:31:46.77\00:31:49.44
There were promises in the Bible
00:31:49.47\00:31:51.84
that I would just
cling to for my life.
00:31:51.87\00:31:54.51
You know, like the
Lord is my shepherd,
00:31:54.54\00:31:56.68
I shall not want.
00:31:56.71\00:31:58.58
He makes me lie
down in green pastures.
00:31:58.61\00:32:00.42
He leads me
beside the still waters.
00:32:00.45\00:32:02.58
He restores my soul
00:32:02.62\00:32:04.62
and I would hold
on to these promises
00:32:04.65\00:32:06.22
that God, You got to do this.
00:32:06.25\00:32:07.59
You got to help me.
00:32:07.62\00:32:08.96
You got to hold on to me,
You got to restore my soul.
00:32:08.99\00:32:10.39
You got to bring
my mind back to me
00:32:10.43\00:32:12.83
'cause I'm just going
through the worst thing
00:32:12.86\00:32:15.70
I've ever been through.
00:32:15.73\00:32:17.07
And I kept saying, I'm
not going to kill myself
00:32:17.10\00:32:18.50
because I don't
want to hurt my family.
00:32:18.53\00:32:21.24
And Lord's just gotta
bring me through this,
00:32:21.27\00:32:23.47
and praise the Lord He did.
00:32:23.51\00:32:28.34
So you went the program
00:32:28.38\00:32:29.98
and you, then you went home
00:32:30.01\00:32:33.21
and that's where
things improved, right?
00:32:33.25\00:32:35.68
It improved to a point
00:32:35.72\00:32:38.99
because I was trying to
keep up with the programs.
00:32:39.02\00:32:41.62
I was like jogging towards
one of the physician's houses
00:32:41.66\00:32:44.83
that Don McIntosh,
he's the spiritual advisor.
00:32:44.86\00:32:47.70
Yeah. You had
spiritual counseling there too.
00:32:47.73\00:32:49.40
You had a true
therapy from a counselor,
00:32:49.43\00:32:52.57
and then you had a
spiritual counselor
00:32:52.60\00:32:55.67
pointing you to
God's love and His Word
00:32:55.70\00:32:59.24
and that He loves you no matter
what you're going through,
00:32:59.27\00:33:01.41
even though you're in
the midst of all this.
00:33:01.44\00:33:03.21
And my thoughts were telling me,
00:33:03.24\00:33:04.78
you know, that the Lord
doesn't love me anymore.
00:33:04.81\00:33:06.92
I've gone too far.
00:33:06.95\00:33:08.55
I'm on the devil side.
00:33:08.58\00:33:11.02
All kinds of thoughts.
00:33:11.05\00:33:12.39
And like I said,
these Bible promises,
00:33:12.42\00:33:14.09
I just kept clinging to these.
00:33:14.12\00:33:15.46
And I kept telling myself,
00:33:15.49\00:33:16.83
I can't rely on my mind.
00:33:16.86\00:33:18.59
I can't rely on my thoughts.
00:33:18.63\00:33:20.06
I've got to rely
on these thoughts.
00:33:20.10\00:33:22.20
These are true. Right.
00:33:22.23\00:33:23.57
When Jesus says,
00:33:23.60\00:33:24.93
"Come to Me, I
will give you rest.
00:33:24.97\00:33:26.60
Take My yoke
upon you learn of me."
00:33:26.63\00:33:28.90
And God so loved the world,
He gave His only begotten Son
00:33:28.94\00:33:31.61
in Jeremiah 31, I
think it's verse 3.
00:33:31.64\00:33:35.24
Jeremiah 31, 31:3.
00:33:35.28\00:33:37.61
"I loved you with
an everlasting love."
00:33:37.65\00:33:40.75
Romans 15:13 about
00:33:40.78\00:33:42.58
"The God of hope
00:33:42.62\00:33:44.42
will fill you with all
joy and peace in believing."
00:33:44.45\00:33:47.49
There was all
these different promises.
00:33:47.52\00:33:49.02
Micah 7:8, that says,
00:33:49.06\00:33:50.86
"When I sit in darkness,
00:33:50.89\00:33:52.23
the Lord will be a light to me."
00:33:52.26\00:33:54.53
And these promises,
00:33:54.56\00:33:56.60
this is what I clung to
00:33:56.63\00:33:58.40
with a little bit
of faith that I had,
00:33:58.43\00:34:00.77
that God still loved me.
00:34:00.80\00:34:02.60
He still cared for me
00:34:02.64\00:34:04.24
and He was going
to bring me through.
00:34:04.27\00:34:05.67
Amen.
00:34:05.71\00:34:07.04
And did you go
through anything like that?
00:34:07.08\00:34:08.94
I started to get
interested in the Lord
00:34:08.98\00:34:12.95
when Priscilla, the
nurse of the program
00:34:12.98\00:34:14.85
gave me Bible studies...
00:34:14.88\00:34:16.55
During the 10 days?
00:34:16.58\00:34:17.92
It was the second
half of when I came back.
00:34:17.95\00:34:21.22
So you didn't just
go through it once?
00:34:21.26\00:34:23.22
I had some extra credit.
00:34:23.26\00:34:26.19
Had some extra credit. Yeah.
00:34:26.23\00:34:29.16
But I did go through
what you're saying though,
00:34:29.20\00:34:31.90
that, that spiritual darkness
00:34:31.93\00:34:33.34
and looking back on it now
00:34:33.37\00:34:36.54
I see it as a great
controversy experience
00:34:36.57\00:34:39.24
and a lot of
participants do come in
00:34:39.27\00:34:41.84
with that same battle
and it's a spiritual battle.
00:34:41.88\00:34:45.65
And I'm not
saying that's the answer.
00:34:45.68\00:34:48.15
I mean, there's a lot of
brain chemistry and things,
00:34:48.18\00:34:50.62
but Jesus is a solution
00:34:50.65\00:34:52.69
to any of our
problems here on this earth.
