Hello, friends, and welcome to
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Three Angels
Broadcasting Network,
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Dare To Dream, series on the
basis of Foundation Of Faith.
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My name is Pastor John Lomacang.
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Thank you so much for tuning
into this important program.
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This is new to 3ABN but
if you've been watching,
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you've seen that God has blessed
us not only with 3ABN English,
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3ABN Latino, 3ABN
Russia, 3ABN Children, but also
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we have 3ABN
Dare To Dream network,
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which has been a tremendous
blessing under the direction of
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Dr. Yvonne Lewis.
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And tonight we
begin a new series
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with a very good friend of mine.
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I'm so thankful that
God has sent a speaker that
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not only am I excited
about listening to, but one that
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I do know personally.
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So for the next hour,
join us as God will reach out
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and touch your heart.
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I asked our speaker this night
what the title of his message is
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and he said it is
entitled, Boys To Men.
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Very interesting, I'm just
waiting to hear what the Lord
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is going to
deliver through that.
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But our speaker for this
series is Dr. Timothy Nixon.
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And I say Dr.
Timothy Nixon because he has
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accomplished much.
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He comes from a family
that believes not only in
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following the Lord,
but in Christian education.
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He is presently the
administrative chaplain
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at Andrews University.
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He attended Oakwood University,
also Andrews University.
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And at Andrews, he
received his MDiv in 1991.
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He's married, he loves
the Lord, he loves to preach,
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and he loves to uplift Jesus.
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But before we
introduce our music for tonight
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let me just say, I
know him personally.
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We grew up together.
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We attended Bethel
Seventh-day Adventist Church.
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I know his family very well.
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And we had a chance to
re-acquaint ourselves today.
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And I know that you are in
for a tremendous treat tonight.
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Before we introduce
our music for this series,
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I'd like for you to join me
as we invite the Lord's presence
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as we pray this night.
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Our gracious Father in heaven,
what a blessing it is to know
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that You are the
foundation of our faith.
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No other foundation can anyone
lay than that which is laid,
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which is Christ Jesus.
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Lord, send Your Holy Spirit to
anoint Your servant this night,
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Dr. Timothy Nixon.
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May You speak through
him, may You work on him.
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May Your voice be
heard through this vessel
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You've chosen this night.
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And Father, we give You
our hearts and we pray that
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when this message is done,
we will be drawn closer to You.
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We pray in Jesus' name, amen.
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A couple of years ago when
I was at Oakwood University
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for evangelism counsel,
there was a young man singing.
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And I took my IPad
and I videotaped his song.
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And I have since then shown this
song to so many individuals.
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And all I've said
was, "This young man knows
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how to minister through music."
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And I was surprised tonight when
I went behind in our green room
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and saw Brian Ezra Bates.
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He is an incredible
gospel artist and songwriter.
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Matter of fact, he was
featured in the fourth season of
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BET's Sunday Best and
was listed as one of the
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top 20
contestants of that season.
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He is also a
person who understands
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what it means to struggle.
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He's seen that in his life.
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But tonight, God has
brought him a mighty long way.
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And tonight he's
going to bless our hearts
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with the song, It Is Well.
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And after the song, the
next voice you will hear
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is that of Dr. Timothy Nixon.
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How can I say thanks
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for the things
You have done for me?
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Things so undeserved,
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still You gave to
prove Your love to me.
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The voices of a million angels
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could not express my gratitude.
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For all that I am
and ever hope to be,
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I owe it all to Thee.
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To God be the glory,
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to God be the glory,
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to God be the glory
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for the things He hath done.
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With His power He has saved me,
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by His power He has raised me.
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To God be the glory
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for the things He hath done.
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Just let me live my life
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and let it be
pleasing, Lord, to Thee.
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And if I should gain any praise,
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let it go to Calvary.
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Oh, to God be the glory,
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to God be the glory,
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to God be the glory
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for the things He
hath done, He hath done.
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Oh, to God be the glory,
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to God be the glory,
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to God be the glory
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for the things He hath done.
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He hath done.
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Thank you, Brian, for
that wonderful message in song.
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I'd like to thank the 3ABN
family and the Worship Center
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for this
opportunity to be with you.
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Good evening, everybody.
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It's good to be with
you tonight, this weekend.
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I want to talk a little
bit about relationships.
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And tonight, I want to
talk about men in relationships
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from the subject, Boys To Men.
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Let's begin with
a word of prayer.
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Father, as we open
Your Word tonight, we ask
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that Your Spirit
will speak to us.
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And we pray, Lord, that
now You will take full control.
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Let us learn from You
and let Christ be lifted up.
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For we ask it in
Jesus' name, amen.
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Black America Web
posted an article in September
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some years ago, titled,
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"Halle Berry Reaffirms
Her Anti-Marriage Views."
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It looked at her position
that she took years earlier
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on the Oprah Winfrey
Show that she would never
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marry again after
her husband, Eric Benét,
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had been unfaithful to her.
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And shortly after the
article, she was approached
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at an after party at the
Emmy Awards and was asked
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why she had come without a date.
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And she responded,
"I'm done with men.
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I'm going it alone.
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I have no luck in relationships.
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I don't think I'm
made for marriage."
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Well since that time she
has had a few relationships
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and two children out of wedlock.
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And the word is that she's
thinking about marrying again.
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But the desperate and hopeless
words of someone as famous
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and attractive as Halle
Berry gives us great pause.
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And I imagine
someone might be saying,
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"If Halle has problems with men,
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then what hope is there for me?"
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And my response to Halle
Berry and all women who seem
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frustrated and are about to
give up on all men is maybe,
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just maybe, you've been
having relationships with boys
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who look like men,
but not boys who are men.
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Every man is a male,
but every male is not a man.
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Come on help me, somebody.
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And what we have today
is a shortage of real men.
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It's men who have the ability to
change the attitude and outlook
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that women have of us.
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Why am I saying this?
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Because the Bible
says in Genesis 3:16,
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the woman's desire
will be to her husband.
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So no matter how
she feels about men,
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there is an innate
drawing that a woman has for the
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company of men.
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Whenever men and
women who are familiar with
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and who know each other,
when they come in contact with
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each other, a woman will
reflexably lean into a man.
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And an uninformed
brother will think that it's
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because of his charm
or masculine charisma
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that she's reacting that way.
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But it's not your
charm or your rap, brother.
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It's how God has
wired her for relationship.
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God has placed within them
a desire for the protection
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and covering and
sheltering of a man.
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And that's why they
are so vulnerable to the
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advances of men
and are sometimes
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easily taken advantage of.
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And what this means is
that a real man understands the
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responsibility they have in
protecting and respecting women.
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Men need real men.
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And what I want
to know tonight is,
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are there any
real men in the house?
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I thought I'd get a
little louder amen from the
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men here tonight.
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You see the reality is,
in every man there is a boy,
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and in every boy there is a man.
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And true manhood is not
losing your boyish nature,
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but controlling it.
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Listen to what I'm saying.
