Participants: Rowland Nwsou
Series Code: FC
Program Code: FC000323
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00:31 Hello, my name is Pastor Rowland C. Nwosu
00:36 and this is Faith Chapel. I'm the Pastor of 00:39 the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 00:41 All Nations African Church in San Bernardino, 00:45 California, and the president of the Adventist 00:47 hour international ministries. In a world 00:51 where 50% or even more of our marriages 00:57 are ending up in divorce, in a society where 01:02 homicide, crime have infested our society. 01:10 In a society when, and where the prisons are 01:14 filled with young people. I want to share 01:17 with you today something that I've caught, 01:20 that I've entitled how to keep the one you 01:23 love in love with you, how to keep the one 01:27 you love in love with you. Let us pray. 01:31 Dear heavenly Father, we thank you 01:33 because you are love, we thank you for the 01:37 love you have given us to share, help us 01:39 O Father to be able to pass on that love to 01:44 those around us. In Jesus name we pray, amen. 01:51 How to keep the one you love in love with you. 01:56 God is love and God created us in his image 02:03 and that means that he who is love, 02:07 who created us in his image created love. 02:10 So we are love, it is natural to love, 02:13 it is natural to be loved. Therefore to be in 02:17 love, to keep the one you love to be in love 02:20 with you. First thing I want to suggest to us 02:24 is that we need to be loveable ourselves. 02:29 You see everyone wants to be loved and I have 02:31 not seen anybody who does not want to be 02:34 loved and if there is any one who says to you 02:36 I don't want to be loved is because they 02:39 have been loved, they have been hurt by 02:42 somebody who was suppose to love them but 02:44 did not love them. I guarantee you that there 02:49 is in everyone a desire to be loved. 02:54 If you want to be loved, love, be loveable 02:58 yourself, be nice to other people. 03:01 If you want people to smile at you, 03:04 smile at people. If you want people to be 03:06 nice and cordial to you be nice and cordial 03:10 to them. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 03:14 chapter 18:24, that a man or a person who 03:20 has friends must himself be friendly, 03:24 but there is a friend who sticks closer than a 03:31 brother, and in Luke also chapter 6:30 and 03:37 31, Jesus tells us that we must give to 03:45 everyone who asks of us, and from him 03:48 who takes away from your goods do not 03:53 ask them back and just as you want man to 03:57 do you, you also do to them likewise. 04:03 That is to say, that is to say, if you want 04:08 someone to love you, love them. 04:13 What is your attitude toward people? 04:16 How do you feel when you see somebody? 04:23 How you react when you see somebody, 04:26 do you think there is something that we are 04:29 emitting, something that in a way that we're 04:32 coming closer that also make somebody react 04:36 to us the way they do react to us. 04:40 A story is told by actually it was Allen 04:44 Peterson who wrote this, he wrote about 04:47 a newspaper columnist and also who was 04:49 a minister, George Crane tells of a wife 04:54 who came to his office one day full of anger 04:56 and, fury and rage. And she said to him 05:01 you know what I hate my husband, 05:04 I do not want to marry him anymore. 05:07 I want to get rid of him. Tell me how I should 05:10 do this? But before I divorce him I want to 05:14 hurt him, I want to hurt him. I want to make him 05:17 feel the pain that he has been giving to me. 05:22 Dr. Crane, Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious 05:26 plan and that plan I called 'As if plan' 05:31 Dr. Crane suggested to this woman you know, 05:34 go home and act as if you love this man. 05:39 Just act as if for two or three months and 05:42 then you come back and lets revisit this plan. 05:46 You know love him as much as possible, 05:50 go and tell him how much you love him, 05:53 praise him in every decent, for every decent 05:57 trait that he has and just share with him, 06:02 make sure you're kind to him, lovish, 06:05 all kinds of kindness to him. Make sure that 06:09 you yourself enjoy him also and spend all 06:12 effort to please him and to enjoy him. 06:15 Make him believe. The secret is making him 06:18 believe that you love him and then after 06:22 you have convinced him that you love him 06:25 very undyingly and that you cannot live your 06:29 love without him Dr. Crane suggested to him, 06:32 to her, then at that time when you have 06:35 gained his trust that you love him, 06:38 drop him, and then tell him you're getting a 06:42 divorce that will really hurt him. 06:47 Wow! With some smiles on her face she left 06:51 satisfied, she thought she had received the 06:55 advice, that the counseling that she 06:57 needed then she went to work. 07:00 She returned home to tell her husband the 07:08 way somebody who loves someone should 07:11 treat them. Two months passed, 07:15 three months passed, four months passed, 07:17 five months, six months Dr. Crane calls the 07:20 lady and asks, madam, how about the divorce? 