Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery,
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I'm Cheri your host and
today we are going to talk about
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Teen Challenge, - I love that.
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And I love these guys and
you are going to be blessed so
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you have to join us in the café.
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It is going to be too cool.
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You know the season we are
talking about step four, and
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remember we had talked
about a number of different
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organizations do
step four different.
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12 step programs have like
you look at your resentments
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and you look at
who you're angry at.
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You deal with how that
felt, how that felt in your
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pocket book, how that felt
in your heart, how that felt
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in your self-esteem, you look
at it in all different ways.
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There is other people that
look at like the Oxford group.
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They will look at your
moral inventory with honesty and
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love and how you trashed
yourself in those areas of
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relationships. We look
at pride, rebellion, anger,
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with me I was
really damaged in my life.
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I was damaged in a
lot of different ways.
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I had molestation, I had
parents that were self focused
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on their own stuff
so I was damaged to the
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point where I became very
sensitive, and if my husband
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was here he would be
yelling no it is more than that,
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it's much more than that.
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But I became very self
focused, my feelings got hurt
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easily and all that stuff.
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So even though I could stop
the drugs I had all this kind
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of junk that
went along with them.
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I had anger, I could play
people and lie better than most.
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I lived on the streets
for 10 years so I learned
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how to manipulate and
learned and all those things.
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So this season we are talking
about not only coming out
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of whatever the addiction
is, not only coming out of
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whether you are a
shopaholic, whether you are an
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alcoholic, whether you
are a workaholic, whether you
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have porn addictions,
drug or alcoholism addictions
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whatever your coming out of it
is what all the underlying stuff
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You know because that is
what is going to trip you up.
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So now I'm going to
introduce you to a group that
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I've met while I was in Maine.
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I was doing a high school week
of prayer in Portland, Maine.
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I was asked to speak at
Teen Challenge which is,
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I love them I'm telling
you, this is a ministry that not
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only works with teams but
works with adults but keeps
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you until you get it,
you may never get out again.
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No it keeps you for a long time.
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But I want to introduce
you to Mylynda and Mylynda we
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met a few months ago,
maybe not even two months ago.
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Yeah it was two months ago.
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Okay and you were at
Teen Challenge. - yes.
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We are studying right
now on this season, we are
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studying on step four,
that fearless moral inventory.
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Have you ever really started
to look at your own stuff?
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Um, yeah I've looked at my
own stuff and like I'm pretty
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scared of it. Okay.
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For a lot of people even
step, they decide not to do
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this step because
it is scary to look at.
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But before we talk about
that with you let's talk about
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who are you? Where you
came from? And all that stuff.
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You look to me like an angel.
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Yeah I look like an angel
I'm trying to be like one but
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I really wasn't one before.
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So I grew up in a home
with both my mom and my dad.
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- where at? - in
New York City - okay.
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My dad and my mom were
Christians and they're a good
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happy family and
everybody looks at us.
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I never had people living
at my house there was just me,
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my mom and my dad.
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My dad was always constantly
verbally abusing my mom.
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- and you watched that,
I don't think they thought
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you watched them,
but you watched them.
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No they knew I
was watching them.
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I used to crawl underneath
my table which was like my
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secret spot and just to
get away from everything while
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they would be arguing and
all this violence in my house.
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And when I was eight years
old my dad cheated on my mom
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and they separated and
that really affected me bad but
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at the same time I was
happy because I knew no more
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arguing. - exactly, the
house wouldn't be so crazy.
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Yeah, I was always in the
middle of all their arguments.
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So when they
divorced I hadn't got to
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see my dad until
another two years.
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I had got pretty good grades
in school and I was okay with
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everything had innocent
friends and innocent fun.
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I was pretty humble, but I
was always out there crazy, but
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a good crazy. - like to
play, like to laugh? - yeah.
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I love laughing, so I got
to finally see my dad when
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I was 10 years old and I
had like not much problems,
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I was so happy to be with him,
I always been a daddy's girl.
