Hi, my name is John Coaxum.
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Welcome to my
barbershop, Cuttin' Loose.
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As you know, the barbershop
is one of the last places
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where a guy can keep it real
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and talk freely
about his issues.
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Today, we're
talking about what men want.
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Come and join us in the shop.
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Yes, we get one back there.
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Good. Good.
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What's up, KP? You like
that? Hey, man, looks good, man.
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Looks good. So
what's up? What's up?
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All right.
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Yo, so fellas, how's
this going today, man?
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What's up? What's up? What's up?
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Good, good, good, good.
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Good, man. Good, good.
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So let me ask
this question, man,
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which one of guys is single?
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Mike? I'm single, man.
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Single, no
girlfriend or just not married?
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What do you mean? No
girlfriend, not married.
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Single totally. No
girlfriend, not married.
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Wow, wow, man.
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We all know me, I just
got married myself, man,
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took me a while to,
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you know, choose the
right one and lay it down, man,
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but I'm happy I
did, I really am.
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But, you know, I
have so many guys, man,
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that come into the
barbershop from time to time.
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And they just have
all these preferences,
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they have all these
ideals and their goals.
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So I want to ask you
guys a couple questions,
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you all right with that?
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Hey, come on. Come on.
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All right, so check
this out, check this out.
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You got to answer honestly.
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You have to
answer honestly, right?
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Okay. Okay.
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First of all, man, talking about
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what a man wants or
what not, weave or no weave?
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No weave. No weave?
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Who says no? I'll go.
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Who says yes?
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I'm kind of want
to pass on that. Okay.
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Why you say no?
Who says no and why?
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No.
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Number one,
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that's an
expensive bill to take.
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Okay. It's
expensive. Weave is not cheap.
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All right.
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Number two, you
got to pay for them.
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They get the hair
done and all that stuff.
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Mercy.
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And you want to see
that real hair, right?
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You want the real hair. Right.
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Want the real stuff?
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I don't want
the weave and all...
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Yeah. I get that.
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All right. Who else?
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I'm the natural man.
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I like this natural,
man, that just give me nice...
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it could be
short, it could be long,
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whatever it is
just natural, man,
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make it
well-cared, make it look good.
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I just like the
kind of natural look.
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Well, hold on a second.
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What if she could put it in
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and you don't know it was there?
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Is that good enough for you?
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Yeah, I'm going
to know it's there.
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You are an expert.
You are expert on that.
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My wife comes home
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and, you know, like a
soul winner or somebody...
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Okay. I'm like, "Baby..."
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Okay, all right.
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You're messing around
and stick your hand in there
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and you might pull a chunk out.
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Oh, no, man.
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Yeah, Kory, I want
know your reflection, man.
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What's up? I'm
on the fence, man.
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I'm on the fence.
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I know before I got married,
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I told my wife, no weave, never,
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not trying to hear it.
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But I know, you know, sometimes,
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you know, it can
be, it can be nice.
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I know on our wedding day,
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she got a weave,
it was real nice, man,
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it really was.
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One of my favorite pictures
of her was with the weave,
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I can't lie, and that I
know when we travel sometimes
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it's easy,
especially when you go away
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for a long time
to have baby braids,
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you know,
extensions rather than be
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trying to do
your hair every day.
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So I mean I'm
kind of on the fence.
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Do I like it?
No, not necessarily.
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But will I accept
it? Yes, yes, I will.
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I noticed this, man, I noticed,
you know, a lot of black men,
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they have a lot of preferences,
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and I'm just trying to
weed out maybe what's important
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and what's not and
what you guys like,
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like let me throw
out another one here.
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See what you guys
think, be honest with me now.
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Makeup or no makeup?
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No makeup. No makeup.
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Who says no? Who says yes?
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No makeup. None whatsoever.
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Yeah, they have a balance.
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And you can't...
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All right, let's
say you're married
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for example, all right?
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You don't want to
wake up with your wife
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and feel like you're
cheating on her the next day
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'cause she had
caked on the makeup.
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You don't want that. Okay.
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There has to be a
balance, it has to look natural.
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So in modesty,
almost. Absolutely.
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Absolutely, man.
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A little make up
is not bad at all.
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So let's say,
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you know, if the
barber needs to be painted,
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go ahead and go for it,
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you know, paint that, you know.
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Oh, my.
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It had a negative sense,
we're all saying, just no,
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it's not bad.
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Like you said,
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I told if it's
natural, if it looks good,
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but not like,
you're not a clown,
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by no means, be natural.
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Mike, you're quiet
over there. What's up, man?
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For me, for me, no.
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I've always just enjoyed
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and always had a preference
for just natural look.
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So for me, I'm not
really a huge weave fan,
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I'm not a makeup fan.
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I just like the natural look.
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Now if you put on a
lip gloss, that's fine.
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You know, if
you have a nice pair
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of glasses that goes,
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you know, if you cut
your hair either long, short,
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if some girls,
ladies have men's haircuts,
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you know, it just
depends on your face and all,
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so I just like the natural look.
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For me, I just
don't like this...
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I won't say
supernatural or superficial
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but I just don't
like a lot of the stuff
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that ladies are doing today.
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So you feel that
she's not being herself
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when she adds on.
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Right. That's for me.
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You know, it's not
about being yourself,
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you're just
nothing better than a woman
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who just rolls out of bed,
man, and it is just beautiful.
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Wow. Just the way she is.
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That's just my...
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Yeah, I agree with
that. I hear you. I hear you.
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Let me throw one
more, at least one more,
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there's so many
coming into my mind.
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Jewelry or no jewelry?
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I'm not a jewelry
fan. Not a jewelry fan.
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I'm not either.
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You guys, you guys can talk
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about this for
whole day, what's up?
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I'm just not...
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It's just
something about him. Oh, no.
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Kory, what do you say, man?
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It's like as guys, we...
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I don't know, it's like,
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we just like the
natural look sometimes,
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I think women
sometimes only get,
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I think sometimes women think
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that they have to put
on so much to impress us.
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A lot of times,
you know, just the...
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To be honest, which for me,
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the jogging suit,
man, my wife put, man,
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had a sexier jogging suit.
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Wow.
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You know, natural,
you know what I'm saying,
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not doing too much,
you're just being...
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No, it's like I
like the confident look,
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you know what I'm saying?
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My wife is confident.
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And when you display confidence
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and that really is
an attractive look.
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You're saying that
she knows she looks good
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even though she doesn't have
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all of these
other things added on.
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That's attractive to you, right?
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Absolutely.
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I will tell you an
issue that's going on now
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that seems like a lot of
women think less is more,
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you got to leave
something for their imagination,
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you know, people aren't...
