This section is
going to bless you.
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Here in the Café we
now have my friend Janet.
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Janet I had met you long before
I met Heppy and the kids at the
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school any of that.
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We are going to talk,
continue about your recovery,
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but where did you guys meet?
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Did you know him before
he had stopped drinking?
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No I did not know him
before he stopped drinking.
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So can you tell
us where you met?
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Because now you are in recovery,
you are looking at your
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children, everything is new
in your family, so where did
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you guys meet?
How did that happen?
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That happened back in 1979.
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I was a business
manager for the school.
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Janet sister had just been hired
as the elementary principal.
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She lived right across the
street from me, Janet's sister.
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She was during the year telling
me about a sister that she
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had in Portland, Oregon.
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She was thinking about
bringing her to this community
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and helping her get Bachelor's
degree because she was
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wanting to become a teacher.
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So at that point, when all
of this is going around and
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Janet's sister is
talking to you about that,
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you have reclaimed really your
honor or ability to stand and
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get the respect that you so
tried to get in your drinking.
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Now you are getting it
because you really are...
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I'm sober! You're sober!
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So the dream that this guy
had to get men and women to
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stand up sober you
are now working with him,
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encouraging other people
to stand up and be sober.
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How cool is that?
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At the time I didn't understand
the ramifications of all of
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it, but now it was the right
direction for that community.
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To continue with the
story, Janet's sister was the
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elementary principal and
she would invite me over to
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her house to visit and she
was telling me that her sister
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was going to be
coming pretty soon.
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Eventually Janet showed up
but I did not see much of her.
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Janet had a little daughter
and I didn't see much of either
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one of them because I was
visiting with Janet's sister.
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All of a sudden one afternoon,
one evening I was over there
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and she invites her sister
Janet to come out to the living
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room and be part
of our conversation.
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About 15 or 20 minutes into
the conversation she said oh,
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I have to go see Chuck
that was her boyfriend.
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She leaves, so
Janet and I were left.
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Did you know you
were being set up?
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Did you know? No! No! I just
sat down and started talking
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to him and here's a new
person to talk to because I am
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in a community I
don't know anybody.
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So we just started talking
and he was telling me about his
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family and we became friends.
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It was cool
because we became friends.
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So can I ask you, did you
have any issues or history
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with drugs and alcohol?
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Yes, yes I started
drinking probably when I was 21,
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but I was doing
drugs before that.
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Smoking weed,
that kind of thing?
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Smoking weed,
yeah, and taking pills.
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I think it was 19
when I started doing that.
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Just off and on, just
taking them off and on.
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Heppy, and I may be
making an assumption of this,
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you are raised
on the reservation?
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Yes I was.
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Were you raised
on the reservation
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or did you have a
different background?
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Yes I had a
different background,
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No, I wasn't
raised on the reservation.
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My mother's Swedish.
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I remember you saying that to
me and I want to just say that
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you came on and we were doing
another program so I know that
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you came on that other
program and I asked you if would
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where these clothes
for this program to,
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but you were literally
learning about your heritage as
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you were coming in doing
this teaching? Right, right!
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But with that background
were you using at that time?
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What had happened was
that was when I was getting my
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degree, it was probably
about a year after I met
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Heppy that we got married,
so we were married in 1980.
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One of the things that we
both have priorities and said
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that you had to do this
if I'm going to marry you,
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and you have to do this
if I'm going to marry you.
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One of the things that
was his priority was that
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I had to go to treatment.
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I had to stop my drug use and,
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Wouldn't it be good if we
loved each other enough that
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when we made friends or
fell in love that we said,
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you know I love you too
much to watch you destroy
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yourself in this way.
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For you to say that, as
I know I cannot have you in
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my life with you
relying on these drugs,
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even if they are prescription,
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you have to deal with it.
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Right and so I quit,
he had told me his story.
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I thought wow,
this is really cool.
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Someone with this
background can quit drinking?
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On their own?
It just shocked me.
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I thought if he could do
it I can do it, so I did.
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I remember the last time
that I drank was in 1979.
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I was on my way to
visit my brother down in
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Colorado with my sister.
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It was less time than
I remember drinking and
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I didn't drink after that.
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Then we got married in
May of that year, so I said
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I will go to
treatment and I did.
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We got married but my priority
for him was that he had to
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read The Great Controversy.
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That's funny, so what you
are saying is that spiritually,
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because you are
raised in an Adventist home,
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or a Christian home.
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So spiritually you are saying
I want you to actually look
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at some of this stuff.
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And you had not had
that in your background?
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No! So what did you think?
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At that point, I think what
I did is I just brushed off her
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request and set it aside.
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He did! He absolutely, he did.
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It wasn't until 20 years
later that I did pick it up.
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There was lot of things that
went on that we can sit here
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and look back on that
she and I have gone through.
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Not only trying to mend our
own relationship with addiction
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but me bringing six children
into the relationship and
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she bringing in
an additional one.
