Welcome to Faith Chapel, 00:00:31.37\00:00:33.07 I'm Tom Waters with Restoration International. 00:00:33.08\00:00:36.02 Today we're gonna be talking about something 00:00:36.03\00:00:38.36 that is vitally important. 00:00:38.37\00:00:40.70 Something that unfortunately is slipping 00:00:40.71\00:00:44.44 away in the world, something that is 00:00:44.45\00:00:48.54 being deceptively stolen even from our 00:00:48.55\00:00:52.20 churches and something that parents sadly 00:00:52.21\00:00:58.30 are trading away for busy, pressure-filled 00:00:58.31\00:01:03.77 lifestyles. What I'm talking about today 00:01:03.78\00:01:07.44 is preserving the family. Is that important? 00:01:07.45\00:01:12.15 You know we live in a world that is made up 00:01:12.16\00:01:15.88 of families and we have a church that's made 00:01:15.89\00:01:20.25 up of families. And the devils wants to destroy 00:01:20.26\00:01:24.70 in every way possible. He wants the destruction 00:01:24.71\00:01:28.63 of the family. And unfortunately, sadly, 00:01:28.64\00:01:31.14 we see many of the evidences of the family 00:01:31.15\00:01:35.79 being broken and beginning to crumble. 00:01:35.80\00:01:39.41 It affects every part of our world today. 00:01:39.42\00:01:42.38 You know the Apostle Paul in First Timothy, 00:01:42.39\00:01:45.98 he pleased with us as parents. 00:01:45.99\00:01:48.89 He says keep that which is committed 00:01:48.90\00:01:52.04 to the trust. If there is any trust that we 00:01:52.05\00:01:54.95 have as parents today. It is the trust of these 00:01:54.96\00:01:59.51 children God has give to us. And he is calling 00:01:59.52\00:02:02.95 to us to keep that trust and the only 00:02:02.96\00:02:04.86 way we can keep that trust is as we 00:02:04.87\00:02:07.70 keep our trust in God our heavenly Father. 00:02:07.71\00:02:11.54 You know you may find yourself today. 00:02:11.55\00:02:14.11 There maybe someone that is struggling 00:02:14.12\00:02:17.76 with preserving your family, because you've 00:02:17.77\00:02:20.54 been left in a difficult situation. 00:02:20.55\00:02:22.63 You've been left as a single parent. 00:02:22.64\00:02:26.65 I tell you that Jesus Christ wants to be a 00:02:26.66\00:02:31.98 husband to the single parent. 00:02:31.99\00:02:34.33 To the single mother who is struggling. 00:02:34.34\00:02:36.93 Jesus wants to be a father to those children, 00:02:36.94\00:02:41.17 and I can tell you today that we know 00:02:41.18\00:02:45.12 of many situations that have tragic 00:02:45.13\00:02:48.01 circumstance that have painful and difficult 00:02:48.02\00:02:51.07 circumstances, but when that single parent. 00:02:51.08\00:02:55.55 Whether that's a father or a mother. 00:02:55.56\00:02:58.13 In those situations we know many people 00:02:58.14\00:03:01.45 today that are preserving their 00:03:01.46\00:03:03.53 family in spite of the difficult circumstances. 00:03:03.54\00:03:06.40 And those of who that, that have a 00:03:06.41\00:03:08.99 very blessed marriage union. Are you really 00:03:09.00\00:03:13.23 preserving your family? Are you allowing God 00:03:13.24\00:03:17.17 to work in your home in such a way that 00:03:17.18\00:03:20.27 you're keeping the family close together, 00:03:20.28\00:03:23.17 that you have the hearts of your children. 00:03:23.18\00:03:26.34 I remember when I was a boy of 8 or 9-years-old 00:03:26.35\00:03:30.56 my brother who is seven years older then me. 00:03:30.57\00:03:34.24 We were given something to look forward to. 00:03:34.25\00:03:37.78 It was going to be one of these riverboat tours. 00:03:37.79\00:03:41.26 One of these double- decker boats and we 00:03:41.27\00:03:45.81 were looking forward to the day that we 00:03:45.82\00:03:49.05 could take that ride on the boat. 00:03:49.06\00:03:51.04 They told us that we can each take a 00:03:51.05\00:03:53.84 friend with us. My brother, he could 00:03:53.85\00:03:56.34 have one of his older friends and I can have 00:03:56.35\00:03:58.79 one of my young friends and so that 00:03:58.80\00:04:01.39 day finally came, we were excited and we 00:04:01.40\00:04:05.37 wanted to be on that upper deck of that 00:04:05.38\00:04:07.46 double-decker boat. So we could see what was 00:04:07.47\00:04:10.99 going on, my parents, they were gonna stay 00:04:11.00\00:04:12.89 down quietly just enjoying the passing 00:04:12.90\00:04:16.01 scenery down in the lower deck. 00:04:16.02\00:04:18.12 Well my brother and his friend, they