00:34:52.72\00:34:55.12
And to not accept that
00:34:55.16\00:34:56.69
is doing oneself
a great disservice
00:34:56.73\00:35:00.26
because He's the one that,
00:35:00.30\00:35:01.63
He's the only
one that rescues us
00:35:01.66\00:35:03.57
and He promises to save us.
00:35:03.60\00:35:05.50
And so that was
pivotal in my recovery
00:35:05.53\00:35:08.20
was accepting the Lord.
00:35:08.24\00:35:10.14
And was that, so
there was the first 10 days
00:35:10.17\00:35:12.81
then you went home.
00:35:12.84\00:35:14.61
When did you reaccept the Lord?
00:35:14.64\00:35:16.51
Or when did you discover that
00:35:16.54\00:35:17.88
this was really
a spiritual battle?
00:35:17.91\00:35:19.48
Because you said that in
the last time that when you,
00:35:19.51\00:35:23.52
the last program went,
that when you got to Weimar,
00:35:23.55\00:35:26.15
you were not interested in
God, you had left the Lord,
00:35:26.19\00:35:29.02
you had left the church,
you weren't praying anymore.
00:35:29.06\00:35:31.23
Right.
00:35:31.26\00:35:32.59
You had all these bad habits
00:35:32.63\00:35:33.96
and you weren't
really interested in God.
00:35:34.00\00:35:35.33
That's right.
00:35:35.36\00:35:36.70
So at what point
did you start to think,
00:35:36.73\00:35:38.47
well, I'm going to
give you another chance.
00:35:38.50\00:35:41.74
I see His hand over
the whole entire thing.
00:35:41.77\00:35:46.04
But like kind of back to
00:35:46.07\00:35:48.34
what led me back
for the extra credit.
00:35:48.38\00:35:50.15
And then that
kind of factored in.
00:35:50.18\00:35:51.51
And how long ago was that?
00:35:51.55\00:35:52.88
How far when you, when you
left and you went back to Texas,
00:35:52.91\00:35:55.58
how many, was it
days, weeks, months
00:35:55.62\00:35:57.65
until you went back to Weimar?
00:35:57.69\00:35:59.02
It was about a week.
00:35:59.05\00:36:00.39
I think it was about seven days.
00:36:00.42\00:36:01.82
And so, I was trying to do
all this stuff on my own though,
00:36:01.86\00:36:04.53
thinking, ah, you know,
I've got all this program,
00:36:04.56\00:36:06.16
algorithm, I've
got this figured out,
00:36:06.19\00:36:08.30
you know, I
could do this at home
00:36:08.33\00:36:09.83
and not realizing that I
still had more work to do.
00:36:09.86\00:36:12.30
And I believe as a
physician and I'm not.
00:36:12.33\00:36:14.30
And I was trying to go
on my own understanding
00:36:14.34\00:36:16.30
and do what Christy wanted
00:36:16.34\00:36:17.67
and not what the
professionals recommend.
00:36:17.71\00:36:19.84
I don't recommend that.
00:36:19.87\00:36:21.51
But basically I was jogging
towards the doctor's house
00:36:21.54\00:36:24.41
that Pastor Don
had tried to set me up
00:36:24.45\00:36:27.32
with because nutritionally,
00:36:27.35\00:36:28.68
they do a lot of the lifestyle,
00:36:28.72\00:36:31.25
you know, plant-based
diet and things like that.
00:36:31.29\00:36:32.92
And so...
00:36:32.95\00:36:34.29
This doctor was in Texas, right?
00:36:34.32\00:36:35.66
Yeah, and he lived in
my friend's neighborhood.
00:36:35.69\00:36:37.03
So, he set you up, doesn't mean
he was trying to connect you
00:36:37.06\00:36:38.53
to as the boyfriend?
00:36:38.56\00:36:39.89
No. No.
00:36:39.93\00:36:41.26
And he was trying to basically
have them be influence.
00:36:41.30\00:36:42.63
Connect you with
the resource. Yeah.
00:36:42.66\00:36:44.60
For you in, so from
Ken Northern California,
00:36:44.63\00:36:48.04
Pastor Don connected
you with the doctor in Texas
00:36:48.07\00:36:50.91
that you could...
00:36:50.94\00:36:52.27
Right. So then I'd
have more resource.
00:36:52.31\00:36:53.78
Yeah, more resource.
00:36:53.81\00:36:55.31
And so I was
running and I see his house
00:36:55.34\00:36:57.75
and I turned around
the other direction.
00:36:57.78\00:36:59.71
So I'm like, I
don't want to go there.
00:36:59.75\00:37:01.08
That reminds me of Weimar.
00:37:01.12\00:37:02.45
And so I go back to,
00:37:02.48\00:37:04.02
there's a water
tower that says Bethesda,
00:37:04.05\00:37:06.82
and as I'm turning
the corner, it says SDA.
00:37:06.86\00:37:10.73
I'm like, okay,
God, I can't outrun you
00:37:10.76\00:37:13.09
because wherever
You go, there You are.
00:37:13.13\00:37:14.56
This was in Texas?
And this was in Texas.
00:37:14.60\00:37:16.77
And so just
everything God was just saying,
00:37:16.80\00:37:19.53
just go back,
just go back to Weimar
00:37:19.57\00:37:21.64
that's, where you
had health and healing.
00:37:21.67\00:37:23.24
So when you said SDA,
00:37:23.27\00:37:24.61
that means
Seventh-day Adventist?
00:37:24.64\00:37:25.97
Seventh-day Adventist.
00:37:26.01\00:37:27.34
And you actually grew up
in the Seventh-day Adventist.
00:37:27.38\00:37:28.71
And Dr. Nedley's the Seventh-day
00:37:28.74\00:37:30.08
Adventist physician.
00:37:30.11\00:37:31.45
So you saw that onto,
00:37:31.48\00:37:32.81
running to the
other doctor's house
00:37:32.85\00:37:34.78
in the neighborhood.
00:37:34.82\00:37:36.25
You saw these little signs
00:37:36.28\00:37:37.75
that you thought
this is God talking to me.
00:37:37.79\00:37:39.75
Yes. I need to go back.
