Welcome to Celebrating Life
In Recovery my name is Cheri.
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Have you ever felt too
crazy that maybe even God can't
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help you? Not true!
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I'm going to introduce
you to a couple today that you
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will want to
kiss God on the face.
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Come in the café and join us.
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Welcome back, we are going
to talk today about a number
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of things, I'm going to
introduce you to Dan and Angela
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Clark and they're going to
talk about their testimony.
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They had a lot of things
going on in their life, but what
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got me when telling me
their story, is how they dealt
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with issues in
their own relationship.
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Co-dependency being one of
them, and I know people hate
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to hear that word, they
don't know what it means,
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what is it exactly?
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I remember a couple come
on over to my house and we
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are doing marriage counseling.
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They came over to my house
and they were, I'm leaving,
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I hate him, no matter
what you say I'm divorcing him
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and they didn't even
like to sit together.
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I have been sit on the
couch and they were at opposite
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ends of the couch.
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Don't touch me, your
on my half, it was like
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watching these two little kids.
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I then looked at this guy
who has this rage disorder.
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Vietnam Vet, he was sentenced
for murder at 17 and they sent
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him to Vietnam, I mean he
has his horrendous background
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with anger, but I realize
that the marriage issues weren't
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really his issues,
it was her codependency.
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So I turned around her and
I said I think at least half
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of the issue is you.
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She looked like she
was going to cut my throat.
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She was so angry, she
was wanting to pack her bags.
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She said I come here
and trusting you and you are
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telling me that is my
problem, and within a week they
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were like newlyweds again
but she had to look at the
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fact that maybe the way
she was responding to the world
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around her caused her
over, and over, and over again
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be in these same situations.
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Today we're going to talk
about that, and if you are a
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codependent don't hate me
at the end of this, because
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this is going
to be good for you.
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So I want to introduce you
to Dan and Angela and I want
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to say thank you so much
for being on the program.
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Thanks much for having us.
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You know what I'm talking
about, it's a hard thing.
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Yeah I do, it is, it is!
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Were going to get into
that but first of all let's find
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out who you are, where you
are from, and Dan let's start
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with you, I know that
when I first heard your story,
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I was like shut
up that is intense.
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Start out from being raised.
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I grew up in West Land Michigan
just outside of Detroit.
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I grew up in a two-bedroom
house with four brothers.
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- you're kidding me? No
was four kids in one room with
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two bunks. - a mom
and dad? Yes, mom and dad.
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My mother was a hoarder, we
picked up carpet everywhere.
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The house was
completely full and we had
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trails through our house.
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Just for somebody who
doesn't know what a hoarder is,
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I think I'm married to one.
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So explain
because it is a sickness.
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Yes, yes my mother,
she collected everything.
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We picked up junk continually
and brought it into our
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house, old rugs
that were urinated on.
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My mother just
wouldn't let us go by.
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- so even like you said,
there is piles in your house.
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It was small
enough but you had to
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literally walk through that?
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We walked through trails, we
had a dog and the house was full
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of fleas, the dog wet every
where and it literally lifted
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the tiles off the kitchen floor.
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It was in terrible
condition, when we had to take a
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shower we had clothes in
the tub and we took them out,
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it was filled full of fish
worm and silkworms and mold
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growing on the
walls, it was really crazy.
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To me as I'm looking at
you and you are talking about
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this, is that I've had to
work with people with that
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story, when you walk in
the house you don't want to say
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anything and don't want to
look shocked, but these kids
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their normal day to
day stuff is tragic.
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You wonder what do
you think of the world?
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How do you walk out of
this, go to school and then
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walk back into this?
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Oh man, I don't think I was
conscious, I was so used to it,
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it and that my mother had a
nervous breakdown every 3 years,
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years, so every 3 years,
and she was schizophrenic
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a paranoid schizophrenic,
so every 3 years at 5 years old
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I was literally
bolting the windows shut.
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My mother would say Dan,
bolt the window shut, somebody's
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going to come in.
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I was putting screws in
the window with a screw gun
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at the back door and was
thinking how would we ever
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get out of here.
