Hi, my name is John Coaxum, 00:00:01.36\00:00:02.70 and welcome to my barbershop Cuttin' Loose. 00:00:02.73\00:00:04.07 You know the barbershop is the last place 00:00:04.10\00:00:05.67 where a guy can speak freely about his issues. 00:00:05.70\00:00:08.34 Today, we have an interesting conversation 00:00:08.37\00:00:10.57 entitled The Real Deal on Relationships. 00:00:10.61\00:00:13.61 You don't want to miss this, standby. 00:00:13.64\00:00:15.51 How' does it look, man? 00:00:48.14\00:00:49.68 Awesome. Good stuff, man. 00:00:49.71\00:00:51.28 You're looking good, right? Thanks for working me up. 00:00:51.31\00:00:52.65 Welcome, dude, you're welcome. 00:00:52.68\00:00:54.12 Yeah, let me get you out of that. 00:00:54.15\00:00:57.42 Good? Fresh cut. 00:00:57.45\00:00:58.82 Matter of fact, yo, yo, hol on, hold on one second, 00:00:58.85\00:01:00.29 one second, one second, how was last night, man? 00:01:00.32\00:01:02.26 Oh, dude, last night, 00:01:02.29\00:01:04.13 I went to the mall and I saw her again. 00:01:04.16\00:01:06.59 Yeah. And same girl? 00:01:06.63\00:01:08.26 Same girl. Yeah. 00:01:08.30\00:01:09.63 Looking as fine as ever. And? 00:01:09.66\00:01:11.57 I approached her, I came correctly, 00:01:11.60\00:01:14.04 I was actually dressed nice too, 00:01:14.07\00:01:15.94 and she rejected me, dude. 00:01:15.97\00:01:17.31 She rejected you? 00:01:17.34\00:01:18.67 I don't know what's wrong with her, 00:01:18.71\00:01:20.04 I'm a good looking guy, I'm a nice guy. 00:01:20.08\00:01:21.41 Yo, hold on a second, hold on, 00:01:21.44\00:01:22.78 guys, listen and check this out. 00:01:22.81\00:01:24.15 So my boy just got rejected again. 00:01:24.18\00:01:27.48 Dude, man, what is wrong with you, man? 00:01:27.52\00:01:29.75 Is it really me? 00:01:29.78\00:01:31.12 What's wrong with the women out there? 00:01:31.15\00:01:32.49 I don't know, I don't know. 00:01:32.52\00:01:33.86 Hold on a second, hold on. It is him. 00:01:33.89\00:01:37.19 But check this out, man, Korey, I don't know, 00:01:37.23\00:01:38.73 you got to ask for what women want, man. 00:01:38.76\00:01:40.26 Man, no, but I need to develop one. 00:01:40.30\00:01:43.30 I mean, that's what something 00:01:43.33\00:01:44.67 that I've been thinking about for a very long time. 00:01:44.70\00:01:46.03 No, honestly, man, 00:01:46.07\00:01:47.40 what in the world do women want? 00:01:47.44\00:01:48.77 I mean, have you ever asked yourself that question, 00:01:48.80\00:01:50.31 anybody, any time? 00:01:50.34\00:01:51.67 Yeah, and I never came up with an answer yet. 00:01:51.71\00:01:53.04 Never came with an answer. 00:01:53.07\00:01:54.41 All these years, I still didn't come with answer. 00:01:54.44\00:01:55.78 And you're married, right? 00:01:55.81\00:01:57.15 And I'm married. 00:01:57.18\00:01:58.51 Wow. Absolutely. 00:01:58.55\00:01:59.88 This is like the biggest mystery of mankind, man, 00:01:59.91\00:02:01.42 what do women want? 00:02:01.45\00:02:02.78 Yo, check this out, man. 00:02:02.82\00:02:04.15 Do you think that girls will go for a guy 00:02:04.19\00:02:06.65 that doesn't have a job? 00:02:06.69\00:02:09.82 Yes. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah? 00:02:09.86\00:02:11.93 Some of our boys got females and they got no jobs. 00:02:11.96\00:02:16.13 Would you think girls prefer a guy man 00:02:16.16\00:02:18.90 that maybe has a well-paying job 00:02:18.93\00:02:22.50 because, you know, 00:02:22.54\00:02:23.87 sometimes girls ideals are just so astronomical, 00:02:23.91\00:02:26.57 don't you guys feel that way sometimes? 00:02:26.61\00:02:27.94 Like there is one more than a guy could ever give. 00:02:27.98\00:02:31.91 I think so. Yeah. 00:02:31.95\00:02:33.28 I think women want, they want the money. 00:02:33.31\00:02:34.78 They want nice car, they want a guy that has it together. 00:02:34.82\00:02:37.89 I mean, they're looking for, you know, 00:02:37.92\00:02:40.39 all the expectations to be met right away. 00:02:40.42\00:02:42.29 Right. So I think it's hard. 00:02:42.32\00:02:43.79 You know what? I know what girls want. 00:02:43.83\00:02:45.39 They want the 666. What's that 666? 00:02:45.43\00:02:49.46 Six feet tall, six pack, and six-figure salary. 00:02:49.50\00:02:52.80 Mercy. 00:02:52.83\00:02:54.34 They want the 666. Is that right? 00:02:54.37\00:02:56.84 Dude, I'm cancelled out in the first six, man. 00:02:56.87\00:02:58.67 I'm nowhere near 6 feet tall, man. 00:02:58.71\00:03:00.31 Sorry. 00:03:00.34\00:03:01.68 I'm blessed to be married, right? 00:03:01.71\00:03:03.04 You are. 00:03:03.08\00:03:04.41 So what about a car, man, what about a car? 00:03:04.45\00:03:06.25 Have you ever wanted to get with a girl 00:03:06.28\00:03:07.98 and she didn't want to get with you 00:03:08.02\00:03:09.35 just because you didn't have a car? 00:03:09.38\00:03:10.79 Or do you know somebody? 00:03:10.82\00:03:12.15 Yo, TLC messed this up, man. 00:03:12.19\00:03:13.52 Yeah? Why? 00:03:13.56\00:03:16.02 Sitting in the passenger side 00:03:16.06\00:03:18.26 of his best friend's ride, you want to... 00:03:18.29\00:03:19.83 Wow. That thing messed this up. 00:03:19.86\00:03:22.50 I mean, females were feeling bikes in the '90s... 00:03:22.53\00:03:26.27 Okay, okay. They were feeling bikes. 00:03:26.30\00:03:28.14 And then TLC come, they wax us 00:03:28.17\00:03:31.37 and now nobody wants anything less than a Benz, a BMW. 00:03:31.41\00:03:35.41 I don't know man it's all materialistic. 00:03:35.44\00:03:37.58 Yeah. Wow, wow. 00:03:37.61\00:03:38.95 They're just like, "So what are you driving?" 00:03:38.98\00:03:40.32 Yeah. Like that matters. 00:03:40.35\00:03:41.98 You know, what about my character? 00:03:42.02\00:03:43.49 What about, you know, what I bring to the table? 00:03:43.52\00:03:45.65 What if you can pay for a taxi to get you 00:03:45.69\00:03:47.12 from point A to point B, doesn't matter, right? 00:03:47.16\00:03:48.52 Well, you're kind of bus man... We'll take Uber. 00:03:48.56\00:03:49.89 Let's take Uber. Yeah, let's take Uber. 00:03:49.92\00:03:51.26 Yeah, an Uber date, come on now. 00:03:51.29\00:03:52.99 Right. Right, right. 