Welcome again to
Digital Disconnect.
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I am your host Scott Ritsema.
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And here we are now
in program number 2:
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The Heart of the Children.
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That's the thing I hear
the most when I travel around
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and speak at
churches, when I meet strangers
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and they ask what do I do:
"Well I speak on the dangers
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and effects of media.
" "Oh, my grandkids! "
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"Oh, the kids! " So
we're going to talk about
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the family, the hearts of
the children. Before we begin
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I didn't do much
introduction of myself.
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I come from Michigan.
My wife and three children
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want to say hello to you,
and my wife says "thank you"
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that you're not
requiring her to be on camera
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and be a speaker
with Scott Ritsema.
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Cami Ritsema, my beloved
wife, does a fantastic job
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at a higher calling
than a speaker does. But
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they want to say hello,
and I have had an experience
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of going around for
the past decade or so
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doing seminars on media.
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And the seminar was
called Media on the Brain.
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And it's such a joy to be
able to adapt some of that
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content here for
the 3ABN audience.
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It's an honor really to
be able to be here with you.
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Recently the issues of
media have not been getting
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less and less... they've
been growing more and more.
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In fact, frankly when I
started speaking on media
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my hope was that this
could be a short-lived thing
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and it's getting so out
of control in the 20-teens.
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Maybe people will
have the wake-up call
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and we won't need to do
the Media on the Brain seminar.
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Well, things only seem to
be getting worse and worse
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as the years go on
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as we saw the statistics
in the opening session.
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So the second
seminar called The Media Mind
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was produced
just a few years ago
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to amplify the
call and the invitation
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to "Come apart and be
separate saith the Lord.
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Touch no unclean thing. "
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So people often say you know
when they have an opportunity
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to share with people:
"You can find me on Twitter
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at such and such. " Or
"You can find me on FaceBook. "
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And I"ll tell you, I'm not
big on social media myself.
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I have a FaceBook
account. We'll talk about that.
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How can we do these
things in a balanced way?
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But the best way to
find me is at beltoftruth.tv
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And so you may look
things up on social media
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and try to get ahold of me
there but that's a challenge
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to say the least because I don't
man those accounts very well.
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But I do love to
be out in nature.
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We're going to talk a little bit
about nature in this session.
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We're going to talk about
the design for a Godly family.
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And I'm in the
trenches with that right now.
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Not because I'm an
expert. You know, every parent
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realizes their own flaws
and failings and shortcomings.
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But coming from that perspec-
tive, the Hearts of the Children
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session is
deeply important to me.
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And so when I think
about the opening slide here
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and then we will
begin with prayer
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this broke my
heart when I saw the
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the fact that a baby, a BABY,
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was left while mom and dad
were playing their video games.
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This was in So. Korea. They
made a documentary about this.
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This was absolutely horrific.
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Mom and dad were
playing their video games
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getting immersed in
that. The baby is left
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crying, going 12 hours
sometimes without being fed.
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The baby died, and it
was an international story
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that "How have we
gotten to this point? "
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So I want to get into
this session by just reminding
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ourselves that we're not
looking at just what not to do:
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excessive media, worldly media.
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It's "What does God
want us to do instead? "
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How can we re-discover
how to be human again
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in our labor, in our study,
in our creative enterprises,
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in business, in
ministry outlets,
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service to others,
in music, in the arts?
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In reading and
writing, physical books.
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Cooking, baking, gardening...
I mean the list is endless
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in terms of the
beauty and captivating nature
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of the reality God
designed for us to live within.
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That is what we are seeking
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in the Digital
Disconnect series of programs.
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So let's being
with prayer, shall we?
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Father in heaven,
we thank you so much
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that we can come before You
and ask Your blessing upon this
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session. We pray
that this information
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would come to us at the
heart level and we would be
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led according to Your path.
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In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
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There's a study that
was done some time ago
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and it found that parents
with small children in the home
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the little children on
their devices, the parents doing
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their thing. And they
found in this focused study
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on these families in their homes
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that the majority of parents,
you know how much interaction
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they had with their children
while their children were on
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their devices?
Zero... none at all.
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That's not like a
little less than we should.
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We're all guilty of that.
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It's not like half the
time; it's not barely any.
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It's flat out zero.
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The media mind has
become alone and disconnected.
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The mind of
Christ, though: connected.
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The digital disconnect can re-
connect us with our loved ones.
