Welcome back! We are
talking to Chris about her
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background and where she
has come from and the fact that
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she jumped into drugs, and
meth, and all that craziness.
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We laughed on the break
Chris and you were talking
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about that you have given
$2000 to somebody, the police
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were monitoring them, and now
they are at your door and you
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are being
arrested for trafficking.
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What happened? - right,
well they took me to jail.
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that's what they normally do.
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- like I'm
innocent, it wasn't me.
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I tried that and I found
out just how strong I was.
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I remember we used to all
surround at my dope dealers
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house and talk about who
would crack under pressure.
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I was like it will
never be me, well I cracked.
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It didn't take long at
all for that, but they took me
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to jail, they
took 25 of us to jail.
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It was a big arrest.
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Because they have been
watching everybody? - right.
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Right, and I realized
how bad of trouble I was in
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whenever I got put
in maximum security.
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That is where they put
federal offenders is in maximum
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security and one of the
women I was in there with was
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facing the death penalty.
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She came, they dressed as in red
jumpsuits for being federal and
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she came up to me and said
she was sorry for where I was
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at, oh you are federal, I
feel sorry for you is what she
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told me, and she was
facing the death penalty.
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I'm like, oh boy I'm in trouble.
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I am in trouble, and there
were several women there who
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were wearing red
jumpsuits and were also federal.
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They had been in there
for over two years awaiting
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sentencing, awaiting sentencing
and rumor had it through
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there that if you, and
they had been there two years so
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they ought to know, that
federal cases never walk out on
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bond, they just sit in there
and get sentenced and go to
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prison and I
was facing 10 years.
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On top of that I was
going through drug withdrawals.
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When somebody says, I thought
I wouldn't crack and all that
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stuff they don't take into
account that you are going to
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go through withdrawals
within a short period of time,
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within a day or two you
are going to be in so much pain
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because of the drugs
that you have been taking.
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It was about as bad of a
situation as you can possibly
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imagine - exactly. - and
by the second night in there,
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one of the other girls in
a red jumpsuit, another girl
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that was in there on federal
charges, her name is Angela.
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I've never seen her again,
she walked by me and she said
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if you think this is
bad you ought to see hell.
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That was it, every single
seed that had been planted in me
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all of a sudden went poof.
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Everything that my mom had
always told me and prayed over
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me for, and that my stepdad
had said to me, all of a sudden
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it was all there. It was
that one little flippant comment
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that she made and I believe
she was sent straight from the
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Lord to me, to minister to me.
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The place was so overcrowded
I didn't even have a bunk,
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I had a little plastic
thing, they call them boats that
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I was laying on the ground in.
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It was like a little
canoe thing and that was my bed.
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I got in there that night
and just prayed, called out
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Christ, I'm like I'm sorry
if You're there please help me.
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And I didn't feel, I
always hear people talking about
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their conversion experience,
and how the sky cracked open
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and the angels sang and
all the rest of that stuff.
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They were washed clean
and dipped into the blood.
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I didn't feel any of that,
I did not feel any different.
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- I'll come on - yeah and
I'm like, you know by this
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point I had been scared to
the altar is a teenager you
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know and had brushes
with the Lord but this time
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I meant it, but I was scared.
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It took me a while to
realize that that was the point
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where I had stopped craving
drugs, I wasn't having drug
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withdrawals anymore - so
He did answer you? - yes but
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I didn't realize it, it's
like I'm in this atmosphere.
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I called my mom the next
day and they had denied my
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getting out on bond that
day, I called my mom and figured
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I'd better tell her what
was going on because her my
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stepdad were getting ready
to make a trip to Florida and
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I figured they would be
showing up at my house and I'd
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be in jail and
that wouldn't be good.
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So I called my mom and my
stepdad answered the phone and
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I told him where I was at.
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I will never forget, he
said you know we love you.
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And that was all I needed
to hear, and my mom got on the
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phone and no looking
down on me - I told you so.
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Nothing, nothing other
than where are you and what can
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we do, what can we do to help?
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I was like I think maybe
prayer would be a good idea
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right now, so
they started praying.
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I just have to interrupt
right now because I'm in
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recovery ministry and
there are times where we will be
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working with somebody
and they are just stumbling
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around, and falling and
getting arrested at all that
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stuff and somebody says
Cheri isn't that discouraging
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when someone gets arrested?
