Welcome to "For Guys Only,"
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a program that deals with topics
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specifically
geared to the urban man.
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I'm Pastor William Lee.
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And I'm so thankful that
you have joined us on today.
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Today, we're going
to talk about mentoring,
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the need to
mentor our urban youth.
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Stay tuned as we go
right into our broadcast.
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Gentlemen, it is, once again,
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it's so good to
have you all today
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and to be able to discuss topics
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that affect the urban man.
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Today, we have
another very exciting topic.
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But before we
get into that topic,
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let's first just take a
moment to introduce ourselves
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to those who are
viewing us today.
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I'll start right here.
Yes, my name is Brandon Dent.
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I am a retired auto
executive, 27 years.
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I'm now running my
own marketing company.
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And I'm a lead
mentor for a program called
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Be Men here in the Detroit area,
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reaching out to black males.
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Okay. Good, good.
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My name is Colin King.
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I'm a father, a
mentor, psychologist,
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husband, a
friend, and a black male.
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All right. All right.
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Appreciate that very much.
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My name is Muta Mwenya,
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executive director for
the Elijah 3 Ministries.
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And I too, I'm a mentor,
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and work within
the urban community
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with some young men.
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All right, good.
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And now of course,
I'm Pastor William Lee,
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pastor at the Capitol City
Seventh-day Adventist church,
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Indianapolis, Indiana,
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pastor of the
Lake Region Conference,
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married seven
years, two children.
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And I mentor my two children,
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as well as some
of the young people
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within our church as well.
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So let's talk about
this concept right now
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because I mean, in reality,
we see that for the most part,
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our young black boys
are not receiving mentors.
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I mean, they're
just, they're out there,
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and they're looking
around, trying to figure out,
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you know, the best person,
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you know, to kind of steer them,
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whether it's in a
positive direction sometimes
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or in the negative direction.
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Well, look at the
Bible as we go forth
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but what do you all sense
as it relates to mentorship,
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especially as it
relates to the urban youth?
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Well, I think that, you
know, urban youth, first of all,
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have a greater need
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because of the
absence of many fathers.
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And we've talked
about that in several
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or at least couple of
our previous episodes.
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So you have a greater need
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and yet you have
less of the solution.
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So that gap is as wider for us
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as a people because
of those two things.
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Okay. Okay.
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What else do we see here?
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Because, you know, the
Bible is absolutely clear.
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The Bible says in 1 Peter 2:17,
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it says, "Honor all men.
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Honor all men.
Love the brotherhood.
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Fear God. And honor the king."
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The Bible specifically
says we have to honor all men
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and then to love the brotherhood
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and as we see in
our society today,
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once again is that we
have to make an effort
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to make an impact in the
lives of our young people.
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And what can we do?
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Brandon, you talked about that
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you are a part of a
mentor program right now
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in the Detroit area.
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Talk about a little bit about
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what's
happening in that program.
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Well, we go in,
and we take topics,
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different topics,
where we know there is a need
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for development, things
like conflict resolution,
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preparing for success.
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You know, success
doesn't just come.
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We wonder why we
don't have and they do.
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Well, you need to understand
what goes on behind the scenes.
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There's preparation is built
into their pattern of success.
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We need to learn
how to do some of that,
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how to treat a woman,
you know, a young lady,
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how to show respect
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when you come into a building...
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Just things like
take your hat off.
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A lot of
people, even older guys,
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now just kind of keep
their hats on in indoors.
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And I'm not condemning anybody,
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but I think to
teach the young men
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some of these older habits.
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It's refreshing to see
them gravitate and say,
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you know what, I do
want to be distinctive,
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I do want to attain
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a high level of
being a gentleman
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and holding doors.
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And, you know, some of the
guys will come back and say,
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"Well, a lot of
girls don't want you
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holding the door for them."
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And then we
say, "Well, you don't
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let the door go," you know?
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But there's no
harm in trying. Okay.
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But you don't have to force it
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on someone who's
not ready for it.
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But I think that...
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What I like is the
fact that these young people
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are actually responding to love.
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You can put a lot of
different topics on the table,
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once they understand
these guys care about us,
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they love us.
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And so I think the
most important thing
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right up front is
you have to be doing...
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You can't be doing it
just because, you know,
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condescending way.
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All these guys are
messed up and I'm not,
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and so let me try
to help fix them now.
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You got to look at them
as this is the brotherhood.
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And I need to be
extending love to them.
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And once they see
that, then they'll open up
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and they'll let
you minister to them
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on these other matters.
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Okay. Awesome.
Awesome. Dr. King.
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You know, Brandon
is absolutely right.
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You know, we have
strayed away from our roots.
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You know, we're
from Africa, originally.
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And we were supposed
to be raised by a village,
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by our cousins, and
our aunts, and our uncles.
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That's how we were
meant to be raised.
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But currently, we live in a
very individualistic society,
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with every man for himself.
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To the extent whereby
I can see my friend's son
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or a black youth,
getting himself in trouble.
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And I can tell myself,
"I'm not getting involved."
