(bright music)
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- Welcome everyone.
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We're excited to share
some country wisdom with you.
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- King Solomon had
a thing or two to say
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about the path to wisdom.
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In Proverbs four, he wrote,
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"Let your eyes
look directly forward
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and your gaze be
straight before you.
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Keep straight
the path of your feet
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and all your ways will be sure."
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- Join us now
for Country Wisdom.
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(bright music)
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I've just gotta
share with you directly.
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I heard this young lady
doing a sermon a while back,
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the psychopath within.
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Going what? The
psychopath within.
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So I looked around
for a setting, a location.
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I found this old broken
down barn, broken down fences,
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and it seemed
Janice really apropos
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to the first part of your story.
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I've gotta hear.
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- I like the young lady part.
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You can introduce me
like that anytime you want.
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- Everyone, the emphasis.
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- Not that
they're gonna buy that.
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Yes, it was a book I
read that I was basing that on
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and actually I think it
was, "The Psychopath Inside."
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A man who studied the brains.
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He literally was studying
the brains of serial killers
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and doing MRI scans,
seeing how they thought,
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what was going on, recognizing
areas of their brains
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that did not light up the
way normal people's brains do,
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non serial killers.
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And one day he was
going through all of these
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and he found one,
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he got to where he could just
see a brain scan and he knew
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that's one of his test subjects
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versus all of
the control subjects.
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People he worked with.
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- Lighting up the
synapses weren't fir
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you can test the synapsis
and nothing going across.
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- And he saw one and he went,
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"That's one of the psychopaths,"
but it wasn't labeled.
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And he's really
getting on his assistant going,
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"Find out who's this is,
it doesn't have a name on it."
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Well, it to
turned out it was his.
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And he's going, "I'm
not a serial killer."
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But he began
looking at ways of thinking
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at his relationships and
recognizing the tendencies he
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had and then saying,
"Well, if my brain is programmed
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where I could just as easily
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have been one of the
psychopaths that I'm studying,
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why am I not?"
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And he realized part of it
is the home he was raised in.
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He was raised in a stable home.
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He's going, "What if I
hadn't had that stability?
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Would I have
ended up like them?"
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And he was looking at
the areas of your life
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that can counteract the
brain that you were born with.
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And I've recognized that
I knew my mother very well,
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as you might imagine.
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I grew up with her and I
was programmed to be like her.
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I'm sure in
utero, it was happening
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because she was always anxious.
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She had anxiety and depression
and she treated it all
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with prescription drugs.
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She had multiple doctors
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who didn't know
that the others existed
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and always had a
cupboard full of tranquilizers
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and pain pills.
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And she just
functioned like that.
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- So everybody's
writing scripts for her
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on the same thing then.
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- Yes.
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And I was raised with that
kind of thinking in the home,
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but none of it
showed outside the home.
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I was a proper little liar
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because you would never have
talked about the whaling fight
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that had
happened the night before.
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She and my dad
would really get into it.
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I've got a little scar up,
thankfully, my bangs cover it.
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Where in one fight, she
had her hurled an egg beater
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at my dad and her aim was
off a little bit and it hit me.
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I think I was about four.
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The only good thing is that
my scalp is split open, blood,
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it was scalp bleeds.
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But it ended the fight because
they had to take me to the ER
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and get stitches.
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And by the time
that was all over,
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I think they'd forgotten
what they were fighting about.
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I remember one night,
it was a Saturday night,
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because I believe we
were watching "Lawrence Welk."
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That was my dad's favorite
show when I was little girl.
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And my mom just
walked in and announced
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that she had taken a
whole bottle of whatever it was,
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meprobamate,
something like that.
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And she just stood there,
looking at my dad and said,
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"What are you gonna do about?"
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Basically it was
up to him to prove,
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did he love her enough
to actually save her life?
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And that wasn't the only time.
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On a date in
high school one time,
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I'm pathologically punctual.
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So when I told my
mom I'll be home at 11,
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she knew I would be home at
11 and I'm certain she timed it.
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So when I came in,
the first thing I did
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was go back to her
bedroom to tell her I was home.
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And I had to come
out and get my boyfriend
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to carry my semiconscious
mother to the hospital,
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to have her stomach pumped
because she had tried once
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again. And at that time,
my dad was dying of cancer.
