Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery
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I'm Cheri your host.
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Has anyone ever said to you
Heh buddy, what's your problem?
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Well today that is what
we are going to talk about
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is what is your problem
and is there anyway you can get
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out from
underneath it and walk away?
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Come join us in the café today.
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Welcome, this is a really
interesting thing when we talk
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about that if somebody ever
came up to you and said to you
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Buddy do you have a problem?
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Most of us don't
see our core issues.
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It's really interesting
that I can see my major issues
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I can see the issues like
I'm a heroine addict, and I was.
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I can see issues if I
have anger, or pride, or any of
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that. We can probably see
some of those clearly if I'm
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always in someone's face
and had that aggression and
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that kind of stuff.
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Some of us, if you can't
we will work on that through
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this whole next season.
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But in the stuff we are
looking at step four in the
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recovery journey, and in
step for it says I'm going to
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take a fearless in the
inventory on all my stuff.
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Who I am and what things
I actually have to work on.
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I have said this before on
the program, I was a heroine
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addict for 10 years,
homeless and all that and when
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I got into recovery I had
no idea what my issues are.
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Somebody said oh just
stop using heroin and I did and
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I was crazy, literally crazy.
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So in taking an inventory we
are looking at this one thing.
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I'm going to explain
that for most of us we have
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blind spots, areas in our
personality, in our character,
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we don't even see.
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Somebody can come up and
say, like they did with me when
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I had gotten counseling
early on at one point in the
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psychiatrist looked at
me, and he was really serious.
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He said, Cheri have you
ever looked at any of your anger
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issues? And I said I
just don't think I have any.
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He goes oh man, and I remember
him just looking at me like
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she is in such
denial it is crazy.
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So what we call those
in ministry is blind spots.
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We have these blind spots
and I will explain in a way that
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might make it a
little bit easier to hear.
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Have you ever gone on a journey.
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I'm going to take my car
and drive across country and
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I am a fairly good driver.
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But if I'm going to get
into the car and drive cross
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country I'm going to really
look at other drivers because
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I don't know about you
but sometimes there is crazy
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people on the road.
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All of a sudden you can
be cut off, somebody going 90
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miles an hour down the
highway and I just want to pay
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attention to them.
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Or there will be someone
drifting in and out of the lane
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and it is late at night
and I know there are probably
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tired and so I'm
going to look at them.
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I'm going to look at my own
fatigue, am I tired, do I need
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to pull over for a while.
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I'm going to look at any
mechanical problems so that
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when I am taking the trip
I want to look at all that
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stuff because all
of that stuff matters.
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Do I have oil? Do
I have enough gas?
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How's my transmission or
whatever? How are my tires?
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But there are
things that I can't know.
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Like if I'm driving down
the road and I look into my side
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window to change lanes, I
can pretty much see everything
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but there are blind
spots in those mirrors. Right?
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If somebody is in my
blind spot I could change lanes
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and push them right off
the road and not even see it.
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They could land up in a
ditch and I was be still singing
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the same song driving along.
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In a psychological
sense we have blind spots.
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We have areas
that we just don't see.
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Sometimes we don't see
them for years, but they will
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always trip us
up in our recovery.
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So if you have blind spots,
we are going to really look
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at that this time around.
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Man, if you get this
you get your life back.
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If you get this
you'll get into recovery.
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But some body says if
they are blind spots how do
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I get that? Ask
someone, ask anybody you know.
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If I walk up to my husband
and say Brad, and my husband
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is here on the set and he
can tell you if I walked up to
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him and said Brad, is
there anything in my personality
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that I may need to
work on that I don't get?
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First of all he looked
stunned, like deer in the
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headlights, like I'm
not going to touch that one.
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But if I tell him hon, I
really want to know, and I
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really want to work on
this in recovery he may be
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gentle enough with me
and say, Cheri you really are
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hypersensitive and you
have rejection issues that
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sometimes getting your
way and maybe you would
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like to look at that.
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Or you lie too much, or
you exaggerate too much.
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He will show me some of
those blind spots, and if I am
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really true in my
recovery I will look at them.
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So those blind spots are
always, like I said before,
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will trip you up and I
don't want you to trip up.
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I don't want to trip up
myself so I'm going to tell you
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different ways and I
will have different treatments
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areas, different treatment
centers, 12 step groups or
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whatever that
different people have looked at
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these blind spots differently.
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If I can say different a
number of times, I will say it.
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The first one we are
going to look at is there is an
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Oxford group that says
what you are going to do is to
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get a piece of paper and make
four squares out of the paper
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and look at love, is there any
thing in this category in love
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that you have done
that has messed you up?
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I'm talking about relationships
obviously, but I'm also
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talking about our
sexuality and how we have acted
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out in those ways.
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The stuff that you list in
that area, anything that has
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tripped you up, the
next one is honesty, and the
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next one is resentment.
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You have different
areas and you start
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listing everything
out. So in the Oxford group
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they believe that if I can
look at what is wrong with me,
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or what is obviously a character
defect and start working
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on those I can
actually get some freedom.
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And they are really effective,
they really have a standard
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they have a
direction to go in to.
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The 12th step groups,
they look at a little bit
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differently, they will
tell you to write down or put in
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four columns on
a piece of paper.
