Hello again, my
name is Jay Rosario,
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your host for
the Engage program,
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which is a series
dedicated to address
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kind of contemporary
issues and challenges facing
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young Christians
all over the world.
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And joining us today is
my good friend, Dan McGrath.
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Dan, how's it going?
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Good, Jay, thanks
for having me here.
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Today we're gonna
talk about something
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that's probably universally.
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You said this show is for
people all over the world.
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One of the things that
people all over the world
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doesn't matter who you're,
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where you've come
from, is peer pressure.
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And to talk about this
we've invited our good friend,
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Nestor Soriano, to come back.
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And Nestor,
thanks for coming again.
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Hi, Dan, good to see
you. Good to see you.
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Good to see
you. Good to see you.
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Now Nestor, once again,
I know you, Dan knows you,
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heard you sing,
loved your music.
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But for those that
may not know who you're,
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tell us where you come
from and etcetera. Sure.
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My name is, my full
name is Nestor Soriano.
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I grew up in the city of Chicago
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and currently I am a student
in the Andrews University
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of Theological Seminary,
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earning my Masters of
Divinity degree. Nice.
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Well, Nestor, it's
definitely good to have you here
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and every
subject that we have been
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kind of unfolding has been
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very fascinating, very relevant.
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And the subject
we're gonna tackle today
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is the subject of peer pressure.
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Now Nestor, why is peer pressure
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an important
subject to talk about?
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Well, let's think
about, how I even came here.
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Dan and you both invited
me, you both pressured me.
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We did put a
little pressure on you--
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You did put a little pressure.
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You had pressure from your peers
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to do something good.
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Yeah, so it's a
positive it was a positive way.
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Peer pressure is
in a positive way
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for you to invite me.
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I think that peer pressure
to answer your question,
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peer pressure is important
because it impacts every one
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like Dan said right
here in the introduction.
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And in fact peer
pressure can also be used
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by us to influence others.
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So it's definitely has
a strong impact on people.
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Right and it seems
like every--pretty much
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everyday we kind
of-- I mean peer pressure
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can has a very strong
sound to it, but we kind of--
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We use it in a negative sense.
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We're using it in a
negative sense mostly,
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but we peer pressure people, to,
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maybe go to a
restaurant that we like
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or maybe we go oh,
there's an excellent book
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that you need to read.
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That some level
of peer pressure.
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But what we're gonna
be addressing primarily,
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even though we're gonna address
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the positive peer
pressure like you mentioned.
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Is the peer pressure
that we mostly refer to
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when it's pressure from fellow
peers that are towards us,
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probably trying to
get us to number one,
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go to a place that probably
is not the best place to go to,
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be involved in a
particular activity,
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do certain things,
make bad decisions.
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Do you have a--
what is peer pressure?
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How do we define
peer pressure? Sure.
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I think when we
think about peer pressure,
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I was just talking
about this with a friend,
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how can I summarize
peer pressure in one word?
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And I thought of
the word, influence.
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Now you've heard
the term, leadership.
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Leadership is also influence.
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So I think the
difference between
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leadership which is influencing
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and peer pressure
which influences the--
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is the idea of social influence.
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So that's how I
would define peer pressure.
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In fact the
dictionary when I read it,
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said that peer
pressure is social influence
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by ones own peer
group. So it's definitely--
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There's definitely
social influence involved.
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Have you ever had, maybe a case
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or maybe an
experience of peer pressure?
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Maybe you were the
one applying the pressure
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or maybe you were the
one receiving the pressure.
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I don't know,
have you guys ever been
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in any either fence--
other side of the fence.
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Well, you know, I went to
school at a public university.
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You know, no Adventist really,
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they're
probably a handful of us,
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so there's a lot of pressure.
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You know the pressure to go
and to the parties and to drink.
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Those are very real
and those are things that
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Adventist that go to
public universities experience.
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I mean 70% of students
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they graduate
from Adventist schools
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go to a public
school after for college.
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So, you know, I
definitely felt peer pressure.
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You know,
thankfully the Lord kept me
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from stumbling in that way.
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But some of my
friends were not so,
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you know, they didn't
have the victory that I did.
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And, you know,
because they put themselves
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in that environment where
their peers influence them.
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And so I think, you
know, that something that
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we have to address.
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My good friend
went to law school
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and you know law school is
all about drinking. Mm-hmm.
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You know, for those of us
that haven't gone to law school
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we would know
that but, you know,
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to be a faithful Adventist
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when everybody else
is doing that, it's hard.
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Right. Right.
Let's be honest. Yeah.
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So is it possible maybe to
resist negative peer pressure?
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Is it a
possibility and if so, how?