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Children actually spend
today twice as much time
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on their Smartphones as
talking to their parents.
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And likewise it
goes the other way.
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Parents spend twice as much
time just watching Netflix alone
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than all quality time
with their children combined.
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Can you believe that?
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We also are dealing with a
time when the average child
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will now watch more television
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or on a computer,
an iPad, whatever,
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by the age of 6 than
all conversation with
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its father in its entire life.
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I don't know what to
say at that point other than
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an epic tragedy of
apocalyptic proportions.
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But it's interesting
that the big tech executives
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seem to do things a
little bit differently.
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Have you ever heard the
names Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?
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They were interviewed...
Jobs before his death
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and Bill Gates when he
had teenagers in the home...
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and they asked
about these men's homes
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and how they do media.
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And interestingly
they both made a comment
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about a specific time of the day
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that is media free and the
whole family comes together.
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Now these are secular people
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and this is the
world's standard:
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they insisted on
mealtime together.
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Isn't that pretty
basic? We can start there
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and we can go way
beyond that as well.
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But if they can get that
- and this is the graphic
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that you want to see at
the restaurant down the road -
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Yeah, the good old days when
we used to look at each other.
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In the eye... not like
Zoom where we're kind of making
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eye contact but not quite.
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Talk to each
other; pretend it's 1995.
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Well they actually did a study
on people who go on a romantic
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date with their
significant other.
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And they wanted to see
how many times a device
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interrupts the date. I
mean, you're spending the money;
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you're going out to have
a good time with your wife.
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And they found in surveys that
the majority of romantic dates
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are interrupted by the device
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and somebody feels snubbed...
or they have a name for that:
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it's called being "phubbed"
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being snubbed by your phone.
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And they said that
there's more technoference
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in such relationships, and
technoference is correlated with
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lower relationship satisfaction.
Probably no surprise
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there, and it carries
on into the home as well...
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not just on the dates.
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Parents, children:
you're on your devices.
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University of
Michigan study looked at
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how does the social dynamic
become affected by that context
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of people being distracted or
people being in different places
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or people having their devices
right in the same place as you.
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And they found
"tension" was their word
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increased markedly
when the presence of devices
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came into the communal
social context in the home.
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That probably
doesn't surprise us either
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'cause God has a
better plan. You see
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God always has the answer
to all of our media issues.
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When you think about
what it says in Deuteronomy 6
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you know, it's the foundational
text: "Love the Lord your God
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with all your
heart, with all your soul,
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with all your mind,
with all your strength.
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Love your
neighbor as yourself. "
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Jesus added the second one:
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"Love your
neighbor as yourself. "
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And now when I see the rest
of the text in Deuteronomy 6
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when you read into that it says:
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"Parents, talk about the
Word of God with your children
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as you rise up and lie down. "
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There's morning
and evening worship.
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"As you walk by the way,
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as you sit in your
house... " Maybe at mealtime
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like Psalm 128
that says: "The children
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will rise up like olive
plants round about our table. "
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So God has a plan
to restore the family.
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Well today less
than 1 in 15 families
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are actually interacting
at least half the time
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when they're in
the home together.
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And even more tragically
we're not talking about
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the Word of God as
we rise up and lie down,
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as we walk by the way,
as we sit in our house.
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Less than 1 in 10 "born
again Christian" families
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ever opens the Word of God
together during a given week
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according to Barna
Research... less than 1 in 10.
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So 90% of families just
aren't doing anything spiritual
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together. So God DOES HAVE
the answer to this as always
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though. In Psalm 128:3
the children at the table
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like olive plants. And
also if you think about
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the studies that
have been done on this
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children develop their spiritual
and emotional intelligence
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through facial
contact, human contact,
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parental love and
voice from babyhood.
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And Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair
has actually studied this
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in great depth
and has interviewed
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childcare professionals,
pre-school teachers.
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And one thing she
has found is to a person
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these early child development
on-the-ground practitioners
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are saying: "Well
the children these days
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as opposed to
just 10, 15 years ago
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aren't making eye
contact like they used to.
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They're not having con-
versations like they used to. "
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In fact, I was actually
talking to a daycare provider
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who did daycare for
50 years. Now this lady
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had been on this
for half a century, OK?
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so she'd seen
generations of kids come up.