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I'm thinking no, in fact that
is the safest place for them.
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They have those
moments, the Holy Spirit has an
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opportunity to speak and
get through to them and that
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is exactly what happened
to you is that God was finally
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able to say oh man,
do you think this is bad?
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If you continue you
will find out what bad is.
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And I remember sitting in
the back of the paddy wagon
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and being handcuffed and
everything and thinking my life
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it's over and I look back
on that now and it was so right
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my life was over, my life
as I knew it and my real life
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had just begun,
that was August 11, 2005.
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I got arrested on the 12th
and became a Christian, called
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my parents on that Saturday
and they started praying and
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on that Monday morning
they released me on Bond.
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Oh shut up, how funny
is that? That is amazing.
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That was. -
because it is unheard of.
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Well they didn't just let
me out, but he let all of us
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out, released on our own
recognizance and the jailers at
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the jail did know how to
out process federal offenders.
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They were scrambling around
saying this never happens,
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this never happens and
I knew, I knew it was God.
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I remember going home and
getting to my house, they had
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ransacked my house, but they
didn't trash it they didn't have
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a search warrant and I
told them where everything was.
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They left out my tray with
a straw on it and still some
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stuff on there and I
remember going up to it
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of course first instinct -
you want to snort it?- right!
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At least my finger in it
and I picked it up and put it
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in the trash can. No! I
knew that I needed a blessing.
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I knew I needed to Lord to
work in my life and they not
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only let me go out of jail
at that point but they let me
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go to Illinois to live
with my mom and my stepdad.
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So my stepdad - So
crossing state lines?
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Yes - that's another
unheard of. - yes it was all
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unheard of and my stepdad
came and loaded me up and
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moved me to Illinois as I
say to live with the family
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for a lifetime I
have been avoiding.
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I was suddenly living
with them and going to church.
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I remember I used
to drive home every
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Wednesday night from church
and I would argue with God
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and going, am I saved or not?
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I don't feel any different,
I'm not craving drugs mind
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you. - were you still
not realizing how miraculous
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that was? - not at all,
not at all I was so into me.
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We are so self focused
that it is just embarrassing.
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Oh it is. - I always
say it's close to 7 billion
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people in the world and
the only thing I could think
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about all day long is me.
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- me-me-me-me-me-me-me.
So it took almost a year
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before I got sentenced to
prison and I went before the
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judge and he gave me a
year, which compared to the
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10 years I was
facing was another miracle.
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Because I didn't know until
I got to prison that people
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actually got 10 years, I
thought it was like state they
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threaten you with 10 years
and let you out on probation.
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Know when the federal
government says 10 years
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they put you in for 10 years.
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They gave me a year and a
day, so I was walking out of
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the courtroom and I will
never forget that I heard,
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I still think it was an
audible voice in my ears,
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seeing you have
been praying to nothing.
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It was like at that point I
knew, I recognized the enemy.
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Like if there is an enemy
out there still messing with
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me, then that means they're
still a God out there and
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He is looking out for me.
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And I made a choice right
there that I was going to serve
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Him in spite of the fact
that I had to go to prison.
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Right, right now I can't
hear you, I don't recognize your
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voice, if you are talking
to me I don't recognize it yet.
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I had never heard His
voice until I got into prison.
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I remember that I had like
a month of self surrender and
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everybody would come up
and tell me Romans 8:28.
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"All things work together
for the best for those who
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love the Lord." And I
would go blah, blah, blah, blah,
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blah, you know this can't
work out for my best I'm going
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to prison and you
are crazy, God is crazy.
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How can this, and worse than
that is that they had a woman
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at my mom and dad's
church who had a similar story.
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She was in recovery and
she was going off to work for
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Joyce Meyer, and
everybody would get us mixed up.
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They would come up to me
and go over, here you are going
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off into ministry, I'd
go know I'm going to prison
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but thanks for asking.
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I was so consumed with jealousy
and fear and I went in and
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did my time in Lexington,
Kentucky Atwood. Quite a dump.
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But in there I met some
of the spiritual giants of my
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life and I
learned lessons in there.
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I think one of the biggest
lessons is where I started
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learning that
God loves me. - Amen!
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You know not just Jesus
kind of likes me and that He
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purchased my
salvation with blood.