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True manhood is
having them in balance.
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I remember the first
time I realized that my father
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still had a lot of kid
in him when he challenged us
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to play basketball.
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You must understand that
I had never seen my father
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do anything athletic.
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Now, now, now, now
he did physical things.
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I saw him lift things,
I saw him carry things.
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I saw him pick up boxes
and trunks and push appliances.
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But I had never seen
him do anything athletic.
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And so, and so I remember my
brothers and I were telling him
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about one of our
friends who was a great
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superstar basketball player.
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At least we thought we was.
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He was a member of our church.
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And we would always talk
about his skills and abilities.
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And one day our father
said, "I can beat him."
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And we laughed at
our father, "You, you?
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What are you talking
about, you can beat him.
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You, you can beat him?"
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My father said,
"I can beat him."
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And he said, "I tell you what.
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This Sunday I'm coming to
the park and I'll play him.
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I'll call one of
my friends and we'll
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play a game of basketball."
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And we said,
"You must be crazy."
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We're laughing at him, you know.
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And so my father
called one of his friends,
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and he came down to
the park with his friends.
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And we called our
friend, my brothers.
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Of course my older brothers.
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I really watched.
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My older brothers
and our friend came.
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And my father
came with his friend.
00:14:04.15\00:14:07.15
And they ran my
brothers off the court.
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It was like that commercial,
you know, that Kyrie Irving
00:14:14.78\00:14:17.56
commercial where he puts
on make-up and looks like
00:14:17.59\00:14:19.93
that old man, Uncle Drew.
00:14:19.96\00:14:21.96
My father was
the real Uncle Drew.
00:14:21.99\00:14:24.08
It was embarrassing.
00:14:25.95\00:14:27.81
And that day on
the basketball court,
00:14:30.29\00:14:32.98
there was an exchange going on.
00:14:33.01\00:14:36.11
He was teaching us
how to be men, and we were
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reminding him how to be a boy.
00:14:39.56\00:14:42.44
You see, a man who
doesn't know how to lighten up
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can't make it.
00:14:46.99\00:14:48.64
If all of your life is
serious and full of problems
00:14:49.12\00:14:52.61
and stress, you can't make it.
00:14:53.65\00:14:56.21
You'll break.
00:14:56.24\00:14:57.78
You're like concrete
with no expansion joint in it.
00:14:58.72\00:15:02.26
You ever notice when you walk
on the pavement on the sidewalk
00:15:02.29\00:15:06.85
that every few
feet there's a gap?
00:15:06.95\00:15:09.03
It's there because
concrete needs room to expand
00:15:09.92\00:15:14.16
and extract during the heat.
00:15:14.19\00:15:15.89
It there's no room
there, it will crack.
00:15:15.92\00:15:18.64
And there's some
people like that.
00:15:19.48\00:15:21.17
They have no
room in their lives.
00:15:21.20\00:15:24.14
There's too much
pressure in their lives.
00:15:24.17\00:15:26.33
And because they don't know
how to laugh or joke or smile,
00:15:26.36\00:15:30.05
they crack.
00:15:30.08\00:15:31.64
So real men understand
that they have to have balance.
00:15:33.12\00:15:37.83
Every man must not
lose the boy in him.
00:15:37.86\00:15:41.39
But maturity is learning how to
live between the two polarities
00:15:41.42\00:15:47.88
of manhood and childhood.
00:15:48.33\00:15:50.54
Maturity is living in balance.
00:15:50.57\00:15:53.21
Are you listening to me tonight?
00:15:53.24\00:15:55.06
And I want to suggest to
you that the real problem
00:15:55.86\00:15:59.57
that men have in relationships
is not external, but internal.
00:15:59.60\00:16:04.15
And I want to examine
this through the life of David.
00:16:04.57\00:16:07.83
David is an important
character for us to examine,
00:16:08.72\00:16:12.20
because we get a
full spectrum of his life
00:16:12.23\00:16:15.80
from boyhood to
manhood, from kid to king.
00:16:16.01\00:16:20.85
And we see this struggle
that he has of living his life
00:16:20.88\00:16:25.51
in balance between
boyhood and manhood.
00:16:25.54\00:16:30.38
David is, in many
ways, the prototypical man,
00:16:31.55\00:16:35.85
the every man.
00:16:35.88\00:16:37.06
Every kind of situation
and experience is dramatically
00:16:37.09\00:16:41.36
revealed in the life of David.
00:16:41.39\00:16:44.51
We see him from his early
teens until his senior years.
00:16:45.11\00:16:49.04
We see him experience
his highs and his lows,
00:16:49.07\00:16:53.09
his peaks and his
valleys, his ups and his downs.
00:16:53.12\00:16:58.23
We see him as a
youth, a young adult,
00:16:58.76\00:17:02.73
an adult, and a senior.
00:17:02.76\00:17:05.67
We experience him as a son,
a brother, a friend, a husband,
00:17:06.07\00:17:10.93
a father, a grandfather.
00:17:10.96\00:17:13.08
And we trace his steps.
00:17:13.11\00:17:14.67
We see the full and
complete picture of him.
00:17:14.70\00:17:18.10
Not the sanitized,
guarded, propagandized picture,
00:17:18.13\00:17:22.68
but the complete
picture, warts and all.
00:17:22.71\00:17:25.84
And it's not
always a pretty picture.
00:17:25.87\00:17:28.72
Not always a pleasant picture,
not always a positive picture.
00:17:29.64\00:17:34.65
But it's a complete picture.
00:17:34.68\00:17:36.91
Before he's introduced to us,
his character is presented to us
00:17:39.20\00:17:43.76
in this text of
Scripture in 1 Samuel 13:14.
00:17:44.08\00:17:48.81
The Bible says...
00:17:48.84\00:17:50.00
What a phrase to use
in describing someone
00:17:56.85\00:18:00.40
before you meet them.
00:18:00.43\00:18:01.95
In our immediate assumption,
we assume that surely
00:18:03.13\00:18:07.85
such a person must have grown up
in the ideal family situation.
00:18:08.19\00:18:13.49
Surely he will have the
perfect parents and home life.
00:18:13.52\00:18:18.60
But God selects real
people with real families.
00:18:19.32\00:18:23.04
And so with those words
we are introduced to the saga
00:18:23.96\00:18:27.39
of David.
00:18:28.13\00:18:29.59
In 1 Samuel 8, Israel has
rejected God as their King
00:18:30.13\00:18:34.20
and wants a man instead.
00:18:34.71\00:18:36.96
Have mercy.
00:18:36.99\00:18:38.36
Saul is selected.
00:18:39.10\00:18:40.90
And he is described as
standing head and shoulders
00:18:40.93\00:18:44.42
above his
tribesmen from Benjamin.
00:18:44.45\00:18:46.63
He is tall and stately.
00:18:46.66\00:18:48.80
He has the physical
bearing of a king without its
00:18:49.39\00:18:52.02
spiritual compliment.
