My name is Yvonne Lewis,
and I'm the co-host for this
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program, and our
primary host is Ryan Mack,
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Financial Literacy
expert. Yeah, Ryan!
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Always good to be with you.
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Oh, it's great to be with you!
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These lessons on financial
literacy are just powerful
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Right, I mean this is a...
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We have a lot of things to
cover, and the bottom line is
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so many ways
that the Scripture is
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empowering our lives.
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And I just feel
very blessed to be here.
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Yeah, you know, I love the fact
that each program starts with a
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Scripture, because it
just reinforces the idea that
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Scripture is relevant.
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That we don't have
to think, Oh, you know,
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the Scriptures back in the day.
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No, Scripture is
relevant for today.
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And so we can really
find everything you need
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is right in the word.
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All you have to do is search.
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God has given us
everything we need.
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So we're going to start
today with the Scripture,
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and then Ryan's going
to take us into our lesson.
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We have the Scripture for the
day, again as a financial base,
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but Galatians 6:9,
because the theme of the day
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is Singles Struggles.
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And there are a lot of parents
out there who are raising their
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children by
themselves, men and women.
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I was raised by a single parent.
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You said you were a
single parent at one point.
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And, again, I don't have any
children, but I can't imagine
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how challenging it would be.
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So I found this Scripture
that I think that, hopefully,
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it resonates with
those individuals out there.
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And, hopefully, it
resonates with you out there.
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So this is Galatians 6:9.
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And, you know, I just
thought about my mother when I
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read that Scripture.
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And, you know, raising two kids
by herself, and the things that
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she had to go through.
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And, again, I would see
her sometimes make this sigh,
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sometimes when she'd get
home from work: that Ahhhh!
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You know? And then she
would go and make dinner.
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And at the time, I remember just
as clear as day, she had to be
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making maybe
$13,000 or $14,000 a year.
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And here she has
these two children that
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she has to provide for.
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And it doesn't stop.
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I mean, our stomachs
don't not get hungry.
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We have to eat, we have to,
we have clothes, and we have
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to have a roof over our heads.
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So the responsibility
is constant, even...
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I just couldn't imagine that.
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So, I mean, were
your experiences similar?
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Or how was it
being a single parent?
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I mean you have a different
perspective on it obviously.
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Yeah, for me when I was a single
parent I had already had a
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career, and so, and that career
had been pretty lucrative,
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so financially I was okay.
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I had different times
of having issues because
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I was self-employed.
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But you still have so
many responsibilities,
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and so many things.
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Because you're juggling.
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You're wearing all
these different hats.
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So you're Mom at home.
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You're a professional
person outside the home.
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And you have to make
sure that you... for me...
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I mean I grew up in kind of a
traditional home where the wife
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cooks, and, you know,
makes sure her children are fed.
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And so that's
what my Mom did for me,
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and she was a
professional woman.
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So I had to do that for my
children: make sure that they're
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fed, make sure that I help
them, and teach them lessons.
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And yet I had to wear that other
hat, too, because I'm the mother
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and the father in the home.
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Thankfully my boys
were close to their dads.
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But still I was mom in the home,
and I had to make sure of that.
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So you're wearing all these
different hats, and it is really
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not an easy thing.
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Well, I was close to my
father as well, but again,
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seeing him every other weekend
is a little bit different than
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constant and consistent.
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I remember my mother
would tell us stories about
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how she had to budget.
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And she would go, again
she didn't have a lot of money,
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so she would go over to the rich
part of town in Detroit, right?
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And she would look
at the Somerset Malls.
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And that's one of the fancy
malls in the suburbs of Detroit.
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And she would
window shop at these malls,
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but she couldn't
afford to buy anything.
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And then she would go back on
her side of town where we lived
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and she would go
to the thrift store.
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And the same thing she saw in
the window of the fancy stores
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she would buy in the thrift
store, or something close to it.
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Wow! So, you know, it might be a
3 or 400 dollar outfit that she
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would buy for 5 and 10
dollars at the thrift store.
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And I remember the
days of Wonder Bread Pizzas,
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and government
cheese, and tomato paste,
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and all those things,
and that was our pizza.
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And our movie night was watching
the black and white screen.
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And my brother and I would
rotate between who held the
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antenna, the wire
antenna in the television.
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And we would go to the dollar
movies, get the fifty cent
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popcorn, and then
bring the popcorn back home,
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and watch it on the
black and white television
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for movie nights. Wow!
