Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery
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my name is Cheri
I'll be your host!
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What happens when recovery
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doesn't even look like recovery
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yet? it's too early,
no one around me knows
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I'm recovering
except for God Himself.
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You are going to
love this program.
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It is absolutely
amazing, come join us!
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It is nice to
have you at the Café.
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Today we are going to do
something that I absolutely,
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it scares me to do, but
I want you to stay with me.
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We are going to interview
people at various levels
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in recovery because our
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first part of recovery looks
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different, earlier recovery
looks different than when we
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transition to middle
recovery or late recovery.
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There is some of us, and I
know I'm talking to some of you
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guys, there are some of us
from day one, people around us
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have been strung
out on something.
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It is either
alcoholics or whatever.
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In my family was funny because,
it is not funny, somebody
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is going to call me on that.
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It's not so much funny but
it is interesting that in my
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family everybody was lost in
their addictions from early on.
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I love them, but
they were a party house.
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They were the house that
you went to even from another
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country, we have relatives
in Canada that would fly into
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my grandmothers in
California just to party.
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From the time they're plane
landed they would have vodka,
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Orange juice,
beer, or what ever.
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They would be
partying the entire time.
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They would do lines of
cocaine if they were into that.
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They would be doing
pot they were into that.
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It would be drinking
if they were into that.
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I had people when I was
growing up, that behaviorally
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were so crazy that
you would just think,
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is uncle Charlie,
he's not married to her?
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Is he? Because I just
saw them in the bedroom.
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It was they were doing crazy
things when they were drinking.
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I remember the first time I
saw one of my uncles that I love
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and he was turning yellow.
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His eyes were really yellow
and I said to him, uncle Graham
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why are your eyes yellow?
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And he told me he was turning
into a duck or something and
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he made some joke
because I was this little kid.
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It really was his liver
were shutting down and he was
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dying of his alcoholism.
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What happens when you step
into recovery the first part of
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recovery is everyone around
you is modeling behaviors that
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you can't hold onto.
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When I first found God, I'm
in a drug house trying to kill
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myself, a lot of you
have heard that story.
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But when I first found God I
realize that I can't go home.
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And I'm telling you home I
love my sisters and brothers,
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and mom and dad, I loved them
but I couldn't go home because
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they are using so
much that if I go home
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I'm going to relapse.
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So there is no way to
be safe with my family
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at that particular time.
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I can go home now, people
can be drunk around me now
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and I am safer.
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There are times that I have
to watch myself but I am safe.
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I have been in recovery since
1979, that's been a long time.
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At that time I could not go
home, if I did go home I would
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go for just a
short period of time.
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Sometimes my early
relapses what happened at home,
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when I was home for maybe
two or three hours I would
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be using with the best of them.
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I would want to fit in so
why would grab a drink thinking
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I'm just going
to have one drink.
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Pretty soon somebody is
saying let's have some shots.
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I would be doing
shots of tequila.
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Then somebody says let's smoke
some pot and then I would be
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of and running again.
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So I realized early on the
safest thing for me to do is to
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know that my relapse
time is about four hours.
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So with my family I could
stay two hours, so let me cut it
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way back and I would stay
for two hours and then leave.
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When I first had my first
child, my family whom I love
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would say you know what,
how about if we baby sit Jackie
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and you guys can take
off and go to the mall?
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I'm thinking are you
crazy, but I can't say that.
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What is really interesting
is when you are being raised
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around a lot of people
who are drinking and using,
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we have a lot of molest and
sexual addictions and my family.
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When you are raised around
that is hard to tell people
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that I cannot let you baby
sit because I can't take the
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chance that you will give
her a drink or think it's fun
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to blow some pot in her
face, or think it's funny to
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leave her with one of
the molesters in our family
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and not know it.
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I can't say to somebody if
everybody acts normal today
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I'll let you baby sit.
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The people that we love, they
think they are acting normal.
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Do you know what I mean?
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They think this is how our
family is, not realizing that
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normal is not
being lost in addiction.
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So what does recovery look like?
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What happens in our families
when in recovery our entire
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family is lost?
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Let me just say this, once
I left home, I was very young,
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then the community that I
was in was mostly addicts.
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Probably because if you
weren't an addict I don't know
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if I would have
hung out with you.
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Because I don't
even know how to do that.
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So most of my friends were in
addictions, most of the people
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that I knew, people that
I loved, had all that stuff.
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Stepping into recovery
and not really having any kind
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of social network and
trying to figure out what
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that was all about.
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Now what happens if I'm only 15?
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So I'm going to introduce
you to some people that I met,
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that I love because I understand
their struggle, I understand
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what happened in their life
and what they are fighting in
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their own recovery.
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We are going to hear quickly
just 4 or 5 different stories
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that would just say this
is where this person is at.
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The reason I want you to hear
this is to not only deal with
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your own recovery issues, not
only deal with all that stuff,
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but if you are in a place to
start mentoring someone else,
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we need you.
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We will be right back and I
want you to know that as we take
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on this break, as we leave
for this break I want you to
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realize that I am going to
quickly present the recovery
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stories and I beg
people to listen on two levels.
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On your own recovery story and
your own sense of standing up
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and trying to fight
against the current almost.
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But also one who are we as a
community and can we come back
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and be of service to somebody
that is starting this whole
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process, even if you are
a day or two ahead of them.
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A year or two a head of
them, I'm 30 years ahead of them
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and still can I come back
and remember that first step
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and help them out on that.
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Come right back,
will be right here.
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