Welcome Back!
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I'm going to start out with
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one of my favorite texts
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I say this all the time
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because I think they really are
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all my favorite texts.
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I want to start out with
Proverbs 3:5 and for anybody
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that is
recovering from anything.
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If you have any hang-ups, any
junk that is just causing you
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pain, any habit that you have,
this is a good text for you.
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It says in Proverbs 3:5,
"trust in the Lord with all your
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heart," well that makes sense.
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Trust God,
turned it over to Him.
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Let Him do it.
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"Lean not unto your own
understanding," because your own
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understanding got you
exactly where you are at.
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I could go visit people in
jail and they will be all strung
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out in jail facing whatever
there is their prison term is.
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They'll say you know what Cheri
I am fine, and I look around
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and thinking find
does not look like that.
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I even work with people that
have their liver shutting down
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and all that stuff, and
they say you know what I have no
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problems, I'm doing okay.
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I'm thinking okay
doesn't look like that.
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So this one says, "lean not
on your own understanding and
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in all your ways
acknowledge him," which is God,
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"and he will
direct your paths. "
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He will take your
foot and put your foot one
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in front of the other.
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For addicts we're in
rebellion and think do
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I want someone to do that?
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Do I want someone to put
one foot in front of the other?
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Do I want someone
to say when to stand up
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and went to sit down?
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Yes, absolutely, and I
am not even saying that,
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if it was for somebody that
didn't taking care about you,
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if it was someone that
didn't delight in your recovery,
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if it was somebody that didn't,
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every single thing
about God is for us.
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Every single thing
about His love is for us.
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He wants us to laugh out
loud and understand who we are.
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Every single gift
and talent we have,
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He says let Me
unfold that for you.
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I was a heroine addict, strung
out and illiterate and now I
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travel the world, and I love
life, and I have a family that
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is amazing and it is all
because God was so for me.
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He said let me direct your
path, don't be afraid of that.
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7 says, Proverbs 3:7 says, "do
not be wise in your own eyes,"
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and I am talking to you!
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Somebody out there, you
know who I'm talking to.
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Do not think that
you can figure it out.
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I got every book on the planet.
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I got all that kind of
stuff and I could not get it.
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"Do not be wise in
your own eyes, fear the Lord
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and depart from evil".
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If you question what is
evil, What do you mean by that,
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ask God and then shut
up and let Him tell you.
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I used to think evil was
somebody doing a Ouija board,
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or terra cards, and God
said no Cheri it's your lying.
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I'm like, what!
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So ask Him in your own
life what does evil look like.
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It may be a few have a
religious addiction, or your
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perfectionism, or your
critical spirit, your evil may
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look different than a
heroine addict's evil.
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A heroine addict's evil
may be a needle, a syringe,
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maybe the fact that he
steals and plays people,
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but everybody looks different.
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So go and ask God, what does
it mean to depart from evil?
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Don't be wise in your own
eyes and stay way from evil.
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8 says, and this is cool,
"it will be health to your
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flesh and
strength to your bones. "
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If you get this it I
literally will build you up.
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There is another place and
Isaiah 58 which is probably
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my favorite text, I know I
always say that but Isaiah 58
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says you will be
like a watered garden.
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Everything about you
will bring health to people,
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Heath to your own bones but
when somebody sits next to you
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it will be like sitting next
to someone in a watered garden,
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with flowers blooming,
air fresh and all that stuff
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and I so want that.
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God is saying, give it to
Me, turn it over to Me and
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I will change everything.
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He will change
everything in a way you just say
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how cool are you!
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How cool are you?
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I want to introduce you to
some friends of mine Dwight
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and Deb, I want to say thank
you for being on our program.
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But before you say a word
I want to say to the audience
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some people have seen you
before on 3ABN in a different
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capacity with your Ministry
a few times, a billion times
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and I was a little bit
afraid of having you on the
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program for that very reason.
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If people know you I
want them to let that go,
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I want you to just
come out in your testimony.
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How did you find God?
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What was your
walk like initially?
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When did you decide
to turn it over and let
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Him actually direct your steps?
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When did you
fall in love with Him?
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We are going to
talk about that stuff.
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That's great a lot of
people that have seen me,
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they just think when they
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see somebody that has already
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been converted and
that is all they see,
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they can't see
anything else, but for me
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it is very real and I
have never forgotten that.
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For me a started when I
was just a child because
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I wanted to do what was right.
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I grew up in a nice Christian
home, a good Christian home.
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Your parents loved you
through all that stuff?
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Yeah they loved me, it
was a very loving family and
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my dad was very strict.
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When he said jump I
asked how high and I'm serious,
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I'm not kidding.
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As I went to church I
learned the neat stories of
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baby Moses, Daniel in the
lion's den, David and Goliath,
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and I loved that.
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What cracks me up when you
say that, the first thing I
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remember learning how the
first song, it was a song about
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a guy looking
for a cigarette butt,
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because my dad was a bartender.
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So not all kids get that,
but you are saying you got that.
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I got that and I think a
lot of people of think when you
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do get that is like an automatic
shoo into Christianity.
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It is not, because a lot of
hurting people out there that
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should know God and grew
up going into churches but
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they're hurting big-time.
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They are hurting as much as
the drug addicts are hurting
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out there, because
they don't have God either.
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To me I don't care what you're
doing, if you don't have God,
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you don't have God.
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You are saying that
you saw some of that?
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I saw some of that and
the sad part about it is they
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didn't mean it they thought they
were safe, perceptions reality
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I could see they weren't.
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I decided at a young age
that I did want to play church.
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I figured that if I was going
to do something it was going
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to be real and God
already knew about it so
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I was very honest
and I left the church.
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I left the
church as I got older.
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Your parents were
sending you to church school and
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all that kind of stuff?
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They did all that stuff, in
fact Cheri the first Academy
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I went to was called a
church academy and I went there.
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I did not want to go
there, I went to public school
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all my life and it was the
first time, I was a Seventh-day
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Adventist and we couldn't
play the games on Saturday.
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We couldn't go to birthday
parties and so I grew up
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thinking what's
wrong with all this?
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Why you can't do this you have
to do that to be a Christian.
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So when I went to Academy,
they made me go and my mother
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said Dwight, give
it three months and
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if you don't like it
you can come back home.
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I thought for sure I
was coming home because I
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want to play football and
I can play on Thursday nights
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for the first time in
my life, I love sports.
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I was in the dorm and I
got to be friends with the kids
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there, but my junior year,
after going for three years,
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I ended up getting
kicked out of Academy.
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If you can imagine.
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How did you did get
kicked out of Academy?
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Well people can get kicked
out doing different things,
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but for me it was smoking
pot, I learned to smoke pot,
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I learned to drink, and I
learned to swear at Academy.
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What is really interesting
is that a lot of times when
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we think that somebody is going
to church, going to Academy,
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going to Christian school,
that none of that is there.
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That's right!
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That's not, it may be a safer
environment, but unless people
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are real enough to look
at the issues it's all there.
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You know I think to be
honest, people might disagree,
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I think it is an unsafe
environment many times because
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we are supposed to be better.
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So we are playing this churchy
game that we are Christians
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and we are going to
a church academy and
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my kids are going to grow up.
