Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery,
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I'm Cheri your host.
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Today we are talking
about, is the meth? - meth!
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Oh Man, You have got to
join us, because you know what?
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It is all over the
country and we are going to see
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what it does to
people and to families.
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Welcome, have you ever met
someone that as you're talking
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you are
thinking we are so alike.
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I feel like if they did a
DNA test, we would be related
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somewhere, and I met
Chris, I exactly felt that way
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about you, from
the first time we met.
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Oh that is quite an
honor, because like I said I was
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star struck by you because
I've been a fan for a while.
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From the show because you
watch the show before. - yes.
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Well you are legendary in
recovery circles, and when
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I first - how far is
that? - yeah you are.
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When I first started getting
involved in recovery on my
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own and also in Christian
recovery, everybody said,
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have you heard of Cheri Peters?
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You have got to see her
show, so you are out there.
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Your name is out there.
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You know what is really
interesting about that is
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I'm hoping, like I just
got two letters handed to me
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as we were getting ready
to do this and it was from
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different people that were
coming out of a various things.
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One says I feel like I am
in a boat in the middle of
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nowhere and I
don't know where to land.
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When I look at this program
at least I know there are
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people that have landed
and have gone before me and
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that there is hope, so
I'm hoping with this program
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does with those in recovery
is that God knows exactly
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where we are at.
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He knows exactly where we
are going to pull in to and
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until we figure out how
to stand on our own two feet,
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is let's do that for each other.
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I'm hoping that we do that.
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On this set we have got
your boss here. - that's Kent.
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Your folks are here. - my
mom and my stepdad. - cool.
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And some folks that you
work with in counseling.
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Andrew and La Donna. -
so I wanted to say, and Tom
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works at 3ABN and
also works with you.
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So I want to say in the whole
café they are all connected
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to you in some way,
which is a cool thing. - it is.
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So you are going to tell
your story, and tell your story
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in a way that even the audience
will feel that connection.
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- no pressure there. - I
want you to be brilliant and
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normal, no. - and be
real. - and all that stuff.
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You know I want you
to, because you know I know
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about recovery is that I
know the more people can get
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to know us and our journey,
the more they are proud of God
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and our recovery, that's
what I love about recovery
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is that part of it.
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I think to me my story
starts with my earliest memory
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of childhood, and I guess
I was about five years old.
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Maybe a little older, my
mom would remember this very
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well, but I remember coming
home from school one day and
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my dad being passed
out drunk in the chair.
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For some reason, I don't
know exactly what he did, but
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he scared my brother and
I so bad that we were hiding
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around the side of the
house, it was wintertime.
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We hid out there until mom
came home and what I didn't
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know until later was that
mom was a Christian woman and
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strong and everything else.
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My dad of course was an
alcoholic, she had to call
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people to come and take
him into treatment himself.
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So I think a lot for me
that is where my story starts.
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My earliest memories of
my dad being intoxicated,
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and that was scary.
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Unless you have been raised
in an alcoholic home you don't
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realize that it is never
one way or another in your home.
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The assessments you have
to make from the time you are
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really little, change
every time you open the door.
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- right. - every time
somebody comes in the room.
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And that is what people don't
understand unless they have
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been through that you do
not know what kind of freak show
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you will walk through the
door and find every single day
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when you come home from school.
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It keeps you like in this
constant state of arousal of
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fear, is dad
going to be drunk today.
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It's dad to be sober
today, because when he was sober
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he was amazing and fun and
wonderful man, but he wasn't
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that way very
often unfortunately.
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I loved him very much. -
but when he was drunk it was
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really difficult. - yeah, yeah.
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But that is all I knew. -
yeah, I remember talking to
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somebody I worked
with one time and she said,
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she wouldn't even come out
of her room at night from when
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she was a tiny little girl
that she had a potted plant
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in her room and if she had
to go to the bathroom she would
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pee in the plant rather
than come out because it was so
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abusive to come
out if dad was drunk.
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I'm thinking that for
normal people, they have no idea
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what it feels like to
live under that kind of fear.
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That kind of I don't know
how to act, I don't want to be
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yelled at, I just don't,
I just don't want to go out
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there. - right, right.
