Welcome to Celebrating
Life In Recovery, I'm Cheri.
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Today I'm going to introduce
you to a guy they call the
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buzzard because if he is around
it mean something is dead.
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Welcome, so this season is
exciting to me because we're
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talking about a
number of things.
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One of them is maintenance,
so I'm going to recap what
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we've done on other
seasons, at other times.
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When I stop a drug, when I
stopped sexually acting out,
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when I stop an addiction of
any kind, when I decide that
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I'm actually going to
turn my life over to God
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and let Him heal me.
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When I get to that point
with whatever the issue is,
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it's like, how
do I explain this?
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It's like buying a ticket to
a program, we've talked about
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this before, if I'm going
to go to a theater and see a
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movie, I first
have to buy a ticket.
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Stopping the addiction is
like buying a ticket, it is not
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the movie, you know what I mean.
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We have got to get that so
clear, it is not the movie.
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Is the ticket to get in, so
stopping our addiction is the
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ticket to get in and then as
we start to step into that part,
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I'm outside of my addiction
most of us, I'm going to
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talk about myself, I
don't know how to stand.
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I don't know how to
think, I don't know how to act.
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When someone says act
normal, I don't know what that
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means, what do you
mean by that I've been
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an addict for a long time.
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What ever addiction
means to you, I've been
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that for a long time.
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So you step into
this part of addiction and
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do this transition
thing, that I am no longer
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an addict, I'm no longer
running to my addictions.
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I'm going to go over my
list of things that is important
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to know about this.
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The transition part, I'm
going to transition into that
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freedom from addiction.
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Part of the transition is
that I am going to actually
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start to bargain first.
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We'll maybe I could do just
a little bit of the addiction.
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Maybe I could just
act out on weekends.
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I could do all that
stuff, so you transition and get
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through that stage and
you realize that if it is bad
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for you, is bad for you.
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Even a little bit
is bad, a lot is worse,
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but it is bad for you.
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The next one is
stabilization, I love this.
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Just imagine that I am not
steady on my feet and I start
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to stabilize, that
is part of the process.
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Early recovery is that I'm
going to change my attitudes
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and beliefs about the addiction.
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So changing your attitudes
and beliefs about the addiction
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is, I used to think the
only way that I was going to get
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through life, the only
way that I didn't want to die,
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the only way I can
socialize as is if I was high.
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I really believed that, I
started doing drugs at 12.
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Whatever your addiction is,
and when you start, you really
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believe that this is the
only way to deal with stress.
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Well I had to change that,
I had to learn different ways.
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So early recovery is
just changing the beliefs and
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attitudes about the addiction.
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If you are having eating
disorders, if you are a food
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addict, to eat a $160 worth
of food in one setting is going
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to damage you, the
weight and all that stuff.
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So you start look at the
issue and realize that I have to
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change my
beliefs about that issue.
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It is huge!
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The next one in recovery is
that I am going to repair the
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damage that was
caused by my addiction.
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Sometimes, we could just trash
ourselves and other people.
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It really is a time at
looking at repairing the damage
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I've caused a my own
life and in the lives of other
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people and all its stuff.
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I'm going to start doing that.
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I'm going to evaluate some
goals, what do I want in my
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life? And that is a
scary place for some people.
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For me it was real scary is
that I never did dare to dream
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about anything, when I
looked at myself I looked at
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myself as a damaged
child, an unwanted child,
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I was illiterate at 23, I
don't know how to do anything,
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I look at myself as all that.
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God, and the people around
me that are brought into my
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life, started
speaking truth into my life.
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Your incredible, look at you.
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I love to sit
and laugh with you.
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When people would say
that it would hit me, who me?
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I really don't have
anything, no I love you.
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So it is reevaluating
that and the middle part of
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recovery is so fun, you really
start to accept the changes
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made in your life,
maybe, maybe I can have a life.
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I want to tell
you that I just wept.
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When people read Jeremiah
29:11 that God had a plan for
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my life and a future, He
really wanted to stand up.
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He delights in my recovery,
Zephaniah says He sings over me.
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I just wanted to
cry because I thought,
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are you kidding me? I am
just an addict, God said no,
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you have never been just
an addict, you are My child.
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You are everything to Me.
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Even people that you
gather around you at this
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point in your life, you
want to gather round people that
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would just tell you
the truth about that.
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Late recovery, and
this is the funniest part.
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I can't even tell you
how amazing this part is.
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Late recovery says, that
I am going to see myself as
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something other than what
I have seen myself my whole
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life, I'm going to see
myself not as a unwanted child,
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But as a woman fully
capable of taking on life.
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Fully capable of doing
whatever God calls me to do.
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Whatever I choose to
do, fully capable of that.
