Welcome back!
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Man, even though I want to
just get right back into the
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interview, Gerri you were
talking you did the suicide
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attempt and you are in
the mental health hospital,
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that's where
recovery has started for you.
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I want to ask you, there
are a few times I covered this
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topic where
somebody goes into counseling
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or going to a church setting and
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end up having an
affair, but there is
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a friend of mine that has, her
parents were the ones who had
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the affair so she, as a kid,
got the fallout from all that.
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She will e-mail me when I
get home and say nobody talks
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about the kids or the
family that is affected.
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So I want to ask you a little
bit about the recovery from
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the affair, about the wife
of the pastor, and I know that
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it was abuse on your part that
in that counseling situation
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you should have been
protected but what did
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healing look like for everyone?
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One of the things that made
a huge difference to keep me
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from going back to where I
was because I couldn't live with
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the guilt and going back to
a suicide attempt was making
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amends with my pastor's wife,
being able to pray with her
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afterward, after
this whole thing blew up.
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And it did blow up, the pastor
lost his job and got shipped
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out, I thought about
leaving the church at that time,
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and some people did find
out and I really should've been
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booted out, I should've been
excommunicated at that time.
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The church that we are
still in really put their arms
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around my husband and I and
supported us and drew us in.
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Some did not know about the
affair and that drug abuse and
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the suicide attempt, some new
about all of it and supported
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us and loved us through that.
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That was huge for my husband.
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Why was it, because you
know to me what is really
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interesting about that is
that I think a lot of us are
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ignorant to the role as
counselor, a pastor to protect
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you from those kind of things?
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When you step in, you
know protect you from sexual
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intimacy's, from getting
too close to your counselor,
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getting in situations
where that opportunity develops.
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So was it that the
church recognized that you were
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vulnerable at that time?
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Well afterward I think so,
even though I carried guilt,
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a lot of guilt for it.
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Lot of the people that knew
saw it as an injustice, that I
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shouldn't have been
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counseling with a man anyway.
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One on one that shouldn't
have happened to start with.
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But it did and I see where that
was set up to take place now
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because the intent was there
on one side before it happened.
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But our church members did
support us and pray with my
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husband and support him.
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And the pastor's wife even
came up and said I am so sorry,
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I could see how that could.
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The pastor's wife making
amends with her was huge,
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and to be able to
pray with her about that,
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being able to apologize to her,
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being able to tell her how
sorry that I was and what I had
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done to her family and
what my part was in that.
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It was huge for
healing, it was making amends,
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and I think it's huge and we
know in AA that making amends
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is a huge part of healing.
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where we can make amends.
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Let me just go to the
Bible because it is really
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interesting in the Bible says
that if you have stolen money,
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or done anything go take care
of it, payback and even with
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one tax collector that
paid back like three times,
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four times the amount
and so it says to make amends
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and take care of that stuff.
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If you have lied to
somebody going make that right.
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If you have something against
a brother or they against you
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leave everything
here for a minute and go
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take care of that and come back.
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So when we talk about a
12 step group making amends,
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it really is a biblical concept.
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If you can, without
causing more damage,
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if you can make amends.
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You are saying that during
that coming out of the hospital,
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suicide attempt, after
all that it was making amends,
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stepping into
recovery for the first time
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in a very honest way.
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People were praying with
you, for you, covering you and
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all that and so now how
did your legs get stronger
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under you in a spiritual sense?
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the first thing that I know
that was absolutely so different
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this time is I was
live in a transparent life.
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I didn't have
anything under the rug anymore,
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it was all out in the open
and being able to make amends.
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You know you just
scared somebody watching?
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You put everything out in
the open are you kidding me?
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That is a huge one!
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It's so healing, that is
the only way to unload it.
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When I could make amends, and
pray with somebody that I hurt,
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and apologize just make the
apology, I was able to unload it
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I didn't have to
carry that anymore.
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Now everything is in the open,
everything that I have done
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and my life becomes transparent.
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Then I asked people to
help me be accountable.
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Where am I? What am I doing?
What am I spending my money on?
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Do I have time alone, is my car
turning it is amazing how my car
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can be going down the street
and turn into a liquor store,
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but if I see the
pastor's car behind me,
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my car doesn't turn.
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I thought I did it
on my own, it doesn't,
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I can actually
make it go straight.
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That's funny!
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But I found that out that
if my life was transparent,
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and I told people
knew what I was doing.
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I would tell somebody I
feel like I really need to use,
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being accountable.
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So if you and I were
friends, you would trust me with
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some of those
secrets about yourself?
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Some of those secrets
about yourself and even say,
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Cheri keep me accountable.
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So you would not do
that with everybody?
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I mean you wouldn't just
choose somebody randomly,
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but you trusted someone.