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Many young people
that have gone to Academy,
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church academy's, are no
longer in the church. Period!
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So it wasn't safe
for me I will tell you.
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Let me tell you how I
start out a presentation
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at a church school.
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And people hate
this, I'm surprised that
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I don't get fired sometimes.
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I'll go in, my name is
Cheri from 3ABN and pretty soon
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you hear groans from the
kids come because they think
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that is too
conservative, too churchy.
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I say raise your hand
if you're smoking weed yet,
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or having sex with each other,
or if you doing any of that
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kind of stuff
because I just need to know
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who I am talking to.
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They are like, I am so not
raising my hand and pretty soon
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they are giggling
and I said okay so
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we know who each other is.
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We are going to be
talking about all that stuff.
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Raise your hand
if you are cutting.
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Raise your hand
if you are suicidal.
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Raise your hand if you
are dealing with rage issues.
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Raise your hand if
your parents are divorced.
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I mean all that stuff that
people pretends does not happen.
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Let's talk about that because
I know there are kids like
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you that are hurting and
are hurting in the building.
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I think a lot of times
kids, like your going in which
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really to me is great and
honorable because they want
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to relate themselves,
something isn't working.
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So here I am running around
with all these kids and is not
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working for them, most of them,
and it is not working for me.
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You're smoking
weed your drinking?
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I'm drinking, smoking
weed and get kicked out.
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I had gone back to public
school, but some my friends
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got kicked out with me,
they went to another academy.
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So I begged my mother and
father, please just let me go.
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I will be good this time
and so they finally let me go at
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the beginning of the semester
and it wasn't but 9 weeks
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and I was kicked
out that academy also.
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Same reasons?
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Taking drugs that time, I
wasn't smoking pot I was taking
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drugs and at that point in
time, I will never forget this
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and I thank God for
mothers that care for you
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because I ran away.
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I packed some
stuff in my suit case.
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There was this town student,
that means he was from town,
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that he went to school in
the dorm and I opened the window
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up because they were
going to take me to the hospital
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just take a
urine sample from me.
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I didn't want to do that.
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So I said listen can you
get me out of this place?
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He said yeah man come
on down, so I ran out the
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fire escape and I took off.
00:10:09.53\00:10:11.05
I thought I
better let my mom know.
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Back then they had to pay
phones, it was a little town,
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I got on the pay phone and
said mom, I'm not coming home.
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She was just crying and she
would not let me off that phone,
00:10:17.83\00:10:20.61
she said Dwight I love
you, we all make mistakes.
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I said that I had made too
many, I have already gotten
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kicked out twice,
I have failed you,
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and I am never
coming home again.
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But she would not let me
of that phone and I went home,
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but I did make one promise, I
am not playing church anymore.
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That is about the time I
start going away from church and
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getting out and started
drinking, ended up going into
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the service because again I
think we all want to be special.
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I believe that is true to
any young person, or even as we
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get older we
want to be somebody.
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I still wanted to be somebody.
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So we're talking
about you right now,
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you wanted to be somebody?
I wanted to be somebody.
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You wanted to be special?
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I didn't want to be a failure,
I wanted to be somebody and
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so I thought I was working
for my dad in construction and
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one-day about noon it was
raining and I went into town and
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went by this army
recruit office sitting inside.
00:11:01.80\00:11:05.08
So I went in there and I wasn't
about to join the service,
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that was stupid,
but I went in there.
00:11:07.91\00:11:09.86
He said what would you
like to do in your life?
00:11:09.90\00:11:11.49
Well I'm thinking I don't
want to go to school but if he
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could get me a
job over in Hawaii...
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That would be so
good! Wouldn't it?
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I'm 17 years old, if I go
to Hawaii I can learn to surf,
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I can be on those
nice beautiful beaches,
00:11:26.98\00:11:28.97
with all these nice young women,
00:11:29.00\00:11:30.14
get weed, get pot,
and be a truck driver.
00:11:30.18\00:11:32.81
He said if I can get you to
be a truck driver in Hawaii,
00:11:32.85\00:11:36.20
would you join?
00:11:36.24\00:11:37.21
I said absolutely,
and you know what he did.
00:11:37.22\00:11:40.05
He said all you have to
do now is take a physical,
00:11:40.09\00:11:42.96
and I went to
Detroit, being in Michigan.
00:11:43.00\00:11:45.11
I took a physical exam and
a written test and when I got
00:11:45.15\00:11:48.96
done there was this mean looking
guy that came out in this
00:11:49.00\00:11:52.78
uniform and he had a beret on.
00:11:52.82\00:11:55.56
He came out and
said, Hall, come in here.
00:11:55.59\00:11:58.95
So I walked in the office and
thought I obviously was getting
00:11:58.98\00:12:03.77
in trouble and
wondered what I did wrong now?
00:12:03.80\00:12:05.22
He said you know what, you
passed not only your physical,
00:12:05.25\00:12:07.85
but you passed your
written test with flying colors.
00:12:07.89\00:12:09.81
Of course that
made me happy because
00:12:09.85\00:12:11.43
I hardly graduated from school.
00:12:11.47\00:12:12.96
He says we have a few
jobs for some special people,
00:12:12.99\00:12:16.48
would you like to join?
00:12:16.52\00:12:17.70
He said I will tell you
it is going to be tough,
00:12:17.74\00:12:19.09
but when we get done with
you you'll no longer be skinny,
00:12:19.12\00:12:22.11
you will be lean and mean.
00:12:22.15\00:12:23.17
Of course there was that
special thing, and I wanted to
00:12:23.21\00:12:25.43
be special so I
joined the Airborne Rangers.
00:12:25.46\00:12:27.98
No kidding!
00:12:28.01\00:12:29.53
I lost my truck driving
job in Hawaii, no surfboards,
00:12:29.57\00:12:32.05
the training was tough,
but again it was because
00:12:32.09\00:12:34.85
I wanted to be somebody.
00:12:34.88\00:12:36.13
Exactly, and that is an elite
group where you are built up.
00:12:36.16\00:12:42.22
Yeah but training is tough
they teach you how to kill,
00:12:42.25\00:12:44.80
I mean you are
the first to battle.
00:12:44.83\00:12:46.42
In fact when I got back
from the physical in Detroit,
00:12:46.46\00:12:50.40
I went into the Army
recruiting station office,
00:12:50.44\00:12:52.87
I don't remember the guys
name, he said did you pass?
00:12:52.91\00:12:55.05
I said yeah I passed,
everything turned out great,
00:12:55.08\00:12:57.19
but one problem.
00:12:57.22\00:12:58.35
He said what he is that?
00:12:58.38\00:12:59.74
I'm not going to go to Hawaii,
00:12:59.78\00:13:01.46
I am not going to
be a truck driver.
00:13:01.50\00:13:02.61
He said what do you
mean, what did you do?
00:13:02.65\00:13:04.57
I said I
changed where I'm going.
00:13:04.60\00:13:06.78
He said, like what?
00:13:06.81\00:13:08.09
I said I'm going to
be an Airborne Ranger,
00:13:08.12\00:13:10.01
I'm going to live the life
of danger, I was so excited.
00:13:10.05\00:13:12.85
He said you've
got to be kidding me?