00:03:53.03\00:03:54.36 As long as we get there, you know... 00:03:54.40\00:03:56.16 So check this out, man, I've been wondering, man, 00:03:56.20\00:03:57.70 are girls more picky than guys? 00:03:57.73\00:04:02.17 Yeah, man, I think honestly, 00:04:02.20\00:04:03.77 the guys can be a little more stiff than girls, 00:04:03.81\00:04:06.61 you know, with the expectations. 00:04:06.64\00:04:07.98 I know for me personally, man, I had a lot of expectations, 00:04:08.01\00:04:10.11 I had a lot of nonnegotiables, you know, and so, I mean, 00:04:10.15\00:04:13.28 and nowadays too, sometimes you see girls, 00:04:13.31\00:04:15.05 they cannot just date any odd guy, as long as, 00:04:15.08\00:04:16.75 you know, decent guys, as long as he's doing okay. 00:04:16.79\00:04:19.19 I mean, you've got to remember too the odds are in our favor. 00:04:19.22\00:04:21.96 Mercy. What did you mean? 00:04:21.99\00:04:23.89 What I'm saying is there's more girls than guys. 00:04:23.93\00:04:26.16 That's all I'm saying. 00:04:26.19\00:04:27.86 So I'm saying is we have the luxury 00:04:27.90\00:04:29.86 of being a little bit more picky, you know, 00:04:29.90\00:04:32.23 say when a girl break my heart, man, 00:04:32.27\00:04:34.54 there's a tons of fish in the sea, you know... 00:04:34.57\00:04:36.87 So what are your nonnegotiables? 00:04:36.91\00:04:39.07 Well, I can tell you what used to be 00:04:39.11\00:04:40.44 my nonnegotiables before my wife came into my life. 00:04:40.48\00:04:44.11 We're all insane. We're all insane. 00:04:44.15\00:04:45.75 You know, back in the day I would say, you know, 00:04:45.78\00:04:48.28 the woman I had married had to be a virgin, you know, 00:04:48.32\00:04:51.29 and that didn't mean 00:04:51.32\00:04:52.65 I didn't date girls that weren't 00:04:52.69\00:04:54.02 I just screwed that up, 00:04:54.06\00:04:55.39 I probably won't go marry her, you know... 00:04:55.42\00:04:56.76 Right, right. 00:04:56.79\00:04:58.13 Or I would say, you know, 00:04:58.16\00:04:59.49 I really wouldn't try to marry a girl who had kids, 00:04:59.53\00:05:00.86 you know, and those are some of my nonnegotiables, man. 00:05:00.90\00:05:02.56 She had, she got to work, you know, 00:05:02.60\00:05:04.77 she don't got to bring in, you know, all kinds of money, 00:05:04.80\00:05:06.70 but at the same time 00:05:06.74\00:05:08.07 you can't be sitting around the house, man, 00:05:08.10\00:05:09.44 not doing anything, 00:05:09.47\00:05:10.81 I'm not that kind of person, not a caveman. 00:05:10.84\00:05:12.67 Got to go to work, got to go to work. 00:05:12.71\00:05:14.24 Well, yo, check this out, Mike, I mean, 00:05:14.28\00:05:15.61 I know you're married now, Will, you're married, 00:05:15.64\00:05:17.35 did you have any nonnegotiables before you got married? 00:05:17.38\00:05:20.95 These things you would not budge on whatsoever. 00:05:20.98\00:05:23.95 Not, man, for real, my girlfriend, my wife now... 00:05:23.99\00:05:27.36 But we started dating when we were in eighth grade. 00:05:27.39\00:05:29.69 Mercy. Are you serious? 00:05:29.72\00:05:31.06 Wow. Eight grade... 00:05:31.09\00:05:32.63 We kind of grew up together, right? 00:05:32.66\00:05:34.73 So I kind of, you know... 00:05:34.76\00:05:36.10 This man, don't offer the Black Notebook. 00:05:36.13\00:05:39.53 Yeah, the Notebook was dumb man, but, I mean, 00:05:39.57\00:05:42.97 we kind of grew up together so I kind of watched, 00:05:43.00\00:05:45.51 so, you know, 00:05:45.54\00:05:46.88 what she really thought about life and what not, so... 00:05:46.91\00:05:49.24 For me it was kind of easy, right? 00:05:49.28\00:05:51.05 It was kind of easy to ask, I looked at her, you know, 00:05:51.08\00:05:53.58 we've been together for so long that, obviously, 00:05:53.62\00:05:57.55 we just grown to love each other 00:05:57.59\00:05:59.35 more and more all the time. 00:05:59.39\00:06:00.72 Okay. That's fair, that's fair. 00:06:00.76\00:06:02.09 Mike, how about you, man? 00:06:02.12\00:06:03.46 Yo, my stuff is like so surface... 00:06:03.49\00:06:04.89 Compared to what you just said... 00:06:04.93\00:06:08.00 Yeah, I'm thinking about like, I got to be able to run my hand 00:06:08.03\00:06:11.17 through your hair without you getting like... 00:06:11.20\00:06:12.93 Oh, boy! 00:06:12.97\00:06:14.30 You know, I'll stand off and stuff like that, it's like, 00:06:14.34\00:06:16.00 "What are you talking about?" 00:06:16.04\00:06:17.37 I want to touch your hair, you know... 00:06:17.41\00:06:18.74 Sure, sure. 00:06:18.77\00:06:20.11 So I had to have stuff like that from breath 00:06:20.14\00:06:22.08 to actually, man, I was never the type to feel a female 00:06:22.11\00:06:26.92 who was scantily clad. 00:06:26.95\00:06:28.38 Okay, okay. You know what I'm saying? 00:06:28.42\00:06:30.52 So you're dress game had to be classy. 00:06:30.55\00:06:32.79 Sure. So those are some of mine. 00:06:32.82\00:06:34.16 Okay. 00:06:34.19\00:06:35.52 Like I said surface compared to... 00:06:35.56\00:06:37.69 I'm kind of getting there 00:06:37.73\00:06:39.06 that guys probably are little more picky than girls are. 00:06:39.09\00:06:41.76 Let me ask this other question too, 00:06:41.80\00:06:43.30 man, there is one of things that I used to hate 00:06:43.33\00:06:44.73 but, have you ever had a girl 00:06:44.77\00:06:46.30 that has tried to change you over time? 00:06:46.33\00:06:48.74 Oh, mercy. 00:06:48.77\00:06:50.11 I mean, ever tried to like change you. 00:06:50.14\00:06:51.47 Absolutely. 00:06:51.51\00:06:52.84 Like make you into somebody else that you're not. 00:06:52.87\00:06:54.21 Absolutely, absolutely, and not even over time, 00:06:54.24\00:06:55.74 I had a girl telling me one time, 00:06:55.78\00:06:57.11 we were not even really dating, we just kind of talking. 00:06:57.15\00:06:59.31 You know, we hadn't really gone there yet and she said, 00:06:59.35\00:07:01.82 "We got to do something about your diet." 00:07:01.85\00:07:03.18 My diet? 00:07:03.22\00:07:04.55 What do you mean we got to do something about my diet, 00:07:04.59\00:07:05.92 I mean, you know what I want to eat? 00:07:05.95\00:07:07.29 Oh, wow. 00:07:07.32\00:07:08.66 And two days later, "You know, those jeans, 00:07:08.69\00:07:10.03 I don't know if they really fit you if I like the way, 00:07:10.06\00:07:11.46 maybe you want to wear some different jeans." 00:07:11.49\00:07:13.03 I'm like, "Listen, man, you need to fall back." 00:07:13.06\00:07:16.10 What if I like? Yeah. 00:07:16.13\00:07:17.47 You know, but it was the worst, man, it came across too, 00:07:17.50\00:07:20.10 like she was being real aggressive. 