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Definitely, I
think that it is possible
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to avoid negative peer pressure.
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I think that, you know, when
we think about peer pressure,
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I think of an
example in my case.
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I can remember
when I was younger,
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when I was a child,
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several of the neighborhood
friends on my street
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and I lived in
the city of Chicago
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and on that street
there's North Sawyer Avenue.
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One afternoon, my sister
and I decided to go outside
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and just to play
in the neighborhood
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and the neighborhood kids
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peer pressured
us into playing tag.
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And it was an innocent
game, but what happened was,
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one of the--I was
running from one of the--
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I guess you could say
the enemies or the opponents.
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Right. And she was
trying to chase me.
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Well, unfortunately
she didn't see a car coming
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and she got hit.
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From that
instance of peer pressure,
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you know,
especially young people
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we don't really know
what kind of influence
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that game would
be-- a game would have
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especially on a
semi-busy street. Yeah.
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Can you give us some examples of
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maybe negative peer
pressure from the Bible?
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Sure, definitely, I think that
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one instance that I think of,
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is a story that I
think we have heard before.
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It's found in 1
Kings okay. 1 Kings.
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Let's go to 1 Kings,
Chapter 11, Verses 3 and 4.
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Those of us--
those of that are viewing
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want to encourage them to
open their Bibles as well.
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1 Kings,
Chapter-- First Kings 11.
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Eleven. Verses 3 and 4.
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Now we know Solomon
was a wise individual
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but there was one
thing he wasn't wise about.
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And one thing he
wasn't wise about
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was the multiplicity of
women that he had in his life.
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Yes. And let's look at--
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He had quite a
few. He had quite a few.
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In fact, we'll
read the number here.
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But the scripture
says, beginning with verse 3,
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"And he had 700 wives."
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Now can you
imagine having 700 wives?
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That's-- I can't.
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None of us are-- I
know none of us are married.
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But even individuals,
you know, who are married,
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how can you
imagine having 700 wives?
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Now the scripture says,
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"And he had 700 wives
princesses and 300 concubines.
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And his wives
turned away his heart."
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He had 1,000 women
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but they all turned
his heart away from God.
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Now, look at what verse 4 says,
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"For it was so,
when Solomon was old
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that his wives turned
his heart after other gods
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and his heart was
not loyal to the Lord,
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his God, as was the
heart of father David."
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There is a prime
example of peer pressure,
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turning a wise man's
heart away from the true God.
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It's interesting because
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when you think of
you can easily say,
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oh, peer pressure really
is only affected to those
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that are--to the
weak, to those that are--
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maybe you're not strong.
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But I mean, can
you--king Solomon,
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can you get
anybody, anymore prestigious,
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anymore driven,
anymore solid than him
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and yet he was a
victim of peer pressure.
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So it's obviously
something that's realistic
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and something
that's very powerful.
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Let's think of peer pressure
in a negative way in 2012.
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I'm actually in this,
maybe in this last decade or so.
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I was pastoring in
the State of Wisconsin
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for three years
and I can remember
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young people making
decisions for Christ saying,
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you know, I'm going to
follow Him all the way,
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I'm going to get rid of
the influences in my life
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specifically music and movies
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that might--that
are weighing me down.
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And so they would
make a commitment right,
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but when they would go
back into their own peer group.
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Now we're talking
about peer pressure right.
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When they would get back
into their own peer group,
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their friends would
negatively impact them
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to go back into the things
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that they committed
themselves to follow.
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And it has a
very strong influence
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and I'm seeing
here from the passage 2,
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the closer that
someone is to you
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the more intimate
someone is to you,
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the greater
chance that individual
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has to influence you. Wow.
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Yeah, that makes
sense because you kind of--
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you're more out of
vulnerable position
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or maybe you can
find in that person more
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and I guess that's
why it's peer pressure
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because it wouldn't be pressure
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if it's not
people that you love,
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people that you trust,
people that you hang out with,
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and spend time with.
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And I guess
that really answers--
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the next question is how
can we resist peer pressure?
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And I guess part
of that is somehow
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how you just answered
it and that is making sure
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that we open up and
have friendship with people
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that are not gonna turn
our hearts away from the Lord,
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but rather are gonna turn
our hearts to the Lord. Exactly.
00:10:09.23\00:10:13.51
And, you know, Nestor,
00:10:13.52\00:10:14.76
you grown up in a
big city like Chicago.
00:10:14.77\00:10:17.57
Have you had any
experiences of that?
00:10:17.58\00:10:20.42
Maybe of seeing
people that you know
00:10:20.43\00:10:24.44
who were may be
walking in the negative way
00:10:24.45\00:10:26.93
that were kind of
given positive peer pressure
00:10:26.94\00:10:29.42
and you were
able to turn around,
00:10:29.43\00:10:30.49
maybe your own
story or somebody else's,
00:10:30.50\00:10:32.39
are you familiar with any?