00:13:12.89\00:13:15.08
I said why? He said
let me show you a film!
00:13:15.12\00:13:17.57
I said fine and he
punched in the film.
00:13:17.60\00:13:19.98
I was watching it, and
it mentioned in battle the
00:13:20.01\00:13:24.20
Rangers had about an 11
minute life span on the average,
00:13:24.23\00:13:26.04
and I thought I'm not
going to die, this is neat.
00:13:26.07\00:13:29.07
So when he got all done, we
had jumped out of airplanes,
00:13:29.11\00:13:30.93
and he showed all the
stuff and when he got then
00:13:30.97\00:13:33.08
he said what do
you think about that?
00:13:33.11\00:13:34.31
I said man I can't wait.
00:13:34.34\00:13:35.61
I was excited because...
00:13:35.65\00:13:36.84
you were on the edge anyway
and you wanted to be special
00:13:36.88\00:13:39.80
and all that stuff.
00:13:39.83\00:13:40.99
That's right, I
wanted to be special.
00:13:41.02\00:13:42.21
I wasn't thinking about
anything to do with God,
00:13:42.25\00:13:45.40
I just wanted to be
special, I didn't want to be a
00:13:45.44\00:13:48.55
failure the rest of my life.
00:13:48.59\00:13:50.01
So I got into the service
and really started drinking.
00:13:50.05\00:13:53.24
Isn't that
interesting, with the religion,
00:13:53.28\00:13:55.77
that when you looked around
and it looked like everybody was
00:13:55.81\00:13:58.72
failures, you are
not happy in your life,
00:13:58.76\00:14:00.41
you believe this 100% but it
hasn't reflected on anything.
00:14:00.44\00:14:03.97
So that wasn't a
draw to you, but this was?
00:14:04.00\00:14:06.17
This was because
it seemed real, I mean
00:14:06.20\00:14:08.04
I am going to do
something that's real.
00:14:08.08\00:14:09.85
I'm going to do something
that is truly successful.
00:14:09.88\00:14:12.05
I do not care how hard it is.
00:14:12.09\00:14:13.72
You know to be successful
Cheri, especially young people,
00:14:13.76\00:14:16.82
it doesn't
matter how hard it is.
00:14:16.85\00:14:18.57
It has to be
real! It has to be real.
00:14:18.61\00:14:20.26
That was the thing with me
is that it had to be real and
00:14:20.30\00:14:22.99
I didn't care what kind of
training it was, I didn't care
00:14:23.03\00:14:26.33
what I had to do, all I
wanted to do was be successful.
00:14:26.36\00:14:29.63
I did not want to
play and be superficial for
00:14:29.67\00:14:32.89
the rest of my life.
00:14:32.92\00:14:33.89
So this was right on the
edge, you were training hard,
00:14:33.90\00:14:36.99
you were drinking hard, hanging
out with people that were
00:14:37.02\00:14:40.10
doing the same
thing you are doing?
00:14:40.13\00:14:41.39
Exact same thing, but even
then I knew I needed a Savior.
00:14:41.42\00:14:45.63
I did not know it in those
words but I knew I wasn't happy,
00:14:45.67\00:14:49.28
I knew things were so missing
in my life, and I remember one
00:14:49.32\00:14:52.89
night from the service
I came home dead drunk.
00:14:52.93\00:14:55.53
I remember because you always
bunk with somebody and that
00:14:55.56\00:14:59.52
person wasn't there, I went in
my room, I got on my knees and
00:14:59.55\00:15:03.67
I remember folding my hands
on the bunk bed there and just
00:15:03.71\00:15:07.79
said Lord I am a mess.
00:15:07.83\00:15:09.72
I know that there
is a God out there,
00:15:09.75\00:15:11.37
but I don't know what to do.
00:15:11.40\00:15:13.66
I mean I might be lean and
mean, but successful, everything
00:15:13.70\00:15:17.50
that I thought was successful
it wasn't working so that night
00:15:17.53\00:15:21.30
when I was down on my
knees I was just saying Lord,
00:15:21.34\00:15:23.98
I need your help.
00:15:24.02\00:15:25.94
You know we start bargaining
with God, isn't that amazing?
00:15:25.98\00:15:28.81
Here I am bargaining with the
Lord if you will do three things
00:15:28.84\00:15:31.64
for me, I'll
change my life around.
00:15:31.67\00:15:33.61
So my first,- three
things - three things.
00:15:33.65\00:15:36.88
It wasn't 10 or 15 just 3.
00:15:36.91\00:15:38.31
The first one was I said I
want to a nice young woman,
00:15:38.34\00:15:41.56
somebody that would be a
Christian that would help me out
00:15:41.59\00:15:44.77
Of course I have to say.
00:15:44.81\00:15:46.22
Let's think of God first,
first of all I want to woman,
00:15:46.25\00:15:49.14
I want, that cracks me up.
00:15:49.17\00:15:51.66
But that's what I felt was
the truth so I do have to cut
00:15:51.69\00:15:56.33
in here right
now, that was with Deb,
00:15:56.36\00:15:58.23
and the Lord brought me
to Deb on that situation.
00:15:58.27\00:16:02.11
Shortly after that?
00:16:02.15\00:16:03.67
Well after I got
out of the service.
00:16:03.71\00:16:05.26
So it was probably a
year or so after that,
00:16:05.30\00:16:07.72
that was the first prayer.
00:16:07.75\00:16:08.81
So after that I said Lord I
want to learn to walk with You,
00:16:08.85\00:16:12.69
I have heard all the stories
about Enoch walking with God,
00:16:12.73\00:16:16.54
and hear Moses is in
the wilderness and he learns
00:16:16.58\00:16:18.85
to hear His voice.
00:16:18.89\00:16:20.16
Lord I don't hear Your
voice, I believe You are there
00:16:20.20\00:16:24.01
but I just don't hear
it so the second one was
00:16:24.04\00:16:26.36
I want to hear God's voice.
00:16:26.40\00:16:28.39
I want to be a real Christian,
00:16:28.43\00:16:30.06
I just didn't
know what that was.
00:16:30.09\00:16:31.66
The third thing was, I want
to get out the service early.
00:16:31.69\00:16:35.07
I had had enough of it.
00:16:35.11\00:16:36.27
I was finding people that
were superficial in there now,
00:16:36.30\00:16:39.50
and it seemed like
everywhere I was going,
00:16:39.53\00:16:41.37
people were not real.
00:16:41.41\00:16:43.08
I love the way you said that
because there is lot of people,
00:16:43.12\00:16:45.59
I am from the world.
00:16:45.63\00:16:48.71
You know you want to say
that in the Christian sense,
00:16:48.75\00:16:51.35
I didn't have any religious
restrictions or any of that
00:16:51.38\00:16:53.94
kind of stuff.
00:16:53.98\00:16:54.95
Some body that have religious
restrictions say you know what I
00:16:54.96\00:16:57.47
think they're more real
out there I'm thinking who lied
00:16:57.51\00:16:59.95
to you I think people are people
are people and until we really
00:16:59.99\00:17:04.64
engage in life we are
going to be superficial.
