What I am going to love
about this program is just
00:00:14.85\00:00:18.34
presenting the fact as
couples we are never in
00:00:18.37\00:00:21.79
the same place, I mean
you may be, but I travel all
00:00:21.82\00:00:24.81
over the country,
all over the world now.
00:00:24.84\00:00:27.54
I meet people that
one person is Christian
00:00:27.58\00:00:30.24
and one person is not.
00:00:30.28\00:00:31.37
One person is in
recovery, and one person that is
00:00:31.40\00:00:33.50
kind of in recovery.
00:00:33.54\00:00:34.90
And there are all
different levels so I was really
00:00:34.94\00:00:37.84
excited when Brad agreed
to come on the program and
00:00:37.87\00:00:40.74
share our journey.
00:00:40.77\00:00:42.09
I'm afraid of what stories
he will tell, but you know
00:00:42.13\00:00:44.94
I'm leaving that in God's hands.
00:00:44.98\00:00:46.56
I want to just say Brad
thank you so much for being
00:00:46.60\00:00:49.15
on the program, and I
know personally what we have
00:00:49.18\00:00:51.70
been through together.
00:00:51.74\00:00:52.74
What you have been through
just in your own salvation.
00:00:52.78\00:00:55.81
And because you were not
in the spiritual stuff for the
00:00:55.85\00:00:58.85
first years of our marriage.
00:00:58.89\00:01:01.47
So I want you to just let
people know who you are, where
00:01:01.51\00:01:05.28
you came from, a little
bit about how we met, because
00:01:05.32\00:01:10.36
that is so romantic, and
what brought you to a place
00:01:10.40\00:01:14.89
where religion or Christ
or God was even something
00:01:14.93\00:01:19.39
you were interested in.
00:01:19.42\00:01:20.81
Well I am so excited to
be here, it is just amazing.
00:01:20.84\00:01:24.56
It is really fascinating
when I think about God working
00:01:24.60\00:01:28.29
in my life, and knowing
that He totally brought us
00:01:28.32\00:01:31.78
together and it is really
crazy because we come from
00:01:31.82\00:01:35.21
opposite ends of the spectrum,
I mean just opposite ends.
00:01:35.24\00:01:38.63
I was as a Boy Scout, my
dad was a Research Engineer
00:01:38.67\00:01:41.83
for the US government and
served as an Ambassador to
00:01:41.87\00:01:45.00
Bangladesh on a
temporary basis once.
00:01:45.03\00:01:47.04
My mom was a concert
violinist for 50 years in the
00:01:47.07\00:01:50.84
Madison Symphony orchestra.
00:01:50.87\00:01:52.65
Bringing just basic middle
American was my life and that
00:01:52.68\00:01:58.42
He put us together
was pretty amazing.
00:01:58.45\00:02:00.77
- When I first met your
folks I was scared to death.
00:02:00.81\00:02:03.58
I knew there was nothing in
my background that they would
00:02:03.62\00:02:07.31
even be excited about.
00:02:07.35\00:02:08.66
So we were from two different
places, and I am saying that
00:02:08.69\00:02:13.03
but, I know your folks love me.
00:02:13.07\00:02:15.09
Oh yeah, oh yeah you kidding,
they love you like crazy.
00:02:15.12\00:02:18.90
So it was really interesting
and I had been raised in a
00:02:18.94\00:02:22.35
Methodist environment and
did the confirmation thing in
00:02:22.38\00:02:25.76
ninth grade and after
that I was pretty much done
00:02:25.80\00:02:27.77
with going to church
because I was confirmed and
00:02:27.81\00:02:29.75
it was all good,
right? I'm good to go.
00:02:29.78\00:02:31.77
When we met I was not practicing
anything, I did believe
00:02:31.80\00:02:36.46
in God per se but I was
not going to any church or
00:02:36.49\00:02:40.59
Bible study in any
way, shape, or form.
00:02:40.63\00:02:43.70
So it has been interesting
to watch God work in my life,
00:02:43.74\00:02:46.70
to bring me to this place
where I am sitting here on this
00:02:46.73\00:02:49.34
show talking to you and excited
about the fact that we are
00:02:49.38\00:02:51.95
starting to work
together. - right!
00:02:51.98\00:02:53.47
That God is standing you up?
00:02:53.50\00:02:54.92
- oh, in a big
way. In a big way.
00:02:54.96\00:02:57.04
There were so many years
in our relationship that I was
00:02:57.07\00:03:02.16
doing Ministry and you
were not even into that.
00:03:02.20\00:03:05.08
So for couples who have that
kind of experience, what was
00:03:05.12\00:03:09.35
that like for you?
00:03:09.39\00:03:10.36
I know what it was like for
me, - I know what it was like
00:03:10.39\00:03:12.46
for you. - it was horrible.
00:03:12.50\00:03:15.00
- Tell me, I'm sorry.
I'll try to maintain myself.
00:03:15.03\00:03:18.42
It is really interesting for
me looking back on it because
00:03:18.45\00:03:22.89
I think the biggest changes
for me probably happened in the
00:03:22.93\00:03:27.66
say last two years, three
years in terms of just suddenly
00:03:27.70\00:03:32.39
understanding what that is.
00:03:32.43\00:03:33.57
You even told me, God is
telling me you are going to be
00:03:33.61\00:03:35.99
involved with this, in
fact you're going to be running
00:03:36.03\00:03:38.38
this, I'm like, get
out of town, are you sure?
00:03:38.42\00:03:41.47
What was really interesting
is I would pray God, he is
00:03:41.50\00:03:45.14
not even interested, and
God would be clear through the
00:03:45.17\00:03:48.57
Holy Spirit saying, one day
he is literally going to take
00:03:48.60\00:03:51.85
leadership of this Ministry
and leadership of your home.
00:03:51.88\00:03:55.08
I would look at you to get
you, well there was no way to
00:03:55.11\00:03:57.79
get you to pray, you were
just not interested in that nor
00:03:57.82\00:04:00.46
into that, so I would
look and say God, he is not,
00:04:00.49\00:04:03.83
he's not, and after five years,
then six years, then seven
00:04:03.87\00:04:09.40
years, after all that
time I was becoming very almost
00:04:09.43\00:04:13.91
discouraged that
would ever happen.
00:04:13.95\00:04:15.78
I'm so thrilled that I didn't
loose hope totally because
00:04:15.81\00:04:21.60
God was just after
you, He was after you.
00:04:21.64\00:04:25.10
That is the part
that is really funny,
00:04:25.13\00:04:28.52
do you remember Stan?
Stan worked on me for what,
00:04:28.56\00:04:31.86
five years. -
Pastor in the Napa church.
00:04:31.90\00:04:36.33
You should be baptized and
Blah, blah, blah and finally it
00:04:36.36\00:04:41.38
never happened with Stan.
00:04:41.42\00:04:43.79
It was finally at a
Revelation seminar at the
00:04:43.83\00:04:46.18
Cloverdale church
later on that I finally chose
00:04:46.21\00:04:48.53
to become an Adventist.
00:04:48.57\00:04:50.41
The path that God has walked
me through and the things that
00:04:50.45\00:04:53.92
He has shown both me and
you have been nothing short of
00:04:53.96\00:04:57.09
miracles along the way,
so that part is interesting.
00:04:57.13\00:05:00.21
I think what is really
exciting for me is starting to
00:05:00.25\00:05:03.26
understand what God intends
for me as the man of the family.
00:05:03.29\00:05:09.07
As the head of the
household. - spiritual leader!
00:05:09.10\00:05:11.76
- spiritual leader, yeah
and understanding what that
00:05:11.80\00:05:14.42
really is and
what He is expecting.
00:05:14.46\00:05:16.43
As I take that mantle on
an assume that place is what
00:05:16.47\00:05:20.80
happens to everything
underneath me including what
00:05:20.84\00:05:25.11
happens to my relationship
with you and that you wind up
00:05:25.14\00:05:28.13
starting to get what
you always hoped for.
00:05:28.17\00:05:30.15
What is really crazy is
that I start getting everything
00:05:30.18\00:05:32.62
I wanted too.
00:05:32.66\00:05:34.15
What do you mean by
that? That is a huge statement.
00:05:34.19\00:05:37.82
I know for me that after
years of being married to
00:05:37.85\00:05:41.41
somebody that wasn't into
any kind of spirituality, wasn't
00:05:41.44\00:05:44.15
into any of that stuff
that I thought I'm going
00:05:44.18\00:05:47.99
to get that healing in my
life with love and trust and
00:05:48.03\00:05:51.96
those kind of
things when God comes back.
00:05:51.99\00:05:54.04
When we are in heaven, I'm
not going to experience that
00:05:54.07\00:05:58.01
on earth and I was
really resigned to that.
00:05:58.05\00:06:00.06
Then on this planet I am
never going to fully heal in
00:06:00.10\00:06:04.95
that area, and all of a
sudden God is teaching us
00:06:04.98\00:06:09.80
something different.
- something different.
00:06:09.83\00:06:11.29
- Tell them about when we
went to the couple's, one of the
00:06:11.33\00:06:17.40
first things we did when
you come around spiritually.
