Hello, friends, and welcome
to the 3ABN Worship Center
00:00:16.44\00:00:19.10
on this
beautiful Sabbath morning.
00:00:19.13\00:00:20.70
We are all gathered
here to worship the Lord.
00:00:21.04\00:00:23.63
And those of us here
in Thompsonville, Illinois
00:00:23.66\00:00:26.72
would like to welcome
you with a hearty amen.
00:00:26.75\00:00:28.61
Can we say amen, church?
00:00:28.64\00:00:29.96
We have been
blessed, tremendously blessed,
00:00:30.70\00:00:33.46
over the last two meetings.
00:00:33.49\00:00:34.86
Dr. Timothy Nixon, good
friend of mine from childhood.
00:00:34.89\00:00:38.41
One of the sermons he
preached to begin the series
00:00:38.91\00:00:40.73
was entitled, Boys To Men.
00:00:40.76\00:00:43.41
We knew each other
from the time we were boys.
00:00:43.61\00:00:46.24
And God has allowed both
of us to grow up to be men.
00:00:46.27\00:00:48.89
Men of the Word,
men of the living God.
00:00:49.15\00:00:51.84
And last night we were
blessed with another sermon.
00:00:52.05\00:00:54.97
The title was a
little misleading.
00:00:55.00\00:00:56.69
And so if you hear that,
you could give a different spin
00:00:56.72\00:00:59.20
on that in your own mind.
00:00:59.23\00:01:00.46
But it was, Junk In The Trunk.
00:01:00.70\00:01:03.24
Wasn't that a
wonderful message last night?
00:01:03.27\00:01:05.11
You know, some of us
have so much junk in our past
00:01:05.14\00:01:07.66
that we have not been
making room for the Lord
00:01:07.69\00:01:10.12
to fill our
lives in the present.
00:01:10.15\00:01:12.20
And that was a powerful message.
00:01:12.40\00:01:14.30
I would say that's
a message that I know
00:01:14.33\00:01:17.43
will be a blessing to you.
00:01:17.46\00:01:18.72
And we encourage you
to contact Dare To Dream
00:01:18.92\00:01:21.64
to further that
mission and that ministry
00:01:21.67\00:01:25.14
of word in someone's life.
00:01:25.17\00:01:27.46
But today, I'm so glad
to be able to introduce
00:01:27.49\00:01:30.57
Dr. Timothy Nixon.
00:01:30.93\00:01:32.68
He is a native of New York City.
00:01:33.37\00:01:35.66
Born and raised in New York.
00:01:35.69\00:01:37.98
Attended Oakwood College,
graduated with his B.A. degree.
00:01:38.84\00:01:42.06
Went to Andrews University
where he received his MDiv.
00:01:42.22\00:01:45.16
And now he has
his doctorate degree.
00:01:45.19\00:01:47.20
And he began his
pastoral ministry in 1981.
00:01:47.23\00:01:50.59
And I tell you, he use to
be the chaplain, part of the
00:01:50.86\00:01:54.92
chaplaincy program
of Andrews University.
00:01:54.95\00:01:57.05
But today he presently
serves as associate chaplain
00:01:57.08\00:02:01.14
for Andrews University.
00:02:01.17\00:02:02.91
If you up go to Andrews
University, quite a strong
00:02:03.01\00:02:06.63
Adventist institution.
00:02:06.70\00:02:08.37
Longevity is a part of that
institution, and he's there.
00:02:08.63\00:02:12.27
He was involved in
youth ministry leadership,
00:02:12.54\00:02:14.39
public evangelism, homiletics,
that's what he taught,
00:02:14.42\00:02:17.37
and preaching
for the university's
00:02:17.40\00:02:18.85
theological department.
00:02:18.88\00:02:20.20
And if you've been here
for the last two meetings,
00:02:20.40\00:02:21.93
you know that he knows
how to impart the Word.
00:02:21.96\00:02:23.80
Amen to that?
00:02:23.83\00:02:24.90
And today we're glad
that his wife is here,
00:02:25.24\00:02:27.21
Sandria, former Lalasingh.
00:02:27.24\00:02:29.69
What a name with
a song behind it.
00:02:29.72\00:02:32.19
But today his
message is a powerful one.
00:02:32.62\00:02:34.98
He's talking
about relationships.
00:02:35.01\00:02:37.04
How to grow in Christ.
00:02:37.15\00:02:38.65
And today's
message is about marriage.
00:02:38.68\00:02:41.45
It's about what?
00:02:41.48\00:02:42.61
Marriage.
00:02:42.64\00:02:43.67
Not just the actual
marriage, but what it means
00:02:43.70\00:02:46.66
to have a relationship,
and a growing one with Christ.
00:02:46.69\00:02:49.62
Before we introduce
our music for today,
00:02:49.84\00:02:52.25
we have been
blessed tremendously.
00:02:52.28\00:02:53.66
Last night we had two songs.
00:02:53.69\00:02:56.01
Wonderful songs.
00:02:56.22\00:02:57.36
And Brian Ezra Bates is a
man who knows how to become a
00:02:57.39\00:03:01.45
vessel of honor to communicate
what God has called upon him
00:03:01.48\00:03:05.93
to share with us today.
00:03:05.96\00:03:07.31
Before he comes out,
let's bow our heads as we invite
00:03:07.34\00:03:10.20
the presence of the Lord to
be with us this Sabbath morning.
00:03:10.23\00:03:12.91
Our gracious Father in
heaven, what a blessing it is
00:03:13.20\00:03:15.44
to know that You
are here with us,
00:03:15.80\00:03:17.63
to know that You'll
sing and speak through us.
00:03:17.98\00:03:20.74
We pray now that we
can prepare our hearts for
00:03:21.00\00:03:23.35
the receiving of the Word.
00:03:23.38\00:03:24.86
That we will hear what the
Spirit has to say to the church.
00:03:25.13\00:03:28.55
So, Lord, come now and mold
us and give us willing hearts,
00:03:28.75\00:03:32.90
that when we leave this place,
we will not leave Thy presence.
00:03:32.93\00:03:36.80
This we pray in
Jesus' name, amen.
00:03:36.83\00:03:40.33
Well the next voice
you will hear after that of
00:03:40.69\00:03:43.14
our minister of
music, Brian Ezra Bates,
00:03:43.87\00:03:46.26
will be that of
Dr. Timothy Nixon.
00:03:46.29\00:03:49.09
God is able,
00:03:54.89\00:03:58.68
God is able,
00:03:59.59\00:04:06.65
God is able,
00:04:08.26\00:04:13.16
and He won't fail.
00:04:13.19\00:04:19.26
God is able,
00:04:19.60\00:04:26.44
God is able,
00:04:27.22\00:04:32.33
God is able,
00:04:32.78\00:04:37.41
and He won't fail.
00:04:37.44\00:04:42.97
Tell me, who can make a mountain
00:04:44.34\00:04:50.06
move out of my way?
00:04:50.37\00:04:54.79
And who can make a miracle
00:04:55.12\00:04:58.81
because of my faith?
00:04:58.99\00:05:03.09
And when the doctor says
no, who can still say yes?
00:05:03.34\00:05:10.72
And when I'm in trouble,
00:05:10.75\00:05:13.97
who's right there to
help me pass every test?
00:05:14.00\00:05:19.75
God is able,
00:05:19.78\00:05:23.79
God is able,
00:05:24.12\00:05:28.96
God is able,
00:05:29.30\00:05:33.72
and He won't fail.
00:05:33.75\00:05:38.46
Tell me, who can make a river
00:05:38.49\00:05:42.47
out of a little stream?
00:05:42.50\00:05:46.01
And who can tell
the clouds to roll back
00:05:46.11\00:05:50.29
so that the sun can look at me?
00:05:50.32\00:05:54.62
And who can tell the wind
to whistle through the trees?
00:05:55.26\00:06:01.78
And when I'm in
trouble, who's that same God
00:06:01.81\00:06:06.22
who will come
down and rescue me?
00:06:06.25\00:06:11.48
God is able,
00:06:11.51\00:06:15.72
God is able,
00:06:16.18\00:06:20.90
God is able,
00:06:21.23\00:06:24.69
and He won't fail.
00:06:24.72\00:06:28.34
No, He won't fail.
00:06:28.44\00:06:35.08
He won't fail.
00:06:35.19\00:06:42.84
Don't you dare give up,
00:06:42.94\00:06:45.13
don't give in.
00:06:45.16\00:06:47.06
God won't fail.