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And I asked her: "What
the #1 thing that has changed
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this generation versus
previous generations? "
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And she said: "Oh, by
far it's the language,
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conversation, eye contact,
and emotional expression. "
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Researchers call that
emotional intelligence.
00:10:47.28\00:10:50.28
Or we can talk
about it as sociability.
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We can talk about it as love.
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That's how the
Bible refers to it.
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Concern and care for others.
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And the children are struggling
with this in a major major
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magnitude. But the world
has its own "solutions. "
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I was really shocked by this
graphic that you'll see here.
00:11:06.96\00:11:09.66
Robots... they
call them social robots.
00:11:16.10\00:11:19.34
Now I never
thought I'd see the day
00:11:19.54\00:11:21.01
when you would have as
the solution to a lack of
00:11:21.21\00:11:25.05
empathy and love
artificial intelligence.
00:11:25.25\00:11:28.18
It's artificial.
They're going to teach children
00:11:28.38\00:11:30.12
emotional intelligence
and how to interact socially.
00:11:30.32\00:11:33.66
That's barking up the
wrong tree to say the least.
00:11:33.86\00:11:36.73
But you've seen already
the devil has an assault
00:11:37.13\00:11:40.10
and attack on the children,
on the home, on the family unit.
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That comes as no
surprise to anybody.
00:11:44.20\00:11:45.97
But did you know Biblically
this was foreshadowed?
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What were the 3 biggest events
in the history of redemption?
00:11:48.97\00:11:52.74
Now you're going way back
to the Garden of Eden, OK?
00:11:52.94\00:11:55.31
The three biggest
events after the fall
00:11:55.51\00:11:57.78
in the history of redemption.
Now some people might say:
00:11:57.98\00:12:01.72
"Well I think
that must be the flood.
00:12:01.92\00:12:03.72
That's one of them. " Well,
we're going to rule that one out
00:12:03.92\00:12:05.69
'cause that was
cleansing the earth.
00:12:05.89\00:12:08.06
I'm looking for redemptive...
like the three biggest
00:12:08.26\00:12:11.06
moments of redemption.
00:12:11.26\00:12:13.19
God taking His
people out of Egypt.
00:12:13.40\00:12:16.13
Bringing them to Mt.
Sinai and delivering the law -
00:12:16.33\00:12:19.40
the Ten Commandments - and
taking His people into Canaan
00:12:19.60\00:12:22.50
to start the nation of Israel
to be a kingdom of priests
00:12:22.70\00:12:26.11
unto the Most High God.
00:12:26.31\00:12:27.71
The second one?
Jesus' first coming.
00:12:27.91\00:12:30.35
Everybody knew that
when I asked the question.
00:12:30.55\00:12:32.81
Jesus coming to this
earth being incarnated
00:12:33.21\00:12:36.62
as a baby, living a perfect life
00:12:36.82\00:12:39.59
showing infinite and
eternal types of love
00:12:39.79\00:12:43.83
in ministry to
the lost and hurting.
00:12:44.03\00:12:46.39
Dying on the cross for our sins.
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You can't get more
redemptive than that.
00:12:49.70\00:12:51.53
And raising from the dead
and ascending into heaven.
00:12:51.93\00:12:54.60
We're going to call
all of that one event, OK?
00:12:54.80\00:12:57.11
First event: the
taking of Israel out of Egypt.
00:12:57.31\00:13:00.98
The second event being
the first coming of Christ.
00:13:01.18\00:13:04.78
The third you could
say is the last days
00:13:04.98\00:13:08.05
and the second coming of Christ.
00:13:08.25\00:13:10.09
We'll loop that into one event.
00:13:10.29\00:13:12.35
What do all three of
these events have in common?
00:13:13.12\00:13:15.32
Well, there was
always Biblically and now
00:13:15.72\00:13:19.53
both God using the
children in His redemptive work
00:13:19.73\00:13:24.33
and Satan seeking to
assault the children.
00:13:24.53\00:13:27.14
What did Pharaoh do
there back in Egypt?
00:13:27.34\00:13:29.57
It was throw the
babies in the Nile.
00:13:29.97\00:13:32.07
At Jesus' first coming
it was kill all the babies
00:13:33.07\00:13:36.44
in and around Bethlehem...
Herod's wicked edict.
00:13:36.64\00:13:40.95
Today you could say
there is a similar assault
00:13:41.15\00:13:43.42
on the lives of unborn children.