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So he could
tolerate you? - right!
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I always thought that I
would have to hide behind Jesus
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when I got to heaven because
God would be really angry
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and would be like this you know.
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That is where I
discovered that He likes me.
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Now of course I know He
loves me and He always loved me.
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- He's crazy about you. -
though He's delighted in me
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from day one, he stitched
me together in my mother's
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womb and I have gifts
and everything and He always
00:10:06.08\00:10:08.39
had His eye on me.
00:10:08.42\00:10:09.71
Yeah the nine months
inside - I gotta just say, Jesus
00:10:09.74\00:10:13.31
really knew that was
important to you because He said
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I want you to know that
the Father loves you. - yes.
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He really
wanted us to know that.
00:10:19.74\00:10:21.56
Oh He made a point to where
somebody walked up and gave me
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a book and said they felt
the Lord wanted me to read that
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about when the father ran,
the prodigal and the heart of
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the father towards the prodigal.
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I knew that that was God
trying to tell me how He felt
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about me and I did
my time and got out.
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The whole time I was in
there, this is the crux of the
00:10:42.42\00:10:46.15
matter, the whole time was
in there everybody inside you
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just despair of having
any life on the outside.
00:10:49.92\00:10:51.62
It's like I figured I was
either going to come out and
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work, well if I was
lucky Wal-Mart. - yeah!
00:10:55.61\00:10:58.25
Probably cleaning somewhere
and here I had a degree in
00:10:58.29\00:11:01.43
and everything else and I
wouldn't never be able to use it
00:11:01.47\00:11:04.58
- never get a job
again. - right, never have
00:11:04.61\00:11:06.96
a future, I'm just
going to have to settle.
00:11:06.99\00:11:09.26
A federal offense. -
right, 500 gram trafficking and
00:11:09.30\00:11:12.12
distributing and no
one will hire me with that.
00:11:12.16\00:11:14.36
I came out and was believing
that and my first job was
00:11:14.39\00:11:19.89
cleaning hotel rooms, and
I'm pushing around my cart
00:11:19.93\00:11:24.65
and cleaning rooms trying
to do it as unto the Lord,
00:11:24.68\00:11:29.24
which isn't easy. He taught
me so many lessons in that
00:11:29.28\00:11:33.73
job though, but I think
after I passed whatever test
00:11:33.76\00:11:38.18
I had to, I call
them my wilderness period.
00:11:38.21\00:11:40.41
Because that was tough, we
walk so close together in prison
00:11:40.44\00:11:43.80
that I could feel Him all
around me and He held me up and
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I get out and it's like Whoosh.
00:11:47.19\00:11:49.16
There I am shoving my
cart, cleaning hotel rooms and
00:11:49.20\00:11:52.98
I met a guest in the hallway
and she told me that her son
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was in prison on
federal meth charges.
00:11:57.96\00:12:00.87
I felt like the Lord
told me to tell her my story.
00:12:00.91\00:12:04.24
So I sat and told her
where I had been and what
00:12:04.28\00:12:07.58
I had done and how
it was on the inside.
00:12:07.62\00:12:09.09
She said he was a Christian,
I say God needs bright lights
00:12:09.12\00:12:13.45
inside of a dark place.
00:12:13.48\00:12:14.92
Then she started
telling me that he had received
00:12:14.95\00:12:17.29
counseling, drug counseling
at a place in town called
00:12:17.32\00:12:21.56
Caring Counseling Ministries
that did Bible-based drug
00:12:21.60\00:12:25.80
counseling and it was
like at that moment I knew.
00:12:25.84\00:12:28.43
I never even heard of
the place before, but I knew
00:12:28.47\00:12:31.03
that is where I
wanted to work. - Amen!
00:12:31.06\00:12:32.82
Bible based drug counseling
yes Lord I know this is
00:12:32.86\00:12:35.83
what You want for
me. - I can do that.
00:12:35.87\00:12:37.54
Yeah I can do that. So
my mom and dad, my stepdad,
00:12:37.58\00:12:42.35
my dad had wanted to send
me back to school to complete
00:12:42.39\00:12:46.12
my masters degree and I went
into the social work program
00:12:46.15\00:12:49.85
for counseling and ran
over to Caring Counseling
00:12:49.88\00:12:53.64
Ministries and just busted
in my boss's office and said,
00:12:53.68\00:12:57.71
hi, here I am. - I'm
ready to work. - yeah I'm a
00:12:57.75\00:13:02.03
recovering meth addict who
has been in prison, hire me for
00:13:02.06\00:13:04.35
an intern position, at
first he was like oh no.