00:18:52.05\00:18:53.93
Saul's great flaw is
his inability to admit
00:18:54.57\00:18:58.65
that he has one.
00:18:58.68\00:19:00.37
He can never admit his
flaws or take responsibility
00:19:00.72\00:19:04.65
for his actions.
00:19:04.68\00:19:05.71
And so God tells His
prophet in 1 Samuel 16:1,
00:19:05.74\00:19:09.99
"How long will you mourn for
Saul since I have rejected him
00:19:10.02\00:19:14.36
from reigning over Israel?
00:19:14.39\00:19:16.02
Fill thy horn with oil and go.
00:19:16.05\00:19:18.89
I will send thee to
Jesse the Bethlehemite,
00:19:18.92\00:19:22.73
for I have provided Me
a king among his sons."
00:19:22.76\00:19:26.64
Samuel goes to the home of Jesse
and asks to see Jesse's sons.
00:19:27.42\00:19:31.48
God has told him,
"From among Jesse's sons
00:19:31.51\00:19:35.14
is My next king."
00:19:35.17\00:19:37.12
And we pick up
the scene in verse 6.
00:19:38.48\00:19:40.91
Samuel is judging
the value of a man
00:19:48.38\00:19:51.75
based on quantity, not quality.
00:19:51.78\00:19:56.04
What's on the
outside, not the inside.
00:19:56.69\00:20:00.29
1 Samuel 16:7...
00:20:01.46\00:20:03.23
God tells Samuel, "Stop
thinking two dimensional;
00:20:21.69\00:20:24.88
height and width on the outer.
00:20:24.91\00:20:26.95
But see three dimensional."
00:20:26.98\00:20:28.65
When you're looking at
a man, height and width,
00:20:30.18\00:20:33.11
all you see is the outward.
00:20:33.14\00:20:34.27
But see some depth.
00:20:34.30\00:20:36.29
Not just what's on the outside,
but what's on the inside.
00:20:37.19\00:20:41.30
One of the greatest
challenges of men is valuing the
00:20:43.35\00:20:46.00
inner man above the outer.
00:20:46.03\00:20:47.90
We are so caught
up on the physical;
00:20:49.16\00:20:51.16
our physique, our muscles.
00:20:51.42\00:20:53.40
Body building has
become a cottage industry.
00:20:53.90\00:20:56.85
And gyms all over
America, they're being filled up
00:20:56.88\00:20:59.72
with weight lifting
and pulling and stretching.
00:20:59.75\00:21:03.35
Huh?
00:21:03.38\00:21:04.41
P90X...
00:21:04.89\00:21:06.90
Come on talk to me, somebody.
00:21:07.56\00:21:09.15
...and six-pack abs
have become our vocabulary.
00:21:09.41\00:21:13.33
Don't look at me too hard.
00:21:13.36\00:21:14.91
But a two dimensional man will
never reach his full potential
00:21:16.43\00:21:19.89
and will never be the
man God is looking for.
00:21:19.92\00:21:24.16
Verse 8...
00:21:26.03\00:21:27.06
One of the few times
in Scripture when the
00:21:48.87\00:21:51.42
number seven is
neither perfect nor complete.
00:21:51.45\00:21:54.25
Then verse 11...
00:21:54.99\00:21:56.21
There remains another.
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God uses our leftovers.
00:22:12.23\00:22:14.99
What families
reject, God accepts.
00:22:15.35\00:22:19.23
Isn't it
interesting that God's selection
00:22:19.40\00:22:22.72
never seems to
quite fit men's criteria.
00:22:22.75\00:22:27.80
Verse 12...
00:22:29.59\00:22:31.09
So David comes in.
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He doesn't look like much.
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Good-looking, but young.
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Beautiful eyes, but not
a rugged he-man, per se.
00:22:51.96\00:22:55.93
But as he enters the
room God tells Samuel,
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"That's My choice."
00:22:59.58\00:23:01.47
Verse 13...
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And while we celebrate
and glory in God's selection
00:23:16.21\00:23:20.84
of this young
man, my question is,
00:23:20.87\00:23:23.59
how does it feel
to be accepted by God
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but rejected by your family?
00:23:27.23\00:23:30.34
And more
specifically, how does it feel
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not to be seen as king
material by your own father?
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The one who's the most
important man in your life.
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How does it feel for him to
say, "You may be God's choice,
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but you're not my choice."
00:23:51.34\00:23:53.39
I want to park here for
a moment, because I believe
00:23:54.27\00:23:56.35
many men have the
problems they have with manhood
00:23:56.38\00:23:59.96
because of the dysfunctional
relationship they have
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with their fathers.
00:24:04.18\00:24:06.10
Dysfunctional; it
means, out of function
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or non-functional.
00:24:10.24\00:24:12.12
Dysfunctional relationships
they've had with their fathers.
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We are shaped by our homes.
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And in many homes today where
male children are being raised,
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there are absentee fathers.
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When I was growing up,
one of the popular songs
00:24:28.36\00:24:30.75
of the day was a
Temptation hit called,
00:24:30.78\00:24:33.22
Papa Was A Rolling Stone.
00:24:33.25\00:24:35.23
And the lyrics said it
all, "Papa was a rolling stone,
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wherever he laid
his hat was his home.
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And when he died, all
he left us was alone."
00:24:40.86\00:24:44.57
The absentee father has
shaped many of us as men.
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And it is not only
the physically absent.
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There are some who
are physically present
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and emotionally absent.
00:24:57.12\00:24:59.62
Some of you have never
cried in front of other people
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because you've never
seen your father cry.
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I'm afraid of a
man who can't cry.
00:25:06.34\00:25:09.18
You can holler,
you can cuss and fuss,
00:25:09.97\00:25:13.08
but you can't cry.
00:25:13.11\00:25:14.98
A legal father but
not a loving father.
00:25:16.69\00:25:19.38
Big on resources but
small on relationships.
00:25:19.41\00:25:23.12
They can give you
toys but not tenderness.
00:25:23.87\00:25:27.23
Now we must understand that
men have grown up, historically,
00:25:28.66\00:25:31.90
in the era of Gary Cooper.
00:25:31.93\00:25:34.21
He was the prototypical
man back in the 40's and 50's.
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The ideal man of every man
who never showed his emotions.
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They called him,
the strong silent type.
00:25:42.85\00:25:46.21
Somebody know
what I'm talking about?
00:25:46.31\00:25:47.59
I know I'm going
back a little bit now.
00:25:47.62\00:25:49.71
But it was considered
manly then not to show or share
00:25:51.87\00:25:54.98
your emotions,
the cinematic ideal.
00:25:55.01\00:25:57.76
And then he was
replaced by Clint Eastwood
00:25:57.79\00:26:00.77
in those spaghetti westerns.
00:26:00.80\00:26:03.19
The strong silent
hero who rode into town,
00:26:03.22\00:26:07.09
beat up or shot the desperados,
but never said a word,
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never showed emotions.
00:26:11.07\00:26:12.65
Just cool and calm.