07:27 When are you coming to sign the papers? 07:29 The woman's response was, divorce! 07:34 She exclaimed divorce! Never; never, 07:39 I do not want to divorce. I have found out 07:44 that I love this man. What is the lesson here? 07:49 The lesson is that when we love somebody we 07:53 express that love. When we love somebody 07:57 we tell them, we show them, when we expect 08:04 to be loved, let's love as well. Point number 2 08:09 that I want to share with you, to keep the 08:14 one you love in love with you make the 08:18 commitment to love. You see when you make 08:20 a commitment to love someone, it is hard to go 08:25 back on that commitment if you were serious 08:28 in the first place. Let me explain to you, 08:32 you see true love is a gift from God. 08:36 God is love and he gave us the love to share, 08:40 so true love does not have anything to do 08:44 with sex and beauty. True love comes from 08:47 the heart, it's a principle, it's a self 08:50 sacrificing principle. Now when, because 08:54 God is loved, God created us in his image, 08:59 so we also are in the image of God who is 09:04 love. So when we love, when we commit to 09:09 love, we do not love because of something 09:12 we want to gain, we love because we want 09:15 to give and if there is something negative that 09:19 we're getting in our love relationship there is 09:24 that need for us to give, to continue to give, 09:27 just as God gives us, just as God gives us 09:32 even when we do not have what it takes 09:36 for him to love us. Commitment to love, 09:38 if you commit to love, especially this is within 09:42 the context now of marriage. Love, love 09:50 unconditionally, love not hoping to break, 09:55 not to divorce. Love not making plans to 10:01 divorce and end relationships. So if you 10:03 have sinned Jesus, you have sinned the Father, 10:07 you have sinned love. A commitment 10:10 reinforces our choice to forgive when we are 10:14 offended. If you are committed to a 10:17 relationship you will forgive the one you love. 10:21 There is story about two friends. 10:24 Two friends, who went traveling and they 10:28 somehow they went through a desert, 10:31 and during some point in that journey one 10:34 of the friends slapped his best friend. 10:38 So, he was so much hurt that he stoop down 10:41 and wrote on the sand today my best friend 10:45 slapped me in the face. And they continued 10:50 going on their journey, but somehow they 10:53 found an oasis in the desert and they went 10:57 to cool off and wash and clean and drink 11:01 some water, somehow something happened 11:04 that the friend who was slapped got stuck 11:07 in the mud and was about to sink and his 11:09 friend came out to rescue him, pulled him out. 11:15 So as they went he saw a stone and he 11:18 carved on that stone. Today my best friend 11:24 saved my life. Now his friend said to him, 11:28 why the first time you wrote on the sand? 11:33 But now that I saved your life you wrote on 11:37 the stone, his friend turned around and said 11:40 to him. The lesson here is that we must learn 11:46 to write our hurts in the sand of our lives, 11:51 but to carve our benefits and our blessings on 11:56 the stones of our lives. A story is told of 12:04 a woman and there are many women who are 12:08 hurting in relationships of marriage. 12:12 This woman is being beaten up and has 12:14 been abused and needed to get out of that 12:17 situation, but she was not just wanting to 12:23 get out but she wanted to get even. 12:26 She wanted to pay back; she ended up 12:32 having a stroke in a very difficult situation. 12:36 So there is no doubt that in a relationship 12:39 where commitment, where a marriage, 12:42 a saying in marriage situation, we don't have 12:45 to continue to remain in a situation where our 12:50 lives are in danger. When I talk about 12:54 commitment, it is the commitment to God as a 12:59 principle, the love that God has given us. 13:03 I hate to see a woman die, I hate to see a 13:06 child die, I hate to see a man die living in 13:10 a difficult situation. It is said, it takes a 13:18 minute to find a special person, an hour to 13:23 appreciate them, a day to love them, 13:27 and a life time to forget them. That is why 13:33 we must make commitments that our God 13:40 centered. For those of you who might be 13:44 contemplating marriage before you make any 13:46 life time commitment, be careful, 13:49 pray hard and make sure you are. 13:52 That the relationship you're getting to is 13:54 something that the Lord supports and that the 13:58 Lord will welcome and the Lord will honor. 14:01 Let us make out time for those we love. 14:05 Let's not value the things that we have in our 14:09 life, but value who we have in life. 14:14 In our lives, if you want your friend to 14:17 be committed to you, you commit to your friend 14:21 also. In Luke chapter 6:30 and 31 that we read 14:26 already, he says just as you want men to 14:30 do to you, do them also likewise. 14:35 The third, the third thing I want to suggest 14:39 to you, if you want to keep those you 14:40 love in love with you, cultivate inner values. 