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So when was 12 years old I
started hanging out with the
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wrong crowd. -
why, what happened?
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Because it sounded
like until then it was like?
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It's just like my mom always
try to warn me about drugs,
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alcohol and never to try it,
if you try it your hooked on it.
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I never believed her, I'm
like alright nothing looks mean.
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Still innocent, so I got into
a group of friends that were
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just having fun with their
life but not my type of fun.
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But I found their fun like
drinking, using drugs, having
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fun and going out
every night having fun.
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So I told my mom about them
and my mom didn't agree with
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them, but she was like I
know my daughter she would never
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do this because I
explained to her all the things.
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But while my mom and my dad
broke up it was like my mom,
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they were married for 24
years, so she felt like out of
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a cage like she
could do and have fun.
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So she went kind of wild?
- yeah she went kind of wild
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and plus my dad
was around to watch me.
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So my mom would leave me
at her best friend's house
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and I hated it there.
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So I felt like my mom
whatever she wants to get away
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she would just leave me
there and come back whenever
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she wanted, or whatever
and I just hated it there.
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So I felt like I wasn't
much cared for, like of course
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she would be there for me
but I don't know how to explain
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it. - well I got a great
picture is that everything
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you thought of, your dads
gone but it's going to be okay
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not realizing that now mom
is gone too, but she is gone
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for different reason.
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She is just partying and
saying I want to have fun.
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- yeah. - yeah. - so I
started to do my own thing.
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I started hanging out with
that crowd and then when I was
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12 years old and a half I
started being with my dad more
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at his house.
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I started getting close to
him but then again he had a
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girlfriend that he constantly
abused, physically abused
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and verbally abused. - so you
are watching it all over again?
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Yeah, and at the same
time my little sister and
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my little brother was born.
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So I always have to
take care of them, so that
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was the only reason I
went to his house was to watch
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them to be with them
and have fun with them.
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I'm their sister and
I just hated that girl.
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So at 13 years old, on December
8, 2008- when you say 13 I'm
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thinking, and I know that it is
your life so you don't feel like
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that, so 13 is a baby.
Have you ever looked at a 13-
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year-old and think I was
doing that at 13 and she looks
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like the baby. - yeah,
it's like when you are in high
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school and you are in
tenth grade ninth-grade and look
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at eighth graders and they
look so baby, well again you
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were just there a year
before, so I know how you mean.
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But before December 8, 2008,
my mom was in the hospital with
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kidney stones, she
suffers with kidney stones.
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- I heard that is
really painful. - yeah.
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Yeah she says is like
worse than having a baby.
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She would rather have
a baby and I'm like wow.
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So I had to be with my
dad, and I don't really want to
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go because I hated the arguing
in the place, I want to just be
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with him but some
thing told me to go with him.
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So I went with him and
my brother offered to come
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pick me up instead of
staying there with my dad, some
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thing told me to turn it
down so I ended up with my dad.
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One day I was sleeping and
my dad's girlfriend, her name
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is Julie, she woke me up
she said Mylynda wake up,
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your dad is on the
floor, wake up, wake up.
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So I woke up and came to
the living room and found
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my dad dead on the
floor. - dead? - yeah!
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I didn't know how
to deal with this.
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- liked that shocked me
even just hearing it, it's like
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nothing, nothing
makes sense with that.
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And my dad always had
asthma and high blood pressure,
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but he was always one to
keep us strong and he would have
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a pump and it would
be over and done with.
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So I'm like it's okay, the
day before he really had bad
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asthma but I was like he was
going to be okay and that night
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he was gone, so I guess
he wasn't really that strong.
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She was just in complete
shock and me being so young
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I had to be the one to call
the cops, I had to be the one
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to do everything while she
was just in complete shock.
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So after that - well you
did, sounded like you did.
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- yeah I did it. - Did you
allow yourself to feel at all?
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Like what was happening
the fact that this is my dad?