00:26:12.68\00:26:14.53
Somebody know
what I'm talking about?
00:26:14.56\00:26:15.80
That was the perfect man.
00:26:16.60\00:26:18.03
And then that was
replaced with the TV father.
00:26:18.06\00:26:20.66
Father Knows
Best, and My Three Sons,
00:26:20.69\00:26:22.95
and Ozzie And
Harriet in the 60's.
00:26:22.98\00:26:24.50
And then Cliff
Huxtable in the 90's.
00:26:24.53\00:26:26.69
The perfect father who
always had the right answer.
00:26:26.72\00:26:29.85
Always had the
solution to every problem.
00:26:29.88\00:26:32.30
He always solved the
problem in a half an hour.
00:26:32.33\00:26:35.79
Huh?
00:26:37.54\00:26:38.63
And so many men are
caught between these two images
00:26:39.21\00:26:42.99
of the ideal man.
00:26:43.02\00:26:45.35
And some men, because
they could never measure up
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to this idealized
fictitious character, ran away
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from their responsibilities.
00:26:53.30\00:26:55.06
I'm not excusing him, I'm
just trying to explain him.
00:26:55.09\00:26:58.57
And so you can
understand the challenges
00:27:01.11\00:27:03.04
men have faced
and continue to face,
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and why your father
may not have been there.
00:27:04.96\00:27:07.08
David's father
was there physically,
00:27:07.47\00:27:11.20
but not emotionally.
00:27:11.23\00:27:12.90
He did not see David and see
in David what God saw in him.
00:27:14.14\00:27:18.92
And we don't know why.
00:27:18.95\00:27:20.16
Maybe David was
precocious and challenging.
00:27:20.19\00:27:22.97
So unlike his brothers,
his giftedness and uniqueness
00:27:23.17\00:27:27.01
was misunderstood by his father.
00:27:27.04\00:27:29.75
But it is clear that there
were some issues between David
00:27:30.60\00:27:35.34
and his father.
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And he seems to always be trying
to get his father's attention,
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his father's recognition,
his father's approval.
00:27:41.50\00:27:45.13
He was an overachiever.
00:27:46.66\00:27:48.91
Never seeming to do enough
to be celebrated by his father.
00:27:49.95\00:27:54.29
We see it when we are
first introduced to David
00:27:57.11\00:28:01.07
and his father, Jesse.
00:28:01.10\00:28:02.29
When Samuel the
prophet is sent to Jesse's home
00:28:02.32\00:28:05.50
to select the king
from among Jesse's sons,
00:28:05.53\00:28:08.09
the glaring omission in
the story is David's absence.
00:28:08.12\00:28:12.76
He was one of Jesse's
sons, why wasn't he there?
00:28:13.23\00:28:16.86
We are introduced to David
in the story by his absence.
00:28:17.90\00:28:22.01
Here's the greatest
challenge we have, men.
00:28:24.30\00:28:26.96
As much as we may hate our home,
the family situation that we are
00:28:27.37\00:28:32.75
brought up in and detest, the
dysfunction that we grew up in,
00:28:32.78\00:28:37.32
the reality is that we
become our environment.
00:28:37.35\00:28:42.41
The physical
abuser comes from a home
00:28:45.00\00:28:48.90
where he was a
physically abused.
00:28:48.93\00:28:52.32
Adultery breeds adulterers.
00:28:55.26\00:28:58.30
Absentee fathers
breed absentee sons.
00:29:00.25\00:29:04.39
Jacob was a liar and trickster
who deceived his brother
00:29:06.18\00:29:10.19
out of his
birthright and blessing.
00:29:10.22\00:29:11.84
But the trickery would
not end until Jacob's sons
00:29:11.87\00:29:15.68
tricked him when they sold
his favorite son into slavery
00:29:15.78\00:29:19.61
and deceived him into believing
that he had been killed
00:29:19.64\00:29:23.26
by wild animals.
00:29:23.29\00:29:24.95
Think about it.
00:29:25.16\00:29:26.62
Think about what
they did to Jacob.
00:29:27.00\00:29:28.79
To give him Joseph's
kente clothe coat of many colors
00:29:29.73\00:29:33.67
drenched in blood,
believing all those years
00:29:33.70\00:29:37.29
that you're responsible
for the death of your son
00:29:37.32\00:29:40.08
because he had sent him
out to find his brothers.
00:29:40.11\00:29:42.90
And then to find out
years later that he was alive.
00:29:42.93\00:29:45.51
What a cruel joke
and lie to their father.
00:29:45.54\00:29:49.00
But they had gotten it from him.
00:29:50.49\00:29:52.47
1 Corinthians 15:33 says bad
company corrupts good character.
00:29:56.02\00:30:00.42
When you lie down
with dogs, you get fleas.
00:30:00.45\00:30:03.52
So David is shaped
by this dysfunction.
00:30:06.32\00:30:08.70
This father who is present
and absent at the same time.
00:30:10.03\00:30:15.22
And it causes David
to constantly strive
00:30:15.25\00:30:17.56
to seek the approval of
other men, especially elder men.
00:30:17.59\00:30:21.27
He's looking for someone to fill
the void left by his father.
00:30:21.38\00:30:25.02
And it leads him into
this dysfunctional relationship
00:30:25.05\00:30:28.62
with Saul.
00:30:28.65\00:30:30.14
1 Samuel 16 verse 14...
00:30:32.22\00:30:35.00
So David, who
cannot please his father,
00:31:43.93\00:31:48.33
finds favor with the
nation's father, Saul.
00:31:49.23\00:31:54.11
And this is what
is important to note.
00:31:56.60\00:31:58.44
When a man does not
have a father in his life,
00:31:59.48\00:32:02.53
he will find
another father figure
00:32:02.56\00:32:05.77
to fill that male
void left by his father.
00:32:06.74\00:32:09.75
Sometimes it's his football
or basketball or baseball coach.
00:32:09.78\00:32:14.36
Sometimes it's a teacher
or supervisor on the job.
00:32:14.99\00:32:18.55
Sometimes it's a youth
pastor or guidance counselor
00:32:18.58\00:32:22.09
or an advisor in college.
00:32:22.12\00:32:23.71
Or sometimes it's a
gang or mafia leader.
00:32:23.74\00:32:27.16
You hearing what I'm saying?
00:32:27.95\00:32:29.44
But hear me when I tell you,
they will find some male figure
00:32:31.21\00:32:35.97
to fill the void left
by their absentee father,
00:32:36.00\00:32:40.28
whether absent
physically or emotionally.
00:32:40.31\00:32:44.27
And ladies, I know you may have
had a difficult relationship
00:32:46.47\00:32:50.33
with his father, he
may have mistreated you,
00:32:50.36\00:32:53.71
he may have abused you,
he may not be supporting you
00:32:53.74\00:32:56.81
financially, or
whatever the case may be.
00:32:56.84\00:32:59.25
He may not be a good father.
00:32:59.28\00:33:01.33
And I'm not giving
him a pass for shirking
00:33:01.53\00:33:03.61
his responsibilities.