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Well mom, my mom left my
dad. - how old were you when
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she left? - I think I
was about five mom? Yeah!
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Yes I was about five, I just
remember he was the cool parent
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and he was always taking
off and hitchhiking across
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country, he probably was
in rehab and lying to me.
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Which is true. - but I
always thought he had this
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glamorous exciting existence.
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He was off hitchhiking across
the country, but I honestly
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think he was in
rehab, wasn't he mom? - yeah!
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Mom's like shaking her
head, but yes hon he was.
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Yeah and I can remember
having to go visit him in the
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hospital after a car
accidents and everything.
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He was good at his craft of
drinking, he was very good at
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it, but she left him and
we were about five years old.
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He moved away, we used to
get to visit him quite a bit.
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Some of the earliest things
I remember about my dad is he
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was really inappropriate
with the things he would say
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around me and my brother.
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In what way? Talking
about all his different sexual
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partners and the things he
was doing behind my mom's back.
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You know, very crude language.
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So I grew up with this
mixed message of one thing
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coming from my mom who by
this point was taking us to
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church and I accepted
Christ at a very early age.
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The first time,
you know how that goes!
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I remember at one point,
even as a child, wanting to be
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an evangelist and would line
up all my friends and I give
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them the what for and would
preach to them and make them
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listen to me, but on the other
hand I would spend weekends
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with my dad and he would
be talking about some girl
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over, talking about his
different sexual exploits.
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Really explicit,
sexualized talk in front of us.
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Just for a lot of people,
do you know now that, that is
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a form of sexual abuse? -
yes that is what I was getting
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ready to say, I
have learned since then.
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I've done research that's sexual
assault, when you are a child
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even just hearing these
things - it's to sexualized.
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It is, it is, kids aren't
supposed to hear that stuff.
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On top of that, he
started, well I guess he kind of
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started making passes at me.
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That is the
cleanest way I can put it.
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I was just a kid and I
was confused and I didn't
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understand, so by the
time I was 12 years old mom had
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married my stepdad
and they moved away.
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He is an amazing man,
kind of a hero of our family.
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But I still wanted my dad,
and I will go see him on the
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weekends and I had
started sniffing gasoline.
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So I was doing
inhalants by the age of 12.
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I would go and run off and
hide in culvert and sniff gas.
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And why? Why what
was up? - I don't know.
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So there was no understanding
or connection to what that
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was doing for you?
- I liked the high.
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You know it is almost
like, I don't know if it is just
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something that gets in our
blood when ever we come from
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an addict family, but
- genetic, generational.
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- generational curses, I
call it all of those, behavior.
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But by the time was 12
years old I was sneaking off and
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starting to get high
and I was smoking pot.
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My dad's behavior towards
me got more and more sexualized
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and he started touching me.
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So anyway I was drinking
and doing a lot of things
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I shouldn't have been
doing at a very, very early age.
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What is really tough about...
as this sexualized behavior
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starts to manifest into some
physical behavior, something
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I can point at, is we think it
started then and do not realize
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that you were groomed
for years before that.
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By the time it was a physical
touch you are already prepared
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for that. - right, and of
course when you are a kid and
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that is what your dad thinks
you are worth, that is what
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you think you are worth.
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So - I'm sorry about
that. - me too, me too.
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So I started by the time I
was dating I didn't hold on
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to my virginity very long.
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So by age 15 I had given
that away and for some reason,
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and I don't understand why,
I decided I wanted to go and
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live with my dad, my
older brother had gone and lived
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there and he
stayed sober for a year.
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Every time I would go visit
it would look so cool there,
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my dad is now sober and he
threw my brother a kegger party
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for graduation and he was
remarried and I thought it
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looked like it was
a cool place to be.
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My mom and my stepdad, I
consider my dad, were taking me
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to church - boring. - and
I would get out - too strict.
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Yes, yes, they always wanted
me home and know where I was.
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I didn't have those rules
over at my dad's house and dad
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would let me smoke in the
house and I thought that was
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the coolest thing ever.
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He knew when I smoked pot
and he thought that was cool.
