Participants: Tom Waters
Series Code: FC
Program Code: FC000313
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00:31 Welcome to Faith Chapel,
00:33 I'm Tom Waters with Restoration International. 00:36 Today we're gonna be talking about something 00:38 that is vitally important. 00:40 Something that unfortunately is slipping 00:44 away in the world, something that is 00:48 being deceptively stolen even from our 00:52 churches and something that parents sadly 00:58 are trading away for busy, pressure-filled 01:03 lifestyles. What I'm talking about today 01:07 is preserving the family. Is that important? 01:12 You know we live in a world that is made up 01:15 of families and we have a church that's made 01:20 up of families. And the devils wants to destroy 01:24 in every way possible. He wants the destruction 01:28 of the family. And unfortunately, sadly, 01:31 we see many of the evidences of the family 01:35 being broken and beginning to crumble. 01:39 It affects every part of our world today. 01:42 You know the Apostle Paul in First Timothy, 01:46 he pleased with us as parents. 01:48 He says keep that which is committed 01:52 to the trust. If there is any trust that we 01:54 have as parents today. It is the trust of these 01:59 children God has give to us. And he is calling 02:02 to us to keep that trust and the only 02:04 way we can keep that trust is as we 02:07 keep our trust in God our heavenly Father. 02:11 You know you may find yourself today. 02:14 There maybe someone that is struggling 02:17 with preserving your family, because you've 02:20 been left in a difficult situation. 02:22 You've been left as a single parent. 02:26 I tell you that Jesus Christ wants to be a 02:32 husband to the single parent. 02:34 To the single mother who is struggling. 02:36 Jesus wants to be a father to those children, 02:41 and I can tell you today that we know 02:45 of many situations that have tragic 02:48 circumstance that have painful and difficult 02:51 circumstances, but when that single parent. 02:55 Whether that's a father or a mother. 02:58 In those situations we know many people 03:01 today that are preserving their 03:03 family in spite of the difficult circumstances. 03:06 And those of who that, that have a 03:09 very blessed marriage union. Are you really 03:13 preserving your family? Are you allowing God 03:17 to work in your home in such a way that 03:20 you're keeping the family close together, 03:23 that you have the hearts of your children. 03:26 I remember when I was a boy of 8 or 9-years-old 03:30 my brother who is seven years older then me. 03:34 We were given something to look forward to. 03:37 It was going to be one of these riverboat tours. 03:41 One of these double- decker boats and we 03:45 were looking forward to the day that we 03:49 could take that ride on the boat. 03:51 They told us that we can each take a 03:53 friend with us. My brother, he could 03:56 have one of his older friends and I can have 03:58 one of my young friends and so that 04:01 day finally came, we were excited and we 04:05 wanted to be on that upper deck of that 04:07 double-decker boat. So we could see what was 04:11 going on, my parents, they were gonna stay 04:12 down quietly just enjoying the passing 04:16 scenery down in the lower deck. 04:18 Well my brother and his friend, they were at 04:21 the kind of the far end of the boat and 04:24 so we were enjoying the ride. 04:27 And then all of a sudden these three rough 04:32 kind of tough looking youths just walked 04:36 quickly towards us. My little friend and I and 04:40 there they were upset because I supposedly 04:46 had thrown a paper cup down on top of them. 04:49 I didn't even have a paper cup, 04:52 I didn't throw it down on them. 04:54 I didn't know what they were talking about, 04:55 but they were upset. And they made it very 04:58 clear to me, we're gonna go find some 05:01 of our friends and we're gonna throw 05:03 you overboard. Oh! Here I was, 05:08 can you imagine just a few minutes into 05:11 this boat ride that we've all been looking 05:13 forward to it and now I'm being threatened 05:15 while they went down to look for their friends 05:17 and I made a be line for my big brother. 