Participants: John Lomacang (Host), Dr. Timothy Nixon
Series Code: FDOF
Program Code: FDOF000003
|
00:16 Hello, friends, and welcome to the 3ABN Worship Center
00:19 on this beautiful Sabbath morning. 00:21 We are all gathered here to worship the Lord. 00:23 And those of us here in Thompsonville, Illinois 00:26 would like to welcome you with a hearty amen. 00:28 Can we say amen, church? 00:30 We have been blessed, tremendously blessed, 00:33 over the last two meetings. 00:34 Dr. Timothy Nixon, good friend of mine from childhood. 00:38 One of the sermons he preached to begin the series 00:40 was entitled, Boys To Men. 00:43 We knew each other from the time we were boys. 00:46 And God has allowed both of us to grow up to be men. 00:49 Men of the Word, men of the living God. 00:52 And last night we were blessed with another sermon. 00:55 The title was a little misleading. 00:56 And so if you hear that, you could give a different spin 00:59 on that in your own mind. 01:00 But it was, Junk In The Trunk. 01:03 Wasn't that a wonderful message last night? 01:05 You know, some of us have so much junk in our past 01:07 that we have not been making room for the Lord 01:10 to fill our lives in the present. 01:12 And that was a powerful message. 01:14 I would say that's a message that I know 01:17 will be a blessing to you. 01:18 And we encourage you to contact Dare To Dream 01:21 to further that mission and that ministry 01:25 of word in someone's life. 01:27 But today, I'm so glad to be able to introduce 01:30 Dr. Timothy Nixon. 01:33 He is a native of New York City. 01:35 Born and raised in New York. 01:38 Attended Oakwood College, graduated with his B.A. degree. 01:42 Went to Andrews University where he received his MDiv. 01:45 And now he has his doctorate degree. 01:47 And he began his pastoral ministry in 1981. 01:50 And I tell you, he use to be the chaplain, part of the 01:54 chaplaincy program of Andrews University. 01:57 But today he presently serves as associate chaplain 02:01 for Andrews University. 02:03 If you up go to Andrews University, quite a strong 02:06 Adventist institution. 02:08 Longevity is a part of that institution, and he's there. 02:12 He was involved in youth ministry leadership, 02:14 public evangelism, homiletics, that's what he taught, 02:17 and preaching for the university's 02:18 theological department. 02:20 And if you've been here for the last two meetings, 02:21 you know that he knows how to impart the Word. 02:23 Amen to that? 02:25 And today we're glad that his wife is here, 02:27 Sandria, former Lalasingh. 02:29 What a name with a song behind it. 02:32 But today his message is a powerful one. 02:35 He's talking about relationships. 02:37 How to grow in Christ. 02:38 And today's message is about marriage. 02:41 It's about what? 02:42 Marriage. 02:43 Not just the actual marriage, but what it means 02:46 to have a relationship, and a growing one with Christ. 02:49 Before we introduce our music for today, 02:52 we have been blessed tremendously. 02:53 Last night we had two songs. 02:56 Wonderful songs. 02:57 And Brian Ezra Bates is a man who knows how to become a 03:01 vessel of honor to communicate what God has called upon him 03:05 to share with us today. 03:07 Before he comes out, let's bow our heads as we invite 03:10 the presence of the Lord to be with us this Sabbath morning. 03:13 Our gracious Father in heaven, what a blessing it is 03:15 to know that You are here with us, 03:17 to know that You'll sing and speak through us. 03:21 We pray now that we can prepare our hearts for 03:23 the receiving of the Word. 03:25 That we will hear what the Spirit has to say to the church. 03:28 So, Lord, come now and mold us and give us willing hearts, 03:32 that when we leave this place, we will not leave Thy presence. 03:36 This we pray in Jesus' name, amen. 03:40 Well the next voice you will hear after that of 03:43 our minister of music, Brian Ezra Bates, 03:46 will be that of Dr. Timothy Nixon. 03:54 God is able, 03:59 God is able, 04:08 God is able, 04:13 and He won't fail. 04:19 God is able, 04:27 God is able, 04:32 God is able, 04:37 and He won't fail. 04:44 Tell me, who can make a mountain 04:50 move out of my way? 04:55 And who can make a miracle 04:58 because of my faith? 05:03 And when the doctor says no, who can still say yes? 05:10 And when I'm in trouble, 05:14 who's right there to help me pass every test? 05:19 God is able, 05:24 God is able, 05:29 God is able, 05:33 and He won't fail. 05:38 Tell me, who can make a river 05:42 out of a little stream? 05:46 And who can tell the clouds to roll back 05:50 so that the sun can look at me? 05:55 And who can tell the wind to whistle through the trees? 06:01 And when I'm in trouble, who's that same God 06:06 who will come down and rescue me? 06:11 God is able, 06:16 God is able, 06:21 God is able, 06:24 and He won't fail. 06:28 No, He won't fail. 06:35 He won't fail. 06:42 Don't you dare give up, 06:45 don't give in. 06:47 God won't fail. 06:53 God is able, 06:56 God is able, 07:00 God is able, 07:04 and He won't, 07:07 no God won't, 07:17 He won't fail. 07:19 No God won't, 07:29 He won't fail. 07:33 He'll never leave, 07:37 nor will He forsake you. 07:41 He won't fail. 07:44 And He'll be there until the end. 07:52 He won't fail. 07:54 I believe He won't fail. 08:13 Let's give Brian a hearty amen. 08:17 Good morning, everyone. 