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So I remember those days,
and I didn't really have a
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perspective of exactly
what she was going through,
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because we were always
happy, we always had food,
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we always had
clothes on our back,
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and a roof over top of our head.
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And one thing I
learned that my mother taught
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me was contentment.
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And I've said this before, but
I think it bears repeating, that
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contentment does not
mean I'm happy to be broke.
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Ha ha ha! Well, you
have to say that again.
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Contentment does not
mean I'm happy to be broke.
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Uh huh. Contentment means that
despite my state, I can smile.
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And I can smile not
because I'm happy with my state,
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but I'm happy in my state.
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What a great
differentiation here. It is.
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Because that saying, you know,
because Paul tells us to be
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content in
whatever situation we're in.
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But I love the distinction here,
because it's not being content
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with it, it's
being content in it.
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Meaning that you
can change that state.
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And she, and I learned a lot.
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My first financial
lessons came from my
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mother and that situation.
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She eventually got a
new job, and then she was
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dressed nice all of the time.
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So she moved up the ladder
of success, and she eventually
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became the first black female
Director of Admissions at any
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public university in Michigan.
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She bought her own home.
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And it was amazing
just seeing her do that.
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And in looking back on it I
started, I said, Wow! You know,
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what she really had
to do a lot of things.
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And again, my
father was there as well.
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But again, it's just to be that
single parent where you can't
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take a nap. That's right!
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And I mean, I can't imagine
not being able to take a nap.
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I just... So I think about that.
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I think about the many single
parents all across this country
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who are doing
such tremendous work.
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I have a good friend of mine,
Kenyetta Campbell, and she is
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actually running not one
but two non-profit organizations
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in the city of Detroit.
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And she's doing a great job!
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She has two children,
and she's very successful.
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She just won Organization
of the Year, and all the while
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being a single parent.
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And so there Chanel
Jackson, who just had a child,
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who is now eleven months
old, and she is very successful;
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used to be a State Rep.
and is also a single parent.
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I mean the list goes on and
on and on of people that I think
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are just doing amazing feats.
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They're doing heroes work, or
heroines work, and I think they
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need to be commended.
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And I just wanted to dedicate
this show to them and see if we
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can just provide some sort
of a guidance and tips about,
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that can give them a little
bit of light, to maybe give them
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a little bit of assistance.
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That's great! And there are
some dad's, too, who are raising
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their children without the mom.
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It's more prevalent to
be a single parent female,
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and raising children.
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But there are some dads
who are also raising children.
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And it, you know, when you're
doing it you often feel like
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this is a two parent thing.
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This should really
be a husband and a wife.
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But it doesn't work
out that way all the time.
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And so, you know, you
just do the best you can.
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Right. You know,
but God is there.
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And I know with me, with
my children, God was there
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and provided for us, and
made sure that I was working.
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And we had some hard
times, too, from time to time.
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But the Lord
was... He always provided.
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And that's one thing that, you
know, if you're going through
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something, a struggle, you can
always turn to God, and He will
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direct you as to what
to do; how to navigate
00:10:02.46\00:10:05.80
through that dark time.
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The Lord will show you that.
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And the Lord was in our
household every single second
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of us growing
up. I could feel Him.
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I can just thinking back on the
many experiences that we've had,
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and I think that planning,
that being able to have that
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attention, that love,
all of these things are found
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in the word of God. Uh hum.
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And, again, you can go to
a counselor, and many single
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parents do, and I have
many times advocate individuals
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going to the divorce attorneys.
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But this word is the greatest
counselor that we could have.
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And its... I just urge...
My mother still to this day she
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said she reads a Scripture
every single day. Uh hum.
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And she'll tell me
what she read for that day.
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And I think that gave her
that grounding, that foundation
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just to make it through.
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Absolutely! You have to
have, you have to be anchored
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to make it through.
00:11:03.66\00:11:05.06
Absolutely! So I have
a few tips. Okay, good.
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The first tip is creating a
road map for your life. Right?
00:11:08.50\00:11:13.10
And, again, this is
really all about the foundation.
00:11:13.13\00:11:15.90
That many newly single parents
who've just recently been
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divorced are really just
out there, and don't necessarily
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know the direction
that they're going to have.
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I think that there are
many divorce counselors who have
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said you have to have consistent
and non-negative communication
00:11:28.98\00:11:33.72
with the spouse, or
the previous spouse.
00:11:33.76\00:11:35.42
Making sure you're talking,
and making sure you're not
00:11:35.46\00:11:39.79
condemning the other individual
in front of the child.