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I think I was a
sophomore when he was diagnosed
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and we had moved my
grandmother in with us
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because she was losing her mind.
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My mom keeps
trying to kill herself.
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My dad's dying, but
nobody outside the family
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would've known what kind of
chaos was going inside the home.
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There was no stability there.
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As a little girl, when I
would walk home from school,
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there was a certain corner,
from Acacia Street onto Central,
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where I could look down
and I could see my house
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and my stomach would
nod up because it was,
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which mother was gonna
meet me at the door that day.
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Was it gonna be a good day
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or would it be
one of her bad days?
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- So there's trauma
in your heart and mind
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every single day of your life?
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- Right, school was a refuge.
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You look back on your life.
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And I realize God
always had a particular teacher
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or the parents of friends,
someone that I always had,
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that was that bit of stability.
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I always volunteered for
things at school and at church.
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I think a lot of
that was to escape home.
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- Wow, many of us can't
even imagine that kinda home
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and probably most
can, unfortunately.
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Today's most can.
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- I think more
than we would know.
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- I had a good life that
way, but this is amazing.
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How long did this keep on?
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- Well, dad died in my
senior year of high school.
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Mom at that
point, not long after
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she sold the
home, I'd grown up in,
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moved into something
smaller with my grandmother
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who was still with us.
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But at least I was off
and independent at that point.
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- You've got all
these pills around.
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You've got a terrible life.
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Did you ever
think of them? - Oh yes.
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The genetic curse
on my mother's side,
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'cause not only my mom
but her father also had issues
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with depression and anxiety.
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And I know from stories, so
I know it came from her side.
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I was a teenager and I was
in my mother's dressing room.
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When you're a teenager,
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things that
nowadays you might just go,
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that's not even
gonna bother you next week.
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I think I hadn't
done well on a test
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and there was a boy that I
was desperately in love with
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who wouldn't even
look at me that day,
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something along those lines.
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But I remember distinctly
standing in front of the
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cupboard where she kept all
of her Darvan and meprobamate
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and a number of other
things, all kinds of bottles.
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She got them wholesale
using my dad's medical license.
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- So she was a
felon also in reality.
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- Things were looser back then.
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But I was standing
there trying to figure out,
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I was wondering, well,
how much, what combination,
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what would it take to
just make the pain go away?
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And I think a lot of people,
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there's been a
horrible rise in suicide
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and a lot of those poor
people, they're not thinking,
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I'm going to kill
and show everyone.
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It's in that moment, you
can't see beyond the blackness
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that you're enveloped in.
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And I just wanted
the pain to go away.
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And to this day, I don't
know why I shut the doors.
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Now I'm pretty
sure it was my angel.
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I don't recall
consciously deciding,
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"No Janice, you can't do that."
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But I didn't.
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Nowadays you have
so many teen suicides
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and I realize how
easily I could have been one.
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But there was always a thread,
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sometimes no more than a
thread of the Lord being there.
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Now I don't have a Damascus
road conversion experience.
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In fact, I think one of the
first times I was ever asked
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to give my testimony.
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I did what I do too often.
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I said yes and
then panicked later,
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because I'm
thinking, what can I say?
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What kind of testimony?
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What do I have?
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I even called my
daughter and I said,
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"I have to give my
testimony tomorrow morning.
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What am I gonna say?
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I'm so vanilla.
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Our family is just so vanilla."
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And she laughed.
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Our daughter is Ethiopian.
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You gotta keep
this visual in mind.
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And she said, "Vanilla?"
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She goes, "Mom,
at the very least,
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our family is chocolate ripple."
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(both laughing)
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Maybe we're not
as bland as I think.
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- But I've heard
you say many times
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that I don't have
much of a testimony.
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And I'm sitting
here listening to this,
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that you had trauma.
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I mean your old, early life,
it was just one mix of trauma.
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- It was, but at the
time, that's what I knew.
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It's not until you really look
at other families and you go,
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oh, in other
families, mom doesn't disappear
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for a few weeks.
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And later you find
out, usually from my sister,
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I don't know how Bonnie
always knew what was happening.
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She was older than I was.