08:19 Happy Sabbath. 08:21 It's good to see you all today. 08:23 We've had a wonderful time thus far talking about relationships. 08:27 And today we want to talk about marriage 08:30 from the subject, Grounds For Marriage. 08:34 If you have your Bibles, turn with me to the gospel of 08:36 Matthew chapter 19. 08:40 And I will read in your hearing verses 9, 08:45 I should say verses 10 and 11. 08:49 I'm reading from Today's NIV. 08:53 Matthew 19 verses 10 and 11. 09:22 Let's pray together. 09:24 Father, now we ask that You will speak to us. 09:31 We want no one to stand in Your way. 09:35 Not even the preacher. 09:38 So take full control. 09:41 For we ask it in Jesus' name, amen. 09:47 A couple of years ago, I came across an article in the 09:51 New York Daily News, January 2012, titled, 09:57 Ladies Want Tim Tebow In A Biblical Sense. 10:04 This article went on to say that the infidelity website, 10:10 ashleymadison.com found that women lusted 10:16 for the virginal Tim Tebow, who was then a New York Jet. 10:22 Infidelity matchmaking site... 10:25 Isn't that an oxymoron. 10:28 ...Ashley Madison, asked over 13,000 women 10:32 which athlete would make them stray from their husbands. 10:37 And one in five listed Tim Tebow as their favorite choice. 10:45 It all highlights where we are today when it comes to the 10:51 institution of marriage. 10:54 And perhaps we should not be surprised 10:58 that any and everything today passes for marriage. 11:01 We know the statistics that 46% of marriages 11:05 end in divorce, about one in two. 11:07 And those statistics are unchanged in the church. 11:12 In 2008, when they evaluated adults who have ever been 11:18 married, 32% of born again Christians have been divorced 11:23 compared to 33% of people who were not born again. 11:28 And by the way, Catholic divorces 11:29 are less than Protestant. 11:32 One of the most awkward embarrassing experiences I have 11:35 ever had was returning to my alma mater, Oakwood University, 11:40 a Christian university, on alumni weekend, and wondering 11:43 when I see an old friend or acquaintance of mine 11:48 who is married, their spouse not being with them, 11:53 and not knowing exactly what to say to them 11:57 about their spouse, 11:59 not knowing how to approach them. 12:02 The conversation gets quiet, and then finally they will tell me 12:06 they're no longer married. 12:11 And I recently had conversations even with some of my former 12:14 students who were married, and I thought it was safe 12:17 to ask them about their spouses and how married life 12:20 is with them, only to be shocked and hear them in an almost 12:24 matter of fact manner as they say that they 12:28 are no longer married. 12:31 More and more people today are getting married 12:35 with the mindset that, "If it doesn't work out, 12:40 I'll just get a divorce." 12:44 And divorce has become more prominent and common 12:47 and acceptable in the marital experience 12:52 than sustained marriages. 12:54 We spend money and more time and energy creating 12:59 and devising ways to end marriages than we do 13:03 to preserve them. 13:06 Prenuptial agreements have become a standard inclusion 13:10 in the marital preparation process. 13:13 And more time is taken planning how the marriage will be 13:17 dissolved before it even begins. 13:21 And more energy and emphasis is suspended in creating 13:25 new and easier ways to dissolve relationships 13:29 and make them as risk free as possible 13:33 so that our lives will not become too entangled 13:36 and complicated if and when we end the marriage. 13:43 Do you realize that America has the highest divorce rates 13:48 in the world? 13:49 Christian civilized America; double the rate of Canada, 13:53 Finland, Austria, Germany, and Sweden. 13:56 Triple the rate of England and France. 13:58 Five times the rate of Italy, Belgium, and Spain. 14:01 America the beautiful. 14:04 And the reason is because in most of these countries 14:09 there is a cooling off period of three to five years 14:13 before a divorce. 14:15 And during that cooling off period, people reconcile. 14:18 But not in America. 14:22 We believe in quick divorces. 14:25 No fault divorces. Huh? 14:29 And I am concerned with how little time and thought 14:32 goes into the decision people today make for marriage. 14:37 And one of the reasons they enter into it so haphazardly 14:40 is because we see divorce as an easy accessible escape route 14:46 that everyone understands and accepts. 14:51 We are more versed in the grounds for divorce 14:55 than we are in the grounds for marriage. 15:02 Our focus this weekend has been on relationships. 15:05 And our first two messages looked at men in relationships 15:09 and women in relationships. 15:11 And so today we want to bring them together 15:14 in this subject, Grounds For Marriage. 15:19 Divorce was definitely the rule and not the exception 15:25 in Christ's day. 15:28 And I want to use a somewhat familiar passage 15:31 from the gospels to discover where Jesus is 15:35 on this issue of marriage and divorce. 15:38 In Matthew chapter 19 beginning at verse 3, 15:42 I'm still in the Today's NIV, the Bible says... 15:52 The new Living Translation uses the phrase, 15:55 "Trying to trap Him." 16:07 As it is today, so it was then, that divorce was a 16:10 common practice among the Jews. 16:12 And people divorced for any and every reason. 