Welcome back, one of my
favorite text, and it was my
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favorite in my own recovery,
but its Jeremiah 29:11.
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It says, "that for I
know the plans I have for you,
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"plans to prosper
you, to bring you hope"
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and all that stuff.
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I just love the way that whole
text talks about, not plans
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of evil, but plans of
good and all that stuff.
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I grabbed hold of that,
but when you go down to 13, it
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says, "when you seek Me
with all of your heart, you will
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"find Me", and I never under-
stood that in the first part
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of my recovery, I
understand it more now.
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It's when I fell in love
with God, then all of a sudden
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everything changed, when
it stopped being that somebody
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was trying to teach me about
recovery, or teach me about
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God, but when I
actually started having
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a relationship that it all
became real, it all changed
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and my whole life changed.
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For the kids at Teen Challenge,
or anybody in recovery
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that is our prayer for
you is that you seek God with
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all of your heart, and
if you do He will be found.
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I'm going to introduce
you to Nichole, and Nicole
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I want to say I came out
to Teen Challenge and was your
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Speaker, how long ago
was that, do you remember?
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A month and a half. -
not long ago we were there.
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And I was nervous
but I loved coming out.
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It was just amazing and I
knew that I had come out and
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get to speak with all of you.
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There was how
many in the House? - 9.
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Nine kids in the house,
nine girls and I got one hour.
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You know, I think I went
over, because I like to talk.
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But I got one hour, in one
hour to just say to you what
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ever you do fight
for your recovery.
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Whatever you do grab hold
of this and let God change
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your life, and I desperately
wanted that message to come
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across, I don't know if it did.
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It did! - good, and so
now I remember when I was done
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and I turned around and I
said I would be so honored,
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I asked who going to get
into ministry, who is going
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to be able to, does
anybody see themselves as going
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through this whole program
and doing maybe what I do,
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helping someone else?
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You raised your hand. -
I want to go to different
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countries and share what
God's done in my life and help
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other people know
God who don't know God.
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You felt that
strong? - yeah. - yeah.
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When you raised your hand
the only thing I could think of
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is you got to come out
and just hang out with us on
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the set, do the program.
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And so I said that, everybody
looked like, yeah we'll do that
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and so I'm so glad you are here.
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So now before we even talk
about your recovery, where did
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you come from and who are you?
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Like what took
you to Teen Challenge?
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Well growing up my
parents were Christians.
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They worked hard to provide
a life for me and my younger
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brother, but as they
worked I felt like work was more
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important, my mom was a
boss at her own physical
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therapist building. -
so she worked all the time.
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- all the time, and my dad
was a nurse in a jail at night.
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So. - and slept during
the day? - yeah, so I really
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didn't have parents around
too much when I was growing up.
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- people don't think about
that, because they think I am
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going to work and my kids
are going to have everything.
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But if they don't have
you they have nothing. - yeah.
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Yeah so that's real
clear with what you are saying?
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Yeah, and as I grew up my
dad tried to be there for me
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and my mom too, like I had
horseback riding lessons and
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I was active in sports but
I feel like the more I tried
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to get their attention and
get them to love me they would
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just push me away, like
work I need to do this for work.
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You're my way, work. -
tired? - they're tired and they
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need to sleep or they
are stressed out because
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they needed to get
something done for work.
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So I start hanging out
with older people and got into
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smoking weed, drinking,
sex when I was 12. - wow!
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So really young? - really young.
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Yeah and you know I was
pregnant by 12 and I remember
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telling you that and saying
that sometimes when you are
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so wanting adult attention,
the wrong adults will give
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it to you. - Um Hmmm,
and as I got their attention
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I didn't want to lose it
either so I wanted to gain all
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of their approvals since
I couldn't get my parents so
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I just went full force,
I just went with them and
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what they were doing.
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- whatever they were
doing was okay with you?
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Yeah, and I was walking into
middle school at that point.
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Because I failed a grade
before and I walked in wanting
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to find the crowd who
was into that bad stuff and
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I found it and I got a
bad reputation because of it.
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At 13 I was experimenting
with all different kinds of
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drugs with other people.
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You know for some people
don't realize what is in school.
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Because when you think
how bad can school get, talk
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about a little, and you
don't even have to talk about
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you a little bit,
just what is out there?
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Well in my school it's
actually like a decent school
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compared to where
I live in the area.