00:06:47.09\00:06:53.35
God is able,
00:06:53.38\00:06:55.95
God is able,
00:06:56.62\00:07:00.30
God is able,
00:07:00.71\00:07:04.28
and He won't,
00:07:04.31\00:07:07.64
no God won't,
00:07:07.93\00:07:16.91
He won't fail.
00:07:17.24\00:07:19.78
No God won't,
00:07:19.81\00:07:27.15
He won't fail.
00:07:29.47\00:07:32.45
He'll never leave,
00:07:33.25\00:07:37.08
nor will He forsake you.
00:07:37.32\00:07:41.16
He won't fail.
00:07:41.86\00:07:44.26
And He'll be
there until the end.
00:07:44.54\00:07:51.82
He won't fail.
00:07:52.11\00:07:54.31
I believe He won't fail.
00:07:54.45\00:08:03.66
Let's give Brian a hearty amen.
00:08:13.68\00:08:15.70
Good morning, everyone.
00:08:17.22\00:08:18.58
Happy Sabbath.
00:08:19.02\00:08:20.20
It's good to see you all today.
00:08:21.00\00:08:23.33
We've had a wonderful time thus
far talking about relationships.
00:08:23.36\00:08:27.07
And today we want
to talk about marriage
00:08:27.74\00:08:30.36
from the subject,
Grounds For Marriage.
00:08:30.91\00:08:34.15
If you have your Bibles,
turn with me to the gospel of
00:08:34.18\00:08:36.80
Matthew chapter 19.
00:08:36.83\00:08:39.51
And I will read in
your hearing verses 9,
00:08:40.05\00:08:45.52
I should say verses 10 and 11.
00:08:45.72\00:08:48.84
I'm reading from Today's NIV.
00:08:49.56\00:08:53.09
Matthew 19 verses 10 and 11.
00:08:53.66\00:08:56.70
Let's pray together.
00:09:22.53\00:09:23.83
Father, now we ask
that You will speak to us.
00:09:24.60\00:09:29.65
We want no one to
stand in Your way.
00:09:31.13\00:09:33.99
Not even the preacher.
00:09:35.40\00:09:37.58
So take full control.
00:09:38.52\00:09:40.60
For we ask it in
Jesus' name, amen.
00:09:41.62\00:09:45.57
A couple of years ago, I
came across an article in the
00:09:47.02\00:09:51.33
New York Daily News,
January 2012, titled,
00:09:51.36\00:09:57.22
Ladies Want Tim
Tebow In A Biblical Sense.
00:09:57.25\00:10:02.90
This article went on to say
that the infidelity website,
00:10:04.25\00:10:09.73
ashleymadison.com
found that women lusted
00:10:10.18\00:10:16.57
for the virginal Tim Tebow,
who was then a New York Jet.
00:10:16.60\00:10:21.22
Infidelity matchmaking site...
00:10:22.42\00:10:25.53
Isn't that an oxymoron.
00:10:25.56\00:10:27.53
...Ashley Madison,
asked over 13,000 women
00:10:28.22\00:10:32.15
which athlete would make
them stray from their husbands.
00:10:32.18\00:10:36.70
And one in five listed Tim
Tebow as their favorite choice.
00:10:37.18\00:10:43.05
It all highlights where we
are today when it comes to the
00:10:45.32\00:10:51.07
institution of marriage.
00:10:51.10\00:10:53.53
And perhaps we
should not be surprised
00:10:54.22\00:10:57.82
that any and everything
today passes for marriage.
00:10:58.14\00:11:01.85
We know the
statistics that 46% of marriages
00:11:01.88\00:11:05.32
end in divorce,
about one in two.
00:11:05.35\00:11:07.76
And those statistics
are unchanged in the church.
00:11:07.79\00:11:11.46
In 2008, when they evaluated
adults who have ever been
00:11:12.78\00:11:18.45
married, 32% of born again
Christians have been divorced
00:11:18.48\00:11:23.20
compared to 33% of
people who were not born again.
00:11:23.23\00:11:27.77
And by the way,
Catholic divorces
00:11:28.07\00:11:29.87
are less than Protestant.
00:11:29.90\00:11:31.61
One of the most awkward
embarrassing experiences I have
00:11:32.98\00:11:35.75
ever had was returning to my
alma mater, Oakwood University,
00:11:35.78\00:11:40.03
a Christian university, on
alumni weekend, and wondering
00:11:40.13\00:11:43.88
when I see an old
friend or acquaintance of mine
00:11:43.91\00:11:48.27
who is married, their
spouse not being with them,
00:11:48.30\00:11:53.06
and not knowing
exactly what to say to them
00:11:53.09\00:11:56.73
about their spouse,
00:11:57.08\00:11:58.87
not knowing how
to approach them.
00:11:59.70\00:12:02.01
The conversation gets quiet, and
then finally they will tell me
00:12:02.44\00:12:06.00
they're no longer married.
00:12:06.27\00:12:08.54
And I recently had conversations
even with some of my former
00:12:11.17\00:12:14.40
students who were married,
and I thought it was safe
00:12:14.43\00:12:17.08
to ask them about their
spouses and how married life
00:12:17.11\00:12:20.18
is with them, only to be shocked
and hear them in an almost
00:12:20.21\00:12:24.86
matter of fact
manner as they say that they
00:12:24.89\00:12:27.84
are no longer married.
00:12:28.18\00:12:30.15
More and more people
today are getting married
00:12:31.69\00:12:35.53
with the mindset that,
"If it doesn't work out,
00:12:35.56\00:12:40.60
I'll just get a divorce."
00:12:40.80\00:12:43.36
And divorce has become
more prominent and common
00:12:44.57\00:12:47.85
and acceptable in
the marital experience
00:12:47.88\00:12:51.32
than sustained marriages.
00:12:52.03\00:12:54.16
We spend money and more
time and energy creating
00:12:54.97\00:12:59.21
and devising ways to
end marriages than we do
00:12:59.24\00:13:03.92
to preserve them.
00:13:03.95\00:13:05.91
Prenuptial agreements have
become a standard inclusion
00:13:06.65\00:13:10.47
in the marital
preparation process.
00:13:10.77\00:13:13.61
And more time is taken planning
how the marriage will be
00:13:13.64\00:13:17.16
dissolved before it even begins.
00:13:17.19\00:13:21.26
And more energy and emphasis
is suspended in creating
00:13:21.29\00:13:25.33
new and easier ways
to dissolve relationships
00:13:25.36\00:13:29.30
and make them as
risk free as possible
00:13:29.58\00:13:33.50
so that our lives will
not become too entangled
00:13:33.53\00:13:36.94
and complicated if and
when we end the marriage.
00:13:36.97\00:13:41.27
Do you realize that America
has the highest divorce rates
00:13:43.66\00:13:48.07
in the world?
00:13:48.10\00:13:49.33
Christian civilized America;
double the rate of Canada,
00:13:49.36\00:13:53.31
Finland, Austria,
Germany, and Sweden.
00:13:53.34\00:13:55.96
Triple the rate of
England and France.
00:13:56.49\00:13:58.52
Five times the rate of
Italy, Belgium, and Spain.
00:13:58.55\00:14:01.48
America the beautiful.
00:14:01.51\00:14:03.18
And the reason is because
in most of these countries
00:14:04.95\00:14:09.56
there is a cooling off
period of three to five years
00:14:09.59\00:14:13.69
before a divorce.
00:14:13.72\00:14:15.28
And during that cooling
off period, people reconcile.
00:14:15.31\00:14:18.88
But not in America.
00:14:18.91\00:14:20.56
We believe in quick divorces.
00:14:22.57\00:14:25.07
No fault divorces. Huh?
00:14:25.64\00:14:27.97
And I am concerned with
how little time and thought
00:14:29.70\00:14:32.78
goes into the decision
people today make for marriage.
00:14:32.81\00:14:37.12
And one of the reasons they
enter into it so haphazardly
00:14:37.15\00:14:40.95
is because we see divorce as
an easy accessible escape route
00:14:40.98\00:14:46.96
that everyone
understands and accepts.
00:14:46.99\00:14:50.16
We are more versed in
the grounds for divorce
00:14:51.53\00:14:55.41
than we are in the
grounds for marriage.
00:14:55.44\00:14:59.73
Our focus this weekend
has been on relationships.
00:15:02.93\00:15:05.39
And our first two messages
looked at men in relationships
00:15:05.42\00:15:09.24
and women in relationships.
00:15:09.27\00:15:11.01
And so today we want
to bring them together
00:15:11.04\00:15:14.44
in this subject,
Grounds For Marriage.