16:17 It was well known among the people. 16:19 And the Pharisees who asked Jesus this question 16:22 were well versed in the laws and traditions 16:24 that allowed for this practice. 16:26 So they weren't really inquiring about something 16:30 they had no answer for. 16:31 Their purpose is to back Jesus into a corner 16:36 and pin Him down on one of the hot button issues of the day 16:41 to take a position, to take a side, that they believed 16:46 would alienate Him from one segment of the 16:49 Jewish people or the other. 16:51 But Jesus knows their intentions. 16:54 The Bible says in John 2:25 that Jesus knew what was 16:58 in every person who spoke to Him. 17:01 He knows their intents are evil. 17:07 It is not to solve a problem, but to create one. 17:10 Not to seek a solution, but to stir controversy. 17:15 And Jesus, as only Jesus can, outflanks and outmaneuvers 17:20 the Pharisees. 17:22 And He does not allow them to use their trickery 17:26 or human ingenuity. 17:28 Instead, He appeals to the Word of God. 17:31 He says in verse 4, "Haven't you read, 17:35 you who are so versed in the Scriptures, 17:37 who commit whole passages of the Pentateuch to memory..." 17:50 The King James Version says, "Cleave to his wife." 18:01 No longer two persons, but a single body. 18:10 Jesus quotes Scripture. 18:13 No need to go into some big theological or philosophical 18:18 or ethical debate. 18:20 Jesus quotes the Word and let's it speak for itself. 18:26 And the first thing that it says is that the Creator 18:29 made them male and female. 18:33 Let me say it again, male and female. 18:38 The prerequisite that the Creator established for marriage 18:43 is that it is entered into by a male and female. 18:50 Oh help me, Holy Ghost. 18:53 I know that you love the President. 18:55 And if you're a Christian you're suppose to love the President. 18:58 I love him too. 19:00 But the President and the Congress and the Supreme Court 19:03 and the ACLU, and whoever else, did not establish 19:08 the institution of marriage. 19:11 God did. 19:13 And he said it's for male and female. 19:22 I'm not talking about constitutional rights. 19:25 I'm not talking about American citizenship. 19:27 I'm talking about marriage; 19:29 the institution established by the Creator. 19:32 And the Creator established marriage from the beginning 19:35 for one male and one female. 19:38 And just so that we're clear, not one male and females. 19:50 And before all of you Obama haters get too excited, 19:55 make sure that you receive everything the Creator 19:57 established about marriage, and not just the part 20:00 that you think condemns the President. 20:03 Because the Bible says the man leaves his father and mother 20:06 and cleaves to his wife. 20:09 There are a lot of people who get married 20:11 who don't leave their families. 20:17 Either literally they don't leave, or worse, emotionally 20:21 and psychologically they don't leave their family. 20:26 I heard a Christian family counselor on a very well known 20:31 Christian radio program state a commonly held reality. 20:35 She was mentioning that mothers go through more anxiety 20:42 when their sons get married because they know 20:45 they will be losing their sons. 20:48 But then she went on to say they don't have the same anxiety 20:51 when their daughters get married because they know they will 20:54 never lose their daughters. 20:59 She said mothers know that she and her daughter 21:03 will be communicating as much, if not more, 21:07 after their daughters get married than before. 21:13 Now that may be popular and common today, 21:17 but that is not what the Creator intended 21:21 when He established marriage. 21:23 You're suppose to leave. 21:27 Oh, y'all getting kind of quiet now. 21:32 He specifically says father and mother, 21:36 so that there's no confusion. 21:38 And I'll explain further why this is key 21:40 in the marital process. 21:42 Then He says they are no longer two, but one. 21:46 Another translation puts it this way, 21:48 "They are no longer two persons, but a single body." 21:52 Then He concludes the divine declaration, 21:55 "What God has joined together, let no one separate." 22:01 Now let's start backwards and work our way forward. 22:03 So Jesus says, in God's original plan when He created marriage 22:07 in the Garden of Eden, there was no plan for divorce. 22:13 No prenuptial agreement, 22:15 no backdoor in case it doesn't work out. 22:20 And to highlight this fact, Jesus takes us back 22:23 to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. 22:24 There was no alternate partner, no other option for Adam, 22:31 or Eve, when God established the first marriage. 22:35 Even after sin. 22:38 There was no option to dissolve the marriage, 22:40 even after Adam blamed Eve for their fall. 22:46 God did not offer Adam another partner to resolve the matter. 22:50 No, God's plan was to redeem the relationship, 22:54 not dissolve it. 23:00 Jesus' answer seems to be comprehensive and complete. 23:04 But remember, the question was not raised to receive an answer, 23:08 but to trap Jesus. 23:10 It was as if they weren't even listening to His first response. 