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You know, I'm
not getting involved
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because I don't
want anyone to blame me.
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And so because of that,
we have a lot of black youth
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who are not
properly mentored, you know?
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And as I said before,
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we've got about
62% of urban youth
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who are being
raised by a single parent.
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And if, as
professionals, we don't step in,
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then who's going to step in?
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You know, I
recall, a few months ago,
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I invited a
group of young people
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over to my house and
because I'd seen a tape
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and substance
abuse on what marijuana
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does to the human brain.
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And I really wanted to
impart that information to them
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without lecturing them.
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So I made it into type
of, sort of, a competition.
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I said, "Guys, you
have a chance to win $50.
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Come over to my house,
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I'm going to give you a quiz
but in order to know the answer
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to the quiz or the answers,
I'm going to show you a tape.
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And once you view the
tape, you answer the question.
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This is what
you're going to get."
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And I was amazed
at their enthusiasm.
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And I'm thinking
if as professionals,
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if as mentors we
can take the time
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to make the time
to do stuff like that,
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we could make a difference.
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Yeah.
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And I think that's the key
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that you just said right
there that we take the time.
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You know, we have
been blessed by God
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to be a blessing to others.
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We have to keep those
blessings to ourselves.
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And I think that we can
do some very practical things
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as it relates to taking
time out of our schedules
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to be able to help somebody else
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along the rail.
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It's as simple
as this, you know,
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especially in
churches, lot of people say,
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"What can my
church do to help mentor?
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What can we do even
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as a men's
ministry to help mentor?"
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There are some things
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so simple as teaching young boys
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how to tie a tie, you know?
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We want our boys to be
professional at some point.
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We want them to be able
to walk into an interview
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and have a nice
knot in their tie.
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But a lot of times, if
there's not been someone
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there to teach
them how to do that,
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they just won't
have any idea, you know,
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or even a bow tie
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or whatever it is that
you're wearing right now.
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Teaching our
young boys how to shave!
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You'd be surprised
that there are so many,
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you know, boys growing up that
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just don't have
anyone to tell them,
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"Hey, don't go
aggress the grain,
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go, you know, with it."
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You know, have a good
smooth shave that way.
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So Dr. King what you saying,
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you know, I think it's
very, very Echobel to our world,
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to our society today that
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we got to take
the time to do it.
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Also, we need to
get in step with them.
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You know, we need to keep up.
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You know, our kids are being
raised by Facebook and Twitter,
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and all of the
other social media.
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And I've learned
if my kids are out
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or their friends are
out, and I want to reach them,
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and I call them on the
phone, they don't answer.
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They just don't answer.
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But if I send them a
text, they respond right away.
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So we've got to learn
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how to keep up with
what has their interest.
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Yeah, that's true.
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Muta, talk a little bit about
your experience as a mentor.
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Especially, as you work
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in the urban
city with urban youth,
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what's been your
experience with mentorship?
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As Brandon said, we can't
come with this looking down on,
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"I'm here to
help you," you know,
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like you're this handout.
00:09:47.25\00:09:49.02
And there's one phrase
that kind of gets me every time
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somebody says that, they
say, "I'm working with him."
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He goes like, kid
that I'm working with,
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"What do you mean
you're working with them?"
00:10:00.40\00:10:02.66
Now as adults, as professionals,
00:10:02.70\00:10:05.03
we may
understand what he's saying.
00:10:05.07\00:10:07.00
But if that kid
ever hears you say,
00:10:07.04\00:10:09.27
"I'm working with
him," now all of a sudden,
00:10:09.30\00:10:11.97
"I'm some robot,
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I'm some broken thing
that you're trying..."
00:10:13.64\00:10:15.31
Some project, exactly,
that you're trying to fix.
00:10:15.34\00:10:19.45
Having a genuine love
for them. Christ says...
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Paul says, if you have not love,
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you know, that should be
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the foundation
of the mentorship,
00:10:30.13\00:10:32.33
the mentor,
mentoree relationship,
00:10:32.36\00:10:35.10
it should be love.
00:10:35.13\00:10:36.46
It shouldn't be out of,
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"This is what I
need to do as a man,
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so I'm just going to go do it,"
because then it's not genuine.
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So I found that
their most responsive
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when they realize that,
00:10:46.41\00:10:47.74
"Wow, this
guy's really genuine."
00:10:47.78\00:10:49.78
And although, it
gets tough sometimes,
00:10:49.81\00:10:51.68
especially dealing
with urban young people
00:10:51.71\00:10:55.72
sticking to it, even
in those tough times,
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really shows them
that you love them.
00:10:59.05\00:11:00.76
So I think that's really big.
00:11:00.79\00:11:02.32
That's good. That's good. Yeah.
00:11:02.36\00:11:03.73
You know, I just heard
a sermon that talked about
00:11:03.76\00:11:08.60
when you minister, you
have to come to realize
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that God calls you to minister,
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not so much for
what you could do
00:11:15.67\00:11:17.84
but if you minister too
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but because it ministers to you.
00:11:20.28\00:11:24.28
There is spiritual
progress that you cannot make,
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except you do that ministry.