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That is seven and trying to
melt all those kids together.
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Also how do we
deal with relapse?
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Relapse, going back and
saying what is going to happen
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if I go back to drinking?
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Those kinds of issues, and
then the other issue that we had
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to talk about was we call
and alcoholism, our co-behavior.
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Our not being accretive
enough to our offspring,
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to our neighbors, and
not telling them that hey,
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you need to go get help.
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What we were
doing was oh poor you,
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We will take
care of this for you.
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That's the co-behavior, the
co's in us are worse than the
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drawn out alcoholic.
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So somebody that is co-dependent
how we enable each other
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to stay dysfunctional? Right!
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We do, we allow people to still
lie and confront all of that.
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Janet and I had a hard time
getting through those issues
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and it took about four or
five years just to deal with
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those kinds of things.
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Because you are both being
in treatment and walking through
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that, you could talk out loud
about some of this stuff which
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is better than most couple gets.
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Most couples don't even know
what co-behavior looks like.
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They don't even know how
to sit down and have an honest
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discussion about
dishonest behavior.
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So she and I both did was
about four years after I went
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through
rehabilitation treatment,
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I went back to
treatment as a co-,
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and that one was
harder as a co- then
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being a blown out alcoholic.
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Explain to somebody,
why, what is the difference?
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Most of us have some of
that, and what you are saying is
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I treated both, I've allowed
myself to be educated about
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my alcoholism and in
enabling alcoholics around me.
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For the druggies around me.
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It is harder because you
have to have the inside ability
00:10:05.13\00:10:09.54
to be able to tell that
person that is coming to it and
00:10:09.57\00:10:13.55
saying, oh, I'm having a
hard time here which you really
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understand this and make it
okay if I didn't do it this time
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Or calling in on Mondays!
Or calling in on Mondays
00:10:21.36\00:10:26.02
and simply telling them no!
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You need to go get help and not
say that's okay I understand.
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That kind of behavior is
changing the inside of you.
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How do you address those
kinds of people when in the
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Native American
culture you take care of
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those people that are sick.
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It's the closet people.
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We do not talk about issues in
our family, outside our family
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but in treatment they
were saying at one point,
00:10:54.63\00:10:58.97
I wish we could get
rid of all the grandmas.
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In what sense?
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In the sense that
grandmas keep us little,
00:11:06.80\00:11:09.83
grandmas keep us helpless,
grandma will take care of it.
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Grandma will take care of
us, those kinds of issues.
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Grandma does not make us
stand up and be responsible
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for our own behavior and
that is the kind of thing
00:11:23.60\00:11:27.73
they were trying to teach.
00:11:27.76\00:11:29.17
What is really interesting
to me because I love when you
00:11:29.20\00:11:31.73
bring that up, is that the
first time someone clearly got
00:11:31.76\00:11:34.44
the concept that I am
responsible for my own behavior,
00:11:34.48\00:11:37.12
across to me, I just
brought life into my soul.
00:11:37.16\00:11:41.60
It was like if I am
totally responsible,
00:11:41.64\00:11:44.45
then can I make it
right? Can I actually do this?
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It was a gift and I think
they try to do it gentle or
00:11:48.94\00:11:53.32
whatever but when
I got that concept
00:11:53.35\00:11:55.09
it was absolutely a gift.
00:11:55.13\00:11:57.35
When God did this to me, God
said don't lie to each other,
00:11:57.38\00:12:03.44
don't manipulate
and those things.
00:12:03.48\00:12:05.09
Now every time it comes up I
can hear the Holy Spirit say,
00:12:05.12\00:12:08.97
No! No! No!, and I am like
alright, but it is a real gift
00:12:09.01\00:12:13.13
when somebody says to us
that behavior will trip you up.
00:12:13.17\00:12:17.25
It will throw you
back into your addictions.
00:12:17.29\00:12:19.87
It took us a while to
get through all of this.
00:12:19.91\00:12:22.42
At the same time Janet and
I were going to a Seventh-day
00:12:22.46\00:12:28.82
Adventist church
faithfully, every Sabbath.
00:12:28.86\00:12:31.93
Growing spiritually?
Growing spiritually!
00:12:31.97\00:12:34.97
What she was saying to me
was that I am learning about
00:12:35.01\00:12:39.20
your recovery and I want
you to learn about my path also.
00:12:39.24\00:12:43.40
So we have done
that for 30 years,
00:12:43.43\00:12:47.18
learn about each other's past.
00:12:47.21\00:12:50.21
It wasn't until three years ago.
00:12:50.24\00:12:53.17
That's it? Where you
all of a sudden said,
00:12:53.21\00:12:56.89
oh I should let you finish.
00:12:56.92\00:12:59.52
I'm like three years? I'm sorry!
00:12:59.55\00:13:02.96
So what was going on we
were doing this together because
00:13:03.00\00:13:07.80
that is our relationship.
