Music...
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Welcome to Living
an Evangelistic Life.
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I'm so glad that
you decided to join us.
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This is going to
be a unique Seminar
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unlike any other
you've ever attended
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at least... that's my prayer.
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We're going to be talking about
how we can see opportunities
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in every-day life to
plant seeds for the gospel.
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This is not
going to be a Seminar
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on how to conduct a
public Evangelistic Meeting,
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or how to preach.
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Now, those are good Seminars
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and those are
very important things,
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but we're going to be
talking more on the level
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of personal evangelism
and friendship evangelism
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and we're going to
be going over principles
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on how we can make a
difference in people's lives.
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How can we plant
seeds for the gospel...
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with people that we
interact with everyday
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in our work places
and in our offices...
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in our neighborhoods...
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even in the schools where we go.
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Perhaps even at the
gym where we work out
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or the grocery
store where we shop.
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We're going to talk about
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how God can bring us
these little opportunities
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every single day of our lives
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and we're going
to be talking about
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a lot of other things as well.
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One of the key principles
that we're going to look at
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in these first few sessions
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is that friendship is the
first step of soul winning.
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We have to learn how
to be friends with people
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who don't know Jesus
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and how to connect
with them in a very personal
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and in a very intimate way.
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One person once said,
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"We will never
win someone to Jesus
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who has not been
our friend first. "
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Now, in this Seminar,
it's meant to be interactive
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so if you're watching at home
or watching this in a church,
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there will be
times when I ask you
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to break up into small groups.
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We're going to be going
over a lot of principles
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and then I will give
you a hypothetical situation
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on the screen,
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and I'll ask you to
break up into groups
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and to talk about how you
would apply that principle
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in that situation.
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So, when that happens,
you'll just pause the video,
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break up into your small groups
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for about four or five minutes
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and discuss whatever it is
I've asked you to talk about.
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When you're done,
just un-pause the video
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and we will continue.
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So, we're going to
start with the first session
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and the first
session is all about:
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Principles of
Personal Evangelism.
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Let's pray before we begin.
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"Heavenly Father,
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as we learn about the importance
of reaching out to others
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and how we can
look for opportunities
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in average every-day life,
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we ask that
You'll open our eyes.
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Help us to know how
to apply these principles
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to our own specific situations
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and bring to our minds, Lord,
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the name of someone that You're
wanting us to connect with.
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This is our prayer
in Jesus' name, amen. "
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Let's begin by talking
about Jesus' method of ministry.
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So, right from the beginning,
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I'm going to invite you
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to break up into
small groups right away
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and just for about
two or three minutes,
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I want you to discuss
and answer this question,
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"What was Jesus'
method of ministry?
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How did He connect with
people in a personal way?"
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I just want you to list
some of the things that He did
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in ministry, so, go
ahead and pause the video
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and talk about that for
just three or four minutes
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in your groups.
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Pause...
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It would be interesting to
see what each group talked about
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or wrote down.
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Perhaps you mentioned
how Jesus healed people.
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Maybe you mentioned how
He preached in the synagogue.
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You might talk about how He
gave forgiveness to people...
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how He ate with people in
their homes like Zacchaeus
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or Mary, Martha and Lazarus.
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How He mingled
in the market place
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and He sat down with
people by the seashore
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in the mountain
side in small groups.
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As you discussed
all these things,
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you probably realized...
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Jesus had a very
personal ministry.
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Jesus did not
just enter a village...
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go to the synagogue and say,
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"Okay, if all you
people want to hear the truth,
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you just come where I am. "
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Now, Jesus did
preach in the synagogue...
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that was part of His ministry,
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but it was only a
small part of what He did.
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Much of the time
He was out with people
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mingling with them...
connecting with them...
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seeking to reach their hearts
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and become their friends.
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Notice what is
written in the Book,
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"Ministry of Healing" page 143.
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Now, in this
passage, Ellen White describes
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the method of Jesus' ministry
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in two or three
simple sentences.
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Notice what she says,
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"Christ's method alone
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will give true success
in reaching the people.
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The Savior mingled with men
as One who desired their good.
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He showed His sympathy for them,
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ministered to their
needs, and won their confidence.
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Then He bade
them, 'Follow Me. '"
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Now, notice, she describes
Jesus' method of ministry
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in five simple ways.
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Now, we're going to
list all five on the screen.
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Number 1: He mingled with men...
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Number 2: He showed
sympathy for them...
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He ministered to their needs...
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Number 4: He won their
confidence and friendship...
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and then, lastly, Number 5:
He invited them to follow Him.
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That describes
how Jesus reached out
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and connected with people.
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But let me ask you a
question and let's be honest,
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"As Christians,
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and particularly, as
Seventh-day Adventists,
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which of those five steps
do you think we liked the most?
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Because you noticed,
there were five steps
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to Jesus' method of ministry.
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Which one do you think
that we are the best at
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that we tend to
concentrate on the most?
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Now, if you've mentioned
that to the person next to you,
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chances are, you
have mentioned number 5.
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Now, I can't prove
this statistically,
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but it's just my
own personal opinion
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that as Adventists,
we really like Number 5
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because I do.
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When we invite people to make
a decision and follow Jesus...
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I love inviting
people to be baptized.
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I love seeing
someone in the baptismal tank
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who has made a choice for Jesus.
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That is a wonderful thing
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but the thing we
sometimes forget,
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is that there are four
other steps before that one.
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Jesus took time to
mingle with people...
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to actually get
involved in their lives.
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See, sometimes the problem
we have in churches today
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is, a church will say,
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"Well, let's do
evangelism this year. "
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And I never really
understood that statement
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because I'm thinking,
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"Don't we do
evangelism every year?
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what do you mean,
let's do it this year?"
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And what people
usually refer to is they say,
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"Well, let's hold a set of
public evangelistic meetings. "
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Now, I love doing meetings
because I'm an Evangelist
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but that is not the only
form of reaching out to people
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and so, what happens is,
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we spend a lot of
time, effort and money
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and we hold a big
Evangelistic Meeting
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and we don't always
get the results we want
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and the question is, "Why?"
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Most of the time,
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it's because we've neglected
the first four steps of ministry
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of mingling with people...
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building
relationships in our community
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with those who don't know Jesus.
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Seeking to win their confidence
by meeting their needs.
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I mean, if the community
doesn't know who we are...
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if we're not
developing friendships
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with those who
don't know Christ,
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how can we expect
our reaping events
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to have the kind of
success that they should?
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I mean, no farmer
expects to reap a harvest
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if he hasn't planted seed.
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See, what's most important
for an evangelistic meeting
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is not so much what happens
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during the five
weeks of the meeting,
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what's more important
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is what happens during the
other 46 weeks of the year.
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Does the church
have other ministries
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where they're
mingling with people
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and building friendships
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and meeting the needs of
those in their communities...
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in their neighborhoods.
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See, when we build
friendships, we make connections
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and then we have people
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that we can
invite to these meetings.
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Now, as we continue
to look at that list,
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if we're brutally honest,
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which one do you think
we shy away from the most?
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Of those five,
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which do you think we have the
hardest time with as Christians
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and as Seventh-day
Adventist Christians?
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Pause...
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Well, if we were to talk
about that in our groups,
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you would have
some different answers
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but chances are you
have picked Number 1,
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at least that's my
own personal opinion.
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Mingling with men...
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see, as Christians sometimes
we don't know how to interact
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with people who
are not of our faith,
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we don't know how
to interact with people
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who are not in the church,
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because someone who
doesn't know Jesus...
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they see the world differently.
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They have different values,
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they have different
practices in their lives,
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they just see the world
in an entirely different way
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and we tend to be uncomfortable
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because we don't know
what to say or talk about
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and we're afraid that if
we get too involved with them,
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maybe they'll
influence us in a negative way
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and many times people will
bring out this verse that says,
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"We are not to
be of the world. "
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Well, that's true,
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but the verse doesn't mean that
we shouldn't mingle with people
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who don't know Jesus.
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The verse means that we
don't take on the attitudes
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and the values of the world.
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I mean, look at Jesus.
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He spent time in
Zacchaeus' home eating.
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I mean, He had
supper with tax collectors.
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He spent time
with Mary Magdalene.
00:10:02.43\00:10:04.63
I mean, the Bible says...
the sinners, the prostitutes,
00:10:04.67\00:10:07.57
the harlots... they
felt comfortable around Jesus
00:10:07.60\00:10:10.04
not because He encouraged
them to keep living that way,
00:10:10.07\00:10:13.38
but they felt they
had a friend in Him
00:10:13.41\00:10:16.34
because He was
seeking to connect with them.
00:10:16.38\00:10:19.98
Let me illustrate this by
asking you to imagine something.
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I want you to pretend that your
neighbor has invited you over
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to a barbeque.
00:10:29.82\00:10:31.33
If we're honest, what
is usually the first thing
00:10:31.36\00:10:36.13
that crosses our minds?
00:10:36.16\00:10:37.50
"Oh, my goodness, they might
eat something that I don't. "
00:10:37.53\00:10:41.30
"Oh, they might have
a Bud Light there... "
00:10:41.34\00:10:44.47
and so, we choose not to go
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and we miss the opportunity
to connect with someone
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who doesn't know Jesus
and to build a friendship.
00:10:50.65\00:10:53.98
Now, it's true, if I
happened to be a vegetarian,
00:10:54.02\00:10:57.32
they may have
things that I don't eat,
00:10:57.39\00:10:59.02
and it's quite possible
they may serve a Bud Light,
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they may have some
sort of wine cooler,
00:11:01.96\00:11:03.99
but guess what?
00:11:04.03\00:11:05.69
I can eat the
potato salad, you know,
00:11:05.73\00:11:07.73
I can eat, maybe, some
of the other sandwiches,
00:11:07.76\00:11:10.53
I can drink the lemonade.
00:11:10.57\00:11:12.03
I don't have to let
these obstacles keep me
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from perhaps a
witnessing opportunity
00:11:15.64\00:11:18.51
that God wants to bring my way.
00:11:18.57\00:11:21.11
There are many ways that
we can mingle with people,
00:11:21.14\00:11:24.41
I've only listed
five on the screen.
00:11:24.45\00:11:26.21
One can be going to a
neighbor's barbeque...
00:11:26.28\00:11:28.88
for others, it may be
playing golf together...
00:11:28.92\00:11:31.49
or women can shop together...
00:11:31.55\00:11:33.46
you can exercise together...
00:11:33.52\00:11:35.36
you can simply
eat lunch together.
00:11:35.39\00:11:37.53
Now, you may be saying now,
00:11:37.56\00:11:39.53
"Pastor Dave, are you saying
00:11:39.56\00:11:41.40
that those
things are evangelism?"
00:11:41.43\00:11:43.57
Yes, that's
exactly what I'm saying
00:11:43.60\00:11:45.63
because if we're doing
those things for the purpose
00:11:45.67\00:11:48.94
of making connections with
those who don't know Jesus,
00:11:48.97\00:11:52.17
and we're praying and asking
God to give us some opportunity
00:11:52.24\00:11:57.65
to plant a little
seed for the gospel...