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But there are kids who
do sell drugs on our campus.
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We, before I came to Teen
Challenge, we had a drug search
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and there was I think 17
kids in our elementary center
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who got caught with drugs.
- in the elementary school?
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Yeah, and that's
first through fifth grade.
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And then we had 22 in middle
school and like 50 in high
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school, so. - because I
think for a lot of people they
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think if I don't know it,
then maybe it doesn't exist.
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And we're like no,
no, no educate yourself.
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Educate yourself because I
really believe that when you
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talk about that loneliness
of not having, raising yourself
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and not having any parents
around and all that stuff.
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There is a loneliness in
there and I'm going to fill it.
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When I find something that
works, I'm going to do it all
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the time, drugs and relation-
ships and sex and partying
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that just works and then
I'm going to be angry at you if
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you try to take it away from me.
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Oh yeah. - did you
deal with anger at all?
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Yeah, that was probably
one of the worst side effects
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of my drug use was anger
and violence, I liked to fight
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a lot. - because I'm
looking at you and I'm like
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shut up, no way,
look how sweet you are.
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But so Nicole, because I
know right now you're just
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looking so like a model,
you look like you could be
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on Seventeen Magazine,
if you know what I mean?
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But that is not who you
were and not the life you came
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from, so when you talk about
violence what was that like?
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I imagine if you and I were
friends and I made you angry
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I would have to watch
my back? - oh yeah, yeah.
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I was violent towards
anybody, I didn't care what age,
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well mostly my brother towards
younger kids, but I would
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also fight guys like
older than 22, I was a mess.
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I didn't want
anybody coming at me.
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You needed to
equalize the situation. - yeah.
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But most of my violence
was towards my parents too.
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I didn't have a problem
offending my parents at all.
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When you were violent toward
your parents, when you hit
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them, was there a sense of
hitting them or getting back
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at them for what
they didn't give you?
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Or was that just already
gone there is just anger at
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that point? - there was
just anger at that point.
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Okay - yeah. - so you are
out of control and I'm angry
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running away and doing
any of that kind of stuff?
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I wasn't really a runaway person
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- I like that, you can
leave? - yeah like I had
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nowhere to go so I didn't know
where I was going to run to,
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but I was like I
did sneak around a lot.
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My mom since she was working
all the time she would come
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home and fall asleep very
quickly, so I would just go
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out and she wouldn't even know.
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I would come back at four
o'clock in the morning and
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she wouldn't know
anything until she found out.
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Did you ever get into
like, and I don't want to say
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typical things because
they don't want to downplay like
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the cutting and
all that kind of stuff.
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Did you get into any of
that? I mean not other people
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yourself? - yeah, no not
as much like I never cut, cut.
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I wasn't wanting to hurt
myself, there was a point
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where I was very angry at
my mom and there was a fight
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that happened and I ran
down to my basement because
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my dad has work
tools down there.
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I grabbed one of his razor
big knife things and I held
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it up to my neck and I
was contemplating should I do
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it, but my little
brother ran down the stairs and
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he saw me holding that
and I saw him cry because he
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was my brother and I had
to drop it and just ran out
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the door because I
couldn't stay there.
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You saw the trauma in
his eyes? - yeah, yeah.
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Wow, so from that point,
because you are still in high
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school, like a sophomore
right? Sophomore, junior,
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senior. - because you are
taking all three courses at
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Teen Challenge so to me
you are still in high school.
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When did
somebody just say enough?
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Well I got into cocaine
and LSD, I kept it away from
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my true friends and people
who really cared about me.
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My parents obviously knew
that there was something wrong
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but I was getting
crazy. - especially on LSD,
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you just get crazy.
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You go running around and
around and thinking you can
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kill people, - you say
that so nicely, think you can
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kill people. - like I
really thought I could.
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- with your mind even. - yeah.
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So for a lot of people
that haven't been on LSD your
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hallucinogenics like
that, a lot of times you will
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just think that I can
control you with my mind.
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I can actually take
your life with my mind and
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it can get you so
twisted and so locked up.
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Were you doing movies and
video games at all that stuff?
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Not so much, I was more like,
well I did play video games
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sometimes, but not as
much like other people.
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Because I was going to say
sometimes with the violence
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and LSD is that you can
actually act out some of your
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fantasies, but it
sounds like you didn't have to.
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You just had them
in your head? - yeah.
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That is a lot of anger. - yeah.