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And it was kind of,
well, sooner or later,
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Bonnie will tell
me what's going on.
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And you would find out
now we would call it rehab.
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But back then it was, dad
would put mom in a sanitarium,
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is what they
called it, to dry out.
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And then when she
came home for a while,
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it would be wonderful.
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My mother was intelligent.
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She was, you think I
have a sense of humor,
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my mom could be hysterical.
00:11:03.56\00:11:05.83
She was so witty.
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And she would be a
real person for a long time.
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But then she didn't
have the anchor of the Lord.
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She could quote scripture
better than I can ever hope to.
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I'm always going,
what's that text about this?
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And then finally
someone will save me
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and say, "That's this."
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I can't remember
what those texts are.
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Mom could quote it, but it
never went beyond her head.
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She never actually knew God.
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And I might not be able
to remember my favorite text.
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I can quote it, but I can't
remember what book and chapter,
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but I can't get out
of bed in the morning
00:11:48.80\00:11:51.57
without the Lord there.
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That is the solid foundation.
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The rest of the world can
be shaking and falling apart,
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but there's a part of the
world, right under my feet
00:11:59.38\00:12:01.92
that isn't moving.
00:12:01.92\00:12:03.22
- So this lady who really
didn't have much of a testimony
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and your words, really does
have an amazing testimony of God
00:12:07.12\00:12:12.19
leading in your life
00:12:13.06\00:12:14.60
and saving you
probably from suicide too.
00:12:14.60\00:12:16.70
- Yes.
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It's just been so incremental
that you don't notice.
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It's not like Paul.
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I mean, you don't get
more dramatic than Paul
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getting knocked off his donkey.
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He's blinded and
yet he knows somehow
00:12:30.31\00:12:32.95
that's God talking to me.
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And he is not the
same person afterwards.
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I don't have a
moment that I can go back to
00:12:38.59\00:12:41.02
and say, "Here, this
is when I was converted."
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It's been that gradual process
00:12:44.46\00:12:46.76
where you actually have to
look back and you have to say
00:12:46.76\00:12:50.77
anyone who knew me
when I was an adolescent,
00:12:50.77\00:12:54.00
they would never have predicted,
00:12:55.14\00:12:56.77
Janice is gonna grow up
to be a pillar of the church,
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to be someone that other people
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would actually want to
listen to, happily married,
00:13:03.88\00:13:07.22
knowing the Lord.
00:13:07.22\00:13:08.52
That's where she's headed.
00:13:08.52\00:13:09.98
- So somewhere there
was a psychopath inside,
00:13:09.98\00:13:13.29
but God began altering your DNA.
00:13:13.29\00:13:16.19
- He certainly did.
00:13:16.19\00:13:17.23
- I couldn't help, but
think of Jeremiah chapter 29:11.
00:13:18.79\00:13:22.46
Lord says, "For
I know the thoughts
00:13:22.46\00:13:24.10
that I think
towards you, saith the Lord,
00:13:24.10\00:13:27.17
thoughts of
peace, and not of evil,
00:13:27.17\00:13:29.27
to give you an expected end."
00:13:29.27\00:13:32.44
God has an expected end for you.
00:13:32.44\00:13:34.11
He has expected end
for everybody, doesn't he?
00:13:34.11\00:13:36.54
- Yes, he does.
00:13:36.54\00:13:37.91
- I just praise God that
you're here with me today.
00:13:37.91\00:13:39.35
And God began working
on you in amazing ways.
00:13:39.35\00:13:43.45
We're gonna hear more of
that part of it in the moment.
00:13:43.45\00:13:45.35
- Yes, because I
can tell you one person
00:13:45.35\00:13:47.62
who for certain
made that change in me.
00:13:47.62\00:13:51.53
- Hey Janice, how are you doing?
00:13:52.86\00:13:54.83
- Hey, you were
wrote another book.
00:13:54.83\00:13:56.63
- I did, I had a
burden on my heart
00:13:56.63\00:13:58.37
and God helped me get it done.
00:13:58.37\00:14:00.30
- So, "The Plan of
Love," what's it about?
00:14:00.30\00:14:04.11
- Well, it's really
about God and eternity.
00:14:04.11\00:14:06.78
Saw everything that
was going to happen here.