00:13:07.84\00:13:09.31
How we got married and the
person that married us said,
00:13:09.34\00:13:14.39
you know that marriage
is like those Canadian geese
00:13:14.42\00:13:19.43
out there, they mate for life.
00:13:19.47\00:13:22.93
If one falls away they
don't get married again.
00:13:22.96\00:13:26.98
So take care of each
other and walk together,
00:13:27.02\00:13:31.00
so that is what they told us.
00:13:31.04\00:13:33.15
So we have tried to do
that the best we could.
00:13:33.19\00:13:37.53
Janet has not been very pushy
in the past so about 3 years
00:13:37.56\00:13:47.42
ago I had a
problem with my heart.
00:13:47.45\00:13:53.79
I had a triple
bypass and that came out,
00:13:53.83\00:14:00.19
and everything was fine.
00:14:00.23\00:14:01.97
Along about December or
October, Janet gets a phone call
00:14:02.00\00:14:07.69
from Holbrook asking
her to consider coming down
00:14:07.72\00:14:16.48
and going to work.
00:14:16.52\00:14:17.91
And that is the Holbrook Indian
school that's were we met?
00:14:17.95\00:14:19.81
She said well I'm not
coming unless my husband comes.
00:14:19.85\00:14:26.37
So they said well
ask him. That's funny!
00:14:26.41\00:14:32.34
So this was in October and
I know that God was talking
00:14:32.38\00:14:37.97
to her because she came
to me in November and said
00:14:38.01\00:14:43.57
I need to ask you something.
00:14:43.60\00:14:44.95
I need to ask you,
but never got to it.
00:14:44.99\00:14:46.86
About the first week
in December she asked me.
00:14:46.89\00:14:50.60
She said, I need to
know by next Tuesday,
00:14:50.63\00:14:54.25
she got very assertive.
00:14:54.29\00:14:56.19
They want me to go down
to be considered principal at
00:14:56.23\00:15:01.63
Holbrook Indian school,
but I told them I won't go
00:15:01.66\00:15:07.02
unless you wanted to go.
00:15:07.06\00:15:08.56
I need your answer by Monday
so I can tell them on Tuesday.
00:15:08.59\00:15:13.74
Yeah I know, I think I did
that with the Great Controversy.
00:15:13.77\00:15:18.88
I just set it on the shelf.
00:15:18.92\00:15:21.06
Along about Sunday, she
needed the answer by Monday,
00:15:21.09\00:15:30.56
I was reading the
daily thoughts for the day,
00:15:30.60\00:15:38.44
and it just so happens in
December there was a little
00:15:38.48\00:15:42.19
article about God
talking to Abraham.
00:15:42.22\00:15:44.97
God told Abraham to get
out of this country and go
00:15:45.00\00:15:50.62
to some place
where I want you to go.
00:15:50.65\00:15:53.58
I will make you a great nation.
00:15:53.62\00:15:55.70
Then on Monday I read
the same message again.
00:15:59.15\00:16:02.26
On Tuesday I read
the same message again.
00:16:04.21\00:16:07.18
Then Tuesday afternoon
Janet came in and said,
00:16:07.22\00:16:11.51
I need the answer what is it?
00:16:11.54\00:16:13.64
I said here it is right here.
00:16:13.67\00:16:15.45
And it was clearly there?
00:16:15.48\00:16:17.55
He was clearly there for him.
00:16:17.59\00:16:19.59
So I said I'm already
there, I don't know about you.
00:16:19.62\00:16:26.82
So that is where our journey
started with going to Holbrook.
00:16:26.85\00:16:34.28
I want to ask you, what
amazes me in our recovery,
00:16:34.31\00:16:38.17
is what I have learned for
myself is that I thought my
00:16:38.20\00:16:42.02
recovery was
just to clean me up.
00:16:42.06\00:16:43.85
Just to stop me from,
God didn't want me to be a
00:16:43.88\00:16:46.51
heroine addict, or an alcoholic,
or homeless and all that.
00:16:46.54\00:16:49.42
I think it was a point
as I walked in my recovery,
00:16:50.70\00:16:53.59
as I started to get
it, that God finally said,
00:16:53.62\00:16:56.44
is there a point where
you can let that go and let Me
00:16:56.47\00:16:59.26
show you who you are
and what I want you to be?
00:16:59.30\00:17:02.32
When He says to you I want
you to move, I need you to do
00:17:02.35\00:17:05.53
something bigger than
yourself and your recovery,
00:17:05.57\00:17:07.77
is to help these
kids to stand up.
00:17:07.81\00:17:10.34
Did you get that sense that
we are moving to a incredible..
00:17:10.38\00:17:16.56
It's an incredible journey.
It is an incredible journey!
00:17:16.60\00:17:22.72
God has blessed both Janet and
I, giving us the same direction
00:17:22.75\00:17:30.94
because we both have worked
in education for a long time.