00:11:06.09\00:11:09.20
I really like my anger
was towards my parents not
00:11:09.24\00:11:13.36
caring about me, but as
soon as my parents started
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noticing like that
something was wrong with her,
00:11:16.87\00:11:20.23
they wanted to care about
me but at that point I was so
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angry that they didn't
care about me before, or I felt
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like they didn't, but I
did want them to care about me
00:11:25.64\00:11:28.20
so I was angry that
they were caring now.
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Don't touch me now? -
yeah. - it's done. - um hmmm.
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It's too late. - yeah.
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So I can imagine that, so
now you are doing LSD and coke.
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Did you ever get arrested?
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I had a couple of
run-ins with the cops, nothing
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serious, I got a lot of
citations but I paid them off
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before, so it
wasn't bad with the cops.
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So were you going to
church during that time at all?
00:11:53.82\00:11:56.34
Um, my parents, I kind of
stopped going to church with
00:11:56.37\00:11:59.10
them when they brought me
to church they were embarrassed
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because I would sit in
the back and fall asleep or
00:12:01.86\00:12:06.00
like make a jerk out of myself.
00:12:06.03\00:12:08.23
- make fun of people? - Oh yeah.
00:12:08.26\00:12:10.39
Laugh at what was being
said. - talk really loud.
00:12:10.42\00:12:13.78
So they didn't force
you to come anymore? - no.
00:12:13.82\00:12:17.11
So who intervened, who came
in and said you know enough?
00:12:17.14\00:12:22.84
Well it happen when I was
getting involved with a guy
00:12:22.87\00:12:28.50
I was on and off with in seventh
grade, and he had his own
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addiction problems with
steroid use and that kind
00:12:32.49\00:12:35.78
of makes you angry too.
00:12:35.82\00:12:38.56
So it was a bad couple, we
got in a lot of fights together
00:12:38.59\00:12:43.68
and whatever but my
mom didn't like him.
00:12:43.72\00:12:46.52
He proposed to me when I
was 16 and I said yes because
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that was okay and I
thought I really loved him.
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My mom found out like
everything from the Internet
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because I was kind of
getting My Space and Face Book
00:13:00.22\00:13:04.10
because of pictures and stuff.
00:13:04.13\00:13:06.40
- why would you get
famous on those two networks?
00:13:06.43\00:13:13.64
I have a lot of promiscuous
pictures and videos on the
00:13:13.68\00:13:17.25
Internet so people were
adding me because of them.
00:13:17.29\00:13:21.11
Okay, and that is another
way people really get lost
00:13:21.14\00:13:24.67
in that stuff. - Ah
hmmm. - and somebody will say
00:13:24.70\00:13:28.42
why do people do that?
It's like you know what I am
00:13:28.46\00:13:31.67
going to get some
attention, you are not going to
00:13:31.71\00:13:34.89
ignore me, I am
going to be out there.
00:13:34.93\00:13:36.72
And you find something
that works, our bodies work,
00:13:36.75\00:13:39.63
in our anger works and
all that kind of stuff.
00:13:39.67\00:13:41.89
So now people are literally
uploading videos and all that
00:13:41.93\00:13:46.74
stuff and your mom at that
point didn't know but starts to
00:13:46.78\00:13:51.56
find that stuff? -
yeah. - I bet she freaked out?
00:13:51.59\00:13:54.55
Yeah she freaked out, she
found out that I was sneaking
00:13:54.59\00:13:59.29
out with an older guy,
which was the fiancé person.
00:13:59.32\00:14:04.24
She threatened to call the
cops on him, but I threw the
00:14:04.28\00:14:09.16
phone so she didn't
do anything about it.
00:14:09.20\00:14:11.84
I started hitting her because
I didn't want like him to
00:14:11.88\00:14:15.65
get into trouble, I didn't
want to be in trouble so she.
00:14:15.68\00:14:19.42
- he was over 18? -
yeah and she knew there was
00:14:19.45\00:14:21.90
something wrong with
him and like me too because
00:14:21.94\00:14:25.59
she could see it, but my
dad didn't want to believe that
00:14:25.62\00:14:28.54
there was something wrong
with me because my parents
00:14:28.57\00:14:31.46
were never drug
addicts or alcoholics.
00:14:31.49\00:14:33.60
Like my mom was a straight
A student all through high
00:14:33.63\00:14:37.47
school and
college and everything.
