Participants:
Series Code: DPM
Program Code: DPM000031A
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00:01 Music...
00:04 Welcome to Living an Evangelistic Life. 00:07 I'm so glad that you decided to join us. 00:10 This is going to be a unique Seminar 00:12 unlike any other you've ever attended 00:15 at least... that's my prayer. 00:16 We're going to be talking about how we can see opportunities 00:20 in every-day life to plant seeds for the gospel. 00:24 This is not going to be a Seminar 00:26 on how to conduct a public Evangelistic Meeting, 00:29 or how to preach. 00:30 Now, those are good Seminars 00:32 and those are very important things, 00:33 but we're going to be talking more on the level 00:37 of personal evangelism and friendship evangelism 00:40 and we're going to be going over principles 00:42 on how we can make a difference in people's lives. 00:46 How can we plant seeds for the gospel... 00:49 with people that we interact with everyday 00:52 in our work places and in our offices... 00:55 in our neighborhoods... 00:56 even in the schools where we go. 00:58 Perhaps even at the gym where we work out 01:01 or the grocery store where we shop. 01:03 We're going to talk about 01:05 how God can bring us these little opportunities 01:09 every single day of our lives 01:12 and we're going to be talking about 01:13 a lot of other things as well. 01:15 One of the key principles that we're going to look at 01:18 in these first few sessions 01:19 is that friendship is the first step of soul winning. 01:24 We have to learn how to be friends with people 01:27 who don't know Jesus 01:29 and how to connect with them in a very personal 01:31 and in a very intimate way. 01:33 One person once said, 01:35 "We will never win someone to Jesus 01:38 who has not been our friend first. " 01:41 Now, in this Seminar, it's meant to be interactive 01:45 so if you're watching at home or watching this in a church, 01:48 there will be times when I ask you 01:50 to break up into small groups. 01:52 We're going to be going over a lot of principles 01:55 and then I will give you a hypothetical situation 01:57 on the screen, 01:59 and I'll ask you to break up into groups 02:02 and to talk about how you would apply that principle 02:05 in that situation. 02:07 So, when that happens, you'll just pause the video, 02:09 break up into your small groups 02:11 for about four or five minutes 02:13 and discuss whatever it is I've asked you to talk about. 02:16 When you're done, just un-pause the video 02:18 and we will continue. 02:20 So, we're going to start with the first session 02:23 and the first session is all about: 02:26 Principles of Personal Evangelism. 02:29 Let's pray before we begin. 02:31 "Heavenly Father, 02:33 as we learn about the importance of reaching out to others 02:37 and how we can look for opportunities 02:40 in average every-day life, 02:42 we ask that You'll open our eyes. 02:44 Help us to know how to apply these principles 02:47 to our own specific situations 02:50 and bring to our minds, Lord, 02:52 the name of someone that You're wanting us to connect with. 02:55 This is our prayer in Jesus' name, amen. " 02:59 Let's begin by talking about Jesus' method of ministry. 03:05 So, right from the beginning, 03:06 I'm going to invite you 03:08 to break up into small groups right away 03:10 and just for about two or three minutes, 03:12 I want you to discuss and answer this question, 03:15 "What was Jesus' method of ministry? 03:19 How did He connect with people in a personal way?" 03:23 I just want you to list some of the things that He did 03:27 in ministry, so, go ahead and pause the video 03:29 and talk about that for just three or four minutes 03:31 in your groups. 03:33 Pause... 03:35 It would be interesting to see what each group talked about 03:38 or wrote down. 03:39 Perhaps you mentioned how Jesus healed people. 03:43 Maybe you mentioned how He preached in the synagogue. 03:46 You might talk about how He gave forgiveness to people... 03:49 how He ate with people in their homes like Zacchaeus 03:52 or Mary, Martha and Lazarus. 03:55 How He mingled in the market place 03:57 and He sat down with people by the seashore 04:00 in the mountain side in small groups. 04:02 As you discussed all these things, 04:05 you probably realized... 04:06 Jesus had a very personal ministry. 04:09 Jesus did not just enter a village... 04:13 go to the synagogue and say, 04:15 "Okay, if all you people want to hear the truth, 04:17 you just come where I am. " 04:18 Now, Jesus did preach in the synagogue... 04:21 that was part of His ministry, 04:22 but it was only a small part of what He did. 04:26 Much of the time He was out with people 04:29 mingling with them... connecting with them... 04:32 seeking to reach their hearts 04:34 and become their friends. 04:37 Notice what is written in the Book, 04:39 "Ministry of Healing" page 143. 04:42 Now, in this passage, Ellen White describes 04:46 the method of Jesus' ministry 04:48 in two or three simple sentences. 04:51 Notice what she says, 04:53 "Christ's method alone 04:55 will give true success in reaching the people. 04:58 The Savior mingled with men as One who desired their good. 05:03 He showed His sympathy for them, 05:06 ministered to their needs, and won their confidence. 05:09 Then He bade them, 'Follow Me. '" 05:13 Now, notice, she describes Jesus' method of ministry 05:17 in five simple ways. 05:20 Now, we're going to list all five on the screen. 05:22 Number 1: He mingled with men... 05:25 Number 2: He showed sympathy for them... 05:28 He ministered to their needs... 05:30 Number 4: He won their confidence and friendship... 05:34 and then, lastly, Number 5: He invited them to follow Him. 05:39 That describes how Jesus reached out 05:42 and connected with people. 05:44 But let me ask you a question and let's be honest, 05:48 "As Christians, 05:49 and particularly, as Seventh-day Adventists, 05:52 which of those five steps do you think we liked the most? 05:56 Because you noticed, there were five steps 05:59 to Jesus' method of ministry. 06:00 Which one do you think that we are the best at 06:03 that we tend to concentrate on the most? 06:06 Now, if you've mentioned that to the person next to you, 06:09 chances are, you have mentioned number 5. 06:12 Now, I can't prove this statistically, 06:14 but it's just my own personal opinion 06:17 that as Adventists, we really like Number 5 06:19 because I do. 06:21 When we invite people to make a decision and follow Jesus... 06:24 I love inviting people to be baptized. 06:26 I love seeing someone in the baptismal tank 06:30 who has made a choice for Jesus. 06:32 That is a wonderful thing 06:34 but the thing we sometimes forget, 06:37 is that there are four other steps before that one. 06:41 Jesus took time to mingle with people... 06:44 to actually get involved in their lives. 06:48 See, sometimes the problem we have in churches today 06:52 is, a church will say, 06:54 "Well, let's do evangelism this year. " 06:56 And I never really understood that statement 06:58 because I'm thinking, 06:59 "Don't we do evangelism every year? 07:01 what do you mean, let's do it this year?" 07:04 And what people usually refer to is they say, 07:06 "Well, let's hold a set of public evangelistic meetings. " 07:09 Now, I love doing meetings because I'm an Evangelist 07:12 but that is not the only form of reaching out to people 07:15 and so, what happens is, 07:17 we spend a lot of time, effort and money 07:20 and we hold a big Evangelistic Meeting 07:22 and we don't always get the results we want 07:25 and the question is, "Why?" 07:26 Most of the time, 07:28 it's because we've neglected the first four steps of ministry 07:32 of mingling with people... 