00:11:57.68\00:12:00.05
those things can be
evangelistic opportunities
00:12:00.08\00:12:03.72
because we can
never win someone to Jesus
00:12:03.75\00:12:06.96
unless we have
invested in friendship
00:12:06.99\00:12:10.13
and in connecting with them
00:12:10.16\00:12:11.89
because that is what Jesus did.
00:12:11.93\00:12:14.33
That's what made
Jesus' ministry so effective.
00:12:14.36\00:12:18.23
In fact, you might want
to write this principle down
00:12:18.27\00:12:21.14
from the screen.
00:12:21.17\00:12:22.57
It says, "As you
build a friendship,
00:12:22.60\00:12:25.17
you will be the one they come to
00:12:25.21\00:12:27.94
for their spiritual questions. "
00:12:27.98\00:12:30.88
See, in the
life of every person,
00:12:30.91\00:12:33.78
something will usually happen
00:12:33.82\00:12:36.38
that will open the
window of opportunity
00:12:36.42\00:12:39.42
that they'll be
interested in spiritual things.
00:12:39.45\00:12:41.56
Something happens
in every person's life.
00:12:41.59\00:12:44.33
I mean, it could be a tragedy...
00:12:44.36\00:12:46.36
it could the loss of a job...
00:12:46.39\00:12:48.36
it could be the
death of a loved one...
00:12:48.40\00:12:50.10
circumstances always
come into every person's life
00:12:50.13\00:12:53.80
where a window of
opportunity will open
00:12:53.84\00:12:57.11
even if it's
just for a short time
00:12:57.17\00:12:59.21
and if you have been taking
the time to invest in friendship
00:12:59.24\00:13:03.65
over weeks or
months or even years,
00:13:03.68\00:13:06.38
when that window is open,
00:13:06.41\00:13:08.28
you will be the one they
come to for spiritual questions
00:13:08.32\00:13:12.15
because they trust you,
00:13:12.19\00:13:14.29
you've taken time
to build a friendship,
00:13:14.32\00:13:17.36
you have connected with them.
00:13:17.39\00:13:19.06
Now, this doesn't
always happen right away,
00:13:19.09\00:13:21.93
you may build a
friendship for months and years
00:13:21.96\00:13:24.77
and as you pray that God
will open a door of opportunity,
00:13:24.80\00:13:28.77
when it finally comes,
00:13:28.80\00:13:30.51
you will have already invested
in connecting with their heart
00:13:30.54\00:13:34.48
and they will come to you
with their spiritual questions.
00:13:34.51\00:13:38.41
See, it's not like
an Evangelistic Meeting
00:13:38.45\00:13:40.92
where you might see results
in four or five quick weeks,
00:13:40.95\00:13:44.12
when it comes to personal
and friendship evangelism,
00:13:44.15\00:13:47.26
sometimes, it takes a lot longer
00:13:47.32\00:13:49.12
because you got to
earn someone's trust
00:13:49.16\00:13:51.79
before they will share
spiritual things with you
00:13:51.83\00:13:55.00
and that takes
time as you well know.
00:13:55.06\00:13:57.77
I want to share with
you a study that was done
00:13:57.83\00:14:01.10
a number of years ago
00:14:01.14\00:14:02.57
that illustrates the
importance of friendship
00:14:02.60\00:14:05.47
in soul winning.
00:14:05.51\00:14:06.94
There was a man by the
name of Flavel Yeakley,
00:14:06.98\00:14:10.01
I believe from
Andrews University,
00:14:10.05\00:14:11.85
and he did a Study
00:14:11.88\00:14:14.22
and he studied people
who had come into the church
00:14:14.25\00:14:17.05
and then, they broke up
into three basic groups.
00:14:17.09\00:14:19.82
One group were those
who dropped out of church
00:14:19.85\00:14:22.52
shortly thereafter.
00:14:22.59\00:14:23.93
The second group were those
who didn't make a decision...
00:14:23.96\00:14:26.90
they were not positive
nor were they negative...
00:14:26.96\00:14:29.93
they were just indifferent
and never made a choice.
00:14:29.96\00:14:32.90
And the third group,
00:14:32.93\00:14:34.87
were those who became
active long-time members.
00:14:34.90\00:14:38.37
What they discovered
about each of those groups
00:14:38.41\00:14:41.84
is eye opening.
00:14:41.88\00:14:43.41
Let's take a look
at the first group.
00:14:43.45\00:14:44.98
These are those who
quickly dropped out of church.
00:14:45.01\00:14:48.15
What they
discovered is that 71% of them
00:14:48.18\00:14:52.45
were approached with the truth
by someone exerting... what?
00:14:52.49\00:14:57.49
pressure.
00:14:57.53\00:14:58.86
In other words, they were
pressured to follow truth...
00:14:58.89\00:15:02.36
pressured to accept
certain doctrines of Scripture
00:15:02.40\00:15:05.77
and people didn't take time to
develop a friendship with them.
00:15:05.83\00:15:10.11
Now, think about it,
00:15:10.14\00:15:11.67
how do most people
respond to pressure?
00:15:11.74\00:15:14.34
Yeah, they tend to back away.
00:15:14.38\00:15:16.98
What are one of the
reasons that pressured decisions
00:15:17.01\00:15:21.55
do not last very long?
00:15:21.58\00:15:23.18
Well, Number 1:
00:15:23.22\00:15:25.32
because it's not really
the person's decision anyway,
00:15:25.35\00:15:28.16
they haven't taken it to heart.
00:15:28.19\00:15:29.52
They basically
did it or said, "Yes"
00:15:29.56\00:15:31.83
maybe to get
someone off their backs
00:15:31.86\00:15:34.13
but they weren't really
invested in that decision
00:15:34.16\00:15:37.57
and really, if I
have to pressure someone
00:15:37.60\00:15:40.50
to make a choice for
Jesus or a choice for truth,
00:15:40.54\00:15:43.71
that means, I'm
not taking the time
00:15:43.74\00:15:46.37
to develop a
trusting friendship with them.
00:15:46.41\00:15:49.51
Let me illustrate it
with something that happened
00:15:49.54\00:15:52.51
to my wife and I when
we were first married.
00:15:52.55\00:15:55.52
One of the first
vacations that we ever took
00:15:55.55\00:15:58.49
was in Florida
00:15:58.52\00:16:00.52
and I remember we were
walking along the beach one day
00:16:00.56\00:16:04.36
and this guy approached us,
00:16:04.39\00:16:06.09
and he said, "How
would you like to earn
00:16:06.13\00:16:08.56
a free Gift Certificate
to the Olive Garden...
00:16:08.60\00:16:11.53
a $30 Gift Certificate?"
00:16:11.60\00:16:12.93
You know, we being newly
married and not a lot of money,
00:16:12.97\00:16:16.00
I thought, "Hey,
that would be great...
00:16:16.04\00:16:17.74
I'll have a romantic
meal with my wife tonight. "
00:16:17.77\00:16:20.04
I said, "Well,
what do you got to do?"
00:16:20.08\00:16:21.64
He said, "All you
got to do is this...
00:16:21.68\00:16:23.68
just go to this
particular hotel...
00:16:23.75\00:16:26.01
listen to a
presentation for an hour...
00:16:26.05\00:16:28.32
you don't have to buy anything,
00:16:28.38\00:16:29.72
and then you'll get
a $30 Gift Certificate
00:16:29.75\00:16:31.75
to the Olive Garden. "
00:16:31.82\00:16:33.15
I thought, "Hey,
that sounds good to me,
00:16:33.19\00:16:34.72
let's do it. "
00:16:34.76\00:16:36.09
So, my wife and I went
to this particular hotel
00:16:36.12\00:16:39.03
at the appointed time
00:16:39.06\00:16:40.40
and what do you
think we walked into?
00:16:40.43\00:16:42.86
I can tell... some
of you already know,
00:16:42.90\00:16:45.27
a Timeshare Presentation.
00:16:45.33\00:16:48.20
How many of you have
ever been to one of them?
00:16:48.24\00:16:50.17
Well, this was a first for us.
00:16:50.21\00:16:52.47
You know, they
bring you into a room
00:16:52.51\00:16:54.51
and they show you a film about
how you can own a Timeshare
00:16:54.54\00:16:58.21
or some luxury Condominium.
00:16:58.25\00:17:00.45
You can stay in
Five-Star Accommodations
00:17:00.48\00:17:02.78
and, you know,
00:17:02.82\00:17:04.52
you can share or
exchange your Timeshare
00:17:04.55\00:17:06.59
with other people...
stay anywhere in the world
00:17:06.65\00:17:08.82
and then, after
showing you the film,
00:17:08.86\00:17:11.53
they break you up into groups
and they separate each couple
00:17:11.56\00:17:15.50
to a table on their own
00:17:15.56\00:17:17.47
and at each
table is a salesperson.
00:17:17.50\00:17:20.94
I will never forget
the salesperson that came
00:17:20.97\00:17:24.37
to our table.
00:17:24.41\00:17:25.74
I remember this guy sat down
00:17:25.77\00:17:28.14
and he started
writing out numbers
00:17:28.18\00:17:30.05
and he said, "Would
you buy it for this much?"
00:17:30.11\00:17:32.41
"Would you buy
it for this much?"
00:17:32.45\00:17:34.12
And you know,
and we explained...
00:17:34.18\00:17:35.68
we're... we're are newlyweds...
00:17:35.72\00:17:37.15
don't have a lot of
money to invest in this...
00:17:37.19\00:17:39.15
we're not
interested in it right now.
00:17:39.19\00:17:41.19
Well, do you think he
took "No" for an answer?
00:17:41.22\00:17:43.59
Certainly not.
00:17:43.63\00:17:44.96
He just kept lowering
the number more and more
00:17:44.99\00:17:48.10
and I'm thinking to myself,
00:17:48.13\00:17:49.86
"Why don't you just
give me the real number?"
00:17:49.90\00:17:51.90
I mean, if I
would have said, "Yes"
00:17:51.93\00:17:53.64
to the first number he wrote,
00:17:53.67\00:17:55.00
he would have sold
it to me for that price.
00:17:55.04\00:17:57.07
Well, once we
explained we're not interested,
00:17:57.11\00:17:59.34
then he started
the "Shame Tactic. "
00:17:59.37\00:18:02.48
You say, well, what do I mean?
00:18:02.51\00:18:03.85
This is what he did.
00:18:03.88\00:18:05.31
He started to shame
me in front of my wife.
00:18:05.35\00:18:07.22
He would ask me
questions and he would say,
00:18:07.28\00:18:09.72
"Where are you staying now?"
00:18:09.75\00:18:11.19
And I don't actually remember,
00:18:11.22\00:18:12.59
I think it was somewhere
like the Days Inn or something,
00:18:12.62\00:18:15.26
and it certainly
wasn't a Five-Star place.
00:18:15.29\00:18:17.36
And he said,
00:18:17.39\00:18:18.73
"Wouldn't you like to
be able to take your wife
00:18:18.76\00:18:21.43
to these
Five-Star accommodations
00:18:21.46\00:18:23.33
instead of the dump
where you have her now?
00:18:23.37\00:18:25.53
And I'm sitting here thinking,
00:18:25.57\00:18:27.54
"This guy is shaming
me in front of my wife!"