00:17:30.97\00:17:35.14
Maybe some insight
on how to help young
00:17:35.17\00:17:39.32
Native American
children to become...
00:17:39.35\00:17:42.46
That are lost in
addiction and need
00:17:42.50\00:17:45.57
somebody to stand them
up, maybe their families
00:17:45.61\00:17:48.22
have been in addictions?
00:17:48.25\00:17:49.42
Maybe, that would give
them some sound footing in which
00:17:49.45\00:17:55.36
to begin their own journeys.
00:17:55.39\00:17:57.65
Exactly because you, what
was interesting to me when I did
00:17:57.68\00:18:00.79
come out to the school, and
Janet you and I talked and I
00:18:00.82\00:18:04.74
realized, I almost heard
you in your testimony that God
00:18:04.77\00:18:08.43
was standing up this
incredible woman of God in this
00:18:08.47\00:18:12.06
relationship, but then I sit
with the kids and realize that
00:18:12.09\00:18:15.49
there are kids that
are absolutely incredible.
00:18:15.53\00:18:17.92
at the school, who
have no idea who they are.
00:18:17.96\00:18:20.60
The gift that you give them
at the school is to show them
00:18:20.63\00:18:25.70
who they are, and
allow them to walk into that.
00:18:25.74\00:18:29.60
The school started in
1946 and they have never had an
00:18:29.63\00:18:35.33
Native American
person heading that school.
00:18:35.36\00:18:38.27
So when I came on there was
a lot of hype about me being
00:18:38.30\00:18:42.55
a Native American, being
the first to head the school.
00:18:42.59\00:18:47.49
It scared me because it
was what do they expect me to
00:18:47.53\00:18:52.40
create miracles
and this and that.
00:18:52.44\00:18:55.62
And I can't fail? I can't fail!
00:18:55.65\00:18:58.76
It really scared me at first,
but then I got, what was so
00:18:58.80\00:19:03.76
neat, I was starting to
talk with the kids and starting
00:19:03.79\00:19:08.71
to listen to their stories.
00:19:08.75\00:19:10.67
Every single child that
goes to that school has a story.
00:19:10.71\00:19:16.16
All the stories that I heard
so far, have not been very good.
00:19:16.19\00:19:23.16
They have been very hard
and it makes me cry to hear
00:19:23.19\00:19:30.08
the stories inside
I can hear their hurt.
00:19:30.12\00:19:33.68
So for me to be there, and
all the experience that I have
00:19:33.71\00:19:39.52
gone through, all the
education experiences,
00:19:39.55\00:19:42.12
I have worked on reservations
most of my career was
00:19:42.16\00:19:47.93
working on reservations
with children and learning about
00:19:47.97\00:19:51.74
all kinds of different
ways to run a school and
00:19:51.78\00:19:56.24
how to do things
and to work with kids.
00:19:56.28\00:19:58.73
It is just something to
me is that God has prepared
00:19:58.76\00:20:04.30
all of this, all of this.
00:20:04.34\00:20:07.27
You can feel He is hand in it?
00:20:07.31\00:20:09.37
Yes, even when we were driving
over here and it is really
00:20:09.41\00:20:14.40
bad out and snowing, even
with that I said to my husband,
00:20:14.43\00:20:18.77
I said, isn't it wonderful
how God prepared us to even
00:20:18.81\00:20:23.12
drive in the
snow for the school?
00:20:23.15\00:20:25.70
We lived in South Dakota
and the snow and ice is all
00:20:25.73\00:20:29.71
South Dakota and we
know how to do this.
00:20:29.74\00:20:32.02
It is wonderful how He has
done that, every single thing
00:20:32.05\00:20:36.58
that we have gone
through is something that we can
00:20:36.61\00:20:39.70
use at the
school to help the kids.
00:20:39.74\00:20:42.02
That I think amazes
me more than anything.
00:20:42.05\00:20:45.53
I think as addicts that we
think it is about one thing.
00:20:45.56\00:20:49.41
At first we think it is
only about our recovery.
00:20:49.44\00:20:52.10
It is only the fact that
God doesn't want us to drink.
00:20:52.14\00:20:56.05
I think all of heaven says
no, it is so bigger than that.
00:20:56.08\00:20:59.96
Because you don't
even know who you are.
00:20:59.99\00:21:01.61
You don't know how incredible
you are as a woman of God.
00:21:01.65\00:21:05.31
As the giftings
He has given you.
00:21:05.34\00:21:07.39
As your ability to speak into
the life of the people around
00:21:07.42\00:21:10.18
you, as a man of God, the
giftings I have given you.
00:21:10.22\00:21:12.99
When the guy stood in front
of you at the school and said
00:21:13.03\00:21:16.85
we have got to reclaim our
community, he was really saying
00:21:16.89\00:21:20.36
something much bigger than
just getting someone sober.
00:21:20.40\00:21:23.84
We have to reclaim
the people, a group.