00:15:14.64\00:15:17.81
Divorce was definitely
the rule and not the exception
00:15:19.42\00:15:25.37
in Christ's day.
00:15:25.40\00:15:27.17
And I want to use a
somewhat familiar passage
00:15:28.13\00:15:30.91
from the gospels to
discover where Jesus is
00:15:31.13\00:15:34.81
on this issue of
marriage and divorce.
00:15:35.27\00:15:38.47
In Matthew chapter
19 beginning at verse 3,
00:15:38.81\00:15:42.82
I'm still in the
Today's NIV, the Bible says...
00:15:42.85\00:15:47.58
The new Living
Translation uses the phrase,
00:15:52.79\00:15:55.10
"Trying to trap Him."
00:15:55.13\00:15:57.37
As it is today, so it
was then, that divorce was a
00:16:07.64\00:16:10.78
common practice among the Jews.
00:16:10.81\00:16:12.80
And people divorced
for any and every reason.
00:16:12.83\00:16:17.03
It was well
known among the people.
00:16:17.78\00:16:19.49
And the Pharisees who
asked Jesus this question
00:16:19.52\00:16:22.02
were well versed in
the laws and traditions
00:16:22.05\00:16:24.76
that allowed for this practice.
00:16:24.79\00:16:26.65
So they weren't really
inquiring about something
00:16:26.81\00:16:30.13
they had no answer for.
00:16:30.16\00:16:31.80
Their purpose is to
back Jesus into a corner
00:16:31.83\00:16:36.11
and pin Him down on one of
the hot button issues of the day
00:16:36.14\00:16:41.14
to take a position, to
take a side, that they believed
00:16:41.71\00:16:46.20
would alienate Him
from one segment of the
00:16:46.23\00:16:49.34
Jewish people or the other.
00:16:49.37\00:16:51.16
But Jesus knows
their intentions.
00:16:51.19\00:16:54.08
The Bible says in John
2:25 that Jesus knew what was
00:16:54.27\00:16:58.60
in every person
who spoke to Him.
00:16:58.63\00:17:01.55
He knows their intents are evil.
00:17:01.58\00:17:05.15
It is not to solve a
problem, but to create one.
00:17:07.38\00:17:10.45
Not to seek a solution,
but to stir controversy.
00:17:10.48\00:17:14.06
And Jesus, as only Jesus
can, outflanks and outmaneuvers
00:17:15.57\00:17:20.43
the Pharisees.
00:17:20.46\00:17:21.91
And He does not allow
them to use their trickery
00:17:22.79\00:17:26.89
or human ingenuity.
00:17:26.92\00:17:28.40
Instead, He
appeals to the Word of God.
00:17:28.43\00:17:31.19
He says in verse
4, "Haven't you read,
00:17:31.95\00:17:34.47
you who are so
versed in the Scriptures,
00:17:35.04\00:17:37.50
who commit whole passages
of the Pentateuch to memory..."
00:17:37.53\00:17:40.57
The King James Version
says, "Cleave to his wife."
00:17:50.50\00:17:53.69
No longer two
persons, but a single body.
00:18:01.26\00:18:03.97
Jesus quotes Scripture.
00:18:10.32\00:18:12.66
No need to go into some big
theological or philosophical
00:18:13.08\00:18:18.28
or ethical debate.
00:18:18.31\00:18:19.57
Jesus quotes the Word and
let's it speak for itself.
00:18:20.65\00:18:25.38
And the first thing that
it says is that the Creator
00:18:26.09\00:18:29.78
made them male and female.
00:18:29.81\00:18:33.53
Let me say it
again, male and female.
00:18:33.56\00:18:37.99
The prerequisite that the
Creator established for marriage
00:18:38.84\00:18:43.61
is that it is entered
into by a male and female.
00:18:43.64\00:18:50.08
Oh help me, Holy Ghost.
00:18:50.20\00:18:52.15
I know that you
love the President.
00:18:53.40\00:18:55.76
And if you're a Christian you're
suppose to love the President.
00:18:55.99\00:18:58.44
I love him too.
00:18:58.47\00:19:00.21
But the President and the
Congress and the Supreme Court
00:19:00.31\00:19:03.84
and the ACLU, and
whoever else, did not establish
00:19:03.87\00:19:08.36
the institution of marriage.
00:19:08.39\00:19:11.23
God did.
00:19:11.93\00:19:13.23
And he said it's
for male and female.
00:19:13.26\00:19:17.90
I'm not talking about
constitutional rights.
00:19:22.23\00:19:24.83
I'm not talking
about American citizenship.
00:19:25.03\00:19:27.86
I'm talking about marriage;
00:19:27.89\00:19:29.63
the institution
established by the Creator.
00:19:29.66\00:19:32.26
And the Creator established
marriage from the beginning
00:19:32.29\00:19:35.02
for one male and one female.
00:19:35.05\00:19:37.70
And just so that we're
clear, not one male and females.
00:19:38.79\00:19:45.23
And before all of you
Obama haters get too excited,
00:19:50.14\00:19:53.40
make sure that you
receive everything the Creator
00:19:55.09\00:19:57.73
established about
marriage, and not just the part
00:19:57.76\00:20:00.17
that you think
condemns the President.
00:20:00.20\00:20:02.38
Because the Bible says the
man leaves his father and mother
00:20:03.09\00:20:06.47
and cleaves to his wife.
00:20:06.50\00:20:08.82
There are a lot of
people who get married
00:20:09.99\00:20:11.90
who don't leave their families.
00:20:11.93\00:20:15.35
Either literally they don't
leave, or worse, emotionally
00:20:17.70\00:20:21.38
and psychologically they
don't leave their family.
00:20:21.41\00:20:24.63
I heard a Christian family
counselor on a very well known
00:20:26.83\00:20:31.32
Christian radio program
state a commonly held reality.
00:20:31.35\00:20:35.58
She was mentioning that
mothers go through more anxiety
00:20:35.61\00:20:41.81
when their sons get
married because they know
00:20:42.01\00:20:45.87
they will be losing their sons.
00:20:45.90\00:20:47.97
But then she went on to say
they don't have the same anxiety
00:20:48.00\00:20:51.21
when their daughters get married
because they know they will
00:20:51.24\00:20:54.10
never lose their daughters.
00:20:54.13\00:20:56.86
She said mothers know
that she and her daughter
00:20:59.06\00:21:02.86
will be communicating
as much, if not more,
00:21:03.06\00:21:07.25
after their daughters
get married than before.
00:21:07.80\00:21:11.05
Now that may be
popular and common today,
00:21:13.81\00:21:17.41
but that is not
what the Creator intended
00:21:17.51\00:21:21.86
when He established marriage.
00:21:21.96\00:21:23.46
You're suppose to leave.
00:21:23.49\00:21:26.31
Oh, y'all getting
kind of quiet now.
00:21:27.62\00:21:29.51
He specifically
says father and mother,
00:21:32.35\00:21:35.99
so that there's no confusion.
00:21:36.02\00:21:37.95
And I'll explain
further why this is key
00:21:38.59\00:21:40.45
in the marital process.
00:21:40.48\00:21:42.10
Then He says they are
no longer two, but one.
00:21:42.99\00:21:46.02
Another
translation puts it this way,
00:21:46.05\00:21:48.12
"They are no longer two
persons, but a single body."
00:21:48.15\00:21:51.73
Then He concludes
the divine declaration,
00:21:52.89\00:21:55.24
"What God has joined
together, let no one separate."
00:21:55.27\00:21:59.96
Now let's start backwards
and work our way forward.
00:22:01.55\00:22:03.64
So Jesus says, in God's original
plan when He created marriage
00:22:03.67\00:22:07.30
in the Garden of Eden,
there was no plan for divorce.
00:22:07.33\00:22:12.01
No prenuptial agreement,
00:22:13.71\00:22:15.40
no backdoor in case
it doesn't work out.
00:22:15.90\00:22:19.43
And to highlight this
fact, Jesus takes us back
00:22:20.32\00:22:23.09
to Adam and Eve in
the Garden of Eden.
00:22:23.12\00:22:24.95
There was no alternate partner,
no other option for Adam,
00:22:24.98\00:22:30.57
or Eve, when God
established the first marriage.
00:22:31.71\00:22:35.21
Even after sin.
00:22:35.24\00:22:37.23
There was no option
to dissolve the marriage,
00:22:38.44\00:22:40.71
even after Adam
blamed Eve for their fall.
00:22:40.91\00:22:44.93
God did not offer Adam another
partner to resolve the matter.