00:11:29.55\00:11:32.49
And that's a humbling piece.
00:11:32.52\00:11:35.26
You know, when we
start to realize that
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the child is not the
project, I'm the project.
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I am the project.
Yeah, that's right.
00:11:40.60\00:11:42.03
You know, I'm the project.
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So I thought that
was a very powerful,
00:11:43.73\00:11:46.77
and it shapes the attitude that
we have when we go to minister.
00:11:46.80\00:11:50.97
That's good. That's good.
00:11:51.01\00:11:52.34
Dr. King, talk a
little bit about,
00:11:52.37\00:11:53.71
again, some of the
historical perspective
00:11:53.74\00:11:57.48
as relates to mentorship,
00:11:57.51\00:12:00.95
especially again,
in the urban community,
00:12:00.98\00:12:03.05
these black boys, you know?
00:12:03.08\00:12:05.22
And we all have sons, and
we all know the challenges
00:12:05.25\00:12:09.86
but what else can
we do especially as men
00:12:09.89\00:12:13.70
to make a
difference in their lives?
00:12:13.73\00:12:15.60
Sure.
00:12:15.63\00:12:16.97
You know, we need
to be always aware that
00:12:17.03\00:12:19.63
our values are not
taught, values are caught.
00:12:19.67\00:12:25.14
So, you know, as
we interact with them,
00:12:25.17\00:12:29.61
as we mentor,
we're not teaching them
00:12:29.64\00:12:32.31
by the things we see,
00:12:32.35\00:12:34.22
we're teaching them
by the things we do.
00:12:34.28\00:12:36.28
You know, I've got
an elder in my church.
00:12:36.32\00:12:39.79
He's a physician.
00:12:39.82\00:12:41.46
I'm saying that
because he's extremely busy.
00:12:41.49\00:12:44.73
But I've seen him take
time off from his busy schedule
00:12:44.76\00:12:48.06
to coach the
young kids in my church
00:12:48.10\00:12:50.93
to play basketball.
00:12:50.97\00:12:52.33
And my son, he's
6'3" and, you know,
00:12:52.37\00:12:55.87
I'm always saying,
"You are so uncoordinated.
00:12:55.90\00:12:58.97
Play a sport, play a sport!"
00:12:59.01\00:13:00.41
And he has never
played basketball before.
00:13:00.48\00:13:03.95
He has never played
basketball. And I was amazed.
00:13:03.98\00:13:07.45
Two weeks ago, you know,
I sat and watch him play,
00:13:07.52\00:13:10.79
all because of the mentorship
of this elder in the church.
00:13:10.82\00:13:15.26
And as a matter of fact,
00:13:15.29\00:13:16.62
Brandon was playing
the game right after.
00:13:16.66\00:13:18.13
So, yeah, so the values...
00:13:21.10\00:13:24.57
So values are not
taught, values are caught.
00:13:24.60\00:13:28.04
So I think it's
critical for us to model
00:13:28.07\00:13:31.51
what we want to see in them.
00:13:31.54\00:13:34.24
Because when you look at
the biblical way of life,
00:13:34.28\00:13:39.11
the younger man sat at
the feet of the older man.
00:13:39.15\00:13:43.18
And they were taught
certain biblical principles.
00:13:43.22\00:13:48.06
They were taught
certain financial principles,
00:13:48.09\00:13:50.93
certain social principles.
00:13:50.96\00:13:53.96
And some of these young men
00:13:54.00\00:13:56.36
didn't necessarily have a father
00:13:56.40\00:13:58.57
but an older man,
took them under their wings
00:13:58.60\00:14:01.20
and mentored them, you know,
00:14:01.24\00:14:02.74
once again, it comes
back to this whole concept of,
00:14:02.77\00:14:05.74
it takes a village, you know,
00:14:05.77\00:14:07.38
it takes a
village to raise a child.
00:14:07.41\00:14:10.35
That's good. That's good.
00:14:10.38\00:14:11.71
Is there a gap in the church,
you know, we look at it...
00:14:11.75\00:14:15.65
I appreciate what you just said,
00:14:15.68\00:14:17.12
that takes, you
know, the older men
00:14:17.19\00:14:18.55
must get with the younger men
00:14:18.59\00:14:20.66
and the younger
men, by all means,
00:14:20.69\00:14:22.42
must respect the wisdom
that comes from the older men
00:14:22.46\00:14:26.80
but is there a gap, you know,
00:14:26.83\00:14:28.70
that you all have
noticed in the church,
00:14:28.73\00:14:30.63
especially as it
relates to that concept
00:14:30.67\00:14:33.50
of the younger men
listening to the older men?
00:14:33.54\00:14:35.77
Or even the older
men wanting to be around
00:14:35.80\00:14:38.04
the younger men to
take that time, you know,
00:14:38.07\00:14:39.94
and invested in,
is there a gap at all?
00:14:39.97\00:14:41.64
And if so, and
if there is a gap,
00:14:41.68\00:14:43.71
now what can we
do to fill that gap?
00:14:43.75\00:14:45.65
Yeah, there is certainly
is a whole generational gap.