00:10:32.40\00:10:33.78
Sure, are you talking
about in a positive sense?
00:10:33.79\00:10:35.23
In a positive sense.
Yeah, I think so, I think so.
00:10:35.24\00:10:39.09
I can think of my own
conversion story. Right.
00:10:39.10\00:10:44.59
My friend, Peter
and a friend of mine,
00:10:44.60\00:10:49.42
Wesley, they came to my door
00:10:49.43\00:10:50.42
when I was a
freshman in the college
00:10:50.43\00:10:52.24
I didn't really
have a purpose in life,
00:10:52.25\00:10:53.39
I was just caught in this
web of secularism in the world.
00:10:53.40\00:11:00.04
But my friends came,
they knocked on my door,
00:11:00.05\00:11:02.76
and these two
individuals came dressed up
00:11:02.77\00:11:04.29
in business casual clothes
like we're dressed today,
00:11:04.30\00:11:07.47
nice slacks and a nice shirt.
00:11:07.48\00:11:09.75
And I was intrigued
not just by the fact
00:11:09.76\00:11:12.99
that they were dressed
up because these guys were,
00:11:13.00\00:11:15.14
you know, they were
the funny guys in school.
00:11:15.15\00:11:18.50
But there was something
genuine about the experience
00:11:18.51\00:11:21.47
and I was working on a paper,
00:11:21.48\00:11:23.79
one hour turned into two hours,
00:11:23.80\00:11:25.15
two hours turned into three,
00:11:25.16\00:11:26.65
and the entire
evening we talked--
00:11:26.66\00:11:28.75
they were telling
me and talking to me
00:11:28.76\00:11:30.92
about how God was
working in their lives,
00:11:30.93\00:11:34.33
how Christ is coming soon,
00:11:34.34\00:11:35.47
and how they
wanted to have a deep--
00:11:35.48\00:11:37.12
they wanted to
follow Jesus all the way.
00:11:37.13\00:11:39.18
That was appealing to me
00:11:39.19\00:11:40.58
and that had a
powerful influence,
00:11:40.59\00:11:42.92
a good influence on my life.
00:11:42.93\00:11:44.85
When I made a
decision to follow Christ
00:11:44.86\00:11:47.02
then I in turn used that,
00:11:47.03\00:11:51.01
I guess that
relationship with God,
00:11:51.02\00:11:52.92
that good influence to influence
00:11:52.93\00:11:55.42
and impact others as
well and praise the Lord
00:11:55.43\00:11:58.22
that God has
used me to lead people
00:11:58.23\00:12:00.42
to make decisions for Him
00:12:00.43\00:12:01.56
and I found no
greater joy than that.
00:12:01.57\00:12:03.88
Amen, praise
God. That seems like--
00:12:03.89\00:12:05.50
It seems like all of us even
though we don't recognize it,
00:12:05.51\00:12:08.08
somehow we exert
some kind of an influence,
00:12:08.09\00:12:11.47
it could be
positive or negative.
00:12:11.48\00:12:13.65
And I remember
my own experience,
00:12:13.66\00:12:15.37
you know, I had a big,
big, difficulty with profanity,
00:12:15.38\00:12:19.27
growing up
partly because of music
00:12:19.28\00:12:20.81
that I listen to
which is very, very negative
00:12:20.82\00:12:23.30
but also the
association that I had.
00:12:23.31\00:12:25.52
And I always felt a pressure
00:12:25.53\00:12:28.14
to maybe laugh at certain
jokes that were inappropriate,
00:12:28.15\00:12:34.44
that I knew that I
shouldn't have laughed,
00:12:34.45\00:12:35.99
and this is probably
right towards the point
00:12:36.00\00:12:38.25
where I'm becoming a
Christian and finding Christ
00:12:38.26\00:12:41.29
or Christ
finding me, I should say.
00:12:41.30\00:12:42.80
And it was very, very difficult
00:12:42.81\00:12:45.77
and it almost seemed like
when I wrapped myself around
00:12:45.78\00:12:48.03
individuals that were positive
that kind of were edifying.
00:12:48.04\00:12:53.03
It was such a--a kind of
like a relief as I, oh, wow.
00:12:53.04\00:12:56.73
I felt like I
could just, I mean,
00:12:56.74\00:12:59.52
I don't want to say
put your guard down,
00:12:59.53\00:13:00.90
but it almost
feels like you could--
00:13:00.91\00:13:02.25
you're at home, home base.