00:13:43.62\00:13:45.92
But even beyond that: "Fear
not he who can kill the body
00:13:46.32\00:13:49.56
but not the soul but He who
can destroy both soul and body
00:13:49.76\00:13:52.56
in hell. " Soul is
even more important.
00:13:52.76\00:13:55.53
Satan's after the souls of
the children in these last days.
00:13:55.73\00:13:58.00
Why? Because God
wants to use the children.
00:13:58.20\00:14:01.00
God wants to use the
children in a powerful way
00:14:01.20\00:14:03.34
to finish the work.
Didn't He use Miriam back there
00:14:03.54\00:14:05.87
in the time of Egypt
when Moses was a baby
00:14:06.07\00:14:08.38
and going to
lead his people out?
00:14:08.58\00:14:10.15
Didn't God use the
children and Jesus' first coming
00:14:10.55\00:14:12.61
to shout "Hosanna! " and
proclaim that the Messiah
00:14:12.81\00:14:15.78
had come? The
children of these last days
00:14:15.98\00:14:18.32
can finish the work.
And this is not some novel
00:14:18.52\00:14:22.29
and new thing. During
the Protestant Reformation
00:14:22.49\00:14:24.73
children were
endued by the Spirit of God
00:14:24.93\00:14:27.30
and proclaimed miraculously
the truth for that time.
00:14:27.50\00:14:31.27
And the same thing during the
great second advent awakening
00:14:31.47\00:14:34.20
of the 19th century.
00:14:34.40\00:14:36.30
And so Satan is trying
to short circuit God's plan
00:14:36.50\00:14:40.51
to use children and to
develop children to grow
00:14:40.71\00:14:43.21
into youth and an army of
youth that can finish the work:
00:14:43.41\00:14:46.21
the gospel work
in these last days.
00:14:46.41\00:14:48.72
And it starts with things
like having meals together.
00:14:48.92\00:14:52.19
I mean that was big picture
stuff we were just talking about
00:14:52.39\00:14:55.36
but just doing life in
our homes on a daily basis
00:14:55.56\00:14:58.73
in a godly way according to
the Biblical standard and model
00:14:58.93\00:15:02.30
is how we're going to develop
children who have that love
00:15:02.50\00:15:05.40
for souls. We were
talking about love and empathy
00:15:05.60\00:15:08.20
and emotional intelligence
and all of those things.
00:15:08.40\00:15:10.51
You might say: "Well, the
kids of this generation are
00:15:10.71\00:15:12.87
ruined! The media has
totally ruined them! "
00:15:13.07\00:15:15.14
God has the answer to this.
00:15:15.54\00:15:16.98
In fact they've studied
getting kids out of their media,
00:15:17.18\00:15:20.48
take them out in nature,
00:15:20.68\00:15:22.02
have them do
team-building exercises.
00:15:22.05\00:15:24.15
Have them be
engaging in hiking and archery
00:15:24.35\00:15:28.22
and all sorts of
fun camp stuff, right?
00:15:28.42\00:15:30.43
They took the kids out of LA
for a 5-day nature excursion.
00:15:30.63\00:15:34.36
"You get to leave school but
you've gotta leave your media
00:15:34.56\00:15:36.83
behind. Oh, boy!
" But they loved it.
00:15:37.03\00:15:39.47
And these kids on
emotional intelligence scores
00:15:39.87\00:15:43.47
in just 5 days had improved
their emotional intelligence.
00:15:43.67\00:15:47.61
That means they're
starting to come alive!
00:15:47.81\00:15:49.54
They're starting to
be more interpersonal
00:15:49.74\00:15:52.11
and those things kids are
struggling with so much now
00:15:52.31\00:15:54.68
were being
resolved in just 5 days.
00:15:54.88\00:15:56.99
Isn't that a beautiful thing?
God always has the answers
00:15:57.19\00:15:59.35
to these problems that we face.
00:15:59.55\00:16:01.12
But the problems go
beyond those young kids.
00:16:01.52\00:16:03.66
These were
pre-teens that they took out.
00:16:03.86\00:16:05.53
When you look at teenage kids
00:16:05.73\00:16:08.06
you look at the
researcher Jean Twenge.
00:16:08.26\00:16:10.23
There's a graphic of
some quotations from her book
00:16:10.43\00:16:12.87
Igen. And she's the
San Diego State University
00:16:13.07\00:16:16.24
researcher who looked at
this generation's media use
00:16:16.44\00:16:20.04
and how it's impacting them.