00:14:45.68\00:14:50.75
And we have lost
some of our young people
00:14:50.79\00:14:53.32
because we have failed them.
00:14:53.36\00:14:56.29
We haven't taken
the time to figure out
00:14:56.32\00:14:58.43
how to identify with them,
00:14:58.46\00:15:01.00
we haven't taken
the time to find out
00:15:01.03\00:15:02.90
what it is that is
grabbing your attention
00:15:02.93\00:15:05.90
and trying to walk in your shoes
00:15:05.93\00:15:08.07
and trying to
be there with them.
00:15:08.10\00:15:10.51
One of the things
I'm seeing, you know,
00:15:10.54\00:15:11.87
I'm always critical
about this in our church,
00:15:11.91\00:15:14.68
most of the
officers are older people.
00:15:14.71\00:15:19.21
We need to put young
people in those positions.
00:15:19.25\00:15:22.52
We need to train
them first of all.
00:15:22.55\00:15:24.79
But we need to invest in them.
00:15:24.82\00:15:27.39
And we need to see them,
00:15:27.46\00:15:29.32
not necessarily as
leaders of tomorrow
00:15:29.36\00:15:31.93
but leaders of today.
00:15:31.96\00:15:33.29
That's right. So
there is a huge gap.
00:15:33.33\00:15:35.76
And we can narrow that
gap by working with them now.
00:15:35.80\00:15:38.93
And let me just...
00:15:38.97\00:15:40.30
Let me 'cause
this is so interesting,
00:15:40.34\00:15:41.67
that it's, you know,
00:15:41.70\00:15:43.04
it's almost amazing
that we do it in the church
00:15:43.07\00:15:45.04
that way because
it's for instance, sports,
00:15:45.07\00:15:48.78
you know, men,
as we talked before,
00:15:48.81\00:15:50.55
we go all out for our boys or,
you know, our girls, you know.
00:15:50.61\00:15:55.08
If we see there's
some potential in them,
00:15:55.12\00:15:56.85
I know, I have
friends that, you know,
00:15:56.89\00:15:59.19
and I know people
that take their sons
00:15:59.22\00:16:01.69
and their children to the camps
00:16:01.72\00:16:03.46
for the entire summer, you know?
00:16:03.49\00:16:05.26
And they assign
a mentor, you know,
00:16:05.29\00:16:07.50
with them to hone their skills,
and they get that jump shot
00:16:07.56\00:16:11.17
just right, to
get that pass right.
00:16:11.20\00:16:13.13
And we invest it
on secular things.
00:16:13.17\00:16:16.14
But I think the
point was taken that
00:16:16.17\00:16:17.51
we have to make sure that
00:16:17.54\00:16:18.87
we are investing it spiritually,
00:16:18.91\00:16:20.58
that we assign, and
especially for those
00:16:20.61\00:16:23.11
who are coming
into the church as well,
00:16:23.14\00:16:25.15
spiritual mentors,
mentors that can help you
00:16:25.18\00:16:29.42
understand God in a
way that this is Echobel,
00:16:29.45\00:16:33.66
that's practical
into our everyday lives.
00:16:33.69\00:16:36.02
Absolutely. And I
think that's critical.
00:16:36.06\00:16:37.89
You know, and we
need to give them a chance
00:16:37.93\00:16:39.26
to make mistakes.
00:16:39.29\00:16:40.63
That's right. Yeah.
00:16:40.70\00:16:42.00
You know,
they're not going to see
00:16:42.03\00:16:43.37
it quite like how
we expect them to see.
00:16:43.40\00:16:44.73
That's right.
00:16:44.77\00:16:46.10
They're not going
to dress quite like us.
00:16:46.13\00:16:48.27
Their pants are
going to sag a little.
00:16:48.30\00:16:51.11
Their music is
going to be different.
00:16:51.14\00:16:53.24
You know, their language
is going to be different.
00:16:53.27\00:16:55.58
We don't want
them to behave like us.
00:16:55.61\00:16:57.41
That's right.
00:16:57.45\00:16:58.78
But we want them
to stay close to us
00:16:58.81\00:17:00.88
so that we can guide them
and show them the right way.
00:17:00.95\00:17:04.15
Right.
00:17:04.22\00:17:05.55
And one of the reasons
why they pull away, you know,
00:17:05.59\00:17:07.86
going back to this
question about the gap
00:17:07.89\00:17:09.92
is because we create it.
00:17:09.96\00:17:11.69
We say, "Hey, listen, young man.
00:17:11.73\00:17:13.63
I don't like the way you
dress. I don't like your music.
00:17:13.66\00:17:17.27
I don't like what you chitchat
in the back pew of the church
00:17:17.30\00:17:21.37
or out in the hallways."
00:17:21.40\00:17:22.74
And not that all these
things should just be accepted,
00:17:22.77\00:17:25.04
but it's the approach
that I'm talking about.
00:17:25.07\00:17:27.18
You go through all
of that, and you say,
00:17:27.21\00:17:28.81
"Okay, now let me mentor you."