00:14:06.78\00:14:09.38
And his amazing love He says,
00:14:09.38\00:14:11.91
"I'm gonna take
care of the problems.
00:14:11.91\00:14:13.52
I'm gonna take care of
the situation by giving my own
00:14:13.52\00:14:17.12
life." He did all that,
but we've been lied to so much.
00:14:17.12\00:14:20.26
We don't see what
God has planned for us,
00:14:20.26\00:14:22.42
what God is doing for us.
00:14:22.42\00:14:24.63
Matter of fact, the angel
came down to Mary and said,
00:14:24.63\00:14:27.66
"You shall call his name Jesus
00:14:27.66\00:14:29.23
for he shall save his
people from their sin."
00:14:29.23\00:14:32.13
Notice it wasn't in, but from.
00:14:32.13\00:14:34.54
- Where can people get the book?
00:14:34.54\00:14:36.17
- Hey, I'm glad you asked.
00:14:36.17\00:14:37.71
Folks if you'd like
your own personal copy,
00:14:37.71\00:14:39.64
log on to
TalkingDonkeyInternational.org.
00:14:39.64\00:14:42.34
And please, if you would
send us a donation of $12-
00:14:42.34\00:14:44.41
- Or more. - Or more.
00:14:45.28\00:14:47.08
And we'll get you the book
00:14:47.08\00:14:48.38
and I'll be happy
to sign it for you too.
00:14:48.38\00:14:50.25
Thank you so much.
00:14:50.25\00:14:51.35
Janice I love the
continuation of those verses
00:14:54.06\00:14:57.03
in Jeremiah 29.
00:14:57.03\00:14:58.79
"Then shall ye call
upon me, says the Lord,
00:14:58.79\00:15:01.56
ye shall go and pray unto
me, and I will hearken unto you.
00:15:01.56\00:15:04.97
Ye shall seek me and find
me, when you search for me
00:15:04.97\00:15:07.90
with all of your heart.
00:15:07.90\00:15:09.70
And I will be found of you."
00:15:09.70\00:15:12.04
- I love that too,
because I don't even know
00:15:13.68\00:15:18.75
at what point I began really
seeking him with all my heart.
00:15:20.12\00:15:23.45
I know how important he is now.
00:15:23.45\00:15:25.35
And I know that one
person that he put in my life,
00:15:26.92\00:15:29.69
because he often is
guiding you not with,
00:15:29.69\00:15:34.36
angelic heavenly
angels, but people in your life
00:15:35.46\00:15:39.63
that I think he
puts there on purpose
00:15:39.63\00:15:42.00
if you'll open your
eyes and notice them.
00:15:42.00\00:15:44.44
And after one of the
worst times in my life,
00:15:44.44\00:15:48.31
when my dad finally died
of cancer on April Fool's Day,
00:15:48.31\00:15:52.31
you would think now what?
00:15:54.45\00:15:56.99
And I was thinking that too.
00:15:56.99\00:15:58.59
And purely out of desperation,
00:15:58.59\00:16:00.79
I applied to work at
a Christian summer camp.
00:16:00.79\00:16:03.96
Mind you, I did not like kids.
00:16:03.96\00:16:06.33
I had never babysat in my life.
00:16:06.33\00:16:08.36
I never wanted children.
00:16:08.36\00:16:10.60
And so to go and
work at a summer camp,
00:16:10.60\00:16:12.80
which is kind of
filled with kids,
00:16:12.80\00:16:15.50
but I knew that I
could get a scholarship
00:16:15.50\00:16:17.71
and I needed that scholarship.
00:16:17.71\00:16:19.74
So I applied to work there
00:16:19.74\00:16:21.61
and Steve was the boy's
director, assistant director,
00:16:21.61\00:16:26.51
something like that.
00:16:26.51\00:16:27.32
He did all the scheduling.
00:16:27.32\00:16:29.12
And if you had any discipline
problems with your cabin,
00:16:29.12\00:16:32.45
or if any staff needed a
talking to, it was Steve.
00:16:32.45\00:16:36.19
And so I had gone in, when
I got the job and I had said,
00:16:36.19\00:16:41.23
Look, I will be a counselor
if you get really desperate,
00:16:42.63\00:16:45.97
but otherwise
I'll do anything else.