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Then we will call my dad,
because he worked out of town,
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and I would say dad you
need to come home moms having a
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breakdown and then she
would get undressed and run down
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the street, and this
happened every 3 years or so.
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It was part of our normal
life watching our mother go
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into the mental ward
and visiting her there.
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It was pretty crazy.
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I would like to say I'm sorry
for what you saw growing up.
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As a kid by the time
you are any age at all,
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the world is just skewed
as far as your view of it.
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What is real and what is
not real, what's safe and what
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is not safe, because
even though you knew that your
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mom was paranoid, there was
that sense of urgency skewed
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was always with you.
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That is where I
learned co-dependency.
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I was watching my mom
suffer and it 5 years old I was
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saying, mom don't worry,
dad's going to come home.
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I was fixing her and
I was making her okay.
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- I want to take care of
you. Yeah I want to take care
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of you, and I would kneel
down in front of her and say
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mom, dad will be home don't
worry I'll bolt up the house
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really good and that was
the life we lived out of.
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Now if I can jump up to 18?
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Before you jump up I
want to say one thing because
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I think Dan, it's amazing
to me that you learned very
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young to be very good at that.
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Then people thank you
for taking care of your mom,
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and your dad I'm sure
appreciate that you were there
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and called him
with all that stuff.
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All your sense of who you
are and your worth was around
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whether you could keep
this craziness at some kind
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of a workable level. -
yes, and I protected her.
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If I'm brothers raised
their voice I would literally
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be in a closet with a pan,
and if anyone raised their voice
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too loud, their
responsible for mom's mental
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condition to my dad.
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We learned to
anticipate every move, that's a
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codependent, always anticipating
somebody's move and say
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dad looks like he's going
to get mad I better do this.
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Your 10 steps ahead of
everybody, whether it's real or
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not and you're trying to
fix, you're trying to keep calm
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because my dad was very
angry, he got explosive angry.
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He would whip a glass at my
mom's head, it just shattered
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in her hair and we watch
my mom pull out glass of her
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hair and then she would
come with a bag full of nail
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polish and wept
my dad on the head.
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Then my dad he would sit
in the hallway, this is crazy,
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but he would shoot BBs.
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- Well you haven't been
crazy up to this point so...
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this may sound crazy guys,
but my dad used to sit on the
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floor, and my mother
was heavily tranquilized,
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seriously tranquilized,
stuff you wouldn't believe.
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He would shoot BBs over
her head to get her up in the
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morning, he'd say
get up woman, boom.
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She'd say Mel
quick firing at me.
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I would go dad, dad,
he'd say woman get up, boom.
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It would ricochet off the
mirror, and crack the mirror.
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And we're dad, dad take it easy.
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Get up woman and he
would fire right over her head.
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This is how we grew up.
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What's interesting is, because
I grew up in a crazy home,
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it's even in a crazy home
we say, and now this is crazy.
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Everything you
just said was crazy.
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So that is your
foundation? - yes!
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Now you want to jump to 18?
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At 18 years old what happened?
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At 17 years old I took
my first drink, and I was an
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alcoholic from
the minute I took it.
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I don't know why, I
felt so good when I drank
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my first quart of beer.
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May I just say, when I
took my first drug, it was only
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thing that ever
felt normal to me.
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Yeah, I felt completely normal
and I wanted to celebrate.
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I drank and I drank
and I just loved it.
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- It didn't matter all
this craziness anymore,
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I'm not a part of that
anymore. - I was euphoric.
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I remembered running
through the snow and I was free.
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I did know why, I
just thought that.
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- the reason I want to say
that Dan, for people that are
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watching that haven't been
just sucked into drugs in that
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way, is they do not
know what is it that works.
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Everything about it works.
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For an alcoholic or druggie
that's been through so much
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dysfunction, when we find
something that actually makes
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us feel normal, it's like
the solution has been found.
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We've had other people on
this program that have said
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that, I felt like I found
the answer to all my problems.
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So I just want
someone to understand that.
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With this craziness, all
of a sudden life is okay.
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Yes, yes. - so you protect that
addiction with everything in you
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Yes, and I didn't want
to be an alcoholic like
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my friends, I thought were.