00:16:20.24\00:16:21.58
And she says: "These teens are:
00:16:21.78\00:16:23.11
And this is not some
gradual change over time.
00:16:32.65\00:16:35.36
This is something she
had said around 2011ish
00:16:35.56\00:16:38.86
like when Smartphones
were becoming ubiquitous
00:16:39.06\00:16:41.23
and social media was
becoming the big thing
00:16:41.43\00:16:43.33
and everybody's
living online now.
00:16:43.53\00:16:45.07
That was the time when the
charts & graphs skyrocketed
00:16:45.27\00:16:47.84
this way and this way
and massive changes happened
00:16:48.04\00:16:51.07
in "teenagehood...
" not GOOD changes.
00:16:51.27\00:16:53.44
You heard there: "totally
unprepared for adulthood. "
00:16:53.64\00:16:56.38
Arrested development.
We could say the media mind
00:16:56.58\00:16:59.21
is in a state of
arrested development.
00:16:59.41\00:17:02.75
But God's
program and plan for us -
00:17:02.95\00:17:05.29
the mind of Christ - we
are all developing properly.
00:17:05.49\00:17:08.52
Children and youth according
to the schedule of development,
00:17:08.72\00:17:11.29
and we are all
developing, aren't we?
00:17:11.49\00:17:14.23
Transformed by the
renewing of our minds
00:17:14.43\00:17:16.00
even if we're full grown.
00:17:16.20\00:17:17.73
But the struggles of
practical living begin early
00:17:17.93\00:17:21.47
in the media age.
There's a graphic of
00:17:21.67\00:17:24.17
The Telegraph
newspaper which says:
00:17:24.37\00:17:26.98
That was a survey that was done
in the UK where 2/3 of teachers
00:17:31.48\00:17:36.25
said that they were concerned
00:17:36.45\00:17:37.99
about the lack of self-help
skills that the children have.
00:17:38.19\00:17:41.12
"Five-year-olds
know how to swipe a phone
00:17:41.32\00:17:43.79
but don't have a
clue about conversations"
00:17:43.99\00:17:46.03
said these teachers.
00:17:46.23\00:17:47.56
Others have pointed out
that more kindergartners
00:17:47.60\00:17:50.27
know how to use a Smartphone
app than to tie their shoelaces!
00:17:50.47\00:17:53.87
And there are other headlines
from prominent news outlets
00:17:54.07\00:17:57.04
saying: "Children
learning to tie shoelaces
00:17:57.24\00:17:59.51
later than ever before. "
00:17:59.71\00:18:01.04
Kids use so much tech
they can't hold pencils
00:18:01.08\00:18:03.55
like they once could.
Study says kids understand
00:18:03.75\00:18:06.72
Smartphones
better than real life.
00:18:06.92\00:18:08.98
I mean the headlines
are shouting these things
00:18:09.18\00:18:11.12
about the struggle with children
just on a practical level...
00:18:11.32\00:18:14.39
children's practical abilities.
00:18:14.59\00:18:16.73
And it's not just
the fine motor skills.
00:18:17.13\00:18:18.99
I know holding a pencil
is hard for a little kid.
00:18:19.19\00:18:21.10
I know getting down
and tying your shoelaces:
00:18:21.30\00:18:23.26
that's hard for a little kid.
00:18:23.47\00:18:24.93
But it's even
gross motor skills.
00:18:25.13\00:18:26.94
It's the jumping
and playing and running
00:18:27.14\00:18:29.54
and the core muscles
are weaker among children.
00:18:29.74\00:18:32.91
And you're like: "Well that's
strange. What is going on? "
00:18:33.11\00:18:35.24
Why are playground injuries
increased right now versus
00:18:35.44\00:18:39.75
a generation ago when
the playground equipment is
00:18:39.95\00:18:42.12
way safer? I mean you remember
the playground equipment?
00:18:42.32\00:18:44.65
Look at this graphic. The
old- style playground equipment
00:18:44.85\00:18:48.52
safety wasn't a first at
that time. Fun was first.
00:18:48.72\00:18:52.03
And now safety is first.
Why are playground injuries
00:18:52.43\00:18:55.10
increasing? Well, it's
simply kids aren't playing
00:18:55.30\00:18:58.83
enough and they're not
learning their boundaries.