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He would feed is when we
had the munchies, me and my
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friends so I wanted to be there.
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Ignoring the fact of all
the warning signals, I remember
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my mom of course and
stepdad didn't want me to go but
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I thought it was
going to be different.
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I thought he was going to
be different and mom had warned
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me that she thought
he was drinking again.
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I of course
didn't listen to her.
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Did you move in there? -
well the day we got there, me
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and this guy that I was
dating drove me to Centralia,
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Illinois and the day I
got there I walked in the door
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and there was this sign hanging.
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He had hung a banner that
was half hung, and half was
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under his feet
saying welcome home Chris.
00:11:03.41\00:11:05.49
He was passed out in the
chair and had a bottle of Jack
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Daniels in his hand, and as
like a burning bush for Moses
00:11:08.82\00:11:12.05
which was no more
prophetic than that was.
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You know, it was like
God trying to tell me - run.
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- get out, get out and
instead I was too proud to have
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to go back and tell my
mom that she was right.
00:11:20.63\00:11:23.98
So instead you just
cleaned him up. - yeah.
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I moved in and I was 16 at
the time and I remember the
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second night there he went
out and bought a bottle of wine
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for me and my stepmom,
because he was drinking again.
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I remember I was sitting
there being really uncomfortable
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thinking this isn't
right, but we are doing it.
00:11:42.38\00:11:45.70
Because I don't know
why, because we loved him.
00:11:45.73\00:11:48.99
It was these crazy mixed
messages while I lived in that
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household and he would once
again all this sexualized talk
00:11:54.31\00:12:00.01
towards me and so I was dating
a lot and had no regard for
00:12:00.05\00:12:05.72
my body, you know.
00:12:05.76\00:12:07.77
I started, I
became very promiscuous.
00:12:07.81\00:12:11.40
I would like to, to me
sometimes I hear people making
00:12:11.43\00:12:16.67
judgments on kids that are
just running around and crazy
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out there doing things, and
to me I know I had never met
00:12:21.36\00:12:25.59
one that is acting out to
that level that doesn't have all
00:12:25.63\00:12:29.83
that history, not one.
00:12:29.87\00:12:32.87
Things don't happen in a vacuum.
00:12:32.91\00:12:34.54
- yeah, talk
about that for a minute.
00:12:34.58\00:12:36.36
Because I think we tend
to, what rises up and we hear
00:12:36.40\00:12:40.45
somebody use, whether it's
male or female is that we want
00:12:40.49\00:12:44.50
to make a judgment,
we want to say something.
00:12:44.54\00:12:47.05
I think all of heaven
says oh, please don't.
00:12:47.08\00:12:49.52
This child is damaged so
much already, and unless you can
00:12:49.56\00:12:52.49
approach them in love, unless
you are going to reach out
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and offer them a
lifeline for some time. - right.
00:12:55.46\00:12:57.78
I think that that is where
a lot of times we go wrong is
00:12:57.81\00:13:00.20
because everybody wants to
concentrate on their behavior.
00:13:00.24\00:13:03.50
The more you concentrate on
the behavior, from the Bible
00:13:03.53\00:13:06.72
it tells us the more you look at
the law, the more you are going
00:13:06.76\00:13:09.38
to instead of concentrating
on the love of Christ,
00:13:09.41\00:13:11.72
and just going in
with love, love, love.
00:13:11.76\00:13:13.77
Because kids don't act that
way unless they are hurting.
00:13:13.81\00:13:18.49
You know you can't give yourself
to everyone and not lose
00:13:18.53\00:13:23.18
your self-respect and
not be steeped in shame.
00:13:23.22\00:13:25.53
The more you feel ashamed,
the more you drink, the more you
00:13:25.57\00:13:29.82
drink the more you sleep
around, it is just cyclical?
00:13:29.86\00:13:33.30
Kids are even cutting,
they are doing all that kind of
00:13:33.33\00:13:36.74
crazy behavior because
they just feel worthless.
00:13:36.78\00:13:39.59
Right. - you stayed
with drinking though?
00:13:39.63\00:13:42.21
Oh no. - yeah because very
seldom is it one drug anymore.