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I trusted somebody and if
I say Cheri, this happened
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and a bill is late, I'm
going to have a late payment and
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I am frustrated about this
and I really want to go get
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something to drink
or go get some cocaine,
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call me an hour
and see what I'm doing.
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Either I am going to
call you are come over.
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We are going to go out,
we're going take a walk,
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we are going to hang out.
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What really is interesting
is that you did exactly what
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you are supposed to, be
accountable, don't hide anymore,
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and be transparent.
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At least tell one other person,
and then you go back because
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people said it is a
good 12-step concept.
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That is a Bible concept, the
Bible says pray for one another,
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confess to one
another so you may be healed.
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So it is a matter of, if
you tell me you are struggling
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with the lying or using
whatever I am going to pray with
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you then, but when I get
home I'm just, God be with Gerri
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today, she is really
struggling with this.
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She is really trying to not
drink, or not lie, or not go
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there mentally
and all that stuff.
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So it's like being able
to say open up, I'm going to
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open up with you.
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And being able
to pray, it's huge.
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Prayer is huge, the
power of prayer is incredible.
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Like I said my mother
never quit praying for me.
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Other people started pray
for me when they found out
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what a bad
situation I actually was in.
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It was worse than some people
wanted to even talk about.
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You know the deep dark
secrets that, all of us have
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something probably in our
closet that we don't want out.
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But when everything came
out it was a huge relief.
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Oh the burden that it
lifted was unbelievable.
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And being able to pray with
people because I could be honest
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with people, there is
so much power in prayer.
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Oh Cheri I see people say, I
have read all the books and I
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sent them to rehab and I've
done this and I've done every
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thing I can too.
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I guess all there
is left to do is pray.
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Like it is the most
feeble thing we can possibly do.
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It is a last resort, it is
the most powerful thing we can
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do and we need to do it
first and best and always.
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We can avail ourselves
of all the power of heaven,
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by a thought or a word.
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And to be able to pray together,
like if I were to ask you
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to pray with me about this,
where two or more are gathered
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in My name, I will be in their
midst, and we have promises.
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What is interesting to me is
people nowadays are starting to
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really look at the
fact of the power of prayer,
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and how intense it is, and they
will have somebody in recovery,
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after heart surgery and say
let's have the staff pray for
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them, whether they
believe or not doesn't matter.
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They are going to
do a study on that.
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So just say the right
words and pray for him.
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Over here, I feel bad for the
person that doesn't get prayer,
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but over here let's
not pray for this guy.
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So this guy gets sick more
often and has more complications
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then this guy over here that
got prayed for and it didn't
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even matter whether prayed for
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Bible believers are nonbelievers
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It didn't matter if they
were the same town or not.
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They said study after study
after study is reflecting that.
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I am thinking that we still
believe somehow that it is just
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lip service, instead that it is
the power of God to save lives
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Or we limit God with our lack
of faith, God is not limited at
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all, we limit Him with our lack
of faith and don't even pray
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about some things because we
don't take we are going to get
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the answers and we think
our faith is going to shrink.
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I believe we need
to pray for everything.
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The Bible says pray
without ceasing, cracks me up.
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Pray without ceasing.
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You know what I do now,
which is really amazing,
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I'll say God,
before I leave the door,
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I say I know you have
some cool things planned today,
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I pray that I don't miss them.
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Show me who is in a box today,
show me what You're doing today.
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Little tiny things all day long,
so it is like even being able
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to say I'm going to pray into
my intimate connection with God.
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I'm going to pray
that into my life because
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I know that is God's desire.
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So people started to pray
for you, you started actually
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leaning on God for
that healing more and more.
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And learning to pray also,
when I went to camp meeting and
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heard a lady talk about a
prayer and the power of prayer
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and she was 80 years old.
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She was a missionary
nurse, working in Africa at 80.
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I thought I'm going to be a
nurse, that is what I want to.
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I went to school. You did!
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I enrolled in school that fall
and even with a fried brain,
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that I had fried on drugs,
God got me through school with a
00:10:13.74\00:10:16.87
4.0 and I became an R.N.
and have worked in surgery,
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I work in surgery now and
get to pray for my patients in a
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public hospital,
I can't bring it up,
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but I do get to
pray for people now.
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I know the power of prayer
and have seen it in my life,
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but now I get to
see it every day.
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God has shown me how powerful
prayer is in my own life and
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because of that I have
confidence and assurance that
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He can and will and is
still a prayer answering God.
00:10:46.63\00:10:49.47
And God is still
a God of miracles.
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What really is because I
never get from you that recovery
00:10:50.99\00:10:54.36
is a piece of cake, I
don't have any problems.
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I don't get that from you
but I get that strength that
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you said, I am taking it to God.
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I do ask people to pray
for me and I know it is a daily
00:11:02.33\00:11:05.80
connection with God.