were at 00:04:18.13\00:04:21.57 the kind of the far end of the boat and 00:04:21.58\00:04:24.34 so we were enjoying the ride. 00:04:24.35\00:04:27.61 And then all of a sudden these three rough 00:04:27.62\00:04:32.76 kind of tough looking youths just walked 00:04:32.77\00:04:36.02 quickly towards us. My little friend and I and 00:04:36.03\00:04:40.39 there they were upset because I supposedly 00:04:40.40\00:04:46.35 had thrown a paper cup down on top of them. 00:04:46.36\00:04:49.79 I didn't even have a paper cup, 00:04:49.80\00:04:51.99 I didn't throw it down on them. 00:04:52.00\00:04:54.08 I didn't know what they were talking about, 00:04:54.09\00:04:55.80 but they were upset. And they made it very 00:04:55.81\00:04:58.60 clear to me, we're gonna go find some 00:04:58.61\00:05:01.35 of our friends and we're gonna throw 00:05:01.36\00:05:03.44 you overboard. Oh! Here I was, 00:05:03.45\00:05:08.53 can you imagine just a few minutes into 00:05:08.54\00:05:11.09 this boat ride that we've all been looking 00:05:11.10\00:05:13.28 forward to it and now I'm being threatened 00:05:13.29\00:05:15.67 while they went down to look for their friends 00:05:15.68\00:05:17.22 and I made a be line for my big brother. 00:05:17.23\00:05:21.16 I told him what had happened and 00:05:21.17\00:05:23.03 found out that it was my brother who dropped 00:05:23.04\00:05:25.51 the cup of all things down and I was the 00:05:25.52\00:05:28.61 one getting accused for it, so my brother 00:05:28.62\00:05:30.93 said we better get down with dad okay 00:05:30.94\00:05:34.24 and I agreed. Let's get with dad. 00:05:34.25\00:05:36.78 So we went down there and we told 00:05:36.79\00:05:39.58 dad what was happening and he 00:05:39.59\00:05:42.14 said oh just stay with me, so its, its gonna 00:05:42.15\00:05:46.31 be okay. You know they're probably just 00:05:46.32\00:05:48.05 upset and you know we'll be fine, 00:05:48.06\00:05:50.42 just stay here till things calm down, so we did, 00:05:50.43\00:05:54.64 we stayed there. And we had our chairs 00:05:54.65\00:05:58.42 just sitting along the edge and I was sitting 00:05:58.43\00:06:01.28 right there next to dad. And all of a sudden 00:06:01.29\00:06:04.48 I had this feeling and I don't know if you've 00:06:04.49\00:06:06.84 ever experienced it, maybe you have. 00:06:06.85\00:06:08.71 You know, you can tell somebody is looking 00:06:08.72\00:06:11.62 at you. Not because we have eyes in the back 00:06:11.63\00:06:14.69 our head, but because somehow you can feel 00:06:14.70\00:06:16.68 like somebody is staring at you. 00:06:16.69\00:06:18.69 And when I turned around and I looked 00:06:18.70\00:06:22.00 back there were ten somebodies staring at me. 00:06:22.01\00:06:27.41 Ten sets of eyes and some of those some bodies 00:06:27.42\00:06:32.34 were bigger then my dad. And the biggest 00:06:32.35\00:06:38.02 one said to me and he looked right at me 00:06:38.03\00:06:41.36 and he said we're gonna throw you overboard. 00:06:41.37\00:06:46.18 Oh, even when I say the story all those years 00:06:46.19\00:06:52.60 ago my heart still speeds up a little bit, 00:06:52.61\00:06:54.97 because I'll tell you that day when that 00:06:54.98\00:06:58.09 big roughen said that to me, my heart 00:06:58.10\00:07:02.32 started pounding. But something very 00:07:02.33\00:07:05.84 amazing happened then, right at that moment, 00:07:05.85\00:07:08.92 when he said that my dad stood up, 00:07:08.93\00:07:13.36 I mean it was immediate. 00:07:13.37\00:07:16.24 He stood up and he turned and he face 00:07:16.25\00:07:20.04 those ten rough teenagers. 00:07:20.05\00:07:23.91 And here's what he said I'll never forget it. 00:07:23.92\00:07:26.75 You'll have to go through me first. 00:07:26.76\00:07:30.66 Oh! What words to an 8 or 9-year-old 00:07:30.67\00:07:35.38 who already thinks that their dad is the 00:07:35.39\00:07:37.51 strongest man in the world. 00:07:37.52\00:07:38.91 And I had to tell you I was raised on a 00:07:38.92\00:07:41.75 farm growing up as a boy and my dad 00:07:41.76\00:07:44.96 was a powerful man. He's 81-years-old 00:07:44.97\00:07:47.29 now and you know he's not so powerful anymore. 