07:35 building relationships in our community 07:37 with those who don't know Jesus. 07:39 Seeking to win their confidence by meeting their needs. 07:43 I mean, if the community doesn't know who we are... 07:46 if we're not developing friendships 07:49 with those who don't know Christ, 07:51 how can we expect our reaping events 07:54 to have the kind of success that they should? 07:57 I mean, no farmer expects to reap a harvest 08:00 if he hasn't planted seed. 08:02 See, what's most important for an evangelistic meeting 08:05 is not so much what happens 08:08 during the five weeks of the meeting, 08:10 what's more important 08:11 is what happens during the other 46 weeks of the year. 08:15 Does the church have other ministries 08:17 where they're mingling with people 08:19 and building friendships 08:21 and meeting the needs of those in their communities... 08:24 in their neighborhoods. 08:25 See, when we build friendships, we make connections 08:29 and then we have people 08:31 that we can invite to these meetings. 08:33 Now, as we continue to look at that list, 08:36 if we're brutally honest, 08:38 which one do you think we shy away from the most? 08:42 Of those five, 08:45 which do you think we have the hardest time with as Christians 08:48 and as Seventh-day Adventist Christians? 08:51 Pause... 08:52 Well, if we were to talk about that in our groups, 08:54 you would have some different answers 08:57 but chances are you have picked Number 1, 08:59 at least that's my own personal opinion. 09:01 Mingling with men... 09:03 see, as Christians sometimes we don't know how to interact 09:07 with people who are not of our faith, 09:09 we don't know how to interact with people 09:11 who are not in the church, 09:13 because someone who doesn't know Jesus... 09:15 they see the world differently. 09:17 They have different values, 09:19 they have different practices in their lives, 09:21 they just see the world in an entirely different way 09:25 and we tend to be uncomfortable 09:27 because we don't know what to say or talk about 09:30 and we're afraid that if we get too involved with them, 09:33 maybe they'll influence us in a negative way 09:35 and many times people will bring out this verse that says, 09:39 "We are not to be of the world. " 09:40 Well, that's true, 09:42 but the verse doesn't mean that we shouldn't mingle with people 09:46 who don't know Jesus. 09:47 The verse means that we don't take on the attitudes 09:51 and the values of the world. 09:53 I mean, look at Jesus. 09:54 He spent time in Zacchaeus' home eating. 09:59 I mean, He had supper with tax collectors. 10:02 He spent time with Mary Magdalene. 10:04 I mean, the Bible says... the sinners, the prostitutes, 10:07 the harlots... they felt comfortable around Jesus 10:10 not because He encouraged them to keep living that way, 10:13 but they felt they had a friend in Him 10:16 because He was seeking to connect with them. 10:20 Let me illustrate this by asking you to imagine something. 10:24 I want you to pretend that your neighbor has invited you over 10:29 to a barbeque. 10:31 If we're honest, what is usually the first thing 10:36 that crosses our minds? 10:37 "Oh, my goodness, they might eat something that I don't. " 10:41 "Oh, they might have a Bud Light there... " 10:44 and so, we choose not to go 10:47 and we miss the opportunity to connect with someone 10:50 who doesn't know Jesus and to build a friendship. 10:54 Now, it's true, if I happened to be a vegetarian, 10:57 they may have things that I don't eat, 10:59 and it's quite possible they may serve a Bud Light, 11:01 they may have some sort of wine cooler, 11:04 but guess what? 11:05 I can eat the potato salad, you know, 11:07 I can eat, maybe, some of the other sandwiches, 11:10 I can drink the lemonade. 11:12 I don't have to let these obstacles keep me 11:15 from perhaps a witnessing opportunity 11:18 that God wants to bring my way. 11:21 There are many ways that we can mingle with people, 11:24 I've only listed five on the screen. 11:26 One can be going to a neighbor's barbeque... 11:28 for others, it may be playing golf together... 11:31 or women can shop together... 11:33 you can exercise together... 11:35 you can simply eat lunch together. 11:37 Now, you may be saying now, 11:39 "Pastor Dave, are you saying 11:41 that those things are evangelism?" 11:43 Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying 11:45 because if we're doing those things for the purpose 11:48 of making connections with those who don't know Jesus, 11:52 and we're praying and asking God to give us some opportunity 11:57 to plant a little seed for the gospel... 12:00 those things can be evangelistic opportunities 12:03 because we can never win someone to Jesus 12:06 unless we have invested in friendship 12:10 and in connecting with them 12:11 because that is what Jesus did. 12:14 That's what made Jesus' ministry so effective. 12:18 In fact, you might want to write this principle down 12:21 from the screen. 12:22 It says, "As you build a friendship, 12:25 you will be the one they come to 12:27 for their spiritual questions. " 12:30 See, in the life of every person, 12:33 something will usually happen 12:36 that will open the window of opportunity 12:39 that they'll be interested in spiritual things. 12:41 Something happens in every person's life. 12:44 I mean, it could be a tragedy... 12:46 it could the loss of a job... 12:48 it could be the death of a loved one... 12:50 circumstances always come into every person's life 12:53 where a window of opportunity will open 12:57 even if it's just for a short time 12:59 and if you have been taking the time to invest in friendship 13:03 over weeks or months or even years, 13:06 when that window is open, 13:08 you will be the one they come to for spiritual questions 13:12 because they trust you, 13:14 you've taken time to build a friendship, 13:17 you have connected with them. 13:19 Now, this doesn't always happen right away, 13:21 you may build a friendship for months and years 13:24 and as you pray that God will open a door of opportunity, 13:28 when it finally comes, 13:30 you will have already invested in connecting with their heart 13:34 and they will come to you with their spiritual questions. 13:38 See, it's not like an Evangelistic Meeting 13:40 where you might see results in four or five quick weeks, 13:44 when it comes to personal and friendship evangelism, 13:47 sometimes, it takes a lot longer 13:49 because you got to earn someone's trust 13:51 before they will share spiritual things with you 13:55 and that takes time as you well know. 13:57 I want to share with you a study that was done 14:01 a number of years ago 14:02 that illustrates the importance of friendship 14:05 in soul winning. 14:06 There was a man by the name of Flavel Yeakley, 14:10 I believe from Andrews University, 14:11 and he did a Study 14:14 and he studied people who had come into the church 14:17 and then, they broke up into three basic groups. 14:19 One group were those who dropped out of church 14:22 shortly thereafter. 14:23 The second group were those who didn't make a decision... 14:26 they were not positive nor were they negative... 14:29 they were just indifferent and never made a choice. 14:32 And the third group, 14:34 were those who became active long-time members. 14:38 What they discovered about each of those groups 14:41 is eye opening. 14:43 Let's take a look at the first group. 14:45 These are those who quickly dropped out of church. 14:48 What they discovered is that 71% of them 14:52 were approached with the truth by someone exerting... what? 14:57 pressure. 