00:37:39.79\00:37:41.12
Okay, all right. Go back.
00:37:41.16\00:37:42.62
And so by God's grace and
Dr. Nedley being gracious,
00:37:42.66\00:37:45.43
they had me come back.
00:37:45.46\00:37:46.80
And so I got to
stay another two weeks.
00:37:46.83\00:37:49.66
In that two weeks,
00:37:49.70\00:37:51.03
the nurse gave me Bible studies.
00:37:51.07\00:37:52.43
And this is kind of
how that factored in.
00:37:52.47\00:37:53.80
Dr. Harris? This was Priscilla.
00:37:53.84\00:37:55.50
Oh, Priscilla.
00:37:55.54\00:37:56.87
Priscilla, she's
actually in Loma Linda
00:37:56.91\00:37:58.77
getting her doctorate right now,
00:37:58.81\00:38:00.34
but she was the
nurse of the program
00:38:00.38\00:38:01.71
that I went through.
00:38:01.74\00:38:03.08
And her and I,
her and I to this day
00:38:03.11\00:38:04.45
are like sisters as well,
00:38:04.48\00:38:05.81
because I do believe a brother
is born out of adversity.
00:38:05.85\00:38:08.82
This is in Proverbs.
00:38:08.85\00:38:10.19
And I claim that
00:38:10.22\00:38:11.55
'cause some of my best friends
00:38:11.59\00:38:12.92
are as a result of some
of these tumultuous times.
00:38:12.95\00:38:16.56
God even blessed that.
00:38:16.59\00:38:18.43
So you had Bible studies
the second time, part two?
00:38:18.46\00:38:20.50
Yes. Part two.
00:38:20.53\00:38:21.86
And what were the...
00:38:21.90\00:38:23.23
What were the
topics and what were,
00:38:23.26\00:38:24.70
what really
affected you the most?
00:38:24.73\00:38:27.80
The sanctuary message is
what really brought me back.
00:38:27.84\00:38:31.47
She had some pretty
in-depth Bible studies
00:38:31.51\00:38:33.81
and even just
seeing the simple outline
00:38:33.84\00:38:36.51
of how God wanted to come
as close as He could to us,
00:38:36.54\00:38:40.02
although He
couldn't co-exist with sin,
00:38:40.05\00:38:42.18
but He wanted to
be that close to us
00:38:42.22\00:38:44.09
because He loves us that much,
00:38:44.12\00:38:45.59
that He did everything
He could to be that close
00:38:45.62\00:38:48.02
and invite us into His house.
00:38:48.06\00:38:50.49
And that whole model...
00:38:50.53\00:38:51.86
In the sanctuary, the sanctuary,
00:38:51.89\00:38:53.23
being the temple
service in the Old Testament
00:38:53.26\00:38:55.76
and you, you saw
the model and you saw,
00:38:55.80\00:38:58.13
God wants me inside
that temple spiritually
00:38:58.17\00:39:01.70
so I can recover.
00:39:01.74\00:39:03.17
Right, right.
00:39:03.20\00:39:04.54
And that just the
whole model just made sense,
00:39:04.57\00:39:06.68
practical sense.
00:39:06.71\00:39:08.04
And it's, and so
that brought me back
00:39:08.08\00:39:10.05
and then I've
asked to be baptized.
00:39:10.08\00:39:12.21
And so I got baptized on
Moses rock there at Weimar,
00:39:12.25\00:39:15.25
dedicated my heart
and my life over to God.
00:39:15.28\00:39:18.45
And I've never looked back
00:39:18.49\00:39:20.49
and I praise God
for that experience.
00:39:20.52\00:39:22.72
And I mean,
there's ups and downs.
00:39:22.76\00:39:24.33
Life is not perfect.
00:39:24.36\00:39:25.69
You know, I still struggle.
00:39:25.73\00:39:27.20
But compared to where
I was compared to today,
00:39:27.23\00:39:31.07
it's a dramatic change.
00:39:31.10\00:39:32.53
And I give all glory to God
00:39:32.57\00:39:34.30
for the way that
He had His hand over
00:39:34.34\00:39:35.80
that whole entire thing,
00:39:35.84\00:39:37.57
so it's His grace.
00:39:37.61\00:39:39.64
So, I'm curious,
what, what was the point
00:39:39.67\00:39:42.38
where you realized from
when you first got there?
00:39:42.41\00:39:45.85
You said you didn't
want God or any of this
00:39:45.88\00:39:48.32
to the point
that you realized that
00:39:48.35\00:39:50.79
there, this is
a spiritual battle
00:39:50.82\00:39:52.69
that I'm going through.
00:39:52.72\00:39:54.06
This is not just
a chemical thing.
00:39:54.09\00:39:56.99
You know, the cloud I've
been under my depression,
00:39:57.03\00:39:59.26
whatever else,
the suicidal thoughts
00:39:59.29\00:40:01.40
that this is all a
battle, like you said between,
00:40:01.43\00:40:04.33
it was a great controversy
between God and Satan
00:40:04.37\00:40:06.97
and you were in this war.
00:40:07.00\00:40:09.14
You're not just dealing
with, you know, flesh and blood,
00:40:09.17\00:40:11.87
but you're in a war.
00:40:11.91\00:40:13.24
Right.
00:40:13.27\00:40:14.61
So, when did you,
was, did you realize that
00:40:14.64\00:40:15.98
when you, when you
saw SDA that you thought,
00:40:16.01\00:40:18.58
you know, God's talking to me,
00:40:18.61\00:40:20.28
or when did you realize that?
00:40:20.32\00:40:22.45
You know, I don't know
00:40:22.48\00:40:23.82
if I was ever consciously aware
00:40:23.85\00:40:25.52
during that process,
00:40:25.55\00:40:26.89
but then hearing the
backstory from the staff
00:40:26.92\00:40:31.26
and it's hard to
see outside of oneself.