00:07:47.30\00:07:51.39 It's a blessing now to be able to reciprocate 00:07:51.40\00:07:54.06 and to take care of him. Now in his older age, 00:07:54.07\00:07:57.83 but you know at that time in my life my dad 00:07:57.84\00:08:01.01 was my hero and he was a strong man. 00:08:01.02\00:08:03.87 He was physically strong, but in my 00:08:03.88\00:08:05.48 eyes as in many little boys eyes, 00:08:05.49\00:08:07.31 dad is a strongest man and so when 00:08:07.32\00:08:10.23 he stood up and said you'll have to go 00:08:10.24\00:08:11.74 through me first. Wow! That's my dad. 00:08:11.75\00:08:16.19 Well I tell you, thankfully not one 00:08:16.20\00:08:19.74 of those roughens took the challenge 00:08:19.75\00:08:23.48 of my father. And I have to believe as 00:08:23.49\00:08:26.76 I looked back that it was because of the 00:08:26.77\00:08:28.29 grace of God and because of the angels 00:08:28.30\00:08:31.25 of the Lord intervening and so 00:08:31.26\00:08:34.84 we're able to enjoy the rest of that boat trip. 00:08:34.85\00:08:38.76 But why do I bring up the story to, to 00:08:38.77\00:08:41.32 say something nice about my dad well 00:08:41.33\00:08:43.17 it's a nice memory. But there's something 00:08:43.18\00:08:45.74 very important in preserving the family. 00:08:45.75\00:08:48.15 My dad had a message for those 00:08:48.16\00:08:50.92 rough teenagers. And that is that I'm gonna 00:08:50.93\00:08:54.38 do whatever I need to do to protect my family. 00:08:54.39\00:08:57.81 You know I believe dads should be heroes today. 00:08:57.82\00:09:01.35 I believe that they should be protecting 00:09:01.36\00:09:04.62 and preserving the family. 00:09:04.63\00:09:06.58 I believe we men need to be in that position 00:09:06.59\00:09:10.24 and again if you find yourself out there 00:09:10.25\00:09:12.79 as a single parent, mother, who doesn't 00:09:12.80\00:09:17.18 have someone to stand by your side. 00:09:17.19\00:09:18.77 God wants to be there to help you preserve 00:09:18.78\00:09:21.22 your family. The question is, are we 00:09:21.23\00:09:24.43 asking, or are we saying like my father 00:09:24.44\00:09:29.42 said that day, you'll have to go through 00:09:29.43\00:09:32.80 me first. Is that what's really happening 00:09:32.81\00:09:36.49 in our families or has the devil stolen 00:09:36.50\00:09:39.04 a march in your home. Has he come in 00:09:39.05\00:09:43.06 and has he begun to ravage your family 00:09:43.07\00:09:46.31 without you even making a resistance, 00:09:46.32\00:09:49.44 without you even saying you're gonna 00:09:49.45\00:09:51.43 have to go through me first. 00:09:51.44\00:09:52.67 You're not gonna get to my family. 00:09:52.68\00:09:55.17 You're not gonna take over this home 00:09:55.18\00:09:57.90 without first coming through me in the 00:09:57.91\00:10:01.61 grace of the Lord. Is home a refugee. 00:10:01.62\00:10:05.51 Is your home a safe environment 00:10:05.52\00:10:09.87 for your children. Is it a safe place for 00:10:09.88\00:10:13.91 the marriage to grow. Is it a refugee to 00:10:13.92\00:10:16.09 come home to. Do you know what's happening 00:10:16.10\00:10:19.66 there on the Internet? Do you really know 00:10:19.67\00:10:24.96 what's happening when your children 00:10:24.97\00:10:28.92 are sitting there in front of the computer. 00:10:28.93\00:10:30.29 Do you know what they are doing? 00:10:30.30\00:10:31.78 Do you know what they're seeing? 00:10:31.79\00:10:33.41 Do you what they're listening to, 00:10:33.42\00:10:34.94 when they have those walkmans on 00:10:34.95\00:10:36.82 and those iPods today. Do you know what's 00:10:36.83\00:10:39.47 really going into their head and into their heart. 00:10:39.48\00:10:42.35 What about the television? Yes, 00:10:43.68\00:10:46.44 you're watching the television right now, 00:10:46.45\00:10:48.65 and I hope it's edifying and encouraging 00:10:48.66\00:10:51.28 you today, but are you saying you have 00:10:51.29\00:10:54.59 to go through me first for the things 00:10:54.60\00:10:57.19 that are coming in to your home through 00:10:57.20\00:10:59.43 the television. Are you preserving the family? 00:10:59.44\00:11:03.21 What about the telephone? Are you 00:11:03.22\00:11:06.49 really aware of what your young people 00:11:06.50\00:11:09.53 are talking about on the telephone? 00:11:09.54\00:11:11.58 Are you aware of what they're learning? 00:11:11.59\00:11:14.00 Are you preserving your family? 00:11:14.01\00:11:17.18 You know it's a tragic thing that the kind 00:11:17.19\00:11:22.06 of ministry work that we do in restoring 00:11:22.07\00:11:24.83 individuals and families to the Lord Jesus Christ. 