00:06:17.43\00:06:20.44
We went to a couple's retreat.
00:06:20.47\00:06:23.44
He was like six
couples, maybe not even that,
00:06:23.47\00:06:25.86
four couples, we
spent the weekend together.
00:06:25.90\00:06:28.22
The jest of this was starting
to understand God's intent
00:06:28.25\00:06:33.97
in the man and woman's role.
00:06:34.00\00:06:36.11
The different things that
can happen in relationship to
00:06:36.15\00:06:38.54
that, and probably one of the
big things when the man doesn't
00:06:38.57\00:06:42.34
stand up and assume that
role is what takes place, how
00:06:42.37\00:06:45.72
entire families in generations
are left unprotected.
00:06:45.76\00:06:48.56
You don't have the covering
of God, you don't have that
00:06:48.59\00:06:51.36
umbrella protection
and it is a funny thing.
00:06:51.39\00:06:54.36
We've all see situations,
well what was the matter with
00:06:54.40\00:06:58.27
that kid, his dad messed
up and the kid in that whole
00:06:58.30\00:07:02.14
family is just a mess.
00:07:02.17\00:07:03.50
You start to understand if
there isn't a leader at the top
00:07:03.53\00:07:08.51
at the head of the
household, they are unprotected.
00:07:08.55\00:07:12.07
- you are talking about a
leader that is praying for them,
00:07:12.10\00:07:14.86
covering them,
teaching them right or wrong.
00:07:14.90\00:07:18.47
Who God is and
what the home is about.
00:07:18.51\00:07:21.77
- Exactly, and so this
retreat we were on explored that
00:07:21.81\00:07:26.38
area and allowed us to
open up some doors and take
00:07:26.41\00:07:29.88
a look at some
of the things I had.
00:07:29.91\00:07:32.09
I found out later on not
spiritually protected then I had
00:07:32.12\00:07:38.11
a father and a
mother who cared and loved.
00:07:38.15\00:07:39.76
I was starting to understand
that at least in that area
00:07:39.79\00:07:43.29
I had some covering and that
was something you didn't have.
00:07:43.32\00:07:47.06
Starting to understand what
that was, and what is really
00:07:47.10\00:07:50.11
cool is that God allows us
to come back in and reclaim
00:07:50.14\00:07:52.61
territory that has been
lost, we'll talk about that
00:07:52.65\00:07:55.08
a little more in a while.
00:07:55.12\00:07:56.33
It was be able to start to step
up and understand what you were
00:07:56.37\00:08:00.09
expecting from me
and to take that role.
00:08:00.13\00:08:02.64
I remember praying for
you and asking for forgiveness
00:08:02.68\00:08:06.24
both for my participation.
00:08:06.28\00:08:09.13
- Women are not going to hear
the whole story, he ended up
00:08:09.17\00:08:12.59
that he totally got it, that
as a man of God I don't know
00:08:12.62\00:08:16.01
if I've ever prayed for you.
00:08:16.05\00:08:17.20
I don't know if I have
ever, and all of a sudden we are
00:08:17.24\00:08:20.34
in with these other men
and women and other couples and
00:08:20.38\00:08:23.60
Brad looks up with his eyes
full of tears and walks over
00:08:23.63\00:08:26.80
and gets on his knees in front
of me, and he says will you
00:08:26.83\00:08:31.04
please forgive me? I just
wanted to fall and say I don't
00:08:31.08\00:08:35.30
know if anyone realizes it,
but for a woman who is damaged
00:08:35.34\00:08:39.53
for a man to come up and
say, I'm sorry for the lack.
00:08:39.56\00:08:43.23
Then he prayed and
everybody was in tears.
00:08:43.26\00:08:47.84
Then he said I know there
has been a lot of men in your
00:08:47.87\00:08:51.88
life that have wounded you
and even your family who are
00:08:51.92\00:08:55.40
not here to say they are
sorry so will you allow me to
00:08:55.44\00:08:58.89
ask you on their behalf?
00:08:58.93\00:09:01.28
Please forgive me
and please forgive them.
00:09:01.31\00:09:03.92
I just looked at him and had
no idea Brad, at that moment,
00:09:03.96\00:09:08.48
how much I needed that.
00:09:08.52\00:09:10.39
I had no idea that there
was all this protection from
00:09:10.43\00:09:14.12
years and years of abuse
and sadness that I needed
00:09:14.15\00:09:17.81
somebody, a man in my
life to say I'm sorry.
00:09:17.85\00:09:21.84
I looked at you just
felt the Holy Spirit bringing
00:09:21.88\00:09:26.47
healing, and it
was unbelievable.
00:09:26.50\00:09:28.30
I watched the
healing in your life.
00:09:28.33\00:09:30.06
It has really been a cool
adventure, that was in December,
00:09:30.09\00:09:34.19
almost 2 years ago.
00:09:34.23\00:09:36.18
Then baby steps, like I
said I'm a slow learner.
00:09:36.21\00:09:40.07
Talk about slow learners,
he was real excited one day
00:09:41.47\00:09:45.56
and saying Cheri faith is
important, and I don't remember,
00:09:45.59\00:09:50.11
Faith is important to just
know that God is going to be
00:09:50.14\00:09:54.07
there like when Moses got
out of the boat and walk across
00:09:54.10\00:09:57.39
the water to Jesus.
00:09:57.43\00:09:58.97
I was like, that wasn't
Moses hon, I don't think it was
00:09:59.01\00:10:03.01
Moses, no that was Peter.
00:10:03.05\00:10:04.42
It is funny because he
gets all the stories right
00:10:04.46\00:10:06.82
but all the names wrong.
00:10:06.86\00:10:08.18
I'm good, I'm
learning, I'm learning,
00:10:08.22\00:10:10.09
it's okay so it was really fun.
00:10:10.12\00:10:12.78
This is one of the things
that, again early on in our
00:10:12.81\00:10:15.63
relationship it was like
you said God told you, God is
00:10:15.67\00:10:18.45
not talking to me,
I don't hear anything.
00:10:18.49\00:10:21.99
- I don't even
know what that means.
00:10:22.02\00:10:23.61
- I don't even know what
that means and stuff so it
00:10:23.65\00:10:26.61
took me a while to start
to understand, okay maybe I am
00:10:26.64\00:10:29.10
not tuned in to the right
channel, that may be part of it.
00:10:29.13\00:10:32.58
When you start clearing
the cobwebs off the antenna and
00:10:32.62\00:10:36.03
maybe you will
start to hear stuff.
00:10:36.07\00:10:37.62
- tell them about the golf ball!
00:10:37.66\00:10:39.15
I've got another story
to tell. - well alright.
00:10:39.18\00:10:41.85
I'm just the wife.
00:10:43.31\00:10:45.16
So then the following
spring comes up and there is a
00:10:45.19\00:10:50.45
men's retreat at our church.
00:10:50.48\00:10:52.00
I had never been to a
Christian men's retreat at all.
00:10:52.03\00:10:55.98
So I went up there and it
was like okay, I'm trying to
00:10:56.01\00:10:59.52
listen and hear more, God
I want You to tell me about
00:10:59.56\00:11:03.04
my relationship with my wife.
00:11:03.07\00:11:04.67
I'm going to this men's
retreat to learn more because
00:11:04.70\00:11:07.77
I want to do better, I want
to be better at all of this.
00:11:07.81\00:11:10.84
The speakers are up
there and telling really great
00:11:10.88\00:11:14.05
testimonies and stuff, and
I'm sitting there going okay,
00:11:14.09\00:11:17.07
yeah, but that
wasn't it, that wasn't it.
00:11:17.10\00:11:21.02
So we went on a little
break and I came back in and my
00:11:21.06\00:11:24.48
friend Jack was there,
some thing happened with Jack
00:11:24.52\00:11:27.91
that he almost did not make it.
00:11:27.94\00:11:29.37
So I casually asked the
question, hey Jack, what
00:11:29.40\00:11:31.57
happened that
you didn't get here?
00:11:31.60\00:11:33.30
He started talking,
and as crazy as it sounds,
00:11:33.33\00:11:36.05
he mentioned one thing
and it was just a phrase.
00:11:36.08\00:11:38.73
He said I'm trying to do
this and that and it is really
00:11:38.76\00:11:41.65
a challenge to be the
iron fist in a velvet glove.
00:11:41.68\00:11:46.23
All of a sudden it was
like wham, that was it,
00:11:46.26\00:11:50.78
the message I needed to hear.
00:11:50.81\00:11:52.34
The iron fist from the
standpoint of this thing...
00:11:52.37\00:11:55.35
- how do you lead, gently.
00:11:55.38\00:11:58.03
Stand up and be the leader
and the man of God you are
00:11:58.06\00:12:02.84
supposed to be, but care
for and nurture and chase after
00:12:02.88\00:12:07.62
the heart of the
beauty, chase after the heart of
00:12:07.66\00:12:09.80
the woman you love and
all of a sudden it was like
00:12:09.83\00:12:11.94
Man, that was it.