14:58 In other words, they were pressured to follow truth... 15:02 pressured to accept certain doctrines of Scripture 15:05 and people didn't take time to develop a friendship with them. 15:10 Now, think about it, 15:11 how do most people respond to pressure? 15:14 Yeah, they tend to back away. 15:17 What are one of the reasons that pressured decisions 15:21 do not last very long? 15:23 Well, Number 1: 15:25 because it's not really the person's decision anyway, 15:28 they haven't taken it to heart. 15:29 They basically did it or said, "Yes" 15:31 maybe to get someone off their backs 15:34 but they weren't really invested in that decision 15:37 and really, if I have to pressure someone 15:40 to make a choice for Jesus or a choice for truth, 15:43 that means, I'm not taking the time 15:46 to develop a trusting friendship with them. 15:49 Let me illustrate it with something that happened 15:52 to my wife and I when we were first married. 15:55 One of the first vacations that we ever took 15:58 was in Florida 16:00 and I remember we were walking along the beach one day 16:04 and this guy approached us, 16:06 and he said, "How would you like to earn 16:08 a free Gift Certificate to the Olive Garden... 16:11 a $30 Gift Certificate?" 16:12 You know, we being newly married and not a lot of money, 16:16 I thought, "Hey, that would be great... 16:17 I'll have a romantic meal with my wife tonight. " 16:20 I said, "Well, what do you got to do?" 16:21 He said, "All you got to do is this... 16:23 just go to this particular hotel... 16:26 listen to a presentation for an hour... 16:28 you don't have to buy anything, 16:29 and then you'll get a $30 Gift Certificate 16:31 to the Olive Garden. " 16:33 I thought, "Hey, that sounds good to me, 16:34 let's do it. " 16:36 So, my wife and I went to this particular hotel 16:39 at the appointed time 16:40 and what do you think we walked into? 16:42 I can tell... some of you already know, 16:45 a Timeshare Presentation. 16:48 How many of you have ever been to one of them? 16:50 Well, this was a first for us. 16:52 You know, they bring you into a room 16:54 and they show you a film about how you can own a Timeshare 16:58 or some luxury Condominium. 17:00 You can stay in Five-Star Accommodations 17:02 and, you know, 17:04 you can share or exchange your Timeshare 17:06 with other people... stay anywhere in the world 17:08 and then, after showing you the film, 17:11 they break you up into groups and they separate each couple 17:15 to a table on their own 17:17 and at each table is a salesperson. 17:20 I will never forget the salesperson that came 17:24 to our table. 17:25 I remember this guy sat down 17:28 and he started writing out numbers 17:30 and he said, "Would you buy it for this much?" 17:32 "Would you buy it for this much?" 17:34 And you know, and we explained... 17:35 we're... we're are newlyweds... 17:37 don't have a lot of money to invest in this... 17:39 we're not interested in it right now. 17:41 Well, do you think he took "No" for an answer? 17:43 Certainly not. 17:44 He just kept lowering the number more and more 17:48 and I'm thinking to myself, 17:49 "Why don't you just give me the real number?" 17:51 I mean, if I would have said, "Yes" 17:53 to the first number he wrote, 17:55 he would have sold it to me for that price. 17:57 Well, once we explained we're not interested, 17:59 then he started the "Shame Tactic. " 18:02 You say, well, what do I mean? 18:03 This is what he did. 18:05 He started to shame me in front of my wife. 18:07 He would ask me questions and he would say, 18:09 "Where are you staying now?" 18:11 And I don't actually remember, 18:12 I think it was somewhere like the Days Inn or something, 18:15 and it certainly wasn't a Five-Star place. 18:17 And he said, 18:18 "Wouldn't you like to be able to take your wife 18:21 to these Five-Star accommodations 18:23 instead of the dump where you have her now? 18:25 And I'm sitting here thinking, 18:27 "This guy is shaming me in front of my wife!" 18:30 Now, granted... I'm a Christian 18:32 but deep down inside honestly, 18:35 he's starting to make me mad now. 18:37 And so, finally, we looked at him and said, 18:39 "Look, we are not interested... we don't have the money. " 18:42 Oh, did he get mad! 18:44 He jumped out of his seat and he said, 18:46 "This isn't right, 18:47 you people just come to the Seminar for the gifts, 18:49 you never intend on buying anything... " 18:50 and he just got up and he walked away in a huff. 18:52 I wanted to... I wanted to go and get him and say, 18:55 "Hey, you're the one who sends people down to the beach 18:57 and tells people to come to these Seminars, 18:59 we're not here at our initiative. " 19:01 And so, I figured, "You know what? 19:02 After an hour and a half of this, 19:04 I'm getting my Gift Certificate. " 19:06 So, I walked around until I found out 19:08 where that certificate was and we got it. 19:10 I'll never forget the exact experience, 19:13 but you know the truth is, 19:14 even if that guy would have offered 19:17 the Timeshare to me for free, 19:19 I wouldn't have bought it from him 19:22 simply because of his attitude. 19:24 Now, that's how people respond in the secular world. 19:28 Why would it be any different in the religious world? 19:32 We don't need to be pressuring people... 19:34 we need to build friendships. 19:37 Let's take a look at Group Number 2: 19:39 This was the group who didn't make a decision. 19:42 They were neither positive nor negative, 19:45 just indifferent. 19:47 84% of that group 19:49 were approached with someone just presenting information. 19:53 It was basically a "Take it or leave it" attitude. 19:55 No friendship involved. 19:57 You know, in other words, 19:58 "Okay, here's the truth... 20:00 here's the set of doctrines 20:01 the 28 Fundamental Beliefs... 20:03 if you believe it... wonderful, 20:05 of you don't, I told you the truth, 20:07 the blood's off my hands. " 20:08 Now, nobody would actually say it that way 20:11 but sometimes we can act that way. 20:13 What we have to realize in this modern world 20:16 people need more than information. 20:19 Yes, they need correct information and correct doctrine 20:23 but they need more than that... 20:25 they need our friendship. 20:27 They need us to be like Jesus 20:29 and to become interested in their lives... 20:32 to interact with them... 20:34 to connect with their heart. 20:36 And this was brought home to me 20:38 when I was pastoring in Pennsylvania. 20:40 I remember there was this couple 20:42 that started coming back to church, 20:44 their names were: Pat and Denise 20:46 and Denise had grown up as a Seventh-day Adventist 20:49 and as sometimes happens, 20:51 in her young adult years she fell away for a while 20:54 but later on when she married and had a family, 20:57 she came back to church and she brought her family. 20:59 Now, Pat was her husband and he had a Catholic background 21:03 and I remember we started Bible Studies together 21:06 but you know, there was just one doctrine 21:09 Pat was having trouble with 21:10 and it's not the one you would think. 21:12 Now, if we had time, we could go around the room 21:14 and I'd ask you to guess 21:16 but the one he had trouble with 21:18 was the one with abstinence from alcohol. 21:20 I could not understand this because he didn't drink anyway 21:24 but I showed him all the verses from Scripture 21:27 about abstaining from alcohol 21:29 and he just couldn't seem to get it 21:31 or at least accept it. 21:33 You know, and I was frustrated. 21:34 I showed him the right information... 21:37 I showed him the correct verses and nothing was happening. 