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Oh, yes.
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You go through...
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You go outside, you see
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these women
wearing next to nothing.
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Going to the mall, to
the store, to wherever.
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So hold on, you're
telling me as a guy,
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as a man you don't like that,
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is that what you
guys are telling me?
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Yeah. Nobody
wants to marry them.
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Okay. All right.
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Man, you like
trying to take that home.
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I think that goes back
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to what you said
about confidence, man,
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nothing is
sexier than confidence.
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Absolutely.
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You know, when
you put on too much,
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when you take off too much,
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it gives off this aura
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of I'm not comfortable
with me, I don't like me.
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And if you don't like
you, why should I like you.
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You know what I'm
saying, but if you know you look
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even though you're
bad, you act like you bad.
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And, you know, I'm
going to believe you bad too.
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Okay, yeah.
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And then I used to be...
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Like my brother
here what he said that
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there needs to be
a level of balance
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as well in all things.
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So if you're
balancing yourself out
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in your appearance
where it's not too gaudy
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or it's not too little,
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you know, you're coming
out with all kinds of G-strings
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and no bra and all this stuff,
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and you're trying to
attract these, you know...
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Sure, man.
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You know, that's not being real.
00:07:05.52\00:07:06.92
You know, but what
happens is you don't leave room
00:07:06.96\00:07:08.72
for the imagination,
00:07:08.76\00:07:10.09
and then you
look like you would,
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you know, you know, you
look kind of, you know...
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I just get...
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kind of...
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We got it. Yeah, yeah.
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Guys, this is amazing
that you're saying this
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because everything
in our society right now
00:07:19.73\00:07:21.07
is really
telling us the opposite.
00:07:21.10\00:07:22.44
And the every music
video that you watch,
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I mean, the girls
have on a ton of makeup,
00:07:24.07\00:07:25.94
we know that if they're
not photoshopped already,
00:07:25.97\00:07:28.04
they have on a ton of jewelry
00:07:28.08\00:07:29.41
and, you know, they
are very scantily clad.
00:07:29.44\00:07:31.65
I mean, why is that?
00:07:31.68\00:07:33.15
And how come you
guys are so different,
00:07:33.18\00:07:34.65
I'm trying to
figure this out, seriously.
00:07:34.68\00:07:36.02
Well, I mean, it's
nice to look at, I guess.
00:07:36.05\00:07:38.92
You know, the way you
think about is like this, man.
00:07:38.95\00:07:41.06
If I'm going to
afford a McLaren,
00:07:41.09\00:07:43.26
you know, I will buy it,
00:07:43.29\00:07:44.63
but I'm not going to
go drive it every day.
00:07:44.66\00:07:46.59
But I'm going to drive it
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and admire
because it looks nice.
00:07:48.00\00:07:49.36
But the truth is if I
want to drive every day,
00:07:49.40\00:07:51.00
I'm going to get me
something that's more,
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you know, reasonable,
00:07:52.40\00:07:53.74
something that's
more practical, you know.
00:07:53.77\00:07:55.17
But I may take
00:07:55.20\00:07:56.54
the nice looking car
out every now and then.
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But I don't know, it's...
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I don't know, for me,
it's like sex sales, right?
00:08:00.24\00:08:02.58
You see in media,
00:08:02.61\00:08:03.95
you're talking
about media sex sales,
00:08:03.98\00:08:05.31
and we were and
still that within our...
00:08:05.35\00:08:06.98
within women within our culture
00:08:07.02\00:08:08.35
is that you to look a
certain way to be accepted.
00:08:08.38\00:08:11.12
Even, you know,
especially as far as,
00:08:11.15\00:08:12.72
you know, black society,
00:08:12.75\00:08:14.09
we, you know, we
got to have that...
00:08:14.12\00:08:15.46
some guys got
to get a long hair,
00:08:15.49\00:08:16.83
got to have jewelry,
got to have this and that.
00:08:16.86\00:08:19.06
Where lot of times,
00:08:19.09\00:08:20.43
we really got to
go contrary to culture
00:08:20.46\00:08:22.53
or contrary to society rather
00:08:22.56\00:08:24.10
what people always
say got to be certain way.
00:08:24.13\00:08:26.50
Again, I think it's sexy
00:08:26.53\00:08:28.44
when someone just absolutely
is confident within themselves
00:08:28.47\00:08:32.07
and they know who they are.
00:08:32.11\00:08:33.88
And then that aura
comes out from them,
00:08:33.91\00:08:36.04
you could tell a lot
of times who's desperate,
00:08:36.08\00:08:37.55
who doesn't have
a self-confidence.
00:08:37.58\00:08:38.91
Wow.
00:08:38.95\00:08:40.28
And that's unattractive...
00:08:40.32\00:08:41.65
For me it is. Oh,
boy, it's attractive.
00:08:41.68\00:08:43.02
You just do, you
want to attract the wrong,
00:08:43.05\00:08:44.59
the wrong kind of people.
00:08:44.62\00:08:45.95
Wow. That's like
lust versus love.
00:08:45.99\00:08:48.42
What are you going for,
and then on top of that,
00:08:48.46\00:08:50.86
you've got to think about
the values that are associated
00:08:50.89\00:08:53.23
with the type of individual
00:08:53.26\00:08:54.60
that would be dressed like that.
00:08:54.63\00:08:56.23
What kind of values
are they really holding?
00:08:56.26\00:08:58.40
So a person that or a
woman that is scantily clad,
00:08:58.43\00:09:00.84
you can pretty much
assume, for the most part,
00:09:00.87\00:09:03.10
what she may be about
00:09:03.14\00:09:04.47
and that may not be
something that agrees with you.
00:09:04.51\00:09:05.84
For the most part.
00:09:05.87\00:09:07.21
I heard a comedian say
this one time and he said,
00:09:07.24\00:09:09.44
and I'm going to say tastefully.
00:09:09.48\00:09:10.85
Thank you.
00:09:10.88\00:09:12.21
Okay, tastefully
and cuttin' loose shop.
00:09:12.25\00:09:16.08
But this comedian said,
00:09:16.12\00:09:17.65
you know, a
woman barely dresses,
00:09:17.69\00:09:20.96
she's barely got anything on,
00:09:20.99\00:09:22.62
you know, the guy
treats her a certain way,
00:09:22.66\00:09:24.19
talks to a certain way.
00:09:24.23\00:09:25.56
Then she gets mad
at the guy and says,
00:09:25.59\00:09:27.33
"Well, why are you
talking to me like that?
00:09:27.36\00:09:29.90
I'm just dressed this way."