00:21:23.87\00:21:27.40
I think in my recovery what was
interesting to me was getting
00:21:27.44\00:21:31.62
to a point where that is huge,
I don't know how to do that
00:21:31.65\00:21:35.80
so I have to let God.
00:21:35.84\00:21:38.23
As soon as you turn it over,
and I want to speak to anybody
00:21:38.26\00:21:41.10
that is even watching right
now, as soon as you turn it over
00:21:41.13\00:21:44.13
He literally will speak into
your life and let you know who
00:21:44.16\00:21:47.13
you are intended to
be, and then stand you up.
00:21:47.16\00:21:50.05
All it takes is our willingness
to let go and let God.
00:21:50.08\00:21:54.28
It is huge, but do you, do we
have any idea how huge that is?
00:21:54.32\00:21:58.75
When we are in the
middle of the process?
00:21:58.78\00:22:00.52
Oh no, no, when I was younger
I think I was about 18, well 17,
00:22:00.56\00:22:07.32
I was visiting my dad and
he said, what do you want be?
00:22:07.36\00:22:10.59
I had just listen to somebody
that was on TV, and Evangelist.
00:22:10.62\00:22:16.34
I said I wanted
to be an Evangelist.
00:22:16.38\00:22:19.11
He said oh, okay!
00:22:19.15\00:22:22.04
He said don't you want to go
to art school, you are really
00:22:24.43\00:22:27.48
good at art, I can
send you to art school.
00:22:27.52\00:22:30.73
I said no, I'd like
to be an Evangelist.
00:22:30.76\00:22:33.90
You and I one time were
talking and it was really funny
00:22:33.94\00:22:37.02
when we work together.
00:22:37.06\00:22:38.25
I'm doing a week of prayer,
and you were blessing me by
00:22:38.29\00:22:41.72
letting me come to the
school, and you and I with the
00:22:41.75\00:22:45.12
Holy Spirit were so being
ministered to that we pulled off
00:22:45.15\00:22:49.46
on the side of the road
and just sat as women of God.
00:22:49.49\00:22:52.72
I realized at that point
that you are an Evangelist.
00:22:52.75\00:22:55.94
You are a voice for these kids.
00:22:55.98\00:23:00.37
You will teach people
what ever they want to know.
00:23:00.40\00:23:03.55
We need to know and we
don't have time on this program.
00:23:03.58\00:23:06.06
but we need to know how
ignorant we are when we speak of
00:23:06.09\00:23:08.53
the culture that you represent.
00:23:08.56\00:23:10.49
Do you know what I mean, it's
because I don't know anything.
00:23:10.52\00:23:12.64
I think I know something
and you look at me real kind
00:23:12.67\00:23:15.56
and just like Cheri
don't even go there.
00:23:15.59\00:23:19.80
There is so much
education that needs to happen.
00:23:19.83\00:23:23.46
I am going to open it up
with the kids to ask a question
00:23:23.49\00:23:26.96
if they have one.
00:23:27.00\00:23:27.97
So I'm going to
start here with Manuel,
00:23:27.98\00:23:31.51
do you have a question
that you would like to ask
00:23:31.55\00:23:33.07
or a comment?
00:23:33.11\00:23:34.19
Mr. Ross what make
you want to stop drinking?
00:23:35.46\00:23:39.17
Well I think the reason I wanted
to stop drinking is because
00:23:41.43\00:23:45.89
I had six kids that
were living with me.
00:23:45.93\00:23:49.73
My oldest son was
about 14 or 15 years old.
00:23:49.77\00:23:53.50
I began to realize that
they needed more from a father
00:23:53.54\00:23:59.62
then what I was giving them.
00:23:59.66\00:24:01.07
So I basically
sobered up for my children.
00:24:01.10\00:24:04.98
I know in
treatment they tell you,
00:24:05.02\00:24:08.04
you need to sober
up for a higher power.
00:24:08.08\00:24:10.46
But my higher power at
that point was my kids.
00:24:10.49\00:24:14.49
So I sobered up for them.
00:24:14.53\00:24:16.36
So you didn't
do it for yourself?
00:24:16.40\00:24:18.79
Not at the beginning, it
took me about three years to
00:24:18.83\00:24:24.95
understand what the
real goal of recovery was.
00:24:24.99\00:24:29.44
It is a very selfish
goal in the Indian community,
00:24:29.47\00:24:33.85
but I needed to understand that
I needed to sober up for me.
00:24:33.89\00:24:37.91
I did, it took me
about two years to find my
00:24:37.94\00:24:44.57
spiritual avenue in which
allowed me to feel good about me
00:24:44.61\00:24:50.31
And so it took me a
long ways after that.