00:13:02.26\00:13:04.41
And I think
that's one of the things
00:13:04.42\00:13:05.65
that is so cool about having
a solid group of young people
00:13:05.66\00:13:09.95
that you may be confide in,
00:13:09.96\00:13:11.73
that I can keep you accountable,
00:13:11.74\00:13:13.43
and they will
not lead you astray.
00:13:13.44\00:13:15.01
And is there any other
counsel that Bible gives us
00:13:15.02\00:13:18.66
on this subject
of peer pressure--
00:13:18.67\00:13:20.00
Sure, we looked at a negative
example of peer pressure.
00:13:20.01\00:13:22.64
I've talked
about my own experience
00:13:22.65\00:13:23.97
with positive peer pressure.
00:13:23.98\00:13:24.97
Let's look at an
example in scripture
00:13:24.98\00:13:27.64
of positive peer pressure.
00:13:27.65\00:13:29.14
Turn with me to
the Book of John,
00:13:29.15\00:13:30.70
fourth book of
the New Testament.
00:13:30.71\00:13:32.26
John in the first Chapter,
00:13:32.27\00:13:34.48
we find this instance
of good peer pressure.
00:13:34.49\00:13:38.99
In John Chapter 1, we know that
00:13:39.00\00:13:42.63
John, the Baptist appears here
00:13:42.64\00:13:43.85
and Jesus appears on the scene
00:13:43.86\00:13:45.64
and beginning with
verse 35 of John Chapter 1.
00:13:45.65\00:13:49.87
The scripture
says, again the next day
00:13:49.88\00:13:51.68
John stood with
two of his disciples
00:13:51.69\00:13:53.31
and looking at Jesus
as he walked he said,
00:13:53.32\00:13:55.09
behold, the
Lamb the Lamb of God.
00:13:55.10\00:13:57.76
The two
disciples heard him speak
00:13:57.77\00:13:59.22
and they followed Jesus.
00:13:59.23\00:14:00.75
And what happened
in this story is that
00:14:00.76\00:14:03.18
these two disciples of
John ended up staying with Jesus
00:14:03.19\00:14:06.06
and staying with Him overnight,
00:14:06.07\00:14:08.05
listening to what He had to say.
00:14:08.06\00:14:09.28
Look at verse 40, one of the two
00:14:09.29\00:14:11.79
who heard John speak
and followed him was Andrew,
00:14:11.80\00:14:14.75
Simon Peter's brother.
00:14:14.76\00:14:16.64
So after he
spent time with Christ,
00:14:16.65\00:14:19.03
notice the first
thing that he did.
00:14:19.04\00:14:20.50
Here's an example
of good peer pressure.
00:14:20.51\00:14:22.29
Verse 41, "He first
found his own brother Simon
00:14:22.30\00:14:27.74
and said to him, we
have found the Messiah,"
00:14:27.75\00:14:30.32
which was translated the Christ,
and he brought him to Jesus.
00:14:30.33\00:14:33.10
A good peer pressure.
00:14:33.11\00:14:34.31
Now, when Jesus
looked at him He said,
00:14:34.32\00:14:35.79
"you are Simon,
the son of Jonah,
00:14:35.80\00:14:37.33
you shall be called Cephas."
00:14:37.34\00:14:38.56
But it doesn't stop there,
00:14:38.57\00:14:39.78
these are the
first two disciples,
00:14:39.79\00:14:41.78
Andrew and his brother Peter.
00:14:41.79\00:14:43.33
Look at this, Verse 43,
00:14:43.34\00:14:45.07
the following day
Jesus wanted to go to Galilee
00:14:45.08\00:14:47.57
and he found Philip,
and said to him follow me.
00:14:47.58\00:14:51.54
Now Philip was from Bethsaida,
the city of Andrew and Peter.
00:14:51.55\00:14:54.30
And look here's verse 45,
00:14:54.31\00:14:56.28
and Philip found
Nathanael and said to him,
00:14:56.29\00:15:00.52
we have found him
of who Moses in the law
00:15:00.53\00:15:02.60
and also the prophets wrote,
00:15:02.61\00:15:03.60
Jesus of
Nazareth, the son of Joseph.
00:15:03.61\00:15:05.77
And of course sometimes
when we introduce people to God,
00:15:05.78\00:15:09.68
some people object,
he objected in verse 46,
00:15:09.69\00:15:12.37
and Nathaniel said to him,
00:15:12.38\00:15:13.55
can anything good
come out of Nazareth?
00:15:13.56\00:15:15.66
But Philip, he
used good peer pressure
00:15:15.67\00:15:18.81
and Philip said to him,
come and see for yourself.
00:15:18.82\00:15:22.61
And we know
later on in the story
00:15:22.62\00:15:23.92
that Nathaniel followed.