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The first column, and this
I love, the first column write
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out resentment, every
single resentment you have.
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Write out resentments
you have with an institution.
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Like if I was on the streets
robbing places and shooting
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heroine and living that
lifestyle they may say I resent
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law-enforcement, right?
Because I may resent law-
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enforcement or I may resent
the government because I lost my
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house. I may resent what ever.
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List out institutions, people,
anything you resent it in
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your life and then
look at the next column.
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How that resentment has
interfered with your life.
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It has robbed me financially.
I went to jail for 17 years.
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I lost my house and
I had to go on welfare.
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Whatever it is you look at
the resentment and how it has
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affected you, how it affected
your pocketbook, whether it
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has affected your self-esteem,
whether it has affected
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your family and you look
at different sections of how
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I'm going to come out of those
resentments and work myself
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out of those resentments.
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Really by turning it
over to God, which is amazing.
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Or turn it over to a
higher power which a lot
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of people talk about.
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That's the 12 step and
there is another one called the
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12 traditions and in that
when they really take it more
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vague, I'm going to take a
piece of paper, a blank piece
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of paper and start writing
questions to ask myself maybe
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the question might be
well with my background like?
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What was my history
like? What was it like in the
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middle of my drugs?
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What are the things I
struggle with the most?
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And I will answer those
questions and in answering those
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questions I'll start
seeing theme being developed.
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Things to work on and with
that I'm literally going to,
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it is a vague way to look
at it but I will start getting
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as I write the more I
write I will start getting
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a picture of what I
am going to look at.
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The next one is, let me
think of what the next one is.
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There are so many
of them out there.
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The next one is looking
at the Hazleton approach, the
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Hazelton approach is
about the same thing is that I'm
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going to write down my fears,
I'm going to write down my
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resentments and what makes
me angry and all those things.
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Write down some of those
because sometimes we forget
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about our fears and sometimes
our fear looks like anger,
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excuse me, but
it's not its fear.
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So we're going to look at all
that and do it again in an open
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ended thing or I will
write almost a history.
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What we use in our
ministry, True Step Ministries,
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it is a personal inventory
sheet and the sheet looks at
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bitterness, anger, rejection,
pride, and those things that
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are usually hidden from us.
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When somebody says, when
you walk up to someone and you
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have pride issues but you
don't know it, everybody in
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the room knows that,
but you don't know it.
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So we look at those issues,
where they come from, and how
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you can walk out
from underneath them.
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When I walk out from
underneath them I am free.
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So in this season we are
going to look at how to do
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a fearless
inventory of all your junk.
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Not just look at it but to
come out under from underneath
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it and you can be free.
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The people around me can be
more honestly loved by me and
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I can be loved by them.
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Sometimes when we are locked
down with these blind spots
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we are locked down with
pride issues or anger issues or
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I am over sensitive
I have rejection stuff.
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I have rejection stuff and
it pops up all the time, but
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if we start looking at
those and become free of them,
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not only am I free to love
the person in front of me but
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they are free to actually
love me back and I can receive
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that and it is
absolutely amazing.
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There is another part of
the 12 step that nobody really
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tends to look at, a lot of
people don't tend to look at.
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But what are your good things?
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Sometimes when I was on
the streets for 10 years and
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strung out, I didn't
know I had any talents.
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I didn't even
know I had good stuff.
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I didn't know I love
to laugh, I love to love,
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I love to be present
for someone and to hang out
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with people and all that stuff.
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I love art, I love music
I love all that stuff but in
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my junk I didn't
know any of that stuff.
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So when doing personal
inventories it is really nice to
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look at your blind spots,
look at the stuff that gets in
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your way, but look at the
stuff that may be you don't
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know or know that you can do.
00:11:57.89\00:12:00.20
I'm telling you people
that come in to recovery and
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they are a mess and everybody
on the planet knows that.
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They are strung out sexually
and I have just worked with
00:12:08.58\00:12:12.50
this guy that had been
divorced five or six times.
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His children don't talk to
him anymore and he sat across
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from us and had no idea
that he had any problems.
00:12:18.45\00:12:23.22
He blamed it on everybody,
but this guy is going through
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all this stuff, all this
wreckage, you talk about blind
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spots in his traveling.
00:12:30.27\00:12:31.96
All this wreckage is behind
him in cars and ditches the
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fires all behind him,
and probably an ambulance
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everywhere but he has all
the havoc that he has caused
00:12:37.23\00:12:40.82
and wreckage he has caused
and he has no idea about his
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blind spots but he also has
no idea what his giftings are.
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He had no idea what he has
to offer the people around him.
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I believe that every
single one of us has incredible
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things to offer the people
around us that God has given
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as gifts and talents
that are unbelievable.
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This season find out
where your blind spots are which
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it's tough, it's tough but
then you find out what your
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gifts are and that is amazing.
00:13:07.95\00:13:09.55
So stay with us we are going
to talk about that stuff in
00:13:09.58\00:13:12.75
between all of this conversation
for the season you are
00:13:12.78\00:13:15.91
going to meet
some incredible folks.
00:13:15.95\00:13:17.50
We come back after break
I'm going to introduce you to
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some people that I
met when I was traveling.
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They have pretty
much changed my life.
00:13:23.24\00:13:25.24