23:16 But now their real intention is revealed. 23:18 They want to draw a contrast between Jesus 23:21 and the prophet of Israel. 23:23 The one whom Deuteronomy 34 identifies as the greatest 23:27 prophet in Israel's history. 23:30 So in verse 7 they say... 23:35 That's like saying, "But Ellen White says..." 23:40 Huh? 23:51 "If what You say is right, how does that square with 23:55 what Moses said? 23:58 He said we could write a bill of divorce 24:00 and send our wives away." 24:03 The passage they are referring to is found in Deuteronomy 24:1, 24:07 which says, "If a man marries a woman who becomes 24:11 displeasing to him because he finds something indecent 24:17 about her and he writes a certificate of divorce, 24:21 gives it to her and sends her from his house." 24:26 That was the contentious phrase. 24:30 Now there were two schools of interpretation for this text. 24:34 And the specific difference centered around how the 24:39 phrase, "something indecent," was interpreted 24:43 and which part of the verse itself was emphasized. 24:48 In the two schools of thought, one was followed by 24:52 the Rabbi Shammai which emphasized the 24:56 second portion of the text and understood the phrase, 24:59 "something indecent," to mean unchastity or adultery. 25:05 There was a saying among those who followed Shammai 25:09 that a woman could be as mischievous as Jezebel, 25:14 but as long as she did not commit adultery 25:17 she could not be put away. 25:20 This was the school of thought that Joseph followed 25:23 when he was trying to put Mary away quietly. 25:27 Not on Facebook. 25:31 But quietly after discovering she was pregnant 25:35 before their marriage. 25:38 But Hillel, Rabbi Hillel, emphasized the first part 25:43 of the text which says, "If a woman becomes 25:46 displeasing to him." 25:49 And of course, that displeasure became almost anything 25:53 her husband disliked. 25:55 And here are some of the reasons. 25:56 If she spoiled his dinner. 26:00 If she went out with unbound hair. 26:04 If she spoke to men in the streets. 26:07 If she spoke disrespectfully to his parents. 26:10 If she was an argumentative woman whose voice could be 26:13 heard in the next house. 26:17 Some of you brothers are wishing that was still in place today. 26:25 The Rabbi Akiva went as far as to say that a man could 26:28 divorce his wife if he found another woman 26:30 whom he liked better and considered more beautiful. 26:36 Interesting how the wife could be divorced 26:38 for talking to another man in the street 26:40 while the husband could find another wife 26:43 who pleased him more, and divorce his wife. 26:48 In the Jewish law, the husband could only be divorced 26:52 with his consent, while the wife could be divorced without hers. 26:59 So these were the two contending views of divorce 27:02 that obtained in Christ's day. 27:04 And we can surmise which of these two concepts 27:07 was more popular and more frequently practiced. 27:11 And the pattern practiced in Christ's day 27:14 continues to obtain until this day. 27:16 It is one of the reasons why when men are unfaithful 27:20 and women tend to stay with the unfaithful husbands, 27:22 while the reverse usually is uncommon and does not happen. 27:28 But the real issue that I want to raise is how marriages today 27:32 are understood and interpreted through the lens of divorce; 27:40 what God neither created nor ever intended. 27:43 It is through this lens that we understand and analyze divorce. 27:50 We have reversed the process God created when He 27:55 instituted marriage in Eden. 27:58 We spend too little time in deciding to marry 28:02 and too much time in deciding how to get out of marriage. 28:09 We make the decision to marry too hastily and too easy. 28:17 And what we use to keep marriages together 28:19 is the deterrent to divorce. 28:21 We use a negative to advance the positive. 28:25 It's like serving God, not because you love Him, 28:28 but because you want to avoid going to hell. 28:34 And the Pharisees, of all people, 28:36 should have known better. 28:37 The Jewish word for marriage is, kiddushin. 28:40 It means sanctification, consecration. 28:43 It means, something dedicated to God as His peculiar possession. 28:49 That's what marriage means. 28:52 If someone should have been upholding the principles 28:55 of marriage established by God in Eden, 28:58 of all people it should have been the Pharisees; 29:01 the leaders of the church, the interpreters and 29:03 arbiters of the law. 29:05 But instead of advocating God's original plan, 29:08 their motive is to trap Jesus. 29:11 And whenever we are motivated by devious means, 29:15 it distorts our spiritual discernment and understanding. 29:20 The Pharisees think they have backed Jesus into a corner. 29:25 For Him to side with Shammai would call His involvement 29:30 with the publicans and sinners into question, 29:34 which the conservative Shammai certainly disapproved of. 29:37 But to side with Hillel would be to side with the 29:41 lax interpretation that would disadvantage women. 29:46 Jesus follows neither. 29:49 Jesus never came to follow men. 29:53 He came to see whether or not men would follow Him. 29:58 Jesus will not allow this moment to be wasted 30:02 through bickering and one-upmanship. 30:05 He will seize the moment to promote God's ideal. 