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At the same time I was
in shock myself but I was
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working myself through it
and I was going with the flow
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whatever the cops told me
to say and do, I would do it.
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While she was just there, so at
the same time I'm so young and
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she is like 25 and my dad
was like 60 or something so
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that was a big age difference,
so she was really in shock.
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Even when they're on the phone
telling you is he breathing?
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Is he doing all that kind
of stuff, and you are the one
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that is checking
all that? - yeah. - wow.
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So my little sister and my
little brother came out to see
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what was happening and
they see their dad on the floor.
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So my little sister is like
my daddy's sleeping, its okay.
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She goes daddy isn't sleeping
he's dead, he's dead and
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I didn't know how to explain
so I had to plan my dad's
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funeral with my
mother and Julie.
00:10:51.43\00:10:54.30
That was really hard for
me, I missed school and every
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body found out about it
and plus going back to school
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was just so hard.
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So I had standards for myself
before my dad died, like even
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hanging out with the wrong
crowd I didn't let myself get
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to that point
where they were at.
00:11:09.61\00:11:11.67
I began getting angry, but not
much, because I didn't notice
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it do till now that I can see
why I really did this before.
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I used to smoke
cigarettes but not very often.
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A drink here and
there. - just to fit in?
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- Not enough to that
point I had to you know?
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- right. - so you
know after my dad died
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everything went like I didn't
care about anything at all.
00:11:29.36\00:11:32.77
I started using weed, started
smoking weed and drinking
00:11:32.81\00:11:36.49
and just everything, violent
and angry towards everyone
00:11:36.52\00:11:40.88
around me so in the summer
of 2009 I became an alcoholic.
00:11:40.91\00:11:45.75
How old were you? - I was
14, yeah and I started moving
00:11:45.79\00:11:50.59
up to bigger
crowds and older crowds.
00:11:50.63\00:11:53.63
So when you say alcoholic,
in my mind I'm thinking that
00:11:53.66\00:11:57.65
you had an awareness that
you had to drink, you had to be
00:11:57.68\00:12:01.68
high, that you could tell
when I didn't have this my body
00:12:01.72\00:12:05.58
couldn't kick in. - I felt
weak, I felt like I had to have
00:12:05.62\00:12:10.42
it and then so my mom wasn't
really aware of anything that
00:12:10.45\00:12:14.61
was going on much, but like she
knew something was wrong with
00:12:14.65\00:12:18.78
me and she couldn't
really figure it out.
00:12:18.81\00:12:22.83
So one day she drug tested
me when I came home and the
00:12:22.87\00:12:26.48
results didn't come back
in until a long time after.
00:12:26.51\00:12:30.05
By then I was so mixed up myself
I was lost, I didn't care,
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I thought I was okay, like
this is normal teenager life,
00:12:34.94\00:12:39.68
but it really wasn't. - right
because now you are drinking and
00:12:39.72\00:12:43.07
doing whatever? - yeah, so
I was hardly home and my mom
00:12:43.11\00:12:47.47
trusted me and she trusted her
daughter would not use drugs,
00:12:47.51\00:12:51.26
trusted her daughter to
not drink alcohol because that
00:12:51.30\00:12:54.29
was everything my mom taught me.
00:12:54.33\00:12:55.85
So she was really wrong
about that and the results came
00:12:55.89\00:12:59.74
back and she punished me
for two months, which I feel
00:12:59.78\00:13:03.59
that was worth it -
you're in the house. - yeah.
00:13:03.63\00:13:05.99
You're not going anywhere.
- not going anywhere, no
00:13:06.03\00:13:08.74
phone, no computer, no
nothing, no TV I'm stuck in the
00:13:08.78\00:13:11.46
house for two months.
00:13:11.49\00:13:12.83
She said a year but I hardly
thought that was going to happen
00:13:12.87\00:13:15.65
but it happened for two months.
00:13:15.68\00:13:17.07
Was her hope that somehow
she could get you disconnected
00:13:17.10\00:13:21.97
from whatever group
and clean out your body?