00:13:42.24\00:13:47.40
No! I started with
sniffing gas, then went
00:13:47.44\00:13:52.05
to smoking pot, then went
drinking, and there are certain
00:13:52.08\00:13:56.08
people you can tell being
around them have propensity
00:13:56.11\00:14:00.07
towards uppers and
others you can tell?
00:14:00.11\00:14:02.91
Well I like anything
that made me go faster.
00:14:02.95\00:14:05.59
I geared towards cocaine
and was doing that whenever
00:14:05.63\00:14:09.47
I was still in high school and
started doing hallucinogenics.
00:14:09.51\00:14:13.06
I actually broke into a car
and stole the speakers out of
00:14:14.83\00:14:18.13
the backseat and left my
purse in the People's car that
00:14:18.17\00:14:21.44
had my driver's license.
00:14:21.47\00:14:22.80
Criminals are not real smart.
When we are high we are not
00:14:22.84\00:14:27.63
bright as fog. - well
from that I ended up having to
00:14:27.67\00:14:31.56
join the military. - you
either going to the military
00:14:31.60\00:14:34.72
or you go to jail. - yes,
yes my dad worked out that
00:14:34.75\00:14:37.84
arrangement with the judge.
00:14:37.88\00:14:39.57
So I was in the delayed enlist-
ment program in the military, so
00:14:39.61\00:14:42.30
I was leaving my father's
house behind and by age 17
00:14:42.34\00:14:45.15
I was going into the military,
which anyone knows who's
00:14:45.18\00:14:48.28
gone into the military
knows there is no place to teach
00:14:48.31\00:14:51.37
you how to drink like
being in the military.
00:14:51.41\00:14:53.83
Oh man - yet I joined the
Air Force and really endeavored
00:14:53.87\00:14:58.59
oh my alcoholism than and
still was to hallucinogenics and
00:14:58.62\00:15:03.31
everything else so I
stayed in there for four years.
00:15:03.34\00:15:05.55
I ended up living
in Florida after that.
00:15:05.58\00:15:10.43
So you just did one term -
oh yeah, they were ready for
00:15:10.47\00:15:15.12
me to leave. They kept
giving me drug tests, they knew
00:15:15.15\00:15:18.59
I was doing something but
they never caught me at the
00:15:18.62\00:15:21.69
right time, yeah they
were ready for me to leave.
00:15:21.72\00:15:24.66
It still amazes me that I
got an honorable discharge.
00:15:24.69\00:15:27.60
It was like suckers.
00:15:27.63\00:15:28.98
I had a friend and we
were so strung out and she said
00:15:29.01\00:15:32.47
we are just going to join
the service, and somebody said,
00:15:32.50\00:15:35.33
it was like a buddy plan
you can get into, you joined
00:15:35.36\00:15:38.12
together, and at the last
minute I just said I don't know.
00:15:38.15\00:15:41.41
I've not been
disciplined at all of my life.
00:15:41.45\00:15:43.44
So she joined and I didn't, I
use to get the letters from her.
00:15:43.47\00:15:46.42
They want my hangers
an inch apart from each
00:15:46.45\00:15:49.43
other and Na-na-na-na, and
bouncing quarters on my bed.
00:15:49.47\00:15:52.50
She was smoking weed, and
she didn't get an honorable
00:15:52.53\00:15:55.53
discharge, but you know
what it is a crazy place
00:15:55.56\00:15:58.78
to go from addiction and
crazy behavior to a very,
00:15:58.81\00:16:01.99
very structured discipline.
00:16:02.03\00:16:04.28
I was in the Air Force
and once we got past that six
00:16:04.32\00:16:06.25
weeks of basic training,
it wasn't so disciplined.
00:16:06.28\00:16:09.10
I have never drank more
than I did whenever I was doing
00:16:09.13\00:16:12.15
tech school, and they
gave me a top secret security
00:16:12.19\00:16:15.53
clearance and let me go
over seas and track aircraft.
00:16:15.57\00:16:18.87
Can you believe
that? - and you are wasted.
00:16:18.91\00:16:20.85
- yes I know and we
used to all laugh about it.
00:16:20.88\00:16:23.03
Excuse me is another
plane, no it's a bird.