00:18:27.57\00:18:30.31
Now, granted... I'm a Christian
00:18:30.34\00:18:32.71
but deep down inside honestly,
00:18:32.77\00:18:35.04
he's starting
to make me mad now.
00:18:35.08\00:18:37.28
And so, finally, we
looked at him and said,
00:18:37.31\00:18:39.61
"Look, we are not interested...
we don't have the money. "
00:18:39.65\00:18:42.85
Oh, did he get mad!
00:18:42.88\00:18:44.22
He jumped out of
his seat and he said,
00:18:44.25\00:18:46.02
"This isn't right,
00:18:46.05\00:18:47.39
you people just come to
the Seminar for the gifts,
00:18:47.42\00:18:49.19
you never intend on
buying anything... "
00:18:49.22\00:18:50.56
and he just got up and
he walked away in a huff.
00:18:50.59\00:18:52.93
I wanted to... I wanted
to go and get him and say,
00:18:52.96\00:18:55.36
"Hey, you're the one who
sends people down to the beach
00:18:55.40\00:18:57.77
and tells people to
come to these Seminars,
00:18:57.80\00:18:59.37
we're not here
at our initiative. "
00:18:59.43\00:19:01.10
And so, I
figured, "You know what?
00:19:01.14\00:19:02.70
After an hour
and a half of this,
00:19:02.74\00:19:04.31
I'm getting my
Gift Certificate. "
00:19:04.34\00:19:06.17
So, I walked
around until I found out
00:19:06.24\00:19:08.34
where that
certificate was and we got it.
00:19:08.38\00:19:10.81
I'll never forget
the exact experience,
00:19:10.85\00:19:13.25
but you know the truth is,
00:19:13.28\00:19:14.62
even if that guy
would have offered
00:19:14.65\00:19:17.92
the Timeshare to me for free,
00:19:17.95\00:19:19.72
I wouldn't have
bought it from him
00:19:19.75\00:19:22.32
simply because of his attitude.
00:19:22.36\00:19:24.83
Now, that's how people
respond in the secular world.
00:19:24.86\00:19:28.56
Why would it be any different
in the religious world?
00:19:28.60\00:19:32.23
We don't need to be
pressuring people...
00:19:32.27\00:19:34.57
we need to build friendships.
00:19:34.60\00:19:37.11
Let's take a look
at Group Number 2:
00:19:37.14\00:19:39.64
This was the group who
didn't make a decision.
00:19:39.67\00:19:42.71
They were neither
positive nor negative,
00:19:42.74\00:19:45.18
just indifferent.
00:19:45.21\00:19:47.45
84% of that group
00:19:47.48\00:19:49.38
were approached with someone
just presenting information.
00:19:49.42\00:19:53.39
It was basically a "Take
it or leave it" attitude.
00:19:53.42\00:19:55.92
No friendship involved.
00:19:55.96\00:19:57.29
You know, in other words,
00:19:57.33\00:19:58.73
"Okay, here's the truth...
00:19:58.79\00:20:00.13
here's the set of doctrines
00:20:00.16\00:20:01.63
the 28 Fundamental Beliefs...
00:20:01.66\00:20:03.20
if you believe it... wonderful,
00:20:03.26\00:20:05.13
of you don't, I
told you the truth,
00:20:05.17\00:20:07.00
the blood's off my hands. "
00:20:07.04\00:20:08.37
Now, nobody would
actually say it that way
00:20:08.40\00:20:10.97
but sometimes we
can act that way.
00:20:11.04\00:20:13.17
What we have to
realize in this modern world
00:20:13.21\00:20:16.75
people need more
than information.
00:20:16.78\00:20:19.71
Yes, they need correct
information and correct doctrine
00:20:19.75\00:20:23.69
but they need more than that...
00:20:23.75\00:20:25.09
they need our friendship.
00:20:25.12\00:20:27.39
They need us to be like Jesus
00:20:27.42\00:20:29.62
and to become
interested in their lives...
00:20:29.66\00:20:32.46
to interact with them...
00:20:32.49\00:20:34.46
to connect with their heart.
00:20:34.50\00:20:36.43
And this was brought home to me
00:20:36.46\00:20:38.57
when I was
pastoring in Pennsylvania.
00:20:38.60\00:20:40.64
I remember there was this couple
00:20:40.67\00:20:42.57
that started
coming back to church,
00:20:42.60\00:20:44.47
their names were: Pat and Denise
00:20:44.51\00:20:46.31
and Denise had grown up
as a Seventh-day Adventist
00:20:46.37\00:20:49.38
and as sometimes happens,
00:20:49.41\00:20:51.41
in her young adult years
she fell away for a while
00:20:51.45\00:20:54.22
but later on when she
married and had a family,
00:20:54.25\00:20:57.12
she came back to church
and she brought her family.
00:20:57.15\00:20:59.92
Now, Pat was her husband
and he had a Catholic background
00:20:59.95\00:21:03.69
and I remember we
started Bible Studies together
00:21:03.73\00:21:06.43
but you know, there
was just one doctrine
00:21:06.46\00:21:08.96
Pat was having trouble with
00:21:09.00\00:21:10.47
and it's not the
one you would think.
00:21:10.50\00:21:12.33
Now, if we had time, we
could go around the room
00:21:12.37\00:21:14.80
and I'd ask you to guess
00:21:14.84\00:21:16.17
but the one he had trouble with
00:21:16.20\00:21:18.17
was the one with
abstinence from alcohol.
00:21:18.21\00:21:20.81
I could not understand this
because he didn't drink anyway
00:21:20.84\00:21:24.25
but I showed him all
the verses from Scripture
00:21:24.28\00:21:27.62
about abstaining from alcohol
00:21:27.65\00:21:29.62
and he just
couldn't seem to get it
00:21:29.65\00:21:31.79
or at least accept it.
00:21:31.82\00:21:33.15
You know, and I was frustrated.
00:21:33.19\00:21:34.76
I showed him the
right information...
00:21:34.79\00:21:37.53
I showed him the correct verses
and nothing was happening.
00:21:37.59\00:21:40.96
Well, I let it go and figured...
00:21:41.00\00:21:43.53
we'll just continue
with the Bible Study.
00:21:43.57\00:21:45.30
Well, I remember
a few weeks later,
00:21:45.33\00:21:47.97
Pat and I were out
playing basketball together,
00:21:48.00\00:21:50.81
we both like basketball
00:21:50.87\00:21:52.21
and after we were done playing,
00:21:52.24\00:21:53.98
I had to stop at the
church and pick something up.
00:21:54.01\00:21:57.11
I don't remember what it was
00:21:57.15\00:21:58.48
but while we were there,
somehow we got in a conversation
00:21:58.51\00:22:02.38
and I was telling him
how when I was a teenager,
00:22:02.42\00:22:05.49
I played
basketball in High School
00:22:05.52\00:22:07.52
but because of the Sabbath
00:22:07.56\00:22:09.42
and the game was
being on Friday night,
00:22:09.46\00:22:11.76
I decided to just
quit the basketball team
00:22:11.79\00:22:14.06
because I wanted to honor God
00:22:14.10\00:22:15.76
and I remember Pat
looked at me and he said,
00:22:15.80\00:22:19.07
"Dave, I know how
much you love basketball,
00:22:19.10\00:22:22.07
if you can make
your decision for Jesus,
00:22:22.10\00:22:25.04
then, so can I... "
00:22:25.07\00:22:26.41
and that night,
he made the decision
00:22:26.44\00:22:28.18
that he wanted to be baptized.
00:22:28.24\00:22:29.61
Well, I was thinking to
myself, "Now, wait a minute,
00:22:29.64\00:22:32.75
we're not even
talking about alcohol here,
00:22:32.78\00:22:34.65
what... what
made the difference?"
00:22:34.68\00:22:37.15
And it hit me,
it was friendship.
00:22:37.19\00:22:39.62
It was my being
willing to connect with him...
00:22:39.65\00:22:43.53
to share a little
bit of my testimony.
00:22:43.56\00:22:46.23
See, Pat had all
the right information
00:22:46.29\00:22:48.53
but he needed more
than information...
00:22:48.56\00:22:50.80
he needed my friendship
00:22:50.83\00:22:52.80
and that's what
helped him get over the hump.
00:22:52.83\00:22:55.97
Lastly, the third group that
Flavel Yeakley researched...
00:22:56.00\00:23:01.24
those who became
active long-time members.
00:23:01.28\00:23:03.61
They discovered that 94% of
them were approached by someone
00:23:03.65\00:23:08.68
who dialogued with them...
00:23:08.72\00:23:10.35
showed an interest in them...
00:23:10.39\00:23:12.49
and gave them friendship.
00:23:12.52\00:23:14.66
In other words, they got
involved in the person's life.
00:23:14.72\00:23:18.03
See, even Ellen White mentions
that we cannot detach ourselves
00:23:18.06\00:23:22.76
from the world around us.
00:23:22.80\00:23:24.70
We can't expect to
stand at a distance
00:23:24.73\00:23:28.54
and be able to influence people.
00:23:28.57\00:23:30.47
We need to be their friends.
00:23:30.51\00:23:32.34
They need to see
that we care for them,
00:23:32.37\00:23:34.71
even if they think
differently than us,
00:23:34.74\00:23:38.91
they need to see
that we love their souls
00:23:38.95\00:23:40.58
and we want to help them.
00:23:40.62\00:23:43.15
When people sense
that, in a person's life,
00:23:43.18\00:23:46.76
and they have
that true friendship,
00:23:46.79\00:23:48.86
all kinds of doors
of opportunity will open
00:23:48.92\00:23:53.03
and this survey clearly shows
00:23:53.06\00:23:55.66
that friendship is always
the first step of soul winning.
00:23:55.73\00:24:00.90
Without it, we
will never be successful
00:24:00.94\00:24:03.51
in winning someone to Jesus.
00:24:03.54\00:24:06.14
So, with that background now,
00:24:06.17\00:24:08.71
I want to share
with you three principles
00:24:08.74\00:24:11.98
of personal evangelism
00:24:12.01\00:24:13.58
that is extremely important
for us to apply to our lives,
00:24:13.62\00:24:17.15
Everywhere we are...
00:24:17.19\00:24:18.75
work... home...
school... it doesn't matter,
00:24:18.79\00:24:21.22
and I want to share
these principles with you,
00:24:21.26\00:24:23.59
then I'm going to ask you
to divide back into groups
00:24:23.63\00:24:26.49
and I'm going to
give you some situations
00:24:26.56\00:24:29.03
to which you can
apply these principles.
00:24:29.06\00:24:31.83
Let's start with
Principle Number 1:
00:24:31.87\00:24:35.54
"Agree with people
whenever you can. "
00:24:35.57\00:24:38.91
In the Book
"Evangelism" page 141,
00:24:38.94\00:24:42.24
the author writes,
00:24:42.28\00:24:43.68
"Agree with the
people on every point
00:24:43.71\00:24:46.61
where you can
consistently do so.
00:24:46.65\00:24:49.48
Let them see that
you love their souls
00:24:49.52\00:24:52.29
and want to be
in harmony with them
00:24:52.32\00:24:55.09
as far as possible. "
00:24:55.12\00:24:57.26
Now, notice what
she writes there,
00:24:57.29\00:24:59.13
She says, "Basically,
don't start with differences.