00:13:04.39\00:13:07.60
That he was like okay, yeah.
00:13:07.64\00:13:09.17
He hired me not because
or despite what I'd done,
00:13:09.20\00:13:14.33
but because of it.
00:13:14.37\00:13:15.60
He heard my story and it
was like I can use this so that
00:13:15.63\00:13:17.75
is what I want to tell
people whenever they are on the
00:13:17.79\00:13:19.95
inside is that you don't have
to hide where you have been,
00:13:19.99\00:13:22.11
God uses us and all things
work together for the good
00:13:22.15\00:13:25.47
when we love the
Lord, all things.
00:13:25.50\00:13:27.19
This has been the cornerstone
of my ministry, he hired me
00:13:27.22\00:13:30.92
while everybody else was
scrambling around looking for
00:13:30.96\00:13:33.93
employment and I never
had to leave my intern place.
00:13:33.96\00:13:37.24
He put me in charge of
starting a drug and alcohol
00:13:37.28\00:13:40.49
recovery program, and through
two years of staying there
00:13:40.52\00:13:44.00
through school, he hired
me afterwards and I never had
00:13:44.03\00:13:47.35
to fill out a job application,
never had to job hunt!
00:13:47.39\00:13:52.11
Never! And the place is
amazing, he is amazing, Kent.
00:13:52.14\00:13:56.66
He never looked at any
of the problems I had in the
00:13:56.69\00:14:01.14
past, not anything but a
stepping stone into helping and
00:14:01.17\00:14:04.01
reaching into
people's lives. - Amen!
00:14:04.05\00:14:06.36
Here we are in is very conserv-
ative community and he has
00:14:06.39\00:14:09.32
got this amazing
counseling organization.
00:14:09.36\00:14:11.84
So let's stop right now
because I know that there is
00:14:11.88\00:14:15.33
people in the café that
has gone through that program
00:14:15.37\00:14:18.16
also, also has gone through
Teen Challenge which is one
00:14:18.20\00:14:21.82
of my favorite programs
and I just want to ask Andrew.
00:14:21.86\00:14:26.51
Say a little bit about
where you come from and I just
00:14:26.54\00:14:30.14
want to say I'm so proud
of you, I'm proud of your
00:14:30.18\00:14:33.09
recovery, and Chris
I'm proud of your recovery.
00:14:33.13\00:14:35.97
- I'm proud of God for my
recovery. - exactly, exactly.
00:14:36.01\00:14:38.59
- no credit to me. -
what do you think about what
00:14:38.63\00:14:41.07
she is saying and tell us a
little bit about your story.
00:14:41.11\00:14:44.18
First of all I just want
to say how thankful I am for
00:14:44.21\00:14:46.72
being here, being on the
set with everybody, being with
00:14:46.76\00:14:49.83
3ABN, and just be able to
sit here and talk about the
00:14:49.87\00:14:52.66
wonderful things God has
done in my life, and Chris's
00:14:52.70\00:14:56.74
life, you've been in
recovery for about six months,
00:14:56.78\00:14:59.85
eight months? - I've
been clean for eight months.
00:14:59.88\00:15:02.84
Yeah, I've actually went
to a program up in Peoria,
00:15:02.88\00:15:05.81
Peoria,
Illinois, Teen Challenge.
00:15:05.84\00:15:08.01
I learned up there it
wasn't a drug addiction I had it
00:15:08.05\00:15:11.85
was I lack of a relationship
with Jesus Christ. - Amen!
00:15:11.88\00:15:15.87
While in there and learned
how to pray, I learned how to
00:15:15.90\00:15:19.85
talk to God, I learned
how to be intimate with God,
00:15:19.89\00:15:22.60
to be open with God and
to be able to rely on God.
00:15:22.64\00:15:25.82
Just to turn everything
in my life over to God.
00:15:25.85\00:15:29.04
I learned that my
family was a blessing from God.
