With each new day families
are failing, homes are broken.
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Marriages are
threatened, fathers are absent.
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Children are
rebellious but all is not lost.
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Homes can be healed
and hearts can be mended.
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Let's reclaim our
Families 4 Heaven.
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Thank you for
watching Families For Heaven.
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I'm Alanzo Smith and
my Co-host is June Smith.
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We have been talking
about When Tragedy Strikes.
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The Morning After.
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This is our second part
interview that we are doing
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with Carter
Francis and Booty Francis.
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Welcome again, please help me
to welcome them one more time.
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If you recall, in part one,
Carter related to us a tragic
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mishap that took place with his
wife one Sunday morning in May.
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And how after that crash she was
in a coma for six long weeks.
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How many bones did
you say were broken?
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Carter: She had
broken bone in her arm.
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She had a fractured hip, she had
a broken left leg, both knees
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and both ankles were broken.
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and blood
flowing from her brain.
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She was bleeding from her brain.
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If you recall, he told
us all that he went through
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as she was recovering.
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That's a crises, defined
it a as Situational Crises.
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When we have our crises,
the question is, what do we do
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with them?
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We want to talk in our second
part on the notion of managing
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your crises,
managing your crises.
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Dr. June, how does
one manage a crises?
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Dr. June: the reality is
that not everybody's crises
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will be the same.
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So first you have to
determine what are your needs
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right then?
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As you and your family assess
your needs, then you must accept
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the facts, you must be able
to a sort what the needs of each
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individual, or each
unit in that family is.
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Then you have got to
stay calm and stay in control.
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You shouldn't panic, although
that is the natural response
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for most people.
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Because there is help, because
it is a crises you may not see
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the immediate
solution or even resolution.
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But there is help and
there are people that can help.
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So you must remain calm and
stay in a problem-solving mode.
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Now if the outcome is
devastating, should you allow
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yourself time to grieve,
or is it wrong to grieve?
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The last segment we
talked about loss and death.
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We talked about some of
the stages people go through.
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And no there is no set time,
but when you are going through
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a crises that may result in
a loss, whether it is a loss of
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freedom, a loss of
capacity, etc, you are going to
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experience emotional pain.
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So one needs to have
or allow time to grieve.
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So yes you must acknowledge
that this is a reality and give
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yourself time to go through,
as you gather support and
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get help from others.
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And especially if this crises
it's a life-changing crises.
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Now you have to
adjust to those changes.
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So you had your wife,
you married her when she was
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how old, if you don't
mind sharing that with us?
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Booty: very young.
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She was very
young, just a college kid.
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You married her out of College.
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Alanzo: You have enjoyed a
life with her and now comes this
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crises, this tragedy.
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Alanzo: Did it change your
life or were you able to go back
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to normal living?
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no it has changed
our life for ever.
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We were, one of the things
we love, our hobby is to travel.
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Booty and I would just come in
on a Thursday evening and just
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say we want to go
some place for the weekend.
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Then by Friday when we
got off work we were gone.
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Sometimes to Florida, sometimes
we will come back to New York.
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Sometimes we would
go all over the place.
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But that has changed completely.
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Completely, completely, if we
are to go anyplace now we have
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to plan and think twice.
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Alanzo: Why is this so?
You are not telling me why?
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What has happened to Booty? Why?
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Carter: She is handicapped
now. She walks with a walker.
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Even if she has to have a
bath and then she has to have
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a special facility for bathing.
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She cannot climb stairs
and all those kinds of things.
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So all of those things we
have to take into consideration
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before we can visit a friend,
before we can go anyplace.
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You know those type of things.
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That has changed
our life a whole lot.
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Dr. June: As much as you have
described changes physically,
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you said her brain was
bleeding, there was fluid.
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The assumption one could
make was that she probably had
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left with some brain damage.
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Was that the case?
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No, she has regained
about 98% of her memory. Amen!
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And I must say that one of
the things they told me at the
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hospital after she came
out of the coma, is they were
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not expecting her to
come out of the coma.
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If she did she would
have been a vegetable for the
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rest of her life.
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So God has miraculously...
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Booty, we're talking about
you, and you are sitting there.
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You are the one
whose life as been changed.
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Could you talk to us, how
life became different for you
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after your consciousness,
living your new life now?
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What has changed for you?
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It has changed in that
I am not as independent
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as I used to be.
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If I am going anywhere, or
planning anything, Carter has
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to be there to go with me,
or another friend or family.
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So I have to think about
what I am going to do before I
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attempt to do it.
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I plan my days so that I am not
bored, because I miss my job.
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I accept that Booty, this is
where you are, start from here
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and then you will make it.
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Plus I've gone a
lot of counseling.
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Dr. June: Can you tell us, you
are professional, you had a very
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active job in the University
there where you lived.
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Your life suddenly changed
as you describe this experience.
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What adjustment did you
make in accepting that reality?
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First my supervisor, he was
very close to me and my family.
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In my rehabilitation process,
let me go back, allow me,
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because he wanted me to use
my wheelchair before to come
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to work, but I told him
that would be too easy for me.
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But he insisted that while I'm
doing rehab I could come in the
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day and see if I
could do something at work.
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So I went there about six
weeks, three days per week.
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I started to do
what I used to do.
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But then I realized, Booty
you are not able to manage it.
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So Carter had to drop me, if
I want to go to the job here,
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it has to be with me.
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Is I have to leave, I have to
call in anything that happens.
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So I came to myself and
I said Booty, you cannot do
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what you use to do.
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Physically, what can
you do now? You are at home.
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Do you have to sit and someone
get you a glass of water?
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What can you do for
yourself? Talk to us a little.
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Many things, I can't cook, well
I can cook but I cannot put on
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the pot on the fire or whatever.
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Like I used to do. So what I do
we got a computer and I started
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working on the computer.
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I used to collect Poems,
so I started, somebody told me
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what you can do is to
put up a booklet together.
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Alanzo: Did you do that?
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Yes, I was able to do that.
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Alanzo: is that this one here?
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Alanzo: that's beautiful, it's
entitled Collection Of Poems
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And Thoughts by Booty Francis.
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That is powerful,
that is wonderful.
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Dr. June: How would you
describe your typical day?
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It's like, after I have my
breakfast, first of all they had
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to teach me to do everything.
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To make up the bed
or whatever I had to do.
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So what I do, I can wash our
clothes, sometimes I can iron.
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Then I use the computer a lot.
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I do a lot of
work on the computer.
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Alanzo: Very powerful.
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We must take a break now,
we want you to stay tuned.
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to continue to talk
with these lovely people.
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Thank you!
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