00:13:22.00\00:13:24.76
I don't really think that
was her purpose, her purpose
00:13:24.79\00:13:29.63
was to teach me not to do
it and by figuring that by
00:13:29.66\00:13:34.39
her punishing me it would
like just have me not do it
00:13:34.43\00:13:39.12
anymore. - okay.
00:13:39.15\00:13:40.29
Just to learn my lesson.
- because to me I would be
00:13:40.32\00:13:42.76
thinking it is a detox
and you are going to eat
00:13:42.80\00:13:45.17
watermelon and you're going
to have fruit and water and
00:13:45.21\00:13:48.44
I would think that you are
really going to start pumping
00:13:48.48\00:13:51.64
you with good healthy things but
hers was this is a punishment.
00:13:51.68\00:13:55.48
I want you to know that
what you did is not okay.
00:13:55.51\00:13:58.09
- yeah. So instead of
helping me I really thought from
00:13:58.13\00:14:01.50
the beginning, like I
always wanted to go and do what
00:14:01.54\00:14:05.07
ever I wanted to do and
by her having me in the house
00:14:05.10\00:14:08.54
it just made me want to
rebel when I actually got out of
00:14:08.58\00:14:11.82
the house, so whatever I
would do I would do it triple
00:14:11.86\00:14:15.04
times worse because I'm never,
home, I'm never outside. - right
00:14:15.07\00:14:19.29
So after she found out I started
having sex when I was 14 years
00:14:19.32\00:14:23.50
old, and she found out
and I ended up telling her
00:14:23.54\00:14:27.26
and she flipped
out about it a lot.
00:14:27.29\00:14:29.70
That's when she punched me
also the same time she found
00:14:29.74\00:14:33.75
out what my results
came back from my drug test.
00:14:33.79\00:14:36.37
So she like just freaked
out. - yeah, her little girl is
00:14:36.41\00:14:41.59
doing all of this, so she
was really like freaking out.
00:14:41.62\00:14:46.67
So in October I got off
punishment and she still didn't
00:14:46.70\00:14:51.71
trust me after
finding all these things out.
00:14:51.74\00:14:53.72
- because she's smart. -
she's a little more aware
00:14:53.76\00:14:57.60
of what her daughter was doing.
00:14:57.63\00:14:59.28
Even though that she
would love to be in denial she
00:14:59.31\00:15:01.59
couldn't. - yet she knew
she couldn't, not anymore.
00:15:01.63\00:15:04.32
She could not trust me, I
would tell them here and she
00:15:04.36\00:15:07.01
would catch me a lie
in a second, I'm not here
00:15:07.05\00:15:09.54
I'm over there.
00:15:09.57\00:15:10.54
So in October I started
really get into unhealthy
00:15:10.55\00:15:14.66
relationships and doing
whatever I wanted to do.
00:15:14.69\00:15:18.76
Can I ask you something
Mylynda because I know in my own
00:15:18.79\00:15:23.81
life the answer to this,
but in your life, when you
00:15:23.85\00:15:28.40
realized that now I can
lie at the drop of a hat.
00:15:28.43\00:15:32.92
I can play people, I can steal
from you, I can do all that
00:15:32.95\00:15:36.99
kind of stuff, did you ever
think at this point, not later
00:15:37.03\00:15:41.00
on in your recovery, but at this
point did you ever think I don't
00:15:41.03\00:15:43.73
know if I want
to be that person?
00:15:43.76\00:15:46.46
Um I always knew I was different
from others, like I still feel
00:15:46.49\00:15:53.10
like I'm different from others
and my mom every time I did
00:15:53.14\00:15:57.12
something wrong she would
be like you are not normal,
00:15:57.15\00:15:59.07
you are not a
really normal teenager.