00:11:39.83\00:11:44.20
And also making sure
that you have a post marriage
00:11:44.23\00:11:48.60
vision for your life.
00:11:48.64\00:11:49.97
What are? And many individuals
can be, and I've seen,
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I've done, and I'm a financial
adviser, but many individuals
00:11:53.54\00:11:57.65
who've come to me, they come
to me for financial concerns,
00:11:57.68\00:12:01.45
but sometimes they'll
think I'm actually a counselor,
00:12:01.48\00:12:03.79
a marriage counselor.
00:12:03.82\00:12:05.15
And I'm not! I'm not
a marriage counselor.
00:12:05.19\00:12:07.66
And I'll try to give the best
advice I can without violating
00:12:07.69\00:12:10.93
any laws, but I don't, I'm
not trying to delve into that.
00:12:10.96\00:12:15.33
But they end up saving, Hey
Ryan, I'm emotionally in a rut
00:12:15.40\00:12:19.90
right now, and I just don't
know what I'm supposed to do.
00:12:19.93\00:12:22.54
And I've seen men
and women do that.
00:12:22.60\00:12:24.21
You know, Ryan, you touched on
something that I think is really
00:12:24.27\00:12:27.54
important to kind of expand on.
00:12:27.58\00:12:30.61
And that is you have to have
a plan for how you are going to
00:12:30.65\00:12:34.92
communicate with that
spouse, with that other
00:12:34.95\00:12:37.82
parent post-divorce.
00:12:37.85\00:12:40.12
Because if you don't, if
you're running down that parent
00:12:40.16\00:12:43.83
to the children,
that's so negative.
00:12:43.89\00:12:47.03
That damages the children.
00:12:47.10\00:12:48.40
If you use the children as a
pawn that damages the children.
00:12:48.43\00:12:53.20
If you're using, you
know, putting them in between,
00:12:53.27\00:12:55.50
or dogging the
other parent, that is so,
00:12:55.57\00:13:00.68
it's so
unhealthy for the children.
00:13:00.78\00:13:03.21
The best thing to do is
to find a way to co-parent.
00:13:03.24\00:13:07.45
Because that way... The
children didn't ask to come
00:13:07.52\00:13:11.65
here, and they're here.
00:13:11.69\00:13:13.76
And so they have to be nurtured.
00:13:13.79\00:13:15.66
And so they have to be in an
environment that is nurturing.
00:13:15.69\00:13:18.46
So if you have baby mamma drama,
or the dad is a deadbeat dad,
00:13:18.49\00:13:25.07
or whatever, that's...
you guys have to work it out.
00:13:25.13\00:13:28.77
Yes, absolutely.
You have to work it out.
00:13:28.84\00:13:30.77
And your
point's very well taken.
00:13:30.81\00:13:33.44
Again, I've seen a lot of
individuals just kind of get
00:13:33.48\00:13:36.58
stuck, and many individuals
who are saying, you know,
00:13:36.61\00:13:39.71
they're not going to pursue,
for single parents out there,
00:13:39.75\00:13:44.42
they're not going
to pursue financial
00:13:44.45\00:13:45.79
support for their child.
00:13:45.82\00:13:47.16
And I think
that's a huge mistake.
00:13:47.22\00:13:49.79
It's a huge mistake because
it's not about the emotional
00:13:49.82\00:13:54.63
decision at this point.
00:13:54.66\00:13:56.00
It's about the logical
decision that your child
00:13:56.03\00:13:58.17
has clothes, has food.
00:13:58.20\00:14:00.37
And if you don't need a dime
of that money, and if you...
00:14:00.44\00:14:03.91
and all your bills and
everything is provided for,
00:14:03.94\00:14:06.57
then you can take that financial
support you're receiving
00:14:06.61\00:14:09.34
from that spouse and put
it into a 529 Savings Plan.
00:14:09.41\00:14:12.71
So there's always something
that you can do with that
00:14:12.75\00:14:16.02
additional support, whether it's
current needs, if those needs
00:14:16.05\00:14:19.45
are provided, and you
have everything under control.
00:14:19.49\00:14:21.29
Then good for you. But then
there are future needs that you
00:14:21.32\00:14:24.13
could be putting more money
into to make sure your child
00:14:24.16\00:14:27.00
has college expenses,
and all sorts of things.
00:14:27.03\00:14:29.56
I mean whatever it is, we
have to be logical, and be very
00:14:29.60\00:14:33.74
fiscally responsible as
we're planning for our children.