00:11:24.84\00:11:27.73 We hear a lot of very powerful stories 00:11:27.74\00:11:31.68 of God's life changing ability, transforming 00:11:31.69\00:11:34.80 power in the life, but we also hear 00:11:34.81\00:11:36.40 a lot of very tragic stories. One father 00:11:36.41\00:11:41.45 and mother came to us and they said 00:11:41.46\00:11:43.03 you know our son, we thought he was doing 00:11:43.04\00:11:45.92 home work projects on the computer 00:11:45.93\00:11:48.57 he had to look up things on the Internet and, 00:11:48.58\00:11:50.49 and we're quite certain that's the 00:11:50.50\00:11:52.51 way it started, but for six months 00:11:52.52\00:11:55.60 we found out only recently when we 00:11:55.61\00:11:58.49 caught him. We found out the things 00:11:58.50\00:12:02.59 that he had been watching on the Internet 00:12:02.60\00:12:05.21 that had nothing to do with his school work. 00:12:05.22\00:12:09.34 Morally life and mind destroying things 00:12:09.35\00:12:14.45 on that Internet. Do you really know 00:12:14.46\00:12:18.66 what your young people are taking in 00:12:18.67\00:12:21.76 when they're involved in these different 00:12:21.77\00:12:24.86 medias that are so readily available, 00:12:24.87\00:12:27.26 are we as parents truly preserving our families? 00:12:27.27\00:12:33.75 What about the associations that 00:12:33.76\00:12:35.99 our young people are involved in. 00:12:36.00\00:12:37.63 We do seminars all over the world in churches 00:12:37.64\00:12:41.70 and you know one of the things that 00:12:41.71\00:12:43.64 we observe and we observe it for two 00:12:43.65\00:12:46.98 reasons. One, because we have such an 00:12:46.99\00:12:49.83 earnest desire for the families to be 00:12:49.84\00:12:52.38 preserved in Jesus Christ, in the church, 00:12:52.39\00:12:56.00 in the nation. We have such a desire 00:12:56.01\00:12:58.66 and secondly, because we have children of 00:12:58.67\00:13:02.04 our own. And we know what God has called 00:13:02.05\00:13:04.31 us to do in preserving our own family and 00:13:04.32\00:13:07.79 so often, almost in every situation, we, 00:13:07.80\00:13:11.61 when we're at churches or at places where 00:13:11.62\00:13:15.43 we do seminars we often see the children 00:13:15.44\00:13:18.68 running wild, running free. 00:13:18.69\00:13:23.41 It's a gathering place and they're taking off 00:13:23.42\00:13:26.58 with the children of other, other people's 00:13:26.59\00:13:29.52 children and the parents don't know 00:13:29.53\00:13:32.05 what they're learning. And we hear some of 00:13:32.06\00:13:34.72 the sad stories of what is picked up in 00:13:34.73\00:13:37.03 some of these associations. 00:13:37.04\00:13:38.70 Do you know what your children are doing? 00:13:38.71\00:13:42.12 Do you know where your children are? 00:13:42.13\00:13:44.52 Do you know what they're learning from 00:13:44.53\00:13:46.52 these young associates? I hope that you do 00:13:46.53\00:13:51.95 and you're preserving your family. 00:13:51.96\00:13:54.19 I had one gentleman come to me. 00:13:54.20\00:13:56.34 We were involved in one of our family camps 00:13:56.35\00:14:00.35 and he came to me and said, can we go 00:14:00.36\00:14:02.57 for a walk, I need to talk to you about 00:14:02.58\00:14:05.12 a situation. And so we went for a walk. 00:14:05.13\00:14:07.00 Quite a long walk actually and he said 00:14:07.01\00:14:08.91 you know my daughter has given 00:14:08.92\00:14:12.36 us all kinds of problems and we see the problem 00:14:12.37\00:14:15.20 skimming primarily from associations 00:14:15.21\00:14:18.91 she's having with two young people 00:14:18.92\00:14:20.76 at the church. What shall I do? 00:14:20.77\00:14:24.12 And I said, well I first of all I can't tell 00:14:24.13\00:14:26.34 you what to do, I don't know the whole 00:14:26.35\00:14:28.82 situation, but what you're describing to 00:14:28.83\00:14:31.53 me and the symptoms that you're seeing, 00:14:31.54\00:14:33.68 I'll tell you what I would do as a parent 00:14:33.69\00:14:36.78 understanding what you're describing. 00:14:36.79\00:14:39.29 I said I would pull back that association. 00:14:39.30\00:14:43.81 I would cut back that association. 00:14:43.82\00:14:47.03 I would give my time, your wife and you 00:14:47.04\00:14:50.86 to give time to replace that association 00:14:50.87\00:14:54.11 with position association with yourself, with your 00:14:54.12\00:14:57.50 family, rebuild the connection between you 00:14:57.51\00:15:02.05 and your daughter and then govern those 00:15:02.06\00:15:04.86 outside associations in a family setting, 00:15:04.87\00:15:07.66 not just leaving your daughter to run with 00:15:07.67\00:15:12.26 those youths that are having problems. 