00:17:04.68\00:17:07.83
It really takes a
commitment to say you know what,
00:17:07.87\00:17:10.72
I actually want to be
engaged with people around me,
00:17:10.76\00:17:13.58
and my spirituality with God.
00:17:13.61\00:17:15.69
I think that is right and I
think so many people that are
00:17:15.72\00:17:20.02
watching the show,
if they can realize it,
00:17:20.06\00:17:22.38
God only made one of you.
00:17:22.41\00:17:24.19
He did not make a
thousand, He made one,
00:17:24.22\00:17:27.26
and you need to be
who you are in the Lord.
00:17:27.29\00:17:30.26
Don't try to be like
everyone else because I think we
00:17:30.29\00:17:32.45
get all messed up trying to
be somebody that we are not.
00:17:32.48\00:17:34.98
Have you ever heard
people say, I wish I was taller?
00:17:35.01\00:17:37.47
I wish I was shorter?
00:17:37.50\00:17:39.16
I wish I was skinnier?
00:17:39.20\00:17:40.79
I wish I had blue
eyes instead of brown eyes?
00:17:40.82\00:17:42.58
I wish I had black
hair instead of blonde hair.
00:17:42.61\00:17:44.34
We all want to be something
00:17:44.37\00:17:45.66
we are not, and once we
00:17:45.69\00:17:46.90
realize that God made me,
00:17:46.94\00:17:48.75
who He wanted me to be and we
00:17:48.79\00:17:50.53
trust in Him things start
rolling off our shoulders.
00:17:50.57\00:17:53.68
Then we turn it over
to Him and that's where
00:17:53.72\00:17:56.41
the starting point begins.
00:17:56.44\00:17:58.18
So you had the
prayer, three things.
00:17:58.22\00:17:59.70
I had the prayer
with three things,
00:17:59.74\00:18:01.15
I did get the first
thing that happened,
00:18:01.18\00:18:02.47
I got out of service early.
00:18:02.50\00:18:03.65
How come?
00:18:03.68\00:18:04.87
Well I told my captain,
that is another long story just
00:18:04.91\00:18:08.27
really shortly I really think
things out if I am going to
00:18:08.31\00:18:11.03
go speak to someone I don't
want to look like an idiot.
00:18:11.06\00:18:13.75
I can see you going up saying,
00:18:13.79\00:18:14.96
I'm sorry this is
not working for me.
00:18:15.00\00:18:16.44
Well that is about what I said,
00:18:16.48\00:18:19.41
I just said this
army is not for me and
00:18:19.45\00:18:22.74
I knew what the
captain would say,
00:18:22.78\00:18:24.88
or I thought that I did.
00:18:24.91\00:18:26.02
That any way to make a
long story short I did get
00:18:26.06\00:18:28.65
out of service
early and I told them why.
00:18:28.69\00:18:30.92
I said I am taking orders
from sergeants that have been
00:18:30.95\00:18:34.03
in here 10 years and they
tell me to mop the floor and
00:18:34.07\00:18:37.29
then we had to listen, I
might say we ought to strip the
00:18:37.33\00:18:40.52
floor before we wax it.
00:18:40.55\00:18:41.90
Then they say listen you
are just a PFC so do what
00:18:41.93\00:18:44.56
I tell you and then the captain
comes up and inspects the
00:18:44.59\00:18:46.55
place and it is a
mess and says you should
00:18:46.59\00:18:48.71
have stripped the floor first.
00:18:48.74\00:18:50.19
I always told my captain,
it is not working and he let
00:18:50.23\00:18:54.55
me out early and then
right after that I meant Deb.
00:18:54.59\00:18:58.88
Where?
00:18:58.91\00:19:00.04
Back in Michigan because we
are from Michigan and that's
00:19:00.07\00:19:02.38
where I meant Deb,
that was a great thing.
00:19:02.42\00:19:05.34
But Deb were you
Christian at the time?
00:19:05.38\00:19:08.27
Were you partying with him?
00:19:08.30\00:19:09.71
No, and no
partying, no I just met him.
00:19:09.75\00:19:13.25
Didn't go to church.
00:19:13.29\00:19:15.65
So you had no
religious background?
00:19:15.68\00:19:17.81
Not really, no.
00:19:17.84\00:19:19.49
So when I meant Deb that
was an answer to my prayer,
00:19:21.86\00:19:25.06
but the last thing I
said that I wanted to be real
00:19:25.10\00:19:27.87
Christian didn't even
happen for a while after that.
00:19:27.90\00:19:31.17
I was still drinking and
we ended up getting married
00:19:31.21\00:19:34.45
which was a great thing.
00:19:34.48\00:19:35.81
I told her that I would
love and cherish her in sickness
00:19:35.84\00:19:38.66
and health and all
that and I was starting
00:19:38.70\00:19:40.99
a business of
my own at the time.
00:19:41.03\00:19:42.38
Trying to take care of
Deb but we had no money,
00:19:42.41\00:19:45.73
I think many young
people have no money.
00:19:45.76\00:19:48.68
Very active in the church.
00:19:48.71\00:19:50.17
So he introduced that to you,
and you went back to church?
00:19:50.21\00:19:53.13
I went back to church but
I still was not, at the time,
00:19:53.16\00:19:56.05
I was getting more
active before I really gave
00:19:56.08\00:19:59.69
my heart to the Lord.
00:19:59.72\00:20:00.69
I was still drinking, it was
amazing I could close the bar
00:20:00.70\00:20:03.73
down on Friday night, and
there are so many things you
00:20:03.77\00:20:06.70
wouldn't do, some people
may not understand this but,
00:20:06.73\00:20:09.28
there are certain things
that a Seventh-day Adventist
00:20:09.32\00:20:12.14
you did or did not do like
eating clean and unclean food.
00:20:12.18\00:20:14.94
So I would never, even in the
service, even if I was starving
00:20:14.97\00:20:17.30
I wouldn't eat any
pork, but I would drink.
00:20:17.33\00:20:20.26
That was not as
bad as eating pork.
00:20:20.30\00:20:22.85
I would buy
something on Friday night,
00:20:26.01\00:20:27.63
but would not
buy it on Saturday.
00:20:27.66\00:20:29.25
Each just not even right
but perception is reality.
00:20:29.29\00:20:32.88
What is really interesting
to me is that until we actually
00:20:32.92\00:20:36.14
turned over to God we
will set up our own rules and
00:20:36.17\00:20:38.74
we will follow those rules.
00:20:38.77\00:20:39.96
I remember, tell the
story about the ham sandwich
00:20:39.99\00:20:42.08
when you ordered a ham sandwich.
00:20:42.12\00:20:43.64
Well that was a normal thing
for me to do and he asked me
00:20:43.68\00:20:46.92
do you have to eat that?
00:20:46.95\00:20:48.69
I said no but you know
00:20:48.73\00:20:50.40
it is good, so he would say
well and would start explaining
00:20:50.43\00:20:57.42
a few things and I would
just say she show me in the
00:20:57.46\00:21:00.71
Bible were I can't
eat a ham sandwich?
00:21:00.74\00:21:02.48
Just show me.
00:21:02.51\00:21:03.48
And so he took it
to the Leviticus. Yeah!
00:21:03.49\00:21:05.84
I would show her.