00:40:31.29\00:40:34.13
And so it was difficult to
know how to articulate that,
00:40:34.16\00:40:37.87
but what they said,
00:40:37.90\00:40:39.87
that when they saw
how difficult things were
00:40:39.90\00:40:42.90
and how, you know,
00:40:42.94\00:40:45.54
these things that would help,
00:40:45.57\00:40:47.68
you know, if one is not
willing to do these things,
00:40:47.71\00:40:50.51
I mean, there's something
that's disconnected there.
00:40:50.55\00:40:52.88
So they prayed, they
pray over participants.
00:40:52.91\00:40:56.69
I mean, and just knowing
that now working in the program,
00:40:56.72\00:40:59.52
we'll get together as a staff
00:40:59.55\00:41:00.89
and have prayer over
individuals specifically,
00:41:00.92\00:41:04.23
and then seeing God's hand
00:41:04.26\00:41:05.63
and how He brings
people out of that darkness
00:41:05.66\00:41:07.73
and breaks the chains
00:41:07.76\00:41:09.10
because Satan promises,
you do, do whatever you want,
00:41:09.13\00:41:11.80
you know, do your own will.
00:41:11.83\00:41:13.27
And then he snares you
because it has a hook on it.
00:41:13.30\00:41:17.51
Anything
addictive, it has a hook,
00:41:17.54\00:41:19.17
it's going to snare you
00:41:19.21\00:41:20.54
and it's not going to lead
you to life or to a solution,
00:41:20.58\00:41:23.61
and God says,
00:41:23.65\00:41:24.98
follow these
commandments, follow Me.
00:41:25.01\00:41:26.72
And He wants us to be happy.
00:41:26.75\00:41:28.15
And there's so many
other things we can't do.
00:41:28.18\00:41:29.88
It's just 10.
00:41:29.92\00:41:31.69
And so He wants us to
follow Him out of love.
00:41:31.72\00:41:34.12
And these are boundaries
and guidelines of our life
00:41:34.16\00:41:37.39
that bring us
health and happiness
00:41:37.43\00:41:39.23
and to not do them
is Satan's trick that,
00:41:39.26\00:41:42.43
you know, something better
is going to be beyond them,
00:41:42.46\00:41:44.40
but they're not.
00:41:44.43\00:41:45.93
So it just was a
real understanding in,
00:41:45.97\00:41:48.04
you know, it's a daily walk
00:41:48.07\00:41:50.01
and
recommitting to God every day
00:41:50.04\00:41:52.37
and seeing where He leads.
00:41:52.41\00:41:54.24
So it's a struggle,
I think, as you said,
00:41:54.28\00:41:56.54
I think you had
referenced how these are,
00:41:56.58\00:41:59.21
these are not
new to a certain man
00:41:59.25\00:42:00.95
that we all
struggle with something.
00:42:00.98\00:42:02.82
And so we need
to help one another.
00:42:02.85\00:42:05.32
That's right.
00:42:05.35\00:42:06.69
So when you say it's just 10,
00:42:06.72\00:42:08.06
you're referring to
the Ten Commandments.
00:42:08.09\00:42:09.42
Ten Commandments, yeah.
00:42:09.46\00:42:10.79
Right that, yeah.
00:42:10.83\00:42:12.23
And the basic idea is that
00:42:12.26\00:42:15.03
God has given
us Ten Commandments
00:42:15.06\00:42:16.93
and following
those Ten Commandments
00:42:16.97\00:42:19.90
are what's best for us.
00:42:19.93\00:42:21.27
Right.
00:42:21.30\00:42:22.64
We function
better when we don't lie,
00:42:22.67\00:42:24.81
when we, you
know, we're faithful
00:42:24.84\00:42:28.94
morally sexually to our spouses,
00:42:28.98\00:42:31.31
or if we're not married
00:42:31.35\00:42:33.35
you know, putting God first,
00:42:33.38\00:42:34.92
not anything idols, no idols,
00:42:34.95\00:42:36.85
honoring our parents,
00:42:36.89\00:42:38.22
just those basic principles.
00:42:38.25\00:42:39.59
And ultimately God's
laws are law of love.
00:42:39.62\00:42:41.72
Love Him and love
your neighbor as yourself.
00:42:41.76\00:42:43.56
And that's kind of
like the safety zone.
00:42:43.59\00:42:45.46
And when we stay
in the safety zone
00:42:45.49\00:42:48.53
we're much less likely,
00:42:48.56\00:42:52.13
you know, to
encounter the devil,
00:42:52.17\00:42:53.50
although the
devil hits us anyway,
00:42:53.54\00:42:55.30
but we have that
strength to say no.
00:42:55.34\00:42:57.61
Right.
00:42:57.64\00:42:58.97
But, but when we step
outside of God's will,
00:42:59.01\00:43:01.94
then we're asking for trouble
00:43:01.98\00:43:04.58
and we then get exposed
00:43:04.61\00:43:06.75
to a lot more of
the enemy's attacks.
00:43:06.78\00:43:10.39
And he messes us up
00:43:10.42\00:43:12.62
and then the good
news of the gospel
00:43:12.65\00:43:14.49
is that Jesus has come
00:43:14.52\00:43:16.19
to take all those sins
where we've stepped out
00:43:16.22\00:43:19.19
and He's paid the price,
00:43:19.23\00:43:21.10
He's suffered for us
00:43:21.13\00:43:22.66
because He loves us anyway.
00:43:22.70\00:43:24.33
Right.
00:43:24.37\00:43:25.70
And then He wants
to forgive our sins,
00:43:25.73\00:43:27.07
come into our
hearts, change our lives,
00:43:27.10\00:43:28.54
and then bring us
back into the safety zone.
00:43:28.57\00:43:30.97
Right.
00:43:31.01\00:43:32.34
Right? Right.
00:43:32.37\00:43:33.71
That's the way it is.
00:43:33.74\00:43:35.08
Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:35.11\00:43:36.44
So for me, when I got to Weimar,
00:43:36.48\00:43:40.02
I mean, I didn't have to,
00:43:40.05\00:43:41.68
I didn't get there
thinking to myself.
00:43:41.72\00:43:43.49
I don't want God. I
don't want to be here.