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Because they drank all the time.
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I had alcoholics that would
drink with me every other day.
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Or every couple of days
and they would drink every day.
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Eventually I got to
where I was drinking everyday.
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We were drinking cases, I
was into beer then, we would
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have a case in the middle
of our car and drive around.
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I would drink every
single day and it felt so normal
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until I got locked up.
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I had like four felonies
before I knew what happened.
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Next thing I knew I was in
jail and I thought how did I get
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here? - that makes me
laugh, when you come from such a
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crazy environment it
takes a while before you think,
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I don't think
this is working for me.
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Yeah, exactly I had no
idea, I was behind bars going
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how did I get here?
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People are yelling down the
hall, and I was yelling down
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there and my buddies were
going you're going to be locked
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up forever and
you're going to rot in here.
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You know I had no clue
what was happening in my life.
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I was just drinking and
responding and reacting and
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living life without any
awareness or consciousness or
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anything and as I got older.
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I don't know if you want
to go that far ahead? - yeah.
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I got into pornography
and different things.
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- For a lot of people, and
I'm sure that you know, and that
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is a part of it, the whole
world brings in our sexuality
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and who we are
in all those areas.
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What is hard about drugs
and alcohol and dysfunction,
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being all on the table,
is who we are sexually gets
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so twisted, it
really does get twisted.
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It was really twisted for
me and I remember talking in my
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church, I remember trying
to express that I felt like...
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Wait a minute,
where did church come in?
00:11:04.88\00:11:06.96
I'm like wait a minute we
are in jail, and now in church.
00:11:08.55\00:11:11.64
So church did play a
part in your life somewhere?
00:11:11.67\00:11:15.39
Yes, yes actually I grew
up in a real strict, I call it
00:11:15.43\00:11:19.78
sin based religion,
and it was very strict.
00:11:19.81\00:11:23.47
We sat in the back of the
hall, we were among the church
00:11:23.50\00:11:26.20
goers that were weak, we
were the weak churchgoers
00:11:26.23\00:11:29.26
so we sat in the back.
00:11:29.29\00:11:30.42
As I got older I left the
church and then I returned to
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the church,
full-fledged and I was going to
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serve God with everything.
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- I'm not going
online, stop doing the porn.
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Yeah, yeah that was pretty
crazy, I used to throw away
00:11:43.92\00:11:47.14
porn and then get
back out the garbage.
00:11:47.17\00:11:49.10
One minute it was, I felt
bad and I would even scream,
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sometimes, I recorded
myself, after a sexual thing
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and I wanted myself to
know how horrible it was.
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I tapped myself. - I
don't want to be here anymore.
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Let me just, I want to drop in,
I don't want to interfere with
00:12:03.82\00:12:07.06
what you're saying, but I
just want to say what I learned
00:12:07.10\00:12:10.17
about God through all that
craziness, in the middle of
00:12:10.20\00:12:13.39
the ugliest stuff we are
involved in, that He is crazy
00:12:13.43\00:12:16.71
about us and wants to
somehow take that kid that was
00:12:16.75\00:12:20.22
trying to get their mom
not be crazy, to find their
00:12:20.25\00:12:23.69
safety and stuff in Him.
00:12:23.72\00:12:25.93
Even through all your
pornography, I just want to say,
00:12:25.96\00:12:29.96
did you get a sense in any
real way that God was there?
00:12:29.99\00:12:33.28
Or was it just a shame
based religion at this point?
00:12:33.32\00:12:36.48
At that point it was
just a shame based religion.
00:12:36.52\00:12:39.59
When I tried to tell people
all I got was blank stares.
00:12:39.63\00:12:42.67
- somehow you are a nut?
00:12:42.71\00:12:45.21
Yeah, you are a nut,
and people would back off.
00:12:45.25\00:12:47.84
I even had certain
things removed and in some
00:12:47.87\00:12:50.39
organizations you have
privileges, you can read the
00:12:50.42\00:12:53.16
Bible, or you can do
different things as far as being
00:12:53.19\00:12:55.90
involved in the church.