00:11:05.83\00:11:07.83
It has to be, it
has to be a daily thing.
00:11:07.87\00:11:10.52
You gave me, one time, a
prayer button and that cracked
00:11:10.56\00:11:16.03
me up because I
started to wear it.
00:11:16.06\00:11:18.30
All it says is
May I pray for you?
00:11:18.34\00:11:20.51
And first before tell my
story, I want you to say where
00:11:20.55\00:11:23.76
did those come from and why
did you make those buttons up?
00:11:23.80\00:11:26.93
Because like I said May I
Pray For You? is all it says.
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A very simple concept,
it had to be, because I have
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a very simple mind and
God knew that, but my brother
00:11:32.79\00:11:35.46
who is also an R.N..
00:11:35.49\00:11:36.64
He and I was talking one day
about how do you know who you
00:11:36.67\00:11:39.87
can pray for your patients, we
both work in public hospitals.
00:11:39.91\00:11:42.66
How do you know
who you can pray for?
00:11:42.69\00:11:44.39
We like to pray for our
patients and some patients would
00:11:44.42\00:11:47.41
want to be prayed for
but we can't bring it up for
00:11:47.45\00:11:50.62
fear of losing our job.
00:11:50.65\00:11:51.88
I said I would like to just
liked to wear a T-shirt that
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says right across the front,
I'll pray for you if you want.
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He said why don't
you, why don't you?
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He challenged me and I didn't
think I could wear the T-shirt
00:11:59.48\00:12:03.22
but I remembered this
little pin maker that I used for
00:12:03.25\00:12:06.67
vacation Bible school that makes
these little round pins and
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you can put your name on it
or anything that you want to.
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A would say May I Pray For You?
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I had a little sticky note,
and it is still here my Bible.
00:12:13.39\00:12:15.86
A little sticky note
that says May I Pray For You?
00:12:15.90\00:12:18.92
Very tiny I wrote it and
that is the original May I Pray
00:12:18.95\00:12:21.78
for you? and a pin was born
and I've been wearing it about
00:12:21.82\00:12:24.61
a year and a half now.
00:12:24.65\00:12:25.68
Do you have a pin
with you? I have one!
00:12:25.71\00:12:27.56
May I Pray For You? and I wear
it on my shirt or my scrub top.
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I used to just wear it at
the hospital, now I wear it
00:12:33.58\00:12:35.77
everywhere and am praying
with the girl in Subway, and the
00:12:35.81\00:12:38.77
girl at McDonald's, and my
bank teller, and my husband's
00:12:38.80\00:12:41.73
pharmacist, and the
manager of the grocery store,
00:12:41.77\00:12:44.84
and coworkers, and my
prayer list has gotten huge.
00:12:44.88\00:12:47.92
Because what is
really interesting like you,
00:12:47.95\00:12:50.20
is for one how do you, people
need prayer and you realize
00:12:50.23\00:12:54.51
that you've
yourself needed prayer?
00:12:54.54\00:12:56.25
Amen I did know how much
is needed and I know how much
00:12:56.28\00:12:59.63
power there is in it and I
am able to pray for people.
00:12:59.66\00:13:03.15
Now my prayer list is
huge, but I thought it was going
00:13:03.18\00:13:06.63
to be a blessing
to somebody else,
00:13:06.67\00:13:08.23
but it has been a
huge blessing to me.
00:13:08.27\00:13:09.76
I have never spent so
much time on my knees.
00:13:09.80\00:13:12.03
I have never spent so
much time in the word.
00:13:12.07\00:13:14.27
My prayers are not
me focused anymore,
00:13:14.30\00:13:16.51
they are
focused on other people.
00:13:16.55\00:13:18.86
It has just
transformed my life to pray.
00:13:18.89\00:13:22.14
I wore one to the airport,
and I am not even thinking,
00:13:22.18\00:13:25.25
I just had it on my
jacket, May I Pray For You?
00:13:25.29\00:13:28.06
I am checking in and it
is an early, early flight,
00:13:28.09\00:13:31.39
so I am there at
5:30 in the morning,
00:13:31.43\00:13:33.40
6:00 in the
morning and the girl says,
00:13:33.44\00:13:36.10
what's that mean?
What's, what mean?
00:13:36.13\00:13:40.32
And I remember just saying
to her like come I couldn't
00:13:40.35\00:13:43.82
figure out what
she was talking about,
00:13:43.86\00:13:45.03
and she said
what does that mean?
00:13:45.07\00:13:46.84
And I looked down at the
jacket and I had the May I Pray
00:13:46.87\00:13:49.84
For You? And I thought it
was funny because I thought,
00:13:49.88\00:13:52.81
what is confusing about
this, do you know I mean?
00:13:52.85\00:13:56.30
It's a really simple statement.
00:13:56.34\00:13:58.34
So I said may I pray for you?