00:33:03.64\00:33:05.08
But you do not do
your son a good service
00:33:05.78\00:33:08.82
by constantly running down
and bad-mouthing his father
00:33:08.85\00:33:13.62
and keeping him from his son.
00:33:13.65\00:33:15.58
Because if he does not
turn to his natural father,
00:33:15.61\00:33:19.83
he will find someone else.
00:33:20.25\00:33:22.90
And you will not
know who he finds.
00:33:22.93\00:33:25.37
And you won't be able
to choose who he finds.
00:33:25.40\00:33:28.29
And you may not
like who he finds.
00:33:28.32\00:33:32.24
Whatever bad things you
have to say about his father,
00:33:34.63\00:33:36.92
at least you chose him.
00:33:36.95\00:33:38.94
David chose Saul.
00:33:43.98\00:33:45.69
And we are thrust into
one of the most well known
00:33:48.19\00:33:50.44
dramas in all of history.
00:33:50.47\00:33:51.65
Even people who don't
read the Bible know the story
00:33:51.68\00:33:54.26
of David and Goliath.
00:33:54.53\00:33:56.10
They use it in all
kinds of sports dramas
00:33:57.48\00:34:01.57
about overmatched teams.
00:34:01.94\00:34:03.55
As a matter of fact, Malcolm
Gladwell has just used it
00:34:03.58\00:34:06.23
as the basis of his
latest story about underdogs
00:34:06.26\00:34:08.72
who overachieve; a
great giant against underdogs.
00:34:08.75\00:34:14.70
His name is Goliath,
and he's introduced to us
00:34:16.09\00:34:18.46
in 1 Samuel 17:4.
00:34:18.49\00:34:20.31
That's ten and a half feet tall.
00:34:27.67\00:34:29.78
That was Goliath's challenge.
00:35:08.61\00:35:10.24
It shook Israel to its
knees with fear and dismay.
00:35:10.27\00:35:14.19
And out of the rubbles of
this perplexing situation,
00:35:14.83\00:35:18.08
David emerges as
the champion who will
00:35:18.11\00:35:20.79
represent
Israel against Goliath.
00:35:20.82\00:35:22.78
And I don't have time
to read all about that.
00:35:23.24\00:35:25.59
But David dramatically
slays Goliath with a slingshot.
00:35:26.59\00:35:29.61
Take some time
to read it yourself.
00:35:32.30\00:35:34.01
In 1 Samuel 17,
remember now, that God said
00:35:34.92\00:35:39.05
He looks on the inner
qualities for His champion.
00:35:39.08\00:35:41.98
And the problem comes in the
relationship with David and Saul
00:35:42.26\00:35:46.54
at the celebration
of David's victory.
00:35:46.57\00:35:49.67
1 Samuel 18:6...
00:35:50.42\00:35:52.18
"...that the
women..." Have mercy.
00:35:56.61\00:35:58.39
And from that point forward,
the relationship goes downhill.
00:36:34.86\00:36:39.45
On two occasions, Saul
throws a javelin at David
00:36:40.41\00:36:45.11
trying to kill him.
00:36:45.14\00:36:46.36
He gives him a trophy
wife, Michal is daughter.
00:36:46.39\00:36:50.62
And the Bible says he gave
her to him to be a snare to him.
00:36:50.65\00:36:56.34
And the real irony is that
in the midst of all of these
00:36:58.11\00:37:01.37
attempts by Saul to kill David,
David keeps coming back to Saul.
00:37:01.40\00:37:05.87
Risking his life and safety,
knowing that Saul is crazy.
00:37:05.90\00:37:10.98
But still thirsting for this
father figure to fill the void
00:37:11.79\00:37:16.00
left by his own father.
00:37:16.03\00:37:18.07
When you don't get the
attention of your own father,
00:37:18.93\00:37:21.16
you'll compensate
by all kinds of things.
00:37:21.19\00:37:23.60
By overachieving and other ways.
00:37:23.63\00:37:26.38
And David
compensated with women.
00:37:28.64\00:37:30.92
Help me, Holy Ghost.
00:37:31.50\00:37:32.95
David and women.
00:37:35.07\00:37:36.45
2 Samuel 3:2
00:37:37.32\00:37:38.96
"And unto David
were sons born in Hebron.
00:37:40.24\00:37:42.80
His firstborn was Amnon,
of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess;
00:37:43.37\00:37:47.69
his second, Chileab, of Abigail
the wife of Nabal the Carmelite;
00:37:47.72\00:37:51.23
the third, Absalom the son
of Maacah the daughter of Talmai
00:37:51.26\00:37:54.58
the king of Geshur; the fourth,
Adonijah the son of Haggith;
00:37:54.61\00:37:57.83
the fifth,
Shephatiah the son of Abital;
00:37:57.96\00:38:01.11
the sixth, Ithream,
by Eglah David's wife.
00:38:01.14\00:38:05.34
These were born
to David in Hebron."
00:38:05.37\00:38:07.63
Did you get it?
00:38:09.01\00:38:10.19
The names of David's six male
children by six different wives.
00:38:12.55\00:38:17.22
David had many wives.
00:38:18.43\00:38:21.31
But of course, he
lived for conquest.
00:38:26.89\00:38:29.00
He was an overachiever...
00:38:29.88\00:38:31.47
...who tried to out do
everyone and everything.
00:38:32.24\00:38:34.31
And he did it.
00:38:34.34\00:38:35.37
Including conquest of women.
00:38:35.50\00:38:37.75
It's a shame that we
place so much importance as men
00:38:40.45\00:38:43.97
in an act that uses so
little of our time and effort.
00:38:44.00\00:38:47.54
Something about the male ego
and psyche that when we get old
00:38:50.71\00:38:54.19
we crave Viagra...
00:38:54.22\00:38:56.47
...and make sure that
it's available for our
00:39:00.07\00:39:02.28
medical insurance coverage.
00:39:02.31\00:39:03.68
Help me, Holy Ghost.
00:39:03.71\00:39:05.09
We're truly two-dimensional men
obsessed with height and width,
00:39:06.56\00:39:11.72
but not three-dimensional.
00:39:11.75\00:39:12.99
We don't have depth.
00:39:13.02\00:39:15.32
But was unfulfilled in his
relationship with his father,
00:39:18.54\00:39:21.41
was unfulfilled in his
relationships with women.
00:39:21.44\00:39:24.16
And a man who thinks he
can handle more than one woman
00:39:24.19\00:39:28.25
does not know himself or women.
00:39:28.28\00:39:31.19
Adam was more of a man than any
of us in this church tonight.
00:39:33.74\00:39:38.75
The perfect man physically.
00:39:38.78\00:39:40.74
And yet one woman was
enough to satisfy him.
00:39:40.77\00:39:45.28
The reality is, our
bodies do not belong to us.
00:39:46.99\00:39:49.90
Before we are
married, we belong to God.