00:07:20.14\00:07:21.54 You know, so I kind of had to let it go man, 00:07:21.57\00:07:22.90 I had to let it go. 00:07:22.94\00:07:24.27 So is that something that we brothers don't feel, 00:07:24.31\00:07:26.41 aggression in that way? 00:07:26.44\00:07:28.51 When we talk about like what women want, 00:07:28.54\00:07:29.88 do they just want control, are we saying that to where, 00:07:29.91\00:07:32.88 that is too overt, and you're like 00:07:32.91\00:07:35.28 "Yo, ex them off the list." 00:07:35.32\00:07:37.32 Yeah, I don't like people trying to change me, 00:07:37.35\00:07:38.79 I'll just be honest with you, 00:07:38.82\00:07:40.16 I am who I am, you know, it is whatever. 00:07:40.19\00:07:42.06 However, I will say this, 00:07:42.09\00:07:43.76 man, when I got married, fell in love with my wife. 00:07:43.79\00:07:46.26 Man, when she began to say, 00:07:46.29\00:07:47.86 you know, "John, you're kind of junkie. 00:07:47.90\00:07:49.23 You're kind of messy." 00:07:49.26\00:07:50.60 You know, and try to change me, 00:07:50.63\00:07:51.97 you know, clean up the house better around me, 00:07:52.00\00:07:53.34 tell me I need to do this, you know, I defer to her. 00:07:53.37\00:07:55.04 I don't know why, I guess because I loved her so much, 00:07:55.07\00:07:57.71 I respected her that all of that began to change it. 00:07:57.74\00:07:59.77 I wanted to change for her. 00:07:59.81\00:08:01.14 I don't know, did you feel that, man? 00:08:01.18\00:08:02.71 No, I do not like to be told what to do. 00:08:02.74\00:08:07.05 Not even by your wife? No, no, no. 00:08:07.08\00:08:11.55 I'm a man. No, I'm a man. 00:08:11.59\00:08:12.92 Okay, I got you, I got you. 00:08:12.95\00:08:14.29 I'm going to do, I'm going to make sure 00:08:14.32\00:08:15.66 that I'm responsible to take, 00:08:15.69\00:08:17.19 you know, my job seriously as a husband, as a father... 00:08:17.23\00:08:19.09 Sure. But don't hover me, right? 00:08:19.13\00:08:21.96 You don't have to tell me to take out the trash. 00:08:22.00\00:08:23.77 I'm going to get the job done. Sure. 00:08:23.80\00:08:25.20 So don't come hovering over me. 00:08:25.23\00:08:26.77 Oh, boy. I'm the man. 00:08:26.80\00:08:28.14 I'm going to get the job done. 00:08:28.17\00:08:29.77 You know what's the worst? 00:08:29.80\00:08:31.14 When they hover and form questions. 00:08:31.17\00:08:32.54 Yeah. So did you get that... 00:08:32.57\00:08:35.28 Or "Babe, would you mind next time 00:08:35.31\00:08:39.11 if you just do this a little differently?" 00:08:39.15\00:08:40.82 Like, man, no, I'm not going to do it differently, let me live. 00:08:40.85\00:08:43.39 Yo, honestly, one thing that I really hate, man, 00:08:43.42\00:08:45.35 is that girls be like, 00:08:45.39\00:08:46.72 I don't know if you guys ever had this before. 00:08:46.76\00:08:48.09 Ask a girl, you know, "What do you want to eat?" 00:08:48.12\00:08:49.82 "I don't know." Right. 00:08:49.86\00:08:51.19 Then you take her to a place and they're like, 00:08:51.23\00:08:52.56 "You took me to the wrong place." 00:08:52.59\00:08:53.93 Well, you didn't tell me what you... 00:08:53.96\00:08:55.30 Like how am I wrong for that, you know what I'm saying? 00:08:55.33\00:08:56.67 "Why did you take me here?" 00:08:56.70\00:08:58.03 So it is like, you never know what a girl is thinking, man. 00:08:58.07\00:09:00.07 God only knows what's going on 00:09:00.10\00:09:01.44 inside a mind of a woman, right? 00:09:01.47\00:09:03.71 But anyway, yo, let me move to this, 00:09:03.74\00:09:05.57 let me ask you guys this question. 00:09:05.61\00:09:06.94 How do you feel about being chased? 00:09:06.98\00:09:09.68 Chased by a woman. 00:09:09.71\00:09:11.05 Is that a turn off or turn on for you... 00:09:11.08\00:09:12.68 Let me say that, let me jump in... 00:09:12.71\00:09:14.15 So, I think we begin this eight grade, right. 00:09:14.18\00:09:16.35 Eight grade, who is that, 00:09:16.38\00:09:18.65 just get a ring, right, just get a ring, 00:09:18.69\00:09:20.02 and my wife, my girlfriend that time, 00:09:20.06\00:09:22.92 she was the one that pursued me. 00:09:22.96\00:09:24.59 Wow. Right? 00:09:24.63\00:09:25.96 She took my watch, she took my watch 00:09:25.99\00:09:27.60 and she, you know, she kept it 00:09:27.63\00:09:29.13 and said, "You're not getting your watch back 00:09:29.16\00:09:31.23 until you give me your phone number." 00:09:31.27\00:09:32.60 Wow. 00:09:32.63\00:09:33.97 In the eighth grade. Mercy. 00:09:34.00\00:09:35.34 And it was cool then, right? 00:09:35.37\00:09:36.71 It was cool then and I didn't get my watch back 00:09:36.74\00:09:39.94 until I gave my phone number. 00:09:39.97\00:09:41.58 And every since then, you know, we've been just like that. 00:09:41.61\00:09:44.88 But now, I look back on to that, I'm like 00:09:44.91\00:09:46.72 "No one in the world I would allow that, man." 00:09:46.75\00:09:52.82 Geston, my man, how do you feel about being chased, man? 00:09:52.85\00:09:56.19 Man... Hunter or hunted? 00:09:56.22\00:09:58.53 I want to be the hunter. Okay. All right. 00:09:58.56\00:10:00.56 So when girls try to hunt me, man, it's a turn off for me. 00:10:00.60\00:10:04.80 You know, it's flattering. 00:10:04.83\00:10:06.17 Yeah, I know I'm handsome, I know I'm cool. 00:10:06.20\00:10:08.17 I know I'm desirable, but I don't want to be... 00:10:08.20\00:10:11.37 Really? Okay. 00:10:11.41\00:10:12.74 That's why I don't get what's wrong with this girl? 00:10:12.77\00:10:14.11 I didn't thought anymore. 00:10:14.14\00:10:15.48 Clearly, you know, I'm a 666, you know... 00:10:15.51\00:10:18.05 You think so. I got you, man. 00:10:18.08\00:10:20.88 Of course, not ready for the beast yet, 00:10:20.92\00:10:22.25 but it's cool though. 00:10:22.28\00:10:23.62 But I don't like being hunted, man. 00:10:23.65\00:10:24.99 I want to be the hunter. 00:10:25.02\00:10:26.35 I want to go after what I want. 00:10:26.39\00:10:27.72 But what if this girl is everything that you want, 00:10:27.76\00:10:30.03 at least physically, she's beautiful, 00:10:30.06\00:10:31.73 let's just say, mostly everything, 00:10:31.76\00:10:33.09 she's a complete package. 