00:15:12.27\00:15:14.42 He said but I can't do that. If I, if I cut off 00:15:14.43\00:15:18.01 that associations, she'll rebel. 00:15:18.02\00:15:20.02 She might even leave home. I said if you're 00:15:20.03\00:15:24.22 that nervous about your daughter response 00:15:24.23\00:15:27.46 to you drawing a clear boundary to protect 00:15:27.47\00:15:29.71 her I said then she's already in rebellion. 00:15:29.72\00:15:31.70 I said what she needs is to know that 00:15:31.71\00:15:34.45 you care enough to stop her, that you 00:15:34.46\00:15:37.34 love her enough to stop. He said I'm 00:15:37.35\00:15:40.11 afraid to do it. I'm afraid of what might 00:15:40.12\00:15:42.96 happen. And for those of you out there 00:15:42.97\00:15:45.13 today that maybe afraid of drawing a 00:15:45.14\00:15:46.83 clear boundary, please don't be afraid, 00:15:46.84\00:15:49.38 that's what our young people are calling for. 00:15:49.39\00:15:51.46 But the clear boundary must be drawn with 00:15:51.47\00:15:53.53 principles and it must be drawn in 00:15:53.54\00:15:55.85 the strength of Jesus Christ and part of 00:15:55.86\00:15:57.96 what must replace, what we take away 00:15:57.97\00:16:00.13 must be us. One of the greatest blessings 00:16:00.14\00:16:03.64 that my wife Elaine and I have learned 00:16:03.65\00:16:06.50 in our parenting is that we must first be 00:16:06.51\00:16:08.76 willing to give ourselves to our children. 00:16:08.77\00:16:12.22 You know as we give ourselves first to 00:16:12.23\00:16:16.07 our children. Then we can give them the 00:16:16.08\00:16:19.37 things that they need. The positive and the 00:16:19.38\00:16:21.09 negative, we can give them the boundaries 00:16:21.10\00:16:22.98 that are given to us through the word 00:16:22.99\00:16:24.77 of God, but we need to give ourselves. 00:16:24.78\00:16:27.41 Time to listen, time to be there for them. 00:16:27.42\00:16:30.07 You know that man was afraid to make 00:16:30.08\00:16:32.71 that step and his daughter came to 00:16:32.72\00:16:34.80 my wife and I later and she said all 00:16:34.81\00:16:36.83 I was looking for was for my father to be 00:16:36.84\00:16:39.92 strong enough to draw a line and pull me 00:16:39.93\00:16:42.69 out this association, I don't know how to 00:16:42.70\00:16:44.31 get out of it. I'm under peer pressure, 00:16:44.32\00:16:46.14 I need my dad to help me break away from 00:16:46.15\00:16:49.89 a very difficult and uncomfortable situation. 00:16:49.90\00:16:53.69 I hope that you'll hear the cry of your 00:16:53.70\00:16:56.18 young people, it doesn't always sound 00:16:56.19\00:16:58.97 that way. Sometimes the cry comes in a 00:16:58.98\00:17:01.59 very different way. But listen to the cry, 00:17:01.60\00:17:04.80 go to the Lord and say Lord, help me to 00:17:04.81\00:17:07.39 recognize what you're asking me to do to 00:17:07.40\00:17:10.13 preserve the family, to keep that which is 00:17:10.14\00:17:13.05 committed to my trust. I wanna share a very 00:17:13.06\00:17:16.60 positive experience, a lady came to me 00:17:16.61\00:17:18.44 after a seminar and she said. 00:17:18.45\00:17:20.29 I've got a question for you. 00:17:20.30\00:17:21.99 She said my son is seven-years-old 00:17:22.00\00:17:23.71 I wanna know, she came quite strong. 00:17:23.72\00:17:26.71 She said I wanna know what you would do 00:17:26.72\00:17:29.95 if you were in my position? Then I said, 00:17:29.96\00:17:31.94 well then I wanna make it very clear 00:17:31.95\00:17:34.28 that you wanna know what I would do in 00:17:34.29\00:17:37.32 your situation that I'm not telling you 00:17:37.33\00:17:39.73 what you need to do. But I'll tell you what 00:17:39.74\00:17:42.38 I would do if I were in this situation. 00:17:42.39\00:17:45.85 So she told me her whole story. 00:17:45.86\00:17:47.35 She said my son is seven-year-old, 00:17:47.36\00:17:49.58 he's been involved in a paper route, 00:17:49.59\00:17:52.59 he wants to make money and that's great. 00:17:52.60\00:17:54.91 He been evolved in the paper route with 00:17:54.92\00:17:57.30 two older boys and she said you know 00:17:57.31\00:18:01.36 he comes home and every time 00:18:01.37\00:18:03.32 he comes home from that delivery. 