00:12:11.97\00:12:13.48
I walked outside. - I
just want you to repeat that
00:12:13.52\00:12:17.43
again for people that,
women all over the world when
00:12:17.47\00:12:21.13
you said that, for a
man to chase after the heart
00:12:21.17\00:12:24.80
of a woman whom they
love is that most women
00:12:24.83\00:12:27.33
would die for that.
00:12:27.36\00:12:28.89
But for you to get that, that
is my position as her lover,
00:12:28.92\00:12:35.11
her husband to win her
heart everyday. - every day.
00:12:35.14\00:12:39.73
Talk more about that.
00:12:39.76\00:12:41.01
and I want to take notes.
00:12:43.78\00:12:45.67
I think it's really,
really, like getting stood up on
00:12:47.62\00:12:51.70
your head, or getting turned
upside down when you start
00:12:51.73\00:12:54.83
to understand that is one
of those things where we tend
00:12:54.87\00:12:58.18
to go through life thinking
I want this for my spouse and
00:12:58.21\00:13:02.66
boy I sure hope I get treated
like this and those things.
00:13:02.70\00:13:08.01
All of a sudden it became
really apparent like opposite
00:13:08.05\00:13:12.75
day, backwards day, if I
give you that, if I try to do
00:13:12.79\00:13:16.84
that for you the next thing
you know is that stuff starts
00:13:16.87\00:13:20.89
coming back and is
reflected back to you.
00:13:20.92\00:13:24.27
- in huge ways. - in
huge ways, in tenfold returns.
00:13:24.30\00:13:28.85
Starting to understand that
when you go to ask a question
00:13:28.89\00:13:33.65
or look for something,
where do you find those answers?
00:13:33.68\00:13:38.26
So you have been looking
at me for stuff that I didn't
00:13:38.30\00:13:42.66
know I was suppose to provide.
00:13:42.69\00:13:45.64
So therefore I wasn't
really providing it, but once I
00:13:45.68\00:13:49.73
started to, suddenly you
were getting what you wanted.
00:13:49.76\00:13:53.78
It really changed things around.
00:13:53.81\00:13:57.01
- what was really
interesting to me, and I didn't
00:13:57.05\00:13:59.09
really realize the lack, I
have to tell you that Brad.
00:13:59.13\00:14:02.68
I did not realize how much
I needed you to win my heart
00:14:02.72\00:14:05.80
everyday, and when you
started doing than in little
00:14:05.84\00:14:08.85
things I would turn around
to do something and you would
00:14:08.89\00:14:12.29
say can I pray for
you before you do that?
00:14:12.32\00:14:14.39
Or I am going to go in
and make something to eat,
00:14:14.42\00:14:17.54
and just little things
trying to win my heart.
00:14:17.58\00:14:20.52
All of a sudden I wanted
to do everything for you.
00:14:20.56\00:14:23.71
I wanted to make sure
that you knew that you were the
00:14:23.74\00:14:26.86
love of my life, I wanted
to make sure that you knew that
00:14:26.90\00:14:30.51
I wanted you to stand up
and be strong as a man of God,
00:14:30.55\00:14:34.13
and know who you are,
and hear the voice of God.
00:14:34.16\00:14:36.28
Everything I just wanted to
pour into you and it was just
00:14:36.32\00:14:40.13
simple things, but I
think as you got it, what was
00:14:40.17\00:14:43.67
amazing to me, was the healing
that happened in my life.
00:14:43.70\00:14:46.75
We were seeing someone,
one of the pastors we saw that
00:14:46.79\00:14:49.81
said, I believe, this
is an incredible thing.
00:14:49.84\00:14:53.51
I've done a lot of healing
through recovery, but the
00:14:53.54\00:14:56.96
pastors said, Brad, I
think those very deep wounds in
00:14:57.00\00:15:00.14
Cheri's life about not
being loved or fully trusting
00:15:00.18\00:15:03.82
someone, I believe God
saved all that healing for you.
00:15:03.86\00:15:07.47
To heal with you.
00:15:07.50\00:15:09.89
When I realized that I
thought that is so true.
00:15:09.92\00:15:13.56
I just started to cry and
you literally were in tears.
00:15:13.60\00:15:17.70
- it has been, it has
really been cool and I know you
00:15:17.74\00:15:21.81
will be okay
with me saying this.
00:15:21.84\00:15:23.10
- well I don't know.
00:15:23.14\00:15:25.27
We'll find out. -
will find out real soon.
00:15:25.30\00:15:27.19
I was sitting there, I
don't remember how many years
00:15:27.22\00:15:31.37
ago this was,
maybe five years ago.
00:15:31.41\00:15:33.66
We have been together at that
point 15 or 16 years looking
00:15:33.69\00:15:38.11
at it and Cheri someday
I'm hoping you really actually
00:15:38.15\00:15:41.59
love me and actually
trust me. - and let me love you.
00:15:41.63\00:15:45.04
- let me love you.
00:15:45.07\00:15:46.70
Your response was
well I'm still here.
00:15:46.74\00:15:49.59
- Not realizing that I
didn't know how to do that.
00:15:51.50\00:15:54.22
- that level of trust,
but I hadn't put myself in a
00:15:54.25\00:15:56.80
position and I hadn't
shown the leadership that
00:15:56.83\00:15:59.34
was deserving of that.
00:15:59.38\00:16:01.07
- isn't that interesting.
00:16:01.10\00:16:02.72
So our friend who was really
helpful in looking at a whole
00:16:02.76\00:16:06.62
bunch of things and exploring
things and people who are in
00:16:06.65\00:16:09.98
these relationships understand
when you get in an argument
00:16:10.02\00:16:12.53
and you wonder why you get
upset about that all the time,
00:16:12.57\00:16:15.05
will we get caught up in
the event of what happened
00:16:15.08\00:16:17.80
without realizing that
there is some kind of underlying
00:16:17.83\00:16:20.52
pain, there is some
hurt that I am ignoring and
00:16:20.55\00:16:24.62
don't really understand.
00:16:24.66\00:16:25.97
I see the event but don't
understand what is going on.
00:16:26.01\00:16:27.79
It is part of winning the heart
thing, it is understanding that.
00:16:27.83\00:16:29.95
- did I just
trigger some pain there?
00:16:29.99\00:16:32.33
Yeah what happened here and
let's try to figure that out.
00:16:32.36\00:16:35.90
I think one of the most
amazing things during these
00:16:35.94\00:16:38.98
sessions that we did
with this guy, was one time
00:16:39.01\00:16:42.02
I was talking about it again.
00:16:42.06\00:16:43.21
For you, going into those
places where you have some
00:16:43.25\00:16:46.73
really, really deep hurts,
and we were praying through
00:16:46.77\00:16:51.08
it and doing this process
and physically I felt this big
00:16:51.11\00:16:55.61
ball of darkness, it was
hurt and pain and stuff that
00:16:55.64\00:17:00.10
you were giving up.
00:17:00.14\00:17:01.38
It was the craziest
thing, I held it in my hands,
00:17:01.41\00:17:04.14
felt it in my hands and
I was able to give it up to
00:17:04.17\00:17:06.86
God and have it
be out of your life.
00:17:06.89\00:17:09.08
But what was interesting,
and I pray that people get to
00:17:09.11\00:17:14.94
experience this, as a woman
of God, when your husband or
00:17:14.97\00:17:19.67
spouse, you decided to
take on that role, I had been
00:17:19.70\00:17:24.36
walking with that
pain for my whole life.
00:17:24.39\00:17:26.10
Not having anyone who
would care about it, or even was
00:17:26.13\00:17:29.19
concerned about it, and you
looked at me and said I want
00:17:29.22\00:17:32.11
to take it from you, as
your husband, as your lover,
00:17:32.14\00:17:35.22
please give it to me and I
will give it to God and you
00:17:35.26\00:17:38.31
will never have to
sit with this again.
00:17:38.34\00:17:40.42
For whatever reason,
because of where you were,
00:17:40.45\00:17:43.32
I believed you and literally
in prayer gave it to you.
00:17:43.35\00:17:46.55
In the room you could
physically feel that, you could
00:17:46.58\00:17:49.93
physically feel it and I
walked out with so much joy
00:17:49.97\00:17:54.03
thinking that is it true
that maybe that God wants us
00:17:54.06\00:17:58.09
to heal completely here?
00:17:58.13\00:18:00.79
Not when we get to heaven,
not when we get on the other
00:18:00.83\00:18:03.52
side, He wants us to
heal full of joy and love
00:18:03.56\00:18:07.65
the people that we are with.
00:18:07.68\00:18:08.83
The only way to do that
really is when both people line
00:18:08.86\00:18:12.46
up in the best way that they
can in their damage and say,
00:18:12.50\00:18:16.07
God we are Yours.
00:18:16.10\00:18:18.36
- exactly, what was really
exciting for me was being in
00:18:18.39\00:18:22.76
place to, and this came
to me last night when I was
00:18:22.79\00:18:27.12
thinking okay I had on
my radio active suit...
00:18:27.15\00:18:30.38
- full armor of God. -
full armor of God so I could
00:18:30.42\00:18:33.47
hang onto this radioactive
material and not get hurt.