00:24:50.34\00:24:56.04
I think what a lot of people
don't understand with alcohol
00:24:56.08\00:24:59.97
and with drugs, is that usually
years of using alcohol you
00:25:00.01\00:25:03.22
don't have a sense of who you
are, what you believe, or what
00:25:03.25\00:25:07.46
you think, everything is about
the next high, or the next drink
00:25:07.50\00:25:11.67
It is really tough to get
in touch with anything that
00:25:11.71\00:25:14.91
is worth saving or living for.
00:25:14.94\00:25:17.08
With the understanding
to, as a practicing alcoholic,
00:25:17.12\00:25:22.61
when I started
drinking I was 13.
00:25:22.65\00:25:28.31
When I sobered up I was 35,
00:25:28.34\00:25:33.85
but with the
mentality of a 13-year-old.
00:25:33.89\00:25:37.90
You know that is the truth.
00:25:37.94\00:25:40.20
I already had grown kids and I
was younger than my oldest son.
00:25:40.23\00:25:45.30
What is really funny when
you said that your wife is like,
00:25:45.34\00:25:50.37
yes, exactly 13.
00:25:50.41\00:25:53.12
Because we get
stuck at that behavior.
00:25:53.16\00:25:55.90
Where ever you start drinking
is the age that you stay
00:25:59.66\00:26:03.24
at until you quit.
00:26:03.28\00:26:05.29
So if you are 13, like he
was, and he quit at 35 his
00:26:05.32\00:26:11.34
mentality was still 13.
00:26:11.37\00:26:14.70
So you grow 2 ways,
you grow in being able to,
00:26:14.73\00:26:18.05
we still say we are
recovering alcoholics,
00:26:18.08\00:26:20.99
we are still
alcoholics no matter what,
00:26:21.03\00:26:23.90
we are still alcoholics.
00:26:23.93\00:26:25.66
But as we recover we also
will recover in maturity level
00:26:25.70\00:26:30.01
so as we get older our
lives get better because we get
00:26:30.05\00:26:34.33
to become adults
instead of being children.
00:26:34.36\00:26:36.78
What is really fun to me
about the whole recovery,
00:26:36.81\00:26:38.65
is learning to even play.
00:26:38.69\00:26:40.42
My play was so twisted
because of the addictions,
00:26:40.46\00:26:44.11
so learning how to
play and laugh and socialize
00:26:44.15\00:26:47.77
and be responsible.
00:26:47.80\00:26:50.19
Somebody would say just be
responsible, I would be going
00:26:50.22\00:26:52.69
I don't want to, I so
don't want to do that.
00:26:52.73\00:26:55.86
We are these rebellious kids
and it is really interesting
00:26:55.89\00:27:00.56
when you said you got
married in that stage.
00:27:00.60\00:27:03.67
So the first five years,
you say that very easily but
00:27:03.70\00:27:07.10
it would was pretty
tough to grow up together.
00:27:07.13\00:27:10.62
Yeah very hard.
00:27:10.66\00:27:12.06
I think it got easier
when I found a little sense of
00:27:12.09\00:27:15.79
my own spiritual growth.
00:27:15.83\00:27:17.68
I found what God meant
to me at that point in time.
00:27:17.71\00:27:23.31
And God asked me through
various ways to keep walking,
00:27:23.35\00:27:28.91
keep walking I
have something for you.
00:27:28.94\00:27:31.61
I'm still waiting for
that, but in God's own time
00:27:31.65\00:27:37.74
He will come
through and I believe that.
00:27:37.77\00:27:40.53
We have another question
Lorenzo you had a question.
00:27:40.56\00:27:43.14
Yeah I know part of the effects
when you give up something
00:27:43.17\00:27:48.85
like also giving up
everything about it.
00:27:48.88\00:27:52.31
For both of you what do
you miss about giving up
00:27:52.35\00:27:58.20
your addictions and
what are you happy that
00:27:58.24\00:28:01.65
you've gained in return?
00:28:01.68\00:28:03.16
That is a great
question! Good question!
00:28:05.01\00:28:06.61
I don't miss anything about
giving up my addictions because
00:28:06.64\00:28:12.22
I was so afraid of it,
When I decided to quit.
00:28:12.25\00:28:15.22
I decided that was it, so I
was looking for a way to quit.
00:28:15.25\00:28:20.60
I did not want
to do this anymore.
00:28:20.64\00:28:22.82
I didn't want to get drunk,
I didn't want to, I had a child
00:28:22.85\00:28:26.52
that was three years old
and I couldn't be a mother
00:28:26.56\00:28:32.28
and be that way.
00:28:32.31\00:28:34.31
So I was looking for a way,
I didn't know how to do that.
00:28:34.34\00:28:40.29
I didn't know what to do
and so when I met Heppy then it
00:28:40.32\00:28:46.24
was like wow, here
is someone that quit.
00:28:46.27\00:28:50.23
He gave me
strength because he quit.
00:28:50.27\00:28:54.16
So there is nothing in addiction
in fact we have a saying
00:28:54.20\00:29:00.00
as an alcoholic, once you
quit if you take another drink,
00:29:00.03\00:29:05.80
then you are lost for ever
because you can't come back.