00:13:58.37\00:14:00.31
And she is like,
yeah what does that mean?
00:14:00.34\00:14:02.62
Well may I pray for you,
and she is like that's weird.
00:14:02.66\00:14:08.41
I remember her being stunned
by that, but I couldn't tell
00:14:08.45\00:14:14.17
whether even and I
felt like God said let her,
00:14:14.21\00:14:17.57
if she wanted prayer,
let her say the next thing.
00:14:17.60\00:14:20.90
It's like people to even
really offer prayer sometimes
00:14:20.93\00:14:25.53
is confusing to them.
00:14:25.56\00:14:27.20
It's like being able to bring
that back into people's lives.
00:14:27.23\00:14:32.45
Exactly, yesterday on my way
out here I had five different
00:14:32.48\00:14:37.20
people ask for prayer between
airport and renting a car.
00:14:37.23\00:14:41.69
One of the ladies, where I
rented the car said you can pray
00:14:41.72\00:14:46.14
for me, would you pray for
me? Would you pray for my son,
00:14:46.17\00:14:48.36
he is dabbling with drugs
and I am worried about him?
00:14:48.39\00:14:50.76
My name is such and such
and she showed me her name tag,
00:14:50.80\00:14:53.14
would you like me to
write it down for you?
00:14:53.17\00:14:55.61
She said I don't think
anybody has prayed for me since
00:14:55.65\00:14:58.24
I was a little girl, and
she just touched my heart.
00:14:58.28\00:15:01.40
We need more prayer, there
is so much power in prayer.
00:15:01.44\00:15:04.52
We need more
prayer in the world.
00:15:04.56\00:15:06.90
But so many people that you
believe in prayer, believe in
00:15:06.93\00:15:10.17
the power of prayer, like
even the medical are finding out
00:15:10.21\00:15:13.31
that people that don't know
they are prayed for have better
00:15:13.35\00:15:16.45
outcomes after surgery than
people who weren't prayed for
00:15:16.49\00:15:19.56
where neither person knows.
00:15:19.59\00:15:21.65
They are finding out, and even
our medical professionals are
00:15:21.68\00:15:25.76
starting to realize
the power in prayer.
00:15:25.80\00:15:27.75
More of our
physicians are praying now.
00:15:27.79\00:15:29.67
Isn't that amazing, but your
heart says somebody prayed for
00:15:29.71\00:15:33.03
me and it made a difference,
so I cannot let go of this.
00:15:33.06\00:15:36.23
Absolutely! I know that we
have some questions in a café so
00:15:36.27\00:15:39.40
I am going to
open up for questions.
00:15:39.43\00:15:41.43
I know that
Carolyn you had a question.
00:15:41.46\00:15:43.39
Yeah, I grew up in an Adventist
family I was always expected
00:15:43.43\00:15:52.33
to be the good kid, because
I am a former pastor's kid.
00:15:52.36\00:15:58.91
Once the pastor's
kid, always a pastor's kid,
00:15:58.94\00:16:01.55
but I have been depressed a lot
00:16:01.59\00:16:05.68
because of my life and I
have always wanted for a time to
00:16:05.72\00:16:10.07
commit suicide, because I
didn't think it was worth living
00:16:10.11\00:16:14.48
But then I started thinking
about it, I have a roof over my
00:16:14.51\00:16:18.85
head, I have
family that loves me.
00:16:18.88\00:16:20.61
I have a hope I just don't
feel like living because of a
00:16:20.65\00:16:26.52
certain situation, but
did you even have that?
00:16:26.55\00:16:30.12
Do you have a reason for living?
00:16:30.15\00:16:32.65
I have gotten myself into a
place, it breaks my heart to
00:16:32.68\00:16:35.99
hear you say that because
you do have a perfect life,
00:16:36.03\00:16:39.31
it looks like the perfect
life growing up and still
00:16:39.35\00:16:41.78
something is definitely missing.
00:16:41.82\00:16:43.64
Something was missing.
00:16:43.67\00:16:44.81
Coming from a different place,
I had gotten myself into a
00:16:44.85\00:16:48.42
place where guilt over the
things I have done was so bad,
00:16:48.45\00:16:52.64
which is probably different
than depression that you had
00:16:52.67\00:16:56.82
even though you have
the roof over your head,
00:16:56.85\00:16:58.66
like you said it, and
seemed to have everything.
00:16:58.69\00:17:00.43
A depression like that God can
make different through prayer.
00:17:00.46\00:17:05.55
God can make a purpose
in your life through prayer.
00:17:05.58\00:17:08.06
But it is different, I think
you have experienced going that
00:17:08.10\00:17:13.22
route isn't the same to me
as what I did by bringing things
00:17:13.25\00:17:18.34
on myself that made
me want to check out.
00:17:18.37\00:17:20.85
You didn't bring
things on yourself.