00:15:23.93\00:15:25.66
John the Baptist
had two disciples,
00:15:25.67\00:15:27.22
one of them was Andrew,
00:15:27.23\00:15:28.94
Andrew got Peter, that's three.
00:15:28.95\00:15:30.74
And then Jesus found Philip,
Philip then found Nathaniel.
00:15:30.75\00:15:34.55
First five
disciples and we can see
00:15:34.56\00:15:36.97
there are many disciples
who are won because of what?
00:15:36.98\00:15:39.08
Good peer pressure.
Good peer pressure, wow.
00:15:39.09\00:15:40.92
So it's almost
like peer pressure,
00:15:40.93\00:15:42.68
positive peer pressure
is a method to win souls.
00:15:42.69\00:15:46.91
Yes. Just to evangelize.
00:15:46.92\00:15:48.03
And the opposite is just as true
00:15:48.04\00:15:49.46
negative peer pressure
will be one that will create--
00:15:49.47\00:15:51.89
Yeah, you read in the
book messages to young people
00:15:51.90\00:15:54.26
that we all have an influence
00:15:54.27\00:15:55.91
that extends to those around us.
00:15:55.92\00:15:57.98
Whether good influence
or bad influence and that,
00:15:57.99\00:16:00.69
you know, that
influence that we exert
00:16:00.70\00:16:02.29
could lead someone
to Jesus like theirs did
00:16:02.30\00:16:05.18
or you know as we
looked for those wives
00:16:05.19\00:16:09.06
that Solomon had led
him in a bad direction.
00:16:09.07\00:16:12.55
So it's very interesting that.
00:16:12.56\00:16:14.51
Yeah, it seems like
there's a level of humanity
00:16:14.52\00:16:20.08
though even with
bad peer pressure,
00:16:20.09\00:16:22.30
like I guess one
question we could ask is,
00:16:22.31\00:16:25.15
why do we give
into bad peer pressure?
00:16:25.16\00:16:27.97
If we know it's bad. Yeah.
00:16:27.98\00:16:30.93
Why do we give in?
00:16:30.94\00:16:32.44
The thing is that,
that's a really good question.
00:16:32.45\00:16:34.88
I think the reason,
the reason why we fall into
00:16:34.89\00:16:39.10
bad peer pressure
00:16:39.11\00:16:41.64
is rooted in this idea of
identity and individuality.
00:16:41.65\00:16:46.26
I think that for a Christian
00:16:46.27\00:16:49.44
that we need to find
first our identity in Christ.
00:16:49.45\00:16:53.18
Now, I wanna show you
a passage and scripture,
00:16:53.19\00:16:55.50
in fact a scripture that
was confrontational to me
00:16:55.51\00:16:58.27
when I first heard it,
when I was first giving--
00:16:58.28\00:17:01.96
when I first
heard stirring messages
00:17:01.97\00:17:04.02
that the Lord used--
00:17:04.03\00:17:05.96
the Lord uses
individual that challenge me.
00:17:05.97\00:17:07.75
There's a passage
that stuck with me
00:17:07.76\00:17:09.37
and if you go to
Matthew, Chapter 19, verse 29.
00:17:09.38\00:17:12.58
You'll see this passage,
00:17:12.59\00:17:13.63
its sounds like a
very depressing passage,
00:17:13.64\00:17:17.24
but actually there is
hope in this passage, okay.
00:17:17.25\00:17:20.37
Matthew, Chapter 19, verse 29,
00:17:20.38\00:17:22.37
"And everyone
who has left houses
00:17:22.38\00:17:24.21
or brothers or sisters
or father or mother or wife
00:17:24.22\00:17:26.41
or children or
lands for my name sake
00:17:26.42\00:17:29.05
shall receive an hundredfold
and inherit eternal life."
00:17:29.06\00:17:32.68
Now if you look at a
parallel passage in the gospels
00:17:32.69\00:17:35.17
we'll see-- we see Jesus saying
00:17:35.18\00:17:37.02
who ever hates so and
so and so that doesn't--
00:17:37.03\00:17:39.77
Jesus is not saying you
should hate these individuals,
00:17:39.78\00:17:42.31
but what Jesus is saying,
00:17:42.32\00:17:44.12
what He's saying is I
want you to follow me first.
00:17:44.13\00:17:48.95
It's an appeal to us to follow
00:17:48.96\00:17:50.67
God first before anything else.
00:17:50.68\00:17:52.32
And I think that as Christians
00:17:52.33\00:17:54.07
to answer your question
this is where our identity,
00:17:54.08\00:17:57.90
our individuality should be.
00:17:57.91\00:17:59.83
It should be grounded
in following Jesus first.