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I think for a lot of
addicts we stop at the fact that
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we are clean, and I think
all of heaven says don't stop
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there because I
know who you are.
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I know how you laugh out
loud, I know the things you are
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going to do in your life,
I know the things that are
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going to wake up your passion
so that you can literally
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wake up in the morning
anticipating an incredible day,
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changing the lives of
the people around you.
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So late recovery is building
depth and meaning into your
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life, for a lot of
addicts we don't get there.
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I'm begging you, get there.
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But this season we are
not talking about that we are
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talking about maintenance.
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Maintenance is a fun thing,
so now I have gone through
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those transitions, transition
and stabilization in early
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recovery, middle recovery
and have gone through that.
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So now I'm getting into
a place where I'm going to
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maintain my recovery.
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So what do I do to do that,
part of maintenance, what it
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means is that I'm going to
learn to enjoy the journey.
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Not the journey from
addictions, because we have
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dealt with that,
but the journey in life.
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I'm going to celebrate life.
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Part of what this program
was called, Celebrating Life
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In Recovery is because every
addiction has to get to the
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point where you are
on your feet looking up.
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You have people around you
that are amazing and they will
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help you celebrate who you
are, who God is, what life is
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about and so that is
this part of maintenance.
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We are going to talk about
that, the book for this season
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even talks about that,
Shelley Quinn's new book called,
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'Pressing In', we are going
to learn how to communicate
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with God and really pray
and take advantage of everything
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that God wants to pour into you.
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God has got a ton of
stuff He wants to teach you,
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especially if you have never
been taught who you are and
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how valuable you are.
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God says let me have at you
everyday and I will show you
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exactly who you are.
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This last time we want to
look at on almost a daily basis,
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this maintenance
stage on a daily basis.
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I want to look at what happened
today, know what I mean?
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I am all of a sudden, I've
been there, I work with addicts
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all the time, and
sometimes I will be working with
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somebody and my mouth
tastes these chemicals and I'm
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starting to itch and I'm
thinking what just happened?
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With a person's high I start
to really smell and take on
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that, the addict in
me, I even stand different.
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Like, you know dude and pretty
soon I want to get high and
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I'm getting
triggered with all that stuff.
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So in this maintenance
thing, if that happens to you,
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literally look at that,
and don't be afraid of that.
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What just happened? I know
that I was around an addict
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and smell the drug again
and I'm starting to get tempted.
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People with sexual addiction,
it could be somebody walked
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by, they have a sexy outfit
on, or if it is a guy they
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have these tight clothes
on, or they smiled at you,
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what ever it is the point
where the addict jumps up again.
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Hey, remember me? You
just have to say wait, stop.
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At that point saying stop
is really saying to yourself
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that I want to reevaluate
that, as soon as it happens.
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I do not want to be afraid
of it, nor think that it's
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never going to happen,
turn that over right away.
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For some people in some
recovery groups they will say,
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I will call my sponsor.
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If you do not have a
sponsor, God is right there,
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you can call Him.
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Sponsors, friends,
pastors, people that love you.
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In this stage you just realize
that you can call someone.
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Maintenance is just doing
that, maintain everyday stuff.
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I believe more than
anything is to get into a place
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where I understand prayer
and communication with God.
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I know, and some people
think it is a lame thing to say,
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especially be don't have
a relationship with God yet.
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I know that God is for me.
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I can struggle with something
and not even know how I am
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going to get out
from underneath it.
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I turn it over to Him and
all of a sudden, not only have
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I turned it over to Him, but
I get this feeling or thought
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exactly what to do
with it, it's brilliant.
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So I know it is not from me.
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It's brilliant and it is God,
the Holy Spirit steps in and
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says Cheri why don't
you think about this?
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Or do this, or talk to
this person and literally I can
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turn it over right away.
00:10:32.49\00:10:34.00
There is an acronym I want
to give you before we go on
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to the next segment.
00:10:36.23\00:10:37.34
If you have a pen, write
it down, if you don't write
00:10:37.38\00:10:40.33
it down the show
will come on again,
00:10:40.36\00:10:43.55
you can buy it or whatever.
00:10:43.58\00:10:44.78
The acronym is RADAR.
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I want you to remember
in maintenance stage radar.
00:10:46.45\00:10:49.75
The R stands for
recognize when you're stuck.
00:10:49.79\00:10:52.83
Recognize when you are acting
out, in this stage life is
00:10:52.86\00:10:56.30
going on and I'm
learning all these new things.
00:10:56.33\00:10:58.76
I am starting to celebrate
my journey in a healthier life,
00:10:58.79\00:11:02.49
I don't want to say normal
anymore because I think normal
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is over rated, I see people
around me that have normalize
00:11:05.58\00:11:08.36
and they are miserable, so
I'm talking about celebrating
00:11:08.39\00:11:11.13
life, literally
finding your passion.