00:43:43.52\00:43:45.85
I was craving help.
00:43:45.89\00:43:49.59
And I believe I believed in
Him and I still believe in Him,
00:43:49.62\00:43:54.03
but it was the
worst crisis of my life.
00:43:54.06\00:43:56.26
And I just, I didn't understand
00:43:56.30\00:43:57.83
why I had insomnia
and I couldn't sleep.
00:43:57.87\00:43:59.67
And then I went
on the medications
00:43:59.70\00:44:01.04
to try to help me sleep
and they made things worse.
00:44:01.07\00:44:03.94
And then I went on the Lorazepam
00:44:03.97\00:44:05.37
and then I told Dr.
Nedley about that on the phone.
00:44:05.41\00:44:07.51
And then he said, you
need to come to Weimar
00:44:07.54\00:44:09.01
and we need to
help you with this.
00:44:09.04\00:44:10.55
So when I got there, I knew
I was in a great controversy.
00:44:10.58\00:44:13.05
I mean, I knew the battle was on
00:44:13.08\00:44:14.42
between God and the devil,
00:44:14.45\00:44:15.78
between right and wrong.
00:44:15.82\00:44:17.49
And I felt it just
intensely intense, intense,
00:44:17.52\00:44:20.66
like, I mentioned
00:44:20.69\00:44:22.02
I would hear these
voices inside my head,
00:44:22.06\00:44:24.39
you know, saying, ha-ha-ha,
00:44:24.43\00:44:25.86
Wohlberg, you're
mine now, I've got you.
00:44:25.89\00:44:27.56
You're never
getting out of this.
00:44:27.60\00:44:29.36
And I kept saying, no,
no, no, I don't believe that.
00:44:29.40\00:44:32.20
I can't believe that.
00:44:32.23\00:44:33.57
And I just would
rely on the Bible,
00:44:33.60\00:44:36.47
on God's promises.
00:44:36.50\00:44:37.84
And, you know, one of the things
00:44:37.87\00:44:40.78
that somebody wrote recently
00:44:40.81\00:44:43.71
that I want to
address is the issue of,
00:44:43.75\00:44:47.88
you know, why doesn't or
why, if God is good and loving,
00:44:47.92\00:44:52.89
why does He allow His people
to go through these things?
00:44:52.92\00:44:57.09
And why doesn't He
just take them away
00:44:57.13\00:45:01.23
sometimes right away?
00:45:01.26\00:45:03.43
Yeah.
00:45:03.47\00:45:04.80
Do you have any
thoughts on that?
00:45:04.83\00:45:06.17
And also, are
there specific verses
00:45:06.20\00:45:09.50
that really meant a lot to you
00:45:09.54\00:45:11.94
as you, you know,
went through this journey?
00:45:11.97\00:45:14.88
Yeah, I do have some,
00:45:14.91\00:45:16.31
I have a couple
that I still cling to,
00:45:16.34\00:45:19.11
to this day.
00:45:19.15\00:45:21.22
But some of the thoughts,
00:45:21.25\00:45:23.32
I guess, referring
to Spirit or Prophecy,
00:45:23.35\00:45:25.19
there is something
that resonated with me.
00:45:25.22\00:45:26.92
And I believe it's
in Ministry of Healing
00:45:26.96\00:45:29.42
that it talks about
00:45:29.46\00:45:30.79
how God doesn't just put
worthless ore into the fire.
00:45:30.83\00:45:34.80
He tries His precious jewels
under the fire of affliction.
00:45:34.83\00:45:38.80
And so you...
00:45:38.83\00:45:41.34
My thought is, I
don't believe God
00:45:41.37\00:45:43.30
is the cause of
anything negative.
00:45:43.34\00:45:46.27
I believe that is a
opposing force at work,
00:45:46.31\00:45:49.58
and that would be
what I call Satan.
00:45:49.61\00:45:51.78
And so, there's
this controversy,
00:45:51.81\00:45:54.18
it's a very real battle.
00:45:54.22\00:45:55.55
We battle not
against flesh and blood,
00:45:55.58\00:45:57.32
but against principalities
and things in high places.
00:45:57.35\00:45:59.82
And by putting Ephesians 6,
00:45:59.85\00:46:02.46
armor on, we
have this protection,
00:46:02.49\00:46:05.26
but there's also things that
00:46:05.29\00:46:08.36
even like in the story of Job,
00:46:08.40\00:46:10.20
He allowed Job to go
through these things.
00:46:10.23\00:46:12.37
And He called
upon Job knowing that
00:46:12.40\00:46:15.07
he would still
choose Him in the end.
00:46:15.10\00:46:17.74
And so like,
Daniel went into the fire,
00:46:17.77\00:46:20.01
even if God did not save him,
00:46:20.04\00:46:21.94
he still would
purpose his heart to the Lord.
00:46:21.98\00:46:24.25
So there's a
real, a real battle.
00:46:24.28\00:46:27.25
But I guess in saying
that it would be more,
00:46:27.28\00:46:29.32
I'm thinking of like,
00:46:29.35\00:46:30.69
He's trying His
precious tools into the fire,
00:46:30.72\00:46:32.99
it's building our characters.
00:46:33.02\00:46:35.36
That's my thoughts were.
00:46:35.39\00:46:36.73
What are your thoughts on that?
00:46:36.76\00:46:38.09
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:46:38.13\00:46:39.46
I finally learned,
it took me a while,
00:46:39.49\00:46:42.60
like there's one verse.
00:46:42.63\00:46:44.33
There actually
is a lot of verses,
00:46:44.37\00:46:45.87
but let me share
a verse in 1 Peter,
00:46:45.90\00:46:49.04
this verse really helped me
00:46:49.07\00:46:50.77
because I went
through this for months
00:46:50.81\00:46:54.01
and I kept, you know, thinking,
00:46:54.04\00:46:55.58
Lord, why are You
allowing me to go through this?
00:46:55.61\00:46:59.35
If I am surrendered
to You, I'm trusting You.
00:46:59.38\00:47:03.99
Why is this still here?