00:12:55.93\00:12:57.70
Well once you have mentioned
that you have this sexual
00:12:57.73\00:13:00.03
problem, they take those away.
00:13:00.06\00:13:02.60
Let's put a little
note on the calendar here
00:13:02.63\00:13:04.64
and let's work on it.
00:13:04.68\00:13:06.36
What bothered me the most
was I felt I was the only one
00:13:06.40\00:13:10.21
in this whole 5 million
church that had this problem.
00:13:10.24\00:13:14.01
I really did. -
nobody talked about it?
00:13:14.05\00:13:15.81
Nobody talked about it, nobody,
I didn't hear anybody say
00:13:15.85\00:13:19.51
I struggled with that too.
00:13:19.55\00:13:21.24
So I felt like I was the
only one, so what happened to me
00:13:21.28\00:13:25.64
was part of me, after you
get enough privileges removed,
00:13:25.67\00:13:30.00
then you feel bad.
00:13:30.03\00:13:31.87
Then you say, boy if I talk
about this much more I'm going
00:13:31.91\00:13:35.13
to be
disfellowshipped or whatever.
00:13:35.16\00:13:37.22
Anyway what happened to me
was I come compartmentalized,
00:13:37.26\00:13:40.00
I actually
developed a split personality.
00:13:40.04\00:13:42.27
One part of me was in the church
smiling and the other part
00:13:42.31\00:13:46.32
was involved in the sexual
misconduct, more pornography.
00:13:46.36\00:13:50.34
That kept going
and going and going.
00:13:52.89\00:13:54.76
- so you began lying
and living a different life?
00:13:54.79\00:13:58.87
I felt like I was a part
of Satan's, because you were
00:13:58.90\00:14:02.49
either in or out, there
was no gray area in my church.
00:14:02.53\00:14:06.08
You are either
with us all the way,
00:14:06.12\00:14:07.79
are you are in the world.
00:14:07.83\00:14:09.46
A friend of mine Bernie
Andersen, who has been on the
00:14:09.49\00:14:12.19
program before
wrote a book called,
00:14:12.22\00:14:13.79
' Breaking the Silence,' and he
is a Pastor and dealt with porn
00:14:13.82\00:14:17.06
until he was 14 and he finally
had to say out loud, I have
00:14:17.10\00:14:20.18
to start saying something
because men are dying thinking
00:14:20.22\00:14:23.27
they are the
only ones out there.
00:14:23.31\00:14:24.89
I say men, but I know women
have sexual addictions too.
00:14:24.92\00:14:28.28
On some of our addictions,
especially if they get sexual,
00:14:28.32\00:14:31.64
we don't have anyone
we can go and just say
00:14:31.68\00:14:35.76
are you dealing with this?
00:14:35.80\00:14:38.32
And do you know
what I'm talking about?
00:14:38.36\00:14:39.76
I think that's a sin, I
think you should be able to have
00:14:39.79\00:14:43.26
another man in the church
to say sit down, this is what
00:14:43.30\00:14:46.73
I did, this is what helps me.
00:14:46.77\00:14:50.39
What I actually did was
hid, and I found out as I went
00:14:50.43\00:14:54.53
to some of the 12 steps
that a lot of men were hiding.
00:14:54.56\00:14:58.63
They had this
problem, not everybody,
00:14:58.67\00:15:01.28
but a lot of men were hiding
and they couldn't tell their
00:15:01.32\00:15:03.97
Pastors, they couldn't
tell anybody in the church.
00:15:04.00\00:15:06.68
It was just this
thing that you were dirty.
00:15:06.71\00:15:08.80
That really propelled me
into thinking I was really evil,
00:15:08.84\00:15:12.46
I was really born of
Satan and I really believe that.
00:15:12.49\00:15:16.05
I'm part of Satan's seed because
I can't get a handle on this
00:15:16.08\00:15:18.93
thing and so I
went down that road.
00:15:18.96\00:15:21.67
Of course it got worse.
00:15:21.70\00:15:23.48
I know it led to you have
a relationship with a crack
00:15:23.52\00:15:27.01
addict and it really
did get worse for you.
00:15:27.04\00:15:29.87
Lots of escorts, a guy
introduced me to Escort X.