21:41 Well, I let it go and figured... 21:43 we'll just continue with the Bible Study. 21:45 Well, I remember a few weeks later, 21:48 Pat and I were out playing basketball together, 21:50 we both like basketball 21:52 and after we were done playing, 21:54 I had to stop at the church and pick something up. 21:57 I don't remember what it was 21:58 but while we were there, somehow we got in a conversation 22:02 and I was telling him how when I was a teenager, 22:05 I played basketball in High School 22:07 but because of the Sabbath 22:09 and the game was being on Friday night, 22:11 I decided to just quit the basketball team 22:14 because I wanted to honor God 22:15 and I remember Pat looked at me and he said, 22:19 "Dave, I know how much you love basketball, 22:22 if you can make your decision for Jesus, 22:25 then, so can I... " 22:26 and that night, he made the decision 22:28 that he wanted to be baptized. 22:29 Well, I was thinking to myself, "Now, wait a minute, 22:32 we're not even talking about alcohol here, 22:34 what... what made the difference?" 22:37 And it hit me, it was friendship. 22:39 It was my being willing to connect with him... 22:43 to share a little bit of my testimony. 22:46 See, Pat had all the right information 22:48 but he needed more than information... 22:50 he needed my friendship 22:52 and that's what helped him get over the hump. 22:56 Lastly, the third group that Flavel Yeakley researched... 23:01 those who became active long-time members. 23:03 They discovered that 94% of them were approached by someone 23:08 who dialogued with them... 23:10 showed an interest in them... 23:12 and gave them friendship. 23:14 In other words, they got involved in the person's life. 23:18 See, even Ellen White mentions that we cannot detach ourselves 23:22 from the world around us. 23:24 We can't expect to stand at a distance 23:28 and be able to influence people. 23:30 We need to be their friends. 23:32 They need to see that we care for them, 23:34 even if they think differently than us, 23:38 they need to see that we love their souls 23:40 and we want to help them. 23:43 When people sense that, in a person's life, 23:46 and they have that true friendship, 23:48 all kinds of doors of opportunity will open 23:53 and this survey clearly shows 23:55 that friendship is always the first step of soul winning. 24:00 Without it, we will never be successful 24:03 in winning someone to Jesus. 24:06 So, with that background now, 24:08 I want to share with you three principles 24:12 of personal evangelism 24:13 that is extremely important for us to apply to our lives, 24:17 Everywhere we are... 24:18 work... home... school... it doesn't matter, 24:21 and I want to share these principles with you, 24:23 then I'm going to ask you to divide back into groups 24:26 and I'm going to give you some situations 24:29 to which you can apply these principles. 24:31 Let's start with Principle Number 1: 24:35 "Agree with people whenever you can. " 24:38 In the Book "Evangelism" page 141, 24:42 the author writes, 24:43 "Agree with the people on every point 24:46 where you can consistently do so. 24:49 Let them see that you love their souls 24:52 and want to be in harmony with them 24:55 as far as possible. " 24:57 Now, notice what she writes there, 24:59 She says, "Basically, don't start with differences. 25:02 Agree with people as much as possible, 25:06 look for what you have in common 25:09 because by doing so, 25:11 they will see that you care for them. " 25:13 I mean, if every time you have a conversation with someone, 25:16 it's an argumentative one, 25:18 all you do is focus on differences 25:20 and try to convince them of something. 25:21 What's that going to do? 25:23 That's going to put up a wall immediately, 25:25 and pretty soon, if that happens over and over 25:28 they're going to avoid 25:30 any spiritual conversations with you 25:33 So, Ellen White encourages us... 25:35 and this basically comes from Scripture 25:36 because this is what Jesus did as well. 25:39 She says, "Find what you have in common 25:41 and agree with people as much as possible. " 25:45 That will then open the door in the near future 25:49 for you to be able to talk about differences 25:53 but you must start with what you have in common. 25:57 Let me illustrate this briefly. 25:59 I remember a few years ago 26:02 when I worked for Christian Record Services, 26:05 that's an international organization... 26:07 it serves the blind and the visually impaired. 26:10 Well, I traveled a lot then 26:12 and I remember I was on this flight 26:14 traveling to Los Angeles for some appointment, 26:16 and I have to admit, I was tired. 26:19 Have you ever had a day 26:20 when you just wanted to sit in your seat... 26:22 sit down in that plane... 26:24 you didn't want anybody to talk to you... 26:26 anybody to mess with you... 26:27 you just... you just wanted to be left alone? 26:29 That's how I felt that day 26:31 and I intended to just lean my head back and sleep 26:34 and that's what I did. 26:36 I woke up about two hours later 26:38 to hear the Pilot come over the intercom and say, 26:42 "We are now approaching 26:44 Los Angeles International Airport, 26:47 we'll be landing in 20 minutes. " 26:48 Pause... 26:50 Well, I noticed there was a Korean guy sitting next to me 26:52 and I felt kind of bad 26:55 because the whole flight, I didn't say one word to him, 26:57 so, I kind of prayed a little prayer because I... 27:00 I felt guilty... 27:02 and I said, "Lord, if you want me to say something this man, 27:04 please open the door, amen. " 27:06 Well, I figured, that takes care of that, 27:08 that will relieve my guilt, 27:09 we're landing in 20 minutes anyway 27:10 so, what could God do in 20 minutes? 27:12 Well, that was a foolish thing to think, 27:15 because not long after I prayed that prayer, 27:17 you know what the guy did? 27:19 Guess what book he pulled out of his briefcase? 27:22 He pulled out a Bible and he started reading it. 27:25 Now, I had just asked God for a sign... 27:28 here the guy is reading his Bible 27:30 and I'm thinking, "Oh, that's just great, 27:32 I have to say something now. " 27:33 Now, I'm just being honest in my human nature, 27:36 I wasn't in tune with God that day like I should have been, 27:39 you know, Ministers are human too 27:41 and, you know, I couldn't think of anything to say. 27:43 You know, all this education... I can't think of a thing to say, 27:46 all I can think to say is, 27:48 "Hmmm... that's a good book isn't it?" 27:51 Can you imagine that? 27:53 Kind of a silly thing to say but you know what? 27:55 It still opened the door. 27:57 God's not looking for perfect people 28:00 who know how to say exactly the right thing. 28:03 He's just looking for willing people 28:05 and you know, 28:06 he started talking to me about his ministry... 28:09 he has some healing ministry 28:10 and he commands the Holy Spirit to do this 28:13 and to do that 28:14 and it became clear to me... 28:16 he believes about the Holy Spirit 28:19 in a way that's different from what I believe. 28:21 He believes in speaking in unknown tongues then 28:24 and commanding the spirit what to do. 28:26 Well, that's different than what I believe 28:29 as a Seventh-day Adventist Christian 28:30 and so, I had to figure out, 28:32 "What can I say to this man to start a conversation 28:36 where we don't start with differences 28:38 but we start with what we have in common?" 28:40 And so, we started talking about the importance 28:44 of having a daily devotional life 28:46 and meditating on God's Word. 28:48 Do I hold that in common with this Korean gentleman? 