00:29:05.84\00:29:11.09
It is hard, you lose everything
and that is too much to
00:29:11.12\00:29:16.34
lose so there is
nothing about addiction that
00:29:16.37\00:29:19.28
I would not ever, ever want.
00:29:19.31\00:29:20.52
I don't like the highs
I don't like any of it.
00:29:20.55\00:29:23.78
Having to lie and
manipulate to make excuses
00:29:23.82\00:29:27.01
at home and at work.
00:29:27.05\00:29:28.41
Exactly, exactly!
00:29:28.45\00:29:29.78
The only thing, the
thing on my own addiction that
00:29:30.88\00:29:34.50
worked for me is I
could totally escape.
00:29:34.53\00:29:37.35
If I was in pain, or dealing
with something in my past,
00:29:37.38\00:29:41.35
or some stress I didn't want
to deal with, one thing that
00:29:41.38\00:29:44.76
worked for me every time for
me is I could totally escape.
00:29:44.80\00:29:48.35
It was hard for me to learn,
like when you said what did you
00:29:48.38\00:29:51.90
replace it with, in learn
to replace that you and learn
00:29:51.93\00:29:55.37
not to escape with something
that is going to create
00:29:55.41\00:29:58.81
more issues for me.
00:29:58.85\00:30:00.05
I had to replace it with
something that was healthier.
00:30:00.09\00:30:02.27
Did you find that?
00:30:02.31\00:30:03.83
It took me a long time to
find that and God was what
00:30:03.86\00:30:09.24
I replaced it with.
00:30:09.28\00:30:11.12
Because He is so cool, I
have a crush on Him right now.
00:30:11.15\00:30:14.59
He does such wonderful things
00:30:14.62\00:30:17.74
and I didn't
really understand God
00:30:17.78\00:30:21.10
that much and until the
last couple years when I
00:30:21.14\00:30:25.09
ask God to please
help me to know Him.
00:30:25.13\00:30:28.10
What kind of things did He do?
00:30:28.13\00:30:32.04
Because that is big recovery
stuff, show me Your face.
00:30:32.08\00:30:37.53
Part of it was I started
reading the Bible and I asked
00:30:37.57\00:30:42.98
God what part shall I read?
00:30:43.02\00:30:45.25
He said read Matthew, Mark,
Luke and John because those are
00:30:45.28\00:30:49.59
My in the red words,
read that over and over.
00:30:49.62\00:30:52.70
In the red for
people who don't know that,
00:30:52.74\00:30:55.75
the red letters are the
words of Christ Himself.
00:30:55.79\00:30:59.45
Yes, and so I think I read those
books may be 5 or 10 times,
00:30:59.49\00:31:04.93
just going over it.
00:31:04.97\00:31:07.01
Now I'm going back to it
again, I am reading it again.
00:31:07.04\00:31:09.73
Every time I read it feels like
I am learning more, and more,
00:31:09.77\00:31:15.78
and He is giving me
more strength to do that.
00:31:15.81\00:31:20.02
I used to get into
depression, severe depression.
00:31:25.78\00:31:28.76
They were so debilitating
that I would end up in a corner
00:31:28.80\00:31:34.38
crying for hours
and hours and hours.
00:31:34.41\00:31:38.04
Then when I couldn't cry anymore
then it was like it took me
00:31:38.08\00:31:44.37
2 to 3 weeks to be
able to even function again.
00:31:44.40\00:31:48.88
As I stop
drinking those continued.
00:31:48.92\00:31:58.64
A lot of people will say
you self medicated to not deal
00:31:58.68\00:32:03.56
with drinking and drugs.
00:32:03.60\00:32:05.12
Right! So those continued
but what happened was about
00:32:05.15\00:32:10.37
3 years ago I started
to get into a depression.
00:32:10.41\00:32:15.74
I got into it but it was
like for maybe a week instead
00:32:15.78\00:32:20.37
of 2 or 3,4 weeks, it was a
week and when I came out again
00:32:20.40\00:32:24.96
God helped me out of it.
00:32:24.99\00:32:26.36
He said you
can't do that anymore,
00:32:26.40\00:32:29.70
you don't have any more
energy. You're dead to that now.
00:32:29.74\00:32:33.21
The energy that it takes
for you to come back to Me
00:32:33.25\00:32:37.25
is too much, you do
not have that anymore.
00:32:37.29\00:32:40.25
You cannot get
depressed anymore.
00:32:40.29\00:32:43.47
So every time Satan comes
to me and says you are not a
00:32:43.51\00:32:48.07
very good person, you do
this, even the school things,
00:32:48.11\00:32:52.63
you are not a good principle.
00:32:52.67\00:32:54.75
You do this, I have to say
to Satan, get away from me.
00:32:54.78\00:32:58.81
I'm not listening anymore.