30:10 He says in verse 8, "Moses permitted you 30:13 to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard." 30:19 The New Living Translation says, "Hard-hearted wickedness." 30:25 This issue of divorce for any reason was not about Moses. 30:31 It's about you and your unwillingness to submit 30:35 to the will of God. 30:37 Your stiff-necked, hard-hearted wickedness. 30:41 Won't admit your sin. 30:43 And on top of everything else, trying to blame Moses for it. 30:49 And we do that all the time. 30:51 Always asking somebody to give you clearance 30:56 to do what you want to do. 30:58 And then when someone questions you about it, 31:00 blame them for allowing you to do it. 31:06 "Well Pastor so and so said..." 31:10 "Well I went to the conference divorce 31:11 and remarriage committee." 31:15 Or we blame Dr. Phil. 31:18 Or Dr. Laura. 31:21 Or whatever other doctor that you consult as authority. 31:25 Everybody but Dr. Jesus. 31:30 The wise man says in Proverbs 19:3, 31:33 "People ruin their lives by their own foolishness, 31:36 and then are angry at the Lord." 31:41 Jesus says, "Moses is not the problem. 31:44 You are the problem. 31:45 Your hearts are the problem." 31:49 But it was not always that way from the beginning. 31:52 What the beginning was is Adam and Eve. 31:55 That's the beginning. 31:56 God never intended divorce. 32:00 Moses allowed divorce because of human hard-heartedness. 32:05 Divorce is a human creation, a result of sin. 32:08 Don't put this mess on God. 32:14 Malachi 2:16 says God hates divorce. 32:19 God never intended divorce. 32:21 I'm sick and tired of people who think they can jump 32:26 in and out of marriage like jumping Double Dutch. 32:33 Marriage was established by God, and it is indissoluble. 32:39 It cannot be dissolved. 32:41 Why is it indissoluble? 32:43 Because God has joined it. 32:45 And what God has joined, no man, no woman, can separate. 32:53 Since when does a judge have jurisdiction over what God says? 32:59 Can a man dissolve what God has established? 33:02 That's the argument we use to challenge the change of the 33:05 Sabbath to Sunday. 33:07 Huh? 33:08 We challenge the Roman church's right to change the Sabbath, 33:12 and call it the antichrist for presuming to change 33:15 what God has established. 33:17 They have no authority. 33:19 So how is it that we don't understand that when it 33:23 come to changing marriage? 33:26 One of the two institutions established in Eden before sin. 33:32 Oh, y'all getting kind of quiet now. 33:35 Yet when it comes to divorce, we are ready to disregard 33:39 God's dictum for human hard-heartedness. 33:45 Divorce is a human creation. 33:47 A human institution created to accommodate humanities 33:53 unwillingness to submit to God's plan. 33:57 Divorce is not morally neutral. 34:02 It evidences the entrance of sin and the 34:05 hard-heartedness of the heart. 34:07 The Pharisees are focused on the wrong issue. 34:10 They are focused on Moses' prescription and not God's 34:14 original intention. 34:16 Moses' corrective, not God's preventive. 34:20 Jesus says this was never God's intention. 34:26 Hence He discusses the issue of divorce in the 34:28 context of human initiative. 34:30 Look at how He puts it. 34:31 He continues, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife 34:35 except for sexual immorality, and marries another 34:44 commits adultery." 34:47 The gospel of Mark, Mark 10:12 adds, 34:50 "And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, 34:54 she commits adultery." 34:57 Jesus' reference in Mark about a woman divorcing her husband 35:00 was not a part of the Jewish law. 35:02 It was the right of a woman under Gentile law. 35:05 So this statement, Jesus is addressing all marriages; 35:09 Christian and non-Christian, sacred and secular. 35:13 Jesus is saying that because of easy divorces 35:17 people no longer take marriage seriously. 35:23 The position of divorce that Jesus promotes is stronger 35:28 than the understanding that came from both schools of thought. 35:32 Because Jesus begins from the original intent of marriage 35:37 that nothing should dissolve the relationship. 35:40 And it was clear that it was understood that way 35:45 from the reaction of the disciples. 35:47 Listen to their response in verse 10. 35:58 They got the message. 36:01 "This marriage thing is a lot more serious with God 36:03 than we realized." 36:06 Not something to stumble into. 36:09 Not something to do on a whim. 36:11 Not something to do after a whirlwind weekend fling. 36:17 Run off to Las Vegas and get married. 36:22 And the disciples response reveals their selfish 36:24 view of marriage. 36:25 Marriage to them was about what they could get out of it. 36:30 As long as they, as men, had the upper hand 36:34 and didn't have to give anything or make themselves 36:36 vulnerable to someone, it was a good deal. 36:41 "If I cannot get the advantage, if marriage does not 36:44 work for me, it's not worth the trouble of engaging in." 36:49 Selfishness can never be the driving force behind marriage. 36:52 "If it's not what I can get..." 36:55 "It has to be about what I can give." 36:59 We have these twisted ideas that have poisoned 37:03 the marriage institution. 