00:17:28.84\00:17:31.25
It's not gonna work.
00:17:31.28\00:17:32.61
The kid is going to pull back
00:17:32.65\00:17:34.22
because you've
already put a divide between,
00:17:34.25\00:17:37.19
you broaden the gap
between you and them
00:17:37.22\00:17:39.65
and basically
make your mentoring,
00:17:39.69\00:17:42.09
ministry, pretty
ineffective in that situation.
00:17:42.12\00:17:46.16
Go ahead.
00:17:46.19\00:17:47.50
You know, what I found out
00:17:47.60\00:17:48.90
as well is that
our young people,
00:17:48.93\00:17:51.57
man, they just want to be able
to have a voice a lot of times.
00:17:51.60\00:17:54.70
They just want to be able to say
00:17:54.74\00:17:56.07
what's on their mind without,
00:17:56.10\00:17:58.54
again, being
condemned, without being,
00:17:58.57\00:18:01.08
you know, so
that, you did it wrong,
00:18:01.11\00:18:03.18
you know, you're doing it right.
00:18:03.21\00:18:04.81
They just want to be
able to have a voice.
00:18:04.85\00:18:07.05
And then on top of that,
00:18:07.08\00:18:08.42
they want to be
able to have somebody
00:18:08.45\00:18:09.78
and especially, a
man, you think about it.
00:18:09.82\00:18:12.42
We told that in previous episode
00:18:12.45\00:18:13.79
about our affirmation,
minutes to be affirmed,
00:18:13.82\00:18:16.09
you know, 'cause our ego and...
00:18:16.12\00:18:18.16
It means a lot,
00:18:18.19\00:18:19.63
you know, for a
mentor or even another man
00:18:19.66\00:18:23.57
to come up to another man
or to a young boy and say,
00:18:23.60\00:18:26.97
"You know what,
you did that well."
00:18:27.04\00:18:29.14
You know, "You just
knocked that out the frame."
00:18:29.17\00:18:32.37
And that always as
it relates to sports,
00:18:32.41\00:18:34.61
you know?
00:18:34.64\00:18:35.98
It relates to, maybe if
you're in a church setting,
00:18:36.01\00:18:37.85
you know, you're person
to the scripture reading,
00:18:37.88\00:18:39.48
and they come out the pulpit,
00:18:39.51\00:18:40.85
and you give them a high-five,
and you say, you know,
00:18:40.92\00:18:42.72
sometime, you
know, "You did that!
00:18:42.75\00:18:44.62
Great! I'm proud of you!"
00:18:44.65\00:18:47.26
And those words, just
say, "I'm proud of you,"
00:18:47.29\00:18:49.29
that goes so much
farther than anything else.
00:18:49.32\00:18:52.23
Now that boosts confidence,
it boots everything else,
00:18:52.26\00:18:54.93
if we could just
hear that more often.
00:18:54.93\00:18:57.47
I think that's
where mentorship comes in.
00:18:57.53\00:18:59.57
Because if there is
not a father in the hall
00:18:59.60\00:19:01.90
or if there's, you
know, someone that's not,
00:19:01.94\00:19:03.54
you know, boosting that person
00:19:03.57\00:19:04.91
that believes there's
somebody that's in your corner,
00:19:04.94\00:19:07.21
you know, somebody
that's gonna call your name
00:19:07.24\00:19:09.24
and say, "Okay, you
can do it, keep on going.
00:19:09.28\00:19:11.78
I know it looks bad right
now but keep on trucking away."
00:19:11.81\00:19:15.12
And I know personally
that when that happens,
00:19:15.15\00:19:17.52
I mean, you give it
your best, you know?
00:19:17.55\00:19:19.55
I ran cross
country in high school,
00:19:19.59\00:19:22.29
not across the country,
00:19:22.32\00:19:23.66
but I ran cross
country, 3.1 miles.
00:19:23.69\00:19:27.23
And my father was
there, he would come to me
00:19:27.23\00:19:29.76
so we're not going
uphill, going down,
00:19:29.80\00:19:31.87
which is kind of a
thing we do in life as well.
00:19:31.90\00:19:34.64
But what I appreciate
is that on that journey,
00:19:34.67\00:19:36.81
there are people on the journey
that were saying, all right,
00:19:36.84\00:19:39.47
"You just have one
more mile left," right,
00:19:39.51\00:19:41.41
"one more mile!"
"All right, you can do it.
00:19:41.44\00:19:43.18
You can do it!"
00:19:43.21\00:19:44.55
And then when I came
across the homestretch,
00:19:44.58\00:19:46.38
there are people,
you know, in my corner,
00:19:46.41\00:19:48.75
that were saying,
"Come on, William!
00:19:48.78\00:19:50.12
Come on, William!
Give it all you have!"
00:19:50.19\00:19:52.35
And, you know,
as tired as I felt,
00:19:52.39\00:19:54.66
you know what, I
gave it all I have.
00:19:54.69\00:19:56.29
I came into full sprint
00:19:56.32\00:19:58.13
because I wanted
to finish strong.