00:18:59.03\00:19:01.20
They're not
learning how to play safely
00:19:01.40\00:19:03.24
'cause they're not
playing enough. So injuries
00:19:03.44\00:19:04.77
actually increase
even though the equipment
00:19:04.94\00:19:06.84
has become more safe.
00:19:07.04\00:19:08.38
Others have talked
about the lack of good quality
00:19:08.71\00:19:12.41
candidates for
surgical students.
00:19:12.61\00:19:15.58
That's a UK Guardian
headline graphic there:
00:19:15.78\00:19:19.49
I spoke with an auto
mechanics teacher in 2019,
00:19:24.79\00:19:28.60
a number of years
ago and I asked him:
00:19:28.80\00:19:30.67
"OK, tell me about how are
the young people doing with
00:19:30.87\00:19:34.30
their auto mechanics skills? "
00:19:34.50\00:19:36.54
Here they are in high school;
they're learning auto mechanic
00:19:36.74\00:19:38.67
skills. And he said:
"Scott, it's quite sobering.
00:19:38.87\00:19:42.51
You wouldn't believe it.
00:19:42.71\00:19:44.18
I used to get the majority
of my students proficient.
00:19:44.38\00:19:46.65
Now I'm happy if I
can get 15% of them
00:19:46.85\00:19:50.65
up to par where they ought to
be after a semester with me. "
00:19:50.85\00:19:53.89
A drastic change
in one generation.
00:19:54.09\00:19:56.59
And I'm not saying that
to judge or look down on...
00:19:56.79\00:19:59.39
And Jean Twenge isn't
trying to be rude when she says
00:19:59.59\00:20:01.66
"the young people today are
not prepared for adulthood. "
00:20:01.86\00:20:04.03
And "they are doing at 18
what they used to do at 15"
00:20:04.23\00:20:06.80
and so on. It's a cry for help
00:20:07.00\00:20:10.74
that we need to be helping
these young people develop.
00:20:10.94\00:20:13.91
But you might say:
"Aren't they learning things?
00:20:14.11\00:20:16.48
Playing video games you're
learning a lot of skills. "
00:20:16.68\00:20:18.81
Um... on the graphic
you'll see a researcher
00:20:19.01\00:20:22.25
named Maggie Jackson who
came out with this statement:
00:20:22.45\00:20:25.59
So that's what we're
learning primarily through
00:20:33.13\00:20:36.30
video game play. And the
even more important issue
00:20:36.50\00:20:38.93
is what we're not
learning, what we're not doing
00:20:39.13\00:20:40.97
when we're playing video games:
00:20:41.17\00:20:42.70
so many wonderful and
productive and uplifting things
00:20:42.90\00:20:45.04
that could bring so
much richness to our lives.
00:20:45.24\00:20:47.84
When you look at video
games just the factor of
00:20:48.04\00:20:50.35
addiction coming in.
00:20:50.55\00:20:51.88
Young adults... not
just children and youth
00:20:51.91\00:20:53.58
but young adults
checking into rehab
00:20:53.78\00:20:57.12
for video game addiction
00:20:57.32\00:20:59.72
which I discuss in
Media on the Brain.
00:20:59.92\00:21:02.06
It's in episode #5, disc
#5 of Media on the Brain.
00:21:02.26\00:21:06.03
It's called The Demise of Guys.
00:21:06.23\00:21:08.70
You can watch
that at beltoftruth.tv
00:21:08.90\00:21:10.50
I don't have time to get into it
all at this particular moment.
00:21:10.70\00:21:13.30
In the Hearts of the Children,
but even our young adults
00:21:13.50\00:21:16.20
arrested development...
still in that child-like state
00:21:16.40\00:21:20.08
in many ways. You could
say the media mind is lacking
00:21:20.28\00:21:23.18
practical skills but the
mind of Christ is well rounded.
00:21:23.38\00:21:27.22
Now I want to share
with you some other things
00:21:27.42\00:21:28.75
Jean Twenge points out
in her book. You'll see
00:21:28.88\00:21:31.72
that there's a bullet-
pointed list on the graphic
00:21:31.92\00:21:34.06
that we'll go through.
00:21:34.26\00:21:35.59
In fact, a quarter of
them still don't have their
00:21:53.38\00:21:55.48
driver's licenses when they
are graduating from high school.
00:21:55.68\00:21:58.58
So this is a dramatic
change versus a generation ago.