00:16:23.07\00:16:25.15
All right, all right. -
so like I said they were glad
00:16:25.18\00:16:29.19
for me to leave, they didn't
miss me after they let me go.
00:16:29.22\00:16:32.40
So you left and went to
Florida? - right I ended up in
00:16:32.43\00:16:35.57
Florida doing the last
hitch of my military service.
00:16:35.60\00:16:39.32
Well I went to bike week in
Daytona and met this man and
00:16:39.36\00:16:44.47
fell in love and he
drove tractor-trailers.
00:16:44.50\00:16:47.32
So he loaded me up
and moved me to Minnesota.
00:16:47.36\00:16:50.14
It was like a nonstop
adventure, and I ended up liking
00:16:51.90\00:16:55.59
Florida so much
I went back there.
00:16:55.63\00:16:57.50
I was bartending
and through bartending.
00:16:57.53\00:17:01.82
Still with this guy? -
no. - okay because I was like
00:17:01.85\00:17:04.84
what happened to
the tractor-trailer?
00:17:04.87\00:17:06.76
Well he would roll in and
out of town just rip my heart
00:17:06.79\00:17:09.17
out every once in while but
no I went back to Daytona and
00:17:09.21\00:17:11.55
I bartended and from the
bartending that was just,
00:17:11.58\00:17:15.31
I was having a blast.
00:17:15.34\00:17:17.35
I had all the drugs I
wanted and I was doing a lot of
00:17:17.39\00:17:21.08
cocaine at that point,
all the alcohol I wanted,
00:17:21.11\00:17:23.94
men and everything.
00:17:23.98\00:17:26.07
Eventually the guy from
Minnesota came back around and
00:17:26.11\00:17:32.45
introduced me to meth.
00:17:32.48\00:17:34.23
Oh, meth is such bad news,
I mean all of it is bad news
00:17:34.27\00:17:37.80
but meth just
grabs a hold of you.
00:17:37.83\00:17:39.79
That was, to me that
was like the turning point.
00:17:39.83\00:17:44.44
I was doing anything I could
get my hands on, but I hadn't
00:17:44.48\00:17:48.21
settled on one, if someone
would ask you what my drug of
00:17:48.24\00:17:51.94
choice was earlier, you
had asked me all of them.
00:17:51.97\00:17:54.61
I would just flit
around, I was always high.
00:17:54.64\00:17:56.97
I remember going in to get
my drivers license pictures
00:17:57.00\00:17:59.76
taken all hung over
and messed up looking.
00:17:59.80\00:18:03.28
- I could just see
that, go ahead, smile.
00:18:03.31\00:18:06.73
They will go well that's
what she really looks like,
00:18:06.76\00:18:09.08
they would let me know.
- she is high, look at her.
00:18:09.11\00:18:12.61
I lived like that, it was
my life and when I found meth
00:18:12.65\00:18:16.62
it was like as soon as I
did that first line it was like
00:18:16.65\00:18:20.07
everything I thought I had
ever been looking for I have
00:18:20.10\00:18:22.88
just discovered it, everything
else including the alcohol
00:18:22.91\00:18:25.65
I thought that meth
cured my alcoholism.
00:18:25.69\00:18:28.92
That is because you lie
to yourself - yeah as oww
00:18:28.95\00:18:31.50
I don't hardly drink
anymore and I don't get drunk.
00:18:31.53\00:18:34.25
I have to say with people
that don't know about meth or
00:18:34.29\00:18:36.97
some of those drugs, is
that it just gives you an
00:18:37.01\00:18:39.59
endorphin rush, your dopamine
levels skyrocket, serotonin,
00:18:39.62\00:18:44.84
neuro-chemistry just gets,
everything is just skyrocketing.
00:18:44.87\00:18:50.05
So you do have this
euphoria that is unbelievable.
00:18:50.09\00:18:53.53
For hours and hours and
hours, yet that is what I used
00:18:53.57\00:18:56.98
to tell everybody, I
was cost-effective addict
00:18:57.02\00:19:01.81
I started doing meth
and stayed on meth daily for
00:19:01.84\00:19:06.59
11 years. - wow,
your teeth look great.