00:14:33.80\00:14:37.84
You know, again, that is
another really important point.
00:14:37.87\00:14:41.34
Because both of
you were responsible
00:14:41.38\00:14:45.08
for that child being here.
00:14:45.11\00:14:46.82
So why should one
parent bear the burden,
00:14:46.88\00:14:51.05
of the financial burden,
of doing all of the care for
00:14:51.09\00:14:55.76
that child, and the other
one just goes scot-free to have
00:14:55.79\00:15:00.26
another family somewhere?
00:15:00.33\00:15:01.63
No, that responsibility, if
the other parent is not showing
00:15:01.66\00:15:07.84
responsibility, then you have
to sometimes help that along,
00:15:07.87\00:15:12.21
I think. Exactly. And so, you
know, if you need to get some
00:15:12.24\00:15:17.08
assistance, legal
assistance, you get it.
00:15:17.15\00:15:19.88
And now I'll throw in another
touchy issue that relates to
00:15:19.91\00:15:23.89
a single parent, but
it also relates to high
00:15:23.92\00:15:26.49
incarceration rates in the U.S.
for black and white households.
00:15:26.52\00:15:30.73
I do a lot of
counseling in prisons.
00:15:30.76\00:15:33.63
And many individuals
in prisons don't like to
00:15:33.70\00:15:37.60
have a bank account.
00:15:37.63\00:15:40.24
And they'll tell you they don't
want to have a bank account
00:15:40.30\00:15:42.44
because it leads
to child support.
00:15:42.47\00:15:44.27
If they have to give their
Social Security number they'll
00:15:44.31\00:15:46.94
be able to locate how
much money they're having,
00:15:46.98\00:15:48.98
and they'll be
getting their wages garnered.
00:15:49.01\00:15:50.51
So what they'll do is they'll
try to stay outside of the
00:15:50.55\00:15:52.71
system in order to
avoid paying child support.
00:15:52.75\00:15:56.32
These are people
who are incarcerated?
00:15:56.35\00:15:58.12
Who are incarcerated,
and will soon to be released.
00:15:58.15\00:15:59.85
And when they're released,
and they're back into society,
00:15:59.89\00:16:02.82
they try to do
everything in the world to...
00:16:02.86\00:16:04.63
And this is a very
common problem that I've seen.
00:16:04.66\00:16:07.30
And if you talk to any warden,
or a correctional officer,
00:16:07.36\00:16:10.37
they'll say the same thing.
00:16:10.40\00:16:11.73
When people get out, there are
many individuals, if they have
00:16:11.77\00:16:14.27
children, don't
want to get on record.
00:16:14.30\00:16:18.34
And so henceforth they
will begin to use check cashing
00:16:18.37\00:16:22.68
facilities so they don't
have to get a checking account.
00:16:22.71\00:16:25.01
They'll get prepaid debit cards
so they don't have to register
00:16:25.05\00:16:28.68
with the... have their Social
Security number registered.
00:16:28.72\00:16:32.22
And all these things again are
contributing to this perpetual
00:16:32.25\00:16:35.69
underclass of society,
because that particular parent
00:16:35.76\00:16:39.03
didn't want to
pay for their child.
00:16:39.06\00:16:40.96
Now they're trying to
stay outside the system,
00:16:40.96\00:16:43.43
can they ever buy a home?
00:16:43.47\00:16:45.13
Can they ever start a
business and get a loan?
00:16:45.17\00:16:48.20
And all these things
that individuals in, I guess,
00:16:48.24\00:16:51.17
normal communities that are not
poverty stricken, or suffering
00:16:51.21\00:16:55.08
from financial
woes, they have access to.
00:16:55.11\00:16:59.41
And so what sometimes
individuals in underserved
00:16:59.45\00:17:02.28
communities would do
things outside of the realm of
00:17:02.32\00:17:05.99
responsibility that
keeps all of us down.
00:17:06.02\00:17:08.69
So these tips, again, I just
want to reiterate these are tips
00:17:08.72\00:17:12.93
that I want individuals to
use to face the responsibility
00:17:12.96\00:17:17.40
and obligation head on,
whether you're a single parent,
00:17:17.47\00:17:18.80
If you're... whether you're a
single parent, or if you are not
00:17:18.83\00:17:23.81
rearing a child directly,
you still should have some
00:17:23.84\00:17:26.78
responsibility of
raising that child. Absolutely.
00:17:26.81\00:17:29.28
So the next tip is controlling
spending and having fun.