00:17:59.84\00:18:04.06
And if we're rooted in Christ,
00:18:04.07\00:18:06.90
then if my anchor
is deep in Christ,
00:18:06.91\00:18:11.09
any type of storm that
might try to pressure me
00:18:11.10\00:18:13.76
left or right, to or fro
that's not going to move me
00:18:13.77\00:18:16.91
because my identity is
firm on the rock of Christ.
00:18:16.92\00:18:20.74
That's
interesting because I have--
00:18:20.75\00:18:21.94
I know a few people
that have a pretty powerful
00:18:21.95\00:18:26.37
will power to be able to resist,
00:18:26.38\00:18:28.91
people that are not as
easy to influence and to sway.
00:18:28.92\00:18:33.30
Actually, yeah,
Dan is one of them.
00:18:33.31\00:18:36.45
Dan, you're known to be
kind of one who's kind of,
00:18:36.46\00:18:39.57
you know, you're
not easily swayed,
00:18:39.58\00:18:40.78
you know, what's your
secret when it comes to that?
00:18:40.79\00:18:42.85
Even though, even though
some times which I persuaded,
00:18:42.86\00:18:44.90
you know, maybe
eat at a restaurant
00:18:44.91\00:18:46.84
or maybe wear something else
00:18:46.85\00:18:48.98
or whatever the
situation might be.
00:18:48.99\00:18:50.80
It seems like you're one
00:18:50.81\00:18:52.10
that's kind of
hard to influence.
00:18:52.11\00:18:55.77
And I don't mean
that's a bad way.
00:18:55.78\00:18:57.24
My family would say
it's because I'm Irish, but--
00:18:57.25\00:18:58.93
Okay, that's what it
is. It's in your genes.
00:18:58.94\00:19:01.82
And I think I've
just always grown up,
00:19:01.83\00:19:03.81
you know, being stubborn.
00:19:03.82\00:19:06.27
Good thing or bad thing
00:19:06.28\00:19:07.73
when it comes to
my walk with the Lord,
00:19:07.74\00:19:09.74
I take that very seriously
00:19:09.75\00:19:11.07
and if it goes
against my principle like,
00:19:11.08\00:19:13.49
you know, there's no way that
I'll even consider it. Nice.
00:19:13.50\00:19:15.98
So and if once my
mind is made up like that,
00:19:15.99\00:19:18.25
you know, it's very easy
for me to resist those things
00:19:18.26\00:19:20.95
because I don't even
dwell on them, it's like, no.
00:19:20.96\00:19:24.06
Wow. So--
00:19:24.07\00:19:25.52
So Dan, you're one of
the fortunate ones that has
00:19:25.53\00:19:27.76
that inherent
ability-- Well, there are things
00:19:27.77\00:19:30.37
that people
pressure me to do, you know--
00:19:30.38\00:19:33.57
Yeah, I--you know, by
nature I tend to be more--
00:19:33.58\00:19:36.60
my nature a little
more of a people pleaser.
00:19:36.61\00:19:39.52
And high school,
even in the middle school,
00:19:39.53\00:19:43.15
you know, I always I could
remember different instances
00:19:43.16\00:19:47.31
and experiences where I knew
00:19:47.32\00:19:50.76
I shouldn't have that my
friends were encouraging me
00:19:50.77\00:19:53.16
to do some thing, I knew
that I probably shouldn't do it
00:19:53.17\00:19:55.75
because it's not good
and it leads to bad effects.
00:19:55.76\00:20:00.60
But I think the
fear of rejection.
00:20:00.61\00:20:04.89
The longing to be accepted,
00:20:04.90\00:20:06.86
which in and of
itself is not bad.
00:20:06.87\00:20:09.10
These things are not bad.
00:20:09.11\00:20:10.15
I think by nature
God created us for--
00:20:10.16\00:20:13.14
to long to be accepted and
to not want to be rejected.
00:20:13.15\00:20:17.30
And I think these are
very significant realities
00:20:17.31\00:20:20.47
that motivates young people,
00:20:20.48\00:20:24.02
young adults to maybe
give in to different activities
00:20:24.03\00:20:28.33
or participate in anything
00:20:28.34\00:20:29.94
that they're not supposed to it
00:20:29.95\00:20:30.97
because there's a fear there.
00:20:30.98\00:20:32.26
We can even,
even go a step further
00:20:32.27\00:20:35.18
for the young
professionals that are working,
00:20:35.19\00:20:37.55
you know, with their jobs.
00:20:37.56\00:20:38.95
You know, if the boss
tells them to do something,
00:20:38.96\00:20:41.17
may be they have
to work, you know,
00:20:41.18\00:20:42.81
half an hour into
the Sabbath hours Friday
00:20:42.82\00:20:45.05
because sundown
is at 4.30. Right.