00:17:20.89\00:17:22.49
What is interesting with
Caroline, what you were talking
00:17:22.53\00:17:25.75
about, is because you and
I sat together and prayed the
00:17:25.78\00:17:28.96
other day through a
lot of this kind of stuff.
00:17:29.00\00:17:31.57
The assumption is that you
brought nothing on yourself,
00:17:31.61\00:17:35.20
right? That is the assumption.
00:17:35.23\00:17:37.85
What is interesting to me
is a lot of times we bring in
00:17:37.89\00:17:44.02
little things over
the years and we try to
00:17:44.06\00:17:47.88
handle them ourselves.
00:17:47.92\00:17:49.55
Like I fell like I had a callous
over my heart towards God
00:17:49.59\00:17:53.51
because I had grown up with
Him, I always knew He was there.
00:17:53.54\00:17:57.30
He was just like sitting there
right next to me and you can
00:17:57.34\00:18:01.06
feel Him at first and
then you get used to it.
00:18:01.09\00:18:05.14
I started not having
my morning devotions,
00:18:05.17\00:18:09.15
just because it was
more convenient to sleep in.
00:18:09.19\00:18:11.12
I started not praying to
God about every little detail
00:18:11.15\00:18:14.19
because He is there and
He knows what I am thinking.
00:18:14.22\00:18:17.19
I stopped trying to communicate
with Him and that is when
00:18:17.22\00:18:22.52
I felt completely empty.
00:18:22.56\00:18:25.06
Just recently I started
to give my heart back to Him.
00:18:25.10\00:18:29.82
I just felt so happy and
so full of life, even recently
00:18:29.85\00:18:34.89
I've lost one of my very
best friends, one through death,
00:18:34.93\00:18:39.93
and one through my mistakes.
00:18:39.97\00:18:42.79
I felt like I
should be really depressed,
00:18:42.82\00:18:49.63
but somehow
underneath all the stuff
00:18:49.66\00:18:53.90
I just felt relieved in a way.
00:18:53.94\00:18:57.66
Just to have God in
there, it is just amazing how
00:18:57.70\00:19:04.03
after feeling so down,
like you don't want to live.
00:19:04.07\00:19:08.48
I think the key is what
you just said is that you came
00:19:08.51\00:19:12.89
back to God and in AA and
NA there is a little saying,
00:19:12.92\00:19:17.00
fake it until you make it.
00:19:17.04\00:19:18.32
Fake it till you make it!
00:19:18.36\00:19:19.85
When I was out of touch with
00:19:19.88\00:19:21.17
God and I knew I had walked
00:19:21.21\00:19:22.43
away, multiple times I
had come to God and gone away.
00:19:22.47\00:19:25.69
I decided to fake it until
I make it and I started force
00:19:25.73\00:19:28.92
feeding myself
on the word of God.
00:19:28.95\00:19:30.65
I am going to pray even
though I don't feel like it.
00:19:30.69\00:19:32.69
I'm going to read the word
and if I think I need to spend
00:19:32.73\00:19:35.20
two hours in front of TV, then
I need to give equal time to
00:19:35.23\00:19:37.45
my Bible and that is the
only way I'm going to do it is
00:19:37.49\00:19:39.67
fake it till I make it.
00:19:39.71\00:19:40.87
I did just like what you
said you did I came back to God
00:19:40.91\00:19:43.92
and started spending that
time with God again and it makes
00:19:43.96\00:19:46.94
all the difference in
the world because you can
00:19:46.98\00:19:48.98
fake it till you make
it, I think sometimes.
00:19:49.02\00:19:50.95
It's interesting to me
is what Caroline was saying,
00:19:50.99\00:19:56.26
is that I have had this
relationship and started to back
00:19:56.30\00:20:01.85
away and do other
things and lose touch with this
00:20:01.89\00:20:05.67
relationship
that I had with God.
00:20:05.71\00:20:07.59
It is almost like you were
saying, with your drug addiction
00:20:07.62\00:20:10.62
it was a slow journey to
were all of a sudden you were
00:20:10.65\00:20:16.56
standing there
going how did this happen?
00:20:16.60\00:20:19.09
I am here, by myself,
alone and depressed and
00:20:19.13\00:20:21.59
just want to take myself out.
00:20:21.63\00:20:22.91
So whether it is done with
drugs, or is done without drugs,
00:20:22.95\00:20:26.98
is we can all end up in a place
where we have nothing left,
00:20:27.01\00:20:31.01
no real connections
with anybody and we just want
00:20:31.04\00:20:33.94
to take ourselves out.
00:20:33.97\00:20:35.06
With Caroline we are going
to go on to another question,
00:20:35.09\00:20:39.43
but with Caroline as your
friend I loved hanging out and
00:20:39.47\00:20:43.80
just allowing you to spend
time and talk about that and
00:20:43.84\00:20:48.10
reconnect with not only God,
but with the people around you.