00:39:50.76\00:39:53.24
1 Corinthians 6:19
says your body is the
00:39:53.27\00:39:55.70
temple of the Holy Ghost.
00:39:55.73\00:39:57.43
Our bodies belong to the
Holy Ghost before we're married.
00:39:58.09\00:40:01.27
And then after
we're married, our bodies
00:40:01.30\00:40:03.40
still belong to the Holy Ghost.
00:40:03.43\00:40:05.85
But watch this.
00:40:05.88\00:40:06.95
We are changed when
we're married; two become one.
00:40:08.30\00:40:11.10
So now together our
bodies belong to the Holy Ghost
00:40:11.68\00:40:14.42
and each other.
00:40:14.45\00:40:15.54
1 Corinthians
7:3-4, the Bible says,
00:40:17.06\00:40:19.68
"Let the husband render
unto the wife due benevolence;
00:40:19.71\00:40:22.46
and likewise also the
wife unto the husband.
00:40:22.49\00:40:25.03
The wife hath not power of
her own body, but the husband;
00:40:25.06\00:40:29.46
and likewise also the
husband hath not power
00:40:29.49\00:40:31.69
of his own body, but the wife."
00:40:31.72\00:40:34.01
Husbands and wives
belong to each other.
00:40:35.52\00:40:37.80
There is no such thing
as punishing him with sex
00:40:37.83\00:40:41.27
when you don't get your way.
00:40:41.30\00:40:43.04
Come on say amen, ladies.
00:40:44.19\00:40:45.84
Nor is there such a
thing as she must be available
00:40:46.98\00:40:50.17
to you whenever you want it.
00:40:50.20\00:40:51.63
Come on say amen, men.
00:40:51.66\00:40:53.26
Come on say amen, men.
00:40:54.33\00:40:55.88
If she's not available,
00:40:58.90\00:41:02.77
you can't get it
somewhere else either.
00:41:04.93\00:41:07.11
Your body no
longer belongs to you.
00:41:10.30\00:41:12.93
You belong to each other.
00:41:12.96\00:41:14.59
There must be mutuality.
00:41:14.62\00:41:16.81
So how can we become whole?
00:41:20.66\00:41:22.39
There's this Jonathan factor.
00:41:24.49\00:41:26.66
I want you to follow me now.
00:41:27.23\00:41:28.56
1 Samuel 18:3-4...
00:41:29.09\00:41:30.97
This Jonathan factor.
00:41:45.05\00:41:46.47
What is the Jonathan factor?
00:41:46.50\00:41:47.88
Jonathan went into
this covenant with David.
00:41:47.91\00:41:50.60
Loved him as himself.
00:41:50.63\00:41:52.43
There is something
that every man needs.
00:41:53.38\00:41:57.12
It's an intimate close
relationship with another man.
00:41:58.60\00:42:03.26
An unconditional friendship
with mutual accountability.
00:42:03.97\00:42:10.30
And when things began to go
haywire between Saul and David,
00:42:13.26\00:42:17.51
it was Jonathan's
counsel that would save him.
00:42:17.54\00:42:21.20
David has been avoiding
Saul and he wants to know,
00:42:22.94\00:42:26.21
is it safe for him
to return to the palace
00:42:27.01\00:42:30.01
and return to his
place at the king's side.
00:42:30.04\00:42:33.79
And Jonathan meets him to
tell his friend what he must do.
00:42:33.89\00:42:38.15
Jonathan goes out to the field
and shoots arrows in the field.
00:42:39.68\00:42:43.67
And where the
arrows land will tell David
00:42:43.70\00:42:47.12
whether or not he can
return to the king's palace.
00:42:47.15\00:42:50.71
And that's where we pick up
the story in 1 Samuel 20:38.
00:42:51.74\00:42:55.69
And they would never
see each other again.
00:43:46.96\00:43:50.31
Oh, it's powerful.
00:43:53.06\00:43:54.49
Men, you need some
male in your life...
00:43:56.81\00:44:00.97
...who you can covenant with,
00:44:03.02\00:44:05.05
who will have your back.
00:44:06.32\00:44:08.68
who will protect
you and support you.
00:44:09.82\00:44:13.94
But not only that, who will tell
you the truth about yourself.
00:44:14.84\00:44:19.94
When David's life was in danger,
Jonathan told him the truth.
00:44:22.60\00:44:27.10
Jonathan told him,
"You've got to leave."
00:44:27.13\00:44:29.88
That's what David
needed in his life,
00:44:32.25\00:44:34.86
and in his
relationships with women.
00:44:35.57\00:44:38.25
Some of us as men spend too
much time joking and jesting
00:44:39.08\00:44:43.45
and playing with
each other all the time
00:44:43.48\00:44:45.92
instead of having
some serious conversations
00:44:45.95\00:44:49.02
with each other about
important issues in our lives.
00:44:49.05\00:44:53.51
Some of us have friends right
now who are ruining their lives,
00:44:57.11\00:45:00.70
and you know about it.
00:45:00.73\00:45:02.12
Wasting their life and
destroying their families.
00:45:02.15\00:45:05.31
They have women who love
them, their children need them.
00:45:05.34\00:45:09.34
You need a
Jonathan in your life...
00:45:09.37\00:45:12.08
...who will bind
you when you're wounded
00:45:13.98\00:45:17.17
and blast you
when you're wicked.
00:45:17.27\00:45:20.39
Someone who you can be real
with and who is real with you.
00:45:24.03\00:45:28.16
Someone who will tell
you the truth about yourself.
00:45:28.19\00:45:31.00
I'm not talking about a woman,
I'm talking about another man.
00:45:31.03\00:45:33.74
You see, when women try to tell
us the truth about ourselves,
00:45:33.77\00:45:36.62
we dismiss it as nagging.
00:45:36.65\00:45:38.70
Huh?
00:45:40.39\00:45:41.42
Every man needs another
man who can be real with him,
00:45:42.82\00:45:47.67
and who he can be real with.
00:45:49.78\00:45:52.41
Listen to what
I'm saying tonight.
00:45:54.58\00:45:56.45
This is serious business.
00:45:56.88\00:45:58.66
I'm talking as a man to men.
00:45:58.76\00:46:01.34
1 Samuel 13:14, "The
Lord has sought for Himself
00:46:05.55\00:46:11.16
a man after His own heart."
00:46:11.26\00:46:13.91
What does it mean?
00:46:13.94\00:46:15.65
David was a man
after God's own heart.
00:46:17.99\00:46:22.10
Most of us think it means
David had a heart like God's.
00:46:22.13\00:46:26.04
And it gives us this
picture of a super human,
00:46:26.74\00:46:29.87
super spiritual believer,
who functions at a level
00:46:29.90\00:46:33.61
far above us spiritually
that none of us can attain.
00:46:33.71\00:46:38.42
But that can't be true.
00:46:38.45\00:46:40.14
Look at David.
00:46:41.06\00:46:42.46
There's no extraordinary
spirituality about him.