37:04 "I'm getting married to someone who can take care of me." 37:08 "I'm getting married to someone who will please me." 37:11 "I'm getting married to someone who will advance me." 37:14 That's not the principle Jesus is establishing. 37:20 And Jesus' response does not ease the position. 37:23 He says in verse 12, "Not everyone can accept this word." 37:28 In other words, the institution of marriage that God established 37:32 is not for everyone. 37:37 If you have this concept that you can jump in and out of 37:41 marriage if it doesn't work, or change partners, 37:44 or swap mates, or go on a website and plan 37:48 adulterous liaisons, marriage is not for you. 37:53 Stay single. 37:59 Then He concludes, "...but only those to whom it is given." 38:06 So then, who is marriage for? 38:10 Who does Jesus direct this counsel to? 38:13 In Matthew 13:10-17, Jesus' popularity begins to wane 38:20 when He begins to establish His earthly kingdom. 38:25 And beginning in chapter 18 of Matthew, Jesus' ministry 38:28 moves from a general message to all Jews 38:32 to a specific message to those who claim to be His followers. 38:38 From those in leadership who presume to represent Him 38:41 to those that call themselves His disciples 38:45 who presume to follow Him. 38:47 His expectations are greater for them. 38:50 He told His disciples in Matthew 13 that the reason 38:53 He taught in parables was because everyone could not 38:57 receive the full implications of His message. 39:01 So He says they have eyes and ears, but they cannot do 39:07 and cannot see. 39:10 Our human tendency is to only hear 39:15 what we are willing to receive. 39:18 So we accept what falls in line with our agenda 39:24 and dismiss what does not. 39:27 Jesus expected that from all the masses, 39:30 from those who followed Him for the fishes and loaves. 39:34 The prosperity group who's looking for a hundred fold 39:37 return on the things of this world 39:39 that they believe they've given up for Jesus. 39:41 For the name it, claim it, group. 39:43 The kind of believers who crave the goodies that the 39:46 devil can duplicate and counterfeit. 39:49 But for His disciples, the ones He calls His friends, 39:53 those who are willing to follow Jesus 39:56 and receive the same treatment that He received, 40:02 who understand that the servant is no greater than his master, 40:05 and who expect the same treatment 40:10 and misfortune as their master, 40:12 His message about marriage is for them. 40:18 You see, beloved, the gospel is redemptive 40:21 and is intended to reverse the fallen order, 40:25 to reverse the curse and power of sin. 40:27 In Christ we are new creations. 40:29 The old passes away and the new has begun. 40:32 I know this is a hard word for some people. 40:36 And Jesus knows it's a hard word. 40:39 That's why He said all men will not accept it. 40:47 When we impose our own interpretations of marriage, 40:49 we reveal our inability and unwillingness 40:53 to accept God's Word. 40:57 Whether they are hetero or homosexually motivated. 41:05 Jesus' grounds for marriage is that those who are totally 41:09 committed and totally surrendered to Christ 41:12 are the only ones who can receive it. 41:17 I'm not talking about nominal Christians 41:20 who have a bumper sticker on their car that says, 41:22 "Honk if you love Jesus." 41:25 True Christian marriage requires a greater sacrifice 41:30 than many of us today are willing to make. 41:35 Before Adam was ready to get married, 41:38 he had to go through a process. 41:40 And that process took time. 41:42 In the preparation process, 41:45 many of us are not willing to take time. 41:49 We think time is our enemy. 41:51 Time is our friend. 41:55 Why do people rush into marriage? 41:58 We have this idea that we can never hear anything 42:02 or any questions or challenges. 42:04 Why? 42:06 If it's real, why can't anyone question you about it? 42:11 I hear sometimes people say they don't want to hear anything 42:14 negative about the person. 42:15 Why not? 42:17 What are you afraid of? 42:19 That you'll learn the truth about them? 42:25 God takes Adam through a process to prepare him for marriage. 42:28 He has Adam name all the animals. 42:29 And in that process, Adam begins to understand 42:32 what it means to be in a relationship with another 42:34 person who is his equal. 42:35 He begins to realize that it require mutual surrender, 42:38 the kind of surrender that he has already experienced 42:41 in his relationship with God. 42:42 And after this process, he becomes suitable for marriage 42:46 and ready to receive a wife, whoever God chooses for him. 42:52 Not who he wants, but who God chooses for him. 42:59 So what process have you man, you woman, gone through 43:03 in preparation for the compliment God has for you? 43:08 In order for Eve to be created, Adam had to surrender 43:12 a part of himself in the process. 43:15 Admittedly, God did not consult him, but put him to sleep. 43:21 And in a very real sense, his sleeping during the 43:24 creative process was a form of complete surrender. 43:30 You know, marriage like no other human to human relationship 43:33 requires the death of self in order to truly become like 43:40 the original relationship God created in the Garden of Eden. 43:44 Ephesians 5:21 says husbands and wives are suppose to submit 43:48 one to the other out of reverence for Christ. 43:51 This is why marrying a Christian is so important. 