00:14:37.50\00:14:39.23
So they didn't want to
believe that I was like that.
00:14:39.26\00:14:43.10
- right, because for them
it was like what happened?
00:14:43.14\00:14:46.05
- yeah. - how come we
didn't see any of this kind of
00:14:46.09\00:14:48.98
stuff? So they are trying
to stop you from seeing him?
00:14:49.01\00:14:51.87
When did they find
out the online stuff?
00:14:51.90\00:14:53.76
They found that out five days
before I came to Teen Challenge.
00:14:53.80\00:15:00.08
Okay they are just saying
enough we got to get some help.
00:15:00.12\00:15:03.95
Did they call everywhere?
00:15:03.98\00:15:05.85
How did they
find Teen Challenge?.
00:15:05.88\00:15:08.82
There was a Teen Challenge
head come to my church before
00:15:08.86\00:15:13.70
and I happened to be
there for one of them and it was
00:15:13.74\00:15:18.51
a boys home in Pennsylvania
that closed recently but my mom
00:15:18.55\00:15:23.95
was looking at it and
like getting information,
00:15:23.99\00:15:27.67
but I didn't
think it was for me.
00:15:27.70\00:15:29.04
Did you know that I
know that they are looking at
00:15:29.08\00:15:32.85
sending me here, I
know that is on their mind?
00:15:32.88\00:15:36.61
I had no idea.
- you had no idea?
00:15:36.65\00:15:39.10
It just blindsided you? -
will they told me three or
00:15:39.14\00:15:41.87
four days before I came and
I thought they were kidding,
00:15:41.90\00:15:44.14
I thought they were trying
to scare me out of everything
00:15:44.18\00:15:46.39
I was doing so I played it off.
00:15:46.42\00:15:49.06
Like okay, whatever, you
can send me away, big deal.
00:15:49.09\00:15:52.23
But they were kind of
serious. - yeah, yeah.
00:15:52.27\00:15:55.88
Now how did they get you there?
00:15:55.92\00:15:59.41
My dad woke me up at six
o'clock because I live in
00:15:59.44\00:16:03.87
Pennsylvania, and he was
like you are going to Teen
00:16:03.90\00:16:08.19
Challenge today, and
I was like no I'm not.
00:16:08.23\00:16:10.94
I had went out before
that night and was drinking and
00:16:10.98\00:16:15.24
whatever, my aunt was at
my house but like she let
00:16:15.28\00:16:19.69
me go out, - so you are
kind of hung over saying what?
00:16:19.73\00:16:23.37
I'm not going anywhere. -
my parents don't drink a lot
00:16:23.41\00:16:26.82
but they do have alcohol
in the house so it's not like
00:16:26.85\00:16:30.23
I can't get a hold of it.
00:16:30.27\00:16:31.73
There was a point where
they did lock up everything,
00:16:31.77\00:16:34.29
like prescriptions
and alcohol. - right.
00:16:34.33\00:16:38.25
So he says you are
going? The fight is on?
00:16:38.28\00:16:42.13
I was like I am not going
and my dad left the room because
00:16:42.17\00:16:46.42
he thought maybe she
needs to sleep a little bit.
00:16:46.46\00:16:48.57
So I decided to go into my
bathroom and lock myself in
00:16:48.60\00:16:52.20
there, I really didn't lock
the door because I wasn't in
00:16:52.24\00:16:55.80
the right state of
mind, but I thought I did.
00:16:55.83\00:16:58.50
So my dad was like
Nicole you need to come out now.
00:16:58.54\00:17:01.60
I was like no, you are
not going to make me leave.
00:17:01.63\00:17:04.66
So then he kind
of opened the door.
00:17:04.70\00:17:06.81
- you're like oh man! -
like I really thought he was
00:17:06.84\00:17:10.11
great it was like you
opened this door, how did you do
00:17:10.15\00:17:13.64
that? - because were you
on, had you taken some acid?
00:17:13.67\00:17:17.87
Oh no, not that time,
but I really felt like he was
00:17:17.90\00:17:22.06
- magic somehow, it's magical.
00:17:22.10\00:17:24.91
But he like came in and I
could see the pain in my dad's
00:17:24.95\00:17:29.38
face and he was crying, I
don't see my parents cry a lot
00:17:29.41\00:17:33.81
because they never cried
in front of us that much.