00:24:59.16\00:25:02.86
Agree with people
as much as possible,
00:25:02.90\00:25:06.40
look for what you have in common
00:25:06.43\00:25:08.97
because by doing so,
00:25:09.00\00:25:11.14
they will see that
you care for them. "
00:25:11.17\00:25:13.24
I mean, if every time you have
a conversation with someone,
00:25:13.27\00:25:16.41
it's an argumentative one,
00:25:16.44\00:25:18.38
all you do is
focus on differences
00:25:18.41\00:25:20.12
and try to
convince them of something.
00:25:20.15\00:25:21.82
What's that going to do?
00:25:21.85\00:25:23.18
That's going to put
up a wall immediately,
00:25:23.22\00:25:25.75
and pretty soon, if
that happens over and over
00:25:25.79\00:25:28.52
they're going to avoid
00:25:28.56\00:25:30.39
any spiritual
conversations with you
00:25:30.43\00:25:33.06
So, Ellen White encourages us...
00:25:33.09\00:25:35.20
and this basically
comes from Scripture
00:25:35.26\00:25:36.80
because this is
what Jesus did as well.
00:25:36.83\00:25:39.20
She says, "Find
what you have in common
00:25:39.23\00:25:41.54
and agree with people
as much as possible. "
00:25:41.57\00:25:45.47
That will then open
the door in the near future
00:25:45.51\00:25:49.14
for you to be able to
talk about differences
00:25:49.18\00:25:53.15
but you must start with
what you have in common.
00:25:53.18\00:25:57.12
Let me illustrate this briefly.
00:25:57.15\00:25:59.69
I remember a few years ago
00:25:59.72\00:26:02.22
when I worked for
Christian Record Services,
00:26:02.26\00:26:05.19
that's an
international organization...
00:26:05.23\00:26:07.60
it serves the blind
and the visually impaired.
00:26:07.63\00:26:10.17
Well, I traveled a lot then
00:26:10.20\00:26:12.00
and I remember I
was on this flight
00:26:12.03\00:26:14.24
traveling to Los
Angeles for some appointment,
00:26:14.27\00:26:16.84
and I have to
admit, I was tired.
00:26:16.87\00:26:19.01
Have you ever had a day
00:26:19.07\00:26:20.91
when you just wanted
to sit in your seat...
00:26:20.94\00:26:22.78
sit down in that plane...
00:26:22.81\00:26:24.38
you didn't want
anybody to talk to you...
00:26:24.41\00:26:26.28
anybody to mess with you...
00:26:26.31\00:26:27.65
you just... you just
wanted to be left alone?
00:26:27.68\00:26:29.35
That's how I felt that day
00:26:29.38\00:26:31.45
and I intended to just
lean my head back and sleep
00:26:31.49\00:26:34.79
and that's what I did.
00:26:34.82\00:26:36.59
I woke up about two hours later
00:26:36.62\00:26:38.96
to hear the Pilot come
over the intercom and say,
00:26:38.99\00:26:42.83
"We are now approaching
00:26:42.86\00:26:44.77
Los Angeles
International Airport,
00:26:44.83\00:26:47.00
we'll be
landing in 20 minutes. "
00:26:47.04\00:26:48.84
Pause...
00:26:48.87\00:26:50.21
Well, I noticed there was a
Korean guy sitting next to me
00:26:50.24\00:26:52.94
and I felt kind of bad
00:26:52.97\00:26:54.94
because the whole flight,
I didn't say one word to him,
00:26:55.01\00:26:57.95
so, I kind of prayed a
little prayer because I...
00:26:57.98\00:27:00.68
I felt guilty...
00:27:00.72\00:27:02.05
and I said, "Lord, if you want
me to say something this man,
00:27:02.08\00:27:04.49
please open the door, amen. "
00:27:04.52\00:27:05.99
Well, I figured,
that takes care of that,
00:27:06.02\00:27:08.02
that will relieve my guilt,
00:27:08.06\00:27:09.39
we're landing in
20 minutes anyway
00:27:09.42\00:27:10.96
so, what could
God do in 20 minutes?
00:27:10.99\00:27:12.93
Well, that was a
foolish thing to think,
00:27:12.96\00:27:15.26
because not long
after I prayed that prayer,
00:27:15.30\00:27:17.57
you know what the guy did?
00:27:17.60\00:27:19.00
Guess what book he
pulled out of his briefcase?
00:27:19.03\00:27:22.44
He pulled out a Bible
and he started reading it.
00:27:22.50\00:27:25.87
Now, I had just
asked God for a sign...
00:27:25.91\00:27:28.41
here the guy is
reading his Bible
00:27:28.44\00:27:30.35
and I'm thinking,
"Oh, that's just great,
00:27:30.38\00:27:32.25
I have to say something now. "
00:27:32.28\00:27:33.62
Now, I'm just being
honest in my human nature,
00:27:33.65\00:27:36.32
I wasn't in tune with God that
day like I should have been,
00:27:36.35\00:27:39.32
you know,
Ministers are human too
00:27:39.35\00:27:41.16
and, you know, I couldn't
think of anything to say.
00:27:41.19\00:27:43.29
You know, all this education...
I can't think of a thing to say,
00:27:43.32\00:27:46.90
all I can think to say is,
00:27:46.93\00:27:48.90
"Hmmm... that's a
good book isn't it?"
00:27:48.93\00:27:51.90
Can you imagine that?
00:27:51.93\00:27:53.27
Kind of a silly thing
to say but you know what?
00:27:53.30\00:27:55.87
It still opened the door.
00:27:55.90\00:27:57.94
God's not looking
for perfect people
00:27:57.97\00:28:00.88
who know how to say
exactly the right thing.
00:28:00.91\00:28:02.98
He's just looking
for willing people
00:28:03.01\00:28:05.21
and you know,
00:28:05.25\00:28:06.58
he started talking to
me about his ministry...
00:28:06.61\00:28:09.22
he has some healing ministry
00:28:09.28\00:28:10.89
and he commands the
Holy Spirit to do this
00:28:10.92\00:28:13.32
and to do that
00:28:13.36\00:28:14.69
and it became clear to me...
00:28:14.72\00:28:16.56
he believes
about the Holy Spirit
00:28:16.62\00:28:18.99
in a way that's
different from what I believe.
00:28:19.03\00:28:21.90
He believes in
speaking in unknown tongues then
00:28:21.96\00:28:24.80
and commanding
the spirit what to do.
00:28:24.83\00:28:26.63
Well, that's
different than what I believe
00:28:26.70\00:28:29.30
as a Seventh-day
Adventist Christian
00:28:29.34\00:28:30.81
and so, I had to figure out,
00:28:30.84\00:28:32.51
"What can I say to this
man to start a conversation
00:28:32.54\00:28:36.78
where we don't
start with differences
00:28:36.81\00:28:38.58
but we start with
what we have in common?"
00:28:38.61\00:28:40.52
And so, we started
talking about the importance
00:28:40.55\00:28:44.29
of having a
daily devotional life
00:28:44.35\00:28:46.19
and meditating on God's Word.
00:28:46.22\00:28:48.72
Do I hold that in common
with this Korean gentleman?
00:28:48.76\00:28:51.99
Certainly, we both do
so we talked about that.
00:28:52.06\00:28:55.40
I talked about the
importance of having a powerful
00:28:55.43\00:28:58.73
personal prayer life.
00:28:58.80\00:29:00.14
Do he and I have that in common?
00:29:00.17\00:29:02.34
We do... so we talked about that
00:29:02.37\00:29:04.54
and then we talked
about the importance
00:29:04.57\00:29:06.64
of being filled
with the Holy Spirit.
00:29:06.68\00:29:08.68
Now, as a Seventh-day Adventist,
00:29:08.71\00:29:10.65
do I hold that
in common with him?
00:29:10.68\00:29:12.58
And the answer is, "Yes. "
00:29:12.61\00:29:14.08
Now, we may not agree
00:29:14.12\00:29:15.55
how you get filled
with the Holy Spirit,
00:29:15.58\00:29:17.25
but we do agree that you need to
be filled with the Holy Spirit.
00:29:17.29\00:29:20.76
So, after we talked for a while,
00:29:20.82\00:29:22.99
I decided to just give
him a book on the Holy Spirit
00:29:23.02\00:29:26.36
and believe it or
not by God's providence,
00:29:26.39\00:29:29.00
I had a book in my
briefcase on the Holy Spirit
00:29:29.03\00:29:31.47
and I knew that this... the book
00:29:31.50\00:29:33.50
would address some
of our differences,
00:29:33.54\00:29:35.57
so, I gave him the
book and he accepted it.
00:29:35.60\00:29:39.01
Now, if I had started
out by arguing with him,
00:29:39.04\00:29:42.34
do you think he would
have accepted the book from me?
00:29:42.38\00:29:44.71
Probably not.
00:29:44.75\00:29:46.31
The fact that we started
with what we had in common
00:29:46.35\00:29:49.72
and I agreed with him on as
many points as I possibly could
00:29:49.78\00:29:53.92
that's what opened the
door for me to give him the book
00:29:53.96\00:29:58.06
and the book would
deal with the differences.
00:29:58.09\00:30:01.20
So, with this principle now,
00:30:01.23\00:30:03.83
I want to give you
a chance to apply it.
00:30:03.87\00:30:06.13
So, I want you to
break up in your groups
00:30:06.17\00:30:08.77
and I want you to
imagine this situation.
00:30:08.80\00:30:12.01
Your Baptist friend
has just said to you,
00:30:12.04\00:30:15.04
"I can't wait for
the rapture to occur!"
00:30:15.08\00:30:18.01
And, of course, she's referring
to the "Secret Rapture"
00:30:18.05\00:30:21.42
where you're snatched
away and things like that.
00:30:21.45\00:30:23.75
Now, as a Seventh-day Adventist,
00:30:23.79\00:30:25.65
that's different
from what we believe,
00:30:25.72\00:30:27.19
What can you say that's
not starting with differences
00:30:27.22\00:30:31.59
but that actually starts
with what you have in common?
00:30:31.63\00:30:35.93
I want you to take
three or four minutes
00:30:35.96\00:30:38.27
to talk about
this in your groups
00:30:38.30\00:30:40.04
and come up with a response
00:30:40.07\00:30:41.80
that focuses on
what you have in common,
00:30:41.84\00:30:44.04
but not your differences.
00:30:44.07\00:30:45.84
Pause the video, and
your time starts now.
00:30:45.87\00:30:49.14
Pause...
00:30:49.21\00:30:51.25
I'm interested to know in
what you said in your groups
00:30:51.28\00:30:54.32
but since I'm not there,
00:30:54.38\00:30:55.72
you don't have a
chance to tell me
00:30:55.75\00:30:57.12
but you may have said
some things like this,
00:30:57.15\00:30:59.32
"We could respond by saying,
00:30:59.35\00:31:01.86
'Well, I'm looking
forward to meeting Jesus too. '"
00:31:01.89\00:31:05.16
Do we have that in
common with our Baptist friend?
00:31:05.19\00:31:08.46
Certainly, we do.
00:31:08.50\00:31:09.83
A person may say, "Well,
I'm looking forward to heaven"
00:31:09.86\00:31:13.54
and that's
something we have in common.