00:18:03.33\00:18:05.65 It seems like he's picked up some other 00:18:05.66\00:18:08.33 attitudes that are not positive and he 00:18:08.34\00:18:11.42 becomes more resistive and she said 00:18:11.43\00:18:14.27 you know it concerns me, so what should I do? 00:18:14.28\00:18:17.38 I said well again I'm not gonna tell you 00:18:17.39\00:18:19.58 what you should do, but I'll tell you from 00:18:19.59\00:18:21.93 what you've described to me, if I were in 00:18:21.94\00:18:23.72 your situation I would pull your son, 00:18:23.73\00:18:27.34 if he was my son. I pull my seven-year-old 00:18:27.35\00:18:30.26 son off the paper route tomorrow. 00:18:30.27\00:18:33.14 Oh! She said I knew you were gonna say that. 00:18:33.15\00:18:37.06 I knew you were gonna say that. 00:18:37.07\00:18:38.96 If I pull him off the paper route then 00:18:38.97\00:18:41.43 the mother of those two boys who I know 00:18:41.44\00:18:43.95 is gonna think that I think my son's better 00:18:43.96\00:18:46.64 than they are and I'm holier than they all 00:18:46.65\00:18:49.27 and they're gonna get really upset. 00:18:49.28\00:18:51.21 And she's gonna get upset at me. 00:18:51.22\00:18:52.76 I knew you were gonna say that. 00:18:52.77\00:18:54.20 I said well you asked what I would do. 00:18:54.21\00:18:57.46 Yes, I know I did but, but I just knew you 00:18:57.47\00:18:59.95 were gonna say that. I said well, you know 00:18:59.96\00:19:03.53 I have leave you with the Lord then to do 00:19:03.54\00:19:05.86 what God is asking you do. 00:19:05.87\00:19:08.11 Well I got a letter from this lady. 00:19:08.12\00:19:10.90 A few weeks later. In the first paragraph 00:19:10.91\00:19:14.41 it opened up and she was telling me 00:19:14.42\00:19:16.03 how upset she was of what I told her and that, 00:19:16.04\00:19:19.31 that I was telling her that she had to take 00:19:19.32\00:19:21.02 her son off the paper route and I thought 00:19:21.03\00:19:22.48 oh Lord, I don't like these kind of letters. 00:19:22.49\00:19:24.91 But you know the next paragraph 00:19:24.92\00:19:26.96 it all changed. She said one night I got 00:19:26.97\00:19:30.68 on my knees and I was under such conviction 00:19:30.69\00:19:32.76 that I just opened my heart to God and 00:19:32.77\00:19:34.63 I said I realize God I've been kicking against 00:19:34.64\00:19:37.38 the pricks. It's not what Tom Waters said, 00:19:37.39\00:19:40.93 its what you've been trying to tell me, 00:19:40.94\00:19:42.68 Lord, I'm finally willing, I'll do whatever you 00:19:42.69\00:19:45.01 ask me to do. Just tell me what should 00:19:45.02\00:19:47.26 I do Lord. Well she said, the Lord told me 00:19:47.27\00:19:50.80 to take my son off the paper route. 00:19:50.81\00:19:52.50 She said I did and she said you know what 00:19:52.51\00:19:55.10 she said in that letter. She said when I took 00:19:55.11\00:19:58.88 my son off the paper route the first thing 00:19:58.89\00:20:01.34 he said to me is thank you mother. 00:20:01.35\00:20:03.43 Thank you for doing that. I was under 00:20:03.44\00:20:06.91 such a negative influence and I didn't 00:20:06.92\00:20:09.08 know how to handle that influence with 00:20:09.09\00:20:10.99 these bigger boys. Thank you for being 00:20:11.00\00:20:13.71 willing to take me from that paper route. 00:20:13.72\00:20:16.58 And then she said can you believe that 00:20:16.59\00:20:19.50 in a few days I got a call from the mother 00:20:19.51\00:20:22.54 of those two boys and she said to me 00:20:22.55\00:20:25.06 thank you for having the courage to make 00:20:25.07\00:20:28.06 the decision that you made, because now 00:20:28.07\00:20:30.87 I'm gonna start dealing with my boys, 00:20:30.88\00:20:33.44 because of your example and being 00:20:33.45\00:20:35.97 willing to do what you did with your son. 00:20:35.98\00:20:38.68 Well I tell you that's, that's encouraging. 00:20:38.69\00:20:42.10 We need to preserve our families. 00:20:42.11\00:20:44.83 God is calling us to do whatever we need 00:20:44.84\00:20:48.14 to do to preserve our families. 00:20:48.15\00:20:49.91 I ask my young people, what has 00:20:49.92\00:20:54.16 God done in our family to really preserve 00:20:54.17\00:20:56.92 our family? What has made the difference? 00:20:56.93\00:20:58.91 And I asked them each individually 00:20:58.92\00:21:01.23 and separately, so that there wouldn't 00:21:01.24\00:21:03.23 be any influence. At the time I asked 00:21:03.24\00:21:05.12 them this question, my eldest daughter 00:21:05.13\00:21:07.96 who is now 24. I asked her when 00:21:07.97\00:21:10.46 she was 18-years-old, without any hesitation. 