00:15:29.08\00:15:32.23
I've learned a lot. - you
have, La Donna and Andrew and
00:15:34.87\00:15:39.61
your relationship you
were not a co-addict with him,
00:15:39.65\00:15:44.36
were you? - no. - you
have two children so that
00:15:44.40\00:15:48.89
has to be hard, it had to
be hard for you to walk it.
00:15:48.93\00:15:51.64
Help him to walk through
his addiction, and for you
00:15:51.67\00:15:54.35
you were just wanting
to hang on to him and say
00:15:54.38\00:15:56.94
please get clean. - yes
I wanted to hang onto him,
00:15:56.97\00:15:59.46
just praying he would get
clean and then trying to live
00:15:59.50\00:16:02.81
the day every day life,
I was a preschool teacher.
00:16:02.85\00:16:06.08
Having my children and
having our family just like
00:16:06.11\00:16:09.81
a daily shame of what we
was living secretly at home,
00:16:09.85\00:16:13.72
with his addiction. -
wow, so you have been clean
00:16:13.75\00:16:17.59
for a while, went
through Teen Challenge.
00:16:17.62\00:16:19.90
Did you go through
the program with Chris?
00:16:19.94\00:16:22.15
Did you see her at all? -
I didn't get to go through
00:16:22.19\00:16:25.75
the program. - like the
ministry that they have.
00:16:25.79\00:16:29.28
No but I have joined
their counseling program and I'm
00:16:29.31\00:16:33.67
going to counseling with
Chris, I met with Chris a
00:16:33.70\00:16:37.99
couple times now and she
is very spiritual, filled full
00:16:38.02\00:16:40.96
of knowledge and I look
forward to spending a lot more
00:16:41.00\00:16:43.95
time counseling and
getting to the depth of what our
00:16:43.99\00:16:46.91
problems were in life
and healing from there.
00:16:46.95\00:16:50.32
Okay besides the drug addiction,
and I would like to ask
00:16:50.35\00:16:54.07
Chris about this too,
so you have to be honest.
00:16:54.10\00:16:55.64
Beside the drug addiction
you're talking that you have to
00:16:55.68\00:16:58.80
learn about anger, you have
to learn about being a father
00:16:58.84\00:17:01.93
and a husband, you have
to learn not to run during
00:17:01.96\00:17:04.39
conflicts and all
that kind of stuff.
00:17:04.42\00:17:06.22
It is not just that I
have to stop using. - no.
00:17:06.25\00:17:08.83
Well I think one of my
biggest things I have working on
00:17:08.87\00:17:12.61
right now is solely depending
on the Lord for everything
00:17:12.64\00:17:16.09
in life, just to look to
Him for those things and not
00:17:16.12\00:17:19.19
get back into the old pattern
of thinking I had to be the
00:17:19.22\00:17:22.26
one that goes out and provides.
00:17:22.29\00:17:24.53
I have to be the one that
does that, I have to learn
00:17:24.57\00:17:26.75
to look to the
Lord for those things.
00:17:26.79\00:17:28.62
And Him to be faithful.
- and He will be faithful.
00:17:28.66\00:17:32.17
I like that, so when you
first met, thank you Andrew.
00:17:32.20\00:17:36.92
When you first met Andrew
in counseling, you know what
00:17:36.96\00:17:40.22
he is going through because
you have been through it.
00:17:40.25\00:17:43.70
Right, am I allowed to
speak confidentiality. - sure.
00:17:43.74\00:17:47.15
You're so telling on
him. - It's all right.
00:17:47.18\00:17:50.80
- Just so I don't get sued.
00:17:50.84\00:17:53.68
Yeah I have absolutely been
there and I understand there's
00:17:53.71\00:17:58.54
tests and things we have
pass while we are on this road
00:17:58.57\00:18:03.36
of recovery and then
learning to trust the Lord is
00:18:03.39\00:18:06.35
I think is one
of the biggest ones.
00:18:06.38\00:18:07.65
We learn to trust Him for
our daily bread then He can
00:18:07.68\00:18:10.69
go ahead and
provide the bigger things.
00:18:10.72\00:18:12.70
That has been one of the
biggest lessons I've learned
00:18:12.73\00:18:15.36
being with him. - what is
really amazing too, is not
00:18:15.39\00:18:18.46
only when you talk about
tests, one of the things I tell
00:18:18.50\00:18:20.97
people when they
first get into recovery and
00:18:21.01\00:18:23.92
I needed to know myself,
was the people around me they
00:18:23.96\00:18:26.84
don't really know if
I'm going to stand or fall.