00:21:05.88\00:21:07.78
And you are still drinking -
oh yeah I was drinking a lot.
00:21:07.82\00:21:10.89
Then he would say you probably
shouldn't be doing this,
00:21:10.92\00:21:13.96
or you probably
should be doing that and
00:21:13.99\00:21:15.73
I was like okay
show me that the Bible.
00:21:15.76\00:21:17.35
So he would show
me that the Bible.
00:21:17.38\00:21:18.81
This is the funniest story ever.
00:21:18.85\00:21:20.21
You have got to say
about what you are trying to
00:21:20.24\00:21:23.53
tell him how much he
drank and asked if you could
00:21:23.57\00:21:26.82
have his cans for
what? Tell that story.
00:21:26.85\00:21:29.86
Now we are very
active in the church.
00:21:29.90\00:21:32.87
We were very active though,
but he is drinking a lot.
00:21:37.09\00:21:40.81
I mean he would go out
with my brother or couple of his
00:21:40.84\00:21:44.49
buddies and I would say why
do you have to go out with them?
00:21:44.53\00:21:46.93
Why don't you
want to be with me?
00:21:46.96\00:21:49.57
But anyway I remember asking
him you know any beer cans
00:21:49.60\00:21:54.38
that you have
can I have the money.
00:21:54.42\00:21:57.90
Yeah we didn't have no money.
00:21:57.93\00:21:59.45
He's like well you're
not going to get very much,
00:21:59.48\00:22:02.18
I mean they are only $.10 a can.
00:22:02.22\00:22:03.48
I say can I have the
money from the beer cans?
00:22:03.52\00:22:05.92
He said yes, and I said are
you positive I can do whatever
00:22:05.95\00:22:09.60
I want with the
money from your beer cans?
00:22:09.63\00:22:12.44
Yeah, no problem.
00:22:12.47\00:22:14.44
So I did - are you smart?
00:22:14.48\00:22:16.86
Because most
alcoholics we do not know
00:22:16.89\00:22:19.09
how many beer
cans we actually have.
00:22:19.12\00:22:21.25
He did not think he
drank that much at home,
00:22:21.28\00:22:24.05
he might ride
around with a couple guys,
00:22:24.08\00:22:26.34
but he did not
really realize how much
00:22:26.38\00:22:28.60
he was doing at home.
00:22:28.64\00:22:29.93
So I would save the cans
and I would take them and save
00:22:29.96\00:22:33.30
that money which did
not take very long I go out
00:22:33.33\00:22:35.72
and getting new outfit.
00:22:35.76\00:22:37.23
Then he would come and say
where did you get that outfit?
00:22:37.26\00:22:40.03
Like every husband says.
00:22:40.06\00:22:41.56
Yeah I was upset because
here we had no money and women
00:22:41.59\00:22:45.27
normally have a lot more
dresses than the men have pants
00:22:45.30\00:22:48.95
so I would say
Honey we can't afford it.
00:22:48.98\00:22:50.66
Where in the world,
we don't have any money.
00:22:50.69\00:22:52.30
She said it was from - beer
cans I would save that money.
00:22:52.33\00:22:56.45
So what did you
think when she said that?
00:22:56.48\00:22:58.11
Because if you get it at
all you have to know that.
00:22:58.14\00:23:00.64
He didn't get it
- he didn't get it?
00:23:00.67\00:23:02.49
I didn't believe it, what
really changed was when she
00:23:02.52\00:23:07.43
was dragging out these big
black garbage bags that would
00:23:07.47\00:23:11.71
be put in one of these big
dumpsters, and it was filled
00:23:11.75\00:23:15.96
with beer cans and I
said where have you been?
00:23:15.99\00:23:18.81
Where did you get those,
you did not get those from home?
00:23:18.85\00:23:22.41
And every one of them.
00:23:22.45\00:23:24.07
I did not believe it at
first, but it was true and
00:23:24.11\00:23:28.31
I thought I have a bigger
problem than I thought I had.
00:23:28.34\00:23:30.18
So little by little
with just break and denial.
00:23:30.22\00:23:32.64
Can we talk
about the windowsill?
00:23:32.68\00:23:36.62
Sure! That
would be embarrassing.
00:23:36.65\00:23:40.52
Now I think that was
more a breaking stone for him.
00:23:40.56\00:23:44.04
He would come home late,
or what ever, he didn't go out
00:23:44.08\00:23:47.53
and party a lot but
he still will go out
00:23:47.57\00:23:50.72
especially with my brother.
00:23:50.75\00:23:52.24
But this one particular
night he was standing at the
00:23:52.28\00:23:55.31
window and I had a candy
dish there and I thought he was
00:23:55.35\00:23:58.35
unwrapping a piece of candy.
00:23:58.38\00:24:00.15
I realized what he was
doing now is like Dwight,
00:24:00.19\00:24:04.70
you need to go to the bathroom.
00:24:04.74\00:24:06.46
He was peeing on the
windowsill, a wide windowsill.
00:24:06.50\00:24:10.89
He thought he
was in the bathroom?
00:24:10.93\00:24:13.16
He did not even
know what was going on,
00:24:13.19\00:24:14.44
I kept saying go to
bathroom, go to the bathroom
00:24:14.47\00:24:15.72
go to the bathroom.
00:24:15.75\00:24:16.72
Well he did go
into the bathroom but
00:24:16.73\00:24:17.92
he came right back
out and crashed in bed.
00:24:17.95\00:24:22.46
So I had to, it
took me three huge towels
00:24:22.49\00:24:26.96
and had to soak
all this stuff up.
00:24:27.00\00:24:28.95
I just threw it in the
tub and the next morning
00:24:28.98\00:24:30.94
I said Dwight, I said you
need to get yourself together
00:24:30.97\00:24:34.48
because this is
what you did last night.
00:24:34.51\00:24:37.21
And he's like get out.
00:24:37.25\00:24:39.25
He is like angry,
very angry, I did not.
00:24:39.28\00:24:41.53
I said you go
and smell the towels.
00:24:41.57\00:24:43.70
I told her Honey I am
not in the mood for jokes
00:24:43.73\00:24:46.23
I have a terrible headache.
00:24:46.27\00:24:47.69
Yeah I bet you do.
00:24:47.73\00:24:49.85
Don't be kidding me
this isn't it time to joke,
00:24:49.89\00:24:52.31
talk to me later.
00:24:52.34\00:24:53.31
She said I am not kidding
you, you go smell those towels.
00:24:53.32\00:24:55.19
They were definitely
in there and I was livid.
00:24:55.23\00:24:58.62
So I'm just going to say right
now because a lot of people
00:24:58.65\00:25:01.08
will say to me
Cheri why do people have
00:25:01.12\00:25:03.08
to air people's
laundry like that?
00:25:03.12\00:25:05.02
I'm thinking because it
is lot of our laundries,
00:25:05.05\00:25:07.92
I lot of us are
doing crazy stuff,
00:25:07.96\00:25:09.80
we are hiding drinking, we don't
know how much we are drinking.
00:25:09.83\00:25:12.45
We are trying to
play, we are trying to have
00:25:12.48\00:25:14.39
two different lives
our professional life,
00:25:14.43\00:25:16.30
our church life, our home life.