00:16:45.97\00:16:48.20
I would work in the
kitchen, I'd do maintenance.
00:16:48.20\00:16:50.91
But they discovered fairly
quickly that I like people.
00:16:50.91\00:16:54.41
I've got good people skills
00:16:54.41\00:16:55.94
and a good command
of the English language,
00:16:55.94\00:16:59.41
sounded really
nice on the phone.
00:16:59.41\00:17:01.55
- English major. - Yes.
00:17:01.55\00:17:03.32
And so I often
worked in the office
00:17:03.32\00:17:06.49
and his desk was
in the same room.
00:17:06.49\00:17:09.22
Well, he was always so
responsible, so businesslike,
00:17:09.22\00:17:12.86
focused on what
needed to be done.
00:17:12.86\00:17:15.10
And I thought
he's a really nice guy,
00:17:15.10\00:17:17.97
but he's kind of buttoned down.
00:17:17.97\00:17:20.67
And he thought she's a
really nice girl really smart.
00:17:20.67\00:17:25.54
- Wait, wait, wait
for the younger audience,
00:17:25.54\00:17:26.71
you've gotta
explain button down.
00:17:26.71\00:17:28.61
- Collars that
always had little buttons
00:17:29.68\00:17:31.81
to keep the
collar down and in place.
00:17:31.81\00:17:34.18
And Steve was
always- - Prim and proper.
00:17:34.18\00:17:37.29
- Yes, proper, yes.
00:17:37.29\00:17:39.42
Business like
responsible, Uber responsible.
00:17:39.42\00:17:43.46
And he recognized
that I'm intelligent.
00:17:43.46\00:17:47.03
I'm fun to be around,
00:17:47.03\00:17:49.10
but literally too
crazy to ever really date.
00:17:49.10\00:17:52.90
That's not what
he was looking for.
00:17:52.90\00:17:54.57
He was headed to medical school.
00:17:54.57\00:17:56.14
He didn't even
want a relationship.
00:17:56.14\00:17:58.01
- This was the
psychopath inside.
00:17:58.01\00:18:00.28
- Well, he was getting
little glimpses of her, yes.
00:18:00.28\00:18:02.84
But over months, not only
working together all summer,
00:18:04.58\00:18:08.58
but we went to the same college.
00:18:08.58\00:18:11.42
He was a senior chemistry major.
00:18:11.42\00:18:13.02
I was a freshman English major,
00:18:13.02\00:18:15.09
literally opposite
sides of the campus.
00:18:15.09\00:18:17.43
And yet weirdly we kept
running into each other.
00:18:17.43\00:18:21.10
And sometimes God has to
put something in front of you
00:18:21.10\00:18:25.87
and keep saying "Here, here.
00:18:25.87\00:18:28.27
Did you notice what I'm
trying to give you here?"
00:18:28.27\00:18:31.01
And you finally stop and think,
00:18:31.01\00:18:33.98
he's not like anyone
I've ever dated before,
00:18:33.98\00:18:36.88
but that's not such a bad thing.
00:18:38.08\00:18:40.22
And he had these qualities.
00:18:40.22\00:18:43.22
There was no one
that didn't respect Steve,
00:18:43.22\00:18:46.15
that didn't
recognize he's a good guy,
00:18:46.15\00:18:49.52
a genuinely good guy.
00:18:49.52\00:18:51.83
And an actual adult male.
00:18:51.83\00:18:55.10
- Was God trying to drop an
anchor in your life, is that?
00:18:56.46\00:18:58.40
- I think so.
00:18:58.40\00:18:59.93
I have no idea why
God inflicted me on him.
00:18:59.93\00:19:03.57
That would be another story.
00:19:03.57\00:19:04.84
And his mother
trust me was horrified
00:19:04.84\00:19:07.28
when he brought me home.
00:19:07.28\00:19:08.54
But somehow it has worked.
00:19:09.64\00:19:11.71
And he is just a
perfect partner for me.
00:19:11.71\00:19:16.79
He kind of keeps me
from bouncing all over
00:19:17.89\00:19:21.36
and from
getting way out of line.
00:19:21.36\00:19:25.09
He is a dedicated Christian.