00:18:33.51\00:18:36.52
Had I not been
prepared for that a little bit,
00:18:38.25\00:18:40.54
I would not
have been as capable.
00:18:40.57\00:18:42.58
So to take a look at
that whole thing and have the
00:18:42.61\00:18:46.30
strength and protection
that He offers for that.
00:18:46.34\00:18:49.87
It is really interesting
as you grow spiritually,
00:18:49.91\00:18:53.37
I see you really connect
with the Holy Spirit and when
00:18:53.40\00:18:58.04
you pray for me it's different.
00:18:58.07\00:18:59.60
Your prayers are for healing,
God I want You to help her
00:18:59.63\00:19:05.84
be more confident, and
the insecurities of her past
00:19:05.88\00:19:08.53
fall away from
her, those things.
00:19:08.56\00:19:10.82
And as you pray, I'm
thinking who is this guy.
00:19:10.85\00:19:13.80
It is something, and I'm
just talking about for women,
00:19:15.04\00:19:19.34
most women want that their
whole life, for men in their
00:19:19.38\00:19:23.65
life to stand up and
just take those roles.
00:19:23.68\00:19:26.37
Not to be a leader in a
sense that you make all the
00:19:26.40\00:19:29.55
decisions and I would
just cow down whenever.
00:19:29.59\00:19:32.54
- right. - Sometimes I
feel like that with you,
00:19:32.58\00:19:35.77
I feel so loved that
you would never ask me to do
00:19:35.81\00:19:38.93
something that was not in
our best interest as a family.
00:19:38.97\00:19:43.11
It is a fun place to be,
but I think that we just don't
00:19:43.15\00:19:47.77
know the importance of all
that stuff, of a man standing
00:19:47.80\00:19:51.89
up and taking that position
of authority in the house.
00:19:51.93\00:19:54.87
I think one of the things
that is really interesting to
00:19:54.90\00:19:57.80
look at as a show
about recovery, right?
00:19:57.84\00:20:03.46
Were trying to decide
well I'm recovering from being
00:20:03.50\00:20:05.84
a spiritual wimp. -
and I didn't say that.
00:20:05.88\00:20:10.37
Different things, to
look at all that is like...
00:20:11.74\00:20:15.22
- and you, sorry for
interrupting but I always do.
00:20:15.26\00:20:19.76
No, you know for the first
part of our relationship it
00:20:19.79\00:20:24.22
was like praying with Jackie
or me taking any of that stuff,
00:20:24.26\00:20:27.65
all of a sudden, you are
literally standing up and
00:20:27.69\00:20:30.48
reclaiming everything
that the devil meant to destroy
00:20:30.52\00:20:33.28
our family with
for those early years.
00:20:33.32\00:20:35.76
This is the thing that
I'm speaking to the guys now,
00:20:35.79\00:20:39.72
you will be amazed at
what could happen when you
00:20:39.75\00:20:43.64
start to get dialed in.
00:20:43.67\00:20:45.40
In a couple cases in
point, sometimes I think we step
00:20:45.44\00:20:49.58
out in faith and not knowing,
we've talked about this,
00:20:49.62\00:20:53.18
I'm coming into the Ministry,
what are you going to do?
00:20:53.22\00:20:56.75
- I don't know. - I don't know.
00:20:56.78\00:20:59.79
But I believe that this
is what we are supposed to do
00:21:02.09\00:21:04.98
God, everything is happening
now because I have sent in
00:21:05.01\00:21:07.66
the box top and got the
decoder glasses and am starting
00:21:07.70\00:21:10.31
to understand the word
of God and understanding
00:21:10.35\00:21:12.01
He is talking to me.
00:21:12.04\00:21:13.40
- explain to me what
you mean by that for people
00:21:13.44\00:21:15.40
who do not know. - Don't know.
00:21:15.43\00:21:16.40
I always thought that,
how do you know God is real?
00:21:16.41\00:21:19.57
How do you know He is
there, and stuff like that.
00:21:19.61\00:21:22.78
It's the step of faith,
the first step is something you
00:21:22.81\00:21:27.12
have to take, it's like
you get a cereal box that says
00:21:27.15\00:21:31.66
oh, join our club and see
all the cool things in our club,
00:21:31.70\00:21:36.17
well you have to
send a box top in to
00:21:36.20\00:21:37.82
get the decoder glasses.
00:21:37.85\00:21:39.67
Once you put them on,
suddenly the message is clear
00:21:39.70\00:21:43.46
and you can read it.
00:21:43.49\00:21:44.60
It is like that
first step of faith.
00:21:44.64\00:21:47.02
- and the glasses
are, the Holy Spirit.
00:21:47.05\00:21:49.40
The Holy Spirit
and they are free.
00:21:49.43\00:21:50.77
It's free you don't even
have to send in the box top.
00:21:50.81\00:21:52.83
- It is an amazing thing.
00:21:52.87\00:21:54.18
So let me tell you
the story about George.
00:21:54.22\00:21:56.67
This was the part that
I just wasn't even aware.
00:21:56.70\00:21:59.63
- George is my uncle.
00:21:59.66\00:22:01.94
George is your uncle and
he passed not long ago without
00:22:01.98\00:22:05.63
going through all the dynamics,
basically your mom called
00:22:05.66\00:22:08.38
up and said you are not
welcome to come to the funeral.
00:22:08.42\00:22:11.10
- it's only for family.
00:22:11.14\00:22:12.34
It's only for family, like wait
a minute, how does that work?
00:22:12.37\00:22:14.85
But anyway you
were incredibly hurt.
00:22:14.88\00:22:18.41
I could see the pain in your
eyes and you were incredibly
00:22:18.44\00:22:22.71
hurt and so, like
okay, I'm supposed pray.
00:22:22.75\00:22:27.31
It was almost one of those
things that are going to do this
00:22:27.34\00:22:30.40
because I know I'm supposed to.
00:22:30.44\00:22:31.66
Not even knowing what is going
to happen, but I'm supposed
00:22:31.69\00:22:34.13
to, so I'm going to do
it, I accept that role.
00:22:34.16\00:22:37.93
So we prayed, I prayed
about it to take the pain,
00:22:37.97\00:22:41.70
to bring some
resolution to that.
00:22:41.73\00:22:43.18
- you know for men, men
just say things, I don't know.
00:22:45.97\00:22:50.07
It was actually
cooler than that.
00:22:50.10\00:22:51.99
I came in and I was so hurt.
00:22:54.09\00:22:56.35
- you were hurt I could see it.
00:22:56.38\00:22:58.56
Literally felt when you
came in and looked at me,
00:22:58.60\00:23:02.91
there was nothing that was
going to stop you from putting
00:23:02.94\00:23:05.59
your arms around me and
just praying until you felt that
00:23:05.63\00:23:08.24
wound and pain
lift a little bit.
00:23:08.27\00:23:11.21
It was the coolest thing to
realize, because we are still
00:23:11.25\00:23:14.49
pretty new at this, still
new with your walk with God.
00:23:14.52\00:23:18.08
And in taking leadership,
most of my life when I have had
00:23:18.12\00:23:21.30
a huge pain like that,
there was nobody to pick up the
00:23:21.33\00:23:24.48
pieces, not nobody
because God is amazing.
00:23:24.52\00:23:27.45
To have a husband, have someone
to come in and just hold you
00:23:28.91\00:23:32.20
until you felt a
change, that is what you did.
00:23:32.23\00:23:35.52
Your prayer was amazing
and then you walked out.
00:23:35.55\00:23:38.76
I walked out and we were
in the horse barn working on
00:23:38.80\00:23:42.31
that and you came out two
hours later and said my sister
00:23:42.35\00:23:45.75
just sent me an e-mail
that the Pastor who was supposed
00:23:45.78\00:23:50.06
to speak at the memorial
service backed out and they
00:23:50.10\00:23:54.34
would like you to
come down and present.
00:23:54.38\00:23:56.40
So within two hours of putting
this prayer up for my woman,
00:23:56.43\00:24:00.46
God comes in, I was stunned,
I was just stunned that,
00:24:00.50\00:24:04.58
get out, I'm supposed pray
for my family and protect my
00:24:04.62\00:24:09.48
family, and when I do as
the man of the family, great
00:24:09.51\00:24:14.33
things are going to happen.
00:24:14.37\00:24:15.54
- but to me I think is
that a lot of folks do not
00:24:15.57\00:24:19.36
realize the incredible
power behind that position.
00:24:19.39\00:24:23.11
For any of us to be able to
pray and God respond, but as
00:24:23.14\00:24:28.47
father, as husband, as
elder as whatever, your prayers
00:24:28.51\00:24:33.81
are important, they matter.
00:24:33.84\00:24:35.47
It is not just a token,
I'm going to come in and say
00:24:35.50\00:24:39.22
a few good words.
00:24:39.25\00:24:40.47
I think for some of us, we
do not realize we open all of
00:24:40.50\00:24:43.43
heaven opens up and
pours into your family when
00:24:43.47\00:24:46.39
you pray for them. -
exactly! - it's huge.
00:24:46.42\00:24:50.24
That covering is
something that is amazing.