00:22:46.12\00:22:50.50
No, God's plan was to
redeem the relationship,
00:22:50.53\00:22:54.62
not dissolve it.
00:22:54.75\00:22:56.98
Jesus' answer seems to be
comprehensive and complete.
00:23:00.26\00:23:04.55
But remember, the question was
not raised to receive an answer,
00:23:04.58\00:23:08.41
but to trap Jesus.
00:23:08.44\00:23:10.26
It was as if they weren't even
listening to His first response.
00:23:10.97\00:23:15.42
But now their real
intention is revealed.
00:23:16.34\00:23:18.61
They want to draw a
contrast between Jesus
00:23:18.64\00:23:21.74
and the prophet of Israel.
00:23:21.77\00:23:23.35
The one whom Deuteronomy
34 identifies as the greatest
00:23:23.38\00:23:27.67
prophet in Israel's history.
00:23:27.70\00:23:30.37
So in verse 7 they say...
00:23:30.85\00:23:32.49
That's like saying,
"But Ellen White says..."
00:23:35.97\00:23:39.49
Huh?
00:23:40.26\00:23:41.39
"If what You say is
right, how does that square with
00:23:51.24\00:23:55.62
what Moses said?
00:23:55.65\00:23:58.12
He said we could
write a bill of divorce
00:23:58.15\00:24:00.66
and send our wives away."
00:24:00.69\00:24:02.36
The passage they are referring
to is found in Deuteronomy 24:1,
00:24:03.43\00:24:07.53
which says, "If a man
marries a woman who becomes
00:24:07.56\00:24:11.76
displeasing to him because
he finds something indecent
00:24:11.79\00:24:17.68
about her and he writes
a certificate of divorce,
00:24:17.71\00:24:21.69
gives it to her and
sends her from his house."
00:24:21.72\00:24:26.11
That was the contentious phrase.
00:24:26.14\00:24:29.25
Now there were two schools
of interpretation for this text.
00:24:30.88\00:24:34.05
And the specific difference
centered around how the
00:24:34.80\00:24:39.30
phrase, "something
indecent," was interpreted
00:24:39.33\00:24:43.16
and which part of the
verse itself was emphasized.
00:24:43.19\00:24:47.35
In the two schools of
thought, one was followed by
00:24:48.34\00:24:52.66
the Rabbi Shammai
which emphasized the
00:24:52.76\00:24:56.27
second portion of the
text and understood the phrase,
00:24:56.30\00:24:59.48
"something indecent," to
mean unchastity or adultery.
00:24:59.51\00:25:04.56
There was a saying among
those who followed Shammai
00:25:05.53\00:25:08.81
that a woman could be
as mischievous as Jezebel,
00:25:09.11\00:25:13.97
but as long as she
did not commit adultery
00:25:14.39\00:25:17.21
she could not be put away.
00:25:17.24\00:25:18.82
This was the school of
thought that Joseph followed
00:25:20.53\00:25:23.67
when he was trying to
put Mary away quietly.
00:25:23.70\00:25:27.38
Not on Facebook.
00:25:27.79\00:25:29.56
But quietly after
discovering she was pregnant
00:25:31.56\00:25:35.48
before their marriage.
00:25:35.51\00:25:37.54
But Hillel, Rabbi Hillel,
emphasized the first part
00:25:38.71\00:25:43.35
of the text which
says, "If a woman becomes
00:25:43.38\00:25:46.51
displeasing to him."
00:25:46.54\00:25:48.46
And of course, that displeasure
became almost anything
00:25:49.43\00:25:52.91
her husband disliked.
00:25:53.28\00:25:54.95
And here are
some of the reasons.
00:25:55.15\00:25:56.70
If she spoiled his dinner.
00:25:56.92\00:25:59.10
If she went out
with unbound hair.
00:26:00.62\00:26:03.49
If she spoke to
men in the streets.
00:26:04.24\00:26:06.59
If she spoke
disrespectfully to his parents.
00:26:07.54\00:26:10.26
If she was an argumentative
woman whose voice could be
00:26:10.43\00:26:13.60
heard in the next house.
00:26:13.63\00:26:15.54
Some of you brothers are wishing
that was still in place today.
00:26:17.48\00:26:20.64
The Rabbi Akiva went as
far as to say that a man could
00:26:25.00\00:26:28.41
divorce his wife if
he found another woman
00:26:28.44\00:26:30.95
whom he liked better and
considered more beautiful.
00:26:30.98\00:26:34.64
Interesting how the
wife could be divorced
00:26:36.58\00:26:38.81
for talking to
another man in the street
00:26:38.84\00:26:40.81
while the husband
could find another wife
00:26:40.84\00:26:43.66
who pleased him
more, and divorce his wife.
00:26:43.69\00:26:47.56
In the Jewish law, the
husband could only be divorced
00:26:48.29\00:26:51.99
with his consent, while the wife
could be divorced without hers.
00:26:52.02\00:26:58.01
So these were the two
contending views of divorce
00:26:59.44\00:27:02.12
that obtained in Christ's day.
00:27:02.15\00:27:03.97
And we can surmise
which of these two concepts
00:27:04.23\00:27:07.35
was more popular and
more frequently practiced.
00:27:07.38\00:27:10.96
And the pattern
practiced in Christ's day
00:27:11.81\00:27:14.30
continues to
obtain until this day.
00:27:14.33\00:27:16.94
It is one of the reasons
why when men are unfaithful
00:27:16.97\00:27:20.00
and women tend to stay
with the unfaithful husbands,
00:27:20.03\00:27:22.85
while the reverse usually is
uncommon and does not happen.
00:27:22.88\00:27:27.26
But the real issue that I want
to raise is how marriages today
00:27:28.53\00:27:32.76
are understood and interpreted
through the lens of divorce;
00:27:32.79\00:27:39.17
what God neither
created nor ever intended.
00:27:40.04\00:27:43.59
It is through this lens that we
understand and analyze divorce.
00:27:43.62\00:27:50.56
We have reversed the
process God created when He
00:27:50.76\00:27:55.05
instituted marriage in Eden.
00:27:55.08\00:27:57.43
We spend too little
time in deciding to marry
00:27:58.49\00:28:02.70
and too much time in deciding
how to get out of marriage.
00:28:02.73\00:28:08.44
We make the decision to
marry too hastily and too easy.
00:28:09.68\00:28:15.07
And what we use to
keep marriages together
00:28:17.20\00:28:19.70
is the deterrent to divorce.
00:28:19.73\00:28:21.83
We use a negative to
advance the positive.
00:28:21.86\00:28:25.50
It's like serving God,
not because you love Him,
00:28:25.53\00:28:28.25
but because you want
to avoid going to hell.
00:28:28.28\00:28:31.20
And the
Pharisees, of all people,
00:28:34.52\00:28:36.02
should have known better.
00:28:36.05\00:28:37.35
The Jewish word for
marriage is, kiddushin.
00:28:37.85\00:28:40.83
It means
sanctification, consecration.
00:28:40.86\00:28:43.84
It means, something dedicated to
God as His peculiar possession.
00:28:43.87\00:28:49.25
That's what marriage means.
00:28:49.28\00:28:51.95
If someone should have
been upholding the principles
00:28:52.97\00:28:55.44
of marriage
established by God in Eden,
00:28:55.47\00:28:58.63
of all people it should
have been the Pharisees;
00:28:58.83\00:29:01.45
the leaders of the
church, the interpreters and
00:29:01.48\00:29:03.84
arbiters of the law.
00:29:03.87\00:29:05.09
But instead of
advocating God's original plan,
00:29:05.12\00:29:08.56
their motive is to trap Jesus.
00:29:08.59\00:29:10.98
And whenever we are
motivated by devious means,
00:29:11.78\00:29:15.26
it distorts our spiritual
discernment and understanding.
00:29:15.29\00:29:19.23
The Pharisees think they
have backed Jesus into a corner.
00:29:20.97\00:29:24.20
For Him to side with Shammai
would call His involvement
00:29:25.14\00:29:30.78
with the publicans
and sinners into question,
00:29:30.81\00:29:33.35
which the conservative Shammai
certainly disapproved of.
00:29:34.15\00:29:37.82
But to side with Hillel
would be to side with the
00:29:37.85\00:29:41.03
lax interpretation that
would disadvantage women.
00:29:41.06\00:29:44.95
Jesus follows neither.
00:29:46.69\00:29:49.11
Jesus never came to follow men.
00:29:49.78\00:29:53.22
He came to see whether
or not men would follow Him.