00:10:33.13\00:10:34.46 If she chases you, would you deny her? 00:10:34.50\00:10:36.53 No. 00:10:36.56\00:10:38.87 Everything flips on his head. 00:10:38.90\00:10:40.24 Yeah, I guess, I don't know... All right. 00:10:40.27\00:10:41.64 But I don't like being chased, man. 00:10:41.67\00:10:43.00 I'd rather be the hunter, man. I hear you. 00:10:43.04\00:10:44.87 Mike, what about you, man? 00:10:44.91\00:10:46.24 Man, really, I don't, honestly, 00:10:46.27\00:10:48.64 I want a woman who is a planter not a harvester. 00:10:48.68\00:10:52.95 I don't mind... 00:10:52.98\00:10:54.32 Break that down, break that down. 00:10:54.35\00:10:55.68 Planting seeds... Okay. 00:10:55.72\00:10:57.05 That includes my interests... Flirting. 00:10:57.09\00:10:58.42 Exactly, exactly. 00:10:58.45\00:10:59.79 But when after you trying to harvest me, 00:10:59.82\00:11:01.72 like me in a matrix or something, 00:11:01.76\00:11:03.26 then I'm just like, "No, I need another one." 00:11:03.29\00:11:05.83 And okay, all right. 00:11:05.86\00:11:07.20 But, mostly everybody here likes to chase, right? 00:11:07.23\00:11:09.06 Yeah, yeah. Kory? 00:11:09.10\00:11:10.60 I mean, I like to, 00:11:10.63\00:11:11.97 I mean, I like a little bit of attention... 00:11:12.00\00:11:13.50 All right. 00:11:13.54\00:11:14.87 I like to know that I'm worth something 00:11:14.90\00:11:16.24 that they're attracted to me, 00:11:16.27\00:11:17.61 but I want to be the one who close the deal, 00:11:17.64\00:11:18.97 just like what Mike is saying. 00:11:19.01\00:11:20.34 Okay. 00:11:20.38\00:11:21.71 What about if a girl is playing games 00:11:21.74\00:11:23.35 and what I mean is playing hard to get. 00:11:23.38\00:11:26.15 Now you know that she wants to be with you, 00:11:26.18\00:11:28.52 you know that she likes you, 00:11:28.55\00:11:29.88 but she's just denying you at every turn, 00:11:29.92\00:11:32.05 turning you down at every turn, doesn't want to... 00:11:32.09\00:11:34.66 not letting you make advances towards her 00:11:34.69\00:11:37.29 or anything like that, how do you feel about that? 00:11:37.33\00:11:38.86 Is that okay, do you like the cat and mouse game? 00:11:38.89\00:11:40.56 As long as it doesn't last forever, man. 00:11:40.60\00:11:43.06 Eventually we got to get to the playoffs, baby. 00:11:43.10\00:11:44.57 Okay, we've read this. Hearing the whole time. 00:11:44.60\00:11:46.90 I want that ring. Right, right. 00:11:46.94\00:11:49.00 Do you guys agree? Everybody's good on that? 00:11:49.04\00:11:50.37 Yeah. 00:11:50.41\00:11:51.74 Girls kind of like Hunger Games, man, 00:11:51.77\00:11:53.11 you know, I meant, odds ever be in your favor, 00:11:53.14\00:11:54.54 we could play the games at some point, 00:11:54.58\00:11:57.48 it has to switch though. 00:11:57.51\00:11:58.85 It has to switch, it has to become legit, 00:11:58.88\00:12:01.12 transparent, vulnerable... 00:12:01.15\00:12:03.42 I'll tell you as a married man, I like to chase now. 00:12:03.45\00:12:05.69 You like to chase now? 00:12:05.72\00:12:07.06 I don't like her to chase me as a married man. 00:12:07.09\00:12:11.33 We go back and forth, 00:12:11.36\00:12:12.69 but I'll like her to pursue me now little bit more or so, 00:12:12.73\00:12:14.30 you know what I'm saying? 00:12:14.33\00:12:15.66 Yeah... 00:12:15.70\00:12:17.03 She's in the mood, you know, I'm in the mood as well. 00:12:17.07\00:12:18.77 I like that, I appreciate that now. 00:12:18.80\00:12:20.97 That's cool, man, that's cool. All right, how about this? 00:12:21.00\00:12:22.84 I was watching this video 00:12:22.87\00:12:24.21 the other day online, man, this girl... 00:12:24.24\00:12:27.81 They were sitting down. She got down on one knee. 00:12:27.84\00:12:30.01 That's all. 00:12:30.05\00:12:31.38 Hold on, hold on. Let me finish, man. 00:12:31.41\00:12:32.75 She got down on one knee, I mean she opened up the box, 00:12:32.78\00:12:35.98 there was a ring or wedding band inside... 00:12:36.02\00:12:38.39 And she proposed to the guy and he said, "Yes." 00:12:38.42\00:12:41.16 How do you guys feel about that? 00:12:41.19\00:12:43.02 Role reversal. Why not? 00:12:43.06\00:12:44.79 Dude, why can't a girl propose to a guy? 00:12:44.83\00:12:48.06 He said yes. What's the big deal? 00:12:48.10\00:12:49.53 I feel like that shows a lack of confidence, man. 00:12:49.56\00:12:51.43 So basically, what she's saying is, 00:12:51.47\00:12:52.80 "If I don't propose, you're not going to propose." 00:12:52.83\00:12:54.34 Hold on, lack of confidence in the woman? 00:12:54.37\00:12:56.00 Yes. 00:12:56.04\00:12:57.37 Yeah, like she feels like she has to control 00:12:57.41\00:12:59.61 that otherwise it's not going to happen. 00:12:59.64\00:13:01.58 That's kind of how that feels to me. 00:13:01.61\00:13:03.11 You know, if you know I'm a proposed 00:13:03.14\00:13:04.58 and you kind of sit back and wait on it. 00:13:04.61\00:13:06.51 I know most women like the build up to it, 00:13:06.55\00:13:08.22 you know, "Oh, I know he's going to propose, 00:13:08.25\00:13:10.05 I don't know what kind of ring he's going to get." 00:13:10.09\00:13:11.42 All that good stuff, she kind of just like, 00:13:11.45\00:13:12.79 "Man, let me propose him before he goes find somebody else." 00:13:12.82\00:13:15.56 That's kind of how that feels to me. 00:13:15.59\00:13:16.93 She's insecure or unsure. Now he used critical words... 00:13:16.96\00:13:19.19 Yes, he did. 00:13:19.23\00:13:20.56 Now I'm scared to say it again. Yes, he did. 00:13:20.60\00:13:21.93 You said that she is desperate. Mercy. 00:13:21.96\00:13:23.30 What do you say to that? Man, just wait. 00:13:23.33\00:13:26.87 Just wait... Yeah... 00:13:26.90\00:13:29.90 You know if you know he loves you 00:13:29.94\00:13:31.64 and you know he wants to be with you, just wait. 00:13:31.67\00:13:34.14 You know, that's... Why would you propose to a man? 00:13:34.18\00:13:37.75 If she likes it, then she go put a ring on it... 00:13:37.78\00:13:39.31 All right. 00:13:39.35\00:13:41.72 What's a time limit then, what's the time... 00:13:41.75\00:13:43.72 Hey, listen, let's just be honest, 00:13:43.75\00:13:45.19 some guys have girls waiting for a very long time. 00:13:45.22\00:13:47.89 Guys, come on. 00:13:47.92\00:13:49.26 Some guys will date a girl for 10 and 15 years, 00:13:49.29\00:13:52.86 and they might not ever propose, 00:13:52.89\00:13:54.53 what's the matter with her jumping the gun 00:13:54.56\00:13:56.50 and saying, "Hey, let's just get this thing done. 00:13:56.53\00:13:58.50 I know you want to marry me, you just didn't know it yet." 00:13:58.53\00:14:00.30 All right, two things. Yeah. 00:14:00.34\00:14:01.67 First of all, a female needs to understand a male psyche. 