00:24:50.27\00:24:54.02
It is something for me
where I have had to reclaim,
00:24:54.05\00:24:58.08
my dad passed a year
and a half ago at Christmas.
00:24:58.12\00:25:02.07
During the course of cleaning
out the basement and other
00:25:02.11\00:25:06.61
things, I learned things
about my father I didn't know.
00:25:06.64\00:25:10.72
I honestly didn't know, and
also through the stuff we've
00:25:10.75\00:25:13.93
done counseling wise in my
exploration and learning more
00:25:13.97\00:25:17.11
about, it's not that we
didn't go to church but did we
00:25:17.14\00:25:20.25
really have spiritual
covering in our household?
00:25:20.28\00:25:22.37
We did not, we weren't studying
the Bible, we weren't praying
00:25:22.41\00:25:25.90
daily, we weren't
doing those things,
00:25:25.94\00:25:27.92
we said grace at meals but
it is almost like perfunctory
00:25:27.95\00:25:31.36
thing and not a heartfelt
stuff where we were asking God
00:25:31.40\00:25:34.78
and the Holy
Spirit to lead our lives.
00:25:34.81\00:25:37.04
So in recovering and looking
at different things of my
00:25:37.08\00:25:40.92
issues, come on I was
a Boy Scout and stuff.
00:25:40.96\00:25:43.67
All of a sudden
realizing, a critical spirit,
00:25:43.71\00:25:46.39
foo that was me,
judgmental. - arrogant.
00:25:46.42\00:25:49.11
She keeps saying Arrogant,
00:25:49.15\00:25:50.21
Do you want me to put it
off? I'll put it out there.
00:25:50.24\00:25:53.09
- what is really interesting
even about the arrogance
00:25:55.30\00:25:56.68
is that with your mom, they
were the cultured folks in the
00:25:56.72\00:26:00.68
neighborhood they weren't
allowed to play with other kids
00:26:00.72\00:26:04.07
because they were actually
too goods for the other kids.
00:26:04.10\00:26:07.49
So generationally this kind
of arrogance was passed down.
00:26:07.53\00:26:10.88
What to me was amazing is
that as you started to grow
00:26:12.78\00:26:16.24
spiritually, God was allowing
these things to be fully in
00:26:16.27\00:26:19.41
front of your face so that
you could repent and hand it
00:26:19.45\00:26:22.55
over, and I thought I
was the only one with issues.
00:26:22.59\00:26:25.62
- Issues, and so you start
to understand what is healing,
00:26:25.66\00:26:28.75
healing from what?
What do I have to offer?
00:26:28.78\00:26:31.44
If I'm going to seek the heart
of my wife, I can't be throwing
00:26:31.48\00:26:35.03
this crazy stuff up there as
some kind of filter or screen
00:26:35.06\00:26:38.31
to be looking at you
through, it has to be from
00:26:38.35\00:26:40.79
an open and clean heart.
00:26:40.82\00:26:42.02
- can I talk about what
kind of things we found?
00:26:42.92\00:26:45.09
- yes. What are
you going to say?
00:26:45.13\00:26:49.46
- isn't that scary when
you're working with your spouse?
00:26:49.50\00:26:52.91
Some of the things we found
in clearing out the house was
00:26:52.95\00:26:57.02
some sexual stuff, some
videotapes and realizing as Brad
00:26:57.05\00:27:01.09
and I started to pray
about what we were finding,
00:27:01.12\00:27:03.37
is realizing that Brad's
father had and sexual addiction
00:27:03.41\00:27:06.96
and he was raised in a
fairly sexualized environment
00:27:07.00\00:27:10.51
because of
someone else's addiction.
00:27:10.55\00:27:12.31
Then that, with God's help
and through this pastor we were
00:27:12.35\00:27:16.33
seeing, it explained a lot
of Brad's leaned over the years
00:27:16.37\00:27:20.23
with some sexual stuff and you
started to pray and we claimed
00:27:20.27\00:27:24.10
generationally the things
that have happened in your
00:27:24.13\00:27:27.30
family and were given to
you without even knowing it.
00:27:27.34\00:27:30.01
- I didn't even know it
and I think that is one of the
00:27:30.04\00:27:32.64
things that, I'm talking to the
guys again right now, this is
00:27:32.67\00:27:36.78
crazy so I will take
another step back real quick.
00:27:36.81\00:27:39.63
Okay, I think God is wanting
me to work with you in the
00:27:39.67\00:27:42.46
Ministry and you were like
there is no way we are doing
00:27:42.50\00:27:45.26
that unless you go
get some counseling.
00:27:45.29\00:27:46.95
- Didn't I say that nicer? - no!
00:27:46.99\00:27:50.24
There is no way until
you do that, and I'm thinking
00:27:52.23\00:27:54.70
I don't need
counseling, I'm fine.
00:27:54.74\00:27:56.14
So it was real interesting and
I actually went for a few times.
00:27:56.17\00:27:59.97
She said well it was good
I have no idea because I've
00:28:00.01\00:28:01.91
never done counseling and
we started constantly together
00:28:01.95\00:28:04.54
with one person and then
after the steel fist and the
00:28:04.57\00:28:07.07
velvet glove thing I knew
was time to go work with the
00:28:07.11\00:28:10.72
other person who is even
probably more dug in, cracking
00:28:10.76\00:28:14.34
stuff open and
diving in to see what it is.
00:28:14.37\00:28:16.95
Having said all
that, Mr. thought-he-had
00:28:16.99\00:28:19.50
it dialed in really didn't
and discovered that I have
00:28:19.53\00:28:22.49
these issues and are things
that you do not think about,
00:28:22.52\00:28:25.73
or you think that it is
okay to strive for excellence.
00:28:25.77\00:28:28.95
Well yes, but with compassion
and caring and not that
00:28:28.98\00:28:32.13
somehow you are
better than someone else.
00:28:32.17\00:28:33.89
So men, and don't think that
you may not have things going
00:28:33.92\00:28:36.75
on, it might be something
you did not even know about.
00:28:36.78\00:28:39.47
I was unaware of the stuff
my father, and I have to say
00:28:39.50\00:28:42.15
this, I love my dad and
he provided a tremendous
00:28:42.19\00:28:46.29
life for me. Did he
get that from his father?
00:28:46.33\00:28:49.25
I think maybe he did
and just discovering that
00:28:49.29\00:28:52.14
generational stuff was passed
on, we may not even really
00:28:52.17\00:28:55.97
be aware of, or understand
where it came from, but by the
00:28:56.01\00:28:59.78
grace of God we have
the ability to reclaim that
00:28:59.81\00:29:01.96
territory, to take it
back from Satan, to close doors
00:29:01.99\00:29:04.72
and close the access off.
00:29:04.76\00:29:06.32
It was really interesting,
as he listed women that he
00:29:06.35\00:29:12.53
had been with, in his life,
prior to me, then he asked for
00:29:12.56\00:29:16.83
my forgiveness, just
asked for my forgiveness.
00:29:16.87\00:29:19.74
He really even asked
God that the women he had
00:29:19.78\00:29:22.65
casually gotten into a
relationship with, can you bless
00:29:22.68\00:29:25.51
them, heal them and
not let our relationship,
00:29:25.55\00:29:28.44
or our stuff damaged them.
00:29:28.48\00:29:30.47
The whole time saying God
to forgive me for everything
00:29:30.51\00:29:34.82
that came into my life because
of this casual stuff in my
00:29:34.86\00:29:39.51
sexuality, ask you to heal
that and reclaim that for you
00:29:39.55\00:29:44.17
and the damage it has caused.
00:29:44.21\00:29:47.43
The whole time he is doing
this, I'm looking at him and
00:29:47.46\00:29:51.31
everything in me is healing,
because I'm thinking that he
00:29:51.34\00:29:55.96
is cleaning up closets in
his life that have been there
00:29:55.99\00:30:00.57
and left unchecked for
years and years and years.
00:30:00.61\00:30:02.74
I wish I could say to men
especially, because women we
00:30:02.78\00:30:07.67
just want this kind of
healing, but for men especially
00:30:07.71\00:30:12.53
is when you risk doing that,
when you risk surrendering that
00:30:12.57\00:30:16.34
to God, when you risk getting
into repentance at that level,
00:30:16.38\00:30:20.12
that your family
heals leaps and bounds.
00:30:20.15\00:30:23.83
What was really interesting is
00:30:23.86\00:30:25.60
as we start exploring all
this was finding out that I
00:30:26.11\00:30:30.97
have two sisters without
getting into a lot of specifics,
00:30:31.00\00:30:35.83
they were left unprotected.
00:30:35.87\00:30:38.38
You look at the family, the
generational thing is just so
00:30:38.41\00:30:42.71
amazing to me, God talks
about the Old Testament in a lot
00:30:42.75\00:30:47.01
of places, in
Deuteronomy particularly.
00:30:47.05\00:30:48.82
It talks about curses or
blessings depending on where
00:30:48.86\00:30:52.42
you are going to go
and you are going to lead.
00:30:52.46\00:30:54.05
So what I get back to saying
to the guys, men you can have
00:30:54.08\00:30:57.61
everything you want, I
can't even tell you how amazing.