00:18:26.88\00:18:28.71
So they really are leery
and it is really tough to build
00:18:28.75\00:18:32.50
up the trust relationships
again, and part of our recovery
00:18:32.53\00:18:36.33
is to let them, people
that we love have the time that
00:18:36.37\00:18:40.24
they need to have in order
to know our journey is real.
00:18:40.28\00:18:43.84
Sure, because addicts
are wrecking balls. - we are.
00:18:43.88\00:18:47.09
We are and everything we
go around just pooh, pooh.
00:18:47.13\00:18:50.28
Trust and nobody has any
trust for us that is why I'm so
00:18:50.31\00:18:54.02
amazed by my mom and dad
that automatically I moved
00:18:54.05\00:18:56.91
there and they are handed
me the car keys and wherever
00:18:56.95\00:18:59.77
you want to go
here have some money.
00:18:59.80\00:19:00.94
I'm like, I was floored by
that and never said anything
00:19:00.98\00:19:03.93
to them about it, but it
amazed me and I don't think it
00:19:03.97\00:19:06.89
ever cross their
mind to be careful.
00:19:06.93\00:19:08.91
Do not trust in the salvation
that I had in inside of me.
00:19:08.95\00:19:13.29
I wanted so
desperately to change.
00:19:13.33\00:19:15.38
In our addiction, I love
the saying where it says how do
00:19:15.42\00:19:19.89
you know when
an addict is lying?
00:19:19.92\00:19:22.18
Somebody says when
their mouth is open.
00:19:22.21\00:19:24.26
Because it is in our addiction
that we can't be trusted
00:19:24.29\00:19:28.20
at all, in our recovery
because I really am fighting to
00:19:28.23\00:19:32.10
be all of that, I'm
fighting to allow God to teach
00:19:32.13\00:19:35.61
me how to communicate and
reconnect and all of that.
00:19:35.64\00:19:39.21
So in that place I can
be trusted. - right, right!
00:19:39.25\00:19:43.19
And also learning that
it is okay where we are at.
00:19:43.23\00:19:46.50
Because God is going to
get us to where we need to be.
00:19:46.54\00:19:50.58
I think that's one of the
greatest things that He has
00:19:50.61\00:19:54.62
been showing me is
that it is okay to be me.
00:19:54.65\00:19:57.12
Me, where I am at, where
I have been, what I am going
00:19:57.16\00:19:59.70
through right now, because
it is all about His grace
00:19:59.73\00:20:02.23
and Him walking me
through the process.
00:20:02.27\00:20:03.84
He is not going to
give up on any of us while
00:20:03.88\00:20:07.08
we're halfway
through this journey.
00:20:07.11\00:20:08.29
People are like well why
is this happening faster?
00:20:08.32\00:20:10.92
It's taken us years to get
to be in the mess we are in
00:20:10.96\00:20:13.77
and we expect to be able
to be better automatically.
00:20:13.80\00:20:16.88
- exactly. - it's a
process, feeling human again
00:20:16.91\00:20:19.96
is the process.
00:20:19.99\00:20:20.96
I remember the first
times I started feeling emotions
00:20:20.97\00:20:22.80
again, and I was like
what is this, I'm crying at
00:20:22.83\00:20:24.65
Hallmark
commercials - it's true.
00:20:24.69\00:20:27.50
I hadn't had tears for all
those years and all of a sudden
00:20:27.54\00:20:29.25
I'm just highly
emotional and I love it.
00:20:29.29\00:20:31.58
I'm very sensitive to
the Spirit and when you start
00:20:31.62\00:20:35.85
feeling the health comeback
and that is still a journey
00:20:35.89\00:20:40.09
to get my body back to normal.
00:20:40.12\00:20:41.12
My brain being healed, I
saw a picture of a cerebral
00:20:41.15\00:20:44.77
cortex after my long-time
meth use and it looks like
00:20:44.81\00:20:48.39
battery acid had
been poured on top of it..
00:20:48.43\00:20:50.40
- like Swiss cheese. -
like holes eating through it.