43:57 Are you hearing me today? 43:58 A Christian. 44:00 Because the marital relationship requires total submission 44:04 and total surrender to one another. 44:06 And we learn how to submit to one another by first 44:10 learning how to submit and surrender totally 44:13 to Jesus Christ. 44:19 Every other religion promotes individualism; 44:21 the promotion of self, self control, 44:24 and self discipline. 44:26 But it is not the Christian experience. 44:29 Discipline comes from the same root as disciple. 44:32 And the requirement of becoming Christ's disciple 44:35 is self denial. 44:38 Luke 9:23 says to become Christ's disciple, you must be 44:42 willing to deny self, take up your cross, and follow Him. 44:46 The discipline of Christianity is the discipline 44:48 of self surrender, the renunciation of self, 44:51 the death of self. 44:56 And marriage, in order to be successful, requires 45:00 mutual submission and mutual surrender; 45:02 first to Christ and then to one another. 45:04 It is why the requirement of marriage is to leave 45:07 father and mother and cleave to one another. 45:10 There can be no dual submission to your spouse 45:14 and to your family. 45:17 Think about this. 45:18 When Jesus speaks about our relationship with Him, 45:20 He says that it brings division in the human family. 45:23 Father against son, mother against daughter, 45:27 folds in your own household. 45:29 Why this division? 45:31 Because if Christ is not first in your life, 45:34 you cannot be in relationship with Him. 45:36 He will not share you with anyone, not even your family. 45:43 Now I'm not suggesting that you should disrespect your family, 45:46 because the fifth commandment says that we 45:48 must honor our parents. 45:49 So I'm not saying that you should disregard or disrespect 45:52 or dishonor your family, or ignore their counsel. 45:55 Because remember, the kind of leadership that Jesus calls 45:58 His disciples to follow is servant leadership. 46:02 But hear me when I tell you this, 46:05 your spouse will never fully surrender themselves to you 46:10 if they believe that you have not left your family. 46:17 When you hold yourself back and reserve a portion of yourself 46:20 to your family, that withholding creates 46:23 distrust in the relationship. 46:26 The Bible says that in order for the two to become one, 46:29 you have to leave your family and cleave to your spouse. 46:36 The two processes cannot be handled simultaneously. 46:42 Plato had this idea about humans. 46:45 He created the legend that the original human beings 46:48 were double of what they are now. 46:50 And the legend said because of their size and strength, 46:55 it made them arrogant. 46:56 And so the gods cut them in halves. 46:59 And he said real happiness could only be made 47:02 when the two halves found each other again, 47:06 married, and completed each other. 47:10 Sounds so romantic, doesn't it. 47:14 But that's not God's plan. 47:17 God's plan is better. 47:19 It's not haphazard like some endless search to find 47:23 your better half, some soul mate. 47:27 In many ways, God's process is that process in reverse. 47:32 God takes two wholes and challenges them 47:36 to lose themselves to each other and for each other, 47:41 to create one new whole being in marriage. 47:44 The two shall no longer be two persons, but one flesh. 47:49 Two becoming one certainly has a physical component 47:55 that is externally exhibited in sexual consummation. 48:00 But that physical consummation is only a reflection 48:03 of a holistic unity that incorporates every aspect 48:09 of their being. 48:10 This is why sex cannot come before marriage. 48:17 Because the union of marriage requires a prior spiritual 48:21 and emotion and social and character union 48:25 which sexual union is suppose to consummate. 48:31 When sex comes in prematurely, it distorts and distracts 48:35 and damages the union that the other elements 48:43 are suppose to come before. 48:47 When sex happens, it releases a chemical into the brain 48:50 that distorts our ability to reason 48:52 and make sound judgments. 48:54 Did you know that? 48:57 A mere physical union cheapens the impact 49:00 of sexual fulfillment. 49:02 I overheard two young women talking about a friend of theirs 49:06 who had two suitors for her marriage. 49:09 And she was having difficulty deciding whom she was going to 49:13 choose, because one was better than the other in bed. 49:19 She couldn't make a good decision because 49:22 sex had distorted her ability to make a God decision. 49:30 And that's our problem. 49:32 We want God to bless us on our terms. 49:37 In marriage, God is establishing a principle of 49:40 self renunciation, self denial. 49:44 We must be willing to die to self. 49:47 If self remains, the two will never become one. 49:50 You see, we live in a world that preaches self promotion, 49:53 self fulfillment, independence and personal freedom. 49:57 That's good Americanism. 49:58 It may work for democracy, but it is not the principle 50:01 that marriage is founded on. 50:02 There is no such thing in marriage as separate entities 50:06 that function independently. 50:08 Independence is the reason for sin. 50:13 All of creation operates cooperatively. 50:15 The Godhead operates on consultation and agreement. 