00:15:29.90\00:15:33.49
I really got lonesome,
desperately lonesome and
00:15:33.52\00:15:37.05
I stopped drinking for a while,
but I got really lonesome.
00:15:37.08\00:15:39.85
I was shy, I couldn't meet
anybody, so I thought I would
00:15:39.89\00:15:42.74
have a drink and I didn't
realize that I was an alcoholic
00:15:42.78\00:15:45.56
even at 40, so my drinks were
doubles and I would have six or
00:15:45.60\00:15:49.23
seven doubles, drinking
a fifth every other day.
00:15:49.26\00:15:52.15
When I drank, the next
thing you know I would be like,
00:15:52.19\00:15:57.06
how would you say it, desperate.
00:15:57.10\00:16:01.02
I would find myself in
this desperate situation.
00:16:01.05\00:16:03.24
So I let this guy, that was
at the club, live with me and
00:16:03.27\00:16:05.85
he said, Heh, we don't
have to sit here alone.
00:16:05.89\00:16:07.71
I said really, he said no
we can have some girls come
00:16:07.75\00:16:10.07
over, girls come over
what are you talking about?
00:16:10.11\00:16:12.36
We can actually have a girl
for a $100 bucks or $150 bucks.
00:16:12.39\00:16:16.81
I said really.
00:16:16.85\00:16:18.36
I can imagine with that
much loneliness and the stuff
00:16:18.39\00:16:20.30
you came from, that
sounded great to you.
00:16:20.33\00:16:24.78
Of course I really want
that and wanted that forever.
00:16:24.81\00:16:29.66
I drink because of that.
00:16:29.69\00:16:31.08
Yes, I was totally desperate,
and what I didn't realize was
00:16:31.12\00:16:35.73
that I was moving down this
progressively degrading path.
00:16:35.77\00:16:39.88
- I think a lot addicts don't
know, and I hate to use your
00:16:39.91\00:16:43.99
testimony for such teaching
moments, but a lot of us
00:16:44.02\00:16:47.49
don't know that when we
grab something that is not real
00:16:47.53\00:16:50.97
life, I pay $150 bucks
for somebody to spend the
00:16:51.00\00:16:53.77
evening, and when they leave
I know that none of that was
00:16:53.81\00:16:56.33
real, and there is a brief
reaction that is even worse.
00:16:56.36\00:16:59.76
So it is like this rebound
thing that trashes us even
00:16:59.80\00:17:03.33
more, because now I know
that I even will stoop to this.
00:17:03.36\00:17:06.85
Yes! - it's crazy. - yes.
00:17:06.89\00:17:09.83
I still want to say to
you that there is a part of me
00:17:09.87\00:17:12.57
that wants to say I'm
sorry for all that, because you
00:17:12.61\00:17:15.28
went through some tragic stuff.
00:17:15.31\00:17:17.32
What started to
turn that around for you?
00:17:17.36\00:17:20.41
It sounds like it just
keeps getting more intense,
00:17:20.45\00:17:23.22
it just keeps getting worse.
00:17:23.25\00:17:24.33
It finally came to its
end I had several escorts that
00:17:24.36\00:17:28.37
I paid for and it was like
you said, at the end of the
00:17:28.40\00:17:32.38
session, so to speak,
you'd just be out money.
00:17:32.41\00:17:35.12
There was nothing lasting,
there was no love and you
00:17:35.16\00:17:38.10
started to see it for that.
00:17:38.13\00:17:39.68
Even though the women
started to change, at first they
00:17:39.71\00:17:43.56
smelled good and looked good.
00:17:43.59\00:17:45.30
After a while they
started feeling dirty, you could
00:17:45.34\00:17:49.12
smell them and it was
turning into a disgusting odor.
00:17:49.15\00:17:53.20
Honestly! So at the end I
met a girl who was an escort
00:17:53.23\00:17:57.25
that wanted to quit.
00:17:57.28\00:17:59.17
She wanted to
quit her profession.
00:17:59.20\00:18:00.65
- that's not you
is it? - no, I wasn't.
00:18:00.68\00:18:03.82
I'm sorry go ahead,
I'm like you look so sweet.