05:21 I told him what had happened and 05:23 found out that it was my brother who dropped 05:25 the cup of all things down and I was the 05:28 one getting accused for it, so my brother 05:30 said we better get down with dad okay 05:34 and I agreed. Let's get with dad. 05:36 So we went down there and we told 05:39 dad what was happening and he 05:42 said oh just stay with me, so its, its gonna 05:46 be okay. You know they're probably just 05:48 upset and you know we'll be fine, 05:50 just stay here till things calm down, so we did, 05:54 we stayed there. And we had our chairs 05:58 just sitting along the edge and I was sitting 06:01 right there next to dad. And all of a sudden 06:04 I had this feeling and I don't know if you've 06:06 ever experienced it, maybe you have. 06:08 You know, you can tell somebody is looking 06:11 at you. Not because we have eyes in the back 06:14 our head, but because somehow you can feel 06:16 like somebody is staring at you. 06:18 And when I turned around and I looked 06:22 back there were ten somebodies staring at me. 06:27 Ten sets of eyes and some of those some bodies 06:32 were bigger then my dad. And the biggest 06:38 one said to me and he looked right at me 06:41 and he said we're gonna throw you overboard. 06:46 Oh, even when I say the story all those years 06:52 ago my heart still speeds up a little bit, 06:55 because I'll tell you that day when that 06:58 big roughen said that to me, my heart 07:02 started pounding. But something very 07:05 amazing happened then, right at that moment, 07:08 when he said that my dad stood up, 07:13 I mean it was immediate. 07:16 He stood up and he turned and he face 07:20 those ten rough teenagers. 07:23 And here's what he said I'll never forget it. 07:26 You'll have to go through me first. 07:30 Oh! What words to an 8 or 9-year-old 07:35 who already thinks that their dad is the 07:37 strongest man in the world. 07:38 And I had to tell you I was raised on a 07:41 farm growing up as a boy and my dad 07:44 was a powerful man. He's 81-years-old 07:47 now and you know he's not so powerful anymore. 07:51 It's a blessing now to be able to reciprocate 07:54 and to take care of him. Now in his older age, 07:57 but you know at that time in my life my dad 08:01 was my hero and he was a strong man. 08:03 He was physically strong, but in my 08:05 eyes as in many little boys eyes, 08:07 dad is a strongest man and so when 08:10 he stood up and said you'll have to go 08:11 through me first. Wow! That's my dad. 08:16 Well I tell you, thankfully not one 08:19 of those roughens took the challenge 08:23 of my father. And I have to believe as 08:26 I looked back that it was because of the 08:28 grace of God and because of the angels 08:31 of the Lord intervening and so 08:34 we're able to enjoy the rest of that boat trip. 08:38 But why do I bring up the story to, to 08:41 say something nice about my dad well 08:43 it's a nice memory. But there's something 08:45 very important in preserving the family. 08:48 My dad had a message for those 08:50 rough teenagers. And that is that I'm gonna 08:54 do whatever I need to do to protect my family. 08:57 You know I believe dads should be heroes today. 09:01 I believe that they should be protecting 09:04 and preserving the family. 09:06 I believe we men need to be in that position 09:10 and again if you find yourself out there 09:12 as a single parent, mother, who doesn't 09:17 have someone to stand by your side. 09:18 God wants to be there to help you preserve 09:21 your family. The question is, are we 09:24 asking, or are we saying like my father 09:29 said that day, you'll have to go through 09:32 me first. Is that what's really happening 09:36 in our families or has the devil stolen 09:39 a march in your home. Has he come in 09:43 and has he begun to ravage your family 09:46 without you even making a resistance, 09:49 without you even saying you're gonna 09:51 have to go through me first. 09:52 You're not gonna get to my family. 09:55 You're not gonna take over this home 09:57 without first coming through me in the 10:01 grace of the Lord. Is home a refugee. 10:05 Is your home a safe environment 10:09 for your children. Is it a safe place for 10:13 the marriage to grow. Is it a refugee to 10:16 come home to. Do you know what's happening 10:19 there on the Internet? Do you really know 10:24 what's happening when your children 10:28 are sitting there in front of the computer. 