00:14:01.70\00:14:06.21 Appreciate what we work for. Okay. 00:14:06.24\00:14:09.08 That is just kind of like, that's a principle. 00:14:09.11\00:14:11.78 When it comes to masculinity, we appreciate what we work for. 00:14:11.81\00:14:14.68 The other thing is, 00:14:14.72\00:14:16.05 if you close the garage on the physical interaction, 00:14:16.08\00:14:20.12 we will commit faster. 00:14:20.16\00:14:22.56 Hold on, hold on, you're going to break that down. 00:14:22.59\00:14:26.93 What I'm saying is, man, we don't like ultimatums, man. 00:14:26.96\00:14:29.83 At the end of the day, you almost feel like a ring 00:14:29.86\00:14:31.67 being put in front of face is ultimatum. 00:14:31.70\00:14:33.67 You know, you will marry me or we just going to stop this. 00:14:33.70\00:14:36.34 And I've actually been in a position 00:14:36.37\00:14:38.47 where I've been given ultimatums, man, 00:14:38.51\00:14:40.18 you know, I got engaged to a girl based on ultimatum. 00:14:40.21\00:14:42.38 She told me, "Listen, no more games. 00:14:42.41\00:14:45.25 We're going to get engaged 00:14:45.28\00:14:46.61 or it's just not going to happen." 00:14:46.65\00:14:47.98 All right. And we did. 00:14:48.02\00:14:49.35 We went to one-hour counseling session 00:14:49.38\00:14:50.89 and three months later, we were broken up 00:14:50.92\00:14:52.32 because I felt like I can't marry somebody 00:14:52.35\00:14:54.89 who put me in a kind of position 00:14:54.92\00:14:56.26 to make me choose, I want to go after. 00:14:56.29\00:14:57.96 I want to get it. 00:14:57.99\00:14:59.33 I want to be the one that, you know, that did the work. 00:14:59.36\00:15:01.20 Wow. Right. 00:15:01.23\00:15:02.56 Okay, so let me ask, I got to pull this to Will, man. 00:15:02.60\00:15:04.93 Yeah. Real quick, help us now. 00:15:04.97\00:15:06.50 You've been dating your wife since eighth grade. 00:15:06.53\00:15:08.84 That's what you said, right? Eighth grade, eighth grade. 00:15:08.87\00:15:10.37 Man, I know you love her. Yeah. 00:15:10.41\00:15:11.74 I mean, you know, you care for here, 00:15:11.77\00:15:13.11 clearly you wanted to be with her, 00:15:13.14\00:15:14.64 what would have been the problem, man, 00:15:14.68\00:15:16.01 if she had proposed to you? 00:15:16.04\00:15:17.38 You were dating here for a long time anyway. 00:15:17.41\00:15:18.75 No, no, no. 00:15:18.78\00:15:20.12 Dating for long time, but as a man... 00:15:20.15\00:15:22.18 Like Mike said, the man's psyche is critical. 00:15:22.22\00:15:25.92 We're hunters by nature. Right. 00:15:25.95\00:15:27.89 You know, we don't want to, you know, reverse the role... 00:15:27.92\00:15:32.09 You know, that is the man's role, you know, 00:15:32.13\00:15:34.33 I won't be stereotypical, 00:15:34.36\00:15:35.70 but that's the man's role to be able to come to the woman, 00:15:35.73\00:15:37.87 you know, just like Adam with Eve, so to speak. 00:15:37.90\00:15:39.70 You know, guy brought Eve to Adam, 00:15:39.73\00:15:42.10 but Adam was the man. 00:15:42.14\00:15:43.64 You know, God put Adam in charge of the garden. 00:15:43.67\00:15:46.37 Adam and Eve really, but Adam, you know, He call Adam's name, 00:15:46.41\00:15:49.11 "Where are you?" 00:15:49.14\00:15:50.48 And that's our psyche, man, to be the man, 00:15:50.51\00:15:52.68 to be the progenitor, so to speak, 00:15:52.71\00:15:54.92 to be man that will stand up and protect. 00:15:54.95\00:15:57.95 I don't want my wife, let's say, 00:15:57.99\00:15:59.39 to come running to protect me, you know what I'm saying? 00:15:59.42\00:16:01.76 When burglar comes in, you know... 00:16:01.79\00:16:03.29 She jumps in front of the bullet for you. 00:16:03.32\00:16:04.66 Yeah, yeah. I kill the spiders. 00:16:04.69\00:16:06.23 Right. I got you. 00:16:06.26\00:16:07.60 You know, I do all that kind of stuff... 00:16:07.63\00:16:08.96 Because really that's how I'm built as a man. 00:16:09.00\00:16:11.83 Yo, can I follow up on the physical aspect? 00:16:11.87\00:16:13.20 Yeah, go ahead, man. 00:16:13.23\00:16:14.77 I think my sisters out there, they've just got to recognize, 00:16:14.80\00:16:18.34 one of my major motivations 00:16:18.37\00:16:21.81 when it comes to committing to you 00:16:21.84\00:16:23.28 for a lifetime is the physical. 00:16:23.31\00:16:26.75 It's the physical, experiencing you in that way, 00:16:26.78\00:16:29.52 so if you give me access 00:16:29.55\00:16:31.75 to that previous to my commitment... 00:16:31.79\00:16:34.06 Wow, man. 00:16:34.09\00:16:35.42 Then where's urgency? Right. 00:16:35.46\00:16:36.79 I don't have any urgency. Right, right. 00:16:36.83\00:16:38.63 And so I don't think a lot of sisters know that. 00:16:38.66\00:16:41.50 If you're getting the free milk, why buy the cow? 00:16:41.53\00:16:47.50 Yeah, I've heard that before, man. 00:16:47.54\00:16:48.87 I'm glad it's just guys in the room for that one. 00:16:48.90\00:16:50.24 We'll check this up... 00:16:50.27\00:16:52.47 So you guys, man, you only appreciate what you work for. 00:16:52.51\00:16:56.08 Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. 00:16:56.11\00:16:57.55 So how can we let our women know, our females, 00:16:57.58\00:17:01.15 how do we let them know this timely truth, man? 00:17:01.18\00:17:04.15 What's going on in our society, man? 00:17:04.19\00:17:05.52 It's a tough balance. Yeah. 00:17:05.55\00:17:06.89 It's this balance between keeping me entreat 00:17:06.92\00:17:10.49 and letting me pursue. 00:17:10.53\00:17:11.86 Yeah. All right. 00:17:11.89\00:17:13.23 And I think that balance is tenuous, 00:17:13.26\00:17:15.40 and there's a lot of tension there 00:17:15.43\00:17:17.03 and I don't want to be in my sister's position at all 00:17:17.07\00:17:20.30 because of that balance, it's tough. 00:17:20.34\00:17:21.84 But somehow you have to strike this balance 00:17:21.87\00:17:23.94 in between making me want more and continue my pursuit. 