00:09:29.93\00:09:31.27
So he goes out
00:09:31.30\00:09:32.63
and he put dresses up like a cop
00:09:32.67\00:09:34.34
and she needs
somebody to save her.
00:09:34.37\00:09:36.40
And he's just like,
00:09:36.44\00:09:37.77
"Well, why are
you coming up to me,
00:09:37.81\00:09:39.44
I'm just dressed this way."
00:09:39.47\00:09:41.21
Like, what do
you expect me to do?
00:09:41.24\00:09:42.91
Right.
00:09:42.94\00:09:44.28
I mean, so many
black guys, seriously, man,
00:09:44.31\00:09:46.25
I mean, they
want the Video Vixen.
00:09:46.28\00:09:48.05
I mean, they want the woman
that dresses scantily clad.
00:09:48.08\00:09:50.89
I mean, it
appears that way to me,
00:09:50.92\00:09:52.82
I don't know why that is.
00:09:52.85\00:09:54.19
Yeah, but here's
the issue though,
00:09:54.22\00:09:55.86
the issue is that while
00:09:55.89\00:09:57.23
we may look at what my
brother said is the media
00:09:57.26\00:10:00.36
and the scantily
dressed, and the sex sells,
00:10:00.40\00:10:05.27
when all that starts to go away,
00:10:05.30\00:10:08.37
and when you
bring that woman home
00:10:08.40\00:10:10.27
and now she has to take
care of house, home, child,
00:10:10.31\00:10:12.84
and have motherly responsibility
00:10:12.87\00:10:15.34
and a wife responsibility,
00:10:15.38\00:10:17.55
you know, all of that
stuff doesn't mean anything
00:10:17.58\00:10:20.05
because, yes, in the
bedroom she's all fine
00:10:20.08\00:10:22.52
and she's all this and she looks
00:10:22.55\00:10:23.89
and smells all good,
but at the end of the day,
00:10:23.92\00:10:26.22
if you want a
meaningful relationship
00:10:26.25\00:10:28.72
and you want someone
that is that you can trust
00:10:28.76\00:10:30.86
with your children and
trust with finances and not...
00:10:30.89\00:10:35.46
For example, but, you
know, you have those finances
00:10:35.50\00:10:38.13
and then she's more focused
with those finances on hair
00:10:38.17\00:10:41.27
and nails and this and
that and the bills aren't paid,
00:10:41.30\00:10:44.14
now you have a person
00:10:44.17\00:10:45.51
who is more concerned
about superficial image
00:10:45.54\00:10:48.11
and putting on the mask
00:10:48.14\00:10:49.81
than taking care of her
responsibilities at home.
00:10:49.84\00:10:51.68
And not only...
00:10:51.71\00:10:53.05
I'm sorry. Yeah, go ahead.
00:10:53.08\00:10:54.42
Not only that, but
that goes to the woman
00:10:54.45\00:10:57.22
that's going to be
taking off the eyelashes,
00:10:57.25\00:10:59.15
taking off the wig, and
the nails and the makeup,
00:10:59.19\00:11:03.02
and they're going be
00:11:03.06\00:11:04.39
with a totally different
person that you ever...
00:11:04.43\00:11:05.83
Yeah, I've heard
that story so many times.
00:11:05.86\00:11:07.66
You know, I married
this beautiful woman
00:11:07.70\00:11:09.83
and when they finally get
home on the wedding night,
00:11:09.86\00:11:11.83
I mean she's
taken off all this stuff
00:11:11.87\00:11:13.20
and he literally does
not recognize his wife
00:11:13.23\00:11:15.07
when she comes out of the room.
00:11:15.10\00:11:16.44
You know, that's really
sad... Totally different person.
00:11:16.47\00:11:17.81
I was going to say
00:11:17.84\00:11:19.17
the same thing
on the internet now,
00:11:19.21\00:11:20.54
you see the pictures of stories
00:11:20.58\00:11:21.91
just like that before and after,
00:11:21.94\00:11:23.28
and you're like who is that,
00:11:23.31\00:11:24.65
I mean, I couldn't deal
00:11:24.68\00:11:26.01
with that kind of
stuff at all, man.
00:11:26.05\00:11:27.38
Yeah, absolutely.
00:11:27.42\00:11:28.75
So you think guys,
00:11:28.78\00:11:30.12
I mean guys really in
their heart of hearts,
00:11:30.15\00:11:31.49
they want the complete package,
they just don't want a girl
00:11:31.52\00:11:32.85
who is good
looking on the exterior,
00:11:32.89\00:11:34.36
they want everything
that comes with it, right?
00:11:34.39\00:11:36.12
Yeah, I think so.
There's no doubt about it.
00:11:36.16\00:11:37.79
I think that, especially
with young girls, right,
00:11:37.83\00:11:40.26
because we got to
train our young girls
00:11:40.30\00:11:42.53
on how to dress
and how to be confident
00:11:42.56\00:11:45.27
and how to be able to go
about themselves as a woman.
00:11:45.30\00:11:48.24
And as men, I think
we have a responsibility
00:11:48.27\00:11:50.34
as well to teach that.
00:11:50.37\00:11:51.71
And I think that,
especially like my wife
00:11:51.74\00:11:53.81
she should model that
for other women as well.
00:11:53.84\00:11:56.61
So people can look and say,
00:11:56.64\00:11:57.98
"Man, you know, that's what
a virtuous woman looks like."
00:11:58.01\00:12:01.65
Yeah, one of things I
actually agree with you
00:12:01.68\00:12:03.18
is that when all
that superficial thing,
00:12:03.22\00:12:05.49
those things are gone,
00:12:05.52\00:12:07.86
you know, when you
take off the weave,
00:12:07.89\00:12:09.22
when everything is all gone,
00:12:09.26\00:12:10.59
you want someone that comes home
00:12:10.63\00:12:11.96
and is able to
take care of the home
00:12:11.99\00:12:14.03
and to stand by her man.
00:12:14.06\00:12:15.66
And I think in
the black community,
00:12:15.70\00:12:17.07
you need men that
are men in the home,
00:12:17.10\00:12:19.73
that are the leaders of the home
00:12:19.77\00:12:21.24
that have a wonderful wife
00:12:21.27\00:12:22.60
that stands next to them
and take care of the house home
00:12:22.64\00:12:25.11
and family.
00:12:25.14\00:12:26.47
Okay, that's fair, that's fair.
00:12:26.51\00:12:27.84
Let me throw
another one to you, guys.
00:12:27.88\00:12:29.21
You ready? Yeah, yeah.