00:46:43.39\00:46:46.76
He was a murderer, a
philanderer, proud, pugilistic,
00:46:46.79\00:46:50.06
insensitive, a
failure as a father.
00:46:50.09\00:46:52.82
David did not
have a heart like God.
00:46:53.46\00:46:55.93
What it means is, David had a
desire to have a heart like God.
00:46:58.29\00:47:04.94
David was a man
who desired to change.
00:47:06.75\00:47:10.89
He was willing to change.
00:47:11.41\00:47:14.40
He was a man who
admitted he needed a change.
00:47:14.60\00:47:19.33
When he was lost in his
sins after his murder of Uriah
00:47:23.15\00:47:26.66
and his adultery
with his wife Bathsheba,
00:47:27.17\00:47:29.64
he cried out in Psalm 51:1
"Have mercy upon me, O God,
00:47:29.67\00:47:34.18
according to
Thy loving kindness.
00:47:34.65\00:47:36.34
According unto the
multitude of Thy tender mercies
00:47:36.37\00:47:38.52
blot out my transgressions.
00:47:38.55\00:47:40.24
Purge me with
hyssop, and I shall be clean.
00:47:40.27\00:47:42.37
Wash me, and I
shall be whiter than snow.
00:47:42.40\00:47:45.13
Hide Thy face from my sins and
blot out all mine iniquities.
00:47:45.16\00:47:48.84
Cast me not from Thy presence,
take not Thy Spirit from me.
00:47:48.87\00:47:52.15
Create in me a
clean heart, O God,
00:47:52.18\00:47:54.24
and renew a right
spirit within me."
00:47:54.27\00:47:56.87
Christian living
is not perfection.
00:48:00.38\00:48:02.38
Christian living is never being
satisfied with who you are.
00:48:02.41\00:48:07.07
David was never
satisfied with who he was,
00:48:08.52\00:48:11.05
never made excuses for himself,
and never blamed his faults
00:48:11.08\00:48:15.16
and failings on somebody else.
00:48:15.19\00:48:17.27
You never hear him bringing
up his father's cold distant
00:48:17.30\00:48:21.37
relationship as a
reason for his problems.
00:48:21.40\00:48:24.86
He said in Psalm 51:3, "For I
acknowledge my transgressions,
00:48:25.80\00:48:29.88
and my sin is ever before me."
00:48:29.91\00:48:32.42
He took full
responsibility for his actions.
00:48:32.45\00:48:35.21
Think about Saul
and David for a moment.
00:48:36.97\00:48:39.29
As sins go, in our eyes
Saul's sins were far less
00:48:39.78\00:48:45.56
severe than David's.
00:48:45.59\00:48:47.24
Saul did not follow
God's directions implicitly.
00:48:49.33\00:48:52.47
In 1 Samuel 15, God told him to
utterly destroy the Amalekites
00:48:52.83\00:48:57.60
and keep none of them alive.
00:48:57.79\00:48:59.06
Saul spared the choice flocks
and spared the life of Agag.
00:48:59.09\00:49:03.89
We would say he was merciful.
00:49:03.92\00:49:05.73
He didn't take someone's life.
00:49:06.92\00:49:08.79
And David took
another man's wife
00:49:09.14\00:49:11.33
and had her
husband assassinated.
00:49:11.36\00:49:13.72
But Saul, when his
sins were revealed to him,
00:49:16.42\00:49:19.34
refused to admit his
sin and refused to change.
00:49:19.54\00:49:23.23
Saul did not desire
to have the heart of God.
00:49:24.35\00:49:29.30
But David was a man
after God's own heart.
00:49:30.83\00:49:35.93
And though David pleaded for and
received God's grace and mercy,
00:49:37.67\00:49:42.54
he did not forget his
obligation to God's law.
00:49:42.57\00:49:45.40
In Psalm 119:10 he
says, "With my whole heart
00:49:45.43\00:49:49.37
have I sought Thee.
00:49:49.40\00:49:50.60
O let me not wonder
from Thy commandments.
00:49:50.63\00:49:53.68
O how I love Thy law, for it's
my meditation all day long."
00:49:53.71\00:49:59.10
David was a man
after God's own heart.
00:50:00.01\00:50:03.07
And because he was
chasing after God's own heart,
00:50:03.10\00:50:06.36
he wanted his
heart changed into God's.
00:50:06.39\00:50:09.07
He said in Psalm 42:1, "As
the heart panteth after the
00:50:09.10\00:50:13.15
water brooks, so panteth
my soul after thee, O my God."
00:50:13.18\00:50:19.31
David's great salvation
was his relationship with God.
00:50:23.67\00:50:29.61
That's what made him great.
00:50:31.71\00:50:33.37
David was a man
after God's own heart.
00:50:35.32\00:50:38.16
And God is looking for men
who can face their frailties
00:50:38.19\00:50:43.19
and admit their frailties.
00:50:43.47\00:50:45.19
Men who are willing
to realize they need help
00:50:45.22\00:50:48.61
outside themselves and
seek God's help for change.
00:50:48.64\00:50:56.46
David found in God the
third dimension of his identity;
00:50:57.97\00:51:03.74
spiritual depth.
00:51:03.77\00:51:05.45
He wanted to be deep with God.
00:51:05.48\00:51:09.29
I wonder how many men tonight
want to be deep with God.
00:51:11.63\00:51:16.03
David was a disfavored
man in his own household,
00:51:20.95\00:51:23.86
much like Jesus.
00:51:23.89\00:51:25.35
"Came to His own and
His own received Him not."
00:51:26.04\00:51:28.45
They put Him on a
cross and crucified Him.
00:51:28.48\00:51:30.90
But David sought and
found forgiveness and hope
00:51:31.93\00:51:36.40
and salvation with God.
00:51:36.43\00:51:38.98
And we can find it too.
00:51:41.09\00:51:42.75
No matter what experience
we've had in our lives,
00:51:43.16\00:51:45.60
no matter how we
have been treated,
00:51:45.63\00:51:48.30
no matter what we
have lost and missed,
00:51:48.33\00:51:50.92
we can be the men
God wants us to be...
00:51:50.95\00:51:54.95
...if we
surrender our lives to Him.
00:51:57.24\00:51:59.30
Is that the
experience you want tonight?
00:52:00.94\00:52:03.07
If it is, why don't you stand
to your feet with me tonight
00:52:04.12\00:52:06.81
as we close with prayer.
00:52:07.76\00:52:09.81
Father in heaven,
we thank You tonight.
00:52:14.44\00:52:16.97
We thank You that You
are able to transform us,
00:52:18.28\00:52:25.30
to make us the men
You would want us to be.
00:52:26.81\00:52:32.18
No matter what we have
done or where we have been,
00:52:34.04\00:52:36.79
no matter what we have
left or what we have lost,
00:52:38.21\00:52:42.67
You can supply
what we have lost.
00:52:43.98\00:52:47.00
You can fill the
empty spaces in our lives.
00:52:47.35\00:52:50.41
You can make us the men
that You would have us to be.