00:20:48.13\00:20:51.72
Which is amazing.
00:20:51.76\00:20:52.79
I know that Roma
you had a question.
00:20:52.82\00:20:55.20
Right I was thinking
about, it just triggered in me
00:20:55.24\00:20:58.80
when you were saying,
fake it till you make it.
00:20:58.83\00:21:02.36
I recently read a
book about blessings.
00:21:02.39\00:21:04.80
In scripture God does talk
to us about blessing people.
00:21:04.84\00:21:09.45
There is someone in my
life who has authority over me,
00:21:09.49\00:21:14.86
in my work setting, this
person and I are not very close.
00:21:14.89\00:21:20.22
I like how very
nicely you said that.
00:21:20.26\00:21:23.03
So when something
happened and I said,
00:21:23.07\00:21:25.36
alright you
need to pray for her.
00:21:25.39\00:21:27.62
So what I did, alright God,
I know I am supposed to pray
00:21:27.65\00:21:32.09
for her, she is my
enemy, if I could use that word
00:21:32.13\00:21:35.14
for this situation.
00:21:35.17\00:21:37.14
She is my enemy but You know
that I don't really mean this
00:21:37.18\00:21:40.90
right now, so I faked it, but
I was honest with Him because
00:21:40.94\00:21:44.62
He knew anyway
what I was thinking.
00:21:44.66\00:21:46.44
Sure enough, I do not know
if there was a change in her,
00:21:46.47\00:21:50.15
but there was a change in me.
00:21:50.19\00:21:51.90
I am no longer hard on
this person and she doesn't make
00:21:51.94\00:21:56.72
me as upset as she used to.
00:21:56.76\00:21:58.10
I have to think that
was an answer from God and
00:21:58.14\00:22:00.93
He changed my heart.
00:22:00.96\00:22:02.54
He may have changed
hers too, I don't know,
00:22:02.58\00:22:04.26
but He changed me.
00:22:04.30\00:22:05.68
He definitely changed
you, which is amazing.
00:22:05.71\00:22:07.96
I think that is one of
the promises and prayer to is
00:22:08.00\00:22:11.86
that prayer is a
dialogue with God.
00:22:11.90\00:22:14.87
I am stopping for a moment
and saying God and going back
00:22:14.90\00:22:19.46
and forth with whatever, whether
I am asking for forgiveness,
00:22:19.50\00:22:22.49
or somebody at work to be
blessed, to get over depression,
00:22:22.53\00:22:25.49
or drug addiction, or
suicide or any of that stuff.
00:22:25.53\00:22:28.99
I am actually taking this to
God and being changed in this
00:22:29.02\00:22:33.22
relationship, and prayer
sometime gets this whole magical
00:22:33.26\00:22:37.42
thing but it is
just a dialogue with God.
00:22:37.46\00:22:40.03
Because God is God, the
Creator of heaven and earth,
00:22:40.06\00:22:44.61
He has got angels He can send
down, He's got the Holy Spirit
00:22:44.65\00:22:47.83
He can send down, He can put
His creativity hand on something
00:22:47.86\00:22:51.01
and we are here
saying go for it.
00:22:51.05\00:22:53.63
Please bless us, put Your
hand on us and those things.
00:22:53.67\00:22:58.69
We become changed in that.
00:22:58.72\00:23:01.09
He does, and it doesn't
matter where we come from,
00:23:01.13\00:23:03.69
I found this out later on,
00:23:03.73\00:23:05.05
it doesn't matter
where we come from.
00:23:05.09\00:23:06.24
2 Corinthians 12:9 says, God
said to me My grace is enough.
00:23:06.27\00:23:11.12
It is sufficient,
it is enough for you.
00:23:11.16\00:23:12.84
"My strength is made perfect
in weakness," and I have seen
00:23:12.87\00:23:16.29
that in my life and then He
said, "most gladly I will glory
00:23:16.33\00:23:19.31
in My infirmities that the power
of Christ may rest upon me. "
00:23:19.35\00:23:22.30
I would not have
experienced the power of God,
00:23:22.33\00:23:25.44
the power of Christ, if
it wasn't for my weaknesses.
00:23:25.48\00:23:28.07
So explain to somebody
that doesn't even know,
00:23:28.10\00:23:30.47
has not been in the
Bible, has not been in church,
00:23:30.50\00:23:32.83
what does infirmities mean?
00:23:32.86\00:23:34.49
Oh, weaknesses, drug
addiction, lying, sexual sins,
00:23:34.53\00:23:40.08
all of that, anything
that takes us away from what we
00:23:40.11\00:23:45.63
perceive as acceptable.
00:23:45.66\00:23:47.62
That is different for
everybody, depending on where we
00:23:47.65\00:23:50.60
grew up, alcohol wasn't
bad in home I grew up in.