00:17:23.97\00:17:28.04 But yet, not flipping the role 00:17:28.08\00:17:29.88 to where now you're pursuing me. 00:17:29.91\00:17:31.25 Okay, but that's a good point. 00:17:31.28\00:17:32.61 I heard what you said, making me want more. 00:17:32.65\00:17:34.35 I see a lot of girls and women on social media 00:17:34.38\00:17:37.92 in a sense making you want more. 00:17:37.95\00:17:39.89 I mean, we see girls that go into the bathroom, you know, 00:17:39.92\00:17:42.32 they find the perfect lighting for their selfie shot 00:17:42.36\00:17:45.53 or what not, they snap the picture, 00:17:45.56\00:17:47.23 and sometimes, you know, they show a little skin, 00:17:47.26\00:17:49.53 they show a little cleavage or whatever, 00:17:49.56\00:17:51.83 and guys start to comment on that. 00:17:51.87\00:17:53.64 And a lot of girls get the sense that, you know what? 00:17:53.67\00:17:55.50 That's the way to get a man, why is that the wrong way? 00:17:55.54\00:17:59.01 You said they should entice us a little bit... 00:17:59.04\00:18:00.98 What he's saying is entice him. Okay, okay. 00:18:01.01\00:18:02.81 Let's make him want her more, 00:18:02.84\00:18:04.31 not make the world want her more. 00:18:04.35\00:18:07.18 I don't want to be unwrapping the present 00:18:07.22\00:18:09.22 on my wedding night knowing that all, kind of, 00:18:09.25\00:18:11.99 everybody else are seeing what's under the wrapping. 00:18:12.02\00:18:14.96 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. 00:18:14.99\00:18:16.32 Make me want it more, 00:18:16.36\00:18:17.73 I'm not saying text me any crazy pictures. 00:18:17.76\00:18:20.66 But what we're saying is entice me 00:18:20.70\00:18:22.23 in other ways with your character, 00:18:22.26\00:18:23.73 with your personality, 00:18:23.77\00:18:25.10 you know, I don't need to see too much cleavage though. 00:18:25.13\00:18:27.80 Got you. I don't need that thing. 00:18:27.84\00:18:29.17 Now just stop me, man, 00:18:29.20\00:18:30.54 I know that you're a social media junkie, man. 00:18:30.57\00:18:32.24 I see you on there all the time. 00:18:32.27\00:18:33.71 What do you see from our women nowadays online, 00:18:33.74\00:18:35.84 what are they doing? 00:18:35.88\00:18:37.21 Man, they are posting thirst traps with scripture... 00:18:37.25\00:18:43.15 Define thirst traps, man. Dude, like the scriptures... 00:18:43.18\00:18:46.45 Dude, you're like, okay, you're front of a mirror... 00:18:46.49\00:18:48.99 Your cleavage is intact, 00:18:49.02\00:18:50.76 you know, it's showing, revealing, 00:18:50.79\00:18:52.69 and there's like a scripture, 00:18:52.73\00:18:54.10 "I will praise the Lord for I am fearfully 00:18:54.13\00:18:55.46 and wonderfully made. 00:18:55.50\00:18:56.83 Happy Sabbath, Sabbath selfie." 00:18:56.87\00:18:58.83 Really? Right, it doesn't match. 00:18:58.87\00:19:00.40 So you're trying to entice me 00:19:00.44\00:19:01.77 with your sexuality and spirituality? 00:19:01.80\00:19:04.31 You know, so it's kind of a mixed message being sent, 00:19:04.34\00:19:07.01 you know, that if a guy knows that I love the Lord 00:19:07.04\00:19:09.91 but that I'm still attractive and I show him a little bit, 00:19:09.94\00:19:12.61 he may want me. 00:19:12.65\00:19:13.98 You know, so I don't know maybe it's about the numbers game, 00:19:14.02\00:19:16.05 they know there's a shortage in available man 00:19:16.08\00:19:18.55 and so they feel the need to outdo 00:19:18.59\00:19:19.92 each other on social media. 00:19:19.95\00:19:21.29 Right. I don't know. 00:19:21.32\00:19:22.66 Maybe. What is it? 00:19:22.69\00:19:24.03 Now that's a really big point, 00:19:24.06\00:19:25.39 I've heard a lot of girls say that there are no good men, 00:19:25.43\00:19:26.76 and you check this out, 00:19:26.80\00:19:28.13 there are no good men even in the church. 00:19:28.16\00:19:30.50 Do you agree with that, there's just no man? 00:19:30.53\00:19:32.50 I mean, you said earlier, Kory, that, 00:19:32.53\00:19:34.44 you know, we outnumber them or they outnumber us rather, 00:19:34.47\00:19:37.41 so help me understand that. 00:19:37.44\00:19:38.81 I can speak from the church I attend, 00:19:38.84\00:19:41.48 we had no young men in our church, 00:19:41.51\00:19:43.21 it's like all women. 00:19:43.24\00:19:44.58 It had to be maybe 80/20, you know, 00:19:44.61\00:19:46.58 and all of the men that were there all married men. 00:19:46.61\00:19:49.78 Some of the young ladies I know, if they go and date, 00:19:49.82\00:19:52.19 they have to date outside the church, you know, 00:19:52.22\00:19:54.22 and so you kind of just got to pray that the guy they met, 00:19:54.26\00:19:57.23 they didn't meet at the club, you know, 00:19:57.26\00:19:58.63 maybe they met him at a shopping mall 00:19:58.66\00:20:00.56 or something like that, 00:20:00.60\00:20:01.93 but the numbers, man, that is not in a woman's favor, 00:20:01.96\00:20:04.00 man, it's not. 00:20:04.03\00:20:05.37 But I don't think that's an excuse, 00:20:05.40\00:20:07.00 you know, to lower your standards 00:20:07.04\00:20:09.04 or to show yourself to be something you're really not, 00:20:09.07\00:20:11.47 you know, I don't think so. 00:20:11.51\00:20:12.84 Right, and, Mike, I know you're a chaplain, 00:20:12.87\00:20:14.78 you know, at a major school, man, 00:20:14.81\00:20:16.44 and you see guys and girls interacting all the time, man. 00:20:16.48\00:20:20.05 What do you see? What's going on there? 00:20:20.08\00:20:21.42 What's happening? How is it working? 00:20:21.45\00:20:23.72 Well, man, you know, I've tried 00:20:23.75\00:20:25.89 to edit my language a little bit, 00:20:25.92\00:20:27.39 like previous to this position I would easily say, 00:20:27.42\00:20:30.13 "Yo, my sister, you need to find 00:20:30.16\00:20:31.49 a dude who's in church." 00:20:31.53\00:20:32.96 Okay, okay. 00:20:32.99\00:20:34.33 But for example, we're on a campus 00:20:34.36\00:20:35.70 where the ratio is like three to one. 00:20:35.73\00:20:38.13 Three women to one man, 00:20:38.17\00:20:39.50 so if all women gear into their own church 00:20:39.53\00:20:42.90 or even other churches, 00:20:42.94\00:20:44.74 they so outnumber the men 00:20:44.77\00:20:46.98 that that becomes impractical at some level. 00:20:47.01\00:20:48.91 No competition. 00:20:48.94\00:20:50.28 So I've been trying to figure out what's the principle 00:20:50.31\00:20:52.18 to give instead of this blanket statistic, 00:20:52.21\00:20:56.08 this overarching statement, "Find a man in church." 