00:30:57.65\00:31:00.49
We have been together 21 years
and I am starting to figure
00:31:00.52\00:31:04.89
it out and I am feeling more
love, more caring and more of
00:31:04.93\00:31:09.27
everything from
you than I have ever.
00:31:09.30\00:31:12.46
It's just so amazing. - and
it is really just beginning.
00:31:12.50\00:31:16.47
- it's just beginning, so
then you get back to I want
00:31:16.50\00:31:20.44
this and I want that.
00:31:20.48\00:31:21.45
If you give, if you are willing
to make yourself a tiny bit
00:31:21.46\00:31:25.90
vulnerable, that's not right
it's not vulnerable, it's just
00:31:25.93\00:31:30.35
open and receptive. - you
will allow yourself to heal.
00:31:30.38\00:31:33.30
You will allow yourself
to heal exactly, then you are
00:31:33.34\00:31:36.27
going to be amazed at what
all will happen and you will
00:31:36.31\00:31:39.21
get to that place where
you get whatever you want.
00:31:39.24\00:31:41.97
You can have everything
you want if you are willing to
00:31:42.01\00:31:44.74
provide that kind of the
leadership, and that kind of
00:31:44.77\00:31:47.47
caring for your family.
00:31:47.50\00:31:48.47
It's pretty incredible, what
was really interesting to me
00:31:48.48\00:31:51.38
during this whole time
with your particular journey,
00:31:51.42\00:31:54.37
is then asking God
what is my passion?
00:31:54.41\00:32:00.16
Who am I? I love when you
said, I heard you say to a
00:32:00.20\00:32:05.25
number of people, is that I
don't know in my life if I have
00:32:05.28\00:32:08.23
ever been
passionate about anything.
00:32:08.27\00:32:09.94
You are a musician and do
all this stuff, you do event
00:32:09.97\00:32:13.41
planning, and have worked
at the University and playing
00:32:13.45\00:32:16.85
Philharmonic' and
all these gigs, but am
00:32:16.89\00:32:20.24
I passionate about anything?
00:32:20.27\00:32:21.70
I was just talking about
this with a couple people
00:32:24.82\00:32:28.73
recently and it is one of
those things, by God's grace
00:32:28.76\00:32:32.64
I have been gifted
with pretty much anything
00:32:32.67\00:32:35.44
I apply myself to do.
00:32:35.48\00:32:36.45
I am capable of
doing reasonably well.
00:32:36.46\00:32:38.32
But it is, what am
I passionate about?
00:32:38.36\00:32:40.32
What is it that I want, I
have to go do this right now,
00:32:40.36\00:32:44.62
or I have to go do that and
so it is interesting again to
00:32:44.65\00:32:48.87
walk in and ask God
to lead me in that area.
00:32:48.91\00:32:51.09
Trust the Holy Spirit, let Him
tell me, show what is going on.
00:32:51.13\00:32:56.65
What is really fun, and
probably in the past 6 to 8
00:32:58.04\00:33:01.30
months she will come back
and tell me a story about this
00:33:01.33\00:33:04.29
happened to this person and
the next thing I know, it's like
00:33:04.33\00:33:06.40
I think I have
something in my eye.
00:33:06.44\00:33:09.36
I might need a tissue.
00:33:11.22\00:33:12.26
- we are in prison ministries.
00:33:12.29\00:33:14.33
- We have people coming
back saying I didn't think I was
00:33:14.36\00:33:17.45
going to make it in life
period and I heard you talk and
00:33:17.49\00:33:20.55
said something, you
know I think I have a chance.
00:33:20.58\00:33:24.33
Suddenly to realized
offer someone a glimmer of hope,
00:33:24.36\00:33:28.06
to offer someone a chance
to make a difference, or to
00:33:28.10\00:33:31.77
offer someone just a
difference in their life.
00:33:31.80\00:33:34.75
When you start to
realize that this is the most
00:33:34.79\00:33:37.70
amazing thing in the world.
00:33:37.74\00:33:38.99
Because we all go do our
thing and go through the motions
00:33:39.03\00:33:41.90
of being alive, doing our stuff,
but what do you really have?
00:33:41.93\00:33:44.43
Do you have somebody who
really loves you, can you really
00:33:44.47\00:33:46.93
love someone else?
00:33:46.97\00:33:48.23
What does that mean? Is it real?
00:33:48.26\00:33:49.93
To be able to offer
someone, this is crazy because
00:33:49.97\00:33:54.78
I am working in
the office now right?
00:33:54.81\00:33:56.72
So you better start
answering the phone.
00:33:56.76\00:33:58.63
- I don't know if what he thinks
working in the office means?
00:34:00.37\00:34:03.00
- hello Two Step
ministries, is Cheri there? No!
00:34:03.03\00:34:06.54
Because she is usually not home.
00:34:06.58\00:34:07.85
But he use to answer the
phone, someone would call and
00:34:07.88\00:34:12.79
immediately they
would go into their stuff.
00:34:12.83\00:34:14.80
You know my husband is
leaving, or my son is strung out
00:34:14.84\00:34:17.68
on drugs, and Brad would
say, I'd hear him in the other
00:34:17.71\00:34:20.52
room, I'm just the husband.
00:34:20.55\00:34:24.88
But now he doesn't say that.
00:34:24.91\00:34:28.05
It was really fun to have a
woman call and she's 77 years
00:34:28.09\00:34:34.34
old, I'm just
trying to find myself.
00:34:34.38\00:34:37.60
I thought whoa, and it is
even fun to watch because when
00:34:37.63\00:34:43.19
you started the Ministry
and we were looking at all the
00:34:43.22\00:34:47.32
different mission statements,
about teens, we're working
00:34:47.35\00:34:52.20
with teens, and here's a
77-year-old woman that we are
00:34:52.23\00:34:56.26
able to consult with on
the phone, to steer and guide
00:34:56.30\00:35:00.30
a little bit, so here
I am a guy who is just
00:35:00.33\00:35:05.43
starting to figure it out,
00:35:05.46\00:35:06.43
but able to share with someone
and offer a glimmer of hope.
00:35:06.44\00:35:10.58
That's just amazing. - it's
just to say that a lot of people
00:35:10.61\00:35:13.09
know my family, and
know where I came from.
00:35:13.12\00:35:15.52
I love my family but
they have their challenges.
00:35:15.55\00:35:19.72
You got to pray with
my father before he died.
00:35:19.76\00:35:23.90
You wouldn't have done that,
had you not come to this place
00:35:23.94\00:35:27.21
in your spiritual walk, I
want you to talk about what that
00:35:27.24\00:35:30.47
experience was like for you.
00:35:30.51\00:35:31.67
They thought you were a
priest, is a Brad a priest?
00:35:31.70\00:35:36.69
That is what
they kept asking me.
00:35:36.73\00:35:37.96
For the frail human race.
00:35:37.99\00:35:40.89
That was one of those things
where are walked out really
00:35:40.92\00:35:44.88
stunned, that was maybe
2 1/2 years ago now, or 3
00:35:44.92\00:35:47.79
years ago that that happened.
00:35:47.83\00:35:49.60
- Start with the devotion.
00:35:49.64\00:35:51.35
The thing about that,
which was interesting, the whole
00:35:51.38\00:35:55.00
thing with the Ministry of
food, which I love to cook.
00:35:55.04\00:35:59.03
It was going down and walking
into this, I think you may
00:35:59.07\00:36:02.11
have told the story here,
but the dysfunction of that
00:36:02.14\00:36:05.14
environment and they
are trying to cook food.
00:36:05.18\00:36:06.95
You walk in, and this
meat is rotten because
00:36:06.98\00:36:08.71
I can tell by it by the smell.
00:36:08.75\00:36:10.01
Going to the store and
deciding to make tacos.
00:36:10.05\00:36:13.30
- let me just set this
up for you for a little bit.
00:36:13.34\00:36:16.44
My father is dying, we flew
in a day or so left in his life.
00:36:16.48\00:36:22.25
My family has never
let me pray with them.
00:36:22.29\00:36:25.30
Even when my sister was on
life support, they barred me
00:36:25.33\00:36:28.67
from the room, it's like
we do not believe in that and
00:36:28.70\00:36:32.13
we don't want that, and
Brad asked if he could come and
00:36:32.16\00:36:35.55
pray for my
father before he died.
00:36:35.59\00:36:37.32
I said he doesn't even want
that, they actually barred me
00:36:37.36\00:36:41.23
from the room, they
don't want us to bring that in.
00:36:41.27\00:36:44.86
Brad did a study on
David and Jonathan, a devotion.
00:36:44.90\00:36:48.46
Do you want to talk about that?
00:36:48.50\00:36:50.22
That's right, and thank
you because I didn't remember
00:36:50.26\00:36:52.66
the whole story. - I'm not
going to say that guys name.
00:36:52.70\00:36:55.36
I'm not going to say that
guys name either. - go ahead.
00:36:55.40\00:36:58.52
In fact you even said
I'm not sure you should come.
00:36:58.55\00:37:01.13
- because it was just
ridiculous come right now,
00:37:01.17\00:37:03.72
they are not that interested.