00:23:50.63\00:23:53.71
Alcohol was normal in our
family, but we all have things
00:23:53.75\00:23:56.77
and with my husband
his biggest thing was meat.
00:23:56.81\00:23:59.85
To him that was a heinous crime.
00:23:59.88\00:24:01.48
We all have things that
keep us from feeling like we are
00:24:01.52\00:24:07.18
whole I believe, or
feeling like we are normal,
00:24:07.22\00:24:10.88
or like we are doing
the right thing where
00:24:10.91\00:24:12.78
we could live in our own skin.
00:24:12.82\00:24:13.90
Things that we become
uncomfortable with doing,
00:24:13.94\00:24:16.37
that we feel
like we shouldn't do.
00:24:16.40\00:24:17.92
God says in our relationship
that once graced has
00:24:17.96\00:24:21.15
covered you, you will actually
say those things push me
00:24:21.19\00:24:25.43
closer to God, push me in a
relationship, push me to prayer.
00:24:25.47\00:24:28.78
When Roma was talking
about having a conflict with her
00:24:28.82\00:24:32.41
coworker, she knows I do not
want to walk around angry all
00:24:32.45\00:24:36.01
the time so it pushes me
to God, saying God please.
00:24:36.05\00:24:39.01
First of all please
change her, and then pretty soon
00:24:39.05\00:24:41.98
it's bless her and change me.
00:24:42.01\00:24:43.96
That's where His power
can work in our weaknesses.
00:24:44.00\00:24:47.18
Whether it is with me being
a drug addict, or any other
00:24:47.22\00:24:51.24
person with anger, we all
have something that would be
00:24:51.28\00:24:54.31
that word infirmities, I
would like to see it in another
00:24:54.34\00:24:58.84
translation, but glory, most
gladly glory in my infirmities.
00:24:58.88\00:25:02.78
King James is kind of hard
sometimes, but it is okay that
00:25:02.82\00:25:06.10
I have weaknesses because that
is where God's power can shine
00:25:06.14\00:25:09.38
in my life, because I
have been through these things,
00:25:09.42\00:25:11.85
and because I've been through
them I can relate to somebody
00:25:11.88\00:25:14.23
who has been through drug
addiction, or somebody who is
00:25:14.26\00:25:17.10
struggling now, I can pray
for somebody knowing that there
00:25:17.13\00:25:19.93
is another side,
there is a way out.
00:25:19.96\00:25:22.01
Can't you even see them now,
it is almost like see somebody
00:25:22.05\00:25:24.99
it needs prayer and you say,
you want to say even without
00:25:25.02\00:25:27.92
the button, can I pray for you?
00:25:27.96\00:25:30.12
Because I know what God can
do because He did it for me.
00:25:30.15\00:25:33.93
I know that He can, I
have seen Him do it in my life,
00:25:33.97\00:25:37.68
and I and seeing Him doing
it in other people's lives now.
00:25:37.71\00:25:41.13
He is allowing me to
pray for other people,
00:25:41.17\00:25:43.00
and it can be different.
00:25:43.03\00:25:44.56
There is another side, there
is life after drug addiction.
00:25:44.60\00:25:46.59
You and I both know that. Right!
00:25:46.62\00:25:48.38
Even though mine was socially
acceptable with high dollar
00:25:48.41\00:25:51.42
clientele, whether it is
somebody on the street, whether
00:25:51.45\00:25:54.96
it is like you said sexual
addiction, gambling, pornography
00:25:54.99\00:25:58.70
what ever it might be that
we struggle with, we all know
00:25:58.74\00:26:02.41
somebody that is struggling.
00:26:02.45\00:26:03.83
We are all praying for
somebody that is struggling.
00:26:03.87\00:26:06.06
You just cannot ever quit
praying, you cannot quit praying
00:26:06.10\00:26:09.30
ever for the person.
00:26:09.34\00:26:10.85
Maybe it is your spouse,
maybe it is your sibling, may be
00:26:10.88\00:26:14.64
it is you that is
struggling, God knows.
00:26:14.67\00:26:17.99
But God can do miracles.
00:26:18.02\00:26:20.10
When you say maybe it is you,
there is a part of me that says
00:26:20.14\00:26:24.23
don't be afraid to say to
somebody, will you remember me
00:26:24.26\00:26:27.19
in prayer? Absolutely!
00:26:27.22\00:26:28.45
That is a huge thing because
we don't even want to admit
00:26:28.48\00:26:31.59
that we have issues, like I
do not want to tell somebody
00:26:31.62\00:26:35.55
that I am feeling so desperate
today, would you pray for me?
00:26:35.59\00:26:39.49
But admit that, because
we don't have, Solomon said,
00:26:39.52\00:26:42.97
everything that you have
experienced someone else has
00:26:43.01\00:26:46.43
experienced, there is
nothing new under the sun.