00:20:56.12\00:20:59.15 What if they're not in church? What do I do now? 00:20:59.19\00:21:01.26 So I'm still trying to wrestle with that thing, man. 00:21:01.29\00:21:03.06 Okay. All right, all right, good. 00:21:03.09\00:21:04.56 Now, Kory, I got to come back to you, man, 00:21:04.59\00:21:05.93 'cause I know you have a little baby girl, man, 00:21:05.96\00:21:08.33 and I hate to bring that here, but I have to, man. 00:21:08.36\00:21:10.00 You're a brand new father, you've got a little baby girl. 00:21:10.03\00:21:12.60 Man, what do you want her desires to be for another man 00:21:12.63\00:21:16.64 as she grows up? 00:21:16.67\00:21:18.01 First of all, I'm not trying to deal with this 00:21:18.04\00:21:19.37 for a full of 18 years. 00:21:19.41\00:21:23.55 You know, but at the end of the day, man, 00:21:23.58\00:21:25.31 I think that my objective is to be the best man 00:21:25.35\00:21:28.65 I could be to my daughter 00:21:28.68\00:21:30.09 so that she looks for somebody hopefully like me. 00:21:30.12\00:21:32.65 You know, I know my wife always jokes around, 00:21:32.69\00:21:35.46 and this is just all God's grace, man, 00:21:35.49\00:21:37.59 she always jokes around, I'm just like her dad. 00:21:37.63\00:21:40.76 You know, the same kind of mannerisms, 00:21:40.80\00:21:42.53 same kind of spirituality, 00:21:42.56\00:21:44.00 I mean, the same thing he would just drop it 00:21:44.03\00:21:46.40 I had prayed for, I would too, you know. 00:21:46.43\00:21:48.44 And so that's... 00:21:48.47\00:21:49.80 She didn't go out looking for it, you know, 00:21:49.84\00:21:51.17 God kind of brought us together and it turned out that way. 00:21:51.21\00:21:53.11 But I want when my little girl, my Lord, my Lord, 00:21:53.14\00:21:56.48 I want my little girl to meet the right guy 00:21:56.51\00:22:00.18 for her to see some of me in that guy. 00:22:00.22\00:22:02.98 And not just me but of course, you know, God in me, 00:22:03.02\00:22:05.39 you know, me having been courteous, 00:22:05.42\00:22:07.16 me having been respectful, 00:22:07.19\00:22:08.56 me having given her some kind of value, 00:22:08.59\00:22:11.16 you know, so that she didn't have to be on social media, 00:22:11.19\00:22:13.83 she better not be on social media 00:22:13.86\00:22:15.40 showing off herself to the world 00:22:15.43\00:22:17.10 'cause I will find a way to hack it and shut it down. 00:22:17.13\00:22:18.70 Yeah. 00:22:18.73\00:22:20.07 What I'm saying is, I want to be 00:22:20.10\00:22:21.47 want to set the example for what she sees in a man, 00:22:21.50\00:22:23.94 and even how she pursues, 00:22:23.97\00:22:25.31 she ought to see me pursuing her mom on a daily basis, 00:22:25.34\00:22:28.14 the same way you said about dating, 00:22:28.18\00:22:29.88 my little girl ought to see me dating her mom, 00:22:29.91\00:22:32.18 and I ought to date my little girl too. 00:22:32.21\00:22:34.05 You know I'd take her on dates, 00:22:34.08\00:22:35.42 we go Legoland or wherever we need to go. 00:22:35.45\00:22:37.62 You know, but she ought to know that 00:22:37.65\00:22:38.99 there's a way to be treated, a way to be valued. 00:22:39.02\00:22:41.52 Right. Absolutely. 00:22:41.56\00:22:42.89 Will, I got to give this to you, man, 00:22:42.92\00:22:44.26 'cause I know you've been married for a long time 00:22:44.29\00:22:45.63 and you're a pastor. 00:22:45.66\00:22:47.00 I know you love God and you've got two little boys. 00:22:47.03\00:22:48.56 Man, how are you training them to interact with women 00:22:48.60\00:22:51.40 in any way or are you right now? 00:22:51.43\00:22:53.03 Yeah, I am. 00:22:53.07\00:22:54.40 I'm doing it consciously 00:22:54.44\00:22:55.77 and subconsciously for them as well, right? 00:22:55.80\00:22:57.24 Because my wife and I are together in the house, 00:22:57.27\00:22:59.44 you know, my kids love this, 00:22:59.47\00:23:00.94 this one's in my nine-year-old, 00:23:00.98\00:23:02.31 he loves it when I hug my wife and give her a kiss. 00:23:02.34\00:23:05.11 Wow. I mean he's always... 00:23:05.15\00:23:06.48 What he does is when I do it publicly, right, 00:23:06.51\00:23:08.68 and I do in front of them on purpose. 00:23:08.72\00:23:10.35 So when I do it, right, my kids are always like that... 00:23:10.39\00:23:12.49 You know, they're cracking out, they falling out, whatever. 00:23:15.82\00:23:18.39 What I realized though that is in bringing them 00:23:18.43\00:23:20.33 a sense of security though. 00:23:20.36\00:23:22.10 That is like Daddy loves Mommy. 00:23:22.13\00:23:24.13 Wow. 00:23:24.17\00:23:25.50 And Mommy loves Daddy. 00:23:25.53\00:23:27.47 So for them, even though they're laughing in 00:23:27.50\00:23:29.64 and cutting up, and having a good time, 00:23:29.67\00:23:31.24 it's like, there's a sense of... 00:23:31.27\00:23:34.14 There's a good union in the house. 00:23:34.18\00:23:36.18 It's like, I do it, I touch here, 00:23:36.21\00:23:37.55 you know, very gently... 00:23:37.58\00:23:39.05 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:23:39.08\00:23:40.58 You know, we play with each other all the time 00:23:40.62\00:23:42.15 and my kids love that. 00:23:42.18\00:23:43.52 You're training them. Absolutely. 00:23:43.55\00:23:44.89 I want them to recognize that, listen, 00:23:44.92\00:23:46.79 and we don't yell at each other, 00:23:46.82\00:23:48.26 you know, that is publicly, you know what I'm saying? 00:23:48.29\00:23:50.69 We won't argue, you know, what I'm saying? 00:23:50.73\00:23:52.86 In front of our kids, if we disagree with something, 00:23:52.89\00:23:54.83 you know, we are very calm and well-mannered 00:23:54.86\00:23:56.30 because I don't want my kids to anything 00:23:56.33\00:23:58.50 contrary from their father. 00:23:58.53\00:24:00.64 Well, let's talk about God, man. 00:24:00.67\00:24:02.00 We're all Christians here, we believe in God, 00:24:02.04\00:24:03.47 we believe in the Bible. 00:24:03.51\00:24:04.84 Man, I remember that story of Boaz and Ruth. 00:24:04.87\00:24:08.21 You guys remember that story, man? 00:24:08.24\00:24:10.05 What made Boaz, man, so attractive to Ruth 00:24:10.08\00:24:13.82 that she was in a sense pursuing him, 00:24:13.85\00:24:17.12 but hold on, hold on, 00:24:17.15\00:24:19.32 but ultimately, he's the one who made the choice, 00:24:19.35\00:24:21.79 what was the situation there, what was going on? 00:24:21.82\00:24:23.73 Resources. Resources. 