00:29:53.98\00:29:57.90
Jesus will not allow
this moment to be wasted
00:29:58.67\00:30:02.93
through bickering
and one-upmanship.
00:30:02.96\00:30:05.68
He will seize the
moment to promote God's ideal.
00:30:05.71\00:30:10.19
He says in verse 8,
"Moses permitted you
00:30:10.64\00:30:13.55
to divorce your wives
because your hearts were hard."
00:30:13.58\00:30:18.25
The New Living Translation
says, "Hard-hearted wickedness."
00:30:19.32\00:30:24.07
This issue of divorce for
any reason was not about Moses.
00:30:25.10\00:30:31.60
It's about you and
your unwillingness to submit
00:30:31.88\00:30:35.95
to the will of God.
00:30:35.98\00:30:37.13
Your stiff-necked,
hard-hearted wickedness.
00:30:37.16\00:30:41.37
Won't admit your sin.
00:30:41.76\00:30:43.58
And on top of everything else,
trying to blame Moses for it.
00:30:43.83\00:30:47.67
And we do that all the time.
00:30:49.28\00:30:51.08
Always asking
somebody to give you clearance
00:30:51.57\00:30:56.30
to do what you want to do.
00:30:56.62\00:30:58.21
And then when someone
questions you about it,
00:30:58.24\00:31:00.94
blame them for
allowing you to do it.
00:31:00.97\00:31:04.30
"Well Pastor so and so said..."
00:31:06.03\00:31:08.59
"Well I went to
the conference divorce
00:31:10.09\00:31:11.89
and remarriage committee."
00:31:11.92\00:31:13.69
Or we blame Dr. Phil.
00:31:15.62\00:31:17.73
Or Dr. Laura.
00:31:18.34\00:31:19.96
Or whatever other doctor
that you consult as authority.
00:31:21.08\00:31:25.43
Everybody but Dr. Jesus.
00:31:25.46\00:31:28.66
The wise man
says in Proverbs 19:3,
00:31:30.86\00:31:33.29
"People ruin their lives
by their own foolishness,
00:31:33.32\00:31:36.35
and then are angry at the Lord."
00:31:36.38\00:31:39.47
Jesus says, "Moses
is not the problem.
00:31:41.05\00:31:44.07
You are the problem.
00:31:44.10\00:31:45.92
Your hearts are the problem."
00:31:45.95\00:31:48.42
But it was not always
that way from the beginning.
00:31:49.47\00:31:52.73
What the beginning
was is Adam and Eve.
00:31:52.76\00:31:55.56
That's the beginning.
00:31:55.59\00:31:56.62
God never intended divorce.
00:31:56.65\00:31:58.91
Moses allowed divorce because
of human hard-heartedness.
00:32:00.64\00:32:05.32
Divorce is a human
creation, a result of sin.
00:32:05.35\00:32:08.67
Don't put this mess on God.
00:32:08.77\00:32:11.22
Malachi 2:16 says
God hates divorce.
00:32:14.15\00:32:18.48
God never intended divorce.
00:32:19.17\00:32:21.44
I'm sick and tired of
people who think they can jump
00:32:21.47\00:32:26.40
in and out of marriage
like jumping Double Dutch.
00:32:26.43\00:32:30.06
Marriage was established by
God, and it is indissoluble.
00:32:33.41\00:32:38.97
It cannot be dissolved.
00:32:39.53\00:32:41.62
Why is it indissoluble?
00:32:41.65\00:32:43.26
Because God has joined it.
00:32:43.36\00:32:45.60
And what God has joined, no
man, no woman, can separate.
00:32:45.63\00:32:50.35
Since when does a judge have
jurisdiction over what God says?
00:32:53.07\00:32:58.73
Can a man dissolve
what God has established?
00:32:59.29\00:33:01.99
That's the argument we use
to challenge the change of the
00:33:02.57\00:33:05.11
Sabbath to Sunday.
00:33:05.14\00:33:06.64
Huh?
00:33:07.15\00:33:08.21
We challenge the Roman church's
right to change the Sabbath,
00:33:08.99\00:33:12.30
and call it the antichrist
for presuming to change
00:33:12.33\00:33:15.60
what God has established.
00:33:15.63\00:33:17.37
They have no authority.
00:33:17.40\00:33:18.67
So how is it that we
don't understand that when it
00:33:19.26\00:33:23.46
come to changing marriage?
00:33:23.49\00:33:25.79
One of the two institutions
established in Eden before sin.
00:33:26.20\00:33:30.67
Oh, y'all getting
kind of quiet now.
00:33:32.39\00:33:34.21
Yet when it comes to divorce,
we are ready to disregard
00:33:35.81\00:33:39.81
God's dictum for
human hard-heartedness.
00:33:39.84\00:33:43.53
Divorce is a human creation.
00:33:45.75\00:33:47.73
A human institution created
to accommodate humanities
00:33:47.76\00:33:53.96
unwillingness to
submit to God's plan.
00:33:53.99\00:33:57.31
Divorce is not morally neutral.
00:33:57.34\00:34:00.29
It evidences the
entrance of sin and the
00:34:02.50\00:34:05.90
hard-heartedness of the heart.
00:34:05.93\00:34:07.60
The Pharisees are
focused on the wrong issue.
00:34:07.63\00:34:10.63
They are focused on Moses'
prescription and not God's
00:34:10.66\00:34:14.75
original intention.
00:34:14.78\00:34:16.42
Moses' corrective,
not God's preventive.
00:34:16.82\00:34:20.19
Jesus says this was
never God's intention.
00:34:20.22\00:34:24.08
Hence He discusses the
issue of divorce in the
00:34:26.24\00:34:28.21
context of human initiative.
00:34:28.24\00:34:30.10
Look at how He puts it.
00:34:30.20\00:34:31.28
He continues, "I tell you that
anyone who divorces his wife
00:34:31.31\00:34:35.42
except for sexual
immorality, and marries another
00:34:35.52\00:34:43.68
commits adultery."
00:34:44.37\00:34:46.56
The gospel of
Mark, Mark 10:12 adds,
00:34:47.01\00:34:50.09
"And if she divorces her
husband and marries another man,
00:34:50.12\00:34:54.17
she commits adultery."
00:34:54.20\00:34:56.41
Jesus' reference in Mark about
a woman divorcing her husband
00:34:57.18\00:35:00.52
was not a part
of the Jewish law.
00:35:00.81\00:35:02.46
It was the right of a
woman under Gentile law.
00:35:02.49\00:35:05.24
So this statement, Jesus
is addressing all marriages;
00:35:05.34\00:35:09.94
Christian and non-Christian,
sacred and secular.
00:35:09.97\00:35:13.78
Jesus is saying that
because of easy divorces
00:35:13.81\00:35:17.95
people no longer
take marriage seriously.
00:35:17.98\00:35:21.51
The position of divorce
that Jesus promotes is stronger
00:35:23.76\00:35:28.36
than the understanding that came
from both schools of thought.
00:35:28.39\00:35:32.57
Because Jesus begins from
the original intent of marriage
00:35:32.60\00:35:37.24
that nothing should
dissolve the relationship.
00:35:37.27\00:35:40.76
And it was clear that
it was understood that way
00:35:40.86\00:35:45.69
from the
reaction of the disciples.
00:35:45.72\00:35:47.62
Listen to their
response in verse 10.
00:35:47.65\00:35:49.87
They got the message.
00:35:58.13\00:35:59.39
"This marriage thing is
a lot more serious with God
00:36:01.52\00:36:03.72
than we realized."
00:36:03.75\00:36:04.95
Not something to stumble into.
00:36:06.53\00:36:08.56
Not something to do on a whim.
00:36:09.89\00:36:11.42
Not something to do after
a whirlwind weekend fling.
00:36:11.45\00:36:15.56
Run off to Las
Vegas and get married.
00:36:17.12\00:36:19.27
And the disciples
response reveals their selfish
00:36:22.20\00:36:24.73
view of marriage.
00:36:24.76\00:36:25.79
Marriage to them was about
what they could get out of it.
00:36:25.82\00:36:30.11
As long as they, as
men, had the upper hand
00:36:30.14\00:36:34.23
and didn't have to give
anything or make themselves
00:36:34.26\00:36:36.95
vulnerable to
someone, it was a good deal.
00:36:36.98\00:36:40.06
"If I cannot get the
advantage, if marriage does not
00:36:41.10\00:36:44.47
work for me, it's not worth
the trouble of engaging in."
00:36:44.50\00:36:47.91
Selfishness can never be the
driving force behind marriage.