00:19:25.89\00:19:28.76
When I walk into the
kitchen in the mornings,
00:19:29.83\00:19:32.37
every morning there
he is with his Bible.
00:19:32.37\00:19:34.60
I am hit or miss with that
00:19:35.80\00:19:38.24
because I don't have
the discipline he has,
00:19:38.24\00:19:40.84
but he generally
doesn't walk out of the house
00:19:40.84\00:19:43.11
without having spent
some time with the Lord.
00:19:43.11\00:19:45.75
And that's how he
has put up with me
00:19:45.75\00:19:46.95
a lot of these many years.
00:19:46.95\00:19:48.88
But he's also
provide the guidance.
00:19:49.88\00:19:51.62
He has literally
given me the stability,
00:19:53.89\00:19:57.73
the anchor to let me bloom.
00:19:57.73\00:20:01.30
And my mom didn't have that.
00:20:01.30\00:20:03.77
Maybe if she had
had a better partner,
00:20:03.77\00:20:06.37
someone who was
connected to the Lord.
00:20:06.37\00:20:08.80
My dad, the only time I
know that he said the word, God,
00:20:08.80\00:20:13.31
it was followed by expletive
that you shouldn't repeat.
00:20:13.31\00:20:18.38
I didn't grow up with my
parents taking me to church.
00:20:20.42\00:20:24.05
It was my
grandmother who lived next door.
00:20:24.05\00:20:27.22
So never underestimate the
power of a godly grandmother.
00:20:27.22\00:20:30.59
But at this point in
my life, when I met him,
00:20:32.29\00:20:34.40
my grandmother, we had
had to move her in with us
00:20:34.40\00:20:37.90
because she kept accidentally
setting her house on fire.
00:20:37.90\00:20:40.67
So God put this
godly man right in my path.
00:20:42.20\00:20:47.18
And I eventually
wised up and paid attention.
00:20:48.41\00:20:50.95
- So, He really used
Steve to begin speaking to you,
00:20:50.95\00:20:54.22
to draw you out
of that old mindset,
00:20:54.22\00:20:57.49
that old direction in life.
00:20:57.49\00:20:58.35
- Right, right.
00:20:58.35\00:20:59.89
When you are partnering with
someone who has genuine faith,
00:20:59.89\00:21:04.73
it can't help but rub off.
00:21:05.53\00:21:07.03
And I had
faith, but it was tiny.
00:21:07.03\00:21:11.93
It was there, but it
needed to be breathed on,
00:21:11.93\00:21:15.84
give it some oxygen.
00:21:15.84\00:21:17.37
And that's one
thing that he has provided
00:21:19.01\00:21:20.81
for the whole family too,
00:21:20.81\00:21:22.24
because our kids
feel the same way.
00:21:22.24\00:21:24.98
One of our sons
one and time said,
00:21:26.08\00:21:28.08
"When dad prays, you
actually know he means it.
00:21:29.38\00:21:32.89
He's not just going
through the motions."
00:21:33.99\00:21:35.92
So he is had that
effect on the kids too,
00:21:35.92\00:21:38.69
of growing up
with a godly father.
00:21:38.69\00:21:41.50
- Now you came out
of what I would call
00:21:41.50\00:21:43.83
really kind of a
living hell in your life.
00:21:43.83\00:21:48.04
Tell me though what it was
like in this growing process.
00:21:49.47\00:21:51.97
How did you see
changes in your life
00:21:51.97\00:21:54.24
and how did God
really come into your life
00:21:54.24\00:21:57.75
to where you are today?
00:21:57.75\00:21:59.65
- Well, another big
life changing experience
00:21:59.65\00:22:02.85
was having our
first child, Colin.
00:22:02.85\00:22:06.39
- Remember I said
I didn't like kids.
00:22:07.49\00:22:09.19
I never babysat, I
didn't want children.
00:22:09.19\00:22:11.63
I was terrified because I knew
that children ruin your life.
00:22:11.63\00:22:15.96
And I knew it because my mother
was always telling us that.
00:22:15.96\00:22:19.20
She could have been something,
00:22:19.20\00:22:20.54
but she got
married and had children.