00:15:59.10\00:16:00.89
And the point is I'm not a
normal teenager, I always saw
00:16:00.93\00:16:03.67
it different whether it
was a bad different or a good
00:16:03.71\00:16:06.90
different. So I always
knew there was good in me and
00:16:06.93\00:16:10.05
I wanted to be good, it just
I couldn't find where it was
00:16:10.09\00:16:13.86
and how to be it.
- You had lost it.
00:16:13.90\00:16:15.80
Yeah but I knew I had
potential I was just too lazy
00:16:15.83\00:16:19.62
and just wanted to
do what I wanted to do.
00:16:19.65\00:16:21.81
I didn't listen to
anybody. - so what happened?
00:16:21.84\00:16:24.92
So in October I got into an
unhealthy relationship where
00:16:24.95\00:16:29.34
I was physically abused
and I just felt like worthless.
00:16:29.37\00:16:33.73
Like I felt like
this is it, I'm hopeless.
00:16:33.76\00:16:37.29
I am here getting abused and
I see my mom was verbally abused
00:16:37.33\00:16:41.44
and I see my dad
hitting his girlfriends.
00:16:41.48\00:16:43.44
And now you're that?
That's what you hated - yeah.
00:16:43.48\00:16:46.43
I hate, I used to run from
it. I went under the table and
00:16:46.47\00:16:49.39
pretend nothing is happening.
00:16:49.42\00:16:51.00
I'm like in this
whole other world but now
00:16:51.03\00:16:53.84
I am living it so I
began to cut myself.
00:16:53.88\00:16:56.62
So what did cutting do
for people that don't know?
00:16:56.65\00:17:00.60
Well cutting now I look at
that and didn't do anything
00:17:00.64\00:17:04.56
for me, it just made it
worse and just may me more angry
00:17:04.60\00:17:08.10
and more just like I feel
it would take away the pain,
00:17:08.13\00:17:11.60
but in fact it just
brought more pain back then.
00:17:11.64\00:17:14.21
So I ran away also, a few
times while I was home just
00:17:14.24\00:17:19.24
to get away from my problems
and from my mom and it just
00:17:19.27\00:17:24.23
didn't work out
and left me emptier.
00:17:24.27\00:17:26.08
So in December of 2009, yeah
2009 I start hanging out with
00:17:26.11\00:17:31.29
the crowd from New Jersey
and they got me into cocaine,
00:17:31.32\00:17:36.46
I got myself into cocaine.
00:17:36.50\00:17:37.94
- right because we
really, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:37.98\00:17:41.53
So I got into cocaine and
that was like nobody really
00:17:41.57\00:17:45.39
knew about it, like my close
friends or people I used to
00:17:45.43\00:17:49.22
hang out with
just beside that crowd.
00:17:49.25\00:17:51.22
I felt embarrassed to tell
them, like how far I'd gone
00:17:51.26\00:17:54.97
and got into. - because they
would say really you're doing
00:17:55.00\00:17:58.51
Coke? - but then again
they are smoking weed and I look
00:17:58.54\00:18:02.37
at them like what, that's
cool nowadays but it really
00:18:02.40\00:18:06.97
isn't cool, so I started
using cocaine and just started
00:18:07.00\00:18:11.53
rebelling even more.
00:18:11.57\00:18:13.47
And my mom felt out of it,
like her daughter and not her
00:18:13.50\00:18:17.59
daughter and she started
punishing me more and more.
00:18:17.62\00:18:21.64
The more she would punish
me the more I would want to get
00:18:21.67\00:18:24.11
out. - because she didn't
know what else to do, she was
00:18:24.15\00:18:26.55
feeling like my only
recourse, the only thing
00:18:26.59\00:18:30.30
I could do is punish
you, but it wasn't working.
00:18:30.33\00:18:33.98
Yeah punishment for me I
felt wasn't working because like
00:18:34.01\00:18:37.51
it would make me
want to do even more.
00:18:37.54\00:18:39.86
It's like if you tell me sit
down, I just want to stand up.