00:12:29.24\00:12:30.85
So, well, I'm
from the south, man,
00:12:30.88\00:12:32.21
one of the biggest things,
00:12:32.25\00:12:33.58
it's kind of
like an unwritten rule
00:12:33.62\00:12:34.95
for women, so to speak,
00:12:34.98\00:12:36.32
is that every girl must
know how to cook, and most guys,
00:12:36.35\00:12:40.39
they choose for a
wife, a woman who can cook
00:12:40.42\00:12:43.19
and if they don't, it's
like a deal breaker for them.
00:12:43.22\00:12:45.79
How do you guys feel about that?
00:12:45.83\00:12:47.16
Is that a deal breaker for
you if they can cook or not?
00:12:47.20\00:12:49.60
Deal breaker for me. Whoa!
00:12:49.63\00:12:52.03
Can you help me? Just help me.
00:12:52.07\00:12:53.57
What do you mean
by it? I can cook.
00:12:53.60\00:12:55.37
I mean, I dabble,
00:12:55.40\00:12:56.74
and as I learn
how to get better.
00:12:56.77\00:12:58.91
But I believe that
a woman should know
00:12:58.94\00:13:03.28
how to cook to take care
00:13:03.31\00:13:04.68
because here's one
thing I've learned in my life,
00:13:04.71\00:13:07.12
there are times
00:13:07.15\00:13:08.48
when I am not
disciplined in my own health
00:13:08.52\00:13:11.59
and in my own way of cooking.
00:13:11.62\00:13:13.42
And so I'll eat
too much of something
00:13:13.46\00:13:15.19
or I'll eat something else,
and it ends up being unhealthy.
00:13:15.22\00:13:18.69
If a woman who wants to
take care of a man knows
00:13:18.73\00:13:20.96
how to cook, she
will be able to know,
00:13:21.00\00:13:23.06
"Honey, you put on a
little bit too much weight,
00:13:23.10\00:13:24.43
let me add more salad."
00:13:24.47\00:13:25.80
Hold on.
00:13:25.83\00:13:27.17
You wanted to cook,
00:13:27.20\00:13:28.54
you wanted to cook for
accountability for you?
00:13:28.57\00:13:30.04
Well, I mean, not
necessarily accountability,
00:13:30.07\00:13:34.28
not necessarily accountability,
00:13:34.31\00:13:35.64
but I just think
that now I'm saying
00:13:35.68\00:13:37.41
that there's a shared
responsibility, certainly, yes.
00:13:37.45\00:13:40.05
But I think for me,
00:13:40.08\00:13:41.52
that it shows that a woman knows
00:13:41.55\00:13:43.79
how to take care
of the entire house
00:13:43.82\00:13:46.02
whether by cooking,
whether by washing clothes,
00:13:46.05\00:13:48.16
whether by the children rearing,
00:13:48.19\00:13:49.76
all of that, and
so there's a balance
00:13:49.79\00:13:51.83
of your
responsibilities as a wife.
00:13:51.86\00:13:53.93
And cooking should be, in
my estimation, one of them.
00:13:53.96\00:13:57.33
I'm not saying
that I can't cook,
00:13:57.37\00:13:59.57
I'm saying that it
should be a part of your wife
00:13:59.60\00:14:02.20
responsibilities in balance.
00:14:02.24\00:14:04.67
Be careful.
00:14:04.71\00:14:06.78
That's your personal preference.
00:14:06.81\00:14:08.14
Yeah, personal preference.
Okay, who doesn't care?
00:14:08.18\00:14:11.68
I don't care at all.
00:14:11.71\00:14:13.05
I don't care at all. Why not?
00:14:13.08\00:14:14.82
Like you said
you're from the south,
00:14:14.85\00:14:16.18
and I think
it's the north thing,
00:14:16.22\00:14:17.55
you know what I'm saying.
00:14:17.59\00:14:19.25
My wife, we first got married,
she wasn't the greatest cook,
00:14:19.29\00:14:21.42
you know what I'm saying,
00:14:21.46\00:14:22.79
but, you know, we
both struggled together
00:14:22.82\00:14:24.76
and now, you know, I
haven't lost any weight.
00:14:24.79\00:14:27.40
So you're still eating
good? I'm still eating good.
00:14:27.43\00:14:28.96
She's done a phenomenal,
she does the phenomenal job.
00:14:29.00\00:14:31.10
But here's the thing
now that now that she cooks,
00:14:31.13\00:14:33.17
I also cook as well
00:14:33.20\00:14:34.54
because of the
share responsibilities,
00:14:34.57\00:14:36.20
you know, we both are
busy, we both are professional.
00:14:36.24\00:14:38.04
So I can't just
say at home like,
00:14:38.07\00:14:39.91
"Okay, I'm going to wait for her
00:14:39.94\00:14:41.28
to get home and
make her man a meal."
00:14:41.31\00:14:44.21
No, I'm going to kitchen.
00:14:44.25\00:14:45.58
Get pasta pans
out, put stuff together,
00:14:45.61\00:14:47.88
and I'm going to fix the
meal for the family as well
00:14:47.92\00:14:50.25
'cause I'm man enough to do it.
00:14:50.29\00:14:51.62
Come on, doc.
00:14:51.65\00:14:54.19
Now, Kory, I
know you like to make,
00:14:54.22\00:14:55.82
and you got a little
Jamaican in your blood.
00:14:55.86\00:14:57.19
I know you can burn, man.
00:14:57.23\00:14:58.56
So how do you feel about it?
It's definitely cultural, man.
00:14:58.59\00:15:00.16
I know when I met my wife...
00:15:00.20\00:15:01.53
Well, first of all,
you know, in the Caribbean,
00:15:01.56\00:15:03.37
men do the cooking.
00:15:03.40\00:15:04.73
If you go to a
Jamaica restaurant,
00:15:04.77\00:15:06.13
there's no women
in the back cooking,
00:15:06.17\00:15:07.50
it's men back there.
00:15:07.54\00:15:08.87
You know, so
it's kind of expected
00:15:08.90\00:15:10.24
I was going to cook,
00:15:10.27\00:15:11.61
I didn't really
expect it from my wife.
00:15:11.64\00:15:12.97
But the truth is, man,
since we've been married,
00:15:13.01\00:15:14.34
she's been
cooking more than I have.
00:15:14.38\00:15:16.04
Now I definitely,
I'm not disappointed.
00:15:16.08\00:15:18.28
You know, but
definitely in our culture,
00:15:18.31\00:15:20.88
you know, I would
be the one cooking.
00:15:20.92\00:15:22.25
I know my father
even to this day,
00:15:22.28\00:15:23.62
when I tell what my mother's
good taste in food, he laughs,
00:15:23.65\00:15:26.62
he's like, "Man, your
mother can't cook, man,
00:15:26.65\00:15:28.16
you know, I did
all the cooking."