00:18:03.86\00:18:07.93
So she had a couple kids
and I moved her out of this very
00:18:11.14\00:18:13.68
rough neighborhood, it
was full of crack addicts and
00:18:13.72\00:18:16.06
heroine addicts, and I was
rescuing this family from this
00:18:16.09\00:18:20.39
thing and I moved them out.
00:18:20.42\00:18:21.79
She resented me, hated me
and I did know at the time she
00:18:21.83\00:18:24.87
was say crack addict.
00:18:24.90\00:18:26.56
She would disappear
for four days at a time.
00:18:26.60\00:18:28.32
Within a short
while I lost everything.
00:18:28.36\00:18:31.09
I lost my home,
my cars, everything.
00:18:31.12\00:18:33.78
Literally I was just
walking down the road.
00:18:33.81\00:18:35.78
What I can say about the
sexual addiction was that it
00:18:35.82\00:18:39.90
was progressive,
it does lead into.
00:18:39.93\00:18:42.43
The porn flips around and
you get into different types
00:18:42.47\00:18:46.30
of porn, and different
magazines, and different things,
00:18:46.33\00:18:50.12
and then you move into
you wanting the real thing.
00:18:50.16\00:18:52.15
So once you have the real thing,
then that came to it's end for
00:18:52.19\00:18:55.59
me. - the real thing
that's not the real thing?
00:18:55.63\00:18:58.06
Yes! - because what
you wanted was connection?
00:18:58.10\00:19:00.46
You want connection and love
and it wasn't there, I saw it.
00:19:00.50\00:19:03.62
I finally had a girlfriend,
regular girlfriend at the end
00:19:03.66\00:19:06.75
that said, I'm here for
you and you are here for me.
00:19:06.78\00:19:10.10
I said okay, it was just
sex and I thought this girl is
00:19:10.13\00:19:13.41
using me for sex
and I was freaked out.
00:19:13.45\00:19:16.34
I thought she doesn't want
me, she doesn't want me for
00:19:16.38\00:19:19.08
me, so I would take her
out to a nice restaurant.
00:19:19.12\00:19:21.30
She said I told you
don't look at me like that,
00:19:21.34\00:19:23.56
if you look at me with
that love look in your eyes
00:19:23.59\00:19:25.77
I will throw you
away, don't do that.
00:19:25.81\00:19:28.94
We are just here for this.
00:19:28.97\00:19:30.22
I thought, so the
last time she came over,
00:19:30.26\00:19:32.40
she got undressed and I
wasn't there, I was done.
00:19:32.43\00:19:37.88
I was done with my addiction,
it has literally ran its
00:19:37.92\00:19:42.23
course, I hate to say
that for me it took magazines,
00:19:42.26\00:19:45.92
down to this, down to
that, down to the escorts until
00:19:45.96\00:19:49.58
finally I said, this isn't love.
00:19:49.62\00:19:51.84
To me, the most incredible
thing for me about recovery
00:19:51.88\00:19:57.51
is that when we decide to
get our needs met by an object
00:19:57.55\00:20:01.86
or an event, to buy a hooker,
buy drugs, by stealing, by
00:20:01.89\00:20:06.16
gambling, by what ever,
workaholism, when we decide
00:20:06.20\00:20:10.03
to get our needs met by
that, is that we are not stupid,
00:20:10.06\00:20:13.04
we know that at the end of
the day that no needs were met.
00:20:13.08\00:20:16.38
The grief reaction, the stuff
that happens is tremendously
00:20:16.41\00:20:20.26
intense, the pain we are
left with at the end of 20 years
00:20:20.29\00:20:24.10
is what we're left with.
00:20:24.13\00:20:25.81
- even more desperate! -
more desperate and that is why
00:20:25.84\00:20:29.91
I think, for me, at 12 step
groups says that you finally
00:20:29.94\00:20:33.97
realize I am powerless here.
00:20:34.00\00:20:35.77
I don't even know what to
do, I do not know where to move
00:20:35.80\00:20:39.37
from here, I don't
know how to do it anymore.
