Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery!
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I have met people that say
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I have been in recovery for
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10, 20, 30 years and I still
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don't get it, it is because
you forgot this one step.
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Join us at the Café, you are
going to be blown away by this.
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This is going to be
fun today in the Café.
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We are talking about recovery
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still, every season every show.
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Just because it is my
passion and what is interesting
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to me is when you look at
why do people fail so much?
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Why is it that people start
out and they are just thrilled.
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They finally get the fact that
I am powerless and I cannot do
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anything and that there is
a God and He can restore me.
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It's like I'm not going
to be crazy my whole life and
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He can restore me to sanity,
every page of the Bible says it.
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Every page of the
big book says that.
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Every page of a 12 step program
says that you are powerless,
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God is going to restore you,
and it also talks about looking
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at your stuff and get an idea
of who you are because if you
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do not know who you are
even in a Christian sense.
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I've been away from 12 step
programs because I have done
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a lot of my own recovery through
God, through my spiritual
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relationships so if I understand
that I am powerless then I
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God then I really need to
look at some stuff because
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I need to know
what to bring to Him.
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I may bring the wrong things,
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but I actually
won't run out of things.
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I need to bring to Him my
addictions and eating disorders,
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my depression, my
anger, and my junk.
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My thinking is so twisted so
it is like I do not even know
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what to surrender if I
haven't looked at something.
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That is the good part of
recovery and the next part is
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just making amends and
taking care of some stuff.
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In a step program, steps six
and step seven, they are called
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the forgotten steps and I just
got this for a friend of mine.
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The forgotten steps, forgotten
steps because there are some
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people in 12 step programs
that get to the point where they
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know they are powerless
and they know they have issues.
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I have to look at some of this
stuff and I 'm so glad there is
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a God and they get to that point
and then they take a breath.
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That was a lot of things to
look at, lot of stuff to work on
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In some 12 step programs
you are writing down your
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character defects, you are
finding one person, a sponsor
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some body you trust and
start sharing it with them.
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That is the hardest thing,
I know we have been friends
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for a long time,
but I am such a liar.
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Do you know what I mean,
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when you honestly
start sharing stuff,
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it is really tough.
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I am socially underdeveloped.
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If I did not drink or
use, I couldn't say my name
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without going
into a panic attack.
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That is hard to say if somebody
especially when you have
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been the life of the party.
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You are out there, you are
saying and doing all the right
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things and people are, no, Cheri
we love to have you around.
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Do you know if I am not drinking
or using, I panic when the phone
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rings because I do
not want to pick it up,
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I don't know what to say.
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Do you know that about me so
there are steps where you are
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sharing that kind of stuff.
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Do you know that I have felt
like a fraud my entire life?
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Every lie I have
told was to get over that.
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Did you know that about me?
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Did you know that I had
addictions that are so twisted
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that I'm afraid to
even say them out loud?
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Did you know that? So those
things are important to do.
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And going back again to
my spiritual thing it says to
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confess to one another,
pray for each other so that
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you can be healed.
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It is real interesting is
that no matter where you are at,
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no matter what your program is,
no matter who you're relying on,
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as far as in a personal sense,
God says there are certain
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things you need to do. Right?
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You need to recognize that you
are powerless, recognize that
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you need God, that there
is a God and you need God.
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Recognize that and
talk to somebody else.
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Look at your
stuff, share it with them.
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Okay now we are going to
get to the steps we are covering
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in this program.
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This program says, I am
going to read the step as far as
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how it is in a recovery program.
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The steps says, "we are entirely
ready to have God remove
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all are defects of character."
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Who will remove
them? Me? No! God.
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And every one for some reason,
in any program that you look
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at, somebody is miserable
30 years into their recovery
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is because they
forgot this step.
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I looked at all that stuff
and then I set about to fix it.
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Please hear the difference,
the step doesn't say we are
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entirely ready to
set about to fix it.
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The step says I am entirely
ready to let God remove all that
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And so in step seven, I
just have to go to seven.
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"Humbly ask Him to remove them.