00:52:51.48\00:52:54.80
And we're standing
tonight, Lord, because we need
00:52:55.95\00:52:58.27
You desperately.
00:52:58.30\00:52:59.70
We need You to make us what
You would have us to be as men.
00:52:59.73\00:53:05.52
Fit us as men who are
worthy to be the kind of persons
00:53:06.66\00:53:15.99
that will be
faithful in relationships,
00:53:16.65\00:53:21.98
faithful as heads of homes,
00:53:23.32\00:53:25.59
faithful as
husbands and fathers.
00:53:26.01\00:53:28.46
And when You shall
come, save us in Your kingdom.
00:53:29.85\00:53:34.41
For we ask all of these
things in Jesus' name, amen.
00:53:35.77\00:53:42.04
Can we say amen.
00:53:49.63\00:53:50.89
You may be seated.
00:53:50.92\00:53:52.17
You know, Pastor Nixon, I
want to spent a few more minutes
00:53:52.94\00:53:56.26
talking with you.
00:53:56.29\00:53:57.41
Can we say that
was a powerful message.
00:53:57.44\00:53:59.32
What do you say tonight?
00:53:59.35\00:54:00.38
And I know that
those of you tuning in
00:54:00.89\00:54:02.26
have been touched tremendously.
00:54:02.29\00:54:03.78
Talk a little bit
more about Boys To Men.
00:54:04.81\00:54:06.97
Because you mentioned in
certain portions of your sermon,
00:54:07.00\00:54:11.35
I'm not going to go
into that right now,
00:54:11.38\00:54:13.93
but tell us the
inspiration behind Boys To Men.
00:54:14.27\00:54:16.50
You are a chaplain, one of the
chaplains at Andrews University,
00:54:16.53\00:54:20.02
and you deal with
students all the time.
00:54:20.05\00:54:21.85
I want to find out the
heart of the inspiration
00:54:22.37\00:54:25.13
for this message.
00:54:25.16\00:54:26.40
And give us a little bit
more insight into ways that
00:54:26.43\00:54:30.12
we can transition
from the boy in us
00:54:30.15\00:54:34.52
to the man that
God wants us to be.
00:54:34.55\00:54:36.90
Well, it's interesting
that you bring that up,
00:54:38.30\00:54:42.83
because being on a
university campus, you do
00:54:42.86\00:54:47.93
engage and encounter
young adults at that stage
00:54:48.77\00:54:53.18
in their lives when
they're making the transition
00:54:53.21\00:54:55.58
to adulthood.
00:54:55.61\00:54:56.91
And it's at that stage
when they really are struggling
00:54:57.24\00:55:00.53
with the issues that
have really challenged them.
00:55:00.56\00:55:06.89
If they have grown up without
a father, or if they've grown up
00:55:07.57\00:55:10.95
in broken homes, if
they've grown up coming from
00:55:10.98\00:55:16.39
families of divorce, and
so the residual experiences
00:55:16.90\00:55:24.54
of how that has impacted
them has made it challenging
00:55:24.57\00:55:28.24
for them to really have
very healthy relationships.
00:55:28.27\00:55:33.73
And I've found a number of young
men, when I discuss issues of
00:55:34.16\00:55:39.25
relationships and how young
men should treat young women,
00:55:39.28\00:55:41.90
some of the young men
will say to me, "You know,
00:55:42.86\00:55:45.80
Chaplain Nixon, I don't know.
00:55:46.18\00:55:47.87
I never had
anyone to really show me
00:55:47.90\00:55:50.29
how to treat a woman, because
I never had a father there."
00:55:51.07\00:55:54.92
And so, it's
really a challenging issue
00:55:55.64\00:56:00.24
that we have in our communities.
00:56:01.04\00:56:03.97
And we sometimes take
for granted when we have
00:56:04.00\00:56:08.82
grown up in a
stable environment.
00:56:08.85\00:56:12.45
And even growing up in
the church, if you have,
00:56:12.48\00:56:15.72
if you have come from a
single parent home but you've
00:56:15.89\00:56:18.27
grown up in a church
where there have been men
00:56:18.30\00:56:21.92
and a community, you've had
those strong male figures there
00:56:21.95\00:56:27.54
who have been
there to fill that void.
00:56:27.86\00:56:30.99
But when you haven't
had that, that community,
00:56:31.02\00:56:34.55
we don't understand the impact
that has on young men's lives
00:56:35.73\00:56:39.45
to have that missing
kind of value system there.
00:56:39.88\00:56:44.89
And so it's something
that I have really been very
00:56:45.20\00:56:49.65
keen in thinking about,
and thinking about some of the
00:56:49.68\00:56:52.39
challenges in our
community with young men.
00:56:52.42\00:56:55.15
And in preparation for the
transition to the next message.
00:56:55.66\00:56:59.12
Because I told you at
the opening that this is a
00:56:59.15\00:57:01.65
four part series
by Dr. Timothy Nixon.
00:57:01.68\00:57:04.97
I want to pause in a moment.
00:57:05.24\00:57:06.41
We had lunch today
together, and affectionately
00:57:06.44\00:57:09.37
I said I have to introduce
you as Dr. Timothy Nixon.
00:57:09.40\00:57:12.26
But we go back, we know
our boys to men journey.
00:57:12.47\00:57:15.81
- Isn't that right. -
That's right, that's right.
00:57:15.84\00:57:16.97
We were in
elementary school together,
00:57:17.00\00:57:18.59
we went to the same
church, we grew up together.
00:57:18.79\00:57:21.16
Basketball team together,
went to Oakwood University.
00:57:21.48\00:57:24.07
And now reconnecting years
later, I can see that God truly
00:57:24.10\00:57:27.88
has worked in our
lives to take us from the
00:57:27.91\00:57:29.90
boy side to the man side.
00:57:29.93\00:57:31.51
Fifteen to twenty more seconds,
give us a preview of what's
00:57:31.54\00:57:34.51
to come up next.
00:57:34.54\00:57:35.86
Tomorrow night I'm
going to talk to the ladies.
00:57:35.89\00:57:38.21
So come out
tomorrow night, ladies.
00:57:38.45\00:57:40.09
The subject will be
titled, Junk In The Trunk.
00:57:40.12\00:57:42.73
Okay, Junk In the Trunk.
00:57:42.76\00:57:45.16
For those of you that
are tuning in, you don't
00:57:45.19\00:57:46.92
want to miss the next message.
00:57:46.95\00:57:48.04
Thank you so
much, Dr. Timothy Nixon.
00:57:48.07\00:57:50.07
That's a sermon
that does require.
00:57:50.10\00:57:52.37
Pray that the Lord
will continue guiding you,
00:57:52.65\00:57:54.75
and for all that
you do for Dare To Dream
00:57:54.78\00:57:56.66
and for 3ABN.
00:57:56.69\00:57:57.92
God bless you
till we see you again.
00:57:57.95\00:57:59.54
Good night.
00:57:59.57\00:58:00.63