00:47:04.02\00:47:05.92
Why am I still depressed?
00:47:05.95\00:47:08.02
Why am I still...
00:47:08.06\00:47:10.56
I don't have an
appetite. I'm losing weight.
00:47:10.59\00:47:12.99
I'm not sleeping,
like I need to be sleeping.
00:47:13.03\00:47:15.23
I'm still having thoughts
00:47:15.26\00:47:16.73
that the enemy is
harassing me to take my life.
00:47:16.77\00:47:21.84
You know, I don't understand
why this is happening.
00:47:21.87\00:47:27.14
And there, it's
been a number of verses
00:47:27.18\00:47:29.44
that really helped me,
00:47:29.48\00:47:30.81
but one of them
00:47:30.85\00:47:32.18
was 1 Peter 5:10.
00:47:32.21\00:47:37.25
It says,
00:47:37.29\00:47:38.62
"But the God of all grace
00:47:38.65\00:47:40.89
who has called us
to His eternal glory
00:47:40.92\00:47:43.79
by Christ Jesus,
00:47:43.83\00:47:45.53
after you have
suffered for a while,
00:47:45.56\00:47:50.93
He will make you perfect,
00:47:50.97\00:47:54.07
He will establish you,
00:47:54.10\00:47:55.64
He will strengthen you,
and He will settle you."
00:47:55.67\00:47:59.17
And I read that
and I thought it says
00:47:59.21\00:48:01.44
after you have
suffered for a while.
00:48:01.48\00:48:04.15
So I thought, well,
00:48:04.18\00:48:06.55
I don't know
how long a while is,
00:48:06.58\00:48:08.92
but I need to trust
Him in the midst of this,
00:48:08.95\00:48:12.09
because this is not
going to go on forever.
00:48:12.12\00:48:15.66
It's a while.
00:48:15.69\00:48:17.79
And I've
concluded that God allows us
00:48:17.83\00:48:20.50
to go through these sufferings
00:48:20.53\00:48:23.63
as you said, to
develop our characters,
00:48:23.67\00:48:25.97
to teach us,
00:48:26.00\00:48:27.44
to trust Him even in a crisis,
00:48:27.47\00:48:31.17
even when things go south,
00:48:31.21\00:48:32.91
even when things are really bad.
00:48:33.34\00:48:35.14
And I believe that
when the final crisis comes
00:48:35.18\00:48:39.68
that those who
have learned this lesson
00:48:39.71\00:48:42.35
will be able to trust God,
00:48:42.38\00:48:43.92
no matter what, no
matter what happens,
00:48:43.95\00:48:46.55
we need to be able to trust Him.
00:48:46.59\00:48:48.79
And that He
ultimately that He's good
00:48:48.82\00:48:52.16
that He cares for us.
00:48:52.19\00:48:53.83
He wants what's
best for us. Right.
00:48:53.86\00:48:55.73
He's gonna bring us through this
00:48:55.76\00:48:57.87
and we're going to learn lessons
00:48:57.90\00:48:59.93
all along the way.
00:48:59.97\00:49:01.47
And when it's all over,
00:49:01.50\00:49:04.64
we'll be glad that
we went through this.
00:49:04.67\00:49:07.01
I mean, I've been through,
00:49:07.04\00:49:08.38
I mean, to me, it
was, as you went through,
00:49:08.41\00:49:10.18
I, my struggles were just to me,
00:49:10.21\00:49:12.85
they were cataclysmic.
00:49:12.88\00:49:15.82
And, but now that the Lord
has brought me through them
00:49:15.85\00:49:17.95
and my mind has snapped back
00:49:17.99\00:49:19.55
and, you know, I can get up
00:49:19.59\00:49:20.96
and go jogging
with you this morning.
00:49:20.99\00:49:23.32
And, you know, I've got
a wonderful relationship
00:49:23.36\00:49:26.16
with my wife and my children
00:49:26.19\00:49:28.56
and I, you know,
00:49:28.60\00:49:29.93
things are going good right now.
00:49:29.96\00:49:31.63
And I look back and I just say,
00:49:31.67\00:49:34.10
you know, it
was, it was worth it.
00:49:34.14\00:49:35.60
I wouldn't trade it
00:49:35.64\00:49:36.97
because the lessons I've learned
00:49:37.01\00:49:38.44
so that the next
time, whatever comes my way,
00:49:38.47\00:49:41.28
some terrible thing or whatever,
00:49:41.31\00:49:43.14
I'll be able
hopefully by the grace of God
00:49:43.18\00:49:45.31
just to trust Him and say,
00:49:45.35\00:49:46.68
Lord, we've been
through this before,
00:49:46.72\00:49:48.65
and I don't know how
long it's going to take
00:49:48.68\00:49:50.49
for this to change,
00:49:50.52\00:49:52.32
but I'm going to
trust You anyway.
00:49:52.35\00:49:54.89
Yeah.
00:49:54.92\00:49:57.16
And so I just, I
think the bedrock issue
00:49:57.19\00:50:00.26
of whether God is good
00:50:00.30\00:50:03.16
is, is just fundamental
00:50:03.20\00:50:05.30
that He is a good God
00:50:05.33\00:50:08.00
and that He wants
what's best for us.
00:50:08.04\00:50:09.40
That's right.
00:50:09.44\00:50:10.81
And so that's, you
have that same conviction?
00:50:10.84\00:50:13.64
I feel the same.
00:50:13.68\00:50:15.64
This may sound counterintuitive
00:50:15.68\00:50:17.38
and may not make a lot of sense,
00:50:17.41\00:50:18.75
but I'm grateful
for my depression.
00:50:18.78\00:50:20.95
I would not have
been in that program.
00:50:20.98\00:50:23.69
It changed my life.
00:50:23.72\00:50:25.95
I've had promotions at
work by being transparent.
00:50:25.99\00:50:29.69
I've had actually
better life satisfaction.
00:50:29.72\00:50:34.76
I'm happy. I find
joy in little things.
00:50:34.80\00:50:37.80
You know, today
we went for that run.