00:11:11.17\00:11:12.83
So recognize when you're
stuck and except that, don't be
00:11:12.86\00:11:15.92
afraid of that just
except that and detach from it.
00:11:15.95\00:11:18.65
When I say detach from it,
detach from it by turning it
00:11:18.68\00:11:21.95
over to God, just tell Him
I can't do this, I don't know
00:11:21.98\00:11:25.17
what direction, call someone
you love, call your parents,
00:11:25.20\00:11:28.91
call your best friend, call
your Pastor, get in touch with
00:11:28.95\00:11:32.63
somebody who has gone through
this before, they ahead of you
00:11:32.67\00:11:36.32
and turn it over.
00:11:36.35\00:11:37.55
Accept help from the people
you turn it over to, accept help
00:11:37.59\00:11:42.28
from the church, accept
help from God accept help
00:11:42.31\00:11:44.73
from your sponsor.
00:11:44.77\00:11:46.49
That means that I'm not
going to even try to figure out
00:11:46.53\00:11:48.99
what is happening right now,
I'm going to accept what you
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say to me right now.
00:11:51.48\00:11:53.19
Really you want to
find people that you really
00:11:53.22\00:11:55.55
respect their own walk.
00:11:55.59\00:11:57.15
Then the last thing,
and I hate this, do it!
00:11:57.18\00:12:00.50
When they tell you
to do something, do it.
00:12:00.53\00:12:03.78
Even if it feels uncomfortable,
if it feels uncomfortable
00:12:03.82\00:12:07.20
it doesn't matter.
00:12:07.24\00:12:11.55
If I wanted to learn to
swim, and I'm thinking I want to
00:12:11.58\00:12:17.54
learn to swim, so
Michael Phelps calls me up.
00:12:17.57\00:12:21.18
If you don't know who he
is, a swimmer, he has won Gold
00:12:21.22\00:12:25.15
medals in
everything he's ever done.
00:12:25.18\00:12:27.39
I think I saw him one time
with 7 different medals on.
00:12:27.42\00:12:29.54
He calls me up and says, Cheri I
heard you want to learn to swim?
00:12:29.57\00:12:34.54
I'm thinking wow, because
I'm so going to learn because
00:12:34.57\00:12:38.89
this is Michael
Phelps, he's amazing.
00:12:38.92\00:12:40.90
He says I want to teach
you, I want to teach you.
00:12:40.93\00:12:45.48
He tells me I will
write down everything you need
00:12:45.52\00:12:50.03
to know and send
you some letters.
00:12:50.06\00:12:53.00
Excuse me Michael, I'm not
sure because aren't you going to
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come and teach me?
00:12:59.65\00:13:00.99
Aren't you going to jump into
the pool somewhere so you can
00:13:01.03\00:13:03.09
show me these things?
00:13:03.12\00:13:04.09
No, I'll just
send you some letters.
00:13:04.10\00:13:05.82
There is no way
to learn that way,
00:13:05.86\00:13:07.64
there is no way to learn.
00:13:07.67\00:13:09.00
Even if somebody knows
everything and decides to teach
00:13:09.04\00:13:12.55
you but you never get in the
water, you never start moving
00:13:12.59\00:13:16.07
around to know what it
feels like to be in the water
00:13:16.10\00:13:18.68
you will never change.
00:13:18.71\00:13:19.87
So when somebody tells you,
have them show you, have them
00:13:19.91\00:13:22.60
do hands-on if you have
to, but definitely you have to
00:13:22.63\00:13:25.85
have action, So the last
part is to respond with action.
00:13:25.88\00:13:28.94
Do something, change your
life, feel what it feels like.
00:13:28.97\00:13:31.99
I have attachment
disorders and bonding disorders.
00:13:32.03\00:13:34.92
I do not know how to
socialize so I had to put myself
00:13:34.95\00:13:37.81
through a lot in
social situations.
00:13:37.85\00:13:39.68
The last part of this
radar is respond with action,
00:13:39.71\00:13:42.52
actually do it and enjoy
your life and live fully,
00:13:42.55\00:13:45.28
out loud, enjoy being in
your own skin and let God bring
00:13:45.32\00:13:48.94
changes into your life that
you will stand years from now
00:13:48.98\00:13:52.48
and look back and say I had
no idea that He could actually
00:13:52.52\00:13:55.99
change me in this way.
00:13:56.03\00:13:57.27
I think that is the coolest
part of this whole thing.
00:13:57.30\00:14:00.08
We are going to come right back.
00:14:00.11\00:14:01.43
The person you are going
to meet is called the buzzard.
00:14:01.47\00:14:06.48
It's going to be, fun
you have to stay with us!
00:14:06.52\00:14:09.78