14:44 You see before you can even give love, 14:47 before you can show love, there is a need 14:51 for you to know, to have a base, to cultivate 14:54 inner core values. What are these values I'm 14:57 talking about? These are things that make 14:59 you who you are, the values, call it family 15:03 values, call it Bible values, call it Christian 15:05 values, but family values are derived from God. 15:10 These are gifts that God have given us. 15:13 These are standards of judgment and standards 15:18 of value that we have, that are based on the 15:23 scripture, on the word of God. God said in 15:28 Isaiah chapter 55:8, 9, that's our thoughts it 15:36 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 15:40 nor are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 15:45 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, 15:47 so are my ways higher than your ways, 15:50 and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." 15:55 So your goals, God gave us these values and 15:59 the heart of man is evil and desperately wicked, 16:02 so when, so as God's children values must be 16:05 God centered, it must be biblical, it must be 16:08 based on the word of God. The standard by 16:11 which our values are judged, are the standards 16:15 of God as the scripture has described it. 16:19 So as Christians our values must be Bible 16:22 centered, God centered and it is our values, 16:27 our inner values that determines for us how 16:30 we speak to people, inner values and those 16:34 core values that determine what we wear 16:36 to church, where we, how we, whether we 16:40 should return our tithe or not, what movies, 16:43 if any we should watch at all. It is those 16:46 inner values, those inner values determine 16:49 who we live with, how we live in our lives 16:53 and in our bed rooms, those inner values 16:55 determine whether we are to shekel or shake 17:00 with somebody or to who our roommates are 17:03 to be. Those values also determine whether 17:06 we divorce are not divorce or whether we 17:10 pick a roommate and why and how and all 17:13 those things, those are inner values that 17:17 must be based on scripture and that is why 17:19 it is important that when we begin to 17:22 formulate relationship that we match those 17:25 values with those who match our own values 17:32 that the Bible says, poses in a very unique 17:35 way it says don't be unequally yoke with 17:37 unbelievers, those who do not believe what 17:41 you believe in the Lord. Let me turn to the next, 17:48 the next reason, the next point where if you 17:52 really want to keep the one you love in 17:55 love with you, express your love to them. 17:59 Express that love. In Proverbs 25:11, 18:02 the Bible tells us that a word fitly spoken 18:07 is like apples of gold in settings of silver. 18:10 Can you imagine this and someone has said 18:13 that truth without love is cruel, truth without 18:19 love is cruel, love without truth is 18:23 deceptive. How do your express your love to the 18:27 one you love. You know I come from a culture 18:31 where a people felt that, oh don't tell the child 18:35 how good he's doing, otherwise it will enter 18:39 into his head and he's gonna mess up. 18:43 No, I don't believe this, share, tell people 18:46 when they are doing good, they don't just 18:48 need to hear the criticism, when you have 18:50 relationship, what do you share? 18:52 Do you express your love for that person in 18:57 words, in actions, in your random acts of 19:01 kindness, how about your neighbors, 19:03 how about those who live across the street, 19:05 how do you express your love to your spouse. 19:10 Solomon, in Song of Solomon chapter 1, 19:15 chapter 4:1-8, we hear Solomon talking about 19:20 his, describing his wife as fair. It says, behold, 19:27 you are fair my love! Behold, you are fair! 19:32 You have dove's eyes behind your veil. 19:36 Your hair is like a flock of goats, going down 19:41 from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock 19:44 of shorn sheep which have come up from the 19:47 washing, every one of which bears twins, 19:52 and none is barren among them. Your lips are 19:55 like a strand of scarlet, and your mouth is 19:58 lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like 20:01 a piece of pomegranate. Your neck is like the 20:04 tower of David, built for an armory, 20:07 on which hang a thousand bucklers, 20:10 all shields of mighty men. Your two breasts 20:15 are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, which 20:18 feed among the lilies. Until the day breaks 20:22 and the shadows flee away, I will go my way 20:26 to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of 20:29 frankincense. You are fair my love, 20:32 and there is no spot in you. Come with me 20:36 from Lebanon my spouse, with me from Lebanon. 20:40 Look from the top of Amana, from the top 20:43 of Senir and Hermon from the lions dens, 20:47 from the mountains of the leopards. 20:50 You see even the Bible expresses the fact 20:54 that we need to express our love to our 20:59 spouses, husbands. Do you share, do you 21:05 express your love to your spouse. 