00:25:16.34\00:25:17.98
I think for God when He
says how am I going to heal
00:25:18.02\00:25:21.33
you if you can't
even see the issues?
00:25:21.36\00:25:24.27
So the reason we are so
blessed by you guys sharing
00:25:24.30\00:25:27.78
this kind of stuff, is
that you had to see it before
00:25:27.82\00:25:31.27
you could even get well.
00:25:31.30\00:25:32.58
Anybody that is
watching has to see it before
00:25:32.62\00:25:34.46
they can get well.
00:25:34.50\00:25:35.61
And I think we have to be
honest, like I said I didn't
00:25:35.64\00:25:38.26
want to play church, and
I did not want to be unreal.
00:25:38.29\00:25:40.87
You are all that at that moment?
00:25:40.90\00:25:42.82
I was all that, but
I did not want to be.
00:25:42.86\00:25:44.43
I think most of us don't
truly want to be that way,
00:25:44.47\00:25:47.08
but I didn't anyway.
00:25:47.12\00:25:48.44
But she was very patient,
she tells lot of people,
00:25:48.47\00:25:53.51
a lot of people when I
share my testimony come up to me
00:25:53.54\00:25:56.20
and say to Dwight I'm so
glad you have bared your soul
00:25:56.23\00:25:58.85
and have been honest because
00:25:58.89\00:26:00.30
we have a lot in common and
they will look at Deb and say,
00:26:00.33\00:26:03.00
honey I don't you put up with
such a jerk all these years?
00:26:03.03\00:26:06.55
But she was patient, she loved
me and knew that I loved her.
00:26:06.59\00:26:10.07
And you knew he was a good guy.
00:26:10.10\00:26:11.79
He just had to see this.
00:26:11.83\00:26:13.22
He just needed to grow
up, and he's working on that.
00:26:13.26\00:26:18.08
But that was the starting
of a changing in me, but Cheri
00:26:18.12\00:26:22.66
I became a vegetarian, I
came back into to the church
00:26:22.70\00:26:27.18
through the health message
because I was a terrible eater.
00:26:27.21\00:26:29.44
When did you mean by that?
00:26:29.47\00:26:30.44
We wouldn't always
eat pork like I mentioned,
00:26:30.47\00:26:33.56
I had a terrible diet, I
drink 15 to 20 cups of coffee
00:26:33.60\00:26:36.82
every day. I probably drink
a 6 pack of Mountain Dew every
00:26:36.86\00:26:40.04
day, of course I was
young and the basketball team.
00:26:40.08\00:26:43.05
I was doing a lot of
things but eating terrible food.
00:26:43.08\00:26:46.55
I decided that wasn't right
and somebody gave me a book
00:26:46.58\00:26:50.02
on health and I started
reading it and I went to
00:26:50.05\00:26:54.18
health food stores
and get other books.
00:26:54.22\00:26:55.81
I came back in through...
00:26:55.85\00:26:57.30
Did you get a bike?
00:26:57.34\00:26:58.43
I hate bikes Cheri so
don't ever get me a bike.
00:27:01.18\00:27:04.87
I like a motorcycle, not a
pedal bike, it's too hard, no!
00:27:04.90\00:27:09.07
Anyway I came
back through that and
00:27:09.10\00:27:11.77
here was a scary thing for me.
00:27:11.80\00:27:13.47
So you can't even come out
all that addiction stuff until
00:27:13.51\00:27:16.41
you start getting healthier,
so that's where you are at?
00:27:16.45\00:27:19.05
I think that was the thing,
and again I didn't know that
00:27:19.09\00:27:21.66
it clears your mind up
and I didn't understand that
00:27:21.70\00:27:23.63
but God was with me.
00:27:23.67\00:27:24.79
I want to say this to
the people to let them know,
00:27:24.82\00:27:27.52
God is with us, He
never wants to let us go.
00:27:27.56\00:27:31.32
He says I will never
leave thee nor forsake thee.
00:27:31.36\00:27:33.00
Even when you are
acting like an idiot.
00:27:33.04\00:27:34.56
He didn't say that
in the exact words.
00:27:34.60\00:27:36.05
He might have said that and I
might not have been listening.
00:27:36.09\00:27:38.34
He is wooing us,
He woos all of us
00:27:38.38\00:27:40.85
every single day,
every moment of the day.
00:27:40.88\00:27:42.47
It is just that we are so
far away sometimes that we
00:27:42.50\00:27:44.49
don't listen and so I
always tell people that
00:27:44.52\00:27:46.80
I am not on plan A with
God, I haven't been for years.
00:27:46.84\00:27:49.26
I'm on plan double-z,
I've went through the alphabet
00:27:49.30\00:27:51.69
at least twice.
00:27:51.72\00:27:52.96
He loves me so much
that when He sees me fail,
00:27:53.00\00:27:55.61
He says okay I'll work on
the next plan, and start over
00:27:55.64\00:27:58.66
again and bring it back
around to where I need to be.
00:27:58.69\00:28:02.23
So He is wooing us and
that is what is happening to me.
00:28:02.27\00:28:05.77
The health message by
studying I started eating
00:28:05.81\00:28:09.13
healthier and
clearing up my mind and
00:28:09.16\00:28:10.91
the scariest thing for
me was to quit drinking.
00:28:10.94\00:28:13.30
I was a complete vegetarian
before a quick drinking beer.
00:28:13.33\00:28:16.64
Wasn't that the weirdest thing?
00:28:16.67\00:28:18.20
I was afraid that
I would have to do?.
00:28:18.24\00:28:19.74
So what where you afraid of?
00:28:19.78\00:28:20.87
I will not have
another beer my life.
00:28:20.91\00:28:23.06
I wasn't thinking day
by day thinking, I like it,
00:28:23.10\00:28:26.24
I enjoy it and then I
want to give up something that
00:28:26.28\00:28:29.39
I enjoy and I end
up making excuses like,
00:28:29.42\00:28:31.37
church people are drinking Coke
with all the caffeine in it,
00:28:31.41\00:28:33.95
and all the sugar and eating
all the donuts and everything
00:28:33.98\00:28:36.49
and I just have a
beer now and then.
00:28:36.53\00:28:38.28
It is not a big deal, but
I knew in the depths of my
00:28:38.31\00:28:41.00
heart that this had to go
but I seriously was afraid.
00:28:41.04\00:28:44.09
What if I was unsuccessful,
what if it didn't work.
00:28:44.12\00:28:47.14
What if I didn't like
who I was without this?
00:28:47.17\00:28:49.67
That's right absolutely
scary, and I was scary.
00:28:49.71\00:28:52.83
Part of what I said I did
not know how to socialize,
00:28:52.87\00:28:55.50
but give me a
couple lines of Coke and
00:28:55.53\00:28:57.93
I could talk your head off.
00:28:57.97\00:28:59.07
Give me a beer or whatever,
so what if I do not know who
00:28:59.10\00:29:02.67
I am outside of this?
00:29:02.70\00:29:04.02
That was my problem, I was
so afraid because I have been
00:29:04.06\00:29:07.47
telling people I want to be
real and I didn't want to play
00:29:07.51\00:29:10.89
church even though I've went
to church I knew I was lost soul
00:29:10.92\00:29:14.27
I knew it was going to
make heaven and I wasn't being a
00:29:14.30\00:29:16.17
hypocrite, I just felt if
I, for me if I completely left
00:29:16.20\00:29:19.81
and never went to church
maybe I would never come back.