00:15:28.19\00:15:29.89
You know,
definitely in our culture,
00:15:29.92\00:15:31.29
the men cook, so...
00:15:31.33\00:15:32.76
I mean, for me, I can
definitely speak to this.
00:15:32.79\00:15:34.46
My wife is an
excellent cook, man.
00:15:34.50\00:15:36.53
I really think she could be on,
00:15:36.56\00:15:37.90
you know, one of
those food cooking channels
00:15:37.93\00:15:39.67
if she wanted to.
00:15:39.70\00:15:41.04
But that's not the
reason I married her,
00:15:41.07\00:15:42.40
I married her for so
many different reasons
00:15:42.44\00:15:43.77
but that just
happened to be a bonus,
00:15:43.81\00:15:45.54
you know, one of those things.
00:15:45.57\00:15:46.91
But let me throw out
one more, y'all ready?
00:15:46.94\00:15:48.28
There's so many
coming to me, guys.
00:15:48.31\00:15:49.64
I'm sorry, I got
to give it to you.
00:15:49.68\00:15:51.11
What if she does not have
a career or a job right now?
00:15:51.15\00:15:55.28
Is that a deal breaker for you?
00:15:55.32\00:15:56.65
No. No.
00:15:56.69\00:15:58.02
Not a deal breaker.
For nobody? Why not?
00:15:58.05\00:16:00.66
Because you're going to
be the primary breadwinner,
00:16:00.69\00:16:02.02
you're going to be good.
00:16:02.06\00:16:03.39
No, not necessarily.
00:16:03.43\00:16:04.76
I think that when you
start quoting and dating
00:16:04.79\00:16:07.96
and you decide on the future,
00:16:08.00\00:16:10.27
any one of us
can work or not work.
00:16:10.30\00:16:14.00
You know, if there's a
need as we have more children,
00:16:14.04\00:16:16.74
bigger house, car,
whatever that both of us need
00:16:16.77\00:16:19.07
to have a dual income
00:16:19.11\00:16:20.44
and be able to come
in, then no problem.
00:16:20.48\00:16:22.18
If she chooses not
to work and et cetera,
00:16:22.21\00:16:24.45
then that's not a
problem for me either.
00:16:24.48\00:16:27.28
I actually would
prefer a professional woman,
00:16:27.32\00:16:30.35
I do, I prefer someone
who is a doctor, lawyer,
00:16:30.39\00:16:33.25
and she's a MSW,
00:16:33.29\00:16:34.62
or someone like that
that does a professional,
00:16:34.66\00:16:36.93
you know, professional job.
00:16:36.96\00:16:38.29
Why is that? I don't know.
00:16:38.33\00:16:41.80
I just think that...
00:16:41.83\00:16:45.23
It's your
preference, your preference.
00:16:45.27\00:16:46.90
But I also think
that for me personally,
00:16:46.94\00:16:51.14
I just always enjoyed
someone that compliments me.
00:16:51.17\00:16:54.54
You know, someone
00:16:54.58\00:16:55.91
who is at the level of education
00:16:55.94\00:16:58.68
and the level of professionalism
00:16:58.71\00:17:00.05
that I am where we add
00:17:00.08\00:17:02.35
to each other's
profession, you know?
00:17:02.38\00:17:04.32
I always said, man,
00:17:04.35\00:17:06.15
I don't care if
you can't find a job,
00:17:06.19\00:17:07.52
you're going to work somewhere,
00:17:07.56\00:17:08.89
even if you got to
go barber store, right?
00:17:08.92\00:17:10.93
Man, the truth is
life happens, man.
00:17:10.96\00:17:12.29
That's right.
00:17:12.33\00:17:13.66
You know, especially
the time we're living in,
00:17:13.70\00:17:15.03
jobs just don't come
as easy as they used to.
00:17:15.06\00:17:16.97
You have all the
degrees, all the experience,
00:17:17.00\00:17:19.17
if you can't, if you
don't know people sometimes,
00:17:19.20\00:17:21.00
you can't get a job.
00:17:21.04\00:17:22.37
So nowadays, if you
can't work as long as,
00:17:22.40\00:17:24.41
you know,you can make me happy
and you don't drive me crazy
00:17:24.44\00:17:26.78
if you stay
home, they work okay.
00:17:26.81\00:17:28.68
Yeah, for me, it's not a
deal breaker at all, man,
00:17:28.71\00:17:30.45
I couldn't care less.
00:17:30.48\00:17:31.81
I mean, you know,
it didn't matter then,
00:17:31.85\00:17:33.58
it doesn't matter now.
00:17:33.62\00:17:34.95
And like you said, I
think you made a good point,
00:17:34.98\00:17:36.45
life happens to everybody.
00:17:36.48\00:17:38.19
And so if you're basing,
00:17:38.22\00:17:39.55
you know, the
woman that you want to be
00:17:39.59\00:17:40.92
with based on her
career or her job,
00:17:40.96\00:17:42.62
what happens if she loses?
00:17:42.66\00:17:43.99
Yeah, for
instance, that's my point.
00:17:44.03\00:17:46.26
My wife with our second child,
00:17:46.29\00:17:48.76
she went into pre-term
labor which meant that,
00:17:48.80\00:17:52.80
you know, she
had to quit her job.
00:17:52.83\00:17:54.90
Basically, she's on
bed rest for three months.
00:17:54.94\00:17:58.04
And for three months,
you know what I'm saying,
00:17:58.07\00:18:01.58
I did everything in the
house, cooked, cleaned, ironed.
00:18:01.61\00:18:05.35
Took her to Kia's did everything
00:18:05.38\00:18:07.42
because you see
that life happens.
00:18:07.45\00:18:08.98
So you can't just get
stuck in your head thinking,
00:18:09.02\00:18:10.69
"Okay, they have
to do this and that."
00:18:10.72\00:18:12.59
And they'll be disappointed
when life throws a curve ball
00:18:12.62\00:18:16.39
and you can't take
care of your expectations.
00:18:16.42\00:18:19.59
But I think you said
also take into consideration
00:18:19.63\00:18:21.76
the trajectory
like how long have
00:18:21.80\00:18:24.37
they been on employee like
00:18:24.40\00:18:25.73
if you have a stay at
home wife, you know...
00:18:25.77\00:18:29.57
Really bad. Come on, come on.
00:18:29.60\00:18:31.14
If you have a stay
at home wife, okay,
00:18:31.17\00:18:33.58
you know, that' a decision
that you guys made or whatever,
00:18:33.61\00:18:36.08
and that's fine.