21:07 Wives, do you express your love to your 21:09 spouse in this way. In words not just deeds, 21:13 in acts of course. Number five, if we must 21:20 keep those who love us in love with us, 21:23 we need to keep our love pure and maintain 21:26 the appropriate boundaries. You see for 21:29 every love relationship God has placed a 21:32 boundary which must be observed. 21:35 The Bible describes the dynamics and the 21:38 boundaries of such love. There are blessings 21:42 as well as consequences for maintaining that 21:46 boundary as well as going outside of those 21:49 boundaries. There are blessings for keeping 21:51 within the boundaries and curses or consequences 21:54 for saying and going beyond the boundaries, 21:58 which God has already placed in those 22:01 relationships. Let me explain here. There is a 22:05 boundary between the love between a pet and 22:08 the pet owner. There is a boundary between the 22:12 love between a father and a son, 22:15 or between a father and a daughter, 22:17 there is a boundary between the love 22:20 between a husband and his wife. 22:22 There is a boundary between the love between 22:25 the Pastor and his church members; 22:28 there is a boundary between the love between 22:32 church members. Yes, there are also 22:35 boundaries between, the love between classmates, 22:39 between roommates, between people who work 22:42 in offices together. We called as Christians 22:47 to maintain those boundaries. So the 22:50 question is if we must keep the one we love in 22:55 love with us, we must keep, we must maintain 22:58 the boundaries within those relationships, 23:05 that means married people keep your marriage 23:08 pure. Guard jealously those boundaries which 23:13 God has given, other sources contaminate the 23:18 original source and whatever you do at work 23:24 or in your computer or in your relationship 23:28 outside of the home, keep it pure and maintain 23:32 those boundaries. Youth and young adults stay, 23:36 who are single, stay single until you're 23:40 married and don't act like you're married either. 23:44 Children and younger youth stay away from 23:48 that stuff, study and concentrate and pay 23:52 attention to the study and wait and your time 23:55 will come. You'll have enough time and then 24:00 also watch out my space that company, 24:05 for God is watching. First Corinthians 7:8, 9, 24:10 Apostle Paul cautions us to be careful, he says, 24:15 now to the unmarried and to the widows I say, 24:19 it is good for them to stay unmarried as I am, 24:21 but if they cannot control themselves, 24:24 they should marry for it is better to marry than 24:28 to burn with passions. There are divine blessings 24:34 for maintaining those boundaries, Jesus talked 24:37 about it in Matthew chapter 5:8, he says, 24:39 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see 24:43 God. Now having said that I want to offer some 24:48 hope to anyone who has crossed that 24:51 boundary either by mistake or by negligence 24:56 or whatever, but there is promise in First 25:00 John chapter 1:9, 10, Jesus says, Apostle John 25:06 says about Jesus, if we confess our sins, 25:10 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to 25:14 forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from 25:17 all unrighteousness, and if we say we do not 25:20 have, if we say that we have not sinned, 25:26 we make him a liar and his word is not in us. 25:34 My dear friends, if you want to stay, 25:38 if you want to keep the one you love in love 25:41 with you, maintain those boundaries, 25:46 keep them pure. If you have failed and 25:49 neglected ask the Lord, he will forgive. 25:53 The sixth point I like to share with you. 25:56 If want you to do it, if you need to maintain that 25:59 relationship. Study the best book, 26:02 the best text book on love and that is the 26:05 word of God. God is love and he gave us this 26:09 book. If you want to know how to love, 26:12 read the book. Some people think the Bible is 26:17 not cool to have it, to carry it, it is not cool 26:21 to memorize it, it is not cool to study it, 26:24 but this is the greatest book and it deals with 26:27 love and tells us how we must love. 26:31 If God is love then his book is the ultimate text 26:36 book on love. Make Christ the center and Lord 26:41 of your life, of your love is the seventh. 26:44 You see God is love and love is like a triangle. 26:49 God gave us love and love is not complete until 26:53 we share it and it is returned to God, 26:56 also love from God, love to others and then 27:01 love back to God. You see, we must, if we 27:08 plan to keep those who we love in love with us, 27:11 we must make Christ the center of our love. 27:16 God is love, seek ye first the kingdom of God 27:21 and His righteousness; and all these things 27:24 will be added unto you. If you must keep the 27:27 one you love in love with you be loveable, 27:31 make a commitment to love, cultivate inner 27:34 values, express your love in the right way, 27:38 keep your love pure and maintain the 27:41 appropriate boundaries, study the best text 27:43 book on love, that is the Bible. Make Christ the 27:47 center and the Lord of your love, in doing so he 27:51 will bless you and you will reap the 27:53 benefits of love. For God is love. |
Revised 2014-12-17