00:19:58.16\00:20:00.30
And as it relates to, you know,
00:20:00.33\00:20:02.80
this world that
we live in right now
00:20:02.83\00:20:04.17
we've got to
teach our young boys
00:20:04.23\00:20:06.17
how to finish
strong, not to give up,
00:20:06.20\00:20:08.37
not to throw in the towel,
00:20:08.40\00:20:09.77
in the time that
we live in right now.
00:20:09.80\00:20:12.41
And cheer him on
along the way. Yeah.
00:20:12.44\00:20:14.84
Yeah, that's what it, cheer them
00:20:14.88\00:20:16.24
on every step of the way.
00:20:16.28\00:20:17.88
Talk a little bit more about
some of the innovative ways
00:20:17.91\00:20:21.52
because we don't
want to do things,
00:20:21.55\00:20:22.98
we won't be
caught in doing things
00:20:23.02\00:20:24.69
like our grandfathers did it
00:20:24.72\00:20:27.32
or, you know,
other people did it,
00:20:27.36\00:20:28.82
our elders did it.
00:20:28.86\00:20:30.39
What kind of innovative ways
00:20:30.43\00:20:31.93
can we do as
well to be effective
00:20:31.96\00:20:35.36
as it relates to mentorship
00:20:35.40\00:20:37.10
and reaching our urban youth?
00:20:37.13\00:20:39.40
You know, young people
like to be independent.
00:20:39.43\00:20:41.90
They love to drive.
00:20:41.94\00:20:43.67
And so what I have done,
I have assisted in teaching
00:20:43.74\00:20:47.54
some of the young people
in my church, how to drive.
00:20:47.58\00:20:49.51
Okay.
00:20:49.54\00:20:51.15
You know, took
them out in my car,
00:20:51.18\00:20:53.28
bought the cones,
spend the time, you know,
00:20:53.35\00:20:57.12
not overtly mentoring
them but just befriending them.
00:20:57.15\00:21:02.09
And it's amazing how
much they appreciate that.
00:21:02.12\00:21:05.49
As a matter of fact,
one of the young person
00:21:05.53\00:21:07.66
when she passed
her driving test,
00:21:07.66\00:21:09.66
she sent me a text.
00:21:09.70\00:21:11.30
She said, "Thank you so
much. I passed my exam."
00:21:11.33\00:21:13.90
That's all
right. That's felt good.
00:21:13.94\00:21:15.34
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:15.37\00:21:16.71
And again, it goes
back to you investing time.
00:21:16.77\00:21:18.81
Absolutely. That's one thing.
00:21:18.84\00:21:20.18
What else can we do?
00:21:20.24\00:21:21.58
Let's kind of grew up the ideas
00:21:21.61\00:21:22.94
because somebody is
listening to us right now,
00:21:22.98\00:21:24.31
and they wanted to know,
"Okay, that was good example,"
00:21:24.35\00:21:26.31
you know, driving
00:21:26.35\00:21:27.68
and that's gonna
make a difference
00:21:27.72\00:21:29.05
in a young person's life.
00:21:29.08\00:21:30.45
What else, you
know, have you all done?
00:21:30.49\00:21:31.92
Or what else can we do
to really make a difference
00:21:31.95\00:21:35.39
in this generation
that we live in right now?
00:21:35.42\00:21:37.29
And that's a good
example. What else do you think?
00:21:37.33\00:21:39.63
Well, I help kids
00:21:39.66\00:21:42.50
with their homework once a week,
00:21:42.53\00:21:45.57
my daughter and
some of her friends
00:21:45.60\00:21:47.77
get together at my house.
00:21:47.80\00:21:51.34
I'm really into the math
thing 'cause I'm always...
00:21:51.37\00:21:54.14
I'm always
hoping they have math.
00:21:54.21\00:21:57.18
But if they got social studies,
00:21:57.21\00:21:58.78
I'll plug in and
help just the same.
00:21:58.81\00:22:01.35
And that has helped me to
develop some relationships
00:22:01.38\00:22:05.55
with some her peers.
00:22:05.59\00:22:08.26
So that when I need
to maybe approach them
00:22:08.29\00:22:11.76
on a more sensitive subject,
00:22:11.79\00:22:15.46
they're now open
because they know
00:22:15.50\00:22:17.47
this man cares for us
00:22:17.53\00:22:18.97
because he takes
time, we feed them,
00:22:19.00\00:22:21.40
my wife gets in the kitchen,
00:22:21.44\00:22:22.77
and she cooks
food and feed them.
00:22:22.80\00:22:24.71
And they just love coming
over and having that time,
00:22:24.74\00:22:27.28
and it opened them up.
00:22:27.34\00:22:29.38
So again, I think the key is us
00:22:29.41\00:22:33.11
being putting into them
first, out of a sense of love.
00:22:33.15\00:22:38.42
And then it opens them up,
00:22:38.45\00:22:40.02
so that when there
is a need for duty,
00:22:40.06\00:22:42.66
they're open to
hear it from you.
00:22:42.69\00:22:44.86
You know, also I've
taken some of my clients
00:22:44.89\00:22:48.30
to my daughter's classroom.