00:20:39.41\00:20:41.76
It's like every substance,
alcohol, sex addiction,
00:20:41.80\00:20:44.58
it's all just an illusion,
it is all a dead end road.
00:20:44.61\00:20:47.72
It is part of our flesh,
it's part of experiencing this,
00:20:47.75\00:20:50.82
but they all leave us
very empty and hopeless and
00:20:50.86\00:20:53.32
desperate. - definitely!
00:20:53.35\00:20:54.47
So I like to have a break,
but before we have a break
00:20:54.51\00:20:58.93
I want you to
introduce your wife to us.
00:20:58.97\00:21:01.47
Tell us how did you
get from that desperate
00:21:01.51\00:21:03.98
place to being married?
00:21:04.02\00:21:06.88
This is my wife Angela.
00:21:06.91\00:21:09.70
So Angela you just heard
all that what you think of it?
00:21:09.74\00:21:13.31
I know it seems crazy that
I have no bad feelings to be
00:21:13.34\00:21:16.04
married to a husband who
has been through all this.
00:21:16.07\00:21:18.76
I think what it is, is
that I admire him with all my
00:21:18.79\00:21:21.41
heart that he has overcome
this and he has surrendered to
00:21:21.45\00:21:24.82
God to such depth that he
would let God heal this in him.
00:21:24.85\00:21:28.19
- so you met him in recovery?
00:21:29.82\00:21:31.35
I met him when he was
fairly well surrendered and when
00:21:31.39\00:21:35.73
I prayed with him the
first time, I could sense
00:21:35.77\00:21:39.14
positively the
Holy Spirit so strong.
00:21:39.17\00:21:41.68
I thought wow, he's really
rough, he's a rough diamond,
00:21:41.72\00:21:45.60
but he is
precious beyond belief.
00:21:45.63\00:21:47.94
I could sense that strong
Holy Spirit and it touched me.
00:21:47.97\00:21:52.21
I thought that was really
amazing and as we grew together
00:21:52.24\00:21:55.97
and I saw him change more
and more, still to this very
00:21:56.01\00:21:59.96
day, the surrendering to
God got stronger and more often,
00:21:59.99\00:22:03.70
more situational where he
surrendered each situation.
00:22:03.73\00:22:07.52
I saw him growing and I
just well over with joy for what
00:22:07.56\00:22:11.31
God can do, because
what He did in my life
00:22:11.34\00:22:13.20
was just as crazy.
00:22:13.23\00:22:14.68
What He did for Dan
I stand in awe of God,
00:22:14.71\00:22:18.41
because how could this be?
00:22:18.45\00:22:20.02
God loves even this thing
and He can turn it around.
00:22:20.06\00:22:24.78
Wow, I just well up with
joy and talk about him every day
00:22:24.81\00:22:28.87
at my job, and about his
surrender and overcoming.
00:22:28.91\00:22:32.50
What is funny to me as I
listen to this, I think she
00:22:32.53\00:22:36.09
adores you. - I adore her too.
00:22:36.12\00:22:38.98
What happens is I think
amazing, I'm looking at this
00:22:39.02\00:22:43.20
little boy at five that
didn't have anybody seeing him,
00:22:43.23\00:22:47.38
been throughout your life
saying I didn't have anybody.
00:22:47.42\00:22:50.39
I drink because of that
loneliness, I paid someone to
00:22:50.42\00:22:53.21
be with me, and then God
sends somebody to you that
00:22:53.25\00:22:56.15
just adores you, how
fun is that? - What a gift.
00:22:56.18\00:22:59.02
We are going to take a
break and come back and find out
00:22:59.05\00:23:03.28
from Angela, first of all
where she came from, but I know
00:23:03.31\00:23:07.04
that part of the healing
here was to deal with both of
00:23:07.07\00:23:10.77
them with their
codependency issues.
00:23:10.80\00:23:14.04
Dan from back when he was a
little boy and you will have
00:23:14.08\00:23:16.86
to come back and find out
who Angela is and what stuff
00:23:16.90\00:23:19.65
she brought to the table.
00:23:19.68\00:23:21.23
Be right back!
00:23:21.26\00:23:22.45