00:21:58.78\00:22:01.45
And we start young on
putting them in this position
00:22:01.65\00:22:04.05
of arrested development.
We start with our babies.
00:22:04.25\00:22:06.79
We do what's called... Oh
boy! As soon as they have a name
00:22:06.99\00:22:08.99
for it I feel super
convicted. They call this
00:22:09.19\00:22:11.53
continuous partial attention.
00:22:11.73\00:22:14.50
So you're paying attention
to your children continuously
00:22:14.70\00:22:17.27
but only partly. So
you're on your device;
00:22:17.47\00:22:19.77
you're doing your thing
and the baby's over here.
00:22:19.97\00:22:21.50
Personal story... shame on me.
00:22:21.70\00:22:23.74
My baby girl is crawling.
First thing in the morning
00:22:23.94\00:22:26.71
she's out. I'm out...
I'm checking the weather.
00:22:26.91\00:22:28.41
She's crawling toward
the cabinets where the dishes
00:22:28.81\00:22:32.31
and stuff are in the kitchen.
00:22:32.51\00:22:33.85
And I'm like: "OK, I'll
go see her in a minute. "
00:22:33.88\00:22:36.38
Well I look up and I
see she's crawling toward
00:22:36.58\00:22:39.65
mousetraps that my wife
had laid the night before.
00:22:39.85\00:22:42.72
And I throw my phone down
and I quick run and grab her
00:22:42.92\00:22:44.89
and pick her up.
But she was that close
00:22:45.09\00:22:46.90
because of my negligence...
00:22:47.10\00:22:48.46
because of
continuous partial attention
00:22:48.66\00:22:51.20
that I pay to my
children in my weaker moments.
00:22:51.40\00:22:53.94
Lord forgive me.
00:22:54.14\00:22:55.47
We all want to
overcome these things, don't we?
00:22:55.50\00:22:57.07
You know they have
another name for it:
00:22:57.27\00:22:59.51
they say when
parents are on their devices
00:22:59.71\00:23:01.64
even if you're going
media-free with the kids
00:23:01.84\00:23:03.61
it's second-hand screen time.
00:23:04.11\00:23:06.65
The children are
actually affected prefrontally
00:23:06.85\00:23:09.55
in a negative way when
they're not doing any media
00:23:09.75\00:23:12.92
but the parents are doing
the media in their presence.
00:23:13.12\00:23:15.22
It's like second-hand smoke.
00:23:15.42\00:23:16.76
Second hand screen time.
00:23:16.99\00:23:18.56
It's basically what
they're not getting from you:
00:23:18.76\00:23:21.03
the attention, the
interest, the love.
00:23:21.23\00:23:23.63
Research has shown
that when children are
00:23:23.83\00:23:27.50
pleading for attention,
they're bidding for attention
00:23:27.70\00:23:29.94
and they don't get it, the
amygdala in the brain fires off
00:23:30.14\00:23:33.54
like a fear and anxiety circuit.
00:23:33.74\00:23:35.74
And that's enhancing the
limbic system of their brain
00:23:35.94\00:23:38.31
maldeveloping it
in an imbalanced way.
00:23:38.51\00:23:41.18
And even in fact, dogs they say
00:23:41.38\00:23:43.62
can suffer with us
being on our devices so much
00:23:43.82\00:23:46.65
in terms of the happiness that
a little doggie has in the home.
00:23:47.06\00:23:50.63
So when I was confronted
with these things myself
00:23:50.83\00:23:53.36
you remember the bullet-pointed
list of all the questions
00:23:53.56\00:23:55.96
that we have that we're asking
ourselves in these programs
00:23:56.16\00:23:59.63
one of the questions is:
00:24:00.04\00:24:01.44
Are they with us all the time
00:24:05.77\00:24:08.24
24/7, everywhere we
go with our children,
00:24:08.44\00:24:11.31
with our loved ones?
00:24:11.51\00:24:12.85
Or maybe did you see the
image of the old telephone
00:24:12.91\00:24:15.58
with the hook to the
phone that was off the hook?
00:24:15.78\00:24:18.15
Made that terrible noise
but you'd want to put the phone
00:24:18.35\00:24:20.29
on the hook. If there's children
watching this, by the way,
00:24:20.49\00:24:22.99
that thing was
called a telephone.
00:24:23.19\00:24:25.36
Not tell-a-phone.