00:18:36.11\00:18:37.45
But if she's been
unemployed since forever
00:18:37.48\00:18:41.22
and doesn't want to work
or doesn't do anything...
00:18:41.25\00:18:44.02
Going back, I mean,
even with the cooking thing,
00:18:44.05\00:18:46.32
like, it's a will, if
she has the will like say
00:18:46.35\00:18:49.52
she doesn't have the
skill or she can't cook,
00:18:49.56\00:18:51.66
but she has the desire to learn
00:18:51.69\00:18:53.63
because she wants
to please her man,
00:18:53.66\00:18:55.20
make her man
happy, that's great.
00:18:55.23\00:18:57.10
We could work with
that. Right, right, right.
00:18:57.13\00:18:58.53
But if you...
00:18:58.57\00:18:59.90
I mean, if she can
cook, if she could throw down
00:18:59.93\00:19:02.00
and she never cooks, how...
00:19:02.04\00:19:05.01
That doesn't, you know...
00:19:05.04\00:19:06.37
That's a waste of talent.
That's a waste of talent.
00:19:06.41\00:19:08.28
Somebody is being
real honest today.
00:19:08.31\00:19:10.28
Well, let me say this, man,
00:19:10.31\00:19:11.65
I think everybody has a
lot of different preferences
00:19:11.68\00:19:13.58
when it comes to women.
00:19:13.62\00:19:14.95
And you can't just ask
the question of what men want
00:19:14.98\00:19:17.05
because it
varies based on culture,
00:19:17.09\00:19:19.55
geographical
location, maybe even religion.
00:19:19.59\00:19:22.02
But I was wondering today,
00:19:22.06\00:19:23.83
you know, does the
Bible give us any answers
00:19:23.86\00:19:26.33
on what we should be
looking for in a woman as men?
00:19:26.36\00:19:29.46
What should we be
looking for or are there
00:19:29.50\00:19:31.17
any examples of
good women in the Bible
00:19:31.20\00:19:33.30
that we can find
today in our society?
00:19:33.34\00:19:36.30
Well, I studied that the Bible
talks about in Proverbs 31,
00:19:36.34\00:19:38.41
this whole concept
of a virtuous woman.
00:19:38.44\00:19:40.78
And the concept in
Proverbs 31 was of a woman
00:19:40.81\00:19:43.95
who was a hard worker,
00:19:43.98\00:19:45.78
who took care of
family, took care of the kids,
00:19:45.81\00:19:49.22
was able to do
anything everything
00:19:49.25\00:19:51.15
and really not even
to depend upon a man.
00:19:51.19\00:19:53.46
I mean, she was able to do
every single thing in the home.
00:19:53.49\00:19:56.22
And I think
that's a good example
00:19:56.26\00:19:58.29
for our time that we're
living as well right now
00:19:58.33\00:19:59.66
that the woman,
00:19:59.69\00:20:01.03
you know, should not
even depended upon the man.
00:20:01.06\00:20:03.30
And the man should not
be depended upon the woman,
00:20:03.33\00:20:05.37
you know, it's a union together
00:20:05.40\00:20:08.44
where you're getting
things done together.
00:20:08.47\00:20:10.24
All right, you
made a very good point.
00:20:10.27\00:20:12.27
Well, you said a
word, a virtuous woman.
00:20:12.31\00:20:14.14
Yeah, yeah.
00:20:14.18\00:20:15.51
I've always wonder people throw
00:20:15.54\00:20:16.88
that word out
there all the time.
00:20:16.91\00:20:18.25
What is a virtuous woman, guys?
00:20:18.28\00:20:20.12
I'll only define maybe one
or two points of a virtuous,
00:20:20.15\00:20:22.68
I mean, I think
virtuous encompasses
00:20:22.72\00:20:24.35
so many characteristics.
00:20:24.39\00:20:26.05
And my definition of a virtuous
one or two would be someone
00:20:26.09\00:20:29.02
who was a helpmeet and someone
who was a support to her man,
00:20:29.06\00:20:32.83
to her husband.
00:20:32.86\00:20:34.20
And so the first
component of that
00:20:34.23\00:20:36.06
is that when you
now become my wife,
00:20:36.10\00:20:40.17
number one, you
have completed me
00:20:40.20\00:20:42.60
and number two,
we now become one.
00:20:42.64\00:20:44.91
And so where I may fall short,
00:20:44.94\00:20:46.64
where I may have some
flaws or I have some issues,
00:20:46.68\00:20:49.74
you are the one that comes in
00:20:49.78\00:20:51.41
and balances me out and
supports me and sets me up.
00:20:51.45\00:20:54.78
And also, as my brother said,
00:20:54.82\00:20:56.89
puts me towards a future
00:20:56.92\00:20:58.72
and forward trajectory that says
00:20:58.75\00:21:00.82
that we are both progressing
forward to God's own will.
00:21:00.86\00:21:04.56
And while we're progressing,
00:21:04.59\00:21:05.93
we are also within God an
example to so many others,
00:21:05.96\00:21:09.36
an example to both our children,
00:21:09.40\00:21:11.23
an example to
society and the community.
00:21:11.27\00:21:13.47
Sure. Anybody?
Yeah, yeah, virtuous.
00:21:13.50\00:21:14.94
At the end of the day,
00:21:14.97\00:21:16.30
I would define
virtuous this way,
00:21:16.34\00:21:17.67
I would say a woman
who's just real, just genuine.
00:21:17.71\00:21:21.24
You know, I got married, man,
00:21:21.28\00:21:22.81
and the bottom
line is it didn't matter
00:21:22.84\00:21:24.51
if you can cook, didn't
matter what my expectations are,
00:21:24.55\00:21:27.05
once we get
married, we're married.
00:21:27.08\00:21:28.92
So you need a woman
00:21:28.95\00:21:30.29
who's real,
who's going to be like,
00:21:30.32\00:21:31.65
"Now I'm ready to do the work.
00:21:31.69\00:21:33.02
Whatever comes
up, whatever happens."
00:21:33.05\00:21:34.39
Remember, even
with the children,
00:21:34.42\00:21:36.09
you know, pre-term
labor, anything can happen, man.
00:21:36.12\00:21:38.53
Pre-term is not
even remotely close
00:21:38.56\00:21:40.26
to like some of the things
we know people struggle with.
00:21:40.30\00:21:42.43
We've got to be man to woman
who's ready to do the work.
00:21:42.46\00:21:44.47
You know, who's
going to say, man,
00:21:44.50\00:21:45.83
"No matter what happens
00:21:45.87\00:21:47.20
we're going to
struggle through it together."