10:30 Do you know what they are doing? 10:31 Do you know what they're seeing? 10:33 Do you what they're listening to, 10:34 when they have those walkmans on 10:36 and those iPods today. Do you know what's 10:39 really going into their head and into their heart. 10:43 What about the television? Yes, 10:46 you're watching the television right now, 10:48 and I hope it's edifying and encouraging 10:51 you today, but are you saying you have 10:54 to go through me first for the things 10:57 that are coming in to your home through 10:59 the television. Are you preserving the family? 11:03 What about the telephone? Are you 11:06 really aware of what your young people 11:09 are talking about on the telephone? 11:11 Are you aware of what they're learning? 11:14 Are you preserving your family? 11:17 You know it's a tragic thing that the kind 11:22 of ministry work that we do in restoring 11:24 individuals and families to the Lord Jesus Christ. 11:27 We hear a lot of very powerful stories 11:31 of God's life changing ability, transforming 11:34 power in the life, but we also hear 11:36 a lot of very tragic stories. One father 11:41 and mother came to us and they said 11:43 you know our son, we thought he was doing 11:45 home work projects on the computer 11:48 he had to look up things on the Internet and, 11:50 and we're quite certain that's the 11:52 way it started, but for six months 11:55 we found out only recently when we 11:58 caught him. We found out the things 12:02 that he had been watching on the Internet 12:05 that had nothing to do with his school work. 12:09 Morally life and mind destroying things 12:14 on that Internet. Do you really know 12:18 what your young people are taking in 12:21 when they're involved in these different 12:24 medias that are so readily available, 12:27 are we as parents truly preserving our families? 12:33 What about the associations that 12:36 our young people are involved in. 12:37 We do seminars all over the world in churches 12:41 and you know one of the things that 12:43 we observe and we observe it for two 12:47 reasons. One, because we have such an 12:49 earnest desire for the families to be 12:52 preserved in Jesus Christ, in the church, 12:56 in the nation. We have such a desire 12:58 and secondly, because we have children of 13:02 our own. And we know what God has called 13:04 us to do in preserving our own family and 13:07 so often, almost in every situation, we, 13:11 when we're at churches or at places where 13:15 we do seminars we often see the children 13:18 running wild, running free. 13:23 It's a gathering place and they're taking off 13:26 with the children of other, other people's 13:29 children and the parents don't know 13:32 what they're learning. And we hear some of 13:34 the sad stories of what is picked up in 13:37 some of these associations. 13:38 Do you know what your children are doing? 13:42 Do you know where your children are? 13:44 Do you know what they're learning from 13:46 these young associates? I hope that you do 13:51 and you're preserving your family. 13:54 I had one gentleman come to me. 13:56 We were involved in one of our family camps 14:00 and he came to me and said, can we go 14:02 for a walk, I need to talk to you about 14:05 a situation. And so we went for a walk. 14:07 Quite a long walk actually and he said 14:08 you know my daughter has given 14:12 us all kinds of problems and we see the problem 14:15 skimming primarily from associations 14:18 she's having with two young people 14:20 at the church. What shall I do? 14:24 And I said, well I first of all I can't tell 14:26 you what to do, I don't know the whole 14:28 situation, but what you're describing to 14:31 me and the symptoms that you're seeing, 14:33 I'll tell you what I would do as a parent 14:36 understanding what you're describing. 14:39 I said I would pull back that association. 14:43 I would cut back that association. 14:47 I would give my time, your wife and you 14:50 to give time to replace that association 14:54 with position association with yourself, with your 14:57 family, rebuild the connection between you 15:02 and your daughter and then govern those 15:04 outside associations in a family setting, 15:07 not just leaving your daughter to run with 15:12 those youths that are having problems. 