00:19:06.63\00:19:10.08
That is what everybody
says to me, you still have your
00:19:10.11\00:19:12.46
teeth. - yet because most
of my sisters done meth for
00:19:12.49\00:19:15.14
about 35 years, she doesn't
have her teeth, her hair is
00:19:15.17\00:19:17.79
falling out, got Aplastic
anemia, she's 70 pounds.
00:19:17.82\00:19:21.13
So I mean it is one of
those drugs that really robs you
00:19:21.16\00:19:24.79
physically of everything
including your mind in the end.
00:19:24.83\00:19:27.99
Right, and that is funny
because towards the end I was
00:19:28.02\00:19:31.23
getting what I call light
gray patches in my brain where
00:19:31.26\00:19:34.57
I would try to talk and
words were coming out backwards
00:19:34.60\00:19:37.87
and scrambled, I
knew,- you can hear yourself.
00:19:37.91\00:19:40.44
- I knew I was hurting my
brain and I had a tendency to
00:19:40.48\00:19:43.40
forget to unlock my motorcycle.
00:19:43.43\00:19:45.27
I would get on my bike
and go to take off in the neck
00:19:45.31\00:19:48.30
would be locked and I know
it's getting some brain damage
00:19:48.33\00:19:51.29
from it but I just kept going.
00:19:51.33\00:19:53.43
It was getting really
sad, I remember sitting one day
00:19:53.47\00:19:56.64
thinking it was going to
be so sad when I would be in
00:19:56.68\00:20:00.08
my 50s, 60s maybe if I
live that long, still having to
00:20:00.12\00:20:03.49
score drugs all the
time just to maintain.
00:20:03.52\00:20:05.83
Right, so what is amazing
to me is you had you that
00:20:05.86\00:20:09.63
underlying awareness, that
I am aware that this could be
00:20:09.67\00:20:14.72
my future. - oh yeah I
couldn't see anything else.
00:20:14.76\00:20:17.76
I didn't see any way out of it.
00:20:17.80\00:20:20.32
I tried a few times to
stop, as well like you know the
00:20:20.36\00:20:24.04
main reason I tried to stop
actually was because my dealer
00:20:24.07\00:20:27.04
would run out temporarily
and I would be like well it's
00:20:27.08\00:20:30.02
a great time to become sober.
00:20:30.05\00:20:31.47
It would consume me, I
mean it would consume me.
00:20:31.50\00:20:35.02
What is it like for somebody
that doesn't know at all,
00:20:35.06\00:20:37.78
what is it like when
you don't have the drug?
00:20:37.81\00:20:39.98
I describe it like a fingernail
that would scratch on the back
00:20:40.02\00:20:43.69
of my brain, I mean just coo,
and I would have the phone in
00:20:43.72\00:20:47.36
my hand and just
dial, dial, dial.
00:20:47.39\00:20:48.99
- Just trying to find
anyone - then you sleep and you
00:20:49.02\00:20:52.99
wake up eat and
obsess, obsess, and obsess.
00:20:53.03\00:20:56.25
It is like the only thing
you can think about, so it is
00:20:56.28\00:21:00.17
pretty miserable
when you are without it.
00:21:00.21\00:21:02.82
And willing to do
just about anything for it?
00:21:02.85\00:21:05.40
Yeah, well that is what
ended me up, getting me in
00:21:05.43\00:21:09.37
trouble is that I like to
think that I was a pretty highly
00:21:09.40\00:21:12.45
functioning addict, because
through all this I held down
00:21:12.48\00:21:16.23
jobs, bartending, being a
drug addict and alcoholic I got
00:21:16.27\00:21:19.99
fired a lot, not surprisingly.
00:21:20.02\00:21:22.37
I would get jacked up
behind the bar and they would be
00:21:22.41\00:21:25.89
that was enough of that.
00:21:25.92\00:21:27.14
I still always
had a job. - right.
00:21:27.18\00:21:29.86
The last place I was
working I had lost my job and
00:21:29.90\00:21:34.09
I think I had said
something inappropriate
00:21:34.13\00:21:36.66
to someone, imagine that!