00:21:47.24\00:21:48.57
If I got to learn to
cook, I learn to cook,
00:21:48.60\00:21:49.94
if I get two
jobs, I get two jobs,
00:21:49.97\00:21:51.57
whatever it takes to make
our marriage work, you know?
00:21:51.61\00:21:54.08
So even some of the
stuff that we as men,
00:21:54.11\00:21:56.21
we just would be real,
00:21:56.24\00:21:57.58
you know, our "preferences"
at the end of the day,
00:21:57.61\00:21:59.51
those preferences are
gone out of the window, man.
00:21:59.55\00:22:02.18
And everything I've said so far
is said that, I felt this way,
00:22:02.22\00:22:05.02
but I mean I got
married, I'm like...
00:22:05.05\00:22:07.62
it's okay. It changed.
00:22:07.66\00:22:08.99
Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:09.02\00:22:10.36
So virtuous, man,
00:22:10.39\00:22:11.73
anybody else want
to take a stab at that?
00:22:11.76\00:22:13.09
I'm really...
00:22:13.13\00:22:14.46
Well, let me ask it this
way, does it mean perfect?
00:22:14.50\00:22:17.20
No. Not at all.
00:22:17.23\00:22:18.67
Are you sure? Not at all.
00:22:18.70\00:22:20.14
I mean because if
you look at Proverbs 31,
00:22:20.17\00:22:22.40
I've read it a few
times, it seems to be saying
00:22:22.44\00:22:24.67
that this woman is
practically perfect.
00:22:24.71\00:22:27.01
She got to go out. She
got to go on her own, man.
00:22:27.04\00:22:28.71
Okay.
00:22:31.88\00:22:33.21
The whole thing
of virtuous as well,
00:22:33.25\00:22:34.72
virtuous woman is
that she has virtue.
00:22:34.75\00:22:36.75
I mean, that's the part,
she has virtue, she has purity,
00:22:36.79\00:22:39.45
she has self-confidence,
she has a go get her attitude,
00:22:39.49\00:22:43.53
she has a good
head on her shoulders.
00:22:43.56\00:22:45.96
I mean, she is clear
about what needs to be done,
00:22:45.99\00:22:48.60
and she gets the job done.
00:22:48.63\00:22:50.97
I think that's probably
what virtuous means as well.
00:22:51.00\00:22:52.73
Do you think that,
man, we as guys sometimes,
00:22:52.77\00:22:56.34
we make girls feel
bad for not being perfect.
00:22:56.37\00:22:59.34
And I want to say this
way, especially, Christian guys,
00:22:59.37\00:23:02.38
we hold up the
standard of Proverbs 31,
00:23:02.41\00:23:05.15
and we say every woman
has got to meet this standard
00:23:05.18\00:23:08.05
but more often
than not, it seems like
00:23:08.08\00:23:09.78
we as guys don't
meet this godly standard
00:23:09.82\00:23:12.55
that God has given us.
00:23:12.59\00:23:13.92
Do we put girls down
in anyway? Absolutely.
00:23:13.96\00:23:15.89
How so?
00:23:15.92\00:23:17.26
Well, I mean, I'll
just put it this way,
00:23:17.29\00:23:18.89
relationship in general for me
00:23:18.93\00:23:20.46
is all about
marriage and expectations.
00:23:20.50\00:23:22.43
And I think we come to the table
00:23:22.46\00:23:23.80
with just
unrealistic expectations.
00:23:23.83\00:23:25.53
So if you set the
bar extremely high,
00:23:25.57\00:23:27.54
you're going to fail every time,
00:23:27.57\00:23:28.90
which is probably why
00:23:28.94\00:23:30.27
in our world people get divorced
00:23:30.31\00:23:31.64
every other day
00:23:31.67\00:23:33.01
because they've got expectations
00:23:33.04\00:23:34.38
that are not realistic.
00:23:34.41\00:23:35.74
One of the things my
wife and I had to deal
00:23:35.78\00:23:37.11
was we had sit down, and I said,
00:23:37.15\00:23:38.48
"Man, what do you want from me?
00:23:38.51\00:23:39.85
What do you expect from me?"
00:23:39.88\00:23:41.22
And I can go through that list,
and I tell her straight up,
00:23:41.25\00:23:42.58
"This ain't happening.
00:23:42.62\00:23:43.95
This is not going to happen.
00:23:43.99\00:23:45.32
These over here, I
can get what you wanted."
00:23:45.35\00:23:47.52
She can do the same
thing with me, you know.
00:23:47.56\00:23:49.49
Mike, what do you think?
00:23:49.52\00:23:50.86
For me, I think I
want someone that's,
00:23:50.89\00:23:53.09
like my brother said
is real and transparent.
00:23:53.13\00:23:55.66
Oftentimes, in the relationship,
00:23:55.70\00:23:57.57
especially at
the beginning stages,
00:23:57.60\00:23:58.97
we put on masks,
00:23:59.00\00:24:01.00
we try to act the
best and do the best
00:24:01.04\00:24:04.61
because we really
don't know each other,
00:24:04.64\00:24:05.97
right, we're just meeting.
00:24:06.01\00:24:07.91
And so you don't know
my flaws and my habits,
00:24:07.94\00:24:09.68
I don't know
your flaws and habits.
00:24:09.71\00:24:11.05
I don't know your
past, you don't know my past.
00:24:11.08\00:24:12.95
And as the courtship goes
on, as the dating goes on,
00:24:12.98\00:24:15.75
as that we hope the
mask falls off then...
00:24:15.78\00:24:18.62
The weave falls off.
00:24:18.65\00:24:20.69
Mask falls off...
00:24:20.72\00:24:22.06
Yeah.
00:24:22.09\00:24:23.43
What usually happens is now
00:24:23.46\00:24:24.79
you get to know the real person,
00:24:24.83\00:24:26.16
and that real person,
00:24:26.19\00:24:27.53
when you both know
the real deal holy feel,
00:24:27.56\00:24:31.13
the real person of who
you're now depending on
00:24:31.17\00:24:35.10
and desiring to spend
the rest of your life with,
00:24:35.14\00:24:37.67
then you won't have any issues
of, you know, "I didn't know.
00:24:37.71\00:24:41.01
And well, this is new."
00:24:41.04\00:24:42.38
And, you know, "I didn't
know this about you before,"
00:24:42.41\00:24:46.31
and all of that.
00:24:46.35\00:24:47.68
And so what happens is you
now focus on moving forward,
00:24:47.72\00:24:51.75
being
transparent with each other,
00:24:51.79\00:24:53.76
and being real and honest.