00:21:10.47\00:21:13.36 No, no chance to think through the 00:21:13.37\00:21:15.32 question. I said I just wanna get your 00:21:15.33\00:21:17.64 first response. She said this to me, 00:21:17.65\00:21:19.48 she said you've used wise sheltering. 00:21:19.49\00:21:24.11 I never heard the term before. 00:21:24.12\00:21:26.44 Wise sheltering. What, I said Alison, 00:21:26.45\00:21:29.27 what do you mean by wise sheltering? 00:21:29.28\00:21:31.40 She said you have sheltered us from 00:21:31.41\00:21:36.11 the bad and you have showered us 00:21:36.12\00:21:40.11 with the good. Oh my heart just lead 00:21:40.12\00:21:44.13 for joy when I heard this. 00:21:44.14\00:21:45.31 This was not something that I said 00:21:45.32\00:21:47.40 you know I'm gonna ask you this question. 00:21:47.41\00:21:49.41 I want you to think on it for a few days 00:21:49.42\00:21:51.56 and comeback and give me an answer. 00:21:51.57\00:21:52.88 She came back with that response in less 00:21:52.89\00:21:56.33 than 30 seconds and I just praised the Lord, 00:21:56.34\00:21:59.18 because I asked her right out of the blue. 00:21:59.19\00:22:00.92 What do I mean by wise sheltering, 00:22:00.93\00:22:04.75 and what did she mean by wise sheltering? 00:22:04.76\00:22:07.47 Well I wanna give you an example. 00:22:07.48\00:22:09.00 We had a man in our home. 00:22:09.01\00:22:10.57 First time he'd ever been in our home 00:22:10.58\00:22:12.76 and we didn't know the man, 00:22:12.77\00:22:16.10 he was there, we were working through 00:22:16.11\00:22:17.71 some things that he had some needs 00:22:17.72\00:22:19.60 and he was sharing with us and he was 00:22:19.61\00:22:23.22 telling a story that involved our former 00:22:23.23\00:22:28.52 President Bill Clinton and as he was telling 00:22:28.53\00:22:31.01 a story. He was becoming very graphic 00:22:31.02\00:22:33.64 and he was talking about some of the problems 00:22:33.65\00:22:35.97 and some of the moral dilemmas. 00:22:35.98\00:22:38.00 Dilemmas that our former President was 00:22:38.01\00:22:40.47 involved in. And I could tell that where 00:22:40.48\00:22:43.21 he was headed. He was going to say 00:22:43.22\00:22:46.85 something very graphic that the years of 00:22:46.86\00:22:48.81 my three young people did not need to hear. 00:22:48.82\00:22:52.03 And the Lord called to me to stop him. 00:22:52.04\00:22:55.79 Now that's very embarrassing, that's rude, 00:22:55.80\00:22:58.93 but here he was in my home, he's beginning 00:22:58.94\00:23:01.75 to head down the track that I know. 00:23:01.76\00:23:03.39 Not because I'm a mind reader, but I can tell, 00:23:03.40\00:23:05.10 I can tell exactly where he was going. 00:23:05.11\00:23:07.12 The Lord called to me, stop him. 00:23:07.13\00:23:09.20 Now here's the question parents. 00:23:09.21\00:23:11.38 Are we gonna honor God or are we gonna 00:23:11.39\00:23:15.40 try to honor this person, not make 00:23:15.41\00:23:17.49 them feel bad and dishonor God and 00:23:17.50\00:23:20.80 bring the approach upon those that God 00:23:20.81\00:23:23.44 is asking us to preserve first in your own home. 00:23:23.45\00:23:26.47 Well by faith I turned to the man and 00:23:26.48\00:23:31.12 I said stop, don't speak another word. 00:23:31.13\00:23:35.44 You should have seen the expression 00:23:35.45\00:23:36.78 on his face. I said can we just step outside 00:23:36.79\00:23:41.12 for a moment. I'd like to just speak to you. 00:23:41.13\00:23:43.59 I know this is difficult, this is embarrassing, 00:23:43.60\00:23:46.17 we stepped outside and I took that man 00:23:46.18\00:23:48.27 for a walk, down our road, up in the 00:23:48.28\00:23:50.12 mountains. We walked together and I began 00:23:50.13\00:23:52.81 to tell him what I had given in order 00:23:52.82\00:23:56.58 to preserve my family. I told him the 00:23:56.59\00:24:00.36 commitment that I made to God for my girls 00:24:00.37\00:24:02.66 and for my son. And you know as I talked 00:24:02.67\00:24:06.31 to that man the tears began to stream 00:24:06.32\00:24:08.22 down his face. He said I didn't know. 00:24:08.23\00:24:11.37 I didn't know that there could be moral 00:24:11.38\00:24:14.09 purity in young people in this generation. 00:24:14.10\00:24:17.76 He said, praise God that you stopped me 00:24:17.77\00:24:21.41 from saying exactly what you knew 00:24:21.42\00:24:23.57 I was gonna say and to defile the ears 00:24:23.58\00:24:26.44 of your young people who did not need to 00:24:26.45\00:24:28.55 hear that filthiness. Thank you for being 00:24:28.56\00:24:33.59 willing to stand for your family. 