00:26:46.46\00:26:48.52
So be transparent, open up
to each other, edify, affirm,
00:26:48.56\00:26:52.81
lift each other up and
be supportive of each other.
00:26:52.84\00:26:55.71
The way we do that
usually is through prayer.
00:26:55.74\00:26:58.65
It's huge! Absolutely it is!
00:26:58.69\00:27:01.51
We can, not only pray for
each other, the Bible does tell
00:27:01.55\00:27:05.46
us to lift each other up,
but been accountable, and being
00:27:05.49\00:27:08.94
transparent, being honest
like you just said, be honest
00:27:08.97\00:27:12.61
about I'm feeling down
today, I'm struggling today with
00:27:12.64\00:27:16.24
something, and we
do have our struggles.
00:27:16.27\00:27:17.97
I had this Ebenezer box,
this little wooden box and I
00:27:18.00\00:27:21.48
glued a rock on top
as the Ebenezer stone.
00:27:21.51\00:27:24.35
I put 1 Samuel 12 on
it and glued it on top.
00:27:24.39\00:27:27.67
It says here is
where the Lord helped us.
00:27:27.71\00:27:30.93
I write down these things
that I know God did in my life.
00:27:30.96\00:27:33.36
Big things, my Ebenezer's,
not like I lost my watch and
00:27:33.40\00:27:35.73
found it five minutes later,
but the big things where I
00:27:35.76\00:27:38.07
know God was there ahead
of me and I know He did these
00:27:38.10\00:27:40.44
things and I write them on
a slip of paper and put them
00:27:40.48\00:27:42.66
in that box and when I get
in those dark times where I'm
00:27:42.69\00:27:45.24
struggling, I do feel like I
am not getting through to God.
00:27:45.27\00:27:47.98
I can open that box and have
a whole pile of evidence that
00:27:48.02\00:27:50.69
He always gets me through.
00:27:50.73\00:27:52.14
He has gotten me through
everything I have ever faced.
00:27:52.18\00:27:54.89
He already knows the outcome
and His plans in His hands.
00:27:54.93\00:27:57.26
He has already worked it
out ahead of time and I can look
00:27:57.30\00:28:00.03
back at all the evidence
and it gives me so much hope,
00:28:00.07\00:28:02.77
and so much encouragement.
00:28:02.80\00:28:04.63
Even though I feel like I
can not get through today,
00:28:04.67\00:28:07.87
that is not the truth, the
truth is that He will get me
00:28:07.90\00:28:11.07
through today.
00:28:11.10\00:28:12.32
And He always has
before every time.
00:28:12.35\00:28:14.87
That is amazing.
00:28:14.91\00:28:16.09
I have to keep those things
before me because I still do
00:28:16.12\00:28:18.89
have dark days, I still
have days that I struggle with
00:28:18.93\00:28:22.29
things that I do not
want to have in my life again.
00:28:22.33\00:28:25.66
Places that I do not
want to go back to Egypt,
00:28:25.70\00:28:27.15
God brought me out of
the land of Egypt, out of the
00:28:27.18\00:28:29.96
house of bondage, I have been
wandering in the wilderness for
00:28:30.00\00:28:32.43
a long time, but now I am
on my way to the promised land.
00:28:32.47\00:28:35.19
I know where I am going, but
I still have to look sometimes
00:28:35.23\00:28:37.93
when I am headed back to Egypt
to get that box out and see
00:28:37.97\00:28:40.64
these are my Ebenezer's,
my Ebenezer steppingstones.
00:28:40.68\00:28:45.01
These are my promises, this is
where my journey is taking me.
00:28:45.05\00:28:47.90
Yes and this is
what God has done for me.
00:28:47.94\00:28:51.14
I want to thank
you for joining us.
00:28:51.17\00:28:53.52
I want to thank you for
being on the program Gerri
00:28:53.56\00:28:56.66
and I want to say that I
will remember you in prayer.
00:28:56.69\00:28:59.75
Thank you and I will
pray for your Ministry too.
00:28:59.79\00:29:02.69
What you do for the
people and the lives you touch
00:29:02.73\00:29:05.57
and the lives of the people
that God still plans to put
00:29:05.60\00:29:07.93
in your path and
be touched by you.
00:29:07.96\00:29:09.81
God can start working
on their hearts today.
00:29:09.85\00:29:11.79
Thanks for joining
us. Thanks for having me.
00:29:11.82\00:29:13.85
We are going to go
ahead and take a break.
00:29:13.88\00:29:15.84
I want you to stay with us
because we want to summarize
00:29:15.87\00:29:20.97
this whole thing.
00:29:21.00\00:29:22.22
We will be right back!
00:29:22.26\00:29:23.23