00:24:53.79\00:24:56.09
Yeah, I don't want
to go into a marriage,
00:24:56.12\00:24:57.83
and I have not been honest,
and you have not been honest,
00:24:57.86\00:25:00.43
and then you have divorce.
00:25:00.46\00:25:02.90
The high divorce
rate is not based on
00:25:02.93\00:25:04.63
just how being divorced,
00:25:04.67\00:25:06.00
the high divorce rate
is that you being fake.
00:25:06.03\00:25:07.70
Right.
00:25:07.74\00:25:09.07
So unrealistic expectations
are all around us as black men.
00:25:09.10\00:25:14.11
Am I right about
that? Absolutely.
00:25:14.14\00:25:15.48
But the beauty of marriage
is that you have two people
00:25:15.51\00:25:18.28
who are not
perfect coming together...
00:25:18.31\00:25:20.98
They admit they're not perfect.
You admit you are not perfect.
00:25:21.02\00:25:23.15
Well, I've got my
flaws, you got your flaws...
00:25:23.18\00:25:25.69
Especially, in
the Christian context,
00:25:25.72\00:25:27.06
you recognize that God is able
00:25:27.09\00:25:29.22
to still bring us
together in such a way
00:25:29.26\00:25:31.36
where my flaws
still complements you.
00:25:31.39\00:25:34.06
Right. That's very important.
00:25:34.10\00:25:35.43
There has to be that balance,
00:25:35.46\00:25:36.80
there has to be compromise
that you have to keep Christ
00:25:36.83\00:25:39.40
as the central focus
in your relationship.
00:25:39.43\00:25:40.84
Absolutely.
00:25:40.87\00:25:42.20
Because if you don't have
that, you don't have anything.
00:25:42.24\00:25:44.34
That's why I thank
God that He blessed me
00:25:44.37\00:25:46.57
with the woman that I have now
00:25:46.61\00:25:48.44
because we have
worship together,
00:25:48.48\00:25:50.71
pray together, we talk
about spiritual things.
00:25:50.75\00:25:53.82
And it's a whole new
way of going about things.
00:25:53.85\00:25:57.95
And it really,
really makes a difference
00:25:57.99\00:25:59.95
because there are those values,
00:25:59.99\00:26:01.79
there is that virtue.
00:26:01.82\00:26:03.43
It doesn't mean she got
to be a spiritual juggernaut.
00:26:03.46\00:26:05.13
Sure.
00:26:05.16\00:26:06.49
She doesn't have
to be a preacher.
00:26:06.53\00:26:07.86
Right. Sure.
00:26:07.90\00:26:09.23
We got to be clear
00:26:09.26\00:26:10.60
that we're both
trying to get to heaven.
00:26:10.63\00:26:11.97
Right. Right.
00:26:12.00\00:26:13.34
You know, I have to
admit, you know, me and my wife,
00:26:13.37\00:26:14.70
we worship together as well.
00:26:14.74\00:26:16.07
It is such a
beautiful thing. Yeah.
00:26:16.10\00:26:17.44
To be able to
talk about God together
00:26:17.47\00:26:19.04
as husband and wife.
00:26:19.07\00:26:20.41
You know, I don't feel like,
00:26:20.44\00:26:21.78
you know, I'm in
any sense teaching
00:26:21.81\00:26:24.25
my wife spiritual things,
00:26:24.28\00:26:25.61
but we learn from each other,
and we're growing together.
00:26:25.65\00:26:28.25
It's such a
wonderful thing, man.
00:26:28.28\00:26:29.72
So I want to find out
from you guys just real quick,
00:26:29.75\00:26:31.59
we only got a few seconds here,
00:26:31.62\00:26:32.95
and I got to
close the shop today.
00:26:32.99\00:26:34.32
But, y'all, is
there anybody in the Bible
00:26:34.36\00:26:36.29
that stands out as a
virtuous woman to you?
00:26:36.32\00:26:38.56
Real quick. Mary maybe.
00:26:38.59\00:26:40.53
Mary. Zipporah.
00:26:40.56\00:26:41.90
Zipporah. Yeah.
00:26:41.93\00:26:43.26
I got to piggyback of Mary, man.
00:26:43.30\00:26:44.63
How can you...
00:26:44.67\00:26:46.00
You can't go wrong.
Mary, Mother of Christ.
00:26:46.03\00:26:47.60
Esther, man. Esther.
00:26:47.64\00:26:48.97
Esther. Definitely.
00:26:49.00\00:26:50.34
Well, this has been a
great conversation, guys, man.
00:26:50.37\00:26:51.71
Thank you so much
for pouring into me
00:26:51.74\00:26:53.17
and helping my
Brother Mike as well.
00:26:53.21\00:26:54.54
Yeah, man. Appreciate y'all.
00:26:54.58\00:26:55.91
Man, we're praying for you
00:26:55.94\00:26:57.28
that you might get a
virtuous woman, all right?
00:26:57.31\00:26:58.65
I got to close the shop,
but I see you guys next time.
00:26:58.68\00:27:00.02
All right.
00:27:00.05\00:27:02.95
Wow, we had an
awesome conversation today.
00:27:02.98\00:27:05.82
We talked about
all the preferences
00:27:05.85\00:27:07.69
that a lot of men have
in looking for a woman.
00:27:07.72\00:27:10.86
I want to say this,
there is nothing wrong,
00:27:10.89\00:27:13.40
absolutely nothing,
00:27:13.43\00:27:14.76
with having preferences
00:27:14.80\00:27:16.13
for that special
someone in your life.
00:27:16.16\00:27:18.03
But don't do
yourself a disservice
00:27:18.07\00:27:20.44
by only focusing
on the externals.
00:27:20.47\00:27:23.14
The Bible gives us men a
pretty clear interpretation
00:27:23.17\00:27:27.04
of what is most
profitable for the woman
00:27:27.08\00:27:29.54
we choose to be with.
00:27:29.58\00:27:31.08
It says this,
00:27:31.11\00:27:32.45
"Charm is
deceitful, and beauty is vain,
00:27:32.48\00:27:35.68
but a woman who fears the Lord,
she is worthy to be praised."
00:27:35.72\00:27:40.26
Proverbs 31:30.
00:27:40.29\00:27:42.96
Look for a woman that
is the complete package.
00:27:42.99\00:27:46.19
And what I mean
by that is a woman
00:27:46.23\00:27:48.03
who is virtuous in the sense
that she obeys the Word of God,
00:27:48.06\00:27:51.60
she's willing to
follow the will of God,
00:27:51.63\00:27:54.34
and she knows the
Word of God for herself.
00:27:54.37\00:27:57.11
God bless you.
See you next time.
00:27:57.14\00:27:58.74