00:20:45.06\00:20:47.17
You know, if you don't do this
you're gonna loose your job.
00:20:47.18\00:20:49.46
That's a very
strong pressure. Yeah.
00:20:49.47\00:20:53.08
You know, what do you gonna do?
00:20:53.09\00:20:55.48
And those are
things that, you know,
00:20:55.49\00:20:57.67
people face and
they are very real issues
00:20:57.68\00:20:59.93
that we have to
work with because
00:20:59.94\00:21:01.22
the world doesn't
keep the Sabbath. Right.
00:21:01.23\00:21:03.03
Yeah, that's right.
00:21:03.04\00:21:04.12
And I think that
a very good solution
00:21:04.13\00:21:05.47
to that especially
when we come to issues
00:21:05.48\00:21:07.95
where we're
really tested by fire.
00:21:07.96\00:21:11.44
Our principles and our decisions
00:21:11.45\00:21:12.95
should already be made up.
00:21:12.96\00:21:14.20
So like you're
talking about your will power,
00:21:14.21\00:21:16.12
your principles
already decided prior
00:21:16.13\00:21:18.18
to people
pressuring you to do something.
00:21:18.19\00:21:20.80
So I definitely
think that is one solution.
00:21:20.81\00:21:23.53
And if we look at our
individuality and identity,
00:21:23.54\00:21:28.12
once we have that
and we're firm in Christ
00:21:28.13\00:21:30.80
then God can use us to
exert positive peer pressure.
00:21:30.81\00:21:34.44
Isn't that what the gospel
00:21:34.45\00:21:35.48
commission is about, Matthew 28?
00:21:35.49\00:21:36.81
Right. To go and make disciples.
00:21:36.82\00:21:38.22
You can't make disciples
00:21:38.23\00:21:39.22
unless you're
disciple first. Right.
00:21:39.23\00:21:40.57
And your purpose is
to then bring people
00:21:40.58\00:21:44.80
into the sense of belonging
into the Kingdom of God.
00:21:44.81\00:21:47.64
Right. To that community.
00:21:47.65\00:21:48.74
Right. Yeah, it's interesting.
00:21:48.75\00:21:49.85
I have a good friend of mine
00:21:49.86\00:21:51.11
that was just
recently baptized in my church
00:21:51.12\00:21:54.70
and he the only
Christian in his home really.
00:21:54.71\00:21:58.66
The only committed Christian
in his home and he works--
00:21:58.67\00:22:00.94
he is a musician, he
works at a music store.
00:22:00.95\00:22:03.39
And his kind of a
boss, leader, supervisor,
00:22:03.40\00:22:07.66
was trying to apply pressure
00:22:07.67\00:22:09.80
and going back to
what Dan was saying
00:22:09.81\00:22:10.95
on this whole
issue of the Sabbath.
00:22:10.96\00:22:12.92
And you know it
wasn't a struggle for him.
00:22:12.93\00:22:16.91
He simply said, you know, what?
00:22:16.92\00:22:18.79
No, this is something that
is from the Bible. God said it.
00:22:18.80\00:22:22.76
And if I don't get
this day off, then I quit.
00:22:22.77\00:22:28.71
And the boss was so shocked,
00:22:28.72\00:22:31.04
like wow, you know,
what happened to you?
00:22:31.05\00:22:35.56
How can you put your job
on the line for a religious,
00:22:35.57\00:22:39.50
you know, epiphany that you had?
00:22:39.51\00:22:41.58
And he is keeping the Sabbath.
00:22:41.59\00:22:43.75
He is heavenly above
the church and I think that,
00:22:43.76\00:22:46.67
you know, I wish that,
that would be more common
00:22:46.68\00:22:48.70
amongst young
people and young adults.
00:22:48.71\00:22:51.71
So I guess the
question would be,
00:22:51.72\00:22:53.03
you know, we're
talking about individuality,
00:22:53.04\00:22:54.55
finding a firm purpose
and identity with Christ
00:22:54.56\00:22:57.20
in order to resist this,
00:22:57.21\00:22:58.20
but I guess the
million dollar question is,
00:22:58.21\00:23:00.50
how do we get
that individuality?
00:23:00.51\00:23:02.10
How do we get a solid identity
with Christ that doesn't,
00:23:02.11\00:23:07.29
maybe tempt us to try to
compromise our convictions
00:23:07.30\00:23:12.42
and our standards
in order to fit in?
00:23:12.43\00:23:14.71
How do we get
that individuality,
00:23:14.72\00:23:16.28
that solid experience?
Sure, that's a good question.