00:50:37.83\00:50:40.10
I was super happy.
00:50:40.14\00:50:41.80
My serotonin
probably went up to here
00:50:41.84\00:50:43.81
just watching the sunrise,
00:50:43.84\00:50:45.17
I'm thinking, wow, God,
00:50:45.21\00:50:46.54
look at Your
blessing in abundant.
00:50:46.57\00:50:48.48
It's a snowfall
and there was some deer
00:50:48.51\00:50:51.28
that ran across the path,
00:50:51.31\00:50:53.01
and there's just
so many good things
00:50:53.05\00:50:55.42
to think about.
00:50:55.45\00:50:56.79
And I'm like, ah, just,
00:50:56.82\00:50:58.15
there's so many beautiful things
00:50:58.19\00:50:59.99
to be grateful for
and to give thanks for.
00:51:00.02\00:51:01.79
So I'm just so
grateful for that experience,
00:51:01.82\00:51:04.43
not for the suffering,
00:51:04.46\00:51:05.79
but I do believe it
led me to better things.
00:51:05.83\00:51:08.66
And so Romans 8:28 is
the promise that I think of,
00:51:08.70\00:51:11.40
that all things work
for the glory of those
00:51:11.43\00:51:13.03
who love the Lord.
00:51:13.07\00:51:14.40
Jeremiah 29:11,
00:51:14.44\00:51:15.77
"I have plans to prosper."
00:51:15.80\00:51:18.17
Plans for a hope and a future.
00:51:18.21\00:51:20.08
And that's true
for each one of us.
00:51:20.11\00:51:21.78
My case is not a special case.
00:51:21.81\00:51:24.05
God wants that
for each one of us.
00:51:24.08\00:51:26.11
And so, that's so hopeful.
00:51:26.15\00:51:28.15
And I just, I'm
so thankful for that.
00:51:28.18\00:51:31.35
So...
00:51:31.39\00:51:32.85
Yeah, Jeremiah 29:11
was a big text for me too.
00:51:32.89\00:51:35.49
'Cause it says, I
know the thoughts,
00:51:35.52\00:51:37.09
I think toward
you says the Lord,
00:51:37.13\00:51:39.66
thoughts of peace.
00:51:39.69\00:51:41.40
And when I'm
having all these thoughts
00:51:41.43\00:51:42.83
and the devil, he tries to,
00:51:42.86\00:51:44.33
I'm convinced
that a lot of it is,
00:51:44.37\00:51:46.03
is Satan and his angels.
00:51:46.07\00:51:47.90
And I know that
there's a blending between,
00:51:47.94\00:51:50.57
you know, our
thinking and his temptations.
00:51:50.61\00:51:53.21
And it's hard to
kind of, you know,
00:51:53.24\00:51:55.18
gets kind of murky
as to where one ends
00:51:55.21\00:51:57.01
and where the other begins.
00:51:57.05\00:51:58.38
But I know that the
enemy is involved in all this.
00:51:58.41\00:52:01.58
And Dr. Nedley once said,
00:52:01.62\00:52:03.55
when you add
depression to antidepressants,
00:52:03.59\00:52:06.59
you said, that's
the devil's playground.
00:52:06.62\00:52:08.09
Oh, definitely.
00:52:08.12\00:52:09.46
And honestly I remember that.
00:52:09.49\00:52:10.86
And so, you know, when
you're going through all this,
00:52:10.89\00:52:14.20
we have to realize that
there's a spiritual battle
00:52:14.23\00:52:16.56
and that God is the one
that can get us through this,
00:52:16.60\00:52:18.83
that we need, we need God,
00:52:18.87\00:52:20.24
we're fighting an
enemy and we need strength.
00:52:20.27\00:52:23.61
And a lot of times this battle
is manifested in our thoughts
00:52:23.64\00:52:26.94
where we're
thinking negative thoughts.
00:52:26.98\00:52:29.04
And so like, at
Weimar, they teach you
00:52:29.08\00:52:31.15
to counter the
negative thoughts with truth.
00:52:31.18\00:52:35.08
And the truth is
what the Word says.
00:52:35.12\00:52:37.59
So like the verse that you said,
00:52:37.62\00:52:39.05
where God says, I
know the thoughts,
00:52:39.09\00:52:40.62
I think toward you.
00:52:40.66\00:52:41.99
These are thoughts of
peace and not of evil,
00:52:42.02\00:52:44.29
to give you hope in the future.
00:52:44.33\00:52:45.83
And a lot of
times I'd be thinking
00:52:45.86\00:52:47.20
the negative thoughts.
00:52:47.23\00:52:48.56
And then I think, no these are,
these are not God's thought,
00:52:48.60\00:52:50.60
these are just my thoughts.
00:52:50.63\00:52:51.97
And so I'd rely on that verse
00:52:52.00\00:52:53.60
that says, God
says, I know the thoughts,
00:52:53.64\00:52:55.70
I think towards
you, thoughts of peace.
00:52:55.74\00:52:57.54
Is that on your booklet?
00:52:57.57\00:52:59.17
I don't remember if
that text is there or not,
00:52:59.21\00:53:01.34
but there's a lot of,
a lot of Bible verses,
00:53:01.38\00:53:03.85
a lot of stories,
a lot of struggle.
00:53:03.88\00:53:07.18
And then there's the
victory that God gives us.
00:53:07.22\00:53:10.62
So, any other promises
00:53:10.65\00:53:11.99
that are precious
to you in Jeremiah,
00:53:12.02\00:53:13.99
you said 29:11 is it
really important to you?
00:53:14.02\00:53:17.06
I claim them daily.
00:53:17.09\00:53:18.59
There's a resource online
00:53:18.63\00:53:20.33
I believe it's
revivalformission.org
00:53:20.36\00:53:23.06
that Melody Mason
00:53:23.10\00:53:24.50
is our prayer
minister at the GC,
00:53:24.53\00:53:26.97
but she has a resource
00:53:27.00\00:53:28.34
that can be printed
out for free online.
00:53:28.37\00:53:30.91
And people can cut
these out. I've done this.