00:36:49.59\00:36:52.87
"If it's not what I can get..."
00:36:52.90\00:36:55.46
"It has to be
about what I can give."
00:36:55.78\00:36:58.52
We have these twisted
ideas that have poisoned
00:36:59.92\00:37:03.08
the marriage institution.
00:37:03.11\00:37:04.49
"I'm getting married to someone
who can take care of me."
00:37:04.52\00:37:08.08
"I'm getting married to
someone who will please me."
00:37:08.93\00:37:11.73
"I'm getting married to
someone who will advance me."
00:37:11.76\00:37:14.67
That's not the
principle Jesus is establishing.
00:37:14.70\00:37:17.96
And Jesus' response
does not ease the position.
00:37:20.31\00:37:23.42
He says in verse 12, "Not
everyone can accept this word."
00:37:23.45\00:37:27.87
In other words, the institution
of marriage that God established
00:37:28.17\00:37:32.39
is not for everyone.
00:37:32.42\00:37:35.39
If you have this concept
that you can jump in and out of
00:37:37.72\00:37:41.22
marriage if it doesn't
work, or change partners,
00:37:41.25\00:37:44.49
or swap mates, or go
on a website and plan
00:37:44.52\00:37:48.45
adulterous liaisons,
marriage is not for you.
00:37:48.65\00:37:53.83
Stay single.
00:37:53.86\00:37:55.48
Then He concludes, "...but
only those to whom it is given."
00:37:59.37\00:38:03.80
So then, who is marriage for?
00:38:06.15\00:38:08.82
Who does Jesus
direct this counsel to?
00:38:10.10\00:38:12.20
In Matthew 13:10-17,
Jesus' popularity begins to wane
00:38:13.34\00:38:20.71
when He begins to
establish His earthly kingdom.
00:38:20.74\00:38:25.00
And beginning in chapter
18 of Matthew, Jesus' ministry
00:38:25.23\00:38:28.83
moves from a
general message to all Jews
00:38:28.86\00:38:32.22
to a specific message to those
who claim to be His followers.
00:38:32.25\00:38:37.10
From those in leadership
who presume to represent Him
00:38:38.16\00:38:41.29
to those that call
themselves His disciples
00:38:41.32\00:38:45.13
who presume to follow Him.
00:38:45.16\00:38:47.23
His expectations
are greater for them.
00:38:47.46\00:38:50.33
He told His disciples in
Matthew 13 that the reason
00:38:50.36\00:38:53.60
He taught in parables was
because everyone could not
00:38:53.63\00:38:56.99
receive the full
implications of His message.
00:38:57.02\00:39:01.18
So He says they have eyes
and ears, but they cannot do
00:39:01.70\00:39:07.34
and cannot see.
00:39:07.37\00:39:09.45
Our human
tendency is to only hear
00:39:10.06\00:39:14.46
what we are willing to receive.
00:39:15.15\00:39:17.35
So we accept what
falls in line with our agenda
00:39:18.70\00:39:24.05
and dismiss what does not.
00:39:24.08\00:39:26.02
Jesus expected that
from all the masses,
00:39:27.30\00:39:30.30
from those who followed
Him for the fishes and loaves.
00:39:30.88\00:39:33.90
The prosperity group
who's looking for a hundred fold
00:39:34.00\00:39:37.16
return on the
things of this world
00:39:37.19\00:39:39.13
that they believe
they've given up for Jesus.
00:39:39.45\00:39:41.42
For the name
it, claim it, group.
00:39:41.45\00:39:43.42
The kind of believers who
crave the goodies that the
00:39:43.70\00:39:46.40
devil can
duplicate and counterfeit.
00:39:46.43\00:39:48.47
But for His disciples,
the ones He calls His friends,
00:39:49.41\00:39:53.90
those who are
willing to follow Jesus
00:39:53.93\00:39:56.45
and receive the same
treatment that He received,
00:39:56.48\00:40:00.71
who understand that the servant
is no greater than his master,
00:40:02.25\00:40:05.33
and who expect
the same treatment
00:40:05.36\00:40:10.42
and misfortune as their master,
00:40:10.52\00:40:12.73
His message about
marriage is for them.
00:40:12.76\00:40:16.33
You see, beloved,
the gospel is redemptive
00:40:18.19\00:40:21.93
and is intended to
reverse the fallen order,
00:40:21.96\00:40:25.13
to reverse the
curse and power of sin.
00:40:25.16\00:40:27.63
In Christ we are new creations.
00:40:27.66\00:40:29.81
The old passes away
and the new has begun.
00:40:29.84\00:40:32.62
I know this is a
hard word for some people.
00:40:32.65\00:40:35.75
And Jesus knows
it's a hard word.
00:40:36.98\00:40:39.33
That's why He said all
men will not accept it.
00:40:39.56\00:40:43.81
When we impose our own
interpretations of marriage,
00:40:47.14\00:40:49.93
we reveal our
inability and unwillingness
00:40:49.96\00:40:52.98
to accept God's Word.
00:40:53.01\00:40:54.44
Whether they are hetero
or homosexually motivated.
00:40:57.65\00:41:03.02
Jesus' grounds for marriage
is that those who are totally
00:41:05.87\00:41:09.52
committed and
totally surrendered to Christ
00:41:09.55\00:41:12.53
are the only ones
who can receive it.
00:41:12.56\00:41:14.63
I'm not talking
about nominal Christians
00:41:17.52\00:41:19.82
who have a bumper
sticker on their car that says,
00:41:20.36\00:41:22.40
"Honk if you love Jesus."
00:41:22.43\00:41:24.24
True Christian marriage
requires a greater sacrifice
00:41:25.34\00:41:29.98
than many of us
today are willing to make.
00:41:30.01\00:41:33.29
Before Adam was
ready to get married,
00:41:35.33\00:41:37.80
he had to go through a process.
00:41:38.11\00:41:40.03
And that process took time.
00:41:40.06\00:41:41.90
In the preparation process,
00:41:42.28\00:41:44.33
many of us are not
willing to take time.
00:41:45.54\00:41:48.99
We think time is our enemy.
00:41:49.80\00:41:51.27
Time is our friend.
00:41:51.30\00:41:53.16
Why do people
rush into marriage?
00:41:55.24\00:41:57.39
We have this idea that
we can never hear anything
00:41:58.78\00:42:01.98
or any questions or challenges.
00:42:02.01\00:42:04.22
Why?
00:42:04.25\00:42:05.56
If it's real, why can't
anyone question you about it?
00:42:06.22\00:42:09.51
I hear sometimes people say
they don't want to hear anything
00:42:11.51\00:42:14.17
negative about the person.
00:42:14.20\00:42:15.66
Why not?
00:42:15.69\00:42:17.03
What are you afraid of?
00:42:17.63\00:42:19.19
That you'll learn
the truth about them?
00:42:19.22\00:42:21.23
God takes Adam through a process
to prepare him for marriage.
00:42:25.12\00:42:28.06
He has Adam
name all the animals.
00:42:28.09\00:42:29.65
And in that process,
Adam begins to understand
00:42:29.68\00:42:32.00
what it means to be in a
relationship with another
00:42:32.03\00:42:34.55
person who is his equal.
00:42:34.58\00:42:35.92
He begins to realize that
it require mutual surrender,
00:42:35.95\00:42:38.90
the kind of surrender
that he has already experienced
00:42:38.93\00:42:41.50
in his relationship with God.
00:42:41.53\00:42:42.95
And after this process, he
becomes suitable for marriage
00:42:42.98\00:42:46.26
and ready to receive a wife,
whoever God chooses for him.
00:42:46.29\00:42:51.16
Not who he wants, but
who God chooses for him.
00:42:52.30\00:42:56.09
So what process have you
man, you woman, gone through
00:42:59.21\00:43:03.21
in preparation for the
compliment God has for you?
00:43:03.24\00:43:06.54
In order for Eve to be
created, Adam had to surrender
00:43:08.80\00:43:11.98
a part of
himself in the process.
00:43:12.01\00:43:14.60
Admittedly, God did not consult
him, but put him to sleep.
00:43:15.76\00:43:19.45
And in a very real
sense, his sleeping during the
00:43:21.58\00:43:24.36
creative process was a
form of complete surrender.
00:43:24.39\00:43:28.54
You know, marriage like no other
human to human relationship
00:43:30.24\00:43:33.86
requires the death of self
in order to truly become like
00:43:33.89\00:43:40.33
the original relationship God
created in the Garden of Eden.