00:17:33.85\00:17:37.44
He was like you need to go
so you can either look like
00:17:37.47\00:17:41.03
a scrub and go or
you can take a shower.
00:17:41.07\00:17:43.50
I was like all right so I
took a shower and then my mom.
00:17:43.54\00:17:48.55
- you know what I think
is cool about you Nicole?
00:17:48.59\00:17:50.27
Even through all this craziness,
and all of this stuff,
00:17:50.31\00:17:53.59
is that you really do
love your family, you know what
00:17:53.63\00:17:56.55
I mean, you saw the pain
in your brothers face and the
00:17:56.59\00:17:59.49
trauma, you saw the pain
in your dad's eyes and it was
00:17:59.52\00:18:02.38
like underneath all of
that stuff that was what
00:18:02.42\00:18:05.71
you were looking for, does
somebody see me, - um hmmm!
00:18:05.75\00:18:09.19
That is awesome,
so you took a shower.
00:18:09.23\00:18:11.90
I took a shower
- out in the car?
00:18:11.93\00:18:14.09
Well my mom thought I was
going to run away at some point
00:18:14.12\00:18:16.80
between me walking out of
the door and me getting into the
00:18:16.83\00:18:20.06
car that was 2 feet away,
so she police escorted me into
00:18:20.10\00:18:23.88
my own car and then she
child locked the doors which was
00:18:23.91\00:18:27.40
really smart because I
don't know why but at the first
00:18:27.44\00:18:30.89
stop light I tried
to get out the car.
00:18:30.93\00:18:35.21
But I don't know where was
going to try to go or anything.
00:18:35.25\00:18:39.46
So five hours later, I didn't
know where was going because
00:18:39.49\00:18:43.85
they didn't tell me, but I
would wake up in between rides
00:18:43.88\00:18:48.11
and just be like well you
guys can turn around now because
00:18:48.14\00:18:52.34
I got the joke and I
wouldn't do anything again.
00:18:52.37\00:18:54.91
- I'm scared,
alright I'll be good.
00:18:54.95\00:18:57.09
Then I would fall asleep and
that I would wake up and just
00:18:57.13\00:19:00.09
start yelling at them, so
they were like you just need to
00:19:00.13\00:19:04.05
go and then five hours later
we drove up to Teen Challenge
00:19:04.08\00:19:07.97
and I got out of the
car and shook Apryl's hand.
00:19:08.00\00:19:11.34
So you get out of the car
and you go into Teen Challenge,
00:19:11.37\00:19:15.89
are you trying to
play it off like I'm okay?
00:19:15.92\00:19:18.92
Are you going in screaming?
People come in all kinds of
00:19:18.96\00:19:22.76
different ways, for you
what was it like to get there?
00:19:22.79\00:19:26.76
I was more of a like a
headstrong person, like if I'm
00:19:26.79\00:19:30.69
going to do this, I'm going
to take my own bags in and look
00:19:30.73\00:19:33.81
like I can handle myself, so
I did, I took my own bags in and
00:19:33.85\00:19:37.49
shook her hand and walked
in like there is no problem.
00:19:37.52\00:19:41.24
So okay I'm here, let's do this.
00:19:41.28\00:19:43.86
So now this is my favorite
part, the honeymoon period
00:19:43.89\00:19:48.78
doesn't last for a long time.
00:19:48.81\00:19:50.54
So what was that like
for you the first few days?
00:19:50.58\00:19:54.75
When did you decide that I
am actually going to do the
00:19:54.78\00:19:58.47
program? - Oh wow, my
first few days I really didn't
00:19:58.50\00:20:02.20
know what was going on,
like I really didn't, I hadn't
00:20:02.23\00:20:05.72
been to a rehab before
especially like Teen Challenge.
00:20:05.75\00:20:09.28
So I was like, I really
didn't know what the place was.
00:20:09.32\00:20:11.94
- you have a lot of
rules. - it's like this place is
00:20:11.97\00:20:14.56
crazy. - they took
your cell phone? - yeah.
00:20:14.60\00:20:17.95
I can't go online, no Face
Book, no My Space, no anything.
00:20:17.99\00:20:23.12
Because my mom told me they
had computers there and they
00:20:23.16\00:20:28.56
did when I came in for school
they use computers, but by
00:20:28.59\00:20:33.22
the time I was coming in
they used books so I got books
00:20:33.26\00:20:36.90
and I figured if they
gave me a computer I could hack
00:20:36.94\00:20:39.96
into that because I was
really good with technology.