15:14 He said but I can't do that. If I, if I cut off 15:18 that associations, she'll rebel. 15:20 She might even leave home. I said if you're 15:24 that nervous about your daughter response 15:27 to you drawing a clear boundary to protect 15:29 her I said then she's already in rebellion. 15:31 I said what she needs is to know that 15:34 you care enough to stop her, that you 15:37 love her enough to stop. He said I'm 15:40 afraid to do it. I'm afraid of what might 15:42 happen. And for those of you out there 15:45 today that maybe afraid of drawing a 15:46 clear boundary, please don't be afraid, 15:49 that's what our young people are calling for. 15:51 But the clear boundary must be drawn with 15:53 principles and it must be drawn in 15:55 the strength of Jesus Christ and part of 15:57 what must replace, what we take away 16:00 must be us. One of the greatest blessings 16:03 that my wife Elaine and I have learned 16:06 in our parenting is that we must first be 16:08 willing to give ourselves to our children. 16:12 You know as we give ourselves first to 16:16 our children. Then we can give them the 16:19 things that they need. The positive and the 16:21 negative, we can give them the boundaries 16:23 that are given to us through the word 16:24 of God, but we need to give ourselves. 16:27 Time to listen, time to be there for them. 16:30 You know that man was afraid to make 16:32 that step and his daughter came to 16:34 my wife and I later and she said all 16:36 I was looking for was for my father to be 16:39 strong enough to draw a line and pull me 16:42 out this association, I don't know how to 16:44 get out of it. I'm under peer pressure, 16:46 I need my dad to help me break away from 16:49 a very difficult and uncomfortable situation. 16:53 I hope that you'll hear the cry of your 16:56 young people, it doesn't always sound 16:59 that way. Sometimes the cry comes in a 17:01 very different way. But listen to the cry, 17:04 go to the Lord and say Lord, help me to 17:07 recognize what you're asking me to do to 17:10 preserve the family, to keep that which is 17:13 committed to my trust. I wanna share a very 17:16 positive experience, a lady came to me 17:18 after a seminar and she said. 17:20 I've got a question for you. 17:22 She said my son is seven-years-old 17:23 I wanna know, she came quite strong. 17:26 She said I wanna know what you would do 17:29 if you were in my position? Then I said, 17:31 well then I wanna make it very clear 17:34 that you wanna know what I would do in 17:37 your situation that I'm not telling you 17:39 what you need to do. But I'll tell you what 17:42 I would do if I were in this situation. 17:45 So she told me her whole story. 17:47 She said my son is seven-year-old, 17:49 he's been involved in a paper route, 17:52 he wants to make money and that's great. 17:54 He been evolved in the paper route with 17:57 two older boys and she said you know 18:01 he comes home and every time 18:03 he comes home from that delivery. 18:05 It seems like he's picked up some other 18:08 attitudes that are not positive and he 18:11 becomes more resistive and she said 18:14 you know it concerns me, so what should I do? 18:17 I said well again I'm not gonna tell you 18:19 what you should do, but I'll tell you from 18:21 what you've described to me, if I were in 18:23 your situation I would pull your son, 18:27 if he was my son. I pull my seven-year-old 18:30 son off the paper route tomorrow. 18:33 Oh! She said I knew you were gonna say that. 18:37 I knew you were gonna say that. 18:38 If I pull him off the paper route then 18:41 the mother of those two boys who I know 18:43 is gonna think that I think my son's better 18:46 than they are and I'm holier than they all 18:49 and they're gonna get really upset. 