00:43:40.36\00:43:44.44
Ephesians 5:21 says husbands
and wives are suppose to submit
00:43:44.47\00:43:48.85
one to the other out
of reverence for Christ.
00:43:48.88\00:43:51.92
This is why marrying a
Christian is so important.
00:43:51.95\00:43:56.18
Are you hearing me today?
00:43:57.38\00:43:58.85
A Christian.
00:43:58.88\00:44:00.22
Because the marital relationship
requires total submission
00:44:00.94\00:44:04.53
and total
surrender to one another.
00:44:04.56\00:44:06.42
And we learn how to
submit to one another by first
00:44:06.45\00:44:10.38
learning how to
submit and surrender totally
00:44:10.41\00:44:13.82
to Jesus Christ.
00:44:13.85\00:44:16.24
Every other religion
promotes individualism;
00:44:19.08\00:44:21.84
the promotion of
self, self control,
00:44:21.87\00:44:24.27
and self discipline.
00:44:24.30\00:44:25.73
But it is not the
Christian experience.
00:44:26.43\00:44:28.93
Discipline comes from
the same root as disciple.
00:44:29.28\00:44:32.85
And the requirement of
becoming Christ's disciple
00:44:32.95\00:44:35.58
is self denial.
00:44:35.61\00:44:37.54
Luke 9:23 says to become
Christ's disciple, you must be
00:44:38.95\00:44:42.08
willing to deny self, take
up your cross, and follow Him.
00:44:42.11\00:44:45.82
The discipline of
Christianity is the discipline
00:44:46.36\00:44:48.87
of self surrender,
the renunciation of self,
00:44:48.90\00:44:51.59
the death of self.
00:44:51.62\00:44:53.22
And marriage, in order
to be successful, requires
00:44:56.41\00:45:00.04
mutual submission
and mutual surrender;
00:45:00.07\00:45:02.32
first to Christ and
then to one another.
00:45:02.45\00:45:04.70
It is why the requirement
of marriage is to leave
00:45:04.73\00:45:07.67
father and mother and
cleave to one another.
00:45:07.70\00:45:10.63
There can be no dual
submission to your spouse
00:45:10.66\00:45:14.06
and to your family.
00:45:14.09\00:45:15.47
Think about this.
00:45:17.10\00:45:18.33
When Jesus speaks about
our relationship with Him,
00:45:18.54\00:45:20.95
He says that it brings
division in the human family.
00:45:20.98\00:45:23.87
Father against son,
mother against daughter,
00:45:23.90\00:45:27.50
folds in your own household.
00:45:27.53\00:45:29.53
Why this division?
00:45:29.83\00:45:31.27
Because if Christ is
not first in your life,
00:45:31.30\00:45:34.23
you cannot be in
relationship with Him.
00:45:34.26\00:45:36.86
He will not share you with
anyone, not even your family.
00:45:36.89\00:45:41.06
Now I'm not suggesting that you
should disrespect your family,
00:45:43.03\00:45:46.16
because the fifth
commandment says that we
00:45:46.19\00:45:48.16
must honor our parents.
00:45:48.19\00:45:49.32
So I'm not saying that you
should disregard or disrespect
00:45:49.36\00:45:52.52
or dishonor your
family, or ignore their counsel.
00:45:52.55\00:45:55.16
Because remember, the kind
of leadership that Jesus calls
00:45:55.19\00:45:58.68
His disciples to
follow is servant leadership.
00:45:58.71\00:46:01.69
But hear me
when I tell you this,
00:46:02.85\00:46:05.02
your spouse will never fully
surrender themselves to you
00:46:05.58\00:46:09.98
if they believe that you
have not left your family.
00:46:10.01\00:46:14.85
When you hold yourself back and
reserve a portion of yourself
00:46:17.52\00:46:20.83
to your family,
that withholding creates
00:46:20.86\00:46:23.88
distrust in the relationship.
00:46:23.91\00:46:26.11
The Bible says that in
order for the two to become one,
00:46:26.14\00:46:29.89
you have to leave your family
and cleave to your spouse.
00:46:29.92\00:46:34.42
The two processes cannot
be handled simultaneously.
00:46:36.96\00:46:41.28
Plato had this
idea about humans.
00:46:42.51\00:46:45.49
He created the legend
that the original human beings
00:46:45.79\00:46:48.63
were double of
what they are now.
00:46:48.66\00:46:50.94
And the legend said because
of their size and strength,
00:46:50.97\00:46:54.68
it made them arrogant.
00:46:55.39\00:46:56.47
And so the gods
cut them in halves.
00:46:56.50\00:46:59.67
And he said real
happiness could only be made
00:46:59.87\00:47:02.50
when the two halves
found each other again,
00:47:02.53\00:47:05.80
married, and
completed each other.
00:47:06.32\00:47:08.96
Sounds so romantic, doesn't it.
00:47:10.31\00:47:12.78
But that's not God's plan.
00:47:14.35\00:47:16.01
God's plan is better.
00:47:17.43\00:47:18.89
It's not haphazard like
some endless search to find
00:47:19.78\00:47:23.75
your better
half, some soul mate.
00:47:23.78\00:47:26.97
In many ways, God's process
is that process in reverse.
00:47:27.85\00:47:32.32
God takes two
wholes and challenges them
00:47:32.35\00:47:36.60
to lose themselves to
each other and for each other,
00:47:36.80\00:47:40.91
to create one new
whole being in marriage.
00:47:41.21\00:47:44.72
The two shall no longer be
two persons, but one flesh.
00:47:44.75\00:47:49.58
Two becoming one certainly
has a physical component
00:47:49.61\00:47:55.91
that is externally exhibited
in sexual consummation.
00:47:55.94\00:48:00.03
But that physical consummation
is only a reflection
00:48:00.06\00:48:03.67
of a holistic unity that
incorporates every aspect
00:48:03.70\00:48:09.06
of their being.
00:48:09.09\00:48:10.41
This is why sex
cannot come before marriage.
00:48:10.44\00:48:15.29
Because the union of marriage
requires a prior spiritual
00:48:17.69\00:48:21.66
and emotion and
social and character union
00:48:21.69\00:48:25.85
which sexual union is
suppose to consummate.
00:48:25.88\00:48:29.97
When sex comes in prematurely,
it distorts and distracts
00:48:31.13\00:48:35.87
and damages the union
that the other elements
00:48:35.90\00:48:42.72
are suppose to come before.
00:48:43.59\00:48:46.21
When sex happens, it releases
a chemical into the brain
00:48:47.16\00:48:50.72
that distorts
our ability to reason
00:48:50.75\00:48:52.90
and make sound judgments.
00:48:52.93\00:48:54.04
Did you know that?
00:48:54.07\00:48:55.20
A mere physical
union cheapens the impact
00:48:57.33\00:49:00.43
of sexual fulfillment.
00:49:00.67\00:49:02.24
I overheard two young women
talking about a friend of theirs
00:49:02.27\00:49:05.92
who had two
suitors for her marriage.
00:49:06.31\00:49:08.97
And she was having difficulty
deciding whom she was going to
00:49:09.55\00:49:13.57
choose, because one was
better than the other in bed.
00:49:13.60\00:49:17.84
She couldn't make a
good decision because
00:49:19.55\00:49:22.78
sex had distorted her
ability to make a God decision.
00:49:22.81\00:49:28.00
And that's our problem.
00:49:30.97\00:49:32.34
We want God to
bless us on our terms.
00:49:32.83\00:49:37.28
In marriage, God is
establishing a principle of
00:49:37.88\00:49:40.50
self renunciation, self denial.
00:49:40.53\00:49:43.47
We must be
willing to die to self.
00:49:44.35\00:49:47.96
If self remains, the
two will never become one.
00:49:47.99\00:49:50.89
You see, we live in a world
that preaches self promotion,
00:49:50.92\00:49:53.78
self fulfillment, independence
and personal freedom.
00:49:53.99\00:49:57.24
That's good Americanism.
00:49:57.27\00:49:58.62
It may work for democracy,
but it is not the principle
00:49:58.65\00:50:01.33
that marriage is founded on.
00:50:01.36\00:50:02.67
There is no such thing in
marriage as separate entities
00:50:02.70\00:50:06.19
that function independently.
00:50:06.22\00:50:07.98
Independence is
the reason for sin.
00:50:08.53\00:50:11.92
All of creation
operates cooperatively.
00:50:13.50\00:50:15.92
The Godhead operates on
consultation and agreement.
00:50:15.95\00:50:19.55
Yet husbands and wives
want to operate independently,
00:50:19.58\00:50:23.01
apart and
separate from each other.