00:20:39.99\00:20:43.20
But they didn't give me
that opportunity thank God.
00:20:43.23\00:20:46.37
Yeah, - but the first few
days I didn't like it of course.
00:20:46.41\00:20:50.98
When you wake up you do
what they tell you and I was one
00:20:51.01\00:20:54.75
of those people that
likes to wake up when I want to
00:20:54.79\00:20:58.49
and do what I want
to throughout the day.
00:20:58.53\00:21:00.40
- you did that most
of your life? - yeah.
00:21:00.43\00:21:02.24
You know I took care of
myself what do you mean get up
00:21:02.27\00:21:06.16
and make my bed?
- yeah. You know!
00:21:06.20\00:21:08.24
But I think I had a struggle
throughout the whole program
00:21:08.27\00:21:12.87
with leaving because I
just didn't want to stay there.
00:21:12.90\00:21:17.71
But I think the point where
I really knew I needed to stay
00:21:17.74\00:21:22.51
was 11 months into the
program. - 11 months. - yeah.
00:21:22.54\00:21:26.91
So that took a long time.
- yeah. - so what happened
00:21:26.94\00:21:31.04
that all of a sudden
you thought, okay I get it?
00:21:31.08\00:21:35.15
For one I know that the drugs
and alcohol leave our body,
00:21:37.30\00:21:39.55
do you know what I mean?
I start dealing with that.
00:21:39.59\00:21:42.35
During the program you
deal with your anger. - um hmmm.
00:21:42.38\00:21:45.11
So you have people
who are really helping
00:21:45.14\00:21:48.20
you to look at what was
underlying all that stuff.
00:21:48.24\00:21:52.90
Where is your
anger was coming from.
00:21:52.94\00:21:54.24
What is going on with
you. So that takes a process.
00:21:54.27\00:21:58.03
So during that first 11
months you are looking at a lot
00:21:58.07\00:22:01.95
of things besides going to
school and making friends and
00:22:01.99\00:22:05.84
reconnecting with
people, but what happened?
00:22:05.87\00:22:08.27
What do you think it looked
like when you finally said,
00:22:08.31\00:22:13.43
I think I'm going to do this?
00:22:13.46\00:22:16.10
I was on a home pass, and
when you hit 10 months you get
00:22:16.13\00:22:21.38
to go home every month
for five days to like kind of
00:22:21.41\00:22:24.72
get settled in
with your family again.
00:22:24.75\00:22:27.57
So I was on a home pass
and I told my parents in some
00:22:27.61\00:22:31.60
letters before that I don't
think I want to do this anymore.
00:22:31.64\00:22:34.18
But my parents were like,
they saw where I was and how
00:22:34.22\00:22:38.24
much I had changed and
they were like you're going to
00:22:38.27\00:22:42.26
do it no matter what.
00:22:42.29\00:22:43.56
But I thought maybe this time
I could change their mind and
00:22:43.59\00:22:46.45
I really thought. I
was sitting on the couch
00:22:46.49\00:22:50.01
- because they are feeling
like they're getting their
00:22:50.05\00:22:51.86
little girl back. - yeah.
00:22:51.90\00:22:53.50
- and that is what they want.
00:22:53.54\00:22:55.07
Yeah, so I was sitting on
the couch and I was explaining
00:22:55.11\00:22:59.12
my frustrations towards
the program and them and why
00:22:59.16\00:23:03.10
I should be able to leave
and where I would go and what
00:23:03.14\00:23:06.19
I would do for school and
I would have this all set.
00:23:06.22\00:23:09.20
But then my dad said, you
need to go pray about it because
00:23:09.24\00:23:14.00
I accepted Christ like my
fifth month in the program.
00:23:14.03\00:23:16.99
- what was that like?
00:23:17.02\00:23:19.96
I was at a youth rally with
all the girls and we just did
00:23:20.00\00:23:25.64
one of our dramas and a
guy came and spoke and he was
00:23:25.68\00:23:29.67
like if you feel you have
any burdens on you why don't
00:23:29.70\00:23:33.66
you come up to the front
and just let them all go?
00:23:33.70\00:23:37.16
I didn't want to go up at
first, but then another girl
00:23:37.19\00:23:40.62
pulled me and she was
like were going up together.