00:18:39.90\00:18:43.81
So that spirit of rebellion
gets in us, I don't think people
00:18:43.85\00:18:48.64
realize how strong that is,
that is I am angry and I'm going
00:18:48.67\00:18:52.57
to do the opposite of everything
you say and I'm going to smile.
00:18:52.60\00:18:56.47
Um hmmm, and I always wanted
to love from a guy the way my
00:18:56.50\00:19:01.66
dad would give it to
me. - but dad wasn't around.
00:19:01.69\00:19:05.67
Dad wasn't around, like
my mom had her fiancé now and
00:19:05.70\00:19:09.06
he has been in my life since
eight years old after my mom
00:19:09.09\00:19:12.33
and dad broke up. At first
out I was like I didn't really
00:19:12.37\00:19:15.57
like him, but I
love him to death now.
00:19:15.60\00:19:17.72
I just wanted that
attention from a guy still.
00:19:17.75\00:19:21.64
So I never really found
it much, I can say that now.
00:19:21.68\00:19:26.26
Right, so with all of this
what got you in a place where
00:19:26.30\00:19:30.84
all of a sudden, what
got you to Teen Challenge?
00:19:30.88\00:19:34.37
And did you ever come to
a place where you are saying
00:19:34.40\00:19:39.06
I think I get it, I think
I'm coming back to myself?
00:19:39.09\00:19:44.45
Well in May of 2010 my mom
landed in the hospital with
00:19:44.48\00:19:48.84
almost kidney failure
and I decided to run away and
00:19:48.87\00:19:53.19
abandon her
there in the hospital.
00:19:53.23\00:19:55.12
That was my mom's reassurance
of her daughters needing
00:19:55.15\00:19:59.05
help so I came to
Teen Challenge on June 21.
00:19:59.08\00:20:02.88
Because if she is saying I
am in the hospital and sick
00:20:02.92\00:20:05.86
and you are not going to be
here that must mean that you
00:20:05.90\00:20:08.81
are really out
of control? - yeah.
00:20:08.84\00:20:10.33
- so they physically
brought you to Teen Challenge?
00:20:10.37\00:20:13.89
Did you fight it?
00:20:13.92\00:20:14.96
I was living with my brother for
a few months because mom didn't
00:20:15.00\00:20:19.02
know how to control me so
she figured Paul her brother
00:20:19.06\00:20:22.49
I could have a better type
of relationship with her and
00:20:22.53\00:20:26.40
help her, because he's a
guy and she knew I needed a guy,
00:20:26.44\00:20:30.28
- like a Father
figure. - like a Father figure.
00:20:30.32\00:20:33.10
Yeah that didn't work very much.
00:20:33.14\00:20:36.03
So on Father's Day I was at
my moms house and my mom told
00:20:36.06\00:20:40.81
me we were going to my
brothers house, so I thought
00:20:40.84\00:20:43.30
we were supposed to go to
my dad's cemetery and visit him
00:20:43.33\00:20:46.22
there but we ended up
going to my brothers house and
00:20:46.25\00:20:49.04
they told me there I was
walking into Teen Challenge
00:20:49.07\00:20:51.82
the next day and
I was like so mad.
00:20:51.86\00:20:58.61
I just didn't know how to
deal with it, so I left it
00:20:58.65\00:21:03.13
alone and said okay I'll go.
00:21:03.17\00:21:05.48
The next day they were
driving me to Massachusetts from
00:21:05.52\00:21:09.40
New York and we passed by
Six Flags in Springfield and
00:21:09.43\00:21:12.47
I thought this was a joke,
I thought they were taking me
00:21:12.50\00:21:15.47
to Six Flags instead. Yeah like
this is really going to be fun!
00:21:15.51\00:21:18.95
Yeah I'm like you
guys got it, I understand.
00:21:18.98\00:21:23.23
They were like know you
are really going so I went
00:21:23.27\00:21:26.13
Teen Challenge and the
first thing I saw was this sign
00:21:26.17\00:21:29.00
saying that we
believe in miracles.