00:50:23.04\00:50:25.07
If you want to
remain independent,
00:50:25.81\00:50:27.99
don't get married.
00:50:28.02\00:50:29.44
If you're a selfish person
who wants to have their own way,
00:50:34.83\00:50:37.49
"It's my way or the highway,"
00:50:37.52\00:50:38.77
don't get on the
marriage highway.
00:50:38.80\00:50:40.66
That concept has
no place in marriage.
00:50:43.41\00:50:45.13
It's not for everybody.
00:50:45.16\00:50:46.53
So then how
does anybody make it?
00:50:47.74\00:50:49.63
How could someone be successful?
00:50:49.66\00:50:51.52
After everything Jesus
said and taught His disciples
00:50:52.22\00:50:54.85
in the chapter, He gives
a secret for following the
00:50:54.88\00:50:57.85
principles that He
prescribed to His followers.
00:50:57.88\00:51:00.52
It's found in verse 26.
00:51:00.55\00:51:02.07
He says to them, "With
human beings this is impossible,
00:51:02.10\00:51:05.68
but with God all
things are possible."
00:51:05.71\00:51:09.70
Hey, beloved, I'm not up
here on some pedestal above you.
00:51:12.52\00:51:15.41
We're all in
this thing together.
00:51:16.34\00:51:18.28
I'm a sinner just
like you, saved by grace.
00:51:18.56\00:51:21.58
When the woman was
caught in adultery,
00:51:22.28\00:51:23.95
Jesus didn't condemn her.
00:51:23.98\00:51:25.58
He forgave her and
said, "Go and sin no more."
00:51:25.61\00:51:28.13
We can find forgiveness for our
past sins, whatever they are.
00:51:29.17\00:51:33.21
But God expects us to live
transformed lives in the future,
00:51:34.48\00:51:37.76
completely
surrendered to Jesus Christ.
00:51:38.26\00:51:40.51
Paul says, "To live is
Christ, to die is gain."
00:51:40.54\00:51:44.83
We can find
forgiveness and fulfillment
00:51:44.86\00:51:49.08
and power in our
futures with Christ.
00:51:49.28\00:51:52.01
God cleans the slate
and gives us a new future.
00:51:52.04\00:51:55.64
Thank God He's the
God of a second chance.
00:51:55.67\00:51:58.54
So whatever
you've done in the past,
00:52:00.58\00:52:02.87
God can give you
a clean slate today.
00:52:04.13\00:52:06.81
Last year around this
time, a few months after this,
00:52:10.39\00:52:15.55
2013, the US Open was
played at the Merion Golf Course
00:52:15.85\00:52:20.62
in Pinehurst, Pennsylvania.
00:52:20.65\00:52:22.67
It was very
significant because in 1950,
00:52:23.22\00:52:26.36
at that same golf course,
it was the time when Ben Hogan,
00:52:27.70\00:52:34.05
the great golfer,
made his comeback victory
00:52:34.69\00:52:37.70
from one of the greatest
moments in golf history.
00:52:38.76\00:52:41.62
Now Hogan is a great
player, so it really wasn't
00:52:41.65\00:52:44.71
a surprise that he won.
00:52:44.74\00:52:46.34
But what was surprising
was that eleven months earlier
00:52:46.54\00:52:51.52
he was in a near
fatal head on car collision
00:52:51.80\00:52:55.81
with a Greyhound bus
on a foggy Texas road.
00:52:56.24\00:53:02.14
When it happened, his
injuries were very severe.
00:53:04.16\00:53:07.55
A double fracture of his pelvis,
00:53:08.14\00:53:10.76
a fractured collarbone,
fractured left ankle,
00:53:10.94\00:53:14.25
chipped ribs,
near fatal blood clots.
00:53:14.49\00:53:18.46
A surgeon was
flown in from New Orleans
00:53:18.99\00:53:22.20
by U.S. Air Force planes.
00:53:22.40\00:53:24.77
He operated and worked
feverishly on Ben Hogan
00:53:25.84\00:53:28.71
and saved his life.
00:53:28.74\00:53:30.36
When it first happened,
they didn't even believe
00:53:33.21\00:53:36.52
that he could walk
again, much less play golf.
00:53:36.55\00:53:39.78
But Hogan went through
the painstaking process
00:53:41.96\00:53:44.35
of rehabilitating himself.
00:53:44.38\00:53:45.87
His wife working with him,
massaging and rubbing his legs.
00:53:45.90\00:53:50.30
He worked through, and it
was a heroic return to golf
00:53:50.33\00:53:54.32
when eleven months
later not only did he return,
00:53:54.35\00:53:59.33
but won the US Open.
00:53:59.43\00:54:01.62
And here's the
greatest part of the story.
00:54:03.37\00:54:05.47
When they got to the
wreckage and examined the damage
00:54:07.16\00:54:11.93
to the car, the steering
wheel had actually gone through
00:54:12.16\00:54:19.75
the driver side seat.
00:54:19.78\00:54:22.03
They didn't know how
Hogan survived the crash.
00:54:24.72\00:54:29.61
And so the examiners
looked through the records
00:54:30.37\00:54:33.48
to find out what
Hogan said happened.
00:54:33.72\00:54:36.46
And Ben Hogan said that
when he saw the bus coming
00:54:38.42\00:54:44.79
at his car, his first
instinct was to hurl his body
00:54:44.82\00:54:52.13
across his wife and protect
her body from the impact.
00:54:52.47\00:54:58.14
And because his first
instinct was to save his wife,
00:54:58.54\00:55:03.85
he saved his own life.
00:55:04.84\00:55:07.36
His first instinct...
00:55:11.60\00:55:13.26
...save his wife.
00:55:13.94\00:55:15.65
Saved his own life.
00:55:16.14\00:55:17.68
Oh my brothers and sisters,
00:55:20.10\00:55:22.41
is marriage that
important to you?
00:55:24.93\00:55:27.04
The person who
you might be saving
00:55:29.63\00:55:32.39
when you save your
marriage might be yourself.
00:55:32.78\00:55:38.21
Might be yourself.
00:55:40.26\00:55:41.66
Let's bow our heads and pray.
00:55:44.56\00:55:46.05
Father in heaven,
we are grateful today
00:55:48.12\00:55:52.08
for the tremendous gift
that You have given humanity;
00:55:53.50\00:55:58.39
the institution of marriage.
00:55:59.91\00:56:02.46
You gave it to us
before sin as a gift.
00:56:03.76\00:56:10.76
When You completed
Your work of creation,
00:56:12.34\00:56:14.84
You looked and You saw Adam,
and You said, "It is not good
00:56:14.87\00:56:21.39
for man to be alone."
00:56:22.66\00:56:24.70
And You made for him a helper,
00:56:26.29\00:56:28.78
one to compliment him.
00:56:29.69\00:56:31.85
And after You made his
wife, You said it was very good.
00:56:32.88\00:56:40.90
Today, Lord, it is our
desire to recapture that
00:56:42.48\00:56:48.50
paradise relationship.
00:56:48.53\00:56:50.67
But so much has
happened on this earth.
00:56:51.58\00:56:53.63
Sin has distorted marriage.
00:56:53.66\00:56:56.35
The devil has
placed so many counterfeits
00:56:56.97\00:57:00.23
in the place of marriage.
00:57:00.26\00:57:01.87
And so today, Lord,
we want to recapture
00:57:02.60\00:57:05.55
that blessed institution.
00:57:06.12\00:57:08.78
And we know that we
cannot do it ourselves.
00:57:09.31\00:57:11.63
We need Your power.
00:57:11.66\00:57:13.24
We need Your
Spirit, we need Your grace.
00:57:13.67\00:57:16.26
And so we surrender and
submit ourselves to You.
00:57:17.13\00:57:20.05
Whatever has
happened in the past, Lord,
00:57:20.56\00:57:22.48
we ask for Your forgiveness.
00:57:22.51\00:57:24.22
And we submit ourselves
and our relationship with You
00:57:24.78\00:57:27.48
to repair the
brokenness, the broken places
00:57:27.51\00:57:30.40
in our lives and
in our relationships.
00:57:30.75\00:57:33.23
Bless our marriages
and bless our homes.
00:57:33.65\00:57:36.13
And bless each
person here and each person
00:57:36.16\00:57:38.50
who hears this message,
that they will trust in You
00:57:38.53\00:57:43.09
and in what You can do for
our families and our lives.
00:57:43.57\00:57:46.81
For we ask it all
in Jesus' name, amen.
00:57:47.53\00:57:51.98