28:52 Certainly, we both do so we talked about that. 28:55 I talked about the importance of having a powerful 28:58 personal prayer life. 29:00 Do he and I have that in common? 29:02 We do... so we talked about that 29:04 and then we talked about the importance 29:06 of being filled with the Holy Spirit. 29:08 Now, as a Seventh-day Adventist, 29:10 do I hold that in common with him? 29:12 And the answer is, "Yes. " 29:14 Now, we may not agree 29:15 how you get filled with the Holy Spirit, 29:17 but we do agree that you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. 29:20 So, after we talked for a while, 29:23 I decided to just give him a book on the Holy Spirit 29:26 and believe it or not by God's providence, 29:29 I had a book in my briefcase on the Holy Spirit 29:31 and I knew that this... the book 29:33 would address some of our differences, 29:35 so, I gave him the book and he accepted it. 29:39 Now, if I had started out by arguing with him, 29:42 do you think he would have accepted the book from me? 29:44 Probably not. 29:46 The fact that we started with what we had in common 29:49 and I agreed with him on as many points as I possibly could 29:53 that's what opened the door for me to give him the book 29:58 and the book would deal with the differences. 30:01 So, with this principle now, 30:03 I want to give you a chance to apply it. 30:06 So, I want you to break up in your groups 30:08 and I want you to imagine this situation. 30:12 Your Baptist friend has just said to you, 30:15 "I can't wait for the rapture to occur!" 30:18 And, of course, she's referring to the "Secret Rapture" 30:21 where you're snatched away and things like that. 30:23 Now, as a Seventh-day Adventist, 30:25 that's different from what we believe, 30:27 What can you say that's not starting with differences 30:31 but that actually starts with what you have in common? 30:35 I want you to take three or four minutes 30:38 to talk about this in your groups 30:40 and come up with a response 30:41 that focuses on what you have in common, 30:44 but not your differences. 30:45 Pause the video, and your time starts now. 30:49 Pause... 30:51 I'm interested to know in what you said in your groups 30:54 but since I'm not there, 30:55 you don't have a chance to tell me 30:57 but you may have said some things like this, 30:59 "We could respond by saying, 31:01 'Well, I'm looking forward to meeting Jesus too. '" 31:05 Do we have that in common with our Baptist friend? 31:08 Certainly, we do. 31:09 A person may say, "Well, I'm looking forward to heaven" 31:13 and that's something we have in common. 31:15 Someone else may say, 31:17 "Well, I believe the end is very soon too. " 31:19 See, these are all responses 31:22 where we're not starting with differences 31:24 but we're looking for what we have in common. 31:27 Now, someone who's very hard-nosed may say, 31:30 "Oh, I don't like that, 31:31 you're just avoiding giving them the truth, 31:33 you should give them all the truth at once. " 31:35 But Folks, you got to remember something. 31:38 When you give people too much at once, 31:40 you may feel good about yourself, 31:42 and say, "Oh, I gave them the truth. " 31:44 But the truth is, you've probably closed the door 31:48 and ruined any further opportunity 31:50 for reaching their heart. 31:51 Even Ecclesiastes says, 31:54 "There's a time for everything. " 31:55 There's a time to die, there's a time to be born. 31:58 There's a time to kill, there's a time to save life. 32:02 There is a time to be silent and there is a time to speak 32:06 and we have to let the Holy Spirit guide us 32:09 as to what we should say 32:11 and how we can start with what we have in common. 32:15 That will open up doors in the future. 32:19 Let's try one more... 32:21 break up in your groups 32:22 and I want you to pretend that this has happened, 32:26 One of your friends says to you at a funeral, 32:29 "I'm so happy my husband is walking the streets of gold. " 32:34 And that can actually happen, in fact, in one Seminar, 32:37 I had a lady say, "Oh that just happen to me this week. " 32:40 I mean, so this is very real to life. 32:42 So, what is something you could say here 32:45 that doesn't start with what your differences are, 32:49 but starts with what you have in common, 32:52 what would you say? 32:53 So, again, pause the video... 32:54 just take three or four minutes and discuss this in your group. 32:58 Pause... 33:00 All right, we're back together again. 33:02 It's interesting to know what various groups have said 33:06 over the years that we've done this Seminar. 33:08 One person said, 33:10 "Well, I'm glad death isn't the end for the Christian. " 33:13 Now, as a Seventh-day Adventist, can I agree with that as well? 33:18 I can... because we don't believe death is the end 33:20 for the Christian... we believe in a resurrection. 33:22 Another person might say, 33:24 "I am sure that you are looking forward 33:27 to being reunited one day. " 33:29 As a Seventh-day Adventist, can I agree with that one? 33:32 Certainly. 33:33 Another person might say, 33:35 "I can understand why you feel that way. " 33:39 And if you think about it, 33:41 we can understand why it's comforting for someone 33:45 to think that their loved one is in heaven. 33:47 Even though we know the Bible teaches differently, 33:49 I can understand why that might be comforting 33:52 if you don't know the full truth 33:54 and so, I acknowledge that. 33:56 I don't agree that it's right, but I can acknowledge that. 33:59 And lastly, a little tip, 34:02 if you can't think of anything at all to say, 34:05 and sometimes, that will happen, 34:07 the old phrase is so true, "Silence is golden. " 34:13 You can just be silent and smile. 34:15 That's a lot of times what I do 34:18 when I can't think of something to say, 34:20 I'll just smile and be silent or I might just say, 34:23 "I can understand why you feel that way. " 34:26 So, if you come up and talk to me afterwards 34:28 and I say, "I can understand why you feel that way... " 34:31 it probably means, "I don't agree with you... " 34:32 but I shouldn't let my secret out... 34:34 just be silent and smile... 34:36 you don't even have to say anything. 34:38 Always look to start with what you have in common. 34:42 Let's look at Principle Number 2: 34:45 Never criticize or condemn. 34:48 Seek to build the person up... 34:51 look for the good that's in them. 34:54 Now, this is pretty elementary, 34:57 but what I found is that the things that are so simple 35:01 and common sense 35:02 are the things that we seem to neglect the most. 35:06 You have to understand, criticism and condemnation 35:09 will never cause anyone to make a true lasting decision. 35:14 It always pushes people away. 35:17 To illustrate this, 35:19 I want to invite you to imagine something. 35:22 I want you to think of some person you've known 35:26 in any church that you've ever gone to, 35:28 now, please don't say their name out loud. 35:30 But I want you to think of someone 35:32 who is known to be a critical and a condemning person. 35:36 Someone who never has anything good to say. 35:38 You know and they may hold an office in the church... 35:40 they may even be in the Church Board, I don't know, 35:43 but unfortunately, 35:44 almost every church has at least one of them. 35:47 I want you to think of that person in your mind right now. 35:50 Again, don't say the name out loud... 35:52 and ask this question, 35:54 "Have you ever seen them bring anyone to church?" 35:58 "Have you ever seen them give a Bible Study 36:02 that resulted in a decision?" 36:03 "Have you ever seen them bring someone 36:07 to the point of baptism?" 