50:19 Yet husbands and wives want to operate independently, 50:23 apart and separate from each other. 50:25 If you want to remain independent, 50:28 don't get married. 50:34 If you're a selfish person who wants to have their own way, 50:37 "It's my way or the highway," 50:38 don't get on the marriage highway. 50:43 That concept has no place in marriage. 50:45 It's not for everybody. 50:47 So then how does anybody make it? 50:49 How could someone be successful? 50:52 After everything Jesus said and taught His disciples 50:54 in the chapter, He gives a secret for following the 50:57 principles that He prescribed to His followers. 51:00 It's found in verse 26. 51:02 He says to them, "With human beings this is impossible, 51:05 but with God all things are possible." 51:12 Hey, beloved, I'm not up here on some pedestal above you. 51:16 We're all in this thing together. 51:18 I'm a sinner just like you, saved by grace. 51:22 When the woman was caught in adultery, 51:23 Jesus didn't condemn her. 51:25 He forgave her and said, "Go and sin no more." 51:29 We can find forgiveness for our past sins, whatever they are. 51:34 But God expects us to live transformed lives in the future, 51:38 completely surrendered to Jesus Christ. 51:40 Paul says, "To live is Christ, to die is gain." 51:44 We can find forgiveness and fulfillment 51:49 and power in our futures with Christ. 51:52 God cleans the slate and gives us a new future. 51:55 Thank God He's the God of a second chance. 52:00 So whatever you've done in the past, 52:04 God can give you a clean slate today. 52:10 Last year around this time, a few months after this, 52:15 2013, the US Open was played at the Merion Golf Course 52:20 in Pinehurst, Pennsylvania. 52:23 It was very significant because in 1950, 52:27 at that same golf course, it was the time when Ben Hogan, 52:34 the great golfer, made his comeback victory 52:38 from one of the greatest moments in golf history. 52:41 Now Hogan is a great player, so it really wasn't 52:44 a surprise that he won. 52:46 But what was surprising was that eleven months earlier 52:51 he was in a near fatal head on car collision 52:56 with a Greyhound bus on a foggy Texas road. 53:04 When it happened, his injuries were very severe. 53:08 A double fracture of his pelvis, 53:10 a fractured collarbone, fractured left ankle, 53:14 chipped ribs, near fatal blood clots. 53:18 A surgeon was flown in from New Orleans 53:22 by U.S. Air Force planes. 53:25 He operated and worked feverishly on Ben Hogan 53:28 and saved his life. 53:33 When it first happened, they didn't even believe 53:36 that he could walk again, much less play golf. 53:41 But Hogan went through the painstaking process 53:44 of rehabilitating himself. 53:45 His wife working with him, massaging and rubbing his legs. 53:50 He worked through, and it was a heroic return to golf 53:54 when eleven months later not only did he return, 53:59 but won the US Open. 54:03 And here's the greatest part of the story. 54:07 When they got to the wreckage and examined the damage 54:12 to the car, the steering wheel had actually gone through 54:19 the driver side seat. 54:24 They didn't know how Hogan survived the crash. 54:30 And so the examiners looked through the records 54:33 to find out what Hogan said happened. 54:38 And Ben Hogan said that when he saw the bus coming 54:44 at his car, his first instinct was to hurl his body 54:52 across his wife and protect her body from the impact. 54:58 And because his first instinct was to save his wife, 55:04 he saved his own life. 55:11 His first instinct... 55:13 ...save his wife. 55:16 Saved his own life. 55:20 Oh my brothers and sisters, 55:24 is marriage that important to you? 55:29 The person who you might be saving 55:32 when you save your marriage might be yourself. 55:40 Might be yourself. 55:44 Let's bow our heads and pray. 55:48 Father in heaven, we are grateful today 55:53 for the tremendous gift that You have given humanity; 55:59 the institution of marriage. 56:03 You gave it to us before sin as a gift. 56:12 When You completed Your work of creation, 56:14 You looked and You saw Adam, and You said, "It is not good 56:22 for man to be alone." 56:26 And You made for him a helper, 56:29 one to compliment him. 56:32 And after You made his wife, You said it was very good. 56:42 Today, Lord, it is our desire to recapture that 56:48 paradise relationship. 56:51 But so much has happened on this earth. 56:53 Sin has distorted marriage. 56:56 The devil has placed so many counterfeits 57:00 in the place of marriage. 57:02 And so today, Lord, we want to recapture 57:06 that blessed institution. 57:09 And we know that we cannot do it ourselves. 57:11 We need Your power. 57:13 We need Your Spirit, we need Your grace. 57:17 And so we surrender and submit ourselves to You. 57:20 Whatever has happened in the past, Lord, 57:22 we ask for Your forgiveness. 57:24 And we submit ourselves and our relationship with You 57:27 to repair the brokenness, the broken places 57:30 in our lives and in our relationships. 57:33 Bless our marriages and bless our homes. 57:36 And bless each person here and each person 57:38 who hears this message, that they will trust in You 57:43 and in what You can do for our families and our lives. 57:47 For we ask it all in Jesus' name, amen. |
Revised 2014-12-17