00:22:20.54\00:22:22.94
I don't know how many
times she flat out told me
00:22:24.27\00:22:27.48
I was no daughter of hers
00:22:27.48\00:22:29.31
because I wasn't
meeting her expectations.
00:22:29.31\00:22:32.38
And I was terrified.
00:22:34.12\00:22:35.62
And after Colin,
I had a period of,
00:22:35.62\00:22:39.72
you hear about postpartum
blues, it was postpartum black.
00:22:39.72\00:22:43.46
In fact, Steve, when I
finally admitted to him
00:22:43.46\00:22:47.76
that I'm not doing as
well as you think I'm doing,
00:22:47.76\00:22:51.37
he was in his surgery residency.
00:22:51.37\00:22:53.27
He was hardly ever home.
00:22:53.27\00:22:54.77
And when he was, I'm a good
enough actress, I could fake it
00:22:54.77\00:22:57.71
for the 12
hours, he might be home.
00:22:57.71\00:23:00.24
And finally, when I
realized the suicidal thoughts
00:23:01.54\00:23:05.45
were seeming to make sense,
00:23:05.45\00:23:08.12
they were starting
to sound reasonable.
00:23:08.12\00:23:10.45
And I thought I can't
do that to the baby though.
00:23:10.45\00:23:14.52
I didn't love the baby.
00:23:14.52\00:23:16.16
I was going through
emotions like a robot
00:23:16.16\00:23:19.29
as if you'd handed
me an infant and said,
00:23:19.29\00:23:21.00
"Here, could you take
care of this for a while?
00:23:21.00\00:23:23.63
But I was so afraid of Colin
00:23:23.63\00:23:26.70
because I thought he's
gonna grow up and hate me
00:23:26.70\00:23:30.41
the way I hate my mother.
00:23:30.41\00:23:31.77
My brother, my sister and I,
00:23:32.97\00:23:34.34
we all got to the point
where we just cut mom off.
00:23:34.34\00:23:37.41
Absolutely no relationship.
00:23:37.41\00:23:38.98
And I was terrified that-
00:23:38.98\00:23:41.38
How could I possibly be a mom
what I didn't know how to be?
00:23:41.38\00:23:45.19
But I also hadn't reckoned
with the love God gives you.
00:23:46.79\00:23:51.13
And I think that is when
I really began to experience
00:23:51.13\00:23:54.30
what God feels for me.
00:23:54.30\00:23:55.50
And boy does that
make a difference?
00:23:56.73\00:23:59.47
- Wow, so that was really
kind of a time in your life
00:23:59.47\00:24:03.61
when God then
impacted your life.
00:24:03.61\00:24:06.84
- When you
realize, I began to know
00:24:07.91\00:24:10.88
that Steve would
do anything for me
00:24:10.88\00:24:13.21
and with Colin, it was like,
00:24:13.21\00:24:14.78
well, I know I'd
do anything for him.
00:24:14.78\00:24:17.29
Once I got over the
depression, it was like,
00:24:17.29\00:24:20.42
nobody could take
that baby from me now.
00:24:20.42\00:24:22.49
I would give my life.
00:24:22.49\00:24:23.93
And you realize that
is how God looks at me.
00:24:23.93\00:24:27.60
- Wow.
00:24:28.73\00:24:30.20
Janice. I just really appreciate
you sharing this story.
00:24:30.20\00:24:32.83
I know probably a
little tough for you.
00:24:32.83\00:24:34.54
I can see it in your face.
00:24:34.54\00:24:36.57
- You kept saying, "We
need to do your story."
00:24:37.67\00:24:39.51
And I kept
saying, "No, no we don't."
00:24:39.51\00:24:41.51
- Well, thank you so much.
00:24:42.44\00:24:43.91
- Thank you.
00:24:43.91\00:24:44.81
(lighting thudding)
00:24:47.45\00:24:50.52
There's a storm coming.
00:24:59.56\00:25:01.20
That means any minute now
00:25:02.90\00:25:05.30
my grandchildren
will start appearing,
00:25:05.30\00:25:08.27
the little ones first,
00:25:08.27\00:25:10.21
but the older ones
won't be far behind,
00:25:10.21\00:25:12.77
all of them scrambling for
the safety of grandma's lap.