00:20:50.43\00:20:52.76
Now granted I hadn't
seen that before when I was an
00:20:52.80\00:20:54.95
addict but it probably
wouldn't have stopped me anyway.
00:20:54.98\00:20:57.97
But I believe it takes
awhile for the brain to heal and
00:20:58.01\00:21:00.96
just a return to health.
00:21:01.00\00:21:02.96
What is amazing to me is
around those holes, holes don't
00:21:03.00\00:21:06.88
fill in, but your brain
starts to wire around them.
00:21:06.91\00:21:10.52
It's like we are
really wonderfully made.
00:21:10.56\00:21:13.25
We are fearfully and
wonderfully made yes, yes.
00:21:13.28\00:21:15.50
And all that takes time. - yes.
00:21:15.54\00:21:18.14
So what you are learning is
that it takes time, but what
00:21:18.17\00:21:22.05
I love about what you said
Chris is that even when you're
00:21:22.08\00:21:26.05
heart was drawn to even
having enough guts to call this
00:21:26.08\00:21:30.01
ministry up and
say what about me?
00:21:30.05\00:21:32.09
They never even questioned,
you got the job, you got
00:21:32.12\00:21:35.28
respect in the community.
- yeah, that is the most
00:21:35.32\00:21:38.44
amazing thing to
me is the fact that
00:21:38.48\00:21:41.39
I am respected in the community.
00:21:41.42\00:21:43.46
We go into churches and
speak and it is no secret where
00:21:43.49\00:21:46.57
I have been and what I
have done and who I am.
00:21:46.61\00:21:49.37
Kent's has never received
any flack for hiring me.
00:21:49.41\00:21:52.13
People are just
welcoming me with open arms.
00:21:52.17\00:21:56.14
I tell my story and they
are like oh, ex-meth addict,
00:21:56.17\00:21:58.60
and convict, no problem
come have dinner with us.
00:21:58.64\00:22:01.04
You know, that
just doesn't happen.
00:22:01.07\00:22:03.18
Outside of the will of
God, outside the heart of God.
00:22:03.21\00:22:07.01
Yes but God has a
plan in everything.
00:22:07.04\00:22:10.07
You know we think we mess
up at God has to sit up there
00:22:10.11\00:22:12.53
and try to figure out how
He is going to fix our mess.
00:22:12.56\00:22:15.36
Not realizing that He already
knew about all of this in
00:22:15.39\00:22:18.15
advance, and He has a
plan that is so much bigger.
00:22:18.19\00:22:20.42
I used to think that He
would just want me working with
00:22:20.45\00:22:23.80
addicts, and that is
where I would be always working
00:22:23.84\00:22:27.00
with addicts, but that hasn't
been, I have felt so drawn
00:22:27.04\00:22:30.17
toward sexual
assault counseling.
00:22:30.20\00:22:32.05
So it is all of this. -
what about that why sexual
00:22:32.09\00:22:35.78
assault? - because that is
my story, that is my story.
00:22:35.82\00:22:39.48
That is where I
have been and who I am.
00:22:39.51\00:22:41.97
I am a survivor, I'm
healed from pain that nearly
00:22:42.01\00:22:47.79
destroyed my life.
I've forgiven my father.
00:22:47.82\00:22:50.62
- everything was
an outcome of that?
00:22:50.66\00:22:52.95
I would like to say that
but I can't rest comfortably in
00:22:52.98\00:22:57.23
that, genetic, and generational
curses we don't know.
00:22:57.26\00:23:01.00
I would like to say yes
that is the reason, but I don't
00:23:01.03\00:23:04.57
know, I know it is a big
part of my story and who I am.
00:23:04.60\00:23:07.88
I know that it writes on
the Slate of who you become.
00:23:07.92\00:23:11.16
- right. - Christ can heal that.
00:23:11.19\00:23:13.75
- so you work with a lot of
folks who have been sexually
00:23:13.79\00:23:18.88
assaulted? They
just started coming in.
00:23:18.91\00:23:21.23
It seem like all of a sudden
everybody, I thought I would
00:23:21.26\00:23:23.74
be mostly working with
addicts and all of a sudden
00:23:23.78\00:23:25.71
everybody I'm getting in
for a new client is sexual
00:23:25.74\00:23:28.63
assaults, so I was forced
to deal with the oldest pain
00:23:28.66\00:23:31.86
that I had spades full of
dirt on top and think we're not
00:23:31.90\00:23:35.03
going there. I have forgiven my
father who died while I was in
00:23:35.06\00:23:37.68
prison by the way, and I
don't have to go there anymore.