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I think the humble is important
because to humbly ask Him to
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remove them, saying I don't
even know, I have two admit I
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don't even know, I am an adult
in an adult body and should
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be more competent than I
am, but I don't even know where
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to put my foot. Right?
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I have lived my life, I
have told to a little bit of the
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stuff I had to
look at in my recovery.
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I had to share
with one other person.
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I was so, from the time I
was two and three years old,
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I learned to disassociate.
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I was being molested
since I was three months old.
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So I learned not to be present
ever, do you know what I mean?
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If somebody attacked
me I could disassociate,
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I would be like
a dog back at you.
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I could pull your eyes out,
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I could fight and
do all that stuff.
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I could
disassociate be something else.
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If I was afraid socially, I
could disassociate be somebody
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that is competent.
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If you are going to
injure me in some way,
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I could
disassociate and be absent,
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totally absent because I
didn't know how to be that so I
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would disassociate
at the drop of a hat.
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I started asking God, I
don't know how to do this?
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He said for one Cheri I
don't want you to drink or use.
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I'm thinking stop,
are you kidding me?
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I don't know how to do
this, I don't know how to do
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this without drinking or using.
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So can I use anything,
is there an herbal Valium?
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Is there anything? He is
like oh no I want you to get up
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today and I want you to
take a breath, eat healthy,
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get outside and try to laugh.
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Learn how to do things in a
different way and I'll start
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teaching you, so that
if they let go and let God.
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I was ready to let
go and let God, right?
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As I do that God will
tell me the next step.
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What is really interesting
to me is that He does that.
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I remember, even at one time,
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thinking God I
don't know how to do this.
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I'm in a social
situation, I marry somebody that
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teaches at a university
and plays in the orchestra,
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that goes to these fundraisers.
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I'm so panicked all the time.
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I remember being at a fundraiser
one time and I was just
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adorable, I have to tell
you I had this cute little
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outfit on and
everything was perfect.
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I looked normal, which cracks
me up, but I looked normal.
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I just remember being at
the event and I couldn't think
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of anything to say.
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I was afraid somebody was
going to talk to me and all the
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anxiety and social
things were coming up.
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I remember thinking as I saw
a group of people playing darts.
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I thought I would just play
darts with them because in the
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bars I hustled for money with
darts and pool and that stuff.
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I didn't realize I
didn't have any drugs.
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I didn't know how
to do that anymore.
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I throw the dart, poof, and
then I had to add up something.
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I went into this panic
attack and couldn't think.
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So I could not add it up
and I then felt stupid and
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wanted to escape and
disassociate and God tells me,
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Cheri stay present.
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I'm saying no, don't ask me
that, please don't ask me that.
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It was like He was teaching
me, like I was a little child.
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How to stay present, how
not to run, how to be in social
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situations
without drinking or using.
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It was not easy,
but He was so faithful.
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Every time I took it
back from Him and decided
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I could do it on my own, every
time, I could do it on my own.
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I'll just do some,
I'll just do whatever.
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I took it back
and it was miserable.
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Some people take it back for
10 years, 20 years, 30 years.
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They eventually end up drinking
again or kill themselves.
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The suicide rate for people
in recovery that don't do these
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two steps is high, so let me
just say again before we break,
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introduce you to the
guests, I am going to tell you
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what the steps are.
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I am fully aware of the
stuff, I'm fully aware of who
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I am, what kind of
stuff I'm involved in.
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I am fully aware
of how messed up I am.
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Don't color code any of that,
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don't make any of it
look better than it is.
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If you are a liar say it,
because I said I'm not a liar,
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I may exaggerate a little
bit but I'm a good person.
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God just shows me a
few things and I'm thinking
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maybe not all that good.
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Just don't color code it, don't
make it look better than it
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is because it keeps
you're stuck longer.
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If you have a porn addiction
and you are on line all the time
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If you would rather be
online than be with your family,
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that's twisted.
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If you, in your head, go some
place sexually every time you
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are with a person that you
love, and I am talking to a lot
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of women out there, that is
twisted and God doesn't want
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you to half to do that.
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If you have eating disorders,
if you have to hide your food.