00:31:13.60\00:31:15.67
Someone else may say,
00:31:15.70\00:31:17.41
"Well, I believe the
end is very soon too. "
00:31:17.47\00:31:19.87
See, these are all responses
00:31:19.91\00:31:22.31
where we're not
starting with differences
00:31:22.34\00:31:24.65
but we're looking for
what we have in common.
00:31:24.68\00:31:27.52
Now, someone who's
very hard-nosed may say,
00:31:27.58\00:31:30.39
"Oh, I don't like that,
00:31:30.42\00:31:31.75
you're just avoiding
giving them the truth,
00:31:31.79\00:31:33.76
you should give them
all the truth at once. "
00:31:33.79\00:31:35.82
But Folks, you got
to remember something.
00:31:35.89\00:31:38.16
When you give
people too much at once,
00:31:38.19\00:31:40.46
you may feel
good about yourself,
00:31:40.50\00:31:42.63
and say, "Oh, I
gave them the truth. "
00:31:42.66\00:31:44.00
But the truth is,
you've probably closed the door
00:31:44.03\00:31:48.07
and ruined any
further opportunity
00:31:48.10\00:31:50.17
for reaching their heart.
00:31:50.21\00:31:51.91
Even Ecclesiastes says,
00:31:51.94\00:31:54.38
"There's a time
for everything. "
00:31:54.44\00:31:55.78
There's a time to die,
there's a time to be born.
00:31:55.84\00:31:58.95
There's a time to kill,
there's a time to save life.
00:31:58.98\00:32:02.05
There is a time to be silent
and there is a time to speak
00:32:02.08\00:32:06.25
and we have to let
the Holy Spirit guide us
00:32:06.32\00:32:09.22
as to what we should say
00:32:09.26\00:32:10.99
and how we can start
with what we have in common.
00:32:11.03\00:32:15.56
That will open up
doors in the future.
00:32:15.60\00:32:19.13
Let's try one more...
00:32:19.17\00:32:20.97
break up in your groups
00:32:21.00\00:32:22.77
and I want you to
pretend that this has happened,
00:32:22.80\00:32:26.01
One of your friends
says to you at a funeral,
00:32:26.07\00:32:29.21
"I'm so happy my husband is
walking the streets of gold. "
00:32:29.24\00:32:33.95
And that can actually
happen, in fact, in one Seminar,
00:32:34.02\00:32:37.19
I had a lady say, "Oh that
just happen to me this week. "
00:32:37.22\00:32:40.26
I mean, so this
is very real to life.
00:32:40.29\00:32:42.86
So, what is
something you could say here
00:32:42.89\00:32:45.39
that doesn't start with
what your differences are,
00:32:45.43\00:32:49.13
but starts with
what you have in common,
00:32:49.16\00:32:52.00
what would you say?
00:32:52.03\00:32:53.37
So, again, pause the video...
00:32:53.40\00:32:54.74
just take three or four minutes
and discuss this in your group.
00:32:54.77\00:32:58.47
Pause...
00:32:58.51\00:33:00.38
All right, we're
back together again.
00:33:00.41\00:33:02.41
It's interesting to know
what various groups have said
00:33:02.44\00:33:06.25
over the years that
we've done this Seminar.
00:33:06.28\00:33:08.48
One person said,
00:33:08.52\00:33:10.09
"Well, I'm glad death isn't
the end for the Christian. "
00:33:10.12\00:33:13.66
Now, as a Seventh-day Adventist,
can I agree with that as well?
00:33:13.69\00:33:18.59
I can... because we
don't believe death is the end
00:33:18.63\00:33:20.60
for the Christian... we
believe in a resurrection.
00:33:20.63\00:33:22.56
Another person might say,
00:33:22.60\00:33:24.83
"I am sure that
you are looking forward
00:33:24.87\00:33:27.44
to being reunited one day. "
00:33:27.47\00:33:29.17
As a Seventh-day Adventist,
can I agree with that one?
00:33:29.20\00:33:32.51
Certainly.
00:33:32.54\00:33:33.88
Another person might say,
00:33:33.91\00:33:35.74
"I can understand
why you feel that way. "
00:33:35.78\00:33:39.01
And if you think about it,
00:33:39.05\00:33:41.25
we can understand why
it's comforting for someone
00:33:41.28\00:33:45.15
to think that their
loved one is in heaven.
00:33:45.19\00:33:47.16
Even though we know the
Bible teaches differently,
00:33:47.19\00:33:49.79
I can understand why
that might be comforting
00:33:49.82\00:33:52.83
if you don't know the full truth
00:33:52.86\00:33:54.73
and so, I acknowledge that.
00:33:54.76\00:33:56.56
I don't agree that it's right,
but I can acknowledge that.
00:33:56.60\00:33:59.53
And lastly, a little tip,
00:33:59.57\00:34:02.40
if you can't think of
anything at all to say,
00:34:02.44\00:34:05.61
and sometimes, that will happen,
00:34:05.64\00:34:06.98
the old phrase is so
true, "Silence is golden. "
00:34:07.01\00:34:13.05
You can just be
silent and smile.
00:34:13.08\00:34:15.95
That's a lot of times what I do
00:34:15.98\00:34:18.79
when I can't think
of something to say,
00:34:18.82\00:34:20.16
I'll just smile and be
silent or I might just say,
00:34:20.19\00:34:23.32
"I can understand
why you feel that way. "
00:34:23.36\00:34:26.09
So, if you come up
and talk to me afterwards
00:34:26.13\00:34:28.80
and I say, "I can understand
why you feel that way... "
00:34:28.86\00:34:31.07
it probably means, "I
don't agree with you... "
00:34:31.10\00:34:32.73
but I shouldn't
let my secret out...
00:34:32.77\00:34:34.30
just be silent and smile...
00:34:34.34\00:34:36.50
you don't even
have to say anything.
00:34:36.54\00:34:38.74
Always look to start
with what you have in common.
00:34:38.77\00:34:42.61
Let's look at
Principle Number 2:
00:34:42.64\00:34:45.55
Never criticize or condemn.
00:34:45.61\00:34:48.88
Seek to build the person up...
00:34:48.92\00:34:51.79
look for the
good that's in them.
00:34:51.82\00:34:54.42
Now, this is pretty elementary,
00:34:54.46\00:34:57.03
but what I found is that
the things that are so simple
00:34:57.06\00:35:01.06
and common sense
00:35:01.10\00:35:02.43
are the things that we
seem to neglect the most.
00:35:02.46\00:35:06.10
You have to understand,
criticism and condemnation
00:35:06.13\00:35:09.70
will never cause anyone to
make a true lasting decision.
00:35:09.74\00:35:14.34
It always pushes people away.
00:35:14.38\00:35:17.58
To illustrate this,
00:35:17.65\00:35:19.81
I want to invite you
to imagine something.
00:35:19.85\00:35:22.38
I want you to think of
some person you've known
00:35:22.42\00:35:26.86
in any church that
you've ever gone to,
00:35:26.89\00:35:28.49
now, please don't
say their name out loud.
00:35:28.52\00:35:30.13
But I want you
to think of someone
00:35:30.16\00:35:32.69
who is known to be a critical
and a condemning person.
00:35:32.73\00:35:36.26
Someone who never
has anything good to say.
00:35:36.30\00:35:38.70
You know and they may
hold an office in the church...
00:35:38.73\00:35:40.94
they may even be in the
Church Board, I don't know,
00:35:40.97\00:35:43.14
but unfortunately,
00:35:43.20\00:35:44.54
almost every church
has at least one of them.
00:35:44.57\00:35:47.28
I want you to think of that
person in your mind right now.
00:35:47.31\00:35:50.71
Again, don't say
the name out loud...
00:35:50.75\00:35:52.41
and ask this question,
00:35:52.45\00:35:54.62
"Have you ever seen
them bring anyone to church?"
00:35:54.65\00:35:58.55
"Have you ever seen
them give a Bible Study
00:35:58.59\00:36:02.49
that resulted in a decision?"
00:36:02.52\00:36:03.86
"Have you ever
seen them bring someone
00:36:03.93\00:36:07.36
to the point of baptism?"
00:36:07.40\00:36:09.73
And 95% of the time,
00:36:09.76\00:36:13.30
the answer to
that question is "No. "
00:36:13.34\00:36:16.47
Because a
critical, condemning person
00:36:16.50\00:36:19.64
will never be a soul winner.
00:36:19.67\00:36:22.08
I want to say that again,
00:36:22.11\00:36:24.41
"A critical, condemning person
00:36:24.48\00:36:27.52
will never be
able to lead someone
00:36:27.55\00:36:30.62
to the foot of Jesus... "
00:36:30.69\00:36:32.15
will never be able to
lead them to the cross
00:36:32.22\00:36:34.96
to make a decision
00:36:34.99\00:36:36.62
because
criticism and condemnation
00:36:36.66\00:36:39.59
pushes people away.
00:36:39.63\00:36:41.93
Pause...
00:36:41.96\00:36:43.73
But, let's just get real
00:36:43.77\00:36:45.10
because I believe in
real-life illustrations.
00:36:45.13\00:36:47.17
Maybe this has happened
in your church, I don't know,
00:36:47.24\00:36:50.94
but let's say that there
is a young lady... 16 or 17...
00:36:50.97\00:36:54.64
and she just... she
made a mistake on night...
00:36:54.68\00:36:57.55
went too far
and she got pregnant
00:36:57.58\00:37:00.15
and now, she's
about to become a mother.
00:37:00.18\00:37:02.52
And as few months pass,
00:37:02.58\00:37:05.12
someone in the church
has the audacity to say,
00:37:05.15\00:37:08.89
"Ah, let's give
her a Baby Shower. "
00:37:08.92\00:37:11.63
Well, that would certainly
promote some discussion
00:37:11.66\00:37:14.56
because there will
be one side that says,
00:37:14.60\00:37:16.87
"No, we can't do
that because it's like...
00:37:16.90\00:37:19.10
we're condoning what happened. "
00:37:19.13\00:37:20.47
And then, there's
another side that would say,
00:37:20.50\00:37:22.27
"Well, you know, we
can't change the past,
00:37:22.30\00:37:24.21
we need to let her
know we still support her
00:37:24.24\00:37:26.47
and we need to help
her be a new mother. "
00:37:26.51\00:37:28.64
Well, I'm not here to tell
you which way you should think.
00:37:28.68\00:37:31.58
That's not the point,
00:37:31.61\00:37:33.01
my personal opinion is that
00:37:33.05\00:37:34.98
I don't have a
problem having the baby shower
00:37:35.02\00:37:36.79
because what's
in the past is done.
00:37:36.85\00:37:39.45
Chances are very strong...
when a person makes a mistake,
00:37:39.49\00:37:42.62
they already know it
00:37:42.69\00:37:44.03
and they're
dealing with that shame...
00:37:44.06\00:37:45.59
they're dealing
with that guilt...
00:37:45.63\00:37:47.56
and that young
lady needs to know
00:37:47.60\00:37:49.50
that her church family may
not condone the act she did
00:37:49.53\00:37:53.03
but that they are
willing to help her
00:37:53.07\00:37:55.00
enter this new
phase of her life,
00:37:55.04\00:37:56.91
where she's going to be a
mother at a very young age.