36:09 And 95% of the time, 36:13 the answer to that question is "No. " 36:16 Because a critical, condemning person 36:19 will never be a soul winner. 36:22 I want to say that again, 36:24 "A critical, condemning person 36:27 will never be able to lead someone 36:30 to the foot of Jesus... " 36:32 will never be able to lead them to the cross 36:34 to make a decision 36:36 because criticism and condemnation 36:39 pushes people away. 36:41 Pause... 36:43 But, let's just get real 36:45 because I believe in real-life illustrations. 36:47 Maybe this has happened in your church, I don't know, 36:50 but let's say that there is a young lady... 16 or 17... 36:54 and she just... she made a mistake on night... 36:57 went too far and she got pregnant 37:00 and now, she's about to become a mother. 37:02 And as few months pass, 37:05 someone in the church has the audacity to say, 37:08 "Ah, let's give her a Baby Shower. " 37:11 Well, that would certainly promote some discussion 37:14 because there will be one side that says, 37:16 "No, we can't do that because it's like... 37:19 we're condoning what happened. " 37:20 And then, there's another side that would say, 37:22 "Well, you know, we can't change the past, 37:24 we need to let her know we still support her 37:26 and we need to help her be a new mother. " 37:28 Well, I'm not here to tell you which way you should think. 37:31 That's not the point, 37:33 my personal opinion is that 37:35 I don't have a problem having the baby shower 37:36 because what's in the past is done. 37:39 Chances are very strong... when a person makes a mistake, 37:42 they already know it 37:44 and they're dealing with that shame... 37:45 they're dealing with that guilt... 37:47 and that young lady needs to know 37:49 that her church family may not condone the act she did 37:53 but that they are willing to help her 37:55 enter this new phase of her life, 37:56 where she's going to be a mother at a very young age. 38:01 Never criticize or condemn. 38:04 Now, yes, there may be a place 38:06 where someone may have a conversation with that person 38:09 but see, here's the problem specially with young people, 38:12 many times... 38:14 the only time a young person hears something 38:17 from someone in the church is when it's a negative thing 38:20 and someone comes to them and they point out the negative. 38:23 Well, if you want to earn the right 38:25 to be able to talk to a young person 38:27 about sensitive things, 38:29 you got to earn that right by being involved in their lives. 38:32 Well, what about the rest of their lives... 38:34 the first... you know, the other five or six years? 38:36 Have you ever talked to them at church and said, 38:39 "Hey, how are you doing?" 38:41 Have you ever sent them cards in the mail that said, 38:43 "I'm praying for you. " 38:44 Have you pulled them aside at church and said, 38:46 "Let me pray for what's going on in school for you. " 38:48 When you take a positive interest in somebody's life, 38:52 then you earn the right to be able to say the difficult things 38:57 because they've learned to trust you. 38:59 But if you're going to ignore a young person 39:02 or someone at any age... 39:03 and you're only going to approach them 39:05 and point out the negative things in their life, 39:07 you don't have the right to do that 39:09 because you have not earned the right to say it 39:12 through friendship. 39:14 When you go to friendship, they learn to trust you. 39:19 Never criticize or condemn. 39:22 Now someone will say, 39:23 "Well, you're just going to let go of all the standards?" 39:25 This has nothing to do with letting go of the standards. 39:28 This has to do with connecting with someone's heart 39:31 so that you can bring them back to Jesus 39:34 or that you can help them connect with Jesus 39:37 in a greater way. 39:38 Criticism and condemnation will never engender 39:42 a trusting relationship. 39:44 There's a quote I love so much from "Evangelism" page 141, 39:49 notice what she writes here. 39:51 She says, "Your success will not depend so much 39:56 upon your knowledge and accomplishments, 39:58 as upon your ability to find your way to the heart. " 40:03 Now, what do you think that statement means? 40:06 "Finding your way to the heart?" 40:09 You know what a synonym for that is? 40:11 It's friendship... 40:13 connecting with people... 40:16 looking for the good that is in them 40:18 and it says, "That's what your success depends upon. " 40:21 It's not that you have to have a Seminary degree... 40:24 that you have to be some sort of theologian... 40:27 you just have to know how to connect with someone's heart 40:30 through friendship. 40:32 That's why there are some people with Master's and Ph. D.s 40:36 but they're not a soul winner 40:38 because they know the information 40:39 but they can't connect with a person's heart. 40:42 You may be an average, ordinary church member... 40:45 and actually there's no such thing 40:46 as an "average ordinary church member" 40:48 but you may be a lay person... 40:50 never been to Seminary in your life 40:52 but she says, "Your success depends upon your ability 40:58 to connect with the heart. " 41:00 Any lay person can be a soul winner 41:03 if they know how to be a friend. 41:06 Think of a doctor, 41:08 you may know a doctor who knows his stuff 41:11 but doesn't have a good bedside manner, 41:14 you don't feel comfortable talking to him about 41:16 personal things. 41:18 We want to make sure that we're not like that. 41:21 Religious people that got all the right information 41:24 in our heads, 41:25 but yet we don't know how to mingle with people, 41:27 that don't know Jesus. 41:30 Lastly, Principle Number 3: 41:32 and this is the one that we'll end on 41:34 but it's an important one. 41:35 Learn to accept people where they are. 41:39 Never show disgust... 41:41 Be their friend despite their bad habits... 41:44 Love them in spite of who they are. 41:46 Now, that doesn't mean that you condone the things that they do, 41:49 but you must remember, 41:51 when it comes to befriending people who don't know the Lord, 41:55 their life is going to be different. 41:56 There's probably going to be things in their life 41:58 you don't understand, 42:00 they might be making choices that's killing themselves 42:03 and destroying their family. 42:05 You may even find parts of their lifestyle to be disgusting... 42:09 you just... you can't understand it 42:10 but Folks, they look at the world from a different angle. 42:14 We need to accept them where they are. 42:17 In other words, realize... 42:19 this is where they are right now. 42:20 Maybe it's not where God wants them to be, 42:22 but we come alongside... we become their friend 42:26 and we help them on the journey to know Jesus. 42:29 That's what God invites us to do... 42:32 that's what Jesus did. 42:33 I mean if Jesus can spend time at Zacchaeus' house... 42:37 I mean, the people criticized Him for that, 42:39 if Jesus... 42:41 if Jesus can spend time having dinner with Tax Collectors, 42:45 I mean, the Pharisees had a conniption fit... 42:48 Jesus understood this principle of accepting people 42:52 where they are. 42:54 They may not be where God wants them to be 42:57 but we can help them along in their journey. 43:01 Let me give you one last illustration. 43:03 Now, I mean no offence by this illustration 43:06 it's just very real to life. 43:07 In Pennsylvania when I was a Pastor, 43:10 we were holding Evangelistic Meetings in a hotel one night, 43:14 and I remember there was a gentleman... came... 43:17 and I found out later, he was from out of town 43:19 but when he would come in town, 43:22 he would actually come to the meetings. 