00:29:19.85\00:29:23.42
So what made you
finally give it up?
00:29:23.46\00:29:25.84
When did you
finally say okay I'm done?
00:29:25.87\00:29:28.19
It was one Sabbath afternoon
and they had a Bible series
00:29:28.22\00:29:34.81
going on and I was laying
on the couch Sabbath afternoon
00:29:34.84\00:29:37.45
and the Spirit just spoke
to me and said to me Dwight you
00:29:37.49\00:29:40.51
need to go to these meetings,
but I had been to these
00:29:40.54\00:29:43.08
meetings a hundred times
before, I'm not going to go.
00:29:43.11\00:29:45.61
I could not sleep.
00:29:45.65\00:29:46.95
I went and had a
friend and his wife,
00:29:46.98\00:29:50.01
he was a manager for me.
00:29:50.05\00:29:51.96
I went to his house and
it's still small voice was
00:29:52.00\00:29:54.53
saying you have got to
go and ask this person.
00:29:54.56\00:29:57.02
I said they are not going
to go, but I went and asked and
00:29:57.05\00:30:00.44
the guy, when I went in he
offered me a beer and I took it.
00:30:00.47\00:30:03.82
Can you imagine I'm open
up this beer and inviting.
00:30:03.85\00:30:07.08
I love that.
00:30:07.12\00:30:09.30
In fact it was Kenneth
Cox, that was the evangelistic
00:30:09.34\00:30:12.01
series that I went to
was a Kenneth Cox crusade.
00:30:12.05\00:30:14.32
So I'm opening this beer
and asking this guy to go to a
00:30:14.35\00:30:16.89
crusade with me, but
to make a long story short
00:30:16.93\00:30:19.56
he went to and that
was last beer I ever drank.
00:30:19.59\00:30:22.18
I had nightmares for
five years off and on.
00:30:22.22\00:30:24.74
The dreams were so
real, that I was drinking and
00:30:24.77\00:30:27.62
taking drugs and going to
parties, and they were real.
00:30:27.66\00:30:30.41
In my dreams I would say,
this isn't a dream this is real.
00:30:30.44\00:30:33.16
Then I would wake
up and thank the Lord.
00:30:33.19\00:30:34.56
Then to add on to the story a
little bit like my whole heart
00:30:34.60\00:30:40.17
to the Lord, but I
still do not understand.
00:30:40.20\00:30:43.34
I still did not fully
turn it over and we ended up
00:30:43.37\00:30:47.26
moving way out in the
boondocks in Montana where there
00:30:47.29\00:30:51.15
was grizzly
bear, Moose, and elk.
00:30:51.18\00:30:52.65
I said if I cannot face God
and know who He is and learn
00:30:52.69\00:30:57.85
listen to him like Enoch did.
00:30:57.88\00:30:59.67
Before we go there, before
we go there are want to open
00:30:59.70\00:31:02.04
it up for questions because
we are running out of time and
00:31:02.08\00:31:04.45
I want to make sure because
I know there are people here at
00:31:04.49\00:31:06.82
the Café that want to
ask you some things about
00:31:06.86\00:31:09.43
what you have said already.
00:31:09.47\00:31:10.45
Hold on about when you
move to Montana because
00:31:10.49\00:31:13.19
that is a huge thing.
00:31:13.23\00:31:14.40
Okay I want to start
with Geri, you had a question.
00:31:14.44\00:31:18.00
I can so relate to what
you said earlier Cheri about
00:31:18.03\00:31:21.59
reading the books and
doing it on your own, buying the
00:31:21.62\00:31:24.34
books getting the books,
somebody's going to give you
00:31:24.37\00:31:26.91
the books so you can do
this on your own, fake it till
00:31:26.95\00:31:29.92
you make it as we say in
NANA and I tried to do that.
00:31:29.95\00:31:33.21
Like Dwight you said, you
got the books on the health
00:31:33.24\00:31:36.47
food thing and you are
going to do it and get to
00:31:36.50\00:31:38.85
where you want to be.
00:31:38.89\00:31:39.99
I just wanted to be normal,
00:31:40.02\00:31:41.24
it's like God can I
please just be normal?
00:31:41.28\00:31:43.45
That is all I
want is to be normal.
00:31:43.49\00:31:44.89
I wanted to be somebody and
feel like I had a purpose and
00:31:44.92\00:31:47.66
I have done all those things
and gone through all the steps
00:31:47.70\00:31:50.40
but I am still not
sure that I have made it.
00:31:50.44\00:31:52.24
How do you know when you've
gotten past that point you are
00:31:52.28\00:31:54.95
trying to do it on your own,
how do you get to the point of
00:31:54.99\00:31:57.63
actually letting God and
quit trying to fix yourself?
00:31:57.66\00:32:01.00
I do not know if I'm there yet?
00:32:01.03\00:32:02.54
Wow! What do you think?
00:32:02.58\00:32:06.76
I think it is a good question
and I'm not sure you are
00:32:06.79\00:32:10.85
ever going to fully feel
that you have got it made.
00:32:10.89\00:32:14.91
It's just done.
00:32:14.95\00:32:16.28
I think what you said when
you were speaking before hand,
00:32:16.31\00:32:20.99
that you start a relaxing
a little bit, because I do
00:32:21.03\00:32:24.21
believe the Bible says
My sheep hear My voice and
00:32:24.24\00:32:27.39
I think the thing
most of us, I have
00:32:27.43\00:32:31.22
a text Isaiah 30:15, it says in
00:32:31.25\00:32:33.14
quietness will be our strength.
00:32:33.18\00:32:35.04
When we are trying to
00:32:35.08\00:32:36.22
put things in a box,
00:32:36.25\00:32:37.32
us humans want give me
a list of 10 things and
00:32:37.36\00:32:40.71
I will do them.
00:32:40.74\00:32:41.71
We have to get all
that box and let God lead.
00:32:41.72\00:32:44.57
When you move to Montana
one of the reasons you moved out
00:32:44.60\00:32:47.80
there was to get into a quiet
place to break all that stuff.
00:32:47.83\00:32:51.00
Absolutely because I
was losing my temper,
00:32:51.03\00:32:52.91
being a head elder and
doing all these things.
00:32:52.94\00:32:54.78
I could give a
Bible study and come home
00:32:54.82\00:32:56.45
and yell at my wife.
00:32:56.49\00:32:57.56
I knew that something was
wrong because I was praying and
00:32:57.59\00:33:00.14
Lord said you are not
taking time enough to be still
00:33:00.17\00:33:03.58
and know who I really am.
00:33:03.61\00:33:05.83
You are trying to do all
these things to become a good
00:33:05.86\00:33:08.48
Christian and you
are not leading Me lead,
00:33:08.52\00:33:10.25
and that is why
we moved out there.
00:33:10.29\00:33:11.68
I think that is amazing
and, Geri I have to say to you,
00:33:11.72\00:33:15.87
it was really strange one
day I woke up and opened my eyes
00:33:15.90\00:33:19.44
and all of a sudden I thought
I feel so incredible today.