00:17:29.31\00:17:34.82
A lot of times, again, we would
go, I remember one of the trips
00:17:34.85\00:17:39.72
that we had, because my mother
did budget, we went to Canada.
00:17:39.75\00:17:45.89
And there was an Indian
Reservation in Canada that
00:17:45.93\00:17:48.33
we just wanted to just go visit.
00:17:48.36\00:17:50.23
And the reason that we chose
that was because my brother and
00:17:50.27\00:17:53.90
I chose to go to this
Indian Reservation in Canada.
00:17:53.94\00:17:56.20
There's no reason for
that, no rhyme for that.
00:17:56.24\00:17:59.24
But the biggest reason for that,
from my mother's perspective,
00:17:59.27\00:18:01.94
was it was free, outside
of the little small cost that
00:18:01.98\00:18:04.78
goes across the border.
00:18:04.81\00:18:06.15
And so it was cost effective
for us to take that trip.
00:18:06.18\00:18:09.25
That was our trip, right?
00:18:09.28\00:18:10.82
And so we went up to
this Indian Reservation.
00:18:10.92\00:18:13.22
And we just saw a bunch of corn.
00:18:13.25\00:18:15.92
And didn't really see a lot.
00:18:15.96\00:18:17.29
We heard a strange
noise, and I got scared
00:18:17.36\00:18:18.99
and said, Let's go home.
00:18:19.03\00:18:20.36
But that was our trip. Uh huh.
00:18:20.43\00:18:23.30
That was our fiscally
responsible trip that my mother
00:18:23.37\00:18:25.67
could only afford to make.
00:18:25.70\00:18:27.04
So I urge everyone, we
need to start learning how
00:18:27.07\00:18:29.64
to write our
budget down, you know.
00:18:29.67\00:18:31.31
How much are you spending?
00:18:31.34\00:18:32.67
And the simple process
for forming a budget is to
00:18:32.71\00:18:36.75
write down an estimated budget,
and how much you think you're
00:18:36.78\00:18:40.05
going to spend that month.
00:18:40.12\00:18:41.45
Then go do a
thirty day spending diary,
00:18:41.48\00:18:43.49
and how much do
you actually spend.
00:18:43.52\00:18:45.35
And every single day you
throw a penny in the well.
00:18:45.39\00:18:47.26
Write it down in your
thirty day spending diary.
00:18:47.29\00:18:49.52
And then you write down
an actual budget at the end
00:18:49.56\00:18:52.63
of that thirty days.
00:18:52.66\00:18:54.00
I've never met a person
that goes through this process
00:18:54.00\00:18:55.60
and not say, Wow, I didn't know
how much money I spent on this
00:18:55.66\00:18:58.73
grocery, or that
bill, or these expenditures.
00:18:58.77\00:19:01.54
And so... and then we have
to start learning about patterns
00:19:01.60\00:19:05.37
and habits of how other
people are trying to make
00:19:05.41\00:19:07.61
us break our budget.
00:19:07.64\00:19:08.98
For instance, never
shop when you're hungry.
00:19:09.01\00:19:12.01
Never shop when you're bored.
00:19:12.05\00:19:14.28
Never shop when you are
overly emotional or happy.
00:19:14.35\00:19:20.32
You know, what is the
first thing individuals do?
00:19:20.39\00:19:23.76
Says, You're sad,
you just broke up?
00:19:23.79\00:19:25.76
Girl, let's go shopping!
00:19:25.79\00:19:27.13
You know there's, these are
certain things that happen that
00:19:27.13\00:19:28.96
cause us to start
spending money irresponsively,
00:19:29.00\00:19:32.80
and breaking our budget.
00:19:32.83\00:19:34.17
So we have to start learning
how to not break the bank.
00:19:34.24\00:19:36.34
Make sure we have all the...
Budget breakers can easily be...
00:19:36.37\00:19:40.78
Are we having coupons?
00:19:40.81\00:19:42.41
They have extreme coupons.
00:19:42.44\00:19:43.98
Individuals go out
and clip a lot of coupons.
00:19:44.05\00:19:46.92
And saving a lot of
capital by just saving money
00:19:46.95\00:19:49.75
at the grocery
store every single day.
00:19:49.78\00:19:51.12
That is so true! And you know,
some of these loyalty programs
00:19:51.15\00:19:54.26
like I know I get, because
I'm kind of like Kroger addict.
00:19:54.29\00:19:59.36
So I'm in Kroger a lot,
which is a local grocery store.