00:23:16.29\00:23:19.30
I think, I alluded this already
00:23:19.31\00:23:20.64
but I want to-- I
want to go to a bible text
00:23:20.65\00:23:23.03
to show this one idea, okay.
00:23:23.04\00:23:25.69
Daniel chapter--
Daniel, Chapter 1, okay.
00:23:25.70\00:23:29.63
So we know the story.
00:23:29.64\00:23:30.94
Daniel Chapter 1
and we know that Daniel,
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Shadrach, Meshach and
Abednego were all alone
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that the king wanted
them to feed them certain food
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and they wanted them
to learn the literature
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and the wisdom of their culture.
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But the scripture says
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and this is very
powerful in verse 8.
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"But Daniel
purposed in his heart
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that he would not defile himself
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with the portion of
the king's delicacies
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nor with the
wine which he drank,
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therefore, he requested
to the chief of the eunuchs
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that he might
not defile himself."
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It's interesting that
he purposed in his heart
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that he wouldn't do that.
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And I think of a
very powerful quote
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that I have here that
I read from Ellen White
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and this is from,
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I believe the fourth
volume of the manuscripts 4MR,
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Page 129, Paragraph 1.
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"Lessons of great
importance maybe learned
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from the history of
Daniel and his companions.
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These youth were bound together
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in their sacred bonds
of Christian fellowship."
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See there's good
pressure there, right?
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Daniel's name is
placed first on the record
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because he
exerted a strong influence
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over the other three.
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Who looked upon him as a leader.
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Had he failed to take a
firm stand for the right?
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Had he pleased
and indulged himself,
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his companions
also would have failed,
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they would not
have handed down to us
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as young men signally honored by
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the God of Heaven. Mercy.
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Wow, so Daniel's
faithfulness. That's right.
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Is what encouraged
his other three friends
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to maintain
faithful? That's right. Wow.
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And if he would
have been unfaithful
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then that would have somehow
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influence his
other three friends
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to be unfaithful
as well. Exactly.
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So I guess the
power of influence,
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we don't realize how
much power we do have.
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What are some practical things
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because these are
concepts in a minute?
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In one minute. In one minute.
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What are some
practical things a young person
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maybe who is
striving to be a Christian,
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striving to have an
authentic experience of God?
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What are maybe two or
three practical things
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that young
person can do right now
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in order to protect themself
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from negative peer pressure
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and get involved in
positive peer pressure? Sure.
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I think first of all,
you know, if you--you know,
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if a young person out there
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who really wants to follow God,
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who wants to
follow good peer pressure,
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first spend time in the word,
allow God to feel your heart,
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to feel your soul.
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Because until you notice,
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until you realize
that there is a problem,
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there isn't a problem.
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But when you come to scripture
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and you realize that there
are different set of principles
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which are contrary to
what most of the world teaches.
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You'll be
confronted and the word of God
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will show you
what that ideal is,
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that's number one.
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God will speak to you
through the conscience.
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Number two after you
spend time in the word of God
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I would
encourage that individual
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to spend time in prayer
and to speak to God personally
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about that struggle
to give his or her life
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over to Christ fully and to say,
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God give me the strength
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because I believe
that's the strength
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that God gives you
strength to withstand,
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our position
gives me the strength,
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gives all of us the strength.
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So definitely Bible
study, definitely prayer.
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And three, I think
this is very practical.
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I think that once
God shows you that
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maybe some of the
values that you hold
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are different from the values
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that some of your
friends have. Of course.
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Then what you should do is,
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of course, you
should separate yourself,
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not leave and
abandon those individuals,
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but still show-- try
to find a common bond
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whether it's eating out together
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or playing--playing
basketball or something,
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find common bond. Sure.
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But, but at the
same time as you slowly
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let go off maybe
some of the friends
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that you have that might be
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influencing you the wrong way.
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Find another peer
group, another community
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that will help you grow
in your faith to the Lord.
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And that's exactly
what God did with me.
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I had friends that
were taking me down,
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but look at the
friends He's given me here,
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you know, he's given me,
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Dan, he's given
me, Jay. Praise God.
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I have many other
friends who loved the Lord
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and who
influenced me the right way.
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Well, Nestor, I already
feel positive peer pressure
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even just talking to you all.
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Nestor, thank you so
much for being in our show
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and I appreciate the insights
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that you've given us. Thank you.
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For those that are
watching it's--as you can see,
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maybe you're surrounded
by negative peer pressure,
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positive peer pressure
is just around the corner.
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Get yourself around young people
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who love the Lord,
join a small group,
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get involved in the
church, and I believe that
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God is gonna bless you
in this Christian warfare.
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God bless you until next time.
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