00:37:03.75\00:37:04.82
Yes, they are not that
interested and I had just read
00:37:04.86\00:37:07.20
a story about Jonathan's
son and David seeking out
00:37:07.24\00:37:10.42
Jonathan's son his relative,
and bringing him back to
00:37:10.45\00:37:13.87
the Kings table and
having him eat the Kings food.
00:37:13.91\00:37:16.82
- someone was really
concerned during that story,
00:37:16.85\00:37:19.70
because David is bringing
the relative back to the Kings
00:37:19.73\00:37:22.94
table, but they
said he is deformed.
00:37:22.97\00:37:24.72
In those days that
was an abomination to God.
00:37:24.76\00:37:30.28
His deformity was a curse and
David said, bring him anyway.
00:37:30.32\00:37:34.80
Brad took him out of the
room and said I believe that
00:37:34.83\00:37:37.80
God is asking me to ask
your father to come back to the
00:37:37.84\00:37:40.77
table, to come back to Christ.
00:37:40.81\00:37:44.07
I'm looking at him like,
I'm stressed, my dad is dying.
00:37:44.11\00:37:47.95
- she doesn't totally
believe in me yet because
00:37:47.98\00:37:49.84
I haven't walked
very far with this.
00:37:49.87\00:37:51.81
- he is just new but at
this time he is so new that
00:37:51.85\00:37:55.02
he is praying for everybody.
00:37:55.06\00:37:56.82
You can't walk by him without
his putting his hand on you,
00:37:56.86\00:38:00.30
do you want prayer,
can I pray for anything?
00:38:00.33\00:38:02.18
So for him to now say, can
I fly out and see your family.
00:38:02.21\00:38:06.05
So we go out in the food
thing was really cool, but the
00:38:06.09\00:38:09.27
important part is that I
walked in and Mac is laying on
00:38:09.30\00:38:12.04
the bed and I walked in
and said, can I pray for you?
00:38:12.08\00:38:14.78
He was like, absolutely.
00:38:14.81\00:38:16.95
So we prayed, you could
just see it in his eyes that he
00:38:16.98\00:38:23.42
got it and prayed for God
to be with him, and he got it.
00:38:23.45\00:38:29.85
I stepped up and he just
looks at me and goes bye.
00:38:29.89\00:38:32.87
To know that that was it.
00:38:32.91\00:38:34.75
I'm just going to say to
you again, I love you for doing
00:38:34.78\00:38:39.42
that, I love you for that.
00:38:39.45\00:38:40.99
Out of every one, even
myself, nobody would have walked
00:38:41.02\00:38:46.73
in the room and asked that.
00:38:46.77\00:38:48.26
The person that would do
that is you, if you hadn't
00:38:48.30\00:38:53.43
gotten it, nobody
would have asked him that.
00:38:53.46\00:38:55.72
Do you understand I mean?
00:38:55.76\00:38:56.89
It was your place in our family,
as one of the men of God,
00:38:56.92\00:39:00.26
to walk in and
bring him back to Christ.
00:39:00.30\00:39:03.07
I just wanted to
say, I just love you.
00:39:03.11\00:39:05.81
We are going to open
things up for questioning.
00:39:05.85\00:39:07.91
I know the people
have some questions here.
00:39:07.94\00:39:09.97
Patrice do you
have any questions?
00:39:10.00\00:39:12.80
I'm Patrice from Lansdale
Pennsylvania and I have to say
00:39:12.84\00:39:16.69
it's such an honor to be here.
00:39:16.73\00:39:18.23
If people could be here
to feel the atmosphere of the
00:39:18.27\00:39:21.63
Holy Spirit, it
is in here heavy.
00:39:21.67\00:39:23.68
I have to say the amazing
connection that you and your
00:39:23.72\00:39:28.93
husband have, and the
journey you have been on.
00:39:28.97\00:39:31.10
The love I see
between the two of you is,
00:39:31.13\00:39:33.35
just once again, it's amazing.
00:39:33.38\00:39:35.90
God really does wondrous things.
- He wants us to be healed.
00:39:35.94\00:39:40.35
He wants us to be healed
and I think it was something you
00:39:40.38\00:39:45.32
said about a minister
saying that Brad was sent to be
00:39:45.36\00:39:49.89
a key tool, the key element
to bring closure and healing
00:39:49.92\00:39:53.81
finally for so many things
that happened in your past.
00:39:53.85\00:39:58.77
Our paths are somewhat similar,
but my question is really
00:39:58.80\00:40:03.69
to Brad, when you are
feeling the call to be that
00:40:03.72\00:40:08.65
spiritual leader and
you look at how things have
00:40:08.69\00:40:12.34
transpired in the past
and early stages of the
00:40:12.38\00:40:16.00
relationship as it is maturing,
00:40:16.03\00:40:18.04
isn't there still a fear
like you want to step out,
00:40:18.07\00:40:20.96
but you are so afraid
of what God is going to do,
00:40:20.99\00:40:24.04
but excited at the same
time, with the possibility of
00:40:24.08\00:40:27.09
what He is going to do?
00:40:27.13\00:40:28.34
That is a great question to ask.
00:40:28.37\00:40:30.16
For myself personally the
excitement part I am okay with,
00:40:30.20\00:40:34.09
because I am an adrenaline
junkie and I like doing things
00:40:34.13\00:40:37.98
that amp me up, I ski
off cliffs, and play trumpets
00:40:38.02\00:40:43.04
is an exciting thing.
00:40:43.07\00:40:44.54
The fear part is really in
the honoring concept of hearing
00:40:44.58\00:40:51.52
God, but there is an
unknown element there.
00:40:51.56\00:40:54.20
Absolutely like
walking into the ministry,
00:40:54.24\00:40:56.85
what are you going to do?
00:40:56.89\00:40:57.86
I don't know
what I'm going to do.
00:40:57.87\00:40:59.06
But I'm going to pray
every morning for God to fill me
00:40:59.09\00:41:00.91
with the Holy
Spirit and direct me.
00:41:00.95\00:41:02.62
That spiritual leadership
I am still just starting to
00:41:02.66\00:41:06.21
explore that and having some
revelations about the amazing
00:41:06.25\00:41:10.93
authority that is given
to me when I do choose to
00:41:10.97\00:41:13.35
exercise that, which I
am trying to do every day.
00:41:13.38\00:41:16.92
It is an unknown and
there is some scariness there,
00:41:16.96\00:41:19.78
but it is a cool kind of
scariness that is amazing.
00:41:19.81\00:41:22.59
- what is fun to
about the Holy Spirit,
00:41:22.63\00:41:23.97
is the Holy Spirit is
the same for each of us.
00:41:24.00\00:41:25.99
We will be working alongside
people that have theology
00:41:26.03\00:41:30.80
degrees and a biblically
can be right on with every page.
00:41:30.83\00:41:34.93
Brad is not there yet, but
he has the Holy Spirit so in
00:41:34.97\00:41:39.50
him that when he prays for
people when we are at a camp
00:41:39.54\00:41:43.58
meeting or whatever, I
watch God's hand just on them.
00:41:43.62\00:41:47.85
So I'm trusting the Holy
Spirit is the Holy Spirit,
00:41:47.88\00:41:52.05
it really is Him that is
doing the work and leading you.
00:41:52.08\00:41:55.43
Which is amazing.
00:41:55.46\00:41:56.99
Any more
questions? Garland, go ahead.
00:41:57.02\00:42:00.36
Garland Blanton and I
am locally here at 3ABN.
00:42:00.39\00:42:04.30
I would just like to make a
comment that I thank God for
00:42:04.34\00:42:07.36
bringing me here this morning,
I wasn't planning on being
00:42:07.39\00:42:12.61
here to hear Brad and giving
me some ideas knowing that I
00:42:12.64\00:42:17.82
have not been there,
where I should be here in some
00:42:17.86\00:42:24.24
instances with
my wife and family.
00:42:24.28\00:42:26.81
I just appreciate these
wonderful people, and what God
00:42:26.85\00:42:31.39
has done with them, and how
He has brought them together.
00:42:31.42\00:42:35.93
I thank them for being here.
00:42:35.96\00:42:38.64
That is incredible and
Brad I really believe that a lot
00:42:40.39\00:42:43.36
of men, when they hear you speak
in their heart know they can
00:42:43.39\00:42:49.66
stand up for their family
in a way that is more healing.
00:42:49.69\00:42:55.93
I see that when
we go out and speak.
00:42:55.96\00:42:59.02
Remember when we did the
camp meeting and we prayed for
00:42:59.06\00:43:02.64
four hours for couples.
00:43:02.67\00:43:04.41
We prayed until
1:30 to 2 in the morning.
00:43:04.45\00:43:07.23
Just for couples that
really want that kind of healing
00:43:07.26\00:43:09.67
in their life and I
watched you respond to the men
00:43:09.71\00:43:12.05
and giving them courage
to have it all, take it all.
00:43:12.09\00:43:16.67
I think one of the things,
for guys, get caught up in,
00:43:16.71\00:43:21.72
I do not want to lose my
manliness by becoming someone
00:43:21.76\00:43:26.74
who cares, it is
actually the other way around.