00:21:29.03\00:21:30.32
I didn't think that
was going to happen to me,
00:21:30.35\00:21:33.29
I didn't believe a miracle
could happen in me because
00:21:33.32\00:21:36.07
I felt so hopeless
- hopeless in what?
00:21:36.10\00:21:39.49
Hopeless to my mom like she
punishes me, my mom tried so
00:21:39.53\00:21:43.01
hard and I don't think this
is going to work like my mom
00:21:43.05\00:21:46.24
has tried - like I'll
never be able to change? - yeah.
00:21:46.27\00:21:49.43
Like I'm stuck
in this is who I am.
00:21:49.47\00:21:51.00
As I said I want to
change, I just never felt like I
00:21:51.03\00:21:54.63
could change, so I became a
Christian a month after that.
00:21:54.66\00:22:00.04
- no way. - I always
knew there was a God.
00:22:00.08\00:22:03.69
- what happened, did the program
did they, did you go to church?
00:22:03.73\00:22:09.84
Did you have Bible
studies? - we went to church
00:22:09.87\00:22:12.02
on Sunday and we do a
chapel like three times a week.
00:22:12.05\00:22:16.02
They enforce God a lot
in us, they enforced it but
00:22:16.06\00:22:19.73
I wanted it - you wanted
it in your heart. - um hmmm.
00:22:19.76\00:22:23.40
I felt like I wanted to
know God, I wanted to have that
00:22:23.44\00:22:27.05
relationship that everybody
here has. - I love that
00:22:27.08\00:22:29.78
because that is the ultimate
Father, so that everything
00:22:29.81\00:22:32.79
you craved God is. - He
showed me His unconditional love
00:22:32.82\00:22:35.77
God the Father
which I always wanted
00:22:35.80\00:22:38.14
I wanted to feel at peace
with Him and I finally found it.
00:22:38.18\00:22:43.71
Yeah I was actually on my
bed that night on July 14 and
00:22:43.74\00:22:48.37
I just cried out to God and
let Him know everything I did
00:22:48.40\00:22:52.39
and what I wanted and I felt
like He could give it to me.
00:22:52.42\00:22:56.37
So I gave myself to Him.
00:22:56.41\00:22:57.90
- Amen, what changes, like
did you notice changes that
00:22:57.93\00:23:02.50
happened within you?
00:23:02.54\00:23:03.87
I didn't want those
things I had before anymore.
00:23:03.91\00:23:08.09
Like at the time while
doing those things I felt like
00:23:08.13\00:23:11.29
I needed alcohol or I
needed a relationships, guys,
00:23:11.33\00:23:14.42
drugs, all these things and
I just don't want it anymore.
00:23:14.45\00:23:18.52
I just don't. - so you
know of a lot of people that
00:23:18.55\00:23:21.21
have not met God, or that
has some kind of understanding
00:23:21.24\00:23:25.60
with God but on a head level.
00:23:25.63\00:23:29.66
They don't realize when
God says I will change your
00:23:29.70\00:23:32.93
desires, and when the Bible
says I will change your very
00:23:32.96\00:23:36.21
desires, we think is
that really how You do it,
00:23:36.24\00:23:39.06
and it is isn't it? -
hmmm, and when I was younger and
00:23:39.09\00:23:41.68
my mom always told me
that she wanted to be my best
00:23:41.72\00:23:44.65
friend when I am older,
and when I got to the point or
00:23:44.69\00:23:47.82
my problems start kicking in,
like I tried going to her with
00:23:47.86\00:23:50.68
minor problems and I realized
she couldn't handle them like
00:23:50.72\00:23:54.51
she would end up punishing me,
so I knew she couldn't handle
00:23:54.54\00:23:58.30
my bigger problems? I
could imagine how she would
00:23:58.33\00:24:00.56
react to them.