00:24:23.76\00:24:25.53 I mean, she is attracted to the CEO of the company 00:24:25.56\00:24:31.80 she works for, pretty much... 00:24:31.83\00:24:33.30 A six-figure salary. Yes. 00:24:33.34\00:24:34.67 Okay, okay. All right. 00:24:34.70\00:24:36.04 And that's why I think, 00:24:36.07\00:24:37.41 we're sometimes too hard on our ladies 00:24:37.44\00:24:38.87 when it comes to this whole gold digger phenomenon, 00:24:38.91\00:24:40.91 like she's only here for my resources. 00:24:40.94\00:24:43.38 Now, yes, that's an extreme, 00:24:43.41\00:24:44.85 but yeah, I think we should have some resources to offer. 00:24:44.88\00:24:48.08 I think she should be able to look at us and say, 00:24:48.12\00:24:49.85 "Man, he can care for me. 00:24:49.88\00:24:51.55 He can hold me down." 00:24:51.59\00:24:52.92 Anything else about Boaz we see in that story? 00:24:52.95\00:24:55.49 He's a leader. And girls like that. 00:24:55.52\00:24:58.16 A woman needs somebody they can follow, man. 00:24:58.19\00:24:59.86 I know my wife told me that a lot of times, man. 00:24:59.89\00:25:01.70 You know, as long as, you know, your idea is not too crazy, 00:25:01.73\00:25:04.27 you know, I want to be able to be 00:25:04.30\00:25:05.70 with a man that I can support. 00:25:05.73\00:25:07.60 You know, someone I can follow into battle, 00:25:07.64\00:25:09.34 somebody who I knows will make good decisions, 00:25:09.37\00:25:11.57 financially, you know, economically for my family. 00:25:11.61\00:25:14.04 So I think him being a leader 00:25:14.08\00:25:15.68 might have been attractive as well. 00:25:15.71\00:25:17.05 Okay. All right, all right. 00:25:17.08\00:25:18.41 Well, check this out now, man, what about the first couple, 00:25:18.45\00:25:20.65 Adam and Eve? 00:25:20.68\00:25:22.02 Real quick. 00:25:22.05\00:25:23.39 When God brought Eve, what did Adam say about her? 00:25:23.42\00:25:29.86 Flesh in my flesh! 00:25:29.89\00:25:31.23 She is flesh in my flesh. 00:25:31.26\00:25:32.59 Yep, man, 00:25:32.63\00:25:33.96 Yeah, man, so he loved her, man. 00:25:34.00\00:25:35.33 He loved here. 00:25:35.36\00:25:36.70 But at the same time, yo, Eve kind of went astray 00:25:36.73\00:25:39.33 and she was separated from her husband, 00:25:39.37\00:25:41.54 what's going on in that story, man, 00:25:41.57\00:25:43.20 what points or principles 00:25:43.24\00:25:45.24 can we take away for relationships nowadays? 00:25:45.27\00:25:48.98 Stick by your man. 00:25:49.01\00:25:51.28 Okay, all right. 00:25:51.31\00:25:52.65 Adam was somewhere in the garden, right? 00:25:52.68\00:25:54.08 He was somewhere and the devil came in when they separated. 00:25:54.12\00:25:57.35 So I think a good principle is to by all means, man, 00:25:57.39\00:25:59.52 stay close, 00:25:59.55\00:26:01.49 don't allow that separation to come in. 00:26:01.52\00:26:04.03 Last question for you, guys, 00:26:04.06\00:26:05.39 man, I got a close the shop in a minute. 00:26:05.43\00:26:06.76 But I really want to know, 00:26:06.80\00:26:08.13 do you think girls are attracted to a godly man 00:26:08.16\00:26:10.43 and I mean any girl in the world? 00:26:10.47\00:26:12.17 Are most girls attracted to a godly man, and why? 00:26:12.20\00:26:15.57 I think so, some may not be rightly attracted 00:26:15.60\00:26:17.77 to a godly man or, you know... 00:26:17.81\00:26:19.27 What do you mean? 00:26:19.31\00:26:20.64 I would say speaking from the preacher's standpoint, 00:26:20.68\00:26:22.34 you just kind of attract, 00:26:22.38\00:26:23.71 you just kind of kind of attract everybody, 00:26:23.75\00:26:25.31 but I do think that it's attractive. 00:26:25.35\00:26:27.82 As human beings, I believe that God made us 00:26:27.85\00:26:30.22 with a desire to desire Him 00:26:30.25\00:26:33.15 and I think that when, you know, when God is in you, 00:26:33.19\00:26:35.26 He's in your life, I think that attracts women. 00:26:35.29\00:26:37.03 I really think so, 00:26:37.06\00:26:38.39 I think it can kind of fill that void, you know. 00:26:38.43\00:26:40.40 Well, that's a very good point, man. 00:26:40.43\00:26:41.76 Man, listen, I got to close the shop. 00:26:41.80\00:26:43.13 I love you, guys, man. Thanks for the conversation. 00:26:43.16\00:26:45.27 Man, I also want to let you guys know 00:26:45.30\00:26:46.80 that I think that we should teach our young men 00:26:46.84\00:26:49.27 to emulate the characteristics of God. 00:26:49.30\00:26:51.84 So with that, man, I appreciate you guys. 00:26:51.87\00:26:53.48 See you next time in shop. Cool man. 00:26:53.51\00:26:55.38 Thanks for the cut. Yeah, man. 00:26:55.41\00:26:58.75 Wow, I mean, today's conversation 00:26:58.78\00:27:01.08 was literally amazing. 00:27:01.12\00:27:03.59 This is why I love opening up the barbershop 00:27:03.62\00:27:05.95 because we always get the real deal on everything 00:27:05.99\00:27:08.59 guys are thinking about. 00:27:08.62\00:27:09.96 And today, we got the real deal on relationships. 00:27:09.99\00:27:12.69 Now, okay, honestly, no man truly knows everything 00:27:12.73\00:27:16.20 about what a woman wants. 00:27:16.23\00:27:18.30 That is a mystery that God has not seen fit 00:27:18.33\00:27:20.40 to reveal to us, guys. 00:27:20.44\00:27:22.27 And maybe that's for a good reason. 00:27:22.30\00:27:24.31 Let's be honest, 00:27:24.34\00:27:27.34 if you knew what every woman wanted from you, 00:27:27.38\00:27:28.71 you would change who you are 00:27:28.74\00:27:30.18 and stop being who God created you 00:27:30.21\00:27:32.65 to be to meet her standard all the time. 00:27:32.68\00:27:35.45 Furthermore, every woman has different preferences, 00:27:35.48\00:27:39.32 different opinions, and different desires, 00:27:39.35\00:27:42.52 but I can tell you one thing that will always make any true, 00:27:42.56\00:27:46.86 true woman happy, 00:27:46.90\00:27:48.50 a man that not only looks for the approval of women, 00:27:48.53\00:27:51.87 but consistently seeks the approval of God. 00:27:51.90\00:27:55.10 I want to invite you next time to join us in the barbershop. 00:27:55.14\00:27:58.04 See you next time. 00:27:58.07\00:27:59.41