00:37:56.97\00:38:01.31
Never criticize or condemn.
00:38:01.34\00:38:04.55
Now, yes, there may be a place
00:38:04.58\00:38:06.85
where someone may have a
conversation with that person
00:38:06.88\00:38:09.85
but see, here's the problem
specially with young people,
00:38:09.88\00:38:12.82
many times...
00:38:12.85\00:38:14.82
the only time a young
person hears something
00:38:14.86\00:38:17.13
from someone in the church
is when it's a negative thing
00:38:17.16\00:38:20.06
and someone comes to them
and they point out the negative.
00:38:20.10\00:38:22.96
Well, if you
want to earn the right
00:38:23.00\00:38:25.30
to be able to
talk to a young person
00:38:25.33\00:38:27.64
about sensitive things,
00:38:27.67\00:38:29.00
you got to earn that right by
being involved in their lives.
00:38:29.04\00:38:32.37
Well, what about the
rest of their lives...
00:38:32.41\00:38:34.64
the first... you know,
the other five or six years?
00:38:34.68\00:38:36.95
Have you ever talked to
them at church and said,
00:38:36.98\00:38:39.55
"Hey, how are you doing?"
00:38:39.58\00:38:41.05
Have you ever sent them
cards in the mail that said,
00:38:41.08\00:38:43.05
"I'm praying for you. "
00:38:43.08\00:38:44.42
Have you pulled them
aside at church and said,
00:38:44.45\00:38:46.02
"Let me pray for what's
going on in school for you. "
00:38:46.05\00:38:48.49
When you take a positive
interest in somebody's life,
00:38:48.52\00:38:52.66
then you earn the right to be
able to say the difficult things
00:38:52.69\00:38:57.30
because they've
learned to trust you.
00:38:57.33\00:38:59.43
But if you're going
to ignore a young person
00:38:59.47\00:39:02.04
or someone at any age...
00:39:02.07\00:39:03.44
and you're only
going to approach them
00:39:03.47\00:39:05.64
and point out the
negative things in their life,
00:39:05.67\00:39:07.81
you don't have
the right to do that
00:39:07.84\00:39:09.54
because you have not
earned the right to say it
00:39:09.58\00:39:12.78
through friendship.
00:39:12.81\00:39:14.15
When you go to friendship,
they learn to trust you.
00:39:14.18\00:39:19.02
Never criticize or condemn.
00:39:19.05\00:39:22.12
Now someone will say,
00:39:22.16\00:39:23.49
"Well, you're just going to
let go of all the standards?"
00:39:23.53\00:39:25.39
This has nothing to do with
letting go of the standards.
00:39:25.43\00:39:28.30
This has to do with
connecting with someone's heart
00:39:28.33\00:39:31.50
so that you can
bring them back to Jesus
00:39:31.53\00:39:34.37
or that you can help
them connect with Jesus
00:39:34.40\00:39:37.17
in a greater way.
00:39:37.21\00:39:38.74
Criticism and
condemnation will never engender
00:39:38.77\00:39:42.24
a trusting relationship.
00:39:42.28\00:39:44.71
There's a quote I love so
much from "Evangelism" page 141,
00:39:44.75\00:39:49.92
notice what she writes here.
00:39:49.95\00:39:51.45
She says, "Your
success will not depend so much
00:39:51.49\00:39:56.56
upon your knowledge
and accomplishments,
00:39:56.62\00:39:58.69
as upon your ability to
find your way to the heart. "
00:39:58.76\00:40:03.60
Now, what do you
think that statement means?
00:40:03.63\00:40:06.43
"Finding your way to the heart?"
00:40:06.50\00:40:09.04
You know what a
synonym for that is?
00:40:09.10\00:40:11.61
It's friendship...
00:40:11.64\00:40:13.17
connecting with people...
00:40:13.21\00:40:16.11
looking for the
good that is in them
00:40:16.14\00:40:18.05
and it says, "That's what
your success depends upon. "
00:40:18.08\00:40:21.15
It's not that you have
to have a Seminary degree...
00:40:21.18\00:40:24.22
that you have to be
some sort of theologian...
00:40:24.25\00:40:27.16
you just have to know how
to connect with someone's heart
00:40:27.19\00:40:30.59
through friendship.
00:40:30.63\00:40:32.23
That's why there are some
people with Master's and Ph. D.s
00:40:32.29\00:40:36.60
but they're not a soul winner
00:40:36.67\00:40:38.00
because they
know the information
00:40:38.03\00:40:39.53
but they can't
connect with a person's heart.
00:40:39.57\00:40:42.57
You may be an average,
ordinary church member...
00:40:42.60\00:40:45.57
and actually
there's no such thing
00:40:45.61\00:40:46.94
as an "average
ordinary church member"
00:40:46.98\00:40:48.44
but you may be a lay person...
00:40:48.48\00:40:50.55
never been to
Seminary in your life
00:40:50.58\00:40:52.21
but she says, "Your success
depends upon your ability
00:40:52.25\00:40:58.09
to connect with the heart. "
00:40:58.15\00:41:00.16
Any lay person
can be a soul winner
00:41:00.19\00:41:03.43
if they know how to be a friend.
00:41:03.46\00:41:06.70
Think of a doctor,
00:41:06.73\00:41:08.66
you may know a
doctor who knows his stuff
00:41:08.70\00:41:11.37
but doesn't have a
good bedside manner,
00:41:11.40\00:41:14.00
you don't feel
comfortable talking to him about
00:41:14.04\00:41:16.64
personal things.
00:41:16.71\00:41:18.37
We want to make sure
that we're not like that.
00:41:18.41\00:41:21.24
Religious people that
got all the right information
00:41:21.28\00:41:24.45
in our heads,
00:41:24.48\00:41:25.81
but yet we don't know
how to mingle with people,
00:41:25.85\00:41:27.55
that don't know Jesus.
00:41:27.62\00:41:30.12
Lastly, Principle Number 3:
00:41:30.15\00:41:32.32
and this is the
one that we'll end on
00:41:32.35\00:41:34.02
but it's an important one.
00:41:34.06\00:41:35.39
Learn to accept
people where they are.
00:41:35.42\00:41:39.39
Never show disgust...
00:41:39.43\00:41:41.33
Be their friend
despite their bad habits...
00:41:41.36\00:41:44.13
Love them in
spite of who they are.
00:41:44.17\00:41:46.63
Now, that doesn't mean that you
condone the things that they do,
00:41:46.67\00:41:49.60
but you must remember,
00:41:49.67\00:41:51.21
when it comes to befriending
people who don't know the Lord,
00:41:51.24\00:41:55.04
their life is
going to be different.
00:41:55.08\00:41:56.54
There's probably going
to be things in their life
00:41:56.61\00:41:58.91
you don't understand,
00:41:58.95\00:42:00.78
they might be making choices
that's killing themselves
00:42:00.82\00:42:03.82
and destroying their family.
00:42:03.85\00:42:05.69
You may even find parts of their
lifestyle to be disgusting...
00:42:05.72\00:42:09.36
you just... you
can't understand it
00:42:09.39\00:42:10.86
but Folks, they look at the
world from a different angle.
00:42:10.93\00:42:14.36
We need to accept
them where they are.
00:42:14.40\00:42:17.30
In other words, realize...
00:42:17.37\00:42:19.13
this is where
they are right now.
00:42:19.17\00:42:20.57
Maybe it's not where
God wants them to be,
00:42:20.64\00:42:22.77
but we come alongside...
we become their friend
00:42:22.80\00:42:26.07
and we help them on
the journey to know Jesus.
00:42:26.14\00:42:29.38
That's what God
invites us to do...
00:42:29.41\00:42:32.08
that's what Jesus did.
00:42:32.11\00:42:33.45
I mean if Jesus can spend
time at Zacchaeus' house...
00:42:33.48\00:42:37.39
I mean, the people
criticized Him for that,
00:42:37.42\00:42:39.39
if Jesus...
00:42:39.42\00:42:41.12
if Jesus can spend time having
dinner with Tax Collectors,
00:42:41.16\00:42:45.19
I mean, the Pharisees
had a conniption fit...
00:42:45.23\00:42:48.00
Jesus understood this
principle of accepting people
00:42:48.03\00:42:52.60
where they are.
00:42:52.63\00:42:54.70
They may not be
where God wants them to be
00:42:54.74\00:42:57.44
but we can help them
along in their journey.
00:42:57.47\00:43:01.21
Let me give you
one last illustration.
00:43:01.24\00:43:03.85
Now, I mean no
offence by this illustration
00:43:03.88\00:43:06.35
it's just very real to life.
00:43:06.38\00:43:07.88
In Pennsylvania
when I was a Pastor,
00:43:07.92\00:43:10.82
we were holding Evangelistic
Meetings in a hotel one night,
00:43:10.85\00:43:14.79
and I remember there
was a gentleman... came...
00:43:14.92\00:43:17.26
and I found out later,
he was from out of town
00:43:17.29\00:43:19.63
but when he would come in town,
00:43:19.66\00:43:22.06
he would actually
come to the meetings.
00:43:22.10\00:43:23.93
Well, when the
meetings were over,
00:43:23.97\00:43:26.60
he and I kept in
touch through e-mail
00:43:26.63\00:43:28.70
and when he
would come into town,
00:43:28.77\00:43:30.67
we would meet together and we
would just talk about the Bible
00:43:30.71\00:43:33.01
and spiritual things.
00:43:33.07\00:43:34.68
Well, later on, I realized that
he lived an alternate lifestyle.
00:43:34.74\00:43:41.18
I didn't pick up
on that right away
00:43:41.22\00:43:42.88
and so, at that
point, I had two options.
00:43:42.95\00:43:45.49
I could say, "Well, you
know, I don't agree with that
00:43:45.55\00:43:48.36
so I'm not going to
be this guy's friend... "
00:43:48.39\00:43:50.19
or I could say,
"I'm going to accept
00:43:50.23\00:43:52.79
that that's where
he is... right now.
00:43:52.83\00:43:55.16
Maybe not where
God wants him to be
00:43:55.20\00:43:57.37
but that's where he is,
00:43:57.40\00:43:58.73
so, I'm going to
continue to be his friend...
00:43:58.77\00:44:00.77
pray for him...
00:44:00.80\00:44:02.14
pray for open doors
00:44:02.17\00:44:03.51
and help him as he
grows closer to Jesus. "
00:44:03.54\00:44:05.87
Well, that's the
option that I chose.
00:44:05.91\00:44:08.24
But you know, a
few months later,
00:44:08.28\00:44:10.38
after we had
developed a friendship,
00:44:10.41\00:44:12.48
he asked me a direct
question... I could not avoid.
00:44:12.51\00:44:15.68
He just looked right at me,
00:44:15.72\00:44:17.49
he said, "Dave, how do you feel
about the alternate lifestyle?"
00:44:17.52\00:44:21.76
Well, there was
no avoiding that one.
00:44:21.79\00:44:24.19
But see, we had already started
with what we had in common,
00:44:24.23\00:44:28.16
that's how we built our
friendship over a few months.
00:44:28.23\00:44:31.13
And so, in a very loving
way, I simply shared with him,
00:44:31.20\00:44:34.07
I said, "Joe... "
that's not his name...