00:19:59.39\00:20:03.53
And they track
your spending patterns.
00:20:03.57\00:20:07.50
And then they see, Well, you
bought organic celery. Right.
00:20:07.54\00:20:12.44
So they'll send
you a coupon for that.
00:20:12.47\00:20:14.14
So the next time you get it, you
can save fifty cents on that.
00:20:14.18\00:20:17.01
And before you
know it that adds up.
00:20:17.05\00:20:19.41
And you can save some
money on your spending
00:20:19.45\00:20:21.82
just by using coupons.
00:20:21.85\00:20:23.59
Absolutely, absolutely!
00:20:23.65\00:20:25.32
And another financial tip that I
like to give single parents is,
00:20:25.35\00:20:28.89
have you organized
and reevaluated your
00:20:28.92\00:20:31.46
financial documents?
00:20:31.49\00:20:32.83
I think this is key.
00:20:32.86\00:20:34.20
Is your life
insurance up to date?
00:20:35.06\00:20:36.70
Many times the individual that
you just divorced from still is
00:20:36.73\00:20:41.20
the beneficiary of
that life insurance policy.
00:20:41.24\00:20:43.04
Do you want to keep that
individual for that beneficiary?
00:20:43.10\00:20:46.14
Do you have enough
coverage for your child?
00:20:46.17\00:20:48.98
There are many times you
might be able to have a divorce
00:20:49.01\00:20:52.71
attorney to simply draft
up a good custodial agreement
00:20:52.75\00:20:56.38
that will allow
you to be the owner.
00:20:56.42\00:20:57.82
If you are the custodian to make
sure that you're the owner of
00:20:57.85\00:21:01.16
that policy that your
spouse was paying for.
00:21:01.19\00:21:04.26
So all that's necessary.
00:21:04.33\00:21:05.66
Do you have a
good divorce attorney?
00:21:05.69\00:21:07.03
Do you have a good attorney
to look over all your documents?
00:21:07.03\00:21:08.90
Is your 401K 43B up to date?
00:21:08.93\00:21:11.17
Do you still want to
have your spouse to be the
00:21:11.20\00:21:13.30
beneficiary to that?
00:21:13.34\00:21:14.94
All these things and
more: your estate plan,
00:21:15.00\00:21:18.07
and obviously you
need to revise your will.
00:21:18.11\00:21:19.91
And you need to look at the
estate plan, needs to have a
00:21:19.94\00:21:22.38
living will, health
care proxy, durable spring of
00:21:22.41\00:21:25.01
financial power of attorney.
00:21:25.05\00:21:26.38
All of these things up to date.
00:21:26.41\00:21:27.75
Maybe your spouse
that you just divorced from
00:21:27.78\00:21:29.75
was your health care proxy.
00:21:29.78\00:21:31.12
The agent appointed
him and health care proxy.
00:21:31.15\00:21:33.72
Maybe your spouse was your power
of attorney that you stated
00:21:33.76\00:21:37.29
to be your attorney in
fact to carry out your wishes.
00:21:37.33\00:21:39.66
Do you still want that
individual to have that
00:21:39.73\00:21:42.06
same responsibility?
00:21:42.10\00:21:43.43
All these decisions need to be
made to make sure that your life
00:21:43.50\00:21:48.34
is firmly in order.
00:21:48.37\00:21:50.47
Um! That's really good.
00:21:50.54\00:21:52.41
You are basically just
taking control of your life,
00:21:52.44\00:21:57.11
and actually you
definitely need to check back.
00:21:57.18\00:22:01.65
Because I received documents
that my ex-husband is still
00:22:01.68\00:22:08.06
on one of my former
health plans. Right.
00:22:08.09\00:22:12.56
And it's just, you know,
it doesn't make any sense.
00:22:12.59\00:22:16.20
There are so many clients that
I've worked with over the years
00:22:16.23\00:22:19.70
who something happened
and the next thing you know,
00:22:19.77\00:22:23.37
their beneficiary was
their spouse, and they didn't
00:22:23.41\00:22:26.94
even know about it.
00:22:26.98\00:22:28.31
I mean I had one case, one
individual had their beneficiary
00:22:28.34\00:22:32.51
as their spouse;
was divorced years ago.
00:22:32.55\00:22:34.72
She passed away, and now they
looked at the document to see
00:22:34.75\00:22:38.49
where the 401K went, and
the life insurance policy,
00:22:38.52\00:22:41.26
and she had stated numerous
times that she wanted the
00:22:41.29\00:22:47.93
policy, the benefits
to go to her children.