00:23:37.71\00:23:41.26
But then through
counseling I've had to go there.
00:23:41.29\00:23:44.02
Once I went there I felt
like the Lord speaking to me,
00:23:44.05\00:23:47.73
this is where I want you,
ministering in this capacity.
00:23:47.77\00:23:52.61
You know to me it is
amazing to think about what our
00:23:52.64\00:23:57.45
pain and our injuries
lead us to, then what our
00:23:57.49\00:23:58.46
injuries lead us to then what
our addictions do to further
00:23:58.47\00:24:02.89
cause that pain.
00:24:02.92\00:24:04.52
So we get all mucked up
and God says, now I am going to
00:24:04.56\00:24:07.70
come in and I'm
going to clean all that up.
00:24:07.73\00:24:10.46
I'm going to take that
stony heart that you have, that
00:24:10.50\00:24:13.82
damaged heart and I'm
going to turn it into flesh.
00:24:13.85\00:24:16.74
What you said is that all
of a sudden I'm crying over
00:24:16.78\00:24:19.64
commercials because
God is just opening you up
00:24:19.67\00:24:22.98
to the ability to feel.
00:24:23.01\00:24:24.73
All of that is such a
miracle to be so lost, to be so
00:24:24.76\00:24:30.67
damaged and to realize
that today I'm healthy.
00:24:30.70\00:24:35.97
right! - I love life. - right.
00:24:36.01\00:24:38.61
And not only healthy, when
we were imprisoned I used to
00:24:38.64\00:24:41.19
sit around and think how
far would I have to go back
00:24:41.22\00:24:45.63
to change and
not be where I am at?
00:24:45.66\00:24:47.22
I used to think back, think
back to that story I told at
00:24:47.26\00:24:50.18
the beginning of coming
home and my dad sitting in that
00:24:50.21\00:24:53.09
chair and being so
scared and hiding outside.
00:24:53.13\00:24:55.47
Maybe there are all the way
back to the womb I don't know.
00:24:55.51\00:24:59.45
But now I sit and think,
thank you Jesus for everything
00:24:59.48\00:25:03.38
I went through because
it doesn't hurt anymore and
00:25:03.42\00:25:06.88
I get to use it in ministry.
00:25:06.92\00:25:08.69
And in the mean time my job
is great I get to join hands
00:25:08.73\00:25:11.40
and pray with pray with people.
and pour into their hearts
00:25:11.43\00:25:14.07
and listen to their
stories and tell them there is
00:25:14.10\00:25:16.64
always hope in Christ.
00:25:16.67\00:25:17.64
There is no place that you
can be so far gone, I mean you
00:25:17.67\00:25:20.73
know that, that Christ can't
reach in there and pull you
00:25:20.76\00:25:23.89
out and turn something horrible
into something beautiful.
00:25:23.93\00:25:27.38
That is what it is all
about and now I am like oh, that
00:25:27.41\00:25:30.51
stuff that I don't want anybody
to know about that, now I
00:25:30.54\00:25:33.75
find myself opening up and
telling people Heh, it is okay.
00:25:33.79\00:25:36.96
He can redeem that.
00:25:36.99\00:25:38.84
I want to break here, I want
to say first of all thank you
00:25:38.88\00:25:41.13
for being here on the program
and I want to break here.
00:25:41.16\00:25:43.38
We are going to
come back and do a close.
00:25:43.42\00:25:45.68
But I've heard a lot
during this segment about mom
00:25:45.72\00:25:49.80
and your stepdad and I would
like to bring them up during
00:25:49.84\00:25:53.81
the close and ask
a few things of them.
00:25:53.85\00:25:55.66
And just, you know
your mom prayed like crazy.
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Your stepdad prayed like
crazy and I can't even imagine
00:25:59.93\00:26:03.17
what they felt when you
jumped into recovery and got it.
00:26:03.20\00:26:06.41
So we are going to come
right back, stay with us.
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We are going to
meet mom and dad.
00:26:08.12\00:26:10.37