43:23 Well, when the meetings were over, 43:26 he and I kept in touch through e-mail 43:28 and when he would come into town, 43:30 we would meet together and we would just talk about the Bible 43:33 and spiritual things. 43:34 Well, later on, I realized that he lived an alternate lifestyle. 43:41 I didn't pick up on that right away 43:42 and so, at that point, I had two options. 43:45 I could say, "Well, you know, I don't agree with that 43:48 so I'm not going to be this guy's friend... " 43:50 or I could say, "I'm going to accept 43:52 that that's where he is... right now. 43:55 Maybe not where God wants him to be 43:57 but that's where he is, 43:58 so, I'm going to continue to be his friend... 44:00 pray for him... 44:02 pray for open doors 44:03 and help him as he grows closer to Jesus. " 44:05 Well, that's the option that I chose. 44:08 But you know, a few months later, 44:10 after we had developed a friendship, 44:12 he asked me a direct question... I could not avoid. 44:15 He just looked right at me, 44:17 he said, "Dave, how do you feel about the alternate lifestyle?" 44:21 Well, there was no avoiding that one. 44:24 But see, we had already started with what we had in common, 44:28 that's how we built our friendship over a few months. 44:31 And so, in a very loving way, I simply shared with him, 44:34 I said, "Joe... " that's not his name... 44:35 but I said, "Joe, I know God loves you as He loves me, 44:40 you know, all of us have things we struggle with in our life 44:44 and I believe the Bible is clear, 44:46 God does not want us to live that... 44:48 that type of lifestyle... make those decisions... 44:50 but, you know what? 44:52 Just like you, I've got issues in my life, 44:54 there are decisions I need to learn to make differently, 44:57 there are things that I need to let God take over 45:00 and give me victory in 45:02 and I believe that God can do the same for you, Joe, 45:05 because I know He loves you. " 45:06 But do you think Joe accepted that? 45:09 He did. 45:11 Now, I'm not saying he agreed with it, 45:13 I'm not saying that he may be... even totally liked it, 45:15 but we could still be friends 45:17 because I was able to say it in a loving way 45:19 and over the past few months, 45:21 he knew that I cared for him. 45:24 He knew that I was his friend. 45:26 When we learn to follow these three principles, 45:30 start with what we have in common, 45:31 refrain from criticizing or condemning, 45:35 and learn to accept people where they are. 45:38 We can be a soul winner 45:41 because as God works in their life, 45:44 the things in their life which they need to get rid of... 45:47 maybe the choices they are making that need to be changed, 45:50 the Holy Spirit will do that work in their life, 45:53 because your own example will be a great influence to them. 45:57 That's why God calls you to be a soul winner 46:00 through being a friend and connecting with people. 46:04 Let's end with this pertinent Bible Verse, 46:07 In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, 46:12 "Come to Me, 46:14 all you who labor and are heavy laden 46:17 and I will give you rest... 46:19 for I am gentle and lowly in heart, 46:22 and You will find rest for your souls. " 46:25 See, Jesus was a safe person. 46:29 The Bible says, it was actually sinners 46:32 who felt most comfortable around Christ. 46:35 Not because He encouraged them to continue 46:38 living that lifestyle... 46:40 not because He encouraged them to keep making those choices, 46:44 but because in Jesus they found a friend who accepted 46:48 this is where they are... 46:49 and Jesus got involved in their life 46:52 and through His friendship and though His influence, 46:56 they were converted and they were changed. 46:59 The question for you and I is this, 47:02 "Are we like Jesus?" 47:05 "Are we a safe person?" 47:08 "Can people come to us and know that we will care for them... 47:13 that we will love them... 47:15 that we want to be in harmony with them... " 47:17 because when we turn it over to God and say, 47:20 "God, give me someone that I can be a friend to. " 47:23 God will work a miracle 47:25 and through your friendship over time, 47:28 a person can be changed 47:31 to become more and more like Jesus. 47:34 Throughout this Seminar, 47:36 I want to ask you to continue praying. 47:38 Ask God to bring across your path that one person 47:43 who needs to have a Christian as a friend... 47:45 one person that doesn't know Jesus... 47:48 that you are willing to connect with. 47:50 Ask God to impress that person's name upon your mind. 47:54 Let's pray. 47:55 "Heavenly Father, 47:58 we recognize that You have called us to be soul winners, 48:02 and Lord, we may not be able to explain everything in the Bible, 48:07 but we can be a friend. 48:08 Teach us how to apply these principles, 48:12 and Lord, give us opportunities each day to plant a seed... 48:16 bring one person into our life 48:18 who is going to need a Christian as a friend, 48:21 we're not perfect Lord, 48:23 but we give ourselves to You, 48:26 to be used as Your missionary. 48:29 We pray in Jesus' name, amen. " 48:33 Music... 48:37 We're about to begin Session Number 2 48:40 where we're going to talk about "Every-Day Opportunities. " 48:43 Now, the key word in Session 1 was about friendship 48:47 and we learned that it is utterly important 48:50 to build friendships with people 48:52 when it comes to soul winning. 48:54 In fact, friendship is always the first step 48:58 in personal evangelism 49:00 and we look to the life of Jesus 49:02 and we realized how well Jesus understood this principle. 49:06 He was always spending time with people... 49:09 eating in their homes... 49:11 mingling with them in the marketplace, 49:13 sitting down with them in small groups, 49:16 and He did this in order to connect with them... 49:18 to build a friendship 49:20 and to touch their hearts. 49:22 And by doing so, it opened many doors of opportunities 49:26 for him to have spiritual conversations 49:28 and to plant seeds for the gospel. 49:31 Well, in this Session, 49:33 we're going to take that principle even farther, 49:35 and we're going to learn how to recognize those opportunities 49:39 that God gives us in every-day life... 49:42 in our workplaces... 49:43 in the neighborhood... 49:45 even at the schools where we go. 49:46 So, let's have a word of prayer 49:48 and let's learn about some exciting principles 49:51 that we can use in our daily life. 49:54 "Heavenly Father, 49:56 as we begin this session, we are asking for Your light. 50:00 Lord, we need you to create in us a love for people 50:04 that we might learn to look at them the way Jesus did. 50:08 Teach us how to use these principles 50:11 and show us Lord who it is in our life 50:13 that needs our friendship, 50:15 and who it is that you want us to spend time with, 50:18 this we ask in Jesus' name, amen. " 50:23 All right, let's get going on every day opportunities. 50:27 Let's take a look at the first slide. 50:29 Every-day evangelism basically consists of 50:33 three simple steps. 50:35 Number 1: You have to establish a relationship with a person. 50:38 so in other words, you are praying and you are saying, 50:42 "God, can you bring one person into my life 50:45 that doesn't know Jesus? 50:46 Just one person with whom I can build a friendship. " 50:50 And as we pray that prayer each day, 50:53 God will bring someone across our path 50:56 and when He does, we then need to focus 50:59 on establishing a friendship with them. 51:02 Step Number 2 is where we learn to discover their interests. 