00:24:00.60\00:24:01.96
So now like me and her
are talking a lot more and
00:24:02.00\00:24:04.74
she is actually becoming
that type of mother that
00:24:04.77\00:24:07.73
I always wanted. - that's
awesome. - I know sometimes
00:24:07.77\00:24:10.90
I might be a little hard
on her, but I know she does
00:24:10.94\00:24:14.02
everything that is best
for me. - exactly, you can love
00:24:14.05\00:24:16.85
her and understand what
she is trying to do anyway.
00:24:16.88\00:24:19.49
And she's putting the
effort in to try to understand
00:24:19.53\00:24:22.06
her daughter as well, because
I never felt like she could
00:24:22.10\00:24:25.20
understand me, but now we
are trying to understand each
00:24:25.24\00:24:28.45
other and He is just healing
me and my relationship with
00:24:28.49\00:24:32.12
her and with my family and
helping me to depend on Him and
00:24:32.16\00:24:35.09
not drugs. - how long have
you been in Teen Challenge?
00:24:35.13\00:24:37.64
I have been in Teen Challenge,
it is going to be nine
00:24:37.67\00:24:41.56
months, it's been so far
along party, but I still have
00:24:41.60\00:24:45.46
a long way to go.
00:24:45.50\00:24:46.84
So you are not planning on
getting out any time real soon?
00:24:46.87\00:24:50.10
I always felt like when I
first walked in that my mom was
00:24:50.13\00:24:53.32
going to miss me
because now she is home alone,
00:24:53.35\00:24:54.90
she doesn't
live with her fiancé.
00:24:54.93\00:24:57.23
She's all alone and I
know she's going to need me and
00:24:57.26\00:25:01.21
she's going to come and give
me any day now, but that day,
00:25:01.25\00:25:03.67
I used to look out the
window because I had this top
00:25:03.70\00:25:06.64
bunk so I would look out
the window waiting for my mom's
00:25:06.68\00:25:09.26
car to come up the driveway,
- because she needs me.
00:25:09.29\00:25:11.89
- because she needs me and
I've been here for 9 months
00:25:11.93\00:25:14.57
and she hasn't came and
I'm not expecting her to come.
00:25:14.60\00:25:17.20
What she really needs
is for you to get well.
00:25:17.24\00:25:19.62
She wants me to get well,
and even if she told me do
00:25:19.66\00:25:22.75
you want to come home,
I don't want to come home,
00:25:22.78\00:25:25.80
I want to finish this for the
first time. - that's amazing.
00:25:25.84\00:25:29.74
I want to thank you for
sharing that, your journey with
00:25:29.78\00:25:33.68
us and I know that you are
not done but my prayer for you
00:25:33.71\00:25:37.19
and what you had said when
I met you at Teen Challenge is
00:25:37.22\00:25:40.66
that you really see
yourself someday even going into
00:25:40.70\00:25:43.71
ministry? - yeah, I want
to help others because I know
00:25:43.74\00:25:46.56
there's billions and billions
of people out there with
00:25:46.60\00:25:50.17
something that I struggled
with and by the testimony God
00:25:50.20\00:25:53.73
has given me and the
love that He is shown me
00:25:53.77\00:25:55.80
I can help others to
bring them towards Him.
00:25:55.83\00:25:57.79
- that's incredible, that's
incredible and we are going
00:25:57.83\00:26:00.40
to go ahead and take a break.
00:26:00.44\00:26:01.53
When we take a break I
want to introduce you to one of
00:26:01.57\00:26:04.46
the other girls that are
in Teen Challenge that I met
00:26:04.49\00:26:08.52
when I was out there and
I just love the journeys,
00:26:08.55\00:26:13.03
I love these girls, I
love from where, I love God and
00:26:13.06\00:26:17.47
I love the fact that He can
pull us out of all this stuff.
00:26:17.51\00:26:19.65
So stay with us,
we will be right back.
00:26:19.68\00:26:20.92
And I will
introduce you to Megan.
00:26:20.96\00:26:23.83