00:22:48.33\00:22:50.50
And I've had them
share their experiences
00:22:50.53\00:22:54.54
in terms of
battling substance abuse
00:22:54.57\00:22:58.21
and dealing with peer pressure.
00:22:58.24\00:23:00.71
And I can't tell you
how proud my daughter
00:23:00.78\00:23:03.01
was of me coming
into her classroom
00:23:03.04\00:23:05.41
because here was her dad
doing something positive.
00:23:05.45\00:23:09.28
So I think that's a great way
00:23:09.32\00:23:11.52
of providing
mentorship to our kids.
00:23:11.55\00:23:14.42
That's good. That's good.
00:23:14.46\00:23:16.02
Another way that I've
done is just flat out,
00:23:16.06\00:23:19.86
hanging out with them.
00:23:19.89\00:23:21.20
Okay. I just go where they go.
00:23:21.23\00:23:23.13
Hang out. Whoa, there's bounds.
00:23:23.16\00:23:25.93
There was one opportunity,
maybe we talk about it later
00:23:25.97\00:23:29.90
where I kind of let things go.
00:23:29.97\00:23:31.41
I want it to be
that fly on the wall.
00:23:31.44\00:23:32.84
And it really
opened my eyes out.
00:23:32.87\00:23:35.04
But that's not
for the faint hearted.
00:23:35.08\00:23:36.41
I'll tell you that.
00:23:36.44\00:23:37.95
But literally just
getting in their world,
00:23:37.98\00:23:40.32
I've heard the saying it
say, doing life with them
00:23:40.38\00:23:43.12
and just hanging
out with their friends,
00:23:43.15\00:23:44.99
getting to know them,
allowing them to be comfortable
00:23:45.02\00:23:48.19
because when
they get comfortable
00:23:48.22\00:23:50.29
with you to that
point where they can bring
00:23:50.33\00:23:52.06
you around their friends,
00:23:52.09\00:23:53.46
now you get to
see their worldview,
00:23:53.50\00:23:55.70
that you get to see
what shapes their thoughts,
00:23:55.73\00:23:59.03
what shapes their minds,
and what influences them.
00:23:59.07\00:24:02.10
And then on the flip side,
00:24:02.14\00:24:04.54
not only hanging
out with them there,
00:24:04.57\00:24:06.17
but letting them hang out
with you and your friends.
00:24:06.21\00:24:08.88
A lot of times
when we're working with,
00:24:08.91\00:24:10.58
especially urban youth,
00:24:10.65\00:24:11.98
we're kind of afraid
to bring them into our own
00:24:12.01\00:24:15.02
and then they go
missing, you know?
00:24:15.05\00:24:16.38
I don't want to, you know...
00:24:16.42\00:24:17.75
Sure. Sure.
00:24:17.79\00:24:19.12
But bringing them
in and including them
00:24:19.15\00:24:21.39
in some of the
activities with your friends
00:24:21.42\00:24:22.76
and letting them experience
00:24:22.79\00:24:24.26
what it is like to be
a grown man, you know?
00:24:24.33\00:24:27.10
Okay. Okay.
That's good. That's good.
00:24:27.13\00:24:29.23
You know, I strongly
believe my whole heart
00:24:29.26\00:24:31.57
that every Joshua needs a Moses.
00:24:31.60\00:24:35.04
Every Joshua needs a Moses.
00:24:35.07\00:24:37.27
And I say that to
say that, you know,
00:24:37.31\00:24:40.54
even as a young
preacher, you know,
00:24:40.58\00:24:43.01
by no means do I know at
all, and I have to be able to,
00:24:43.04\00:24:46.08
you know, call on some
people with experience.
00:24:46.11\00:24:49.58
And I think, God, that
I have people in my life
00:24:49.62\00:24:51.35
that I'm able to
call, you know, in to, say,
00:24:51.39\00:24:53.72
you know, what do you
think about such and such,
00:24:53.76\00:24:55.99
and a lot of times,
I say, "You know what,
00:24:56.02\00:24:58.33
you're killing
yourself," you know?
00:24:58.36\00:24:59.96
Don't do it that way.
00:25:00.06\00:25:01.36
We think, you know,
what's happening right now.
00:25:01.40\00:25:03.67
And I had to say, you
know, in the last three minutes
00:25:03.70\00:25:06.07
or so we have left is
that what has your experience
00:25:06.10\00:25:10.71
been with a mentor,
00:25:10.74\00:25:12.07
your own personal experience?
00:25:12.11\00:25:13.98
Have you had
somebody in your corner
00:25:14.01\00:25:16.24
that cheered you on?
00:25:16.28\00:25:17.85
Because Brandon
as a business exec,
00:25:17.88\00:25:20.95
you know, retired,
your own company now,
00:25:20.98\00:25:22.92
you're very successful.
00:25:22.95\00:25:24.59
And we praise God for that.
00:25:24.62\00:25:25.95
And Dr. King,
clinical psychologist,
00:25:25.99\00:25:28.19
several degrees as
well, in your own way,
00:25:28.22\00:25:30.96
you are extremely
successful as well.