00:23:40.66\00:23:43.25
So we went up together
and I just started crying,
00:23:43.29\00:23:45.85
I had no idea why
I was crying at all.
00:23:45.89\00:23:48.06
And then a lady came over
and she started praying for me
00:23:48.09\00:23:51.06
and she said, yell out every-
thing you ever did in your
00:23:51.09\00:23:54.02
whole life and let God have it.
00:23:54.06\00:23:56.23
So I started screaming
like all this stuff, horrible
00:23:56.26\00:23:59.93
things, these kids around
me were probably looking at me
00:23:59.96\00:24:03.62
like I was crazy, but I
felt it all like one by one just
00:24:03.66\00:24:07.28
being pulled
right off of me. - Amen.
00:24:07.31\00:24:09.72
I felt like set free. -
because you know sometimes
00:24:09.75\00:24:13.13
we have to do that, we have to
say I can't carry this anymore.
00:24:13.17\00:24:16.39
Our heart becomes flesh again
and that is where the tears
00:24:16.42\00:24:19.60
just come flooding out. - Yeah!
00:24:19.64\00:24:21.09
I wish I had been there, I
would have just been praying
00:24:21.13\00:24:25.78
for you like crazy, you know.
00:24:25.81\00:24:28.34
So you accept Christ, does
your anger, because you threw
00:24:28.37\00:24:33.18
all that out, did that
change? Did you feel a change?
00:24:33.22\00:24:38.00
Yeah, in the program I
really didn't know why, I think
00:24:38.03\00:24:42.62
it's God's peace over me all the
whole time, but it wasn't like
00:24:42.65\00:24:45.68
I had any random
freak outs the whole time.
00:24:45.72\00:24:48.68
There was times well I would
yell at the staff but most of
00:24:48.71\00:24:53.36
the time I kept it in line
and it really surprised me too
00:24:53.40\00:24:58.01
now I look back and I was
here and I didn't like yell or
00:24:58.05\00:25:02.63
smash things at all.
00:25:02.66\00:25:03.92
So now 11 months, at about
11 months you decide you're
00:25:03.95\00:25:10.24
actually going to
do the program? - yeah.
00:25:10.28\00:25:12.72
I'm actually going to
change my life? - Um hmmm.
00:25:12.76\00:25:18.69
Woo hoo. I love that. So
from that point on what's
00:25:18.73\00:25:23.86
different? Well my home
pass thing happened and my dad
00:25:23.90\00:25:29.00
told me to go pray and
I went my room and found a
00:25:29.03\00:25:31.50
bracelet that says,
"never give up" on it.
00:25:31.54\00:25:33.42
Like I was just looking up
and saying this is really great
00:25:33.45\00:25:41.36
God, thanks for the
sign that I need to go back.
00:25:41.39\00:25:44.67
So I came back willingly,
like I knew that was God
00:25:44.71\00:25:47.96
telling me you
need to finish this.
00:25:47.99\00:25:49.39
Like finish something for
your life that you have never
00:25:49.43\00:25:52.10
finished anything before.
00:25:52.14\00:25:53.45
So I came back and I
still had struggles, because you
00:25:53.49\00:25:57.19
know there are times where
you do stupid things and get
00:25:57.23\00:26:00.89
consequences for them,
but I took responsibility
00:26:00.93\00:26:04.11
for it, my life just
throughout the whole program
00:26:04.15\00:26:10.03
has changed my way of thinking.
00:26:10.07\00:26:11.94
Like my way, like the love of
my parents, I thought my parents
00:26:11.98\00:26:16.14
wouldn't change while I was here
at all, but my parents totally
00:26:16.18\00:26:20.31
did a 360. - in what way? -
they show we so much attention
00:26:20.34\00:26:24.49
now. - so they got it,
they heard you? - yeah.
00:26:24.53\00:26:27.74
Every past they would listen
to me and sit there and cry
00:26:27.78\00:26:31.69
with me and I never
had that before so we are
00:26:31.73\00:26:34.38
closer, like my mom
is my best friend now.
00:26:34.42\00:26:37.01
That is incredible, so what's
really, and I want to just
00:26:37.04\00:26:42.29
say to people especially
when they have young kids,
00:26:42.32\00:26:45.10
because when you have your
children you know that they
00:26:45.13\00:26:47.87
need your time. Do you
know what I mean? - yeah.