00:33:19.47\00:33:22.97
Then I was
thinking, is it my birthday?
00:33:23.01\00:33:25.75
And I was trying
to figure out did
00:33:25.78\00:33:28.92
I just not remember
what's happening today?
00:33:28.95\00:33:31.61
All of a sudden I heard
the Holy Spirit say no Cheri,
00:33:31.64\00:33:34.51
this is what health
feels like, and I thought
00:33:34.54\00:33:37.12
are you are kidding me.
00:33:37.15\00:33:38.77
So you are saying
you want that feeling,
00:33:38.81\00:33:40.88
just that feeling of health?
00:33:40.91\00:33:42.38
What I realized is
that as I rely on God,
00:33:42.42\00:33:46.36
as I totally realize
that it is really His battle,
00:33:46.40\00:33:49.11
I'm not going to
find the right book,
00:33:49.15\00:33:51.11
I'm not going to
find the right steps,
00:33:51.14\00:33:53.03
I am not going to find
any of that until I find God.
00:33:53.06\00:33:56.84
When I find God just
say to Him, let me be quiet
00:33:56.87\00:34:00.61
in Your presence, let
me ask for your Holy Spirit
00:34:00.65\00:34:02.95
every day, let me
start leaning on You.
00:34:02.98\00:34:05.10
It's strange because
every time I pick it up again,
00:34:05.14\00:34:08.56
every time I strive
again, every time I frantically
00:34:08.59\00:34:11.94
searched to be normal, to
be real and all those kinds of
00:34:11.98\00:34:15.39
things, I am often
running on my own again
00:34:15.42\00:34:17.76
I will fall down in
exhaustion and God says please
00:34:17.79\00:34:20.88
don't do it on your own.
00:34:20.91\00:34:22.61
Do not lean on
your own understanding
00:34:22.65\00:34:24.01
like we covered in Proverbs.
00:34:24.05\00:34:25.74
Really learn to rely on Me.
00:34:25.78\00:34:27.40
When you were in Montana
that was for both you and
00:34:27.43\00:34:30.34
Deb and your children
were learning to totally
00:34:30.37\00:34:33.87
listen to God, slow
down, cut the whole pace out,
00:34:33.91\00:34:37.34
look at your family am I doing
the right thing at home even.
00:34:37.38\00:34:40.74
So many miss this point.
00:34:40.78\00:34:44.38
We want to do all these
great things, we want to have
00:34:44.41\00:34:47.04
these steps, and I am not saying
there aren't steps, but I am
00:34:47.07\00:34:51.35
saying that we can't
put that in front of God.
00:34:51.38\00:34:54.12
With God all things are
possible and He will teach you,
00:34:54.16\00:34:57.67
He said listen I will teach you,
I will give you word behind your
00:34:57.71\00:35:01.08
ear, besides you, walk in
My ways and you cannot do that
00:35:01.12\00:35:04.58
if you are so rushed,
even with good things.
00:35:04.61\00:35:07.25
Like big church things,
you have to have time with God.
00:35:07.29\00:35:10.13
My life changed drastically,
it is another story.
00:35:10.17\00:35:14.02
God will do it.
00:35:14.06\00:35:15.57
We have a couple minutes,
that is not a lot of time.
00:35:15.60\00:35:18.25
Deb do you want to say anything
00:35:18.29\00:35:20.04
more about your guys journey?
00:35:20.08\00:35:21.76
Because you guys
have come from a long way.
00:35:21.80\00:35:23.87
Long way, I don't know
what else you want to cover.
00:35:23.90\00:35:28.13
One thing you asked me before
we were on, is being afraid.
00:35:28.16\00:35:31.90
We've got a couple minutes.
00:35:31.94\00:35:33.82
Real quick, I had a tendency
of just being really afraid.
00:35:33.86\00:35:37.33
Before we move to Montana,
once we move to Montana now we
00:35:37.36\00:35:41.23
have bears to contend with, I
mean that is real, that's real.
00:35:41.26\00:35:45.09
Not only does the bear
have an alcoholic husband,
00:35:45.13\00:35:48.00
but now you have physical fears?
00:35:48.03\00:35:52.11
And with little kids, she
is worried about the children.
00:35:52.14\00:35:54.67
The kids would just
come inside and sit down and
00:35:54.70\00:35:58.02
I would say what are you doing?
00:35:58.06\00:35:59.11
Oh the bear is back, because
we have bears in our yard
00:35:59.15\00:36:01.60
all the time, any
which does nothing to them.
00:36:01.64\00:36:04.46
I realized we were
teaching them they have angels
00:36:04.49\00:36:07.45
and you are okay.
00:36:07.48\00:36:08.47
My son he was nose to nose
with a bear and he comes in,
00:36:08.50\00:36:12.88
it says mom the Bears
here, it was right here,
00:36:12.92\00:36:15.93
it was right here.
00:36:15.96\00:36:17.34
I was like Seth, what
are you talking about?
00:36:17.38\00:36:19.93
The bear was right here
and I finally realize Seth,
00:36:19.97\00:36:23.30
did you shut the door?
00:36:23.34\00:36:24.89
Because if you did not
shut the door that means
00:36:24.93\00:36:26.94
the Bears coming in.
00:36:26.97\00:36:28.12
You know what he was
not afraid, he was like yes
00:36:28.15\00:36:29.99
I shut the door, we don't
want the bear in the house.
00:36:30.03\00:36:33.09
I think from that
point that really helped me,
00:36:33.13\00:36:37.40
as a mom to say you know I
don't have to be afraid either.
00:36:37.43\00:36:40.84
I have angels too.
00:36:40.88\00:36:42.02
So you were learning how to
step into a real relationship
00:36:42.05\00:36:46.66
with God, you also were learning
how to give up fears and trust
00:36:46.69\00:36:50.31
the God that you were raised
with that you were learning
00:36:50.35\00:36:53.14
at the same time you
that you were helping him
00:36:53.18\00:36:55.47
in his recovery.
00:36:55.50\00:36:56.55
I'm just glad that
you shared all that.
00:36:56.58\00:36:58.85
We could do it least
another couple programs on
00:36:58.89\00:37:01.53
just your own recovery process.
00:37:01.57\00:37:04.45
I want to say thanks
Dwight and Deb for coming on
00:37:04.49\00:37:07.68
the program and
thanks for sharing that.
00:37:07.72\00:37:09.13
You know that you can
never drink, unfortunately?
00:37:09.16\00:37:14.68
That is right! Never!
00:37:14.72\00:37:16.19
That is right absolutely!
00:37:16.23\00:37:17.64
For anybody watching
there is a point where we come
00:37:17.67\00:37:19.75
and finally let go and let God.
00:37:19.79\00:37:21.47
Sometimes He may just
say things that you have used
00:37:21.50\00:37:24.95
your whole life you
will have to give up.
00:37:24.98\00:37:27.52
We will pout and it
takes us years to get it
00:37:27.56\00:37:30.03
but when we finally get
it and life turns around.
00:37:30.06\00:37:32.23
I'm going to be right back
were going to talk some more
00:37:32.27\00:37:35.02
so stay with us!
00:37:35.06\00:37:36.29