00:43:26.77\00:43:29.92
It really is one of
those things where like sports,
00:43:32.02\00:43:36.67
I'm aggressive, into building
and making things I do all
00:43:36.70\00:43:40.43
these manly things, but
what I get by becoming caring
00:43:40.46\00:43:44.22
is so much more, you
become more of a man really.
00:43:44.26\00:43:48.43
- it's interesting the
feeling I get, all of a sudden
00:43:48.47\00:43:52.58
we will be doing something off
field hurt, or injured some way,
00:43:52.61\00:43:55.70
and you will stop and
say how did you to take that?
00:43:55.74\00:43:59.16
Is your heart okay
with that? I just melt!
00:43:59.19\00:44:03.14
I just want to kiss you on
the face, I don't care what
00:44:03.18\00:44:06.50
just happened so it is really
such a masculine thing to do.
00:44:06.54\00:44:12.14
But I think
society has told us that.
00:44:12.17\00:44:14.77
Any more
questions? Caroline go ahead.
00:44:14.81\00:44:17.34
My name is Caroline, I had
a conversation with a friend
00:44:17.37\00:44:20.99
on face book about love
and the definition of love and
00:44:21.03\00:44:24.61
all kinds of things like that.
00:44:24.64\00:44:25.93
Because I was saying
that love should not be a
00:44:25.96\00:44:29.82
battlefield, true love,
when you have mutual love both
00:44:29.86\00:44:35.72
parties love
each other very much,
00:44:35.75\00:44:36.91
but it shouldn't
be a battlefield.
00:44:36.94\00:44:38.03
There shouldn't be any
strife, it shouldn't be hard to
00:44:38.07\00:44:41.11
love somebody, and here
you are saying well yeah but,
00:44:41.15\00:44:44.87
there is always going to
be conflict in a relationship.
00:44:44.90\00:44:48.58
I was wondering
should we start practicing in
00:44:48.62\00:44:54.43
relationships
like with other people,
00:44:54.47\00:44:58.22
your parents and everything.
00:44:58.26\00:45:00.11
At a younger age so we are
ready and prepared to deal with
00:45:00.14\00:45:05.19
everybody else's emotions
in that kind of a relationship?
00:45:05.23\00:45:09.82
Oh man, that is a great
question and I am impressed to
00:45:09.86\00:45:13.45
have a question come from
someone of your age like that.
00:45:13.48\00:45:17.04
It shows tremendous maturity.
00:45:17.07\00:45:18.94
- they're talking about taking
care people hearts earlier
00:45:18.97\00:45:22.31
outside of relationships.
00:45:22.34\00:45:23.94
Absolutely, we talked before
that we focus on the event
00:45:23.97\00:45:28.31
and not understanding what
caused a person to react to
00:45:28.35\00:45:31.78
that event and finding out
what that underlying cause is.
00:45:31.81\00:45:34.71
What was it that happened in
your life that may have caused
00:45:34.74\00:45:37.60
you to react to those things.
00:45:37.63\00:45:39.79
To explore that early on, what
an amazing gift that would be,
00:45:39.82\00:45:44.02
- in your friend's life
- you are going to find,
00:45:44.05\00:45:46.08
we're getting so much better.
00:45:46.12\00:45:48.16
Just the other day we were
talking and you said something
00:45:48.19\00:45:50.09
to me and I reacted, you
stopped and looked at me.
00:45:50.13\00:45:52.70
It was okay, you got mad at
me, did I hurt your feelings?
00:45:52.74\00:45:57.87
What did you hear and
you start to explore that,
00:45:57.90\00:46:01.21
that is not in my mind,
our imaginations run wild.
00:46:01.24\00:46:04.51
We are very
creative people, right?
00:46:04.54\00:46:05.92
So someone says x and you hear
W, Z, Q and you react based on
00:46:05.95\00:46:10.58
what you heard and the person
was like I did not mean that
00:46:10.61\00:46:15.20
at all, so yes, start
practicing those skills.
00:46:15.23\00:46:19.86
I know that you
like swimming, right?
00:46:19.89\00:46:23.75
You are good at swimming,
but if you want to get better
00:46:23.78\00:46:26.88
you do have to work at it.
00:46:26.91\00:46:28.28
- and it's going
to be hard at times.
00:46:28.31\00:46:29.62
It's going to be hard,
they are going to show you do
00:46:29.66\00:46:32.32
something, the grab and
pull, the grab and pull,
00:46:32.36\00:46:34.95
I don't know if you know
that exercise, but were you,
00:46:34.99\00:46:37.66
this arm doesn't even come
out of the water and you are
00:46:37.70\00:46:40.34
yanking that one over.
00:46:40.37\00:46:41.34
It is awkward and it
feels uncomfortable to do it,
00:46:41.35\00:46:43.73
but I am going to be a
better swimmer if I do.
00:46:43.76\00:46:46.10
In relationships, when you
love somebody you are willing
00:46:46.14\00:46:49.16
to put some time and some
effort into it because you love
00:46:49.20\00:46:52.09
them and you know that you're
going to get something back.
00:46:52.12\00:46:54.98
And just for me
to you, you need to.
00:46:55.02\00:46:57.70
You know Brad, we have covered
a lot of things as far as
00:47:01.36\00:47:04.99
in relationships, we
covered a lot of things as far
00:47:05.02\00:47:07.06
as your spiritual growth.
00:47:07.10\00:47:08.62
I'm just trying to
think of something else.
00:47:08.65\00:47:12.79
When we first started to
get into this whole relationship
00:47:12.83\00:47:17.12
thing, you said you
didn't hear the voice of God.
00:47:17.16\00:47:19.25
For people who do not know
what that means, I know you
00:47:19.29\00:47:21.85
are hearing God
speak to you now everyday.
00:47:21.89\00:47:23.71
Can you talk a little bit
about when you opened yourself
00:47:23.74\00:47:27.77
up to having God speak to you,
not only you speaking to Him?
00:47:27.81\00:47:31.81
I think this is one of the
things for me that has been
00:47:31.84\00:47:35.71
exciting to understand
that for some people, and I keep
00:47:37.79\00:47:41.71
waiting for the Brad
thing coming down from above.
00:47:41.74\00:47:45.07
I want you to turn left now.
00:47:45.10\00:47:47.14
That kind of thing.
- I would love that.
00:47:47.18\00:47:49.19
But He will speak to you
and show you and the Holy Spirit
00:47:51.88\00:47:54.95
will talking to
you all the time.
00:47:54.99\00:47:56.43
We joke about this and
you may have told the story,
00:47:56.46\00:47:59.07
but people say how do you
know God is talking to you?
00:47:59.11\00:48:01.68
That He cares about you?
00:48:01.72\00:48:02.80
He gives me great
parking places all the time.
00:48:02.84\00:48:05.73
Every time He does, I come
to expect it because He tells
00:48:05.76\00:48:10.56
you, expect Me to bless you.
00:48:10.59\00:48:13.09
- Your ultimate relationship
is God. - it's with God.
00:48:13.13\00:48:16.47
That is one of the things you
and I have talked about this,
00:48:16.51\00:48:18.90
it is why we are doing
so well is because our first
00:48:18.94\00:48:21.65
commitment has been to God.
00:48:21.68\00:48:23.59
Your arms are too short to
box with God so don't even give
00:48:25.75\00:48:29.07
it a try, that part for us
has been a really key thing.
00:48:29.10\00:48:32.24
When you are open to
that, you will find He is doing
00:48:32.28\00:48:35.35
miracles and things in your
life all the time, constantly.
00:48:35.38\00:48:40.71
So it is cleaning the cobwebs
off the antenna, and spin it
00:48:40.74\00:48:46.03
around a little, and tune
it in and see what happens.
00:48:46.07\00:48:48.95
I want to tell you Brad,
thank you so much for being on
00:48:48.98\00:48:51.89
the program, thank you for
being in my life, and thank you
00:48:51.92\00:48:54.79
for standing up as a man of God.
00:48:54.82\00:48:56.77
Not only in our family, for
our family and our children,
00:48:56.81\00:48:59.59
but for the church I see a
difference in the church that
00:48:59.63\00:49:02.34
we belong to, when you
walk in there is a difference.
00:49:02.38\00:49:05.47
I think in your commitment
you are encouraging men to
00:49:05.51\00:49:08.52
stand up and take care of
the people that they love.
00:49:08.55\00:49:11.50
I watch the men around you
in your circle all of a sudden
00:49:11.53\00:49:15.37
standing up and saying I
think I want my wife to be all
00:49:15.40\00:49:19.20
over me like Cheri,
because I literally want
00:49:19.24\00:49:23.49
you to have everything.
00:49:23.52\00:49:24.97
So I want to say thank
you for being on the program,
00:49:25.00\00:49:27.78
I would kiss you,
but! - I love you baby!
00:49:27.81\00:49:29.90
We will be right
back, stay with us.
00:49:29.94\00:49:32.69
I have been blessed by this
program but I have a few more
00:49:32.73\00:49:35.11
things to say about it.
00:49:35.15\00:49:36.39
So hang in there.
00:49:36.43\00:49:38.05