00:25:12.77\00:25:17.85
They know their grandmother
isn't afraid of any storm.
00:25:19.21\00:25:21.85
And soon one of them is
bound to ask to hear it again.
00:25:23.15\00:25:26.69
The story of the great storm.
00:25:26.69\00:25:30.03
How God decided to
rid his world of evil,
00:25:30.03\00:25:33.50
how he decided to send the rain,
00:25:34.66\00:25:37.27
and how he asked
Grandpa Noah to build a boat.
00:25:38.53\00:25:42.70
(upbeat music)
00:25:42.70\00:25:45.44
- Hey Janice, how are you doing?
00:25:51.25\00:25:53.15
- Hey, you wrote another book.
00:25:53.15\00:25:54.95
- I did, I had a
burden on my heart
00:25:54.95\00:25:56.69
and God helped me get it done.
00:25:56.69\00:25:58.69
- So, "The Plan of
Love," what's it about?
00:25:58.69\00:26:02.56
- Well, it's really
about God in eternity
00:26:02.56\00:26:05.19
saw everything that
was going to happen here.
00:26:05.19\00:26:07.76
And his amazing love he says,
00:26:07.76\00:26:10.30
"I'm gonna take
care of the problems.
00:26:10.30\00:26:11.90
I'm gonna take care of
the situation by giving my own
00:26:11.90\00:26:15.50
life." He did all that,
but we've been lied to so much.
00:26:15.50\00:26:18.67
We don't see what
God has planned for us,
00:26:18.67\00:26:20.81
what God is doing for us.
00:26:20.81\00:26:23.01
Matter of fact, the angel
came down to marry and said,
00:26:23.01\00:26:26.11
"You shall call his name Jesus
00:26:26.11\00:26:27.68
for he shall save his
people from their sin."
00:26:27.68\00:26:30.55
Notice it wasn't in, but from.
00:26:30.55\00:26:32.95
- Where can people get the book?
00:26:32.95\00:26:34.62
- Hey, I'm glad you asked,
00:26:34.62\00:26:36.16
Folks, if you'd like
your own personal copy,
00:26:36.16\00:26:38.09
log on to
TalkingDonkeyInternational.org
00:26:38.09\00:26:40.76
And please, if you would send
us a donation of 12 dollars-
00:26:40.76\00:26:43.73
- Or more. - Or more.
00:26:43.73\00:26:45.50
And we'll get you the book
00:26:45.50\00:26:46.80
and I'll be happy
to sign it for you too.
00:26:46.80\00:26:48.67
Thank you so much.
00:26:48.67\00:26:49.74
(gentle music)
00:26:52.44\00:26:55.18
It's exciting to me
because I look at what God did
00:26:56.95\00:26:59.95
for this young woman
who heard a cry to him,
00:26:59.95\00:27:03.32
He came man answered the call.
00:27:03.32\00:27:05.32
- He certainly did.
00:27:05.32\00:27:06.42
He always answers
your call. - He does.
00:27:06.42\00:27:08.22
- Even if you're barely calling,
00:27:08.22\00:27:11.19
it's just a
little squeak inside.
00:27:11.19\00:27:13.43
And I know that
there's someone out there.
00:27:13.43\00:27:15.30
You might be one who is calling
out because you recognize
00:27:15.30\00:27:19.73
maybe you've never felt loved.
00:27:19.73\00:27:21.40
Maybe you don't feel
like you are lovable.
00:27:21.40\00:27:24.21
And certainly you don't
know how to genuinely love.
00:27:24.21\00:27:28.28
That was me.
00:27:28.28\00:27:29.64
And the best decision I ever
made was to ask God to come in
00:27:29.64\00:27:34.12
and begin to change
that, to fill those holes,
00:27:34.12\00:27:37.19
to start repairing
the brokenness inside
00:27:37.19\00:27:40.92
so that I had
something to actually give.
00:27:40.92\00:27:44.76
Make that decision
today if you haven't already.
00:27:44.76\00:27:47.66
(gentle music)
00:27:47.66\00:27:50.37
- Thank you for watching.
00:27:58.24\00:27:59.61
Join us again for
another exciting Country Wisdom.
00:27:59.61\00:28:01.44
- See you next time.
00:28:01.44\00:28:02.54