00:44:34.14\00:44:35.94
but I said, "Joe, I know
God loves you as He loves me,
00:44:35.97\00:44:40.14
you know, all of us have things
we struggle with in our life
00:44:40.18\00:44:44.41
and I believe
the Bible is clear,
00:44:44.45\00:44:46.38
God does not want
us to live that...
00:44:46.41\00:44:48.28
that type of lifestyle...
make those decisions...
00:44:48.32\00:44:50.72
but, you know what?
00:44:50.75\00:44:52.29
Just like you, I've
got issues in my life,
00:44:52.35\00:44:54.69
there are decisions I need
to learn to make differently,
00:44:54.72\00:44:57.76
there are things that I
need to let God take over
00:44:57.79\00:45:00.53
and give me victory in
00:45:00.56\00:45:02.03
and I believe that God
can do the same for you, Joe,
00:45:02.06\00:45:05.27
because I know He loves you. "
00:45:05.33\00:45:06.67
But do you think
Joe accepted that?
00:45:06.70\00:45:09.57
He did.
00:45:09.60\00:45:11.24
Now, I'm not
saying he agreed with it,
00:45:11.27\00:45:13.01
I'm not saying that he may
be... even totally liked it,
00:45:13.04\00:45:15.28
but we could still be friends
00:45:15.31\00:45:17.38
because I was able to
say it in a loving way
00:45:17.41\00:45:19.61
and over the past few months,
00:45:19.65\00:45:21.85
he knew that I cared for him.
00:45:21.88\00:45:24.12
He knew that I was his friend.
00:45:24.15\00:45:26.32
When we learn to
follow these three principles,
00:45:26.35\00:45:30.39
start with what
we have in common,
00:45:30.43\00:45:31.89
refrain from
criticizing or condemning,
00:45:31.93\00:45:35.33
and learn to accept
people where they are.
00:45:35.36\00:45:38.70
We can be a soul winner
00:45:38.73\00:45:41.80
because as God
works in their life,
00:45:41.84\00:45:44.01
the things in their life
which they need to get rid of...
00:45:44.04\00:45:47.14
maybe the choices they are
making that need to be changed,
00:45:47.18\00:45:50.25
the Holy Spirit will do
that work in their life,
00:45:50.28\00:45:53.01
because your own example will
be a great influence to them.
00:45:53.05\00:45:57.35
That's why God calls
you to be a soul winner
00:45:57.39\00:46:00.12
through being a friend
and connecting with people.
00:46:00.16\00:46:03.99
Let's end with this
pertinent Bible Verse,
00:46:04.03\00:46:07.80
In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said,
00:46:07.83\00:46:12.03
"Come to Me,
00:46:12.07\00:46:13.97
all you who labor
and are heavy laden
00:46:14.00\00:46:17.47
and I will give you rest...
00:46:17.51\00:46:19.81
for I am gentle
and lowly in heart,
00:46:19.87\00:46:22.81
and You will find
rest for your souls. "
00:46:22.84\00:46:25.45
See, Jesus was a safe person.
00:46:25.48\00:46:29.25
The Bible says, it
was actually sinners
00:46:29.28\00:46:32.15
who felt most
comfortable around Christ.
00:46:32.19\00:46:35.42
Not because He
encouraged them to continue
00:46:35.46\00:46:38.66
living that lifestyle...
00:46:38.69\00:46:40.03
not because He encouraged them
to keep making those choices,
00:46:40.06\00:46:44.17
but because in Jesus they
found a friend who accepted
00:46:44.20\00:46:48.17
this is where they are...
00:46:48.20\00:46:49.74
and Jesus got
involved in their life
00:46:49.77\00:46:52.47
and through His friendship
and though His influence,
00:46:52.51\00:46:56.18
they were converted
and they were changed.
00:46:56.21\00:46:59.71
The question for
you and I is this,
00:46:59.75\00:47:02.85
"Are we like Jesus?"
00:47:02.88\00:47:05.55
"Are we a safe person?"
00:47:05.59\00:47:08.16
"Can people come to us and know
that we will care for them...
00:47:08.19\00:47:13.26
that we will love them...
00:47:13.29\00:47:15.36
that we want to be in
harmony with them... "
00:47:15.40\00:47:17.90
because when we turn
it over to God and say,
00:47:17.93\00:47:20.34
"God, give me someone
that I can be a friend to. "
00:47:20.40\00:47:23.27
God will work a miracle
00:47:23.30\00:47:25.91
and through your
friendship over time,
00:47:25.94\00:47:28.68
a person can be changed
00:47:28.71\00:47:31.05
to become more
and more like Jesus.
00:47:31.08\00:47:34.38
Throughout this Seminar,
00:47:34.42\00:47:36.42
I want to ask you
to continue praying.
00:47:36.45\00:47:38.29
Ask God to bring across
your path that one person
00:47:38.32\00:47:43.12
who needs to have a
Christian as a friend...
00:47:43.16\00:47:45.89
one person that
doesn't know Jesus...
00:47:45.93\00:47:48.10
that you are
willing to connect with.
00:47:48.13\00:47:50.23
Ask God to impress that
person's name upon your mind.
00:47:50.27\00:47:54.37
Let's pray.
00:47:54.40\00:47:55.94
"Heavenly Father,
00:47:55.97\00:47:58.27
we recognize that You have
called us to be soul winners,
00:47:58.31\00:48:02.74
and Lord, we may not be able to
explain everything in the Bible,
00:48:02.78\00:48:07.12
but we can be a friend.
00:48:07.15\00:48:08.88
Teach us how to
apply these principles,
00:48:08.92\00:48:12.22
and Lord, give us opportunities
each day to plant a seed...
00:48:12.25\00:48:16.62
bring one person into our life
00:48:16.66\00:48:18.83
who is going to need
a Christian as a friend,
00:48:18.86\00:48:21.93
we're not perfect Lord,
00:48:21.96\00:48:23.87
but we give ourselves to You,
00:48:23.90\00:48:26.37
to be used as Your missionary.
00:48:26.40\00:48:29.74
We pray in Jesus' name, amen. "
00:48:29.77\00:48:33.07
Music...
00:48:33.11\00:48:37.21
We're about to
begin Session Number 2
00:48:37.25\00:48:39.98
where we're going to talk about
"Every-Day Opportunities. "
00:48:40.02\00:48:43.79
Now, the key word in
Session 1 was about friendship
00:48:43.82\00:48:47.82
and we learned that
it is utterly important
00:48:47.86\00:48:50.93
to build friendships with people
00:48:50.96\00:48:52.83
when it comes to soul winning.
00:48:52.86\00:48:54.66
In fact, friendship
is always the first step
00:48:54.70\00:48:58.37
in personal evangelism
00:48:58.40\00:49:00.20
and we look to the life of Jesus
00:49:00.24\00:49:02.04
and we realized how well
Jesus understood this principle.
00:49:02.10\00:49:06.61
He was always
spending time with people...
00:49:06.64\00:49:09.58
eating in their homes...
00:49:09.64\00:49:11.31
mingling with them
in the marketplace,
00:49:11.35\00:49:13.68
sitting down with
them in small groups,
00:49:13.72\00:49:15.98
and He did this in
order to connect with them...
00:49:16.02\00:49:18.85
to build a friendship
00:49:18.92\00:49:20.46
and to touch their hearts.
00:49:20.49\00:49:22.12
And by doing so, it opened
many doors of opportunities
00:49:22.16\00:49:26.43
for him to have
spiritual conversations
00:49:26.46\00:49:28.93
and to plant
seeds for the gospel.
00:49:28.96\00:49:31.37
Well, in this Session,
00:49:31.40\00:49:33.00
we're going to take
that principle even farther,
00:49:33.03\00:49:35.94
and we're going to learn how
to recognize those opportunities
00:49:35.97\00:49:39.54
that God gives us
in every-day life...
00:49:39.57\00:49:42.24
in our workplaces...
00:49:42.28\00:49:43.61
in the neighborhood...
00:49:43.65\00:49:44.98
even at the schools where we go.
00:49:45.01\00:49:46.95
So, let's have a word of prayer
00:49:46.98\00:49:48.95
and let's learn about
some exciting principles
00:49:48.98\00:49:51.75
that we can use
in our daily life.
00:49:51.79\00:49:54.22
"Heavenly Father,
00:49:54.26\00:49:56.46
as we begin this session,
we are asking for Your light.
00:49:56.49\00:50:00.70
Lord, we need you to
create in us a love for people
00:50:00.76\00:50:04.60
that we might learn to
look at them the way Jesus did.
00:50:04.63\00:50:08.47
Teach us how to
use these principles
00:50:08.50\00:50:11.17
and show us Lord
who it is in our life
00:50:11.21\00:50:13.84
that needs our friendship,
00:50:13.88\00:50:15.21
and who it is that you
want us to spend time with,
00:50:15.24\00:50:18.78
this we ask in
Jesus' name, amen. "
00:50:18.81\00:50:23.08
All right, let's get going
on every day opportunities.
00:50:23.12\00:50:27.82
Let's take a look
at the first slide.
00:50:27.86\00:50:29.69
Every-day evangelism
basically consists of
00:50:29.72\00:50:33.66
three simple steps.
00:50:33.70\00:50:35.20
Number 1: You have to establish
a relationship with a person.
00:50:35.23\00:50:38.83
so in other words, you are
praying and you are saying,
00:50:38.87\00:50:42.44
"God, can you bring
one person into my life
00:50:42.47\00:50:45.57
that doesn't know Jesus?
00:50:45.61\00:50:46.94
Just one person with whom
I can build a friendship. "
00:50:46.98\00:50:50.78
And as we pray
that prayer each day,
00:50:50.81\00:50:53.65
God will bring
someone across our path
00:50:53.72\00:50:56.89
and when He does,
we then need to focus
00:50:56.92\00:50:59.69
on establishing a
friendship with them.
00:50:59.72\00:51:02.42
Step Number 2 is where we learn
to discover their interests.
00:51:02.49\00:51:07.20
Find out about their lives...
00:51:07.23\00:51:09.30
learn what makes them tick...
00:51:09.33\00:51:11.33
and that's going to
require doing something
00:51:11.37\00:51:14.27
that's very hard for
us human beings to do.
00:51:14.30\00:51:17.77
It's a very simple
word with six letters
00:51:17.81\00:51:21.24
that begins with an "L".
00:51:21.28\00:51:23.31
Would you like to
guess what that is?
00:51:23.35\00:51:25.15
It is the word, "Listen. "
00:51:25.18\00:51:27.78
Instead of trying to figure out
what we want to tell a person
00:51:27.82\00:51:31.69
or what we think
they need to know,
00:51:31.72\00:51:33.69
we have to learn to shut
our mouths and just listen
00:51:33.72\00:51:37.49
to their heart.
00:51:37.53\00:51:38.86
Listen and
understand what's going on
00:51:38.89\00:51:41.23
in their life.
00:51:41.26\00:51:42.60
That's how you
discover someone's interests.
00:51:42.63\00:51:45.03
And then comes Step Number 3
where we look for an open door
00:51:45.07\00:51:49.57
where we can share a
small spiritual tidbit
00:51:49.60\00:51:52.97
and plant a little
seed for the gospel.