00:25:30.99\00:25:33.23
And Muta, your same
thing with Elijah 3 Ministries,
00:25:33.26\00:25:36.40
executive director,
and steering young people,
00:25:36.43\00:25:38.63
God has blessed you,
00:25:38.67\00:25:40.00
and I know God's
blessed me as well.
00:25:40.04\00:25:41.40
Have there been people
in your corner that said,
00:25:41.44\00:25:44.71
"You can do it,"
00:25:44.74\00:25:46.07
what's the experience been like?
00:25:46.11\00:25:48.11
You know, I can look
back to an elder in my church,
00:25:48.14\00:25:52.01
maybe he was about,
00:25:52.05\00:25:53.38
maybe six or
seven years my senior.
00:25:53.42\00:25:56.65
And I've never forgotten
his words of encouragement.
00:25:56.69\00:26:01.06
He has never criticized me.
00:26:01.09\00:26:04.06
And even when I
didn't quite do it
00:26:04.09\00:26:06.03
the way he expected,
00:26:06.06\00:26:08.03
he always
approached you with humor.
00:26:08.06\00:26:10.77
That go, "Hmm,
that wasn't so good
00:26:10.80\00:26:12.63
so how are you gonna better
that the next time around?"
00:26:12.67\00:26:14.47
Okay.
00:26:14.50\00:26:15.84
And, you know, he has
been pivotal in allowing me
00:26:15.87\00:26:19.84
to remain in the church
and allowing me to be focused.
00:26:19.87\00:26:23.48
And you know,
00:26:23.55\00:26:24.88
just because of his
words of encouragement,
00:26:24.91\00:26:27.02
as opposed to discouragement.
00:26:27.05\00:26:28.88
Okay, that's good.
00:26:28.92\00:26:30.59
I've never had anybody
go officially on record
00:26:30.62\00:26:33.99
as my mentor.
00:26:34.06\00:26:35.76
But what when I
look back over my life,
00:26:35.79\00:26:38.56
I see people who
naturally made it
00:26:38.59\00:26:41.03
their business to put
some guidance in my life
00:26:41.06\00:26:45.10
at strategic points
in time, sometimes for,
00:26:45.13\00:26:47.90
periods of time and then out.
00:26:47.94\00:26:50.57
But they were there.
00:26:50.61\00:26:52.57
And in every phase, in
work, in education, you name it.
00:26:52.61\00:26:57.25
I can identify people
who serve that role for me.
00:26:57.31\00:27:00.45
Okay. Okay.
00:27:00.48\00:27:01.82
What you say? I was definitely.
00:27:01.85\00:27:03.18
Am I allowed to
mention names? Yeah, sure.
00:27:03.22\00:27:05.59
'Cause I will. Yeah.
00:27:05.62\00:27:07.09
Three men who've been
very significant in my life
00:27:07.12\00:27:09.32
is Jason North,
Pastor Jason North,
00:27:09.36\00:27:11.29
Huntsville Lake
Region Conference,
00:27:11.33\00:27:12.76
Darnell Allen, and Earl Abrams.
00:27:12.79\00:27:16.26
These men have
been real influential
00:27:16.30\00:27:20.44
into bringing me to
where I am sitting right here
00:27:20.47\00:27:23.24
by the grace of God
00:27:23.27\00:27:24.61
working through
these three gentlemen.
00:27:24.64\00:27:27.61
So they've just been amazing.
00:27:27.64\00:27:30.15
Until this day,
00:27:30.18\00:27:31.51
they still are
men who I look up to.
00:27:31.55\00:27:32.88
And they're only what,
nine years older than me?
00:27:32.91\00:27:35.22
Okay. Okay.
00:27:35.25\00:27:36.89
You know, my
friends, it's interesting that
00:27:36.92\00:27:39.92
as we sit here,
00:27:39.95\00:27:41.29
and we recognize
that every perfect gift
00:27:41.32\00:27:43.09
and every gift has
come again from God.
00:27:43.12\00:27:45.73
We don't think ourselves to
be higher than anybody else.
00:27:45.76\00:27:48.10
But we do recognize
that we are blessed.
00:27:48.13\00:27:51.00
No matter what,
where you are alive,
00:27:51.03\00:27:52.93
you are blessed
to be a blessing.
00:27:52.97\00:27:56.27
I want to
challenge you to look around,
00:27:56.30\00:27:57.94
even in your own household
00:27:57.97\00:27:59.31
or on the outside
of your household,
00:27:59.34\00:28:01.01
and see who can you
make a difference with,
00:28:01.04\00:28:03.98
and the time that
God has given you.
00:28:04.01\00:28:06.01
Until next time,
I'm Pastor William Lee.
00:28:06.05\00:28:07.75
And we thank you
so much for joining us
00:28:07.78\00:28:10.62
in today's discussion.
00:28:10.65\00:28:11.99
Until next time,
may God bless you
00:28:12.02\00:28:13.49
and keep you in
His loving grace.
00:28:13.52\00:28:14.86