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If every time you are stressed
you have to eat something
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and you are bulimic and
throwing up or cutting yourself,
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or what ever, that is twisted.
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If you are miserable all
the time and you don't even
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know why, it is usually
because you have some junk that
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God wants to remove from you.
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So when we fully look at
all of that and then let Him
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start directing you, that
is the most important thing.
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In our series, what we are
calling that, is righteousness,
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or right behavior by faith.
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I am by faith saying
God, okay I am starting to see
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all of this, now
what? Now what do I do?
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How do I do the next thing?
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He says to ask for the
Holy Spirit, and we did a whole
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season on that, but
ask for the Holy Spirit.
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Ask Me to come and live with
you, actually in your very being
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and I will direct
everything from this point on.
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Everything, and I am
like everything? Everything!
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He even says to
surrender everything.
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It doesn't mean I don't do any
work, and I love this analogy
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I read today in my devotions.
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If I am praying God I am in
recovery and I actually think
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I want to be a doctor, He
says you know what I'll start
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making a way for
you to go to med school.
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He is not going to
all of a sudden, poof,
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alright you are a doctor.
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He is not a genie and He is not
going to do the work for you.
00:12:26.52\00:12:29.32
He says I will open
the way for you to do this.
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The work sometimes will be
tough but it is God leading the
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work, it is God
showing you where to work.
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It is God providing you
the strength to do the work.
00:12:38.69\00:12:43.00
In Galatians again, it is
an incredible book because
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Paul goes back to them a lot.
00:12:47.34\00:12:49.01
He says, you know you were
thrilled, you were thrilled
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and now you are
miserable, what happened?
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Now you are looking at ways to,
somebody said okay you finally
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get it or what ever, but
have you been circumcised?
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In the Jewish
culture that was a big deal.
00:13:03.12\00:13:05.35
Paul says, that is not
what it is, you came by faith in
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Christ, to do the
works so stay with that.
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So in your recovery your
faith in Christ, in His ability
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to give you His Holy Spirit
so that He could teach you
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what right behavior
is, it's absolutely huge.
00:13:20.47\00:13:24.67
It is so huge that if you
don't get this step you will not
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be able to do recovery,
you will not be able to change
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anything, God will not be
able to change anything for you.
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The next step is like it in
that I am fully or humbly come
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to God and allow Him to
now start removing things.
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If He said, Cheri I
want you to stay present,
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which was the
hardest thing for me.
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If you are out there and
you hear what I am saying,
00:13:49.36\00:13:53.30
if you have disassociate
disorder or you tend to
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disassociate because of the
damage you had in your past,
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stay in present, even with the
people I loved it was difficult.
00:13:59.96\00:14:03.19
He would say stay present
and I would want to scream,
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that is so not fair!
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I so do not want to do
this, I can't, I can't, I can't.
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He's like you
can, you can, you can.
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As I started to learn that
and started to stay present,
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what is cool to me is that
I have people in my life that
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actually know who I am now.
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They like me, how fun is that?
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I thought nobody would like
me unless I drunk or high or
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able to entertain, and God said,
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I want to teach you
to connect with people.
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I want to teach you
to be in your own skin.
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I want to teach you how
incredibly cool it is to
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actually do recover and once we
get that is amazing because now
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I want to teach
you what life is about.
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So now let's get off you,
which is tough for addicts
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because we think
it's all about us,
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let's get off of you and
let Me teach you about life.
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These two steps I'm telling
you if you don't get them,
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if you don't get this by
turning it over to God and
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allowing Him to abide in
you, allowing His righteousness
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His right behavior to
become part of your existence
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you will be miserable for ever.
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That is not His plan.
00:15:17.04\00:15:18.63
So we are going to take a
break and we'll be right back.
00:15:18.67\00:15:20.75
So stay with us.
00:15:20.79\00:15:21.76
It is absolutely the coolest
thing to watch God do this
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for somebody and we are going
to hear someone's testimony
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of how she is
dealing with this very step.
00:15:28.04\00:15:31.19
We'll be right
back, stay with us.
00:15:31.22\00:15:33.17