00:32:58.85\00:33:01.00
Right, God is here and I
don't have the energy and
00:33:01.03\00:33:03.71
He said that and I'm not
going to do that anymore.
00:33:03.74\00:33:09.50
That has made me love God
so much more because to be
00:33:09.54\00:33:15.26
relieved of those
depressions it's huge.
00:33:15.30\00:33:18.75
What is really interesting
because I think that is
00:33:18.79\00:33:22.54
the other side of recovery.
00:33:22.57\00:33:23.78
It is not only freedom
from the drugs and alcohol,
00:33:23.82\00:33:26.30
but let Me show you a
different way to live.
00:33:26.33\00:33:28.95
Don't receive the
depression anymore.
00:33:28.98\00:33:30.59
What He told me with mine,
is when all that stuff starts
00:33:30.63\00:33:33.68
hitting you, don't let it
play out in your head and go out
00:33:33.71\00:33:36.73
and ride your bike,
go out and do something.
00:33:36.76\00:33:39.78
I have a bike that I ride.
00:33:39.82\00:33:41.43
It is really interesting
that God says, let Me show you
00:33:41.47\00:33:44.61
a different way, everything
that you use to do, got you
00:33:44.65\00:33:47.75
to the place where you
wanted to drink or use,
00:33:47.79\00:33:50.57
so don't do it that way.
00:33:50.61\00:33:51.98
He told me to
sing songs in my head.
00:33:52.01\00:33:54.99
So I am not a very good singer,
00:33:55.02\00:33:57.44
so in my head I am really good.
00:33:57.48\00:33:59.86
I can carry a tune.
00:34:01.63\00:34:02.62
I can carry a tune I
know all the tunes in my head.
00:34:02.65\00:34:05.23
I love that.
00:34:05.27\00:34:06.99
I asked God to
really help me to try and
00:34:07.03\00:34:09.39
remember those words.
00:34:09.43\00:34:10.85
That is what has helped me
so much is that every step of
00:34:10.89\00:34:16.78
the way, sometimes I fall back.
00:34:16.81\00:34:18.54
There are times when I fall
back and I start saying what
00:34:18.58\00:34:23.60
am I doing here? I'm trying
to help the kids in here I'm
00:34:23.63\00:34:28.61
doing, not doing good
and God says, stop it!
00:34:28.65\00:34:35.27
You are doing good!
00:34:35.30\00:34:36.36
Yeah, stop it, you are fine.
00:34:36.39\00:34:37.85
So there is nothing about
addiction to me is of any use.
00:34:37.88\00:34:45.11
So what did you replace it with?
00:34:45.15\00:34:47.15
Because the second part
of your question was what
00:34:47.19\00:34:49.49
did you replace it with?
00:34:49.53\00:34:52.74
In actuality I don't know.
00:34:52.77\00:34:55.95
You said God for one.
00:34:55.99\00:34:57.63
Because I learned later as
I started to read the Bible.
00:34:57.67\00:35:01.69
Can I answer for you then?
00:35:01.73\00:35:02.93
Yes, how about your
passion for these kids?
00:35:02.96\00:35:07.00
Oh yeah, teaching,
teaching and being with.
00:35:07.04\00:35:11.04
Finding someone to reach out to.
00:35:11.07\00:35:14.45
12 step programs
talk about taking
00:35:14.48\00:35:17.82
the message to someone else.
00:35:17.85\00:35:18.95
The message that I learned
I'm taking to someone else,
00:35:18.99\00:35:20.93
and I think if
we do not do that.
00:35:20.97\00:35:23.81
We actually get stuck,
there is a thing about saying
00:35:23.84\00:35:28.21
I cannot take everything
that I have been blessed with.
00:35:28.24\00:35:31.80
I can't take all this
thing I'm being healed with and
00:35:31.84\00:35:35.36
keep it in my own pockets.
00:35:35.40\00:35:36.85
Help somebody else with it.
00:35:36.89\00:35:38.27
It feels really weird if you
try to do that, you just can't.
00:35:38.31\00:35:43.11
You can't and I worked in
Native American schools almost
00:35:43.14\00:35:47.91
the whole time
that I have worked.
00:35:47.94\00:35:49.97
I tried working in
non-native schools and
00:35:50.01\00:35:55.96
that doesn't work for me.
00:35:55.99\00:35:57.80
It doesn't work
because it's not your calling.
00:35:57.84\00:35:59.01
We have so ran out of time and
it kills me to say goodbye to
00:35:59.05\00:36:02.62
you two, I want to say goodbye
and say thank you for coming.
00:36:02.66\00:36:06.68
I want to say that if anybody
out there hears and wants to
00:36:06.71\00:36:10.70
pray for your Ministry,
pray for you individually,
00:36:10.73\00:36:14.17
and then the Ministry
and man I love you guys.
00:36:14.20\00:36:17.60
We will be right
back, stay with us!
00:36:17.64\00:36:21.68