It's one word: telephone.
00:24:25.56\00:24:30.97
I know you probably
have never heard of one
00:24:31.17\00:24:32.93
but you used to
pick it up and dial.
00:24:33.34\00:24:35.74
And when you dial if somebody
had a lot of 9's and 0's
00:24:35.94\00:24:38.71
in their number it would
take forever for you to call
00:24:38.91\00:24:41.14
your friend or
your auntie or whatever.
00:24:41.34\00:24:43.21
And the telephone was
always stationary, wasn't it?
00:24:43.61\00:24:47.28
It was literally
plugged into the wall
00:24:47.48\00:24:49.22
and couldn't be taken anywhere.
00:24:49.42\00:24:50.75
Maybe we need to bring back
the concept of having a hook.
00:24:50.85\00:24:53.39
My wife and I
did that for a time.
00:24:53.79\00:24:55.56
We said: "We've got to get
these things under control...
00:24:55.76\00:24:57.73
not always present with us with
the family, with the children. "
00:24:57.93\00:25:01.26
So we developed a
place in the house.
00:25:01.46\00:25:03.37
It was a charging station.
The phones just stay back there.
00:25:03.57\00:25:06.03
And when we need
to use it we use it
00:25:06.40\00:25:08.07
but it's not going to
be constantly interrupting
00:25:08.27\00:25:10.31
family time that way.
00:25:10.51\00:25:11.84
That's an idea to consider.
00:25:11.94\00:25:13.51
'Cause when you look at
screens & spiritual development
00:25:13.71\00:25:16.34
the number one way that
children develop spiritually
00:25:16.54\00:25:19.88
is through warm interaction
in the home, parent and child.
00:25:20.08\00:25:24.29
That's the number one factor
correlating to their accepting
00:25:24.45\00:25:27.79
the spiritual
values of the parents
00:25:27.99\00:25:29.99
is that the
spiritual values are taught,
00:25:30.19\00:25:32.19
the trues are taught in
an atmosphere or relational
00:25:32.39\00:25:35.30
connectedness and warmth.
00:25:35.50\00:25:36.83
Boy, doesn't that
bring prophecy to mind.
00:25:36.97\00:25:39.10
Didn't Jesus say in
Matthew 12 that in the last days
00:25:39.50\00:25:42.30
there would be a
division in the home?
00:25:42.50\00:25:44.21
That it would be 3
against 2 and 2 against 3
00:25:44.41\00:25:47.08
and a man's enemies would be
members of his own household.
00:25:47.28\00:25:49.64
Well, I have good news:
00:25:50.05\00:25:51.38
we can fulfill the
good prophecy in Malachi.
00:25:51.48\00:25:54.52
At the end of the Old Testament,
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the very last verse
of the Old Testament,
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the last chapter of
the Old Testament says
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that in the last days
the hearts of the children
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will be turned to the
hearts of the fathers.
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And there are bigger
spiritual implications there
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but in the home that has a
very real practical application
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that we can know that we are
connecting with our children.
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Now I want you to hear some
of the voices of the children.
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Colin, age 12, when
interviewed about this said:
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"There are definitely some
parts that make it seem like
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my parents are really
addicted to their phone
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and I feel like my dad is
with his computer, definitely.
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I mean, if he's like awake
at 1, he'll check on the dog
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and then he'll look at his com-
puter and be on it till like 5
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and think it was like 5
minutes and then the next day
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he's really
tired. " Angela, age 13:
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"What I wish my
parents understood is that
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technology
isn't the whole world.
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It's annoying because it's
like you also have a family.
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How about we just
spend some time together?
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And they're like: 'Wait, I
need to just check something
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on my phone. I need to call work
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and see what's going on. ' "
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Tyler, age 7, said:
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"My mom is almost
always on the iPad at dinner.
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She's always 'just checking. ' "
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Penny, age 7: "I
always keep on asking her
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'Let's play; let's play'
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and she's always
texting on her phone. "
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Owen, age 9: "Once my dad
was ignoring my mom so bad
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for like 30 minutes so
I sat on his keyboard. "
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Yeah, this is what happens when
we don't find God's solutions
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to these things.
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He says: "I got in trouble. "
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You know, maybe the
parents are in trouble.
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Am I in trouble with God
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when He wants to bring
forgiveness and restoration?
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Wait till you
hear what Anabelle says
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in the next program. God
will give you the victory.
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