00:21:36.69\00:21:38.19
I know now, I think back
because through all this my mom
00:21:38.23\00:21:43.65
and my stepdad never
stopped praying for me.
00:21:43.69\00:21:47.25
- that's amazing.- they
lived in Illinois and I think
00:21:47.28\00:21:50.07
had mom known what I was up
to it would have killed her.
00:21:50.11\00:21:52.85
She had no idea, but she
knew I wasn't living right.
00:21:52.89\00:21:55.56
She knew I wasn't living for
Christ. - she probably saw you
00:21:55.60\00:21:58.24
now and again but couldn't tell
it you were so out of control.
00:21:58.28\00:22:00.89
Right, well I avoided.
- and you lie like a dog.
00:22:00.93\00:22:03.23
- oh yeah, - no, no I'm fine.
00:22:03.26\00:22:05.44
You don't want to be around
Christians when you are living
00:22:05.48\00:22:08.16
so unholy, and every time I
would get around them I would
00:22:08.20\00:22:10.84
get really angry inside
and I know now it was the
00:22:10.88\00:22:14.04
conviction of the Holy Spirit.
00:22:14.08\00:22:15.53
So I would avoid them, and
when I did see her I felt so
00:22:15.56\00:22:19.81
dirty, I admired her so much,
and always wanted to be like
00:22:19.84\00:22:24.05
my mom because she
was such a godly woman.
00:22:24.09\00:22:26.45
Her spiritual giftness
was just sweetness and servant
00:22:26.49\00:22:30.27
hood and all these
things that I wasn't.
00:22:30.31\00:22:31.81
Instead I used to tell people
that I got my dad's desire to
00:22:31.84\00:22:36.35
party and my mom's guilt, so
it was like a bad combination.
00:22:36.38\00:22:41.68
But I admired her so much
and she never stopped praying
00:22:41.72\00:22:46.30
for me, so she came to a
point at one time where she told
00:22:46.33\00:22:50.29
me that she got on her
knees and told the Lord whatever
00:22:50.33\00:22:54.25
it takes to save my daughter.
00:22:54.28\00:22:56.18
About that point I had lost
my last job, was out of money
00:22:56.21\00:23:01.54
to buy dope and I was
getting ready to go to school.
00:23:01.57\00:23:05.62
I had completed one degree
and was getting ready to start
00:23:05.66\00:23:09.88
another and I called up my
dealer and offered him $2000
00:23:09.91\00:23:14.12
that I had coming in from
student money to hold for me.
00:23:14.16\00:23:17.81
You know quote unquote hold
for me, of course we know what
00:23:17.85\00:23:20.78
that means that I wanted
him to front me some dope and he
00:23:20.82\00:23:23.72
could invest that
and do whatever with it.
00:23:23.75\00:23:25.81
I wasn't even thinking of the
investment part I just needed
00:23:25.84\00:23:28.18
some dope, so anyway
he agreed to do that.
00:23:28.22\00:23:31.88
un-be-known to me they
had my dealer's phone tapped.
00:23:31.92\00:23:34.57
- wow - and they were
just getting ready, the federal
00:23:34.61\00:23:37.75
government, this was DEA
was getting ready to throw the
00:23:37.78\00:23:40.89
net over the local kingpins.
00:23:40.93\00:23:44.14
So right after that they
showed up at my front door and
00:23:44.17\00:23:47.34
knocked on the door and I
opened it and they pulled me
00:23:47.38\00:23:51.03
out the door arresting me
with charges of conspiracy to
00:23:51.07\00:23:55.28
traffic of over 500g of
methamphetamine. Federal charges
00:23:55.32\00:23:59.02
We are going to break
right there, I want to break and
00:23:59.06\00:24:03.00
come back because I know
right now everything looks
00:24:03.04\00:24:06.68
hopeless and God does
His best work when it looks
00:24:06.71\00:24:09.57
hopeless. So if it is
looking hopeless in your life
00:24:09.60\00:24:11.94
you've got to stay with
us because it is absolutely
00:24:11.98\00:24:14.28
amazing what God can do.
00:24:14.31\00:24:17.08