00:53:30.94\00:53:33.34
And then you refer
to them in the morning
00:53:33.38\00:53:35.38
and it sets the morning.
00:53:35.41\00:53:36.75
It sets the tone
and there are promises,
00:53:36.78\00:53:38.48
they're like blank
checks for His kids.
00:53:38.51\00:53:40.52
And so we can claim these
00:53:40.55\00:53:41.88
and trust that He's
going to honor them.
00:53:41.92\00:53:43.99
So, it's, there's not another
specific one though per se,
00:53:44.02\00:53:47.39
but that's a
resource that I use.
00:53:47.42\00:53:48.86
He promises, yeah, I
have, I think I showed you this.
00:53:48.89\00:53:51.33
And I have my, my
little one of the things
00:53:51.36\00:53:54.03
when I went through Weimar.
00:53:54.06\00:53:56.16
They've recommended that
00:53:56.20\00:53:57.53
I get these little
three by five cards
00:53:57.57\00:53:59.63
and I write different thoughts
00:53:59.67\00:54:02.50
that are good thoughts
00:54:02.54\00:54:04.57
and different sayings
and different promises.
00:54:04.61\00:54:07.41
So like, I've got this one,
Luke 10:18, where Jesus said,
00:54:07.44\00:54:11.01
"I've given you power to
tread on serpents and scorpions
00:54:11.05\00:54:14.78
and over all the
power of the enemy
00:54:14.82\00:54:16.92
and nothing shall
by any means hurt you."
00:54:16.95\00:54:19.15
Amen. So I've
got that one there.
00:54:19.19\00:54:21.46
And I have other,
other little things,
00:54:21.49\00:54:23.79
like, one of them says that
00:54:23.83\00:54:25.49
don't expect instant
healing, trust in grace,
00:54:25.53\00:54:30.23
grow in grace
00:54:30.27\00:54:31.60
take one day at a time.
00:54:31.63\00:54:34.54
And so these little, I
have all kinds of little...
00:54:34.57\00:54:36.67
Those are
valuable. Little things.
00:54:36.71\00:54:39.91
Yeah.
00:54:39.94\00:54:41.68
I do trust Jesus, even
though my faith is imperfect.
00:54:41.71\00:54:45.71
Here's a quote from
Ministry of Healing,
00:54:45.75\00:54:47.12
"In every trial,
Christ will give us help."
00:54:47.15\00:54:50.29
And I just went
through these one by one.
00:54:50.32\00:54:53.69
Here's another one that says,
00:54:53.72\00:54:55.06
I don't like it
when I lose sleep,
00:54:55.09\00:54:56.66
but Jesus still loves me.
00:54:56.69\00:54:58.03
His grace is
sufficient. This too shall pass.
00:54:58.06\00:55:00.90
And He uses trials to
teach us to trust Him.
00:55:00.93\00:55:04.77
So I've got all my little...
00:55:04.80\00:55:06.20
Did they give you
little cards like this
00:55:06.23\00:55:07.57
when you went through?
00:55:07.60\00:55:08.94
They didn't do that when
I came through the program,
00:55:08.97\00:55:10.31
I kind of wished they did,
00:55:10.34\00:55:11.67
but they're doing that now.
00:55:11.71\00:55:13.04
That's standard.
00:55:13.07\00:55:14.41
That's very helpful.
00:55:14.44\00:55:16.04
Yeah.
00:55:16.08\00:55:17.41
So the bottom line is
we're kind of getting down
00:55:17.45\00:55:19.28
toward the end
here for this part two,
00:55:19.31\00:55:23.22
is that one of
the greatest resources
00:55:23.25\00:55:24.95
that we've learned
00:55:24.99\00:55:26.76
that brought us both
through is the promises of God.
00:55:26.79\00:55:30.56
It's His Word.
We're in a battle.
00:55:30.59\00:55:31.93
We're in a great controversy
between good and evil.
00:55:31.96\00:55:34.86
And God loves us,
and He wants to help us.
00:55:34.90\00:55:37.53
He wants to lead
us, lead us through.
00:55:37.57\00:55:40.34
So I'll just read, I'll
just share this text again
00:55:40.37\00:55:43.00
from 1 Peter 5:10.
00:55:43.04\00:55:45.97
It says,
00:55:46.01\00:55:47.34
"The God of all grace
00:55:47.38\00:55:50.61
who has called us
to His eternal glory
00:55:50.65\00:55:52.38
by Christ Jesus.
00:55:52.41\00:55:53.92
After you have
suffered for a while,
00:55:53.95\00:55:56.95
will himself make you perfect
00:55:56.99\00:55:59.92
and establish you
00:55:59.95\00:56:01.29
and strengthen
you and settle you."
00:56:01.32\00:56:03.29
There's another verse.
00:56:03.32\00:56:04.66
I'm sure you are familiar
with this one in John 10:10,
00:56:04.69\00:56:07.83
where Jesus is talking.
00:56:07.86\00:56:09.26
And he said,
00:56:09.30\00:56:10.63
"That the thief does not come,
00:56:10.67\00:56:12.00
but to steal and to
kill and to destroy."
00:56:12.03\00:56:14.40
The thief, being the devil.
00:56:14.44\00:56:15.87
But then he says,
00:56:15.90\00:56:17.24
"I have come that
you might have life
00:56:17.27\00:56:19.97
and that you might
have it more abundantly."
00:56:20.01\00:56:23.45
And that tells us that
00:56:23.48\00:56:24.81
the character of
Satan is to destroy us.
00:56:24.85\00:56:26.31
And the character of Jesus
00:56:26.35\00:56:27.88
is to give us
life more abundantly,
00:56:27.92\00:56:29.85
to help us to
heal us and to save us.
00:56:29.88\00:56:31.52
So we recommend Jesus Christ.
00:56:31.55\00:56:33.72
He loves you and
whatever you're going through,
00:56:33.76\00:56:36.06
He'll bring you through.
00:56:36.09\00:56:37.59
Thank you.
00:56:37.63\00:56:41.13
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