00:22:47.96\00:22:50.50
Well, again, that
became a huge debate.
00:22:50.53\00:22:53.00
They had to go to probate,
and eventually the policy
00:22:53.03\00:22:56.14
usurped the will, because
in the will she left all those
00:22:56.17\00:22:59.24
assets to her children.
00:22:59.27\00:23:00.68
But these things usurp the will.
00:23:00.71\00:23:02.91
Your 401K statements, the life
insurance policies, usurp above
00:23:02.94\00:23:06.58
and beyond what the will states.
00:23:06.61\00:23:07.95
So it was a huge battle, and
it didn't end favorably for her.
00:23:07.98\00:23:12.25
But just all she had to
do, every single two years,
00:23:12.29\00:23:14.76
married or not actually,
you should be updating your
00:23:14.79\00:23:17.23
documents on a regular basis.
00:23:17.26\00:23:19.73
Absolutely. Take control.
00:23:19.76\00:23:22.16
Do that budget. Look
at your old documents.
00:23:22.20\00:23:26.33
Make sure that you know where
you're going, where you want
00:23:26.37\00:23:29.24
to go, and make sure you
know where your money's going.
00:23:29.27\00:23:32.11
Right. Because a lot of
times you just don't know.
00:23:32.14\00:23:34.34
And another tip that I have here
is setting up an emergency fund.
00:23:34.38\00:23:37.45
You're a single parent now.
00:23:37.51\00:23:39.41
You're essentially
living on your own.
00:23:39.45\00:23:42.35
Your liquidity
is very important.
00:23:42.38\00:23:44.79
Any additional windfall
I'd advise you to put into a
00:23:44.82\00:23:47.42
liquidity cash account to make
sure if you have any emergencies
00:23:47.46\00:23:50.59
your income into the
household is probably not as
00:23:50.63\00:23:54.36
plentiful as it was before.
00:23:54.36\00:23:56.63
So have that 9 to 12 months
of living expenses saved up.
00:23:56.70\00:24:00.24
And then you want to
make sure you capitalize
00:24:00.27\00:24:02.34
on your tax breaks.
00:24:02.37\00:24:03.71
There are many tax breaks
that we can have out there,
00:24:03.74\00:24:05.61
because individuals, if you're
earning under $75,000 a year,
00:24:05.64\00:24:08.71
you might be eligible for
an additional $1,000 a year for
00:24:08.74\00:24:11.78
additional tax break for
each individual child that
00:24:11.81\00:24:14.42
you're actually rearing.
00:24:14.45\00:24:15.78
All these things that...
earned income tax credit.
00:24:15.82\00:24:17.92
It's a huge
thing to individuals.
00:24:17.95\00:24:19.92
If you, many individuals we,
I worked with an organization
00:24:19.95\00:24:23.29
called Operation Hope.
00:24:23.32\00:24:24.66
And this organization
essentially helps for free.
00:24:24.69\00:24:26.93
And many
organizations do similar work.
00:24:27.00\00:24:28.80
Help for free to discern exactly
how much money is being left
00:24:28.83\00:24:32.77
on the table by
earned tax credit.
00:24:32.80\00:24:34.54
You have the obligation
that they pay you for working.
00:24:34.57\00:24:38.37
And if you're under a certain
income level, up to three years
00:24:38.41\00:24:41.28
in the arrears, you can get a
free check from the government.
00:24:41.31\00:24:44.21
We've had individuals who
walk out of the offices of
00:24:44.25\00:24:46.11
Operation Hope with maybe as
much as $9,000 in arrears of a
00:24:46.15\00:24:51.95
check from the government.
00:24:51.99\00:24:53.32
And then lastly,
consider a new career.
00:24:53.36\00:24:55.66
Possibly you might
want to expand to get
00:24:55.69\00:24:57.19
additional education.
00:24:57.23\00:24:58.56
And most
importantly, ask for help.
00:24:58.59\00:25:00.53
You are not by yourself.
00:25:00.56\00:25:01.86
Absolutely. Ask for
help, and ask God for help.
00:25:01.90\00:25:04.87
Absolutely. And
God is right there.
00:25:04.90\00:25:06.27
You are not alone.
00:25:06.30\00:25:07.64
That's right.
Keep Him in the midst.
00:25:07.67\00:25:09.00
Well, you have
the take away for us.
00:25:09.04\00:25:10.91
I sure do. I have some things
I have to get off my chest.