00:26:47.91\00:26:49.84
You can work like crazy
but if you lose your children,
00:26:49.88\00:26:53.24
if you lose your family
what does work actually mean?
00:26:53.27\00:26:56.68
Because you think I'm
doing this for my family, no!
00:26:56.72\00:27:00.09
Your family wants
you, they need you.
00:27:00.13\00:27:02.45
So now you are getting that,
you really are getting that.
00:27:02.48\00:27:06.69
I'm hoping that thousands
of parents hear what we are
00:27:06.72\00:27:10.04
saying right now, thousands
of parents look at their
00:27:10.08\00:27:13.08
little kids and say when
is the last time I just sat on
00:27:13.11\00:27:16.07
the floor and played with them?
00:27:16.11\00:27:17.12
If they actually make
those choices where nobody feels
00:27:17.16\00:27:20.34
lost like you felt lost,
but now you are getting all of
00:27:20.38\00:27:23.89
that back, I bet they
are thrilled. - yeah. - yeah.
00:27:23.92\00:27:27.35
And I can tell you love
them and how is your brother
00:27:27.39\00:27:31.41
doing? - we were always
close even throughout my whole
00:27:31.45\00:27:35.43
drug use and
drinking and all that stuff.
00:27:35.47\00:27:38.18
He actually kind of saw some
of that when I was doing it.
00:27:38.22\00:27:41.72
But he understands now,
that he can't do that stuff.
00:27:41.76\00:27:45.95
- like he got it? -
yeah, he can't be like I was.
00:27:45.98\00:27:50.10
I am stronger now to the
point where I can sit down with
00:27:50.14\00:27:54.81
him and be like Noah you
need to be good, he was like my
00:27:54.84\00:27:59.48
best friend too
and I love him so much.
00:27:59.52\00:28:02.78
So you really got
your family back? - yeah.
00:28:02.81\00:28:05.18
I'm sure that even at Teen
Challenge you have learned to
00:28:05.22\00:28:09.69
do friendships without
drugs. - yeah. - without the
00:28:09.73\00:28:12.11
sexual stuff, without the
relationship, the twists in the
00:28:12.15\00:28:15.60
relationship. So when I
was at Teen Challenge and
00:28:15.64\00:28:20.95
I talked about is anybody
wanting to do ministry and
00:28:20.99\00:28:26.23
you raised your hand, is it
people that have anger issues
00:28:26.27\00:28:31.59
that you want to work with?
00:28:31.63\00:28:32.73
Or what kind of person do
you think I just want to help?
00:28:32.76\00:28:36.82
People with issues in
general, like I know we all have
00:28:36.85\00:28:40.50
our own issues, but just
anybody like I can help and
00:28:40.53\00:28:44.14
she'll love to or
anything like that.
00:28:44.18\00:28:46.34
Especially like children in
Africa who don't have parents,
00:28:46.37\00:28:50.22
I feel really called to do
that. - because they're totally
00:28:50.25\00:28:53.58
abandoned? - yeah, and
Israel I felt a calling to go to
00:28:53.61\00:28:56.90
Israel since my
second month in the program.
00:28:56.94\00:28:59.72
- let's go, no I'm serious.
You're like I don't know
00:28:59.76\00:29:06.58
that she might be serious.
00:29:06.61\00:29:08.33
I want to say thanks
for being on the program.
00:29:08.37\00:29:10.44
Next time you see us
we will be in Israel.
00:29:10.47\00:29:12.48
To me what I want you to
hear even with Nicole's story
00:29:12.51\00:29:17.94
is her journey into drugs
was that really need to be
00:29:17.97\00:29:22.53
loved, need to just fit in
and know that somebody sees her
00:29:22.57\00:29:26.93
and cares about her and
coming out of that her healing
00:29:26.96\00:29:31.29
is that somebody sees
and cares about her and she
00:29:31.32\00:29:34.00
gets her family back, she
gets her life back and now
00:29:34.03\00:29:36.45
she wants to tell
somebody else that. I love that.
00:29:36.48\00:29:38.89
We are going to be right
back, stay with us and I want
00:29:38.92\00:29:41.66
to bring Apryl. back with
us so she can say a few things
00:29:41.70\00:29:44.40
about even Nicole's
journey and maybe say
00:29:44.44\00:29:48.04
a few things to you.
00:29:48.07\00:29:49.04
So we will be
right back, stay with us!
00:29:49.05\00:29:50.76