00:24:33.60\00:24:35.97 It encourages me. Well, I ask Emily. 00:24:35.98\00:24:40.05 Emily what, what is, what is God doing. 00:24:40.06\00:24:44.23 What has he done to preserve our family. 00:24:44.24\00:24:45.81 And Emily said, its our communication. 00:24:45.82\00:24:49.30 Emily at that time was 16-years-old, 00:24:49.31\00:24:51.79 she is 22 now. It's our communication. 00:24:51.80\00:24:54.19 We've always had communication. 00:24:54.20\00:24:55.78 We can always come to you no matter 00:24:55.79\00:24:57.46 what it is. No matter how hard it is. 00:24:57.47\00:24:59.32 No matter what we've done, we can 00:24:59.33\00:25:00.84 communicate and we will work through it 00:25:00.85\00:25:03.02 and we will always find the principles in 00:25:03.03\00:25:06.43 God's word and live them out practically. 00:25:06.44\00:25:08.89 It's our communication together that has 00:25:08.90\00:25:12.14 made the difference the blessing. 00:25:12.15\00:25:14.57 And then I went to our son. What is it son? 00:25:16.36\00:25:20.23 And at that time he was 13-years-old, 00:25:20.24\00:25:22.73 he is 19 now. I said what is it? 00:25:22.74\00:25:25.73 He said you have spend time with us. 00:25:25.74\00:25:29.42 You give us your time, so that we 00:25:29.43\00:25:32.60 don't desire the things of the world. 00:25:32.61\00:25:35.82 Parents, I wanna just encourage you today, 00:25:37.34\00:25:40.23 give time, give yourself. Give what only you can 00:25:40.24\00:25:48.41 give in Jesus Christ to reach the hearts of 00:25:48.42\00:25:51.35 your children. Recently, we were visiting in a 00:25:51.36\00:25:56.07 home and the man there who was quite, 00:25:56.08\00:25:59.23 well off said you know, Tom, you're a very, 00:25:59.24\00:26:04.10 very rich man. He said you have the hearts 00:26:04.11\00:26:08.05 of your children. You can't put a price on 00:26:08.06\00:26:11.17 that in today's society. You have the hearts 00:26:11.18\00:26:15.13 of your children. He said I long to have 00:26:15.14\00:26:17.24 the hearts of my children. He said 00:26:17.25\00:26:19.82 you're a rich man. And I tell you friends, 00:26:19.83\00:26:22.28 it will not happen by accident. 00:26:22.29\00:26:24.57 If we're going to preserve our families 00:26:24.58\00:26:26.88 in Jesus Christ they must become our first 00:26:26.89\00:26:30.77 mission field. Whether you're a Christian 00:26:30.78\00:26:33.22 or a non-Christian if you wanna preserve 00:26:33.23\00:26:35.03 your family, you must take time. 00:26:35.04\00:26:37.79 Time to communicate, time to give yourself 00:26:37.80\00:26:41.26 to what matters most, time to work through 00:26:41.27\00:26:44.22 discipline, time to develop boundaries 00:26:44.23\00:26:48.08 that are meaningful, boundaries that are 00:26:48.09\00:26:50.15 based on the word of God. 00:26:50.16\00:26:51.54 If we will give ourselves to our children, 00:26:51.55\00:26:54.20 God will preserve our families. 00:26:54.21\00:26:56.39 God wants to be able to say to us well done. 00:26:56.40\00:27:00.25 Shall we just ask God to bless our families 00:27:01.51\00:27:03.62 as we close. Father in heaven, 00:27:03.63\00:27:06.34 we need your blessing in order to make the 00:27:06.35\00:27:09.40 difference in preserving our families. 00:27:09.41\00:27:11.12 We do wanna hear the words well done. 00:27:11.13\00:27:13.67 We want to be there with our young people 00:27:13.68\00:27:16.63 to enter your kingdom for eternal life. 00:27:16.64\00:27:18.96 Please give us the wisdom and understanding 00:27:18.97\00:27:21.91 as parents to know how to preserve our 00:27:21.92\00:27:24.42 families through Jesus Christ we pray, amen. 00:27:24.43\00:27:27.92 Oh what a blessing privilege we have. 00:27:29.80\00:27:31.99 You know the world may scoff at you. 00:27:33.06\00:27:35.07 Even your church if you're a church 00:27:36.14\00:27:38.74 attendee. Your church may scoff at you. 00:27:38.75\00:27:42.20 If you're a non-Christian today they may call 00:27:42.21\00:27:44.50 you a fool for doing the things that you 00:27:44.51\00:27:46.84 need to do to preserve your family, 00:27:46.85\00:27:48.32 but your children will rise up and call 00:27:48.33\00:27:51.43 you blessed. God bless you 00:27:51.44\00:27:54.10 as you preserve your family. 00:27:54.11\00:27:55.78