51:07 Find out about their lives... 51:09 learn what makes them tick... 51:11 and that's going to require doing something 51:14 that's very hard for us human beings to do. 51:17 It's a very simple word with six letters 51:21 that begins with an "L". 51:23 Would you like to guess what that is? 51:25 It is the word, "Listen. " 51:27 Instead of trying to figure out what we want to tell a person 51:31 or what we think they need to know, 51:33 we have to learn to shut our mouths and just listen 51:37 to their heart. 51:38 Listen and understand what's going on 51:41 in their life. 51:42 That's how you discover someone's interests. 51:45 And then comes Step Number 3 where we look for an open door 51:49 where we can share a small spiritual tidbit 51:53 and plant a little seed for the gospel. 51:56 Now, please notice the word that is used there... 51:59 it is the word "tidbit. " 52:00 Now, if I were to ask you to define 52:03 what the word "tidbit" means, 52:05 you would probably say, "Something small. " 52:07 So, in other words, 52:09 when you're going to throw out a small spiritual "tidbit" 52:12 it should be something that is not shocking... 52:15 not offensive... and not overwhelming. 52:18 For example, the "Mark of the Beast" 52:22 is not a small spiritual tidbit. 52:25 That is not the place you want to begin with someone 52:28 right at the beginning of a relationship. 52:31 So, let's start with Number 1. 52:33 Now, we spent a lot of time talking about this 52:36 in the last session 52:37 but to establish a relationship, 52:39 you've got to spend time with that person. 52:42 Now, for me, it might be playing basketball 52:46 because that's what I love to do... 52:47 I'm going to do it anyway. 52:49 So, if there's someone at my workplace, 52:51 and maybe they don't know Jesus, 52:53 God has laid their name on my heart. 52:55 If they play basketball, 52:57 that's a great way for me to get to know them. 53:00 I can invite them to play basketball with me 53:02 at the church gym 53:03 or maybe at the Fitness Center Gym 53:05 and by doing so, I'll spend time with them 53:08 and we will begin to build a relationship. 53:11 For other people, that might involve playing golf. 53:15 If you love to play golf 53:17 and you got a neighbor that doesn't know Jesus, 53:20 and God's laid their name on your heart, 53:22 go play golf with them. 53:23 It's not taking any more time out of your schedule 53:26 because you were going to play golf anyway. 53:28 Now, it's true, 53:30 your neighbor might use language that you don't, 53:32 he might throw his clubs around when things don't go right, 53:35 but that's okay... you don't have to do the same, 53:38 in fact, the way you live your life 53:41 will be an example and an influence to him. 53:44 For others, this may be attending someone's cookout... 53:47 going to a pool party... 53:49 or even cross-stitching. 53:51 Now, just in case you don't know what cross-stitching is, 53:54 this would probably work best for the ladies. 53:57 Now my wife loves to cross-stitch 53:59 and this is how I see cross-stitching. 54:02 If I had to explain it, it would be like this. 54:04 There's basically this piece of material 54:07 that, to me, has about a billion different holes in it 54:11 and then you have a pattern 54:12 and in this pattern, 54:14 it's divided up into many microscopic little boxes 54:18 and each box has a number on it 54:20 and that number corresponds to a certain color of thread. 54:24 So, you've got to buy the right thread... 54:26 hook it or thread it into the needle 54:28 and then you put it in and out 54:30 and in and out of all these microscopic squares 54:33 while you're following the pattern 54:35 and if you do this for about an hour, 54:37 and then you find out that you put the needle 54:40 in the wrong holes, guess what? 54:42 You got to start all over again. 54:44 My wife will sit on the chair and she'll say, 54:47 "Oh, you ought to try this, it's so relaxing. " 54:50 And I'm thinking to myself, "That would drive me crazy. " 54:55 But if it's something you enjoy doing, 54:58 and say, your neighbor across the street cross-stitches, 55:02 you can share patterns together, 55:04 you can even share your pictures together. 55:06 It's a way to develop a relationship. 55:09 But let's go to Step Number 2... 55:12 this is what we have not discussed before. 55:14 This is where you are developing a relationship, 55:17 now you want to discover their interest... 55:20 learn something about them 55:22 and this is where we have to listen. 55:25 Now, it may be that at times, 55:28 you have experienced that awkward silence 55:31 where you're not sure what to say to someone. 55:34 Maybe you don't know them very well 55:36 or there's a stranger 55:38 and you don't know what to say inside that elevator 55:41 or you don't know what to say 55:42 when they're sitting at your dining room table 55:45 or maybe it's a visitor at church 55:47 and you're sitting at potluck 55:48 and you don't know how to start a conversation 55:51 and the mind just goes blank... 55:53 maybe inside, we even start sweating. 55:56 Well, the truth is, all of us have been there 55:59 in those awkward moments 56:00 and I want to share a little trick with you... 56:02 it's not really a trick, 56:04 it's more an important principle. 56:06 There's something called, "FORT" 56:09 F O R T... 56:10 it's an acronym 56:12 and each of those letters 56:14 stands for something that you can talk about with a person. 56:17 Now, I didn't make this up, it's been around for years 56:21 but I can tell you... I use it all the time 56:23 and it works and it's helped me a lot. 56:26 So, I'd like to share it with you. 56:28 F stands for Family... 56:31 O stands for Occupation... 56:33 R stands for Recreation... 56:36 and T stands for Testimony. 56:39 So, let me share with you how this would work. 56:42 Let's start with "F" that is the Family. 56:44 When you're wanting to know someone, 56:47 most people love to talk about their family. 56:52 It's an important part of their life. 56:54 So, you might begin by asking a person, 56:56 "Well Joe, tell me a little bit about your family. " 56:59 You may ask, "Well, how long have you been married?" 57:02 "How did you and your wife meet?" 57:05 Because there's always a story involved in that 57:07 and a lot of people are willing to share it. 57:10 I mean, if you were to sit down with me 57:12 and ask me how I met my wife, 57:14 I would have a whole entire story to be able to tell you. 57:19 Now, if this is an older person, 57:21 you might ask them about their kids or their grandkids. 57:24 You just call up my mother, 57:26 ask her about her granddaughters... 57:28 she'll be willing to talk to you. 57:29 You may even ask, 57:31 "Well, how long have you lived in this area?" 57:33 The purpose of these questions is... 57:35 just to get conversation started. 57:37 Now, you're not going to do this 57:39 like you're interrogating them, like an FBI Agent or something, 57:43 these are just questions just to get the conversation started 57:46 so you can relax a little bit 57:48 and the conversation will start to flow 57:51 a little easier. 57:52 Hi, this is David Klinedinst. 57:55 I hope you've been blessed by the presentation today. 57:58 If you would like more information about our ministry, 58:02 or about our other Seminars and presentations, 58:06 visit our websites at: DAVIDKLINEDINST.ORG 58:10 or: DISCOVERBIBLEPROPHECY.ORG 58:13 If you'd like to make a donation 58:15 to keep these sermons on the air, 58:18 you can contact us at: Discover Prophecy Ministries 58:21 PO Box 850 Columbia, Maryland 21044 58:27 or call toll free at 855-774-HOPE |
Revised 2020-03-04