00:25:10.94\00:25:13.48
Alright, good!
00:25:13.51\00:25:16.04
There is no question
about the sanctity of marriage.
00:25:21.58\00:25:24.45
The word clearly says in Hebrews
13:4, Let marriage be held
00:25:24.49\00:25:28.49
in honor among all.
00:25:28.52\00:25:29.86
In an ideal situation we
would have a husband and a wife
00:25:29.89\00:25:33.40
in the household
together to raise a child.
00:25:33.43\00:25:35.46
We serve a perfect God, but
the world isn't always perfect.
00:25:35.50\00:25:38.57
There are many, in and out
of the church, who are raising
00:25:38.60\00:25:41.64
children as single parents.
00:25:41.67\00:25:43.00
Two parents households are
on the decline in the U.S.,
00:25:43.04\00:25:45.57
while we are seeing
spikes in the divorce rates.
00:25:45.61\00:25:47.78
According to the Pew Research
Center the percent of children
00:25:47.84\00:25:51.01
living in a two parent
household in the 60's was 73%.
00:25:51.05\00:25:54.52
By 2014 the percent of
children living in two parent
00:25:54.55\00:25:58.02
households was 46%.
00:25:58.05\00:25:59.89
Single parent
households increased almost 300%
00:25:59.95\00:26:03.22
in the same period.
00:26:03.26\00:26:04.59
To the community we must address
all issues in a loving way.
00:26:04.63\00:26:08.56
We can seek solutions to the
increasing divorce rates as well
00:26:08.60\00:26:12.07
as make sure that those single
parents always feel welcomed,
00:26:12.10\00:26:15.57
love, and their needs
are being addressed as well.
00:26:15.60\00:26:18.51
To the parents,
I'm not a parent.
00:26:18.54\00:26:21.18
I have no children, so I
can't pretend to know what
00:26:21.21\00:26:23.88
it feels like to have the
responsibility of raising a life
00:26:23.95\00:26:27.05
every single day, let alone to
have to do it all by yourself.
00:26:27.12\00:26:30.22
However, I do know I have
a God who loves everybody.
00:26:30.29\00:26:35.19
I remember the days my
mother, a single parent herself,
00:26:35.22\00:26:38.39
would be tired and
just be seeking rest.
00:26:38.43\00:26:40.96
I was too young to
recognize what that post work,
00:26:40.96\00:26:43.63
just getting home
haaaa really meant.
00:26:43.73\00:26:48.07
Right before she began to cook
dinner, and started her second
00:26:48.10\00:26:50.77
job, raising two children.
00:26:50.81\00:26:52.74
It says in Matthew 11:28,
Come to me all who labor and are
00:26:52.77\00:26:57.95
heavy laden, and I
will give you rest.
00:26:57.98\00:27:00.78
We at Dollars and Sense aren't
so naive to believe that a few
00:27:00.85\00:27:04.72
financial tips will make
all your problems disappear.
00:27:04.75\00:27:08.12
We only pray you can find
some solace from the use of this
00:27:08.16\00:27:11.26
information to
lighten your load a bit.
00:27:11.29\00:27:12.63
If you know nothing more, you
know that you have people out
00:27:12.66\00:27:15.86
there who really care about you.
00:27:15.90\00:27:17.63
Please know that you are in our
hearts, our minds, and prayers,
00:27:17.67\00:27:22.10
as you take on one of
the most important tasks:
00:27:22.14\00:27:24.11
rearing the next generation.
00:27:24.14\00:27:25.71
Please reach out
to Dollars and Sense.
00:27:25.74\00:27:27.81
Please feel free to email
us at Dollars&Sense@3abn. org
00:27:27.88\00:27:33.15
or visit us on Dare to
Dream Network on Facebook
00:27:33.18\00:27:35.82
if you feel that there's
anything we can do to assist
00:27:35.85\00:27:38.42
your journey, but
you are not alone.
00:27:38.45\00:27:40.46
As it says in Joshua
1:9, Be strong and courageous.
00:27:40.49\00:27:44.33
Do not be frightened,
and do not be dismayed,
00:27:44.36\00:27:47.20
for the Lord your God is
with you wherever you go.
00:27:47.23\00:27:51.10
Take care of
yourself and each other.
00:27:51.13\00:27:53.60
Be the change you want to see.
00:27:53.64\00:27:55.10
And remember, the purpose of
life is a life full of purpose.
00:27:55.14\00:27:58.21