00:51:53.01\00:51:56.31
Now, please notice the
word that is used there...
00:51:56.34\00:51:59.08
it is the word "tidbit. "
00:51:59.11\00:52:00.78
Now, if I were
to ask you to define
00:52:00.82\00:52:03.18
what the word "tidbit" means,
00:52:03.22\00:52:05.12
you would probably
say, "Something small. "
00:52:05.15\00:52:07.89
So, in other words,
00:52:07.92\00:52:09.26
when you're going to throw
out a small spiritual "tidbit"
00:52:09.29\00:52:11.99
it should be something
that is not shocking...
00:52:12.06\00:52:15.16
not offensive...
and not overwhelming.
00:52:15.20\00:52:18.70
For example, the
"Mark of the Beast"
00:52:18.73\00:52:22.20
is not a small spiritual tidbit.
00:52:22.24\00:52:25.51
That is not the place you
want to begin with someone
00:52:25.57\00:52:28.88
right at the
beginning of a relationship.
00:52:28.91\00:52:31.88
So, let's start with Number 1.
00:52:31.91\00:52:33.82
Now, we spent a lot of
time talking about this
00:52:33.85\00:52:36.28
in the last session
00:52:36.32\00:52:37.65
but to establish a relationship,
00:52:37.69\00:52:39.65
you've got to spend
time with that person.
00:52:39.69\00:52:42.89
Now, for me, it
might be playing basketball
00:52:42.92\00:52:46.13
because that's
what I love to do...
00:52:46.16\00:52:47.53
I'm going to do it anyway.
00:52:47.56\00:52:49.23
So, if there's
someone at my workplace,
00:52:49.26\00:52:51.53
and maybe they don't know Jesus,
00:52:51.57\00:52:53.50
God has laid
their name on my heart.
00:52:53.54\00:52:55.40
If they play basketball,
00:52:55.44\00:52:57.37
that's a great way for
me to get to know them.
00:52:57.41\00:52:59.97
I can invite them to
play basketball with me
00:53:00.01\00:53:02.54
at the church gym
00:53:02.58\00:53:03.91
or maybe at the
Fitness Center Gym
00:53:03.95\00:53:05.91
and by doing so,
I'll spend time with them
00:53:05.95\00:53:08.85
and we will begin to
build a relationship.
00:53:08.88\00:53:11.69
For other people, that
might involve playing golf.
00:53:11.72\00:53:15.36
If you love to play golf
00:53:15.39\00:53:17.33
and you got a neighbor
that doesn't know Jesus,
00:53:17.36\00:53:20.16
and God's laid
their name on your heart,
00:53:20.20\00:53:22.03
go play golf with them.
00:53:22.06\00:53:23.53
It's not taking any more
time out of your schedule
00:53:23.57\00:53:26.37
because you were
going to play golf anyway.
00:53:26.40\00:53:28.74
Now, it's true,
00:53:28.77\00:53:30.17
your neighbor might use
language that you don't,
00:53:30.21\00:53:32.84
he might throw his clubs around
when things don't go right,
00:53:32.87\00:53:35.91
but that's okay... you
don't have to do the same,
00:53:35.94\00:53:38.88
in fact, the way
you live your life
00:53:38.91\00:53:41.62
will be an example
and an influence to him.
00:53:41.65\00:53:44.25
For others, this may be
attending someone's cookout...
00:53:44.29\00:53:47.72
going to a pool party...
00:53:47.76\00:53:49.72
or even cross-stitching.
00:53:49.79\00:53:51.69
Now, just in case you don't
know what cross-stitching is,
00:53:51.73\00:53:54.90
this would probably
work best for the ladies.
00:53:54.93\00:53:57.17
Now my wife
loves to cross-stitch
00:53:57.20\00:53:59.30
and this is how I
see cross-stitching.
00:53:59.33\00:54:02.00
If I had to explain
it, it would be like this.
00:54:02.07\00:54:04.81
There's basically
this piece of material
00:54:04.87\00:54:07.88
that, to me, has about a
billion different holes in it
00:54:07.91\00:54:11.15
and then you have a pattern
00:54:11.18\00:54:12.65
and in this pattern,
00:54:12.68\00:54:14.18
it's divided up into
many microscopic little boxes
00:54:14.22\00:54:18.32
and each box has a number on it
00:54:18.35\00:54:20.42
and that number corresponds
to a certain color of thread.
00:54:20.46\00:54:24.16
So, you've got to
buy the right thread...
00:54:24.19\00:54:26.19
hook it or thread
it into the needle
00:54:26.23\00:54:28.70
and then you put it in and out
00:54:28.73\00:54:30.57
and in and out of all
these microscopic squares
00:54:30.60\00:54:33.94
while you're
following the pattern
00:54:33.97\00:54:35.94
and if you do
this for about an hour,
00:54:35.97\00:54:37.87
and then you find out
that you put the needle
00:54:37.91\00:54:40.58
in the wrong holes, guess what?
00:54:40.61\00:54:42.74
You got to start all over again.
00:54:42.78\00:54:44.88
My wife will sit on
the chair and she'll say,
00:54:44.91\00:54:47.92
"Oh, you ought to try
this, it's so relaxing. "
00:54:47.95\00:54:50.89
And I'm thinking to myself,
"That would drive me crazy. "
00:54:50.95\00:54:55.59
But if it's
something you enjoy doing,
00:54:55.62\00:54:58.09
and say, your neighbor across
the street cross-stitches,
00:54:58.13\00:55:02.03
you can share patterns together,
00:55:02.06\00:55:04.30
you can even share
your pictures together.
00:55:04.33\00:55:06.10
It's a way to
develop a relationship.
00:55:06.13\00:55:09.40
But let's go to Step Number 2...
00:55:09.44\00:55:12.47
this is what we have
not discussed before.
00:55:12.51\00:55:14.74
This is where you are
developing a relationship,
00:55:14.78\00:55:17.88
now you want to
discover their interest...
00:55:17.91\00:55:20.85
learn something about them
00:55:20.88\00:55:22.78
and this is where
we have to listen.
00:55:22.82\00:55:25.62
Now, it may be that at times,
00:55:25.65\00:55:28.76
you have
experienced that awkward silence
00:55:28.79\00:55:31.73
where you're not sure
what to say to someone.
00:55:31.76\00:55:34.63
Maybe you don't
know them very well
00:55:34.66\00:55:36.90
or there's a stranger
00:55:36.93\00:55:38.27
and you don't know what
to say inside that elevator
00:55:38.30\00:55:41.14
or you don't know what to say
00:55:41.17\00:55:42.90
when they're sitting
at your dining room table
00:55:42.94\00:55:45.01
or maybe it's a
visitor at church
00:55:45.04\00:55:47.28
and you're sitting at potluck
00:55:47.31\00:55:48.64
and you don't know how
to start a conversation
00:55:48.71\00:55:51.28
and the mind just goes blank...
00:55:51.31\00:55:53.58
maybe inside, we
even start sweating.
00:55:53.62\00:55:56.28
Well, the truth is,
all of us have been there
00:55:56.32\00:55:59.25
in those awkward moments
00:55:59.29\00:56:00.62
and I want to share a
little trick with you...
00:56:00.66\00:56:02.86
it's not really a trick,
00:56:02.89\00:56:04.63
it's more an
important principle.
00:56:04.66\00:56:06.86
There's something called, "FORT"
00:56:06.90\00:56:09.06
F O R T...
00:56:09.10\00:56:10.93
it's an acronym
00:56:10.97\00:56:12.53
and each of those letters
00:56:12.57\00:56:14.20
stands for something that you
can talk about with a person.
00:56:14.24\00:56:17.64
Now, I didn't make this
up, it's been around for years
00:56:17.67\00:56:20.98
but I can tell
you... I use it all the time
00:56:21.01\00:56:23.85
and it works and
it's helped me a lot.
00:56:23.88\00:56:26.21
So, I'd like to
share it with you.
00:56:26.25\00:56:28.52
F stands for Family...
00:56:28.55\00:56:31.12
O stands for Occupation...
00:56:31.15\00:56:33.76
R stands for Recreation...
00:56:33.79\00:56:36.52
and T stands for Testimony.
00:56:36.56\00:56:39.26
So, let me share with
you how this would work.
00:56:39.29\00:56:42.16
Let's start with
"F" that is the Family.
00:56:42.20\00:56:44.87
When you're
wanting to know someone,
00:56:44.90\00:56:47.47
most people love to
talk about their family.
00:56:47.50\00:56:52.07
It's an important
part of their life.
00:56:52.11\00:56:54.41
So, you might
begin by asking a person,
00:56:54.44\00:56:56.64
"Well Joe, tell me a
little bit about your family. "
00:56:56.68\00:56:59.65
You may ask, "Well, how
long have you been married?"
00:56:59.68\00:57:02.62
"How did you
and your wife meet?"
00:57:02.65\00:57:04.99
Because there's always
a story involved in that
00:57:05.02\00:57:07.72
and a lot of people
are willing to share it.
00:57:07.76\00:57:10.43
I mean, if you
were to sit down with me
00:57:10.49\00:57:12.43
and ask me how I met my wife,
00:57:12.46\00:57:14.80
I would have a whole entire
story to be able to tell you.
00:57:14.83\00:57:18.97
Now, if this is an older person,
00:57:19.00\00:57:21.20
you might ask them about
their kids or their grandkids.
00:57:21.24\00:57:24.51
You just call up my mother,
00:57:24.54\00:57:26.17
ask her about
her granddaughters...
00:57:26.21\00:57:28.01
she'll be
willing to talk to you.
00:57:28.04\00:57:29.81
You may even ask,
00:57:29.84\00:57:31.21
"Well, how long have
you lived in this area?"
00:57:31.25\00:57:33.42
The purpose of
these questions is...
00:57:33.45\00:57:35.62
just to get
conversation started.
00:57:35.65\00:57:37.59
Now, you're not going to do this
00:57:37.62\00:57:39.49
like you're interrogating them,
like an FBI Agent or something,
00:57:39.52\00:57:43.19
these are just questions just
to get the conversation started
00:57:43.22\00:57:46.86
so you can relax a little bit
00:57:46.90\00:57:48.70
and the
conversation will start to flow
00:57:48.73\00:57:51.23
a little easier.
00:57:51.27\00:57:52.67
Hi, this is David Klinedinst.
00:57:52.73\00:57:55.47
I hope you've been blessed
by the presentation today.
00:57:55.50\00:57:58.77
If you would like more
information about our ministry,
00:57:58.81\00:58:02.04
or about our other
Seminars and presentations,
00:58:02.08\00:58:06.31
visit our websites
at: DAVIDKLINEDINST.ORG
00:58:06.35\00:58:10.59
or: DISCOVERBIBLEPROPHECY.ORG
00:58:10.62\00:58:13.49
If you'd like to make a donation
00:58:13.52\00:58:15.79
to keep these
sermons on the air,
00:58:15.82\00:58:17.99
you can contact us at:
Discover Prophecy Ministries
00:58:18.06\00:58:21.86
PO Box 850
Columbia, Maryland 21044
00:58:21.93\00:58:27.67
or call toll
free at 855-774-HOPE
00:58:27.70\00:58:33.44