18:51 And she's gonna get upset at me. 18:52 I knew you were gonna say that. 18:54 I said well you asked what I would do. 18:57 Yes, I know I did but, but I just knew you 18:59 were gonna say that. I said well, you know 19:03 I have leave you with the Lord then to do 19:05 what God is asking you do. 19:08 Well I got a letter from this lady. 19:10 A few weeks later. In the first paragraph 19:14 it opened up and she was telling me 19:16 how upset she was of what I told her and that, 19:19 that I was telling her that she had to take 19:21 her son off the paper route and I thought 19:22 oh Lord, I don't like these kind of letters. 19:24 But you know the next paragraph 19:26 it all changed. She said one night I got 19:30 on my knees and I was under such conviction 19:32 that I just opened my heart to God and 19:34 I said I realize God I've been kicking against 19:37 the pricks. It's not what Tom Waters said, 19:40 its what you've been trying to tell me, 19:42 Lord, I'm finally willing, I'll do whatever you 19:45 ask me to do. Just tell me what should 19:47 I do Lord. Well she said, the Lord told me 19:50 to take my son off the paper route. 19:52 She said I did and she said you know what 19:55 she said in that letter. She said when I took 19:58 my son off the paper route the first thing 20:01 he said to me is thank you mother. 20:03 Thank you for doing that. I was under 20:06 such a negative influence and I didn't 20:09 know how to handle that influence with 20:11 these bigger boys. Thank you for being 20:13 willing to take me from that paper route. 20:16 And then she said can you believe that 20:19 in a few days I got a call from the mother 20:22 of those two boys and she said to me 20:25 thank you for having the courage to make 20:28 the decision that you made, because now 20:30 I'm gonna start dealing with my boys, 20:33 because of your example and being 20:36 willing to do what you did with your son. 20:38 Well I tell you that's, that's encouraging. 20:42 We need to preserve our families. 20:44 God is calling us to do whatever we need 20:48 to do to preserve our families. 20:49 I ask my young people, what has 20:54 God done in our family to really preserve 20:56 our family? What has made the difference? 20:58 And I asked them each individually 21:01 and separately, so that there wouldn't 21:03 be any influence. At the time I asked 21:05 them this question, my eldest daughter 21:07 who is now 24. I asked her when 21:10 she was 18-years-old, without any hesitation. 21:13 No, no chance to think through the 21:15 question. I said I just wanna get your 21:17 first response. She said this to me, 21:19 she said you've used wise sheltering. 21:24 I never heard the term before. 21:26 Wise sheltering. What, I said Alison, 21:29 what do you mean by wise sheltering? 21:31 She said you have sheltered us from 21:36 the bad and you have showered us 21:40 with the good. Oh my heart just lead 21:44 for joy when I heard this. 21:45 This was not something that I said 21:47 you know I'm gonna ask you this question. 21:49 I want you to think on it for a few days 21:51 and comeback and give me an answer. 21:52 She came back with that response in less 21:56 than 30 seconds and I just praised the Lord, 21:59 because I asked her right out of the blue. 22:00 What do I mean by wise sheltering, 22:04 and what did she mean by wise sheltering? 22:07 Well I wanna give you an example. 22:09 We had a man in our home. 22:10 First time he'd ever been in our home 22:12 and we didn't know the man, 22:16 he was there, we were working through 22:17 some things that he had some needs 22:19 and he was sharing with us and he was 22:23 telling a story that involved our former 22:28 President Bill Clinton and as he was telling 22:31 a story. He was becoming very graphic 22:33 and he was talking about some of the problems 22:36 and some of the moral dilemmas. 22:38 Dilemmas that our former President was 22:40 involved in. And I could tell that where 22:43 he was headed. He was going to say 22:46 something very graphic that the years of 22:48 my three young people did not need to hear. 22:52 And the Lord called to me to stop him. 22:55 Now that's very embarrassing, that's rude, 22:58 but here he was in my home, he's beginning 23:01 to head down the track that I know. 23:03 Not because I'm a mind reader, but I can tell, 23:05 I can tell exactly where he was going. 23:07 The Lord called to me, stop him. 23:09 Now here's the question parents. 23:11 Are we gonna honor God or are we gonna 23:15 try to honor this person, not make 23:17 them feel bad and dishonor God and 23:20 bring the approach upon those that God 23:23 is asking us to preserve first in your own home. 23:26 Well by faith I turned to the man and 23:31 I said stop, don't speak another word. 23:35 You should have seen the expression 23:36 on his face. I said can we just step outside 23:41 for a moment. I'd like to just speak to you. 23:43 I know this is difficult, this is embarrassing, 23:46 we stepped outside and I took that man 23:48 for a walk, down our road, up in the 23:50 mountains. We walked together and I began 23:52 to tell him what I had given in order 23:56 to preserve my family. I told him the 24:00 commitment that I made to God for my girls 24:02 and for my son. And you know as I talked 24:06 to that man the tears began to stream 24:08 down his face. He said I didn't know. 24:11 I didn't know that there could be moral 24:14 purity in young people in this generation. 24:17 He said, praise God that you stopped me 24:21 from saying exactly what you knew 24:23 I was gonna say and to defile the ears 24:26 of your young people who did not need to 24:28 hear that filthiness. Thank you for being 24:33 willing to stand for your family. 24:36 It encourages me. Well, I ask Emily. 24:40 Emily what, what is, what is God doing. 24:44 What has he done to preserve our family. 24:45 And Emily said, its our communication. 24:49 Emily at that time was 16-years-old, 24:51 she is 22 now. It's our communication. 24:54 We've always had communication. 24:55 We can always come to you no matter 24:57 what it is. No matter how hard it is. 24:59 No matter what we've done, we can 25:00 communicate and we will work through it 25:03 and we will always find the principles in 25:06 God's word and live them out practically. 25:08 It's our communication together that has 25:12 made the difference the blessing. 25:16 And then I went to our son. What is it son? 25:20 And at that time he was 13-years-old, 25:22 he is 19 now. I said what is it? 25:25 He said you have spend time with us. 25:29 You give us your time, so that we 25:32 don't desire the things of the world. 25:37 Parents, I wanna just encourage you today, 25:40 give time, give yourself. Give what only you can 25:48 give in Jesus Christ to reach the hearts of 25:51 your children. Recently, we were visiting in a 25:56 home and the man there who was quite, 25:59 well off said you know, Tom, you're a very, 26:04 very rich man. He said you have the hearts 26:08 of your children. You can't put a price on 26:11 that in today's society. You have the hearts 26:15 of your children. He said I long to have 26:17 the hearts of my children. He said 26:19 you're a rich man. And I tell you friends, 26:22 it will not happen by accident. 26:24 If we're going to preserve our families 26:26 in Jesus Christ they must become our first 26:30 mission field. Whether you're a Christian 26:33 or a non-Christian if you wanna preserve 26:35 your family, you must take time. 26:37 Time to communicate, time to give yourself 26:41 to what matters most, time to work through 26:44 discipline, time to develop boundaries 26:48 that are meaningful, boundaries that are 26:50 based on the word of God. 26:51 If we will give ourselves to our children, 26:54 God will preserve our families. 26:56 God wants to be able to say to us well done. 27:01 Shall we just ask God to bless our families 27:03 as we close. Father in heaven, 27:06 we need your blessing in order to make the 27:09 difference in preserving our families. 27:11 We do wanna hear the words well done. 27:13 We want to be there with our young people 27:16 to enter your kingdom for eternal life. 27:18 Please give us the wisdom and understanding 27:21 as parents to know how to preserve our 27:24 families through Jesus Christ we pray, amen. 27:29 Oh what a blessing privilege we have. 27:33 You know the world may scoff at you. 27:36 Even your church if you're a church 27:38 attendee. Your church may scoff at you. 27:42 If you're a non-Christian today they may call 27:44 you a fool for doing the things that you 27:46 need to do to